R.A.D.S (Regressive Adult Development System)_Updated 8/22

[spark]

R.A.D.S
(Regressive Adult Development System)

By Spark

I was a twenty-five-year-old guy who had dropped out of college and bounced from job to job.   I never found any kind of career, and I didn’t have any prospects for one any time soon.  I was still living at my dad’s house, and certainly couldn’t support myself without his help.

More importantly, I wasn’t doing anything to change my situation.  I hadn’t worked in over six months, and that job only lasted a few weeks.   I was supposed to pay rent, but I hadn’t paid in many months, and didn’t do anything to help around the house.

My younger sisters also lived at home, but Erica, my eighteen-year-old sister had just graduated from high school and was enrolled at the local community college.  She still wasn’t sure what she would do but seemed to be taking her classes seriously.    My other sister, Jill, was twenty-three and had just finished her master’s degree in psychology and was working on her PHD with a renown Psychologist, Dr. Kimberly Felds.  Dr. Felds was an expert on young adults, particularly those who hadn’t developed any sense of adult responsibility.   She developed a program called R.A.D.S, which stands for Regressive Adult Development System.   My sister talked with my dad and felt I would be a good candidate for this program.

What is R.A.D.S

Dr. Felds started R.A.D.S as a method to take aimless adults and help them develop responsibility to function as typical adults.   According to Dr. Felds, regressive adults (RAs) , were really just small children, more like a pre-k child than an actual adult.   However, since adults have full autonomy over their lives, it is difficult for the RA to process that freedom.  They just aren’t ready for that level of autonomy, and they need to have that autonomy taken away, much like you do with a small child.

It starts of with the RA being regressed to a small child.  The RA has a very strict routine of bedtimes, naps and eating schedule.  You would never allow a three-year-old child to be unsupervised, and the RA is also under constant adult supervision.   There is always a caregiver who is fully responsible for the RA.   Dr. Felds strongly encourages regressive to devices to encourage the regression of the RA, particularly cribs and diapers.

Since diapers and forced regression is a significant part of the program, there are similarities to diaper and regression punishment.  However, diaper punishment is meant as a short-term discipline that is meant to change that behavior immediately.  “If you act like a baby, I’m going to treat you like a baby.”  R.A.D.S is meant to be therapeutic.  The RA is not ready to handle the responsibility, so that responsibility is taken away.  Eventually those responsibilities are meant to be reintroduced, but that’s a long-term process.  Instead of days, it’s months, or even years.

The first part is the regression, and it isn’t until the RA is completely complaint and not resistant to caregivers’ guidance that they are ready to begin the second stage, which is the gradual reintroduction of responsibility and maturity.  However, that is meant to be slow, and can be fluid.

The key is the relationship between the RA and primary caregiver.  In most cases, that is a parent, or somebody who has been in a parental role.  However, in some cases it has been a spouse.  But, that usually becomes more parental relationship in the long-run.   In my case, my sister Jill was my primary caregiver.   Which was interesting, since Jill is two years younger than me.

However, since the RA’s status is not hidden, the entire household must be actively participating in the program.   In my case, that included my dad, and my sister, who is seven years younger than me.

[Bonsai]

The idea is interesting but you just drop it without managing to build a plot around it.

If you want your reader to empathize with the characters in your story, you need to speak more to their heart than to their brain. ‘This means, you need to get into their perspective and describe what they feel & and perceive. 

[keith60]

the story is to short

[spark]

2 minutes ago, keith60 said:

the story is to short

It's the first installment.

 

[keith60]

i hope the rest comes soon

[spark]

22 minutes ago, keith60 said:

i hope the rest comes soon

I'm hoping to draft the 2nd installment tonight.  It will clear up some of the writing style

[keith60]

cool

[Disk]

I'd like to see more details as to why the main character has agreed to this therapy. Where they coerced? They sound very passive in the initial entry.

[spark]

Sorry for the quick edit from the first edition.

This is a fiction piece, but is written in the form of non-fiction.   This part explains how the subject agrees to the therapy, and gives a little bit of background on the narrator.

How to implement R.A.D.S?

One of the most important steps is to plan how to implement R.A.D.S.   There is almost always an initial resistance to the program when first introduced to the concept.   It always requires pre-planning and prep before it is even introduced to the RA.

In my case, my sister already had the diapers and crib conversion kit on hand before she even mentioned it to me.  She was ready to begin right there.   There are cases were the family forces the RA to comply through corporal punishment.  I’ve heard of some cases where the caregiver spanked the RA with enough force that the RA was bawling and begging for the punishment to end.   However, since R.A.D.S. is not meant to be a punishment, and starting of the program with such a violent assault doesn’t set the right tone for the program.  It never seems to have the lasting effect that is desired.

Mind you, once the RA is incorporated into the program, the caregivers must punish the RA when necessary, and that punishment is left up to the discretion of the caregiver.  However, the same principals apply to who you would discipline a small child.   Most likely that is a firm swat on the butt rather than a traditional spanking.

The main key is to bring the RA into a position where they realize there is no other alternative, and they have no choice but to comply with the request.  A word of caution: tantrums are expected when the RA is first introduced to the concept, and the caregiver(s) should be prepared.  Dr. Felds believes this is a healthy part of the process, and has more concerns when the RA willingly agrees to the program.

In my case, I initially didn’t have a clue what my sister was talking about.  I didn’t really know what she was studying, nor did I really care.  Obviously, I knew that I was a huge disappointment to my dad, which I blamed on the fact that my mom passed away seven years earlier, and I hadn’t gotten over her death.   Mind you, my little sister went into a PHD program, while I couldn’t even keep a job a Starbucks.

When she told me that I would be a good candidate, I was interested.  Mind you, I didn’t know what it was.   My sister went on to describe the program, talking about how I would have a strict bedtime, and be under constant adult supervision.

I asked, “So, I’m going to be treated like a school kid?”

“No, more like a small child.  We are going to put you back in diapers.”

I immediately blew up and told them there was no way I was going to be put in a diaper.  I shouted, and most of what I said was just incoherent ranting.  My dad initially started to engage with my me, but Jill stopped him.  “Dad, we’re not going to reason with him right now.  It’s fine, let him blow it off, and we will discuss it further.”

That made me angrier, but they walked away, and I had nobody to listen to my rant.  That night I was almost in tears, begging them to not make me do this.  My dad said, “If you can pay your rent at the end of the month, you can stay in the house.  But if you don’t, the only way you are staying is if you agree to the program.”

I was supposed to pay my dad $300 a month, but I hadn’t paid in in eight months and only had paid him three times in the last two years.   I didn’t have a job and didn’t have a way to get the money.  I asked about going back to school because that had always worked before.  This time my dad calmly said, “I can’t be wasting any money on school for you.”  

I had about two weeks to find a job, and for the first few days I tried.  Unfortunately, my family stopped hassling me about looking for a job, and I thought they forgot about the ultimatum.  I didn’t have the money at the end of the month and begged for more time.   Nobody was willing to listen and told me that I was either going to have to start the program or move out.  I tried to argue, but soon realized there was no point.   

I decided to pack up and leave.  Unfortunately, most of my clothes were gone.  The only stuff I had was what I had bought with my own money.  I asked for my car keys, but my dad said, “That’s not your car.  I bought it, and I pay for all of the gas and insurance.”   Like a four-year-old running away with all of his toys, I left and huff vowing never to return.

Unfortunately, none of my friends let me spend the night, and nobody was going to let me live at their house rent free.   I didn’t have anywhere to sleep, and I was too afraid to sleep in the park.  The next morning I was cold hungry and tired.  I had rained, and I still wasn’t completely dry.    I called my dad and asked if I could come home.

My dad wasn’t angry when he picked me up.   He seemed relieved.  I took a shower, got some food, and then waited in my room for my sister.    My room was completely different.   All of my posters were gone, and replaced with some of the stuff from storage.  Mostly stuff that Erica had when she was little.   My bed had been converted with rails high enough to make it look like a crib.   “What this?”

“Your room.”

“But there’s a crib!”

“It’s part of program.”  My dad’s responses were short and firm.

“I’m not sleeping a crib.”  I cried.

He barely reacted.  “Don’t move from this room until Jill gets home.  She’ll be here in about two hours.”

My sister came home and told me to strip.  I threw a small tantrum, but she put a pacifier in my mouth and reminded me that I agreed to this.   I was put in the diapers and led back living room.  I was sent to the corner of the living room and put in time-out.   I waited in that corner for about two hours, before being fed, changed, and sent to bed.

Mine was a textbook example of introducing R.A.D.S.   I was one of the first to be introduced in Dr. Feld’s program.  The parents of one of Jill’s high school friends was put in R.A.D.S by her parents, and they just took away her clothes and credit cards.   She gave in after a few days of being deprived.

[Kaleros]

This story is starting to look interesting, even though I noticed a few typos.

[spark]

19 minutes ago, Kaleros said:

This story is starting to look interesting, even though I noticed a few typos.

Sorry about that.  Hopefully the typos aren't too distracting.   It might be lazy, but I kind of proof as I type,and sometimes make major typos when writing.   I've tried to a final edit before posting, but that process was far too cumbersome- and I end up bogging down.   In this format- it more of a first draft and then if It reaches that stage I can finalize the product.

For me- I prefer reading text that is in a non-fiction format, rather than the traditional plot format, which is why I almost always prefer narratives to non-narrative pieces.

[Bonsai]

Second chapter is much better than first one.

[spark]

Diaper Training

Dr. Fells recommends that the RA must be in diapers all the time and have no responsibility or control over the diapering process.   The RA should not have any access to the toilet, and they should not be able to acknowledge the condition of their diaper.   The care giver is responsible for check and change RA’s diaper, and they should do this just you would with a child who is not yet potty trained.  This is the first step in the process and does not change until the RA is ready to resume adult responsibilities.

That is always a difficult step to take.   Potty training is typically a huge milestone in the development of a child.  Most people do not remember being potty trained, nor do they have memories of wearing diapers.   The need for diapers is associated with being a baby, and setbacks are seen as failure to fully graduate from the baby stage.   I think that is why bedwetting can be so traumatic for children, and there is stigma attached to bladder and bowel issue.

.

However, it is not uncommon for an RA to have been delayed in potty training and prolonged bedwetting.    We don’t have the numbers, but a lot of RAs do remember wearing diapers.    Most of them acknowledge wearing diapers to bed, but some have acknowledged that wore diapers during the day past the normal age.

That was certainly the case for me.  I know that I was wearing diapers during the day when I was five, while Jill, who was three, was potty trained.   I wore diapers to bed until I was seven and had to go back to diapers again when I was ten.   That was when my sister Ericka was being potty trained.  I even started to wet my pants enough that my mom put me in a diaper during the day for a short time.

It is also difficult for the caregivers.  Most parents celebrate the end of the diaper stage with a sense of joy and relief.   They never want to return to that stage, and they definitely do not want to be changing poopy diapers.  However, the RA not only wets their diaper, but they will also be pooping in their diaper.  And this is not children’s poop, it’s a full-grown adult’s poop.

RAs are resistant to wearing diapers and will rebel as much as possible.   They go through all the stages, which include begging, crying, tantum, and vandalism.   The caregiver has to remain calm, but firm.   We will talk about disciplining the RA, but it is important to appropriately discipline the RA for these outbursts.     The RA must realize they have no other option and learn to accept the diapers.

This is a hard step to take, and a lot of people are not willing to take on this step.  This is not a short-term program.  It takes at least a year, and that’s a full year of changing diapers.   My sister followed the program exactly how Dr. Fells designed it, so I was put in diapers from the beginning.    Her friend, Chelsea, was not initially put in diapers.   Her parents did not want to deal with the diapers, or the tantrums that she would throw if made to wear diapers.   However, two months later, I was a lot more compliant and easier to handle.   Chelsea was throwing daily tantrums, sneaking out, and not progressing at all.  Her parents took Jill’s recommendation and put Chelsea in diapers.   In just a few weeks Chelsea was much calmer and didn’t tantrum nearly as much.

And that seems the case with R.A.D.S in general.   RAs that are diaper trained do better than non-diapered RAs.  After three years, 90% of the diaper trained RAs are self-sufficient and functional adults.   Non-diapered RAs rarely complete the program, and they usually abandon the program in a few months.  For me, diaper training created a dependence on my sisters, which in turn created a trust in my sisters, and allowed me to mature as an adult.

Diaper training is not diaper discipline.   It can appear to be punishment, and that’s how I felt when it initially started, but my diapers were not meant to be punishment.   Instead, it was more that I was ready to be potty trained.

It’s technically the reverse of potty training at child. I was conditioned to use the toilet for my business.   My mom had trained me that pee and poop goes in the toilet, and eventually it was instinctive.  Jill had to train me to do my business in a diaper, and not to react to a wet, or poopy diaper.

It wasn’t easy.   Jill was purposely keeping me hydrated and feeding me natural laxatives and diuretics.   I had to pee and poop, but I couldn’t got to the point where it hurt and I was begging Jill to let me use the toilet.   She refused, put me a empty garbage can and told me to go in my diaper.   I did, and she made sure to praise me for using my diaper.   She told me to just pee in my diaper before the urge was so bad, and it would be much easier if I just peed a little bit whenever I felt the need.   She also tried to get me to try to poop in my diaper, but I couldn’t.  She warned me that I would get an enema.  The next day I was given an enema, and back in the garbage can.

My sister used a combination of positive and negative reinforcement.   She always praised and made a big deal when my diaper was wet, or messy.    It the same method that she would use when her son was potty trained, except he got the praise for using the potty and I got the praise for using my diaper.   Jill would check my diaper and ask, “Is your diaper wet,” and then when it was wet she would praise tell me how proud she was.

The first time I pooped in my diaper without the enema, Jill proudly announced to the family (and my sister’s friend), “Guess who just pooped in his diaper!”  Everybody followed up with “Good job Scott, we’re proud of you.”

The garbage can, enemas, and timeouts were usually enough negative reinforcement to change my behavior.   Timeouts were always long.  I was never sure how long I would be there, and didn’t a way to know how long I would be there.   I would then have to regain some privileges, like sitting at the table instead of the highchair.

The difference between potty training and diaper training is that I couldn’t have accidents.  I was constantly supervised, and my sisters wouldn’t let me sneak away to use the toilet.   I was quickly disciplined whenever I tried, so eventually I just gave up and just used my diaper.

After a few weeks, I was wetting my diaper without even noticing.  I think I knew that I had peed, but I didn’t care.  It took a while longer to easily poop in my diaper.   I usually pooped in the morning, and I would crouch in the corner and fill my diaper.

My diapers were always changed by whoever was watching, and it was always with a lot of attention and fanfare.    In most cases, it was one of my sisters.   Ericka watched me most days, and usually changed the poopy diaper in the morning.   Jill would put me to bed and change my diaper at night.   Ericka’s friend, Monica, would babysit in the afternoon, and she frequently had to change my diaper.  My dad only changed me when nobody else was around, but he rarely checked my diaper when he did.   My sisters learned to make sure I was dry when my dad had to watch me.

[spark]

Disciplining the RA

Like any other children, discipline is critical.  The regressed adult has not accepted the responsibilities of adulthood is because they don’t have the self-discipline and judgement to handle it.   The caregiver has to provide that discipline and judgement, with the hope that it will eventually transfer to the RA and the RA is able to gain that independence.

The temptation is to discipline through fear.  And fear is an efficient to get immediate compliance, because if the RA fears the caregiver, the RA will not disobey their caregiver.  However, the only way to maintain that control is through the added element of fear, and the behavior will regress once the fear is removed.   This is one of the many reasons that spanking is not the recommended method of discipline.  There is also an erotic nature to spanking, which can create some confusion in the CG-RA relationship.

There is also the potential for violence, especially if the RA is degraded too far, and they see no other alternative but to lash out.   And we’re dealing with fully grown adults, even if they do have the maturity of a small child.   R.A.D.S is not an effective program for people who are prown to violent outburst.   My tantrums were more incoherent ranting, and I do tend to throw things to the wall- but they are never directed at people.   That’s what made me a good candidate for R.A.D.S.   Even so, I was warned early that if I ever acted violently towards somebody, I would be kicked out of the house, and she would call the police on me.   Just the threat of being kicked out of my home was enough for me.

RAs tend to exhibit two types of misbehavior, especially early on.    The first is the immature behavior that you might see from a small child.   That’s stuff like not listening to my sisters, playing with something I shouldn’t be touching, or throwing a fit because I didn’t get what I wanted.   It’s amazing how my behavior mimicked that of a small child.   I once threw a fit because I wanted a snack, and Ericka wouldn’t let me because it was too close to dinner time.   Jill handled these outbursts the same way she has handled them from her son.  She would remove the stimulus, re-direct me.  If I was pouting or having a meltdown- I would be given a pacifier and sent to my room until I calmed down.

The second is rebelling and trying to regain independence.   For me this included foul language, doing stuff without permission, or trying to escape from my supervised area.  These require firm discipline, and longer lasting consequences.    Jill used what I called the long-term timeout.  This was where I was sent to the corner with my face against the wall for an extended time.    I was never sure how long it would be, but it was always at least an hour.  I didn’t have anyway to track the time anyway.   I just had to wait until somebody let me out of the corner, but I still faced consequences.  Jill utilized an array of privileges that I earned through good behavior and would lose with poor behavior.  We had a playpen and a highchair that she would only use when I was bad.   So, I would go from the corner to the playpen, and that would stay until my sister determined I was ready to be supervised without it.  It usually took a full day, but it would be extended if I acted out,

Jill has mentioned that I didn’t have much of a rebellious streak. In my mind, it felt like I had a lot of corner time that first month, and I ate a lot of meals from that highchair.  In my mind, that first month it was corner, playpen, highchair, and crib.  However, my sisters utilized a lot of positive encouragement.  They specifically told me when I was being good, and soon just knowing that I disappointed them was enough of a punishment.