Hi, I'm Thomas, I'm 40 And I'm Incontinent.

[ThomasInWVa]

Ok. Here’s my intro. I’m male, married, 40 years old and incontinent. I became incontinent after a minor traffic accident in spring of 2003.

The accident was minor and my only injury was whiplash. But wasn’t as simple as expected. Within 40 minutes after the accident, I was feeling a heavy pain in my upper back and shoulders. My lower back was also sore but it was my upper back that really hurt. That day and the second day I thought it was just stress because my new truck was banged up and I had to deal with all that. Around the 3rd day my incontinence symptoms started. At first it was just a frequent and strong urge to pee. This wasn’t constant, usually happening latter in the day.

It was the 4th or 5th day that I had my first ‘accident’. I was at home and my body just couldn’t hold it any longer and I just went. My bladder wasn’t full at all since I just went about 10 minutes earlier. As expected I got some Depends briefs just in case it happened again. I did not mention this to my wife or anyone else except my chiropractor. At this time I also started to leak seminal fluid. Not a huge amount but it does build up. I would also have ‘dry’ or soft orgasms at times. With no erection, I would have a series of orgasmic muscle contractions but no ejaculation. Otherwise sexual function was not affected except that my back hurt so much sex wasn’t really and option.

Over the course of the next few days, the leaks and loss of control got worse but I didn’t totally lose control. I would be fine at night and the morning. Afternoons and evening were the problem.

Now at the same time, my shoulders, back and legs were hurting. In my legs I would experience a feeling like an electrical shock at times. This was most disconcerting.

My minor loss of urinary control was not my biggest problem or concern for a simple reason, it didn’t hurt. My back was in constant pain. But what really made me afraid and worried me was the memory loss. On the 4th day I was at an event for my Wife’s work and we were sitting at a table with my father-in-law and some close friends I had known for years. I realized I could not recall my father-in-law’s name nor the names of our friends. I was completely blank on the subject. Latter I realized I had forgotten combos to my safe and some very important passwords. This was a very serious problem.

But the memory loss was temporary. After about the 10th day it was fine. Because of this, the incontinence sort of ‘snuck up on me’. For a number of months my incontinence was back and forth. I would go for a few weeks with some loss of control in the afternoons and evenings. Only a couple of times did I ever wet at night. I had expected it because I had irritated my lower back so I was wearing a diaper.

This “back-and-forth” lasted until last fall. I had a period where things were fine for months. I would still get frequent urges to pee but I could hold it and was in control. I still wore a light diaper during the day and sometimes at night. After the new year (2007) things were really starting to look up. I was in good control but I knew things were not as they were. I would still leak seminal fluid at times. And the soft orgasms still occurred.

But things completely shifted in late Feb of 2007.

With absolutely no warning at all, I loss all urinary control. I had not stressed my back nor had any injuries. My back felt ok. I was driving home and felt I had to pee and I immediately went with no control at all. It was one of the few times where I had no control at all. And it has been that way ever since. Day and night. On top of that, the ‘shock’ feeling in my legs is more frequent and the seminal fluid leakage and soft orgasms are back. The soft orgasms happen much more often. Nearly every time I am still. Sometimes they can be quite intense. While annoying, they usually feel very, very good and can be highly distracting. Without ejaculating, the sexual arousal feeling doesn’t go away and at times builds. Because of this my body produces more seminal fluid and it leaks very heavily at times. There is no sperm in it, just a clear sticky fluid. -I can have sex normally.

The problems are all a result of nerve damage in my lower back. My chiro and other doctors warned me that this could happen sometime after the accident and it finally did. Specifically, my body holds urine just fine, its just that now as soon as I feel that I have to go, my body releases on its own. Sometime I don’t get the ‘to go’ feeling at all and I just pee. There are also times where I should pee but I don’t. I can feel the pressure in my body but I don’t have the feeling that I have to go but then I’ll suddenly go very, very heavily. I don’t leak. Its either all or nothing.

So, I’m now completely urinary incontinent with some extra problems throw in. I never really ‘got’ how this effects someone until I had to wear diapers all the time for about a week.

I’m getting to the point where I realize that I’ll always be in diapers. But I’m not the kind of person that feel sorry for myself of laments life’s turns.

I am not an AB or a DL. I just have to use diapers. Because of the seminal fluid leakage, I can’t use a cath. Not that I would want to anyway. To me, diapers are just the type of underwear I have to use. I do not get ‘turned on’ by diapers. Actually it’s the opposite.

Personally, I feel that ABs or DLs have a few screws loose somewhere. But I also understand that is isn’t something that they have control over either. I understand what could cause it so it isn’t something to hate or fear. It just isn’t something that I’m not into. Some of the overt AB and DL stuff is a bit much but I won’t have a problem with it.

I would never talk to anyone except my chiro about my condition but even then she can’t help with questions about diapers or wearing them. So a place like this could be helpful. And sometimes I just need to shout at the World.

So, that the super condensed version of what happened to me.

[PrincessDragonette]

Welcome to DailyDiapers Thomas. I think that you will find we are all very friendly around here. There are actually quite a few 'just incontinent' people here, so I am sure you will fit right in. I was temporarily incontinent due to job related stress and other factors for a few months. Long enough for me to understand that what you are going through is not easy.

As far as ab/dl's having a few screws loose, I think you may have something there. I can only speak for me, but as a dl, and ab more and more, I can tell you that for me it is a coping mechanism. I have suffered a lot of trauma in my short 24 years of life and wearing diapers takes me back to a more innocent time. I know there are a lot of people here in the same boat as me, a lot that have suffered even more than I, both emotionally and physically.

In short, if you are here for support, you will find it. Jump right in, meet some new people and/or just sit back and watch. Have fun!

[DIAPERPHANTOM]

Welcome to the site, ThomasInWVa! Sorry to hear about the accident and the problems that followed. I hope you will find something positive here to make your life more enjoyable.

[curious]

WELCOME TO DD Thomas! Im right beside u in ur neighboring state of Ohio! I hope ur enjoy it here and have lots of fun and make lots of friends!

huggles and kissies and lots of love,

Curious

[nappyloon]

Hi ThomasinWVa sorry to hear about your accident and the resulting issues you have now got.

It was nice to hear your story and it sounds to me like you have and are dealing withthe problems in a very practical manner, whilst you may not be a D/L or A/B I am sure you will find plenty of people here who will gladly help you out with any problems you may encounter.

I wish you all the best in dealing with your health issues.