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Hi all. I thought I'd tell you my hospital diapering story. I write to you right now while wearing a large and somewhat soggy diaper with a medical look to it, while wrapped up snugly in my warm blankets. These diapers are very spacious and thick, they have the odd effect of making me forget where my pee-pee is positioned at all--seems it could be anywhere in the mass of almost nerve-numbing padding. I think I wet while I was laying down earlier, though I'm not totally sure. Probably peed a couple of times. Feels like I won't need a change for a while though.

When I poke at these undies very gently with one finger only, it seems like wave of pressure is coming from all directions. I couldn't tell you where my finger was, or where my genitals were. They're in there somewhere, and that's probably for the better considering the accidents. Let me back up a bit and tell you how I got here, and how I ended up in diapers pretty much against my will.

I had a mental health episode back in early February that landed me in an institution. I would rather not go into the specifics, suffice to say I was going to be holed up for a while. I remember that the food was hard to get used to at first, but, you get used to it. As a safety precaution, I was only allowed to wear the outfit that was approved there, a plain looking hospital gown and some ruffly thin trousers. They'd begun to force an unknown cocktail of medications on me which were having some pretty strong effects. I could tell by how sedated I was that there was some kind of anti-psychotic in the chemical soup. Three times a day with meals I took pills of many different colours, none of which I knew the potential side effects of. I guess I had to simply place my trust in an authority whose methods were unknown to me.

It was around my fifth day there when I noticed pee leaking down my leg under the trousers I had on. It had already came out, I had no recollection of peeing. I was a bit dazed, and couldn't make out what that strange cold feeling was for a while. I noticed when I sat down in a chair in the common room that my crotch had a few thin lines of wetness emanating downward from it. It was only then that it dawned on me, I'd wet myself. No idea when, but I was wet now.

I stood up and shuffled around, looking for my nurse. Her name's Lindy, she's a pretty woman a few years older than me. If I had to describe her body type, she's fit but a little thick, with something extra on the caboose. You'd almost think she was wearing diapers too, if it wasn't for her panty lines. I spotted her as she walked briskly past me on her way to the east wing. I had to catch up with her, but she was too quick. I followed along behind, trying hard to stay focused. It seemed like I was nearly ready to forget the whole matter and lay down on the cool tile floor for a nap.

"Lindy?" I called. "Lindy?"

She stopped and turned. "Yes?"

"I had an accident I think," I said calmly, much more calmly than I would have if I wasn't totally drugged.

"I see, I see," She said in a laid back and cool way. "Let's go, follow me."

I was a little bit disoriented as she led me by the hand to the room I was staying in. I had little sense that we were going there until we were actually in the room. In a lot of ways it was more like a cell than a room, with white walls and an angular metal bunk bed being its most defining features. Up above my bed there was a small sliver of window, with bright sunlight trying to poke as much of itself in as possible.

"Can you sit on the floor for me, hon?" She helped me to sit on the floor. The chillness of it made me shudder. Suddenly, I was feeling really cold. I started to shiver.

"I'm c-cold," I stammered.

"It might be a side effect of one of your meds. I'll be right back, you just stay on the floor, okay?"

"Why the floor?" I asked hazily.

"Well," She began, as if trying to find the nicest words possible give the awkward circumstances, "I'm afraid you'll pee on the bed--be right back, just stay there..." She trailed off as she briskly exited the room, closing the door behind her. I distinctly remember hearing the door's lock reverb through the room as it was turned, and suddenly I felt a burst of warmth on my crotch as I erupted into feeble shivers.

I don't know how long I sat there, but when Lindy returned she had a really thick looking blanket which immediately put my heart at rest in a child-like sort of way when I saw it. She was also holding under her arm what looked like a package of diapers. I watched as she laid the blanket out on the bed and placed the diapers on my little bedside table by the ruled journal they gave us.

I took this fact without concern, not really making the connection of assuming that those diapers were going to be there for me. Soon Lindy had placed a mat on the floor beside my bed and motioned for me to come over.

"Come on, come on sweetie. This won't be so bad."

I went to her cooing call, transfixed by her disarming gaze. It almost looked sensual at the time, but I doubt she wanted anything to do with my pants-wetting butt beyond merely changing it.

Before I really knew what hit me, I was fastened into a gigantic crinkly diaper. I tried to sit up at first but fell back. Luckily, Lindy was there to catch me and help me sit up against my bed.

"So, we have you in a brief," she said, looking at me with a sympathetic gaze that suggested a little pity as well. "I need you to not try to take this off, okay? I really, really need you to cooperate with me."

"I don't wanna wear a diaper--"

"I know, I know you don't. But I really can't trust you after that big accident you just had," she cooed.

"No, no!" I said, raising my voice slightly as the gravity of the situation began to weigh on me.

"Please, they're not so bad to wear... Will you do it for me?" She winked at me and smiled contagiously. I couldn't help but capture a little of her smile on my own lips.

"Well, fine," I said after a pause. "But I don't need diapers."

"Yes you do, remember that accident you had? I can't have you trailing pee. That's not nice feeling, is it?" She shook her head for emphasis.

"Oh, yeah," I replied after a pause. I shivered some more and Lindy helped me into my bed and under the covers. She tucked me in like as if she was my mommy. It felt that way at the time.

"Now you're all snuggly and warm, and protected. I will bring you your dinner and your medication soon, okay?"

"Thanks mommy," I said before I could stop myself. I laughed at the silliness of what I'd just said and could have swore I felt something warm swelling up on my crotch. "Sorry mo--I uh--sorry Lindy."

She looked at me for a long time after I said that. Not with an unhappy gaze though. I could see some pity in her eyes for her poor diapered patient, but there was something motherly mingled in there as well. When she sat down on my bed and began to stroke my hair, the motherliness was made much more manifest. There was no doubt that she cared about me in that most vulnerable moment. I think as she stroked my hair, I continued to dribble into my diaper. I shivered here and there, which only made the fight to keep my pee inside more difficult. I have no idea how much I was peeing at the time, but after she left the room I took a peek under the covers and saw that it looked puffy and yellow, though I felt totally dry. It was weird at first, I wasn't used to the oddly comforting and convenient mechanics of my new diapered life. Here I was peeing myself in bed and it didn't even feel wet. I looked at the plastic tabs fastened firmly on the front panel of my underwear and tried to pull one of them off out of curiosity and absentmindedness. It wouldn't budge, so I gave up my effort soon after. I didn't know what to think about being diapered at the time. so I rolled over and tried to get some sleep. I passed out almost immediately.

I woke up in a daze and tried to sit up, though I struggled to at first, feeling a little bit dizzy. I stared at the wall for a while as I came to. The room seemed darker somehow. I looked up at the little window and saw no light pushing through. It must have been the middle of the night. I went under the covers again and looked at my diaper with an absentminded, child like curiosity again. My diaper's different! It wasn't soggy yellow anymore. When did that happen?

***

I'll cut to the chase and fast forward a little. As the weeks went on I came to really like Lindy's diaper changes. She was really gentle about it and rubbed lots of baby powder into me with intimate movements. Her changes were the highlight of my otherwise dreary days at the asylum. I liked to look at her thick thighs as she cleaned me. I wasn't sure if my bladder control was getting better or not, and I didn't really care or think about it. As the weeks went by I watched as package after package of disposables came and went, doing their time on my feeble and soggy bottom before being relegated to the diaper genie. By the time of writing this, it seems I've lost most of my bladder control. But I'm not really concerned, since I have Lindy around most days of the week to keep me changed and secure. Maybe it's not so bad here.

I found a group to play with during common time. When we aren't playing video games together, we're playing with blocks. They don't seem to know that there's a diaper under my pants, but it seems like they're as hazy and inattentive as me. I swear I caught a glimpse of the waistband of a pull-up on one of the women in the group. Maybe most of the patients here were in some kind of diaper. Luckily for me Lindy always made sure I was changed into a clean brief before playtime so I wouldn't have to be interrupted.

So that's my story. I hope you liked it.

End note: this is a fictional account. Hope you enjoyed the ride.

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