A New Start - Priv with LilGirlLya

[groveoflove]

Fern tried to hold it back, but couldn’t help a small giggle from slipping out as he tried to squirm away. “Sssstoopp, I’m trying to watch!” He ducked his head, before looking up to watch the ending of the movie play out. He was satisfied to see he was right on the ending, as he leaned back. “I watch a lot of horror movies. If they have some of the ones from my world here, can we watch one sometime too? I like Jordon Peele’s stuff. They’re really good, and he casts mostly black actors, and horror movies have a long history of leaving them as side characters. And-“ He realized he was rambling, and cut himself off self consciously, so Rachel wouldn’t find it annoying. “...Yeah, I like animals.”

Fern was relieved at the offer of a subject change, and tried to quickly think of what he wanted to do. He didn’t really want to watch another movie right now, especially a family movie, so he had to think of games he liked as a kid. Though he did really like playing in the rain and the mud. You could see frogs. “....Can we play hide and seek or something? Um. I’m a little wet...” 

[LilGirlLya]

"Well that does sound interesting. I can see about finding some either with or without triggers here if you like scary things. Just don't tell any of the other littles or their parents, it'll be our secret, you being my scary movie buddy."

"I think we could manage hide and seek if we stay on the bottom floor. First off though, let's get someone all nice and clean." Rachel let Maddie walk to the baby gate before lifting her up and into here arms up the steps. Luckily her overalls had snaps so she wouldn't need to get Maddie totally undressed. She popped the crotch open and untaped Maddie's diaper. "Are you sure you're just a little wet Maddie? I think a certain little girl may have gotten a little bit more scared then she thought." Maddie was wet, but not soaked so the teasing was mostly in good fun. Her little girl was wiped clean and powdered dry before a new, crinkly white diaper was pulled up between her thighs and taped onto her bottom. "There we go, one nice, dry little girl. Alright, lets get you back downstains. Do you want to be the hider first or should Mommy hide and you find me?"

[groveoflove]

“I just drank a lot of water.” Fern huffed, letting Rachel pick him up and bring him back downstairs. Even if Rachel hadn’t said to only play downstairs, he likely would’ve stuck down there. Rachel usually always carried him up and down the stairs, and he didn’t think he could make his way up them by himself in time. They were pretty darn big compared to him. But there were loads of other hiding spots he could find easily, he bet. He’d finally have an advantage of being so small compared to Rachel. “I want to hide first.” Fern decided after a minute, wiggling so Rachel would know to put him down. “And don’t peek!”

[LilGirlLya]

"Alright, you run off and go hide. I won't peek honey. I'm going to count to 100." Rachel began to count, keeping her eyes covered. She heard the crinkle of Maddie's diaper as she scurried around the lower floor but eventually she must have gotten far enough away that the sound diminished. "Alright, ready or not, here I come!" Rachel began to look for her girl, talking loudly as she searched. "Is Maddie in the fort? Nooo. Is she...behind these curtains! I'll find you baby girl!" Rachel had made the first two checks performatively. If Maddie was still in the living room her crinkle butt would have given her away already. It was only after she searched some less obvious places that it occurred to her that Maddie might be a more formidable Hide and Seak opponent than she imagined. Maddie still had most of her wits about her still, but she was the size of a little. It wasn't much of as exaggeration to say she could have hidden anywhere.

[groveoflove]

Fern took off immediately, not wanting to lose any time. Rachel did have much longer legs then he did after all, and wasn’t weighed down by a dumb thick diaper. The first room he darted into was the kitchen, where he shot a quick look around to analyze his options. The cabinets on the bottom were too obvious, she’d look there first along with the broom closet. He briefly considered using his climbing skills to scramble up the counters and hide in one of the cabinets up THERE, but he was pretty sure Rachel wouldn’t be thrilled if he did something risky like that. And today had been...kinda fun, he’d been given way more options and freedom, he didn’t want to lose any of that if he got in trouble.

So he ditched the kitchen for now. Rachel was already past the 50s so he had to move it. He considered hiding behind one of the houseplants as well, before finally darting into the downstairs bathroom. Which admittedly, he’d never actually been in before. There wasn’t a tub, so there wasn’t any ‘need’ for him there. He eventually settled on the towel closet there, as it was smaller and seemed to be mostly used for storage. He hastily moved a mop to the side, before scrunching down in the corner behind the vacuum cleaner and under a laundry basket. Boy, he hoped there were no spiders in here.

[LilGirlLya]

Rachel must have searched all over the house and there was no sign of the little. After searching some of the more obvious places, she moved on to cleverer ones. She allowed herself to get a little frustrated and mentally prepared to scold Maddie as she looked into places that might be dangerous for the little to hide in. Still, her frustration went away as she looked in each and every one and did not find Maddie a single time. "Maddie," Rachel shouted. "You can come out, you won!"

[groveoflove]

Fern grinned, wiggling free from the corner, briefly stumbling over the mop he’d moved before. He got up, looking himself over before figuring he was fine, other than bumping his knee. He scooted on out of the bathroom, before trying to sneak up on Rachel to surprise her (though it was likely in vain). “Boo! I got you! I won!” He laughed. “You didn’t even look in the bathroom!”

[LilGirlLya]

"I hear a certain little girl," Rachel whirled around when Maddie attempted to surprise her. "There's Maddie! I guess it's too late to say I found you though, isn't it?" Rachel scooped Maddie up into a big hug. "You've never went into the bathroom, I never would have thought you'd think of that! You're a good hider baby! OK, are you as good of a seeker though? Close your eyes, count to 100." Rachel sneaked away, moving a quietly as she could. She could probably find a really good hiding spot where Maddie wouldn't be able to find her, but it would be more fun to be caught. Rachel found her way to the dining room and hid behind the curtains. She wouldn't be visible at a glance but if Maddie got to inspecting she was sure to find her.

[groveoflove]

“You gave up so you can’t. No take backs.” Fern didn’t quite hug Rachel back, but he was in a good mood, and feeling relaxed enough to lean into her hug, before she let go. He turned around to close his eyes, staring to count out loud. Which was much more boring than hiding, but easy enough. “Okay, 100!” He started on his search, checking the living room first. But Rachel didn’t seem to be there, and there wasn’t a lot of hiding spots he could see her fitting in. He wandered over to the dining room next, very carefully looking behind the china cabinet before backing off. He whirled around, sparing a glance to under the table. Only the curtains were next, so he made his way over there. And once he was by the window, it was obvious where Rachel was hiding. “Found you!” He pulled back the curtain, too busy enjoying himself to care much that Rachel obviously didn’t seem to try hard to hide. 

[LilGirlLya]

"Boo!" Rachel exclaimed before bending down to tickle Maddie. "You might have found me, but I've got you!" Rachel tickled Maddie until she begged for her to stop. Both were laughing hard by this point. "OK baby, do you want to do another round or have lunch and your nap? I think you're a little rambunctious right now so I think I know which one you want, but think about the fact we can play hide and seek even longer after your nap. Your little tummy has to be getting hungry. What do you want to do Maddie? Today is my baby girl's day."

[groveoflove]

“I don’t want to take a nap, I’m not tired, I don’t need it.” Fern said immediately said, fluttering his hands up and down. He felt way too full of energy right now to even think of a nap. Though, he was a bit hungry now, admittedly. He’d mostly picked at his breakfast. “....Can we have lunch in the fort? And then watch another movie?”

[LilGirlLya]

"Of course honey. I don't see why not. Let me get you a bottle of formula and some lunch." Rachel picked Maddie up and carried her back into the kitchen, sitting her into her highchair momentarily. "We'll eat out in the fort, I just want to make sure I can keep my eyes on you. I'm going to make something for me too. Mommy's getting hungry and thinks she knows something good for both of us." It didn't take long before the smell of frying butter and a gentle sizzle filled the room as Rachel cooked two grilled cheeses on the stove. She took the slightly more burnt one for herself and made Maddie's special. Cheese stretches were always nice and really helped 'make' the sandwich so Rachel cut the bread into four triangles before reassembling them in the shape of the original bread and putting the cheese down. It was clumsy to get in but once in the pan the cheese seeped enough to help reconnect the pieces of sandwich into a whole. When it was finished it looked like a regular grilled cheese, but Maddie would get a stringy, stretchy amount of cheese as she ate it. It was a fun trick she'd picked up from her parents as a kid. Rachel got herself a glass of water and prepped Maddies formula. She let her eyes drift to the top of the refrigerator. 'If Maddie keeps making progress, maybe I could start taking those vitamins?' Maddie wasn't trusting enough to nurse yet and Rachel looked forward to when she was. Today showed her it might actually be in sight. She was trying to let Maddie be a tomboy today but unfortunately all of her little plates and silverware were pink and girly. Oh well, if this wasn't a passing thing and Maddie wasn't a girly girl she could find a way to get rid of it. 'Brie maybe'? It was pretty babyish and might be too small for the toddler sized little, but May said she was a girly girl and May might enjoy not having to buy temporary little sized cutlery. "OK sweet heart, I got our stuff. Grilled cheese and little formula for you kiddo, and grilled cheese and water for me. Now lets get back to our fort and eat." She let Maddie down and handed Maddie her plate.

[groveoflove]

Fern was bored sitting in the highchair as he waited, absentmindedly swinging his legs back and forth. Especially because he didn’t know why Rachel couldn’t trust him out on his own for a few minutes, he’d given up trying to make escape attempts by the time she’d adopted him. Maybe she just thought he’d get into something she didn’t want him in. But as bored as he was, the wait wasn’t too long and the grilled cheese did smell good too.

Once Rachel handed him the plate, he tried his best to be careful dropping it. It was a silly small thing, but being able to carry his own dish felt a bit more mature then what Rachel usually did, and he didn’t want to ruin it by dropping his food. Plus, Rachel might be upset over it. Once at the fort, he placed his plate down on the ground till he found a spot that was comfortable before picking it back up. “I haven’t had grilled cheese in a long time.” Fern admitted, waving his hand over the plate to cool the sandwich down before he started eating it. “Rhoswen, my brothers’s mom used to make it, but I didn’t visit there that much.” He took a small nibble out of the sandwich, before pulling one of the pieces apart just to watch the cheese stretch.

[LilGirlLya]

"Well I hope you like mine. That's real cheese too. I know the processed kind tends to be a bit more mild but I think if you could handle the pizza and not get sick, you'll be OK with some actual cheese on there. You know Maddie, I don't know if there's a better rainy day food. And I don't know anybody big or little I'd rather be eating it with. You've been a really good girl today, I've liked seeing you smile." Rachel was surprised to hear Maddie mention her family, she hardly ever did. "Do you miss anyone back home? You don't talk about them much."

[groveoflove]

“It’s good.” Fern answered, nibbling at another piece. It was still a bit weird to have actual meals around the same times every day, no skipping or anything. Probably why he wasn’t so scrawny anymore. He smiled a bit as Rachel commented on it, though it faded once she mentioned his old home.

He shrugged, looking down at his plate as he picked at the next piece. “...My brothers, I guess. But I already hadn’t seen them in a long time, they’re older with jobs and stuff.” Not a lot of time to go back to some tiny ass town you hated to visit your kid ‘sister’ who wasn’t even your full sister. And that meant having to see their dad who’d they’d voluntarily hadn’t seen in years. “What’s the point in missing anyone anyway? Not like I’m ever seeing them again.” Fern said quietly, keeping his eyes down on the plate.

[LilGirlLya]

"Oh, I'm sorry baby, that's clearly a raw nerve. I don't have a problem with us maybe finding a way for you to contact them if you wanted to. You aren't the only little to get stuck here. Used to be, bigs didn't want you to be in touch with your old life, it prevented them from turning you into complete little babys. But I didn't want just any baby, I wanted a Maddie who even though shes a baby also has big girl thoughts and likes scary movies. It might take some work, but we could make it happen. You're my family now, so eveyone important to you is my family too. That's how this works. That means May is your family, and my sister Rachel you haven't met yet. Eventually we're all planning on getting together with your new grandparents before I have to go back to work. Brie seemed pretty fond of you too while you were playing yesterday. I'm sure even after she went back she'd like to be your family too. All I want is you to be the happiest little you can be."

[groveoflove]

“I don’t want them to see me like this, I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” Fern said, sounding upset, as he placed his plate back on the floor. Rachel could say whatever she wanted, but it was just all words in the end. People lied or changed their minds all the time, or just got sick of others. Rachel was nice now, way nicer than any of the other amazons he met or even the people back home, but she could always change her mind. “Can we talk about something else?”

[LilGirlLya]

"Sure, we can talk about other things..." Rachel trailed off a bit. "I'm sorry I got you upset. You might have thought of this, I don't know, but it might help to have someone to talk to. As much as I want to be the kind of Mommy you want to tell everything to, I know that might not be easy for you. Maybe next time you see her you could talk with Brie? She's from your world, she might understand things I can't. I won't talk about it anymore today though unless you want to. We can push your nap back today and watch another movie, but after that you need your nap or else you'll crash early and wake up before me tomorrow or you'll take it too late and wont want to go to sleep tonight. I don't know about you but I'd rather spend as much of my day as possible doing stuff than sitting in a crib waiting to get let out. I'll clean up our plates, find something you like for us to watch. I don't think you need to watch a scary movie before your nap but anything else is good."

She'd clearly touched a nerve. Maddie clearly had issues with her family. She wondered if maybe she didn't know because she wasn't Maddie's first care giver? She had info on failed prospective parents but nothing from Maddie's home dimension. Either it was lost or Maddie just never talked. She might send Renee a text. If Maddie came from a bad household maybe that's why she has been so slow to trust. Truthfully it wasn't the first time Rachel had entertained the idea that Maddie might come from some form of abuse, neglect, or abandonment but previously she had no reason to suspect that is was more likely to come from her world as it had been a product of multiple amazons taking and returning her. That rejection really could damage anyone, especially a little. Rachel finished cleaning the plates and pan and returned to the fort with a new sippy cup of water for Maddie. "Did you find anything good, kiddo?"

[groveoflove]

“Maybe.” Fern answered noncommittally. He’d liked Brie but not enough to go blabbering about his personal issues, and she’d probably think it was weird too. Once Rachel left, he just distracted himself with scrolling through the movie options, trying to put the previous conversation out of mind. He had a weird tight feeling in his chest, and he wanted to plow right on by it.  Eventually he settled on another animal documentary, this one about that wooly mammoth Rachel had said they’d managed to bring back. He was interested about that topic.

”This one. Do they have any woolly  mammoths at the zoo, or are they too big?” Though woolly mammoths were about the same size as African elephants, he’d never know here. Maybe animals were a lot bigger. He took the sippy cup, focusing on drinking some of it as he fidgeted. “....Sorry for getting upset.”

[LilGirlLya]

"Good choice, getting ready for tomorrow huh?" Rachel chuckled, "well, at least you'll have animal dreams and not scary ones. We do actually. It turns out they are most similar to Indian elephants so we used them to bring them back. So our mammoths are actually a touch smaller than the ones from Africa, but they look just as big with all the fur." She brushed Maddie's hair and pulled her close, "Oh, it's OK Maddie. Thank you for apologizing but you don't need to. I know it's probably a complicated topic for you. If you ever do want to talk about it we can but I won't push you. I don't know what kind of life you had back there, but as long as I have anything to say about it, we're going to do everything we can to make the one here even better."

After starting the documentary, Rachel took out her phone and sent a message to May. "Weather looks good tomorrow for the zoo. I think Maddie's excited even if she doesn't want to show it. She's watching mammoth show in our 'fort'. Rachel opened up her phone inside the text message to take a picture of the fort and Maddie from behind without her knowledge.

[groveoflove]

“Okay.” Fern said, sounding unsure. He wasn’t planning on taking Rachel up on her offer, but he guessed it was kind of nice to hear. He was much more relieved though once the conversation died down, and he could focus on the documentary. It was pretty interesting. He knew there had been talk of trying to clone woolly mammoths in his world, because they actually had frozen whole specimens of them, but science was nowhere near as advanced yet. So it was really cool to be somewhere that actually HAD reached that point. “Do people still kill elephants here for ivory? And sharks for their fins?” Fern paused, placing down his sippy cup once it was empty. He already had to go again, being so much smaller here definitely had made his bladder smaller, and he’d usually hold it for longer, but.....was there really a point by now? Wasn’t like he was getting out of diapers any time soon. Maybe Rachel had a point. He sighed, trying to concentrate on the movie, as he began to relax his bladder. Once he started going, it was much easier, but still just as embarrassing feeling it start to soak his diaper.

Trying to distract himself from that, he looked back up at Rachel. “How long are we going to spend at the zoo tomorrow?” Because he definitely didn’t want to lose time because of an afternoon nap.

[LilGirlLya]

"They used to, some people probably still do unfortunately, but the numbers go down every year. Their populations got pretty low a few decades ago, but they're back where they were before the planet industrialized. I'm pretty sure it's been illegal to have ivory as long as I've been alive, and thanks to laws, reintroduction, and artificial meat I hadn't heard anything about killing sharks in a long time. When a not insignificant part of the population are effectively little children forever, it means a lot of people here anything bad that happens is going to be their problem but they won't be able to fix it. I don't know a lot about your world, but from what I do know, we take taking care of the vulnerable a lot more seriously here." Rachel opined. It seemed funny talking about such big topics with such a little person, but Maddie was a special little.

"We can stay as long as we need to honey. I think you'll probably still need a nap but for both our sake I was going to bring your stroller tomorrow. No need to leave if we can just park somewhere and let you get some rest. You might end up having to share it, I think May is having Brie take naps because of the time difference here so she might end up needing to borrow your stroller to sleep in. That shouldn't be a problem should it? It'll just give you some walking time and if you little legs get tired I can carry you."

When the documentary ended, Rachel ambled out of the fort and stretched a bit. "OK little one, you've begged it off long enough. It's time for a certain baby girl's nap time. Come on, lets get you ready." Rachel walked Maddie to the gate and hoisted her up to go when she felt the seat of Maddie's diapers feel a little squishy and damp. "Oh baby, what a good girl. Using your diaper without a fuss, I'm so proud of you. You leaked a bit on your overalls though. Don't worry about that, Mommy will take care of those." Upstairs Rachel unbuckled Maddie from her overalls and sat her on the table. The little girl had peed quite a bit but hopefully that would mean she'd wake up dry. "OK sweetheart, legs up." Rachel wiped and cleaned her baby before deciding to 'chance it' and taping her into a fresh new day time diaper. She gently lowered Maddie into the crib and kissed her on the forehead, "see you soon", before shutting off the light and going to start washing Maddie's little overalls to get the stain out and hopefully give them enough time to dry so she could put Maddie back in them when she woke up.

[groveoflove]

“People didn’t really care about other groups of people there.” Fern admitted. It still felt immature but he was getting more and more excited about the zoo tomorrow. And it looked like he wouldn’t even have to be in the stroller most of the time, he could walk. Leaking on his overalls was embarrassing though, he thought Rachel had just been teasing about him being an apparent heavy wetter. He hadn’t even noticed he’d leaked till she pointed out. “.....See you later.” Fern watched her go before laying down, vaguely upset he hadn’t remembered to grab Hashbrowns from the fort. Too late now though. He sighed, rolling over to his side, closing his eyes. And despite his earlier protests, he was out like a light within minutes.

And in the end, it wasn’t the horror movie that gave him the nightmares, it was the stupid talk about his old family that did it. Which was nothing new, most of his nightmares were about his dad, but this one felt so so much more real. Like he was right back there in that day, in their tiny kitchen, and his dad had stopped him on his way out. All because he’d been so stupid, and had told Lacie that he didn’t want to be a girl, because he’d been dumb enough to think that them being friends and Lacie being gay meant something. But she’d just laughed it off, and blabbered to everyone else, which was bad enough, but of course his dad had to find out. And he’d been so angry, and had grabbed his shoulder, and-

Fern woke up with a jolt of terror racing through his body, his heart pounding. He was shaking all over, his breath hitching in his throat, his hands darting up to his face. Numbly, he registered that his cheeks were wet, but he didn’t remember when he’d started crying, if it had been before or after he woke up.

[LilGirlLya]

Rachel had been enjoying a nice hour to herself, just doing the daily chores that needed to be done to keep the house looking nice. Thankfully Maddie must have wet her diaper pretty recently because the stain hadn't set. A quick wash in the sink and a tumble through the dryer and she'd be all set to keep playing in her overalls. Maddie usually was quiet during her naps, whether that was because she was sleeping or just being silent when waiting for Rachel to come get her. Still, Rachel always had Maddie's baby monitor just in case. Today was the first 'just in case.' At first it sounded like some soft whimpering, maybe Maddie having a nightmare? It turned into full on crying though and Rachel snapped to attention and bolted for the steps, practically vaulting over the little gate and thundering into the room. She burst into the door, fearing that Maddie was hurt somehow and was surprised to see her girl, sitting in her crib and sobbing. She hadn't fallen and she didn't appear to be hurt. As soon as it registered this wasn't physical, what ever it was, Rachel swooped in and pulled Maddie tightly to her. "Maddie baby, what's wrong?" While Maddie struggled to get the words out, Rachel found her pacifier and stuck it in Maddie's mouth, letting the rhythmic sucking calm her baby down while she rocked her, kissed her head, and 'sushed' her, trying to get her baby's crying under control. Rachel didn't know if this was good of bad and it gnawed on her, but at least unlike with a real baby or a fully regressed little, when Maddie calmed down she could tell her. Did the scary movie give her a nightmare? Maybe something they talked about? Gas? She checked Maddies diaper, just a little bit of peepee, poor girl got most of it out before bed but probably leaked a bit from crying. Rachel held her girl tightly until her cries subsided.

[groveoflove]

“No!” Fern jerked back as panicked as he was at Rachel’s sudden arrival, flinching as she scooped him up. He struggled for a minute or two, before he could calm down enough to realize she wasn’t holding him tightly or shaking him. As his initial panic began to die down, he was horrified to find himself crying in front of Rachel, but he couldn’t get himself to stop. He bit down hard on the nub of the pacifier in place of one of his fingers, before he began sucking at it. But he was still shaking, even as he tried to stifle his cries. He dug his nails against his other arm, trying to force himself to focus enough to calm down. “I-I’m sorry-“ Fern managed to get out, finally succeeding in beginning to cut his sobs off, though he was still trembling.