Little Kylie (private)

[baby valeria]

I was still a tiny bit upset over it as i let you brush my hair not wanting to fight about it as i say "w...what if it happens again or that i wouldn't know that i needed to go and i just wet myself" i don't look at you as you brush my hair out.

[Chicago_daddy_84]

"Are you worried about that happening Kylie?" He continued to brush. He read in her more recent journal entries that it had been happening more often, but he wanted to hear what she had to say. "If you are worried about the diapers...I won't have you wear one unless I think you really need it...I feel bad about yesterday."

[baby valeria]

"i just worry that i might wet myself and not know it happened or if i don't make it to a bathroom in time" i try not to get worked up over this as i look up at you.

[Chicago_daddy_84]

"Well we will try and get you to a potty okay... worrying about it will only make it worse. Did you go potty yet this morning?" He continued to brush her hair as she seemed to like it.

[baby valeria]

I don't remember if i used it this morning i look back at you as i stay close to you while you finish brushing my hair.

[Chicago_daddy_84]

"Okay well we'll go try here in a minute." He finished brushing her hair and smiled down, gently pulling her up into his lap. "Are you okay?" He rubbed her back. "Do you feel hungry?"

[baby valeria]

"i guess im okay' i look back at you alittle as i rest my head against your chest while i hear you talk.

[Chicago_daddy_84]

"Yah?" He felt like she just needed some closeness. He hugged her lightly. "I feel really bad about yesterday...I probably sound like a broken record. But I'm just glad you're okay...I felt really sad when I was reading about..." Jeff continued on talking... he got the feeling she didn't care to talk, so he just talked to her...not expecting her to talk. 

[baby valeria]

I listen mostly as i eventually say "what did you think about my journal its probably stuff you didn't exactly think you would read about and i...im sure you probably have alot of um questions about things" i look up at you again.

[Chicago_daddy_84]

"Yah, I felt really sad like I said. It sounds like you just felt like no one cared about you or for you. I remember reading so many time that you just wanted to be held...and told I love you. Does it feel good being held now?" He smiled a bit as he snuggled her. 

He wanted to ask how she had been abused but he thought he'd ask a few other things first to ease her into it.

[baby valeria]

"I guess it feels okay doesn't seem much difference if im hugged or not since i grew used to it and the only reason my parents act the way they do is cause of how they missed out on being there for me the times i got taken away from them but i guess it doesn't matter since they are probably gonna come find me and take me back home or something." i sigh a bit thinking i didn't feel like cuddling anymore as i just wasn't used to it at all.

[Chicago_daddy_84]

"Mhmm...can I ask you what happened when you were touched by your baby sitter? It's okay if you don't want to talk about it...I just know your parents didn't believe you, but I want to hear your story if you want to tell it." Jeff hoped he approached it in the right way. He looked at her as she sat in his lap, not knowing if there was more to the story than her journal said.

[baby valeria]

"Well um my parents got a new babysitter for the night they were going out to some business dinner and i didn't know it was gonna be a male babysitter cause i was used to having female ones and while being left alone with him everything was okay up until i had to go to bed was when things got weird and he started to touch me and i was scared i didn't know what to do. I tried to get away but he would me too quick for me and he would put his hand between my legs and then take my hand and put it on his crotch as we would say dirty things he wanted to do to me."

I don't look up at you as i tell you what happend as i try not to get worked up about it or to think about it as i sat there in your lap still.

[Chicago_daddy_84]

"Oh no Kylie...I'm so sorry...how old were you?" He rubbed her back a bit comforting her. "I'm so sorry no one believed you. I believe you."

He sat with her incase she wanted to say anything else or sit with him longer. He'd let her tell him when she was ready to get up.

[baby valeria]

"I was i think about 9 or 10 years old i can't really remember how old i was but when i tried to tell my parents when i heard them come home i tried to go to them as the babysitter scrambled to get out of my room and threatend me not to tell anyone but i tried anyway but my parents didn't listen to me but listened to the babysitter cause he said it was just a silly game we were playing."

[Chicago_daddy_84]

"Kylie I'm so sorry." He just rubbed her back as he let her tell her story. "He didn't come back did he?"

[baby valeria]

"My parents hired him again cause they some how really liked him even after i tried to tell them what happend it made no difference i was scared about it but nothing helped until the school got involved at one point but since then i never would go to anyone about anything cause no one would of believed me anyway"

[Chicago_daddy_84]

Jeff was worried this sitter more than touched her. This did seem to be around the time she started to wet the bed according to her journal. He felt like it was all connected. He didn't ask directly. "Is there anything else you want to tell me?" He held her a bit with a slight hug.

[baby valeria]

"Why couldn't my parents just be there when i needed them growing up i used to blame myself like i did something wrong for this to happen that i got taken away from home alot and how the babysitter did sexual things to me that i started to bleed from my private area, i was really scared i didn't know how to tell anyone about it" i could feel my eyes get watery like i wanted to just cry but didn't know if i had it in me to still cry about it as its been going on for the longest time.

[Chicago_daddy_84]

Jeff just held her. "I'm sorry that you had to go through all of that crap...and that I was such a jerk to you yesterday." He sat with her for a moment.

"I see now why you wanted to go out and do your own thing... you just want to forget about all of that stuff from your past... maybe I can help you find a job and get a place out here... would you like that?" He wondered what she really wanted.

Today she had seemed more like a child than and adult, but she did have a lot weighing her down emotionally. Could she really get by on her own, he wondered.

[baby valeria]

I sit there not really saying anything as your the first person who has actually heard me out when no one else did and now i just didn't know if i really was prepared to be on my own like i thought i was but now i was having second thoughts about it as i still struggle with trusting people that should of me been there to protect me then just practically abandon me.

[Chicago_daddy_84]

Jeff sees her deep in thought. "Hey it's okay...you don't have to decide right now...let's just try and do something fun to take your mind off things." He remembered about taking her to the bathroom as he stood up with her. "Maybe we should try and go potty before anything..." He took her hand and started her that way.

[baby valeria]

"But i don't really need to go potty" i suddenly blushed at how i said it as it made me sound like a little kid as i don't look up at you.

[Chicago_daddy_84]

"Well you've had a few accidents...I think it is best to try." He led her to the bathroom and without much thought started to undo her pants. He unbuttoned them then realized what he was doing. "You can do this..." He stepped back. 

[baby valeria]

I get quiet as i didn't want to fight about it and finished undoing my pants and slide my panties down and got on the toilet and tired to go but not much happened.