This and that

[Lil'PinkDi-dee]

    Toward the end of his life it was rumored that Saddam Hussein wanted to divorce his wife Sajida in order to marry Ruth, his high school sweetheart.  I think the reason he wanted to do that was because he was sick and tired of everybody calling him a ruthless dictator.                                                            

    This guy calls up the vet clinic and the conversation goes something like this: “Do you have shingles vaccine for the dog?”  The vet asked him why he thought his dog might have shingles.  The dog owner responded: “Because my dog keeps going roof, roof, roof”.  Ouch!
 

    This guy calls up his local hardware store, the conversation goes something like this:  "I bought this bird seed from you folks a while ago.  I planted it.  It's been in the ground about a month now, and still no birds have sprouted.  Did I plant it too deep?  Or perhaps did I over water it, or maybe didn't water it enough?  What did I do wrong?  DUH!!
 

    An old man lay dying in his bed.  He caught the faint smell of chocolate chip cookies wafting in from the kitchen.  Being too weak to stand up and walk, he rolled out of bed and started crawling toward the kitchen on his hands and knees.  When he got there, still on the floor, he reached up to the counter where the cookies were.  His wife slapped his hand and said:  “You leave those cookies alone now!  Shame on you!!  What’s wrong with you?  Can’t you see that I baked them special for the funeral luncheon?”

 

    While a local residential letter carrier was making his rounds, he encountered a man

sitting in a lawn chair in his front yard, with a dog sleeping on the ground beside him.  

The letter carrier asked: “Does your dog bite?”  The resident said: “No”.  With that the

letter carrier bent down to pet the dog.  When he did that the dog attacked him, biting    

his hand.  The letter carrier said: “I thought you said that your dog didn’t bite”.  The

resident said: “That is correct, however this is not my dog.  This dog belongs to my next door neighbor”.

 

 

 

[rusty pins]

Funny.  Just an FYI, there is a thread a few ones down here all about people who want to post bad jokes.  This might fit better there.

[dondd]

Definitely material for the Bad Joke thread!  Bad, yet still funny.  

[Lil'PinkDi-dee]

Yeah, I discovered that after I posted it.  I meant to put it in the bad jokes section and I'd move it if I could, however I'm not "tech savvy" enough to do that.  So if any of you administrators (or anybody else that knows how to move it) wants to move it, go ahead.