Family

[FretaBWet]

Recently my eldest daughter who I live not far from strongly suggested I open a profile on Fetlife. She suggested this because I haven't been on a date in the almost eight years since I moved to be near her and her family. she feels strongly that it's important in life to have relationships and sexual relationships are part of that need.

She knows that being transgender can be a lonely place because so much of the dating pool is off limits. It's like being unable to swim so you can only stay in the shallow end of the pool and that end is just a tiny fraction of the pool. Since I have my "original equipment" below the waist straight men are not available. Unfortunately, lesbians are off limits for the same reason. I find men can be attractive in many ways but I just am not turned on by a penis in the mouth or any other orifice for that matter so gay men are not a good fit. Pansexual or bi sexual women are a very small minority and you can't just hang out in bars asking people to fill out a sexual questionnaire. Thus a site with everything open and lots of open minded people so she saw this as a solution. I resisted at first because though I'm very open minded about most anything,I just felt that I was out on the fringes pretty far as it is.

My daughter persevered and offered to open a profile herself if I would, and she would friend me in support. It made it much more difficult for me to keep resisting. In the end I told her I would give it a try so she created a profile for herself and was having a lot of fun meeting other people in the community. I understand because I've been a member here for years and to some extent people here are family to me. Then I came to the nuts and bolts of actually creating a profile and there before me lay Pandora's Box. My daughter know I'm trans without the bottom surgery but she had no idea about my incontinence issues or my baby side. It really hit home when I started thinking of what I'd use as my nick on the site. I really wanted to use the same nick that I use here. My nick is more than just my identity, it's a statement of my freedom to be who I really am. It's the truth and how could I hide the truth in a place where you're meeting people for the purpose of getting to know others while they get to know me. I'm pretty sure you've already deduced the problem here. My daughter would friending me as an adult baby and diaper lover. Oh what tangled webs we weave. I wouldn't lie about who I was because I might as well not waste the time and energy. I decided there was only one way out, the operative word being out.

I created the profile knowing she would never see it and connect it to me because my avatar isn't a picture of me, it's a pic of my rhumba panties and a Bambino Bianco laid out on my bed.Either I would have to message her and send a friend request or she would have to wait for me to give her my nick so she could send me a friend request. That was the easy step. I sat down with my daughter and told her I had created a profile and she was happy and excited. I told her that I was more kinky then she would have ever imagined and my nick would give it away and my about me page would expand on that knowledge. I told her she had the choice to pass on friending me and we'd just keep thing compartmentalized or she could choose to learn about me. All of me. My brilliant inquisitive daughter chose knowledge. If I hit the lottery tomorrow it would be almost depressing compared to how it feels to know my daughter loves me unconditionally.

Hugs,

Freta

[lil_angel]

Welcome to FL...I've met some cool people there.

[FretaBWet]

Thanks lil_angel, you know how to find me.

hugs,

freta

[Bettypooh]

With tears of joy for you. So touching to have such a wonderful person in your life helping you move forward. Yes, were in the smallest 'group' but that doesn't mean there is nobody out there for us. You know my story and how it was just pure luck that I met someone who cared for me as-is. She was lesbian but open to TG's because her sexual orientation wasn't just about having sex, but about who she could relate to. She was quite FTM so that helped of course. It often seems we end up with our own kind like that- I know of a few LTR's where the roles are reversed giving an outward appearance of normalcy to the world who does not need to know the truth. And there's the rest, all across the spectrum. So don't give up or feel marginalized, you're a great person whether someone else considers you for a LTR or not; that will happen someday and than you can feel the fullness of your real self in a way that you may never have before. Go on, give life a try. If you don't find fun at least you'll find it less boring than before!

Bettypooh

[FretaBWet]

Thanks Bettypooh, that means a lot coming from you. I was married to an FTM for almost 15 years and his passing and my falling apart afterwards was what prompted my move here in the first place. He was a blind date, a mutual friend in the trans community put us together. It was perfect but nothing perfect can last forever. I still don't ever expect to find anything even remotely like what we had.

hugs,

freta