AB or DL with a partner

[Snugglebear]

G'day,

My wife and I are curious about the experiences of other couples. I'm primarily a DL with a smidge of AB and my wife is an active participant although it's not her fetish and she doesn't engage in diaper play if I'm not around. Suffice to say it's definitely sexual for us and it's not something that we play with outside of our marriage.

Over the years we've had the opportunity to meet people in couples and people who are single, ABs and DLs and people who are younger and older than us. We normally look for well adjusted adults that have a variety of common interests as that usually makes for the basis of a good friendship. Through these experiences we've become a bit soured by Adult babies especially ones that are single. The majority of Adult babies we've met have asked my wife to diaper them, tried to role play with her or even asked her to breastfeed them. Needless to say this is quite off putting for us. Even after explaining it is sexual for us she still gets these requests from ABs with the explanation that since its not sexual for them it's o.k. The other thing are the ones who all they can talk about is diapers, wanting a parent or who won't behave as an adult in public.The end result is we tend toward preferring to meet couples and DLs and get uncomfortable when approached by ABs, especially ones that are single.

We're curious as to whether other couples have had a similar experience or whether we've just been unlucky.

Snugglebear

[sarah_ab]

My boyfriend are in a similar boat. We have been together 7 years, but have never had the desire to meet other couples into this. I think because it is a sexual fetish, and we are not looking to include others in our sex life, we don't see the need to seek out others who also enjoy this as a sexual fetish. And as you said, there are many who do not understand that it is inappropriate to ask to be babied simply because it is not sexual for them.

[BabySammie]

I'm pretty new to this whole scene, as is my husband, but I agree with the previous posters. Since it's sexual for us, we have no desire to seek out other couples, or individuals who are interested in the same things. Our sex life is a very private thing, despite being interested in kinks or fetishes that are out of the norm.

[DLenforcer]

Through all of the partners that I have had, I can say we never "sought out" other couples (or people in general) who are into this kink. We have always just sought out "normal" people for friendships.

[Snugglebear]

Some good points have been raised and I wanted to take a moment and respond and provide some context. The downside of using a phone to respond is sometimes we dont take the time to ensure messages have the detail they should.

My background is in human sexuality. I studied psychology, did my honours thesis on human sexuality as part of a larger study done with Harvard, I've spoken at human sexuality conferences and gone to a variety of munches and other events. My wife less doesn't have quite the same background but still enjoys the conversations. We've met a wide variety of kinky people with a wide range of fetishes as well as non-kinky people. We don't restrict finding friends to just kinky people but we do find we enjoy meeting kinky people as they can share information on resources, different ideas and different perspectives. Kink adds a different dimension to relationships and it is interesting to us how people deal with and nurture that dynamic. Also its nice not having to worry about putting everything away when friends come over. This doesnt mean we have kink paraphenalia all over our house but sometimes things get forgotten and it prevents our more vanilla friends from an awkward situation. We are involved in a multitude of kinks (50+ to be conservative) so, to be clearer we in no way restrict ourselves to just the AB/DL kink when looking for friends. We have friends from meeting at squash, golf, card nights, crafting nights, wine club and more.

As for getting into the headspace, yes my wife and I have been there, tried it and found it isn't for us. That doesn't make it bad and we aren't judging someone for claiming it isn't sexual for them; however, sexual or not it shouldn't justify inappropriate adult behaviour. The point we were trying to make is we haven't seen DL's or people into other kinks trying to justify inappropriate requests or behaviour in the same way.

Lastly, we have meet some great people with a wide variety of kinks who behave in "normal" (ugh, I hate that word) ways. They are adult, respectful and behave appropriately and that includes a few ABs. Our question was not how to find kinky or non-kinky friends, we have enough, but rather what other people experienced. Whether other couples have found them self or their SO approached in the same way or whether we have just been unlucky with the ABs we have met over the years.

I really enjoyed reading your post DLenforcer it was articulate and you raised some good points. Yours are the kinds of posts we enjoy, thank you for your input.

[sarah_ab]

dude i studied psychology and did my senior thesis on specific disorders, no way in hell i'm gonna seek those people out specifically to be friends with.

[Snugglebear]

I'm not a mental health professional, psychiatrist, psychologist nor do I work in a related field. I'm a kinky person who developed an interest in various kinks while doing my studies and then further explored those interests in my personal time by going to munches, conventions and engaging people in open and honest communication. It is obvious you assumed I mix work and my private life which is 100% incorrect. That assumption lead to some wildly inaccurate statements. I'm actually a learning design specialist by profession. I spoke at conferences as an invitee as part of my personal life.

Your accusation that I seek kinky friends so I can study them is not only completely off base but also kind of insulting. I agree with you that professional and personal lives should be kept separate which is perhaps why I took umbrage at your remarks. Talking to people and asking questions is usually less inflammatory than making unfounded accusations.

Snugglebear

[sarah_ab]

wow some one got defensive...

[Bettypooh]

.... no matter your profession you need to spend time NOT doing it... .