I Am Undecided

[Dill_Pickle]

As usual, most posts on this thread concentrate on the negative side to diaper dependance - cost, hassle etc. These are very real, but there is another side that needs to be considered. What if, by making the decision to live his desires, the original poster saves himself years and years of the shame, guilt, self-question, confusion etc that so many of us experience. If, rather than spending the next decade(s) endlessly thinking about it, he just got on and experienced it, could not the net benefit be hugely positive?

I waited a long time before I met my wonderful wife. While others put energy into dating, I was always concerned about what a date would say. Being confused myself is certainly not the right frame of mind to start any relationship. If I was diaper dependant, would it have been any harder? Being at peace with oneself would probably make things easler and the right women isn't going to run away just because of diapers.

I used to obsess a lot about pacifiers, but didn't need them and felt guilty about sucking them (and the knowledge that it was only a fetish) Finally I concentrated on using one every night until it became a habitual thing... the guilt vanished, the need to hide them vanished, I accepted I was a pacifier user (and, as a side effect, a thumb sucker) and I was comforted by the knowledge that I was now what I had wanted to be since my childhood. These days... I don't sleep with my dummy every night. But I don't obsess about it - ever.

So maybe early experimentation can save years of soul-searching and pain, and let the OP get on with his life, either in or out of diapers?

Being at peace with yourself is the entire point....and, as a pragmatist, I have given myself permission to wear diapers or not, to use my dapers or not, according to my desires at the moment. This way I get the peace, and the benefits of wearing or not wearing diapers as my circumstances and momentary state of mind make seem best. Diapers too much work? Leave them home today, or just put them on later when you feel like it.

Refuse to feel guilty. Decide to relax and enjoy...this is how you are wired...and take care of yourself.

[rusty pins]

As usual, most posts on this thread concentrate on the negative side to diaper dependance - cost, hassle etc. These are very real, but there is another side that needs to be considered. What if, by making the decision to live his desires, the original poster saves himself years and years of the shame, guilt, self-question, confusion etc that so many of us experience. If, rather than spending the next decade(s) endlessly thinking about it, he just got on and experienced it, could not the net benefit be hugely positive?

I waited a long time before I met my wonderful wife. While others put energy into dating, I was always concerned about what a date would say. Being confused myself is certainly not the right frame of mind to start any relationship. If I was diaper dependant, would it have been any harder? Being at peace with oneself would probably make things easler and the right women isn't going to run away just because of diapers.

I used to obsess a lot about pacifiers, but didn't need them and felt guilty about sucking them (and the knowledge that it was only a fetish) Finally I concentrated on using one every night until it became a habitual thing... the guilt vanished, the need to hide them vanished, I accepted I was a pacifier user (and, as a side effect, a thumb sucker) and I was comforted by the knowledge that I was now what I had wanted to be since my childhood. These days... I don't sleep with my dummy every night. But I don't obsess about it - ever.

So maybe early experimentation can save years of soul-searching and pain, and let the OP get on with his life, either in or out of diapers?

Some very good points here and yes, you have to consider the pros along with the cons. You may find out that you are much more content and happy being in diapers full time 24/7/365 for the rest of your life. Then again, you may not. That's why I suggest to try 24/7 for at least 6 months as a trial period to see if your desires remain or if there are times when you find it really inconvienient to be in diapers and wish you didn't have to wear them all the time. That means durring the trial time you always wear your diapers everywear and never go without them no matter what the situation may be.

The one thing about Tadpole's post that I have highlited is something to think about. When Tadpole speaks about his obsession with pacifiers, he became a lot more comfortable and at peace with himself when he just decided to use a pacifier every night until he got used to it and comfortable with it and his guilt over wanting to suck a pacifier vanished. I'm not sure from his post if he sucks his pacifier just at night or in the day in front of other people. He also says that he dosn't use it every night but he dosn't obsess about pacifiers anymore either. This can be very helpful for you to make your decision about becomming incontinent. Tadpole has become more at peace with his desires by forcing himself to use a pacifier every night when he slept for months until he became comfortable with his decision. You also note that he says now he dosn't sleep with his dummy every night but dosn't obsess about it anymore either. That shows me it's very possible to enjoy your feelings and be comfortable with yourself without having to go 24/7/365 and no longer have a choice in the matter. Tadpole dosn't indicate that he has that pacifier in his mouth all the time every where he goes 24/7/365, and in fact says he dosen't even use it every night anymore. He makes some good points, and I may be seeing some of what he is trying to say in the opposite light here. Rather than just going 24/7 and making yourself incontinent, I see this as a way of trying it for a while, getting comfortable with who you are and getting rid of any guilt you may have by comming to grips with the fact that you like diapers and want to wear them. That dosn't mean you have to make yourself incontinent to do it all the time. You can do it whenever you feel like it but still have a choice not to wear when you don't feel like it or it's compromising and the situation would make it difficult to do so. That's basically what Tadpole did with his pacifier. He forced himself to use it every night to get comfotable, relieve himself of the guilt he felt over wanting to use it, come to grips with his desires and rid himself of his inhibitions over using a pacifier. Once he did that, he seems to feel he dosn't need his pacifier all the time but doesn't feel guilty and takes great comfort when he does use it. Also keep in mind that using a pacifier day after day is not a physical harm to someone's body. Even if you suck a pacifier 24/7/365 everywhere you go in front of everyone, you can still remove it from your mouth at any time in the future and return to your previous lifestyle. Once you make yourself incontinent, there is no going back, ever!

[Tadpole]

Some very good points here and yes, you have to consider the pros along with the cons. You may find out that you are much more content and happy being in diapers full time 24/7/365 for the rest of your life. Then again, you may not. That's why I suggest to try 24/7 for at least 6 months as a trial period to see if your desires remain or if there are times when you find it really inconvienient to be in diapers and wish you didn't have to wear them all the time. That means durring the trial time you always wear your diapers everywear and never go without them no matter what the situation may be.

The one thing about Tadpole's post that I have highlited is something to think about. When Tadpole speaks about his obsession with pacifiers, he became a lot more comfortable and at peace with himself when he just decided to use a pacifier every night until he got used to it and comfortable with it and his guilt over wanting to suck a pacifier vanished. I'm not sure from his post if he sucks his pacifier just at night or in the day in front of other people. He also says that he dosn't use it every night but he dosn't obsess about pacifiers anymore either. This can be very helpful for you to make your decision about becomming incontinent. Tadpole has become more at peace with his desires by forcing himself to use a pacifier every night when he slept for months until he became comfortable with his decision. You also note that he says now he dosn't sleep with his dummy every night but dosn't obsess about it anymore either. That shows me it's very possible to enjoy your feelings and be comfortable with yourself without having to go 24/7/365 and no longer have a choice in the matter. Tadpole dosn't indicate that he has that pacifier in his mouth all the time every where he goes 24/7/365, and in fact says he dosen't even use it every night anymore. He makes some good points, and I may be seeing some of what he is trying to say in the opposite light here. Rather than just going 24/7 and making yourself incontinent, I see this as a way of trying it for a while, getting comfortable with who you are and getting rid of any guilt you may have by comming to grips with the fact that you like diapers and want to wear them. That dosn't mean you have to make yourself incontinent to do it all the time. You can do it whenever you feel like it but still have a choice not to wear when you don't feel like it or it's compromising and the situation would make it difficult to do so. That's basically what Tadpole did with his pacifier. He forced himself to use it every night to get comfotable, relieve himself of the guilt he felt over wanting to use it, come to grips with his desires and rid himself of his inhibitions over using a pacifier. Once he did that, he seems to feel he dosn't need his pacifier all the time but doesn't feel guilty and takes great comfort when he does use it. Also keep in mind that using a pacifier day after day is not a physical harm to someone's body. Even if you suck a pacifier 24/7/365 everywhere you go in front of everyone, you can still remove it from your mouth at any time in the future and return to your previous lifestyle. Once you make yourself incontinent, there is no going back, ever!

Hum... I think what I'm trying to say is that, for some things, even years of on/off use are not enough to stop the guilt/shame etc. and the only solution is to actually get to a stage that has removed any choice from the equation.

For my long-wanted goal to be a *real* pacifier user, after a few months of concerted effort to use the pacifier every night, I no longer had to choose to use the paci in when I went to bed... it became something I did involuntarily. The day I realised that I had got into bed and popped it in my mouth without even thinking about it was a fantastic watershed for me, for I knew then that I was *really* a pacifier user, as opposed to the fake that I felt up until then. In my case the next few years I was as habitual a paci-user as someone who had been all their life - I got to know for real what it felt like to long for the paci, to feel withdrawl symptons when I didn't have it. I didn't feel I had to hide it, it was 100% part of who I was and I knew I wasn't faking it. (FYI, I only ued it at night - I didn't want to be an adult thumbsucker who sucked in the daytime, and was quite content with my status as a nighttime user. There was a period when I used my thumb at night mainly, but for many years it was simply the case that at night I always slept with a pacifier)

So what I am suggesting, is that for those of us who have been soul-searching for years about why we feel we need to wear diapers, the only solution might be to make the transition to actually needing them. I don't believe anything other than not having the choice will do. If I wear diapers for a week, I am still taping them on knowing that I don't really need them; I still feel guilty about doing it; I still try and hide it as I know that next week I might not be in diapers; If someone asks I know at best I will only tell them a half-truth about why I am wearing. Fast forward to a point where you *actually* need them because phyiscally or psychologically you are dependant (and you know it) and all those issues evaporate. And because they have become part of your life, the issues you have in your head are gone.

Many people ask if, once dependant, the whole pleasure of diapers goes too. People who I've spoken to have not found that at all - they still like wearing diapers even though they now have to - in fact I don't think I've chatted to a single person who went incontenent by choice who would rather not have done. (With the pacifier, it was the same for me: although I often didn't give sucking my paci a second thought when I went to bed, I got all the comfort and security from it that habitual people get, and I would often get a fuzzy warm sense of achievement when I reflected on the fact I was what I wanted to be.)

"Once you make yourself incontinent, there is no going back, ever!" - I don't think this is true... there are people who have achieved their aims but for whatever reason they've retrained of - even some after a decade or so. The piont is, they now know what it is like and that they can be like that if they want. I don't suck my paci much these days, but it is beside my bed and I know that if I wanted to I would revert to using it everynight... and I don't every feel shame or guilt about it anymore.

[Joebasic]

All I can add if this..

I have been DL all my life,

About 8 months ago I became incon due to a car crash and multiple surgeries and nerve damage.

Since then I hav to be diapered at ALL times.

Once I made the adjustment, It was no problem for me.

I easily spend about 200-250 per months on supplies. I use a lot of different diapers as different times require different absorbancy/protection.

I have leaned a lot and have adapted well.

I can say two things, the one positive thing about the car crash, is that it sent me into diapers permanantly and as much as I would have wanted to make myself voluntary incon, I most likely never have been able to make the committment. Having the choice taken away. I was forced to make the change.

If anything, being 24/7 has increased my DL. tendancies.

The pleasure is there 24/7. along with the diapers.

I just got out of the hospitol for another neck surgery...the hospitol was a breeze in diapers.

Yes, people in my life have discovered I need diapers. I dont advertise it, but i have no room in my life for shame and insecurity.

If anything, the diapers have become a source of pride for me. Each time I see myself in a diaper, feel the bulk, hear the crinkle of the plastic, I am aware of how well I have done to incorporate diapers into my life.

There are still hard times...including all of the things others have listed, but I can honestly say that after almost a year, I would never want to go back, even if it was an option/