Crying All The Time

[ragdollgirl]

I've been depressed and crying a lot because I want a mommy...I just have this SUPER intense need for a mommy to hold me, rock me, feed me, protect me, and that sort of thing--nothing sexual...I just want an "actual" mommy. I feel rather dumb, but I seriously cry about it. I'm a bit confused cuz I know I'm not a baby. Plus I didn't even know that there were other people/names for this (AB, DL, etc.)..so stumbling upon something like this is good!

I've felt rather like a baby for a while and same with wanting a mommy....it's just that the strong desire of needing a mommy has been way worse lately. My therapist knows...I've told her and I bring my doll and sometimes baby food when I see her...although I will probably tell her this week how much more intense it is and the feelings of depression around it. I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel discouraged and hopeless cuz I feel like it's a need that can't ever get filled. I even asked my therapist if she'd be me and my doll's mommy but she said no, which I knew she would, but I'm still sad about that, too, anyway. I snuggle with my doll and that helps me feel better, but I'm still sad and she needs a mommy too. I keep feeling like I can't live if I don't have a mommy, and I know that's stupid...I just try and distract myself from thinking that...but I've been thinking it a lot.

How do any of you deal with wanting a mommy (or if you want a daddy instead) super intensely but you can't have one? I don't know how to deal with the feeling anymore in positive ways. I can't make it go away..and I can't fulfill it either. I hope I find a mommy someday but I just dunno that it'd happen.

anyway..dunno what else to say about it. Oh, and by the way, my real/genetic mom isn't my mommy, if that makes sense..and she never can be. And I wouldn't want her to anyway. that's not an option.