How To Tell Others?

[brandi_seattle]

So long story short I had an untreated UTI years ago along and a more recent car accident have left me with some leaking, bladder pain/discomfort, and the ocational inability to make it to the bathroom in time. I currently live alone and wear diapers at home so I can actually relax and not worry about the issue. At the end of this month I will be moving back in with my mother temporaraly (maybe a few months). I'm trying to find the confidence to share this and have the conversation and a good way to start the conversation. I'm sure my mother has an idea of the issue because when I was 18 she washed my mattres cover and noticed the stains on it and asked if I wet the bed and I didn't answer out of imbarisment. Any advice is greatly appriated.

[Baby_Bing]

By all means, you can choose to ignore this but thought I would offer up a suggestion. Assuming your mother knows about the car accident I would just be honest about it. Try catching her at a quiet time when you are settled and just tell her openly and honestly about your situation. Confidence will be difficult but I think it would be alot harder to go around trying to hide it if you are wearing or worrying constantly about not making it.

As it is a geniune problem I don't think you will have to worry and your mum will no doubt support you. Good luck.

[Goodnitesboy12]

Well, if you need them. As long as you totally explain everything that's happened like you just did, I don't see a ton of issue unless she's really not understanding of your needs. Just be calm and explain everything the best you can to her. Good luck.

[Bettypooh]

Yes, you seem to have explained it well to us already so a similar approach should do fine. Especially if you have the usual close and personal Mom-to-child relationsghip going on Especially since this is a medical issue I'd think you'll find someone who cares and will be willing to help you get through this. One thing which you need to do before someone esle accepts you is to accept yourself. We're humans in frail, easily damaged bodies that sometimes don't work properly from the start. Yet we're all still humans, and we all want as good a life as we can achieve given our circumstances. I think that last line is universally understood. And most of us would prefer to limit any pain or suffering we may cause to those we truly care about to the smallest level we can manage for them. Sometimes that means telling them about something instead of having them discover it on their own. Discovery is always a shock and often leads to thinking there is more to it than there really is, and that is why careful revelation is a better approach. You'll be there to answer their questions and ease their mind that way.

There is nothing to be ashamed of here even though you have that feeling- you have to overcome that feeling with understanding and self-acceptance. You can have a very normal life dealing with incontinence and those who truly care about you will not let that overshadow the rest of you- there's a lot more to people than how their bodily functions occur. Incontinence can happen to anyone in an instant as it happened to you, nobody is immune. Everyone is just one injury away from it.

You know better than we do what might be the best time to approach this topic with her, and I'd suggest that you make a personal decision to do just that when the time is right. It takes some courage but I think you can do this, and I believe that once you open the subject you will find the depth of how much a Mom can truly care about their children- including you.

Bettypooh