Self Acceptance

[smixits]

Well, I'm sure such a topic has been discussed here in the past but didn't find anything recent in a search. I cannot explain it but I have such difficulty with self acceptance. Maybe that's not the right term, but what I mean is that I struggle with the fact that I have this fetish (as I'm sure others have).

It's odd, because I don't have any issues with other people's kinks, as long as its safe and consensual. Yet I have such issues coming to terms with my fetish. It's been something I've held as a secret since slightly before my teens and only recently did I get to a point to where I felt I could speak with some friends about it...which was more like beating around the bush and stammering a lot. They were not judgmental or anything, just not their thing obviously. So, nothing much there beyond a little relief of getting it out there so to speak, which was good in a way.

Then reading various sites on the Internet, like Fetlife, there are those who seem so comfortable with themselves and the fetish. Yes, obviously it's the Internet and there's a certain extent of anonymity but what's odd is I haven't ever really posted much or participated in many chats. Of course, that's partly due to the self acceptance issue as well as my fear of somehow being outed or otherwise rejected. Yes, the community seems to get a bad rap even from it's own sometimes - "oh he/she is a creeper and general lowlife, etc". So even if you find others interesting that you'd like to talk to, they tend to be clique-ish.

I've written all that as it hopefully will help me to get on the path to accept myself for who I am and at least make an effort to find other like minded folks to talk with/befriend, etc. Now that I'm reading back over this, obviously I have more than just self acceptance issues but I've gotta take baby steps right?

[Bettypooh]

I think it's always better to take things like this slowly You begin with making a discovery and it goes on from there- how far it goes can be a dilemna when you go too fast, with your actions out-running your thinking Self-acceptance is just that- admiting to yourself that you like something. That's all there is to it really, but most of us would lke to understand more, so we try to figure out what caused this in us. Sometimes that answer can't be found, or can only be partially found. Accept that- just as nearly everyone will like either chocolate ice cream or vanilla ice cream better, you simply like it that way- there's no reason for it and no reason is needed either Admit to yourself that this is wierd, because it is! But what's wrong with that? Would you rather find yourself compelled to wear a tin-foil hat to keep the aliens from getting you? So there's something good- nobody has to know anything about this and there are wierder things than wanting to wear diapers as an adult Find out exactly what you want from this. Explore there safely. Once you find what you like find a way to make it work in your life After that all you have to do is balance this in your life with all the other things that call for your attention. That can be tough, especially if someone else is in your life who does not know about this Part of this is in your control- what you do with it; and part of this is beyond your control- needing to do it. As long as you give yourself enough of what you need you'll be fine. If you want to try to fight it then go ahead, but if you can't stop (which most of us can't) don't feel bad about that- like your ice ceam choice this is just you, so forget about that and decide that you're going to enjoy some of that ice cream often enough to be happy, but not so often that it causes you other problems This is just you the way you really are and there's nothing wrong with that. The real problem is a society of people which often can't handle this well if at all. There's not much we can do about that except know what we're doing when that part of life comes into play.

I choose to be discreet, yet even then I've been outed a couple times by leaks and torn pants It didn't kill me or cause me other problems so perhaps we worry more than we should. Still, I'd rather be discreet to keep what I do from becoming an isue with the people in my life who don't need to know about this. I've ben 24/7 for a couple years now. I never thought I could do this. I never thought I'd need this. I never let it run away with me- I always thought my way through before doing anything, and it has worked for me. The only hurdle I have left is when I come across my next potential bed-partner. I'll deal with that then; many other people have done that so I can too. I'm happy and I'm not going to change that- and that's what self acceptance can do for you. It has to come before anyone else can accept this in you so head down that path of your life and see where it goes. If nothing else life is an adventure with something new around every corner, so go live, go love, and go enjoy the journey

Bettypooh

[diaperedspirit]

Be gentle with yourself. Self acceptance, no matter how much you want it, will take time and space. Sometimes will be easier than others, don't get discourage in the times it is hard to accept yourself. I've also been outed a couple of times, even though I try to be very discreet for a lot of reasons. It is no fun at the time but when the embarrassment faded, I was about to laugh about it each time. You are making your first steps on a journey and enjoy them. Don't fear mistakes we all make them, and most importantly be kind to yourself when you do make them. I wish you the very best as you go on your journey!

[happyindprs]

Take this simple advise, put yourself first. Don't get all wigged out on why you are attracted to diapers or what you think others might think about you once they find out. Ask any one of us here and we will say that is exactly what we have done for years. Worrying about what others may think or trying to measure up to someone else's expectations is not only impossible but won't make you happy either.

Put yourself first. Think of yourself first and figure out what makes you happy and stay the course. If you are happiest in a diaper then enjoy yourself. Afterall isn't that what we all strive for, the pursuit of happiness? There is enough crud going on in this world to worry about than something as minor as what you choose to wear under your clothes.

[lumpybritches]

you truly have to be true to yourself!! trying to hide things that make up who you are will only come back as a giant black monster later on!!! be honest with yourself first! then others!!!!

[PaddedPat]

Chin up, Bucko! The fact you've already divulged your secret to a select few and are engaged with this community is evidence that you're overcoming your self esteem hurdles. Remember: Everyone is wired differently, and there's really no one-size-fits-all template for self-acceptance. Frankly, as a chronic introvert, I find it very difficult to relate to some of the more vocal folks (as it appears you do), as I see it somewhat as a form of exhibitionism or posturing. Of course -- others would see my standpoint as judgmental and callous.

At the end of the day, you can't please everyone, so just focus on pleasing yourself. Developing one's self image is a lifelong "work in progress", and you might never be fully comfortable with fully disclosing your intimacies to everyone you encounter. Do what feels "right" to you, and - I promise - the acceptance will come in time.

Personally, I've only ever told about three people in my entire life of my diaper desires. All 35 years of it (as of 12am today...w00t!). Could I have opened up to more folks? Sure. Was I comfortable with that? Nope.

In the meantime, is it anyone else's business? HELLL no. And that's just hunky-dory to me.

[diggir]

I agree with Sandkat. Having the urge to wear diapers is one thing but when worn around a spouse it can make you feel guilty. In the past she has diapered me, thus getting her involved. On the other hand I tend to want to wear them more than she wants me to so I don't ask her if she will because I know she is not ok with it. I'm afraid she feels left out because it is an intimate act that I'm doing by myself. I keep telling myself that I'm going to ask her to do it more but I am a little embarrassed which makes it even harder. I keep hoping that she will see me in them enough to know how much it means to me and actually offer to help me without being asked. We could become even more close if she would want to do it. I'm afraid she is one of those people, if not totally repulsed by the idea of a totally continent person wearing and using a diaper, who thinks it is immensely unnecessary.