Dreaming About My First Love, Still After 7 Months

[lunatyke]

I can't stop focusing on him.... Everyday I think about him. I'll tell you the story:

I sware it was love at first sight.

We were in the cafeteria of McDaniel college, for Civil Air Patrol's National Honor Guard Academy.

I laid my eyes on this person and I had the impression he was going to be very important to me.

I was 17 at the time, and he looked to be about 20.

It was a casual encounter on facebook, just a "hello" and our conversation exploded into some sort of connection I have never felt before with another person.

And thus it went long distance for up to 7 months.

Here's where I made my first mistake....

He cheated on me.

That's right, he had sex behind my back. But the **** I was at the time, I waved it off and gave him a second chance... he claimed "You don't make that same mistake twice" And whenever he said "I'm sorry" it melted my heart...

I gave him a second chance. Then he broke up with me, telling me "the distance is too much for me... long distance sucks" But he was coming down to the inner harbor, which was 45 minutes away from me. I had a friend transport me up there, and then we had the bonding of a lifetime, holding one another. The sunlight rested on his face as he buried his head into my shoulder, with his eyes closed, with his chubby cheeks pressed into me, my heart sang.

He took me away from my abusive parents. His father and him came and picked me up and I lived with him for three months. I was head over heels in love the entire time. I made him breakfast, massaged his back, held him, and sexed him almost every day and night.

Then, 2 and a half months later, he breaks up with me.

I'm forced to live back home where I have a nervous breakdown. I lost my car, my jobs, my college education. I was admitted to a mental hospital for a suicide attempt.

After the suicide attempt I call him and talk to him, he tells me "Maybe its best if we just stop talking to each other"

I still miss everything about him. I miss his chubby cheeks, his button nose. I miss his cute little smile. I miss his honor guard uniform. I miss how he looks when he cries. I miss how he was the joker at every party. I miss his red hair.

Someone who cheated on me, broke up with me, cut off all contact with me, and I still miss every inch of him.

What should I do to forget about him?

[Diapered Jason]

That is a sad ending to a happy story and I respect you for telling it, because we care about you here. Clearly, the man you speak of was unprepared for the responsibilities of a relationship. It was not anyone's fault though. I can only guess when I say the compatibility was not there. It is, dare I say, "painfully" obvious though that you have been unable to move pass this. Unfortunately, I am not sure how to do this as I have never been in this situation before, but I would start by realizing that it is not your fault. You gave more than what was necessary to make that relationship work. Now it is time to move on. When you are ready, you will find another guy.