The Most Complete Journal To Urinary Incontinence

[AZbearlover]

This thread is about my journal of wearing 24/7 following the 12 month diaper training program with the intention of urinary incontinence (or close to). It covers every day of my journey to incontinence and provides daily statistics of diaper usage, leaks, and rashes as well as material costs and the physical and mental changes that have occurred as a result of constant wearing.

Why did I bother writing it?

As far as I’ve found while searching the internet, nothing has been so detailed or consistent and for that reason I think that my journal is the first of its kind.

Secondly, I’m firmly against causing permanent damage or harm to one’s body to induce incontinence. I read too many threads with people looking for an instant solution. I have to agree with the author of the 12MDTP that the fastest and safest way is to just start wearing like you’ve been incontinent all your life. Changes will occur naturally over time if you are serious and if you aren’t then you learned a hard lesson that you wouldn’t have been able to learn if you permanently damaged your body.

Disclaimer

Please note, this isn’t PG-13. It talks about peeing, pooping, sex, my genitals, etc. I am also gay and involved in a long-term m2m relationship which I talk about quite often.

I do plan on selling this journal eventually as either an e-book or a website with login credentials ($5 dollars for unlimited updates to the newest pdf).

How did I come up with the decision to sell it?

Part of the reason is that the lifestyle is very expensive. Some months I have spent upwards of 200-400 on supplies and that is with constant shopping around for deals. More importantly, my journal is (currently) 3 months old and already has 140 pages in it. If I had to guess I’ve spent at least 72 hours writing, editing and revising it so that it’s an optimal read. Five dollars from each reader will help cover the time I’ve spent perfecting this and the research it contains. And really $5 for unlimited access to updates is cheaper than one fast food meal!

If people are interested in getting the most up-to-date version now, private message me and we can work something out. My intention is to fully release version 1.0 when I reach 12 months (around 4/2012). I also plan to have the package come with a condensed version as well as the unabridged version. My journal is quite long and I plan to break down the changes I’ve experienced down into bullet points over the months rather than having to read through my day to day affairs as some people will prefer that.

Some days my unabridged journal reads like a lab journal with sterile facts about what happens, but more often I talk about my day, my relationship, and my emotions.

I can’t make any guarantees that I will make it to 12 months. This journey hasn’t been a black and white 100% fun and exciting experience. It is very hard to keep at it and I’m faced with the decision to stop wearing diapers at every turn.

Why post this now if it isn't complete?

I noticed this forum has been very inactive recently and many of the threads that pop up are about self-harm. I want to show people that the 12MDTP can and does work and encourage its use if you seek wearing 24/7.

For those interested in purchasing this, I offer a 100% refund if you aren’t satisfied or if the journal isn’t what you thought it would be. To give everyone an idea of some of my writing styles, I’ll occasionally post free entries below as I continue writing them.

Lastly I want to thank everyone who has provided support so far. This has been a tough but rewarding journey and I couldn’t have done it without the community’s help.

[AZbearlover]

Prologue - 4/12/2011

On the forums I am known as AZbearlover. As of this initial entry, I am 22.

I was born and raised on the east coast and moved to Arizona four years ago, which is not very conducive to wearing diapers as you may have guessed, but I have had this fetish since I was 2 or 3 and a little heat won't scare me off. I remember stealing diapers in my house and wearing them and peeing in them almost as soon as I was potty trained. I started wearing recreationally as early as 13. I walked to a grocery store and bought my first pack of Depends Maximum Protection with cash. It was probably the most humiliating event of my life to that point, but many benefits were reaped from that small sacrifice and ultimately it has led to the path I walk today.

I began wearing more often in the last year but worked in a position which prevented me from wearing because of tight-fitting uniforms and being very active. I recently (this week) had a transition between jobs and now have a desk job, which makes it much easier to wear.

My current stash is about 70 small Molicares and two cases of medium Medline diapers that are paper thin. I also have a variety of other diapers in smaller numbers. My favorite diaper has to be Bambino or Tranquility ATN, but I am getting a pretty good deal on the Molicares so I am sticking with them for now.

I have a husband, whom I’ve been with for 3 years, who has supported but not partook in my fetish. Yesterday I sent him the 12 month diaper training program PDF (from now on it referenced as 12MDTP) and told him I wanted in. I wouldn’t get a better opportunity because my new boss doesn’t know what underwear I wear.

My husband didn’t understand my desire for incontinence and found it to be self-handicapping, which it is. I don’t really understand my desire either, but I find that living hedonistically is better than living conservatively, at least when it doesn’t hurt anyone else. My husband said that it was my choice and that it wouldn’t bother him as I already wear quite often. So I chose to move forward.

My goal is to provide a well documented journal of my attempt at losing urinary continence. There is a lot of literature from the community, but most seem to drift off into oblivion after a week or two. I’m not promising that I can sustain nightly updates or that I will make it to urinary continence, but I want to keep everyone informed of the mental and physical changes that I will go through as I move forward for as long as I continue with this experiment.

The decision has been made. It is something I have wanted since I was potty trained and now I have the financial backing as well as the controlled environment for doing so. While it won’t deter me from starting this lifestyle decision, I have some trepidation. My desk is next to my boss’ desk and it’s quite possible he will find out. I don’t know how bad continual wearing affects odor, but I need to make sure that I stay clean smelling so that I don’t encroach on his olfactorial space. Additionally, despite its deep roots, my desire for diapers is fetish derived. When I orgasm, I lose the desire to wear temporarily. You’ll read more about this in my logs, no doubt.

Without further to do, this is the ebb and flow of my journey to incontinence.

[gotdiapers]

I see you have lots of usless time on your hands huh....well good luck.

Maybe a weight lifting progress journal or a lower your cholesterol blog would be more helpful for people....but each his own.

[diapertime42]

Will I be able to buy it at Barnes & Noble?

[bookem]

I see you have lots of usless time on your hands huh....well good luck.

Maybe a weight lifting progress journal or a lower your cholesterol blog would be more helpful for people....but each his own.

gotdiapers: Wow, that's quite the supportive attitude to have! Damn, didn't your mom/dad/authoritative figure ever tell you that "... if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all..?" Whats your passion? Collecting stamps, building miniature railroads, working out in the gym? Whatever it is, someone could see it as a waste of time, but its something you enjoy, so why not? But hey, to each his own...

To the OP: Good luck! I hope you find it's everything you want it to be and more! I commend you on your courage to embark on such a journey.

[gotdiapers]

Lol..I said good luck...lol.

Also im not trying to sell my people a blog about my stupid hobbies. I keep them to myself.....because your correct...no one wants to hear about them.

[belinda_sue_fox]

Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

On consulting the great oracle of online blogs and journals it's predicted a flurry of entries the first week with a near total drop off to diddly within a month.

[Frink]

Posting a daily journal may get a little tedious for you; I'd recommend you set a weekly or biweekly schedule and stick to it, instead of burning yourself out. And if you decide to stop the 24/7 incontinence training, I'd certainly appreciate it if you could write up a 'why I stopped/how far I got' kind of entry.

[AZbearlover]

I see you have lots of usless time on your hands huh....well good luck.

Maybe a weight lifting progress journal or a lower your cholesterol blog would be more helpful for people....but each his own.

...

Lol..I said good luck...lol.

Also im not trying to sell my people a blog about my stupid hobbies. I keep them to myself.....because your correct...no one wants to hear about them.

I wouldn't call it useless. Everyone has hobbies and two of mine are diapers and writing. Why not combine them? Many people are searching for journals on here about 24/7 living and there are very few complete journals.

While I understand incontinent people aren't my target audience, I respect all people's personal hobbies and differences and I only ask for the same in return. You might be surprised to find that people do want to hear about your hobbies. That's how books are written. If people didn't write about their hobbies, we wouldn't have libraries full of guides, stories (real and fiction), and bibliographies.

Will I be able to buy it at Barnes & Noble?

I wouldn't say it's Barnes & Noble material hehe

gotdiapers: Wow, that's quite the supportive attitude to have! Damn, didn't your mom/dad/authoritative figure ever tell you that "... if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything at all..?" Whats your passion? Collecting stamps, building miniature railroads, working out in the gym? Whatever it is, someone could see it as a waste of time, but its something you enjoy, so why not? But hey, to each his own...

To the OP: Good luck! I hope you find it's everything you want it to be and more! I commend you on your courage to embark on such a journey.

Thank you. I certainly agree we can't all share interest in the same hobbies and that's what makes everyone unique even if they disagree about things. I appreciate the good luck wish. As I said it's been challenging and rewarding but I've had definitely come a long way from the start and writing in out the journal has really helped me realize just how subtle a lot of these changes are.

Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

On consulting the great oracle of online blogs and journals it's predicted a flurry of entries the first week with a near total drop off to diddly within a month.

There are indeed quite a lot of 24/7 blogs and journals that drop off to diddly within a month but even if I posted one entry a day online (which I'm not planning on doing), that would still be 3 months worth of reading material. I sense the great oracle of online blogs may have faltered in his consultation.

Posting a daily journal may get a little tedious for you; I'd recommend you set a weekly or biweekly schedule and stick to it, instead of burning yourself out. And if you decide to stop the 24/7 incontinence training, I'd certainly appreciate it if you could write up a 'why I stopped/how far I got' kind of entry.

Thank you for the tips and kind words. I'm not planning on posting every entry, I'll just post some occasionally to let people know how I'm doing. Over the past 3 months, I've developed quite a strong habit of writing in my journal and while some days are tedious to write about as there is nothing to report, I tend to keep them short and then write more when I have something important to talk about.

As for deciding to quit, as my journal highlights, often I face the decision a lot when considering things like how active I am (I've hiked 13 miles just this week), but so far I've found myself becoming more dependent on diapers physically and mentally and really haven't looked back. As a matter of fact I just found a deal on craigslist where I bought 36 packages of Molicare for 2 dollars each (a family didn't need them anymore), so I hope I don't decide to quit anytime soon or I won't know what to do with them all!

[247dlwear]

ebook on amazon?

[AZbearlover]

Haha I don't think I'll put it on Amazon. I'll just create some posts when the full book is ready and let people know that they can purchase it if they are interested. If not there will be a few writing samples on this thread for people to read and enjoy at least.

So here's day 1. How naive I was back then!

Day 1 – Wednesday- (4/13/11)

I read over some of the 12MDTP yesterday after I sent it to my husband, but I hadn’t completed any of the steps at the point that I sent it. As a matter of fact, I was shocked that he was so quick and uninhibited in his decision to let me go down this path. I wasn’t expecting a yes and consequently didn’t prepare at all.

Wanting some guidance before starting the journey today, I skimmed through it in an effort to make the lifestyle transition as easy and seamless as possible. (ha! 12 months isn’t seamless)

My first act was to take all my underwear out of my dresser drawers and sealed it up in a plastic trash bag. Initially, I threw it in the back of my closet, but I’m considering moving it to a less convenient place so I don’t get tempted. I’ve been wearing to work and school off and on for the last week or so and some days I have wanted to throw on some underwear because it’s faster and will be cooler (temperature wise). Putting my underwear in the closet will prevent me from cheating on those days.

There were a lot of firsts on Day 1 for me despite having worn recreationally for so long.

Having awoken from a long night of anticipation, I put on one of the cheap Medlines while I got ready for class and wet it with a long stream. Being inexpensive, the Medline was already sagging, but I decided that I would change when I got to school before class as I had not changed in a public restroom before. I already had a bag of Molicares in the trunk of my car for times in the past when I wanted to wear at a fellow DL's house and didn't bring my supply with me so I didn't pack anything in my backpack initially. One of the “firsts

[Creepymouse]

Great post, thanks. I don't agree with everything in the 12 month plan, but I DO believe that the firm dedication is part of the process, that's why he says to destroy one's underwear, not store it away. Of course, I go 'commando' quite often, so it doesn't quite work the same, if I wanted to go without, I just go without. He also recommended using baby diapers as stuffers, and unless you're already using a high-test brand like Molicare or Bambino or Abena (I wore Abena during the day and cloth at night) it is a real help.

I realize you're posting old material from months ago, so you probably figured a few things out since then. Good Luck.

(By the way, I recommend Sarnoga's "Accustomed to Wetting" for anyone who is 24/7 and in training.)

[AZbearlover]

Guess a DD update went bad and lost my last post. Here it is again. Thanks again to Creepymouse for the words of encouragement.

Month 3 Week 3 Day 3

Wednesday- Well I went hiking in a diaper yesterday as you probably deduced from yesterday’s Medline statistic. At first it felt like I was wearing nothing as it’s cloth backed and thin. I did leak into it a bit before starting the hike, but the whole way up it didn’t bother me. I didn’t pee during the hike itself at all however on the way back down the mountain the diaper began falling apart, sagging (maybe sweat but more likely poor diaper structure) it was chafing my leg in a terrible way. My leg felt like it was practically bleeding by the time we were done and I was almost limping to avoid the rubbing on that side. I have a cut on the back of my heel that I haven’t let heal and the last three hikes it’s been chafed and has bled, but admittedly the diaper felt twice as painful.

The Molicare Air Actives don’t sag as much as Medlines in the first place and probably have better structure too. If I get those I might feel better about short hikes in diapers.

Long hikes on the other hand and backpacking/camping trips become another matter. The Mount Humphrey’s trip I am doing in August (highest mountain in AZ) is a 5 hour hike. Normally a Molicare/stuffer could last that long but an Air Active or Medline couldn’t.

Seeing how I’ve hiked about 30-40 miles in the past two weeks, I feel pretty serious about jumping feet first into my hiking groups and going out during the weeknights and backpacking/camping during the longer trips that are hosted every weekend. As a matter of fact I have hiking plans until the beginning of September for almost every weekend (Saturday AND Sunday).

I tried searching for keywords like camping/hiking/backpacking and incontinence yesterday to see how other people coped and realized there were almost zero hits.

It’s probably a good time for me to start coming back to the reality that it’s not feasible to be incontinent with this lifestyle.

8:00 p.m. After work and a 5 mile Mountain Ridge-line Hike

Today I learned some hard lessons. I put on a pair of old briefs that didn’t make my scrap pile and went to work not knowing the consequences. (For my DD readers- I haven't worn underwear in about 120 days)

Number 1: My bladder has shrunk a lot. I literally couldn’t hold it more than 20-30 minutes without absolutely needing to go or risk peeing myself. My boss, knowing I wear diapers, seemed curious that I was nigh running out the door twice or three times an hour but as usual was very tactful and didn’t ask about it.

Number 2: I didn’t want to be in underwear. I missed my diapers and wanted nothing more than to be back in diapers but I didn’t pack any on purpose to make it through the day to start bladder re-training. It was slightly anxiety inducing and distracting being out of diapers. I tried telling myself that I was done with soaking pants and terrible rashes and I could remove my bed pad, but despite all the crap that I went through as a diaper wearer, I wanted it all back.

Number 3: Surprisingly, I was dribbling urine into my briefs throughout the day. I kept catching myself relaxing my bladder/sphincter as I’ve been accustomed to for the past 3.75 months.

Number 4: I don’t want to quit 24/7 and if I can find a way to wear 24/7 and hike/backpack/camp, I’m going to despite the difficulties, embarrassment and whatever other problems exist.

Probably needless to say, I got home and diapered up for the night.

Diapers: 2 disposables (Molicare) (2 b.c. I changed around 3am)

Leaks: 0

Rashes: 0

[Creepymouse]

That's really weird. I made a rather long post too!

Anyway, during my time wearing 24/7, I never managed to get a rash. About the worst I would get was what I've heard called "monkey butt", which is rather uncomfortable. It's just sweat irritating the skin though. As far as the chafing, I recall having that problem when I hiked the Pinnacles Natl Monument. A generous coating of baby powder on the inside of your legs can help, but I also read the suggestion to try a drop or two of silicone-based lube. I bet that would reduce the friction dramatically. I also generally wore a pair of boxer briefs over my daily Abenas, which helped wick away the sweat that would otherwise build up between my leg and the diaper shell.

You mention soaked pants. I only once really demolished my pants, in nearly six months. That time, I had to walk about a mile home, and I customarily changed when I arrived. This time though, I was beyond ready for a change, but my wife had locked me out of the house and taken the keys with her, by accident of course. I didn't have a spare, or a way to get in to the house! Being the good baby that I am, I didn't let that stop me from wetting when I needed to, but by the time she got home three hours later, I was very cold and my abena was soaked far beyond its capacity. Other than that, I only had the occasional leak when the pee would trickle down the wing instead of into the padding (my most frequent leak) and I'd end up with a wet spot in my pocket or the tell-tale crescent.

As far as camping goes, I can't help you much there. If you're talking 'hard-core' camping, packing in water, packing out waste, I can't see where diapers would be any more or less hassle. In a regular campground, I'd rather toss a disposable or two in the trash can than walk to the porta-castle. Then again, I'm not a regular camper. I just built a rope-mattress bed for two (like a cross between a hammock and an army cot, it's pseudo-historical) and I'm hoping to build a large tent for weekend camping before too long. We have two nylon land-pimples, but I don't like them at all.

Anyway, I hope you find an acceptable solution.

[AZbearlover]

That's really weird. I made a rather long post too!

Anyway, during my time wearing 24/7, I never managed to get a rash. About the worst I would get was what I've heard called "monkey butt", which is rather uncomfortable. It's just sweat irritating the skin though. As far as the chafing, I recall having that problem when I hiked the Pinnacles Natl Monument. A generous coating of baby powder on the inside of your legs can help, but I also read the suggestion to try a drop or two of silicone-based lube. I bet that would reduce the friction dramatically. I also generally wore a pair of boxer briefs over my daily Abenas, which helped wick away the sweat that would otherwise build up between my leg and the diaper shell.

You mention soaked pants. I only once really demolished my pants, in nearly six months. That time, I had to walk about a mile home, and I customarily changed when I arrived. This time though, I was beyond ready for a change, but my wife had locked me out of the house and taken the keys with her, by accident of course. I didn't have a spare, or a way to get in to the house! Being the good baby that I am, I didn't let that stop me from wetting when I needed to, but by the time she got home three hours later, I was very cold and my abena was soaked far beyond its capacity. Other than that, I only had the occasional leak when the pee would trickle down the wing instead of into the padding (my most frequent leak) and I'd end up with a wet spot in my pocket or the tell-tale crescent.

As far as camping goes, I can't help you much there. If you're talking 'hard-core' camping, packing in water, packing out waste, I can't see where diapers would be any more or less hassle. In a regular campground, I'd rather toss a disposable or two in the trash can than walk to the porta-castle. Then again, I'm not a regular camper. I just built a rope-mattress bed for two (like a cross between a hammock and an army cot, it's pseudo-historical) and I'm hoping to build a large tent for weekend camping before too long. We have two nylon land-pimples, but I don't like them at all.

Anyway, I hope you find an acceptable solution.

Yeah I guess they got deleted when the site's message board needed to be restored from a restore point.

I tried a Molicare Air Active last night on a 1600 ft elevation change hike/climb and it held up pretty good. It was a bit warmer than the medline but not like a Molicare Super Plus (which I was crazy enough to wear one hike at 6pm, 118 degrees F). I did have a chance to read your original response and I appreciate you posting it again. I will have to try powdering up and seeing if that helps too. Thanks for the tip.

As for my leaks, sometimes the angle I'm peeing at (in conjunction with my body position) is just right that pee go down the side of my diaper (and consequently out of it) and one or two times I've actually managed to pee over the top of the diaper and soak the front of my pants. Luckily no one has really taken notice during any of these instances. I used to have legband leaks bi or tri-weekly but I've gotten a lot better about managing my changes and when it's time in the last month.

The main concern I was stressing in my journal is that on some long hikes I literally won't have time for a change even if I need it. The group I go out with keeps a good pace, usually stops for <60 second breaks and sometimes in areas with absolutely no privacy. Luckily when hiking and sweating I don't pee AS much, but on day-long hikes or weekend-long backpacking trips the concern is justifiable.

Additionally if I have a full to the top backpack I may not always have room for used diapers. One would think that as my water levels recede from drinking that I will have more room but it might not necessarily play out that way. A 3 day trip is 6-9 full diapers and that's definitely more than a backpack full even without the gear.

For now on long trips my plan is to hold it when possible and find spots to mark my territory as I hike into and out of the mountains to keep diaper usage down.

I'll be doing a lot of weekend trips in the fall and will let you guys know how I manage it!

[quicktip]

For now on long trips my plan is to hold it when possible and find spots to mark my territory as I hike into and out of the mountains to keep diaper usage down. I'll be doing a lot of weekend trips in the fall and will let you guys know how I manage it!

Would that not defeat the purpose of becoming incontinent? Your supposed to go as soon as you get the urge, holding it is something that would be the exact opposite. Anyway, it's been a good read, wish you would post more frequently or open a blog.

I would suggest purchasing some terry lined plastic pants, it will help you in the situations where your urine leaks from the diaper, no chance of it coming into your pants.

http://www.babykins.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=B&Product_Code=21300TV6M&Category_Code=KTLWP (as an example)

On the opposite note:

You have the ability to do anything you set your mind to in life, whatever it may be. Your young and have a full life infront of you. Are you sure you want one day be stuck in diapers for the rest of your life? let me say that again. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT IN LIFE AND HAVE THE MEANS TO. Are you sure it's becoming incontinent that you want? You could be a world class hiker, sell hiking tours, do so much and more..

Free will brother, don't think I am telling you off either. Just love and respect. Hope you do what you truly feel is right.

Love/God Bless

On a side note, at one point in time I had decided to become incontinent for both bowels/bladder. I wore 24/7 for a full six months before I decided that I did not want to do this anymore. It took around a full month to retrain my bladder to hold it, and I felt like I was running to the restroom every 10-15 minutes (I was actually). I would seep urine into my boxers every so often, not a lot but enough to feel a wetness (this still happens every so often, to a lesser extent) Night time I would wake up 3-4 times in a single night and would have to rush to the restroom from a small amount of urine that felt like I was about to burst. It's been around a year since that time period and I have a reduced bladder capacity as you soon will if you keep going down this route. Do I regret my choices? Yes and No. I regret not putting enough thought into it, and should of waited till I was out of my twenties and more financially secure / having a full tile career before planning anything like this. Were at a young age where anything can happen, is it really worth doing this?

[diapertime42]

Try plastic pants over your disposables to cut down on chaffing. Also, Onesies (Snap crotch tee-shirts) really work good to keep wet diapers from sagging and rubbing the insides of your thighs.

[AZbearlover]

Would that not defeat the purpose of becoming incontinent? Your supposed to go as soon as you get the urge, holding it is something that would be the exact opposite. Anyway, it's been a good read, wish you would post more frequently or open a blog.

I would suggest purchasing some terry lined plastic pants, it will help you in the situations where your urine leaks from the diaper, no chance of it coming into your pants.

http://www.babykins.com/Merchant2/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=B&Product_Code=21300TV6M&Category_Code=KTLWP (as an example)

On the opposite note:

You have the ability to do anything you set your mind to in life, whatever it may be. Your young and have a full life infront of you. Are you sure you want one day be stuck in diapers for the rest of your life? let me say that again. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT IN LIFE AND HAVE THE MEANS TO. Are you sure it's becoming incontinent that you want? You could be a world class hiker, sell hiking tours, do so much and more..

On a side note, at one point in time I had decided to become incontinent for both bowels/bladder. I wore 24/7 for a full six months before I decided that I did not want to do this anymore. It took around a full month to retrain my bladder to hold it, and I felt like I was running to the restroom every 10-15 minutes (I was actually). I would seep urine into my boxers every so often, not a lot but enough to feel a wetness (this still happens every so often, to a lesser extent) Night time I would wake up 3-4 times in a single night and would have to rush to the restroom from a small amount of urine that felt like I was about to burst. It's been around a year since that time period and I have a reduced bladder capacity as you soon will if you keep going down this route. Do I regret my choices? Yes and No. I regret not putting enough thought into it, and should of waited till I was out of my twenties and more financially secure / having a full tile career before planning anything like this. Were at a young age where anything can happen, is it really worth doing this?

Hi and thank you for sharing your story! I love hearing about other people's experiences and I'm glad that my thread is helping create more intellectual discussion about the subject matter.

Yes holding pee on hikes would defeat the purpose ultimately. One of the problems with skipping around on entries is that my readers don't get the whole story on where I'm at mentally and physically. To sum it up: I decided earlier this month that I was already off schedule from the 12MDTP and that I wanted to take the dive into incontinence slower so that I would have an opportunity to either become fully acclimated and make an educated decision about wearing for the rest of my life or to make a decision to stop. 80-90% of the time I am peeing at first urge and have already experienced significantly diminished ability to control my bladder. While it probably won't happen as fast for me as the author of the 12MDTP, I think continuing at this pace will keep diminishing my control slowly but enough that I continue developing an identity as someone incontinent.

As you mentioned, I noticed the day I wore briefs that I was running to the bathroom every 20-30 minutes and even my boss was noticing me running out the door.

Is it a hard decision in general to want to wear? Not really. What is the hardest thing from stopping me of jumping into it 100% head first and giving up control the other 10-20% of the time? The notion that I'm so active and asking myself can I wear while doing all the things I love. I think by the middle of the fall season I will have a much better idea of the direction I want to head. I'm fairly sure about my decision right now but just want to get those big backpacking/camping trips in to verify it.

In regards to money: financially I am pretty stable and have a few streams of revenue so I don't feel concerned about that at all.

Try plastic pants over your disposables to cut down on chaffing. Also, Onesies (Snap crotch tee-shirts) really work good to keep wet diapers from sagging and rubbing the insides of your thighs.

I actually created a home-made onesie with buttons, a t-shirt and scrap t-shirt cloth that came out really nicely. I hadn't considered it but I will definitely give that a try now that you mention it.

I'm not sure I could bear plastic pants on a hot summer hike though!

[AZbearlover]

Hey all. I decided to post my journal since a few people have been asking and there never seemed to be strong support for donating/purchasing it. I stopped 24/7 about 3 months ago (kicking and screaming the whole way) to pursue high-activity hobbies like hiking and climbing. Hopefully you find the information to be useful. It's currently 149 pages so if you are looking for suggestions to skip around - check out the summaries at the end of each month. They contain statistics on diaper usage, leaks, rashes, money spent, and changes in my physical and mental state during the time I was wearing 24/7.

The last 2-3 pages contain my ending thoughts over the last 3 months about wearing and its residual effects now that I'm not 24/7 anymore.

Again as a disclaimer its talks about my genitals, pee, poop, sex, etc. It isn't written like a porn, but dealing with the nature of the topic (24/7 and how it fit into my life) a lot of it was unavoidable.

Enjoy and happy wearing!

DL Journal.doc

DL Journal.doc

[30daysindiapers]

I'm currently doing the same thing although I'm only on the 18th day.

[Creepymouse]

Good luck

[footballdude]

I am also doing the 12 month programe and have been on it for a month. I have experienced many of the same body changes as recorded in the "DL Journal" . I have noted the increase in peeing to every 1/2 hour or so but I do notice that I need to go and also I need to start the flow although it is easier to start now than when I started the programe. I never had problems with wetting while in bed and it is interesting to note the times that wetting was occuring in the DL Journal at night and how my own experience has matched so closely. For me Just after getting into bed 3.00 am and about 6.00 am.

Have not finished my read of the journal but it has been an encouragement for me.

[bernie]

Hi AZbearlover

Sorry, english is not my first language.

It's a pity, that you had tried to announce your road to incontinence in that moment, while stopping your 24/7 wearing. I have read the monthly recapitulations in your journal and the end. It was very interesting for me.

I also have tried 24/7 several times. But my longest period in them was 8 weeks. I had stopped because the 24/7 wearing interfere too much with my job. I don't have a desk Job.

Do you still wear diapers at home and at work? If hiking is the only reason for not wearing the diapers, then search in incontinence forums for keywords like hiking. In german forum this search was successful. But the recommended diapers you can't buy in US. Another recommendation was, to wear tight runners or compression shorts. They hold the diaper very tight to your body and prevent at this way the chafing of your legs.

I hope, you can restart your 24/7 wearing soon.

[AZbearlover]

Thanks for the response bernie. I still wear at work and at home quite often depending on my mood. Sometimes when not hiking I wear 24/7 for 3-5 days at a time and the conditioning from my 3-4 month wearing spree makes it super easy for me to wet in them at will which was a nice side effect of wearing for long. Before I had a lot of shyness in many positions or if people were around but now I can (and usually do) let go at the first indication that I need and still wet frequently in small amounts like I mentioned in my journal.

Its been about 4-5 months I think since I stopped and my bladder has not fully recovered yet. I pee very frequently even when I'm not wearing and its very noticable to all my employees when I'm sick with a cold (etc) because I get up every 20 minutes or so. Otherwise I usually need to go -right now- every 30-40 minutes.

The problem with hiking wasn't just chafing but also with heat as I live in arizona and temps get up to 120F in the summer. A few people have suggested external catheters with leg bags but I'm not sure these would work for my situation as I do a lot of fitness hiking (fast paced) and it sometimes involves climbing around and lots of maneuvering. Additionally if I go on backpack trips I already have 30-45lbs of gear with no room in my backpack for extras and it would be very difficult to pack in/out all the diapers I would need.

Still I wear as often as possible to try and live the dream

[bernie]

Do you want recover your bladder or do you still want become incontinent in pee? I know, high temperature in summer is a big problem but true incontinent people also has to solve it. If you still want become incontinent in pee, the fall should be the best season to start the training.

How do you manage it, if you are on hiking tour and you had to pee. Do you use the nature for restroom? I know,in summer you had to sweat a lot and at this case you don't pee a lot. But now in winter i think, you had to pee more.

If you are on backpack trips, how do you manage it, if you had to poop? There are lodges with restrooms at the trail? If yes, they don't have trash cans? If they have trash cans, i would deposit the used diapers into them (wrapped in a trash bag) and 3 fresh diapers per day should not use too much place in the backpack.