My Roommate Is An Adult Baby

[Miyuki]

My roommate is very active in this lifestyle and I have no issues with it. He considers me an Auntie but some things have changed and maybe you all out there could give me some pointers.

Me and him have a great relationship. Ive just always had a sense of wanting to be protect and "mommy like" to him. But he had a long time girlfriend at the time who took over the whole diaper situation. Im good with showering him with gifts, helping him get into trouble, throwing things at mom, and everything else a good Aunt would do to help him annoy his mom.

Well, recently him and his girlfriend split up. Leaving him "mommyless". Now things have gotten a little tense on my end. Its now a constant always in a diaper when at home in baby mode, almost like he is really attatched to my hip. And I think he is excpecting me to take over as mom, even though we talked about it and I explained that while I support you there are just certain things about this lifestyle that are not for me. I dont want to tell him no, or I wont do this anymore because he has a hard time with rejection. And I also dont want him to change around me, i just couldnt be a mommy.

Other complication...we had had a couple drinks one night and he confessed his feelings for me. I have a boyfriend. (over 3 1/2 years) and I dont want to reject him, or make him think he cant be himself or bring this lifestyle around me. Only a very select few know and support him nonetheless. Im one. But I dont want line to get blurred, or anyones feelings to get hurt and I certainly dont want to say or do the wrong thing.

I guess, how can I be a good Auntie without crossing lines, hurting anyone, or taking away trust and comfort, of a adult baby who recently lost his long time mommy?

[TDL]

I want to start off with saying that it's very kind of you to be supporting and accepting about him. Not a lot of people are.

You COULD (kindly!) say to him that you already have a loved one, but that you would help him find a girlfriend. Tell him that there's a lot of people out there, waiting for a kind and lovable person like him!

People love compliments... You just have to give them the right ones!

[aleyxsis]

i think you have done the right thing !Emotions can take over and make us do crazy things .Keep being supportive like you have but keep your limits , because he might be thinking more about the ab thing rather than a relationship goodluck!

[RMS401]

I'll echo TDL's comments about your tolerance of this situation, but I think you need to be firmer in your rejection of him. That's not to say you shouldn't be kind, but there are many ways to be kind. In order to save your relationship, I think you need to lay down the law and tell him what while you care for him, and accept him just as he is, you are with someone and that you are not interested in being more involved in his lifestyle than you currently are. I think it's really important to be clear about that.

After you firmly state these things, make sure he understands that you care about him and are perfectly content to do _____________ and then itemize what you WANT to do--not are willing to do--with him.

In his fragile state, I strongly believe the best thing you can do for him is to set very clear boundaries. Really, it's best for both of you.

-RMS

[Bettypooh]

I'll echo TDL's comments about your tolerance of this situation, but I think you need to be firmer in your rejection of him. That's not to say you shouldn't be kind, but there are many ways to be kind. In order to save your relationship, I think you need to lay down the law and tell him what while you care for him, and accept him just as he is, you are with someone and that you are not interested in being more involved in his lifestyle than you currently are. I think it's really important to be clear about that.

After you firmly state these things, make sure he understands that you care about him and are perfectly content to do _____________ and then itemize what you WANT to do--not are willing to do--with him.

In his fragile state, I strongly believe the best thing you can do for him is to set very clear boundaries. Really, it's best for both of you.

-RMS

This No more needs saying

Bettypooh

[WallaWalla]

It sounds like he's relying too heavily on you for support. Draw a firm boundary and let him know that it isn't an option whatsoever. It's going to be better for both of you in the long run. He needs to go out and find somebody else who he can be with on his own terms instead of reaching for the nearest person to help sooth his sorrows. It doesn't mean you can't still be a good friend to him obviously, but if you're committed elsewhere it's important that you let him know that's all you are.

[Miyuki]

Thank you all so much for your positive and helpful information. And anyone that judges someone for doing something that makes them happy that doesnt directly hurt someone else, can kiss my butt. Just sayin.

Im thinking I will let it be for right now. He hasnt directly asked me to do anything I didnt want to. So, with the emotional issues he's going through im not going to throw another monkey wrench at him. He just may need someone he feels safe around. And im more than willing to be that person. He isnt ready for another GF yet, and I dont want him to. But thats a whole other topic.

Any advice on how to be a better/best/AWESOME Auntie? Currently, he gets little presents, we color together, or finger paint. I also tease, make sippy cups, wash pacifiers, and get up any time he needs something. I try to make sure he says "excuse me" or "OOPSIES" after burps and jokingly/playfully kick him in the butt when he cusses.

Any and all suggestions will be welcomed!

[Guest little_jonny]

sounds to me your already a awsome auntie. just keep up with what your doing. keep him smiling, laughing, staying happy, and enjoying his life style.. just let him know you cant be a mommy but one sweet and awsome auntie