Coming To Terms With My Abdl Side

[mike indiapers]

I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that I will forever be an ABDL that loves to wear diapers as a grown adult. It has been a long road to accept who I am and feel secure about my feelings and desires toward diapers. I am at a point in my life where I want to explore more about my ABDL side, yet know that our society is not that tolerant or accepting of our lifestyle - which is too bad.

Therefore, I continue to keep my ABDL tendencies a secret to all but a few trusted friends in our community. I am ok with it and don't want my ABDL lifestyle to paint who I am in everyday life. I have another life away from diapers and like to wear diapers as a way to relax and feel secure and comfortable as I did in my childhood. I do struggle with wanting to meet more ABDLs and explore other sides of this lifestyle, but wanting to keep it private. I would hate for my two worlds to collide - they are separate.

My ABDL feelings originate from my childhood experience and memories. You see, I wore diapers late into childhood as a late potty trainer and used to feel very embarrassed and ashamed about my past. I remember feeling embarrassed about being in diapers and as I got older recognizing that I was the only kid I knew my age still wearing and using diapers. I was finally potty trained by age six and only wore diapers to bed after that for bedwetting. My mom would tell people that she never thought she would get me out of diapers and I remember feeling so embarrassed when she brought it up.

My feelings were conflicted, however, because after I was out of diapers, I yearned to go back in them. I remember soon after being out of diapers, seeing other toddlers still wearing diapers and wanting to be them. I missed the security, comfort and extra attention that diapers brought me. I would sneek a peek at a mother changing her toddler's diapers and memories and feelings would come rushing back to me. I kept me feelings to myself but always found myself drawn to diapers.

I would also try to walk down the diaper aisle of the grocery store and finally as a teenager I bought my first box of pampers. I tried them on as best I could and the feelings came back again. I knew I was an ABDL, but didn't know that others felt the same way as me until years later. In college I tried my first adult diapers and was in heaven. I was hooked on diapers and never looked back. I kept my diaper wearing private and moderate. Soon after the explosion of the internet I discovered the ABDL community and couldn't believe that there were some many others out there like me - what a relief that I wasn't alone.

So here I am now wanting to open up more to others in our community and make new friends. I have accepted who I am and very secure about how my ABDL side fits with the rest of my life. It feels so liberating to open up and express who I am and what got me here. I just had to share and welcome any thoughts or comments from our great Daily Diapers community.

[sarah_ab]

welcome to DD, and its great to hear you have accepted yourself for you!!!!

there is nothing wrong with liking diapers, just like there is nothing wrong with people who like eat fish, or watch family guy, or read manga... its just another one of those things some people like, and some people don't1!!

Welcome again!

[mike indiapers]

Sarah, thank you for the support and nice words. I wish wearing diapers were more generally accepted like you suggest - wouldn't that be great. Our society seems to have a hang up on things deemed "not normal," which is too bad. I spent too many years feeling different because I wore diapers so late into childhood, got attached to them and love to wear them now as an adult. I have gone through a battery of mixed emotions from the intense pressure of potty training, feeling confused about my feelings toward wanting to go back into diapers, and finally wearing diapres again as an adult but feeling like I was doing something wrong. It has been hard to get to the place I am at now and to be more secure about my past and present as an ABDL.

[curiositykilledthecat]

Welcome to the boards and relax you are amongst friends.

Being an ABDL is not a negative unless you wish it to be. We are all unique in our own way and enjoy different aspects of life. Many of us have or infantilism rooted in child abuse and many do not, however we are collectively all bretheren and thus wlecome all new comers with open arms and nose clips. Have fun here, be proactive and you'll grow more comfortable in your own skin.

[mike indiapers]

Welcome to the boards and relax you are amongst friends.

Being an ABDL is not a negative unless you wish it to be. We are all unique in our own way and enjoy different aspects of life. Many of us have or infantilism rooted in child abuse and many do not, however we are collectively all bretheren and thus wlecome all new comers with open arms and nose clips. Have fun here, be proactive and you'll grow more comfortable in your own skin.

Great advice - again thanks for being so welcoming all.

[sarah_ab]

ohh i'm not saying society is going to accept it.. but who cares what society accepts, if you are doing it in the privacy of your own home, its not illegal, and not harming anyone then to hell with society...

but in regards to self acceptance, it is just another like or dislike just like everything else in your life....

[AutieAB]

Part of me thinks that if society accepted diaper wearing, I'd have to find a new weird thing to do While ABDL is an inbuilt part of me that will never go away, a small part of the appeal is doing something that's unique to me (well it was until I discovered you guys all did it too ).

I have gone through a battery of mixed emotions from the intense pressure of potty training, feeling confused about my feelings toward wanting to go back into diapers, and finally wearing diapres again as an adult but feeling like I was doing something wrong.

This is entirely normal. Let me guess, at least once possibly many times, you stuck all your AB stuff in a box and put it in the attic or even threw it away before slowly but surely getting it back again a few days/weeks/months later? We've all been there and done it (search the forum for "binge purge")... Getting past that stage and learning to accept what you are is a big milestone

[Alf Deris]

I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that I will forever be an ABDL that loves to wear diapers as a grown adult. It has been a long road to accept who I am and feel secure about my feelings and desires toward diapers. I am at a point in my life where I want to explore more about my ABDL side, yet know that our society is not that tolerant or accepting of our lifestyle - which is too bad.

Therefore, I continue to keep my ABDL tendencies a secret to all but a few trusted friends in our community. I am ok with it and don't want my ABDL lifestyle to paint who I am in everyday life. I have another life away from diapers and like to wear diapers as a way to relax and feel secure and comfortable as I did in my childhood. I do struggle with wanting to meet more ABDLs and explore other sides of this lifestyle, but wanting to keep it private. I would hate for my two worlds to collide - they are separate.

My ABDL feelings originate from my childhood experience and memories. You see, I wore diapers late into childhood as a late potty trainer and used to feel very embarrassed and ashamed about my past. I remember feeling embarrassed about being in diapers and as I got older recognizing that I was the only kid I knew my age still wearing and using diapers. I was finally potty trained by age six and only wore diapers to bed after that for bedwetting. My mom would tell people that she never thought she would get me out of diapers and I remember feeling so embarrassed when she brought it up.

My feelings were conflicted, however, because after I was out of diapers, I yearned to go back in them. I remember soon after being out of diapers, seeing other toddlers still wearing diapers and wanting to be them. I missed the security, comfort and extra attention that diapers brought me. I would sneek a peek at a mother changing her toddler's diapers and memories and feelings would come rushing back to me. I kept me feelings to myself but always found myself drawn to diapers.

I would also try to walk down the diaper aisle of the grocery store and finally as a teenager I bought my first box of pampers. I tried them on as best I could and the feelings came back again. I knew I was an ABDL, but didn't know that others felt the same way as me until years later. In college I tried my first adult diapers and was in heaven. I was hooked on diapers and never looked back. I kept my diaper wearing private and moderate. Soon after the explosion of the internet I discovered the ABDL community and couldn't believe that there were some many others out there like me - what a relief that I wasn't alone.

So here I am now wanting to open up more to others in our community and make new friends. I have accepted who I am and very secure about how my ABDL side fits with the rest of my life. It feels so liberating to open up and express who I am and what got me here. I just had to share and welcome any thoughts or comments from our great Daily Diapers community.

hey Mike =D

I'm new here too and my fellings about be a AB are very similar to yours... I even could say, in some aspects my fellings are equals to yours, especialy on the part of "re-conquer" the sensasions of childhood^^.

What I have to say to you is wellcome! It's a very good and important attitude about acept yourself as you really are

unfortully the society have some problems to accept our lifestyle, but it don't really metter buddy, what is important is you being happy with yourself =D

diapers are nothing more than a diferent kind of underwear =) if you prefer that just wear it^^

sometimes, just let your baby side talks and try new things ^^ some people like to wet or messy their diapers, others loves pacifiers and baby bottles, or even do baby talk or/and crawl aroud the house only in diapers... so, just listen your heart and do what you want