Little Side Has A Mind Of It'S Own?

[curiositykilledthecat]

Well I'm not sure if any of this will make sense to anyone however I always thought quite possibly that at least 3/4 of the AB community had dissacoiative tendencies. By definition we all do, as in anyone who engages in age play is dissociating from their standard way of life. What I'm referring to is the advanced stages of that concept which can be categorized as DID(meaning due to something traumatic, the mind fragments and several unique alters are born) or DID NOS(similar to DID except the basic requirements are not meant to confirm DID diagnosis.) I.E, DID NOS could explain why many people refer to having a little side that is separate from themselves or it's own identity. Diapered Witch, with whom I live and date has DID, including a little alter. I do not, as I can not leave consciousness completely and the body function. What I am concerned about is I am a switch so I'm DW's Daddy but I have a little side too. My problem is I don't really know how to relate to my little side and albeit it's part of me, it kind of does it's own thing internally, i.e. I can talk to my little side and apparently I found out yesterday he can talk to me(internally). I don't know if I'm simply using what is familiar to me to rationilize or explain a part of myself or if this is something different entirely, however my experience yesterday was weird and is I guess I'm a bit confused.

Yesterday I took DW to Target so she could buy some supplies for her camping trip she left for today and as we usually do we went through the various aisles of toys. Usually I have to worry about her little alter popping out to see the toys or just DW acting up however I had my own issue to deal with. I felt funny all day, not sick or anything just off and while up and down the aisles I'm playing with a few items here and there before coming across some sesame street toys and all of a sudden I catch eyes with a doll and here internally is "COOKIE MONSTER!!!"(my favorite as a toddler) and next thing I know I'm muttering under my breath, "I'm not picking up the stupid cookie monster toy". Well that didn't last long as DW picked it upp and shoves it in my face and I grabbed it from her. That was funny enough, then once we get home My little side was just there, usually I can't regress without trying really hard but my lil side was just ready to go. DW is teasing me and I'm just sort of trying to meditate or do something to figure out what was up(been off my hormone meds for way too long now and it's messing me up) and she starts asking me questions and I'm answering her as I normally would. then she is telling me all this DID stuff and as usual I'm half listening and then she tells me based on my behavior and verbage that she thought I was DID NOS and said I hit the normal side of it and my reply did not come out as me. this further prompted her to coax my little side out. After she acknowledged my little side/self I felt at peace and back to normal, not before she wanted me to ask if it had it's own name, which since I knew that if there was an answer other than no I was in big trouble; I was a bit hesitant. Thankfully nothing came up, at least nothing indicating a separate identity.

I'm still rather perplexed by everything as I know my little side is part of me but it isn't at the same time. Is this normal(hope so) or am I in the minority with this line of thinking?

I apologize fif the whole topic is convoluted as I don't really know how to phrase any of this correctly.

[toon]

first of all.....whats the hormone meds all about?

Second...I dont think its Disassociated at all for anyone.

I'm pretty much constantly a little it just depends on what

degree I let go. I think like a kid, sometimes talk like a kid.

I find toys to play with at work...*not real child toys but something

I personally find fun to toy with*.

Someone who is disassociated hasnt any similarities to the prior.

the disassociated personality would write different, sometimes talk different.

If you were disassociated and "little" you wouldnt be able to drive.

You wouldnt understand adult logic.

you do not have a disassociated personality.

none of us really do.... we are consciously littles

we understand it and make the decision to diaper up

or let ourselves feel little.

[curiositykilledthecat]

The hormones I take is Androgel for a condition I've had since birth. I'm uninsured and the pharmacy that makes it is jerking me around.

From what I have studied about DID you can be what is called co-present, where both the host and alter are present at the same time. Dissociating isn't just slipping in and out of various states of consciousness, there are many grades of it, most of which I don't want to spend hours summarizing. hen DW's little alter is present, she understands the adult world, however just not always able to understand how things work. she can't drive or cook. I have my normal playful self and I don't think I have a separate alter, however I relate to my little side a bit differently than what appears to be normal here.

[toon]

you relate to your little side yet you repress it and take care of a little?!

I dont really see how that is more or different than anyone else here.

how exactly do you "relate" to your little side "differently" than anyone else?

I think before you start diagnosing yourself or DW perhaps you two should

consult a professional psychologist and take some tests or ask them some

questions.

You are an adult male who wears diapers and sometimes try to regress which

is usually stopped due to your needing to take care of another adult. She is an

adult female who makes conscious decisions to do what she does and uses

the cop out of being disassociated *which I dont know if she was really clinicly

diagnosed as*

I remember her in supposedly little mode carrying on a normal adult conversation.

I witnessed her driving the car with the pacifiar in her mouth.

I know someone who actually has the condition. He is on meds, he cannot work,

he cannot drive etc. He cannot get a license due to this affliction because he cannot

control when it happens. Knowing him for many years and observing he and his

other "states" compared and contrast to DW I have to call BS.

I dont mean to offend I truly dont but......I call'em like I see'em.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissociative_identity_disorder <<-------read for further info on DID. Its not recognized as a "valid medical diagnosis"

[Mischa]

you relate to your little side yet you repress it and take care of a little?!

I dont really see how that is more or different than anyone else here.

how exactly do you "relate" to your little side "differently" than anyone else?

I think before you start diagnosing yourself or DW perhaps you two should

consult a professional psychologist and take some tests or ask them some

questions.

You are an adult male who wears diapers and sometimes try to regress which

is usually stopped due to your needing to take care of another adult. She is an

adult female who makes conscious decisions to do what she does and uses

the cop out of being disassociated *which I dont know if she was really clinicly

diagnosed as*

I remember her in supposedly little mode carrying on a normal adult conversation.

I witnessed her driving the car with the pacifiar in her mouth.

I know someone who actually has the condition. He is on meds, he cannot work,

he cannot drive etc. He cannot get a license due to this affliction because he cannot

control when it happens. Knowing him for many years and observing he and his

other "states" compared and contrast to DW I have to call BS.

I dont mean to offend I truly dont but......I call'em like I see'em.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissociative_identity_disorder <<-------read for further info on DID. Its not recognized as a "valid medical diagnosis"

I've talked to Lil....Lil is totally different from Big DW. Big DW is also an AB who also has a second person sharing her body who is 2-3 years old.

On top of that..DW has more of the symptoms of DID than she has mentioned here. I have been on Skype when she has had tremors. I am also familiar with the likely reasons why she is DID. DID also varies in severity, much like autism. A friend of mine from high school and a cousin of mine both have the same disorder, however my friend could carry on a conversation--he is in many respects a 7-8 year old, my cousin has never been able to be potty trained--he is emotionally an infant.

DW acknowledges she has DID and thus can co-exist. Lil is by both curi and DW's accounts afraid of cars--so the chances of her taking over while driving seem to me slim.

[Mischa]

about drinking Kaluha from a bottle.

-Miakoda

okay.....this brings a whole new spin to the line from "All Summer Long" 'Sippin whiskey out the bottle' Awesome

[toon]

what you explain is completely different from what I've seen when I met you.

I'm going on personal experiance with you in saying....im really still not convinced.

I know whether I am or not really isnt of importance to you and I accept and understand that.

I just know that this "spectrum" of MPD is rare and mostly considered non existent to professional

psychologists.

I dont think you are a bad person.

I dont think Alan is a bad person.

I enjoyed your company I am just saying..... I dont think what you are saying is truly accurate.

I definately dont believe Alan to be or have DID.

thats just my opinion though.

it is what it is.

[curiositykilledthecat]

Well considering she has five different Alters living within her system she fits the clinical definition of being DID, formerly called Multiple Personality disorder. I'm not sure what you witnessed as you were no-where to be seen at the littles overnight deal in May. Her little personality can understand adult conversation, just not expansive vocabulary. As an AB we tend to just choos to butcher the english language and play little,(including myself there) her alter is a little and has the mind of a 27 year old, rather than a 27 year old trying to adopt the mental frame of a two year old. in her case it's a bit different. She also has her AB side separate from that, she misbehaves and does that kind of stuff that the rest of us do.

DID is in the DSM IV, there are doctors who don't think that DID is real, however there are also people who deny the holocaust, it doesn't mean they have any credibility. It would be as if someone just called you being bipolar(sorry if I'm getting that wrong) a load of B.S. I dated a bi-polar chick who used it as an excuse for everything in life, however, it doesn't discount that it is a medical illness. If you google DID or DID NOS there are tons of credible resources that aren't Wikipedia.

I'm not on here trying to pick who's got more mental problems, I can care less, I got my own, just choose to function anyways, some people can and some can't. Thus why Shrinks exist.

As for pacifier, she uses that all the time, it's a coping mechanism for her, as for me, I just enjoy it and it helps me to relax.

Back to me now,

I only state that I relate to mine differently since based on your response you are at a different point in your age play/infantilism, whatever people want to call it. I'm not saying I'm better, worse or unique. I'm just trying to make sense of a weird set of experiences I have had. I don't think i have multiple personalities or anything like that(Thank God). I have some other issues that are prevalent however I'm not one to claim anything outright without a medical diagnosis.

You may want to do research into DID as there are varying levels of it and taking one experience as a label or type cast is a grave error. If I did that I would have to type cast all Bi-polar people as drug addicted, whiners who use their condition as an excuse to be a burden to everyone. I know that it not the case with all people who are bi-polar, I know you seem to do the best you can in life as do the rest of us. I know you don't like DW being so open with the lifestyle because of the Super Adventure club or whatever you belong to(I know which one, just respecting your privacy and not giving the name), however she has gotten very little negative publicity and in fact has gotten more positive responses from people. I'm just as shocked.

I am by no means a shrink, however I can attest to DW having DID, you'd have to ask her, she knows more about all the types and crap than I do. I tend to spend my time researchind BPD as that's the closest thing I find that matches some of my issues. Again, not trying to fight with you Toon, I like you.(I'll kill you last? )

I am not trying to start a debate about what littles in the abdl community are, I simply want to see if anyone has had similar experiences or if I should jut watch myself?

http://www.webmd.com...nality-disorder

http://www.nami.org/...Disorder%29.htm

and for DID NOS

http://www.mosaicmin.../diag_crit.html

This may help so we're all referring to same conditions.

Bro either way take it easy,

Sorry, I'm not singling you out with the Bi-polar stuff, I just used my ex as an example.

[curiositykilledthecat]

Hun, how are you in oxford at a festival and still managed to hi-jack my thread?

Toon, I think my problem arises from my only daily expoure to our community is DW and therefore I relate everything I deal with according to how she is and of course her being DID I don't have a proper example to follow so I treat my little side like an Alter. sometimes I feel like he is but it's still me when I regress, I don't black out, my problem is not having an outlet and ignoring it until it bblows up in my face. I just was a little worried when I am arguing with myself when I wasn't even trying to regress at Target. Thus why I consider being DID NOS, which doesn't mean multiples, it's a blank term basically meaning, "We don't know"

[toon]

its taken vary easy. This is a conversation. A thread based on a topic. Where one person has a different point of view than others. I'm simply stating such.

I can debate. I know how to well. Its just an informed and calm argument. Like I said I mean no offense. I'm still just trying to understand what you are talking about

and why psychologists with Doctorate Degrees and certifications claim DID does not actually exist as a valid medical diagnosis.

calling my fraternity the super adventure club? Really?!

certified psychologists stating this is not a valid medical diagnosis and someone who claims the holocaust never happened?! You think that is a fair comparison?!

Bipolar is a clinically diagnosed disorder caused by a chemical imbalance in the brain. Your comparison to "Bi-polar people as drug addicted, whiners who use their condition as an excuse to be a burden to everyone" doesnt hold water. I've had more than one friend commit suicide due to bipolar disorder....I honestly hope you feel like an asshole for saying that.

I was around at the sleepover for an hour. I watched as DW fell on her knee causing it to bleed. I was around for the cakes in which I didnt take part because I dont like sweets. I tried to get a chance to really conversate with DW out of sheer curiosity to what she was like and about this affliction you all speak of. I had been to a Yankees game earlier that evening though so as I'm sure you could expect I was quite exhausted.

last but not least....your condescending tone is offensive.

I'm a Freemson. I've stated such in previous threads.

I am a 3rd Degree MM and also a Royal Arch Mason. It is a mark of honor and integrity to be such and I will never deny or be afraid to admit ANY of it.

"super adventure club"....funny!

[toon]

Hun, how are you in oxford at a festival and still managed to hi-jack my thread?

Toon, I think my problem arises from my only daily expoure to our community is DW and therefore I relate everything I deal with according to how she is and of course her being DID I don't have a proper example to follow so I treat my little side like an Alter. sometimes I feel like he is but it's still me when I regress, I don't black out, my problem is not having an outlet and ignoring it until it bblows up in my face. I just was a little worried when I am arguing with myself when I wasn't even trying to regress at Target. Thus why I consider being DID NOS, which doesn't mean multiples, it's a blank term basically meaning, "We don't know"

everybody here feels that way. Its the tug of war between your adult side and your little side. The hard part about being a little is maintaining that balance.

Its harder for people like myself where it is more of an emotional need than a fetish and just sexual. You look at people differently as a little....you see everything

different as a little. My precocious and playful attitude usually turns alot of people off.... I like to play with stuff.....in the dirt lol Kicking rain puddles....

you have to find a comfortable medium. You need to give DW to someone to watch and let your little out and stop repressing it so much.

[toon]

Toon,what you've seen of us is VERY limited. For starters, B hates ABDL stuff, and P is overwhelmed by everything. Thus, you won't see them at an ABDL munch in brightly lit public places. A little alter at an AB even won't stand out, thus, you wot be able to see much of anything DID in us. Throw in the fact that we are selective in who and where we show ourselves to (ie, B pretends she is me at work, for example) and you'll be as skeptical as my extended family would be if we told them.

My apologies if we are not the unemployed wreck the DID you know is, and we scincerely wish them the best in healing to a point they function smoothly as a team, or integrate if that is best for them.

-Miakoda, with rest of system near by.

maybe sometime we'll be able to see, experience, and learn more about eachother.

I apologize if I've offended any of you *slightly joking about the plural, yet serioius*

In future engagements I will be sure to keep what you've said in mind.

that friend actually passed away 4 years ago. He decided or one of him decided to take his own life.

he was also bi polar. . . or . . .one of him was?! I met him when I was in an institution. We roomed

together briefly and kept in contact.

I would like to meet the rest of your alters too. You know they say even though the curiosity could have killed the cat the

satisfaction brings it back.

[toon]

Sprint. The now network, hun.

"network" unintended pun?! Hilarious either way.

[curiositykilledthecat]

last but not least....your condescending tone is offensive.

I'm a Freemson. I've stated such in previous threads.

I am a 3rd Degree MM and also a Royal Arch Mason. It is a mark of honor and integrity to be such and I will never deny or be afraid to admit ANY of it.

"super adventure club"....funny!

I'm very sorry, I wasn't trying to be offensive, I didn't want to mention the Free Mason's by name unless you were okay with it. As I understood from Glenn this was an issue at the meet ups so my bad on that one; I probably misunderstood Glenn. As with most things in life there was a communication breakdown somewhere. Though Fraternities aren't my bag, I am familiar with yours so congrats on reaching the rank you have so far and you should be proud.

I don't feel like an asshole, I could hold you to the same degree based on your earlier assertions about DW but I don't, we all make mistakes and judgments based on misinformation or lack of information.(I'm far from perfect on this one, but I pride myself on being willing to learn) It seems you misunderstood my post. I was merely trying to demonstrate why typecasting all people of that group based a single experience is a logical faux pas. We all do it unintentionally.(I have it done to me all the time because I'm a Christian.) I apologize if you took that the wrong way, you seemed to have missed the point I was trying to make. i'd never dismiss someone elses suffering like that, well except my ex, you don't take anti-depressants and smoke pot, snort crack and get drunk night after night and then cry victim to your therapist.(I spent months after we broke up trying to help her get her act together, with no avail, she honestly just said I'm bi-polar whenever I made a suggestion to improve her life. I don't even know why I tried to help her she cheated on me before we even broke up.)

Again, I like you, you seem to be reading me wrong, which is fine, the web is not the easiest place to read tones so no big deal. Again with the psychiatry DID is already in the DSMIV which is the tool in which all psychiatrists use to make their diagnosis.(Well until DSMV is released). Regardless of what some shrinks think, the condition is in the DSMIV. I also may be reading you wrong here, as I know there are shrinks who don't discount alters and multiples, they just don't agree with the title or definition of DID. If that's the case, I feel stupid, my bad.

I am not claiming to have DID, don't want it. As for the little's munch, I'm diabetic, can't eat all the sweets, we could have chatted, heck next time I'm in Jersey and now that I know DW will be okay alone for ten minutes, I'd like to chat one on one or in a group. When you saw DW fall that was because at times she'll have tremors or black out momentarily from switching. Her little alter was popping in and out at the restaurant, this can be disorienting to the body and I wasn't paying attention and she fell in the hotel room.(Bad Daddy?) If you wish we can all hang out, share war stories and get to know each other better either here in ct or at the next little's event in jersey that we can attend. You would have actually probably laughed if you heard the little alter at the resturaunt pouting about having to wait to go to the hotel room. You and your wife seem very cool Toon, just want to make sure we're all on the same page.

As for quoting me, please be careful, you misunderstood what I was implying. I know Bipolar is a real condition because it's in the DSMIV, just like DID and all the other conditions listed in it. Even if it wasn't I know people with it and have seen it impact my own life.(exgf and I have a cousin who claims she has it, not sure) This thread wasn't even about any of this, not sure how the heck we went down this rabbit trail but lets get back on topic.

Back to topic,

Yeah I need to let my little side out more often. I'm working with DW on that, she knows I' may be daddy but I'm a switch at heart and if not be a mommy, at least put up with me for a few minutes. My whole thread was to see how others viewed their little side and if I'm off my rocker or not, lol.

[curiositykilledthecat]

P currently considers you unsafe, so it will be a while before you meet more of us. Please don't take that personally, you are still a stranger, and strangers are unsafe in her eyes.

If you wish to know more about us, we don't mind discussing it with you. Perhaps IM or chat after we get home from my trip. Our switching is usually smooth, and hardly noticeable, atleast between B, P,and myself. Most people do not need to see we aren't a singlet.

Please don't get too mad at curi. He is protective of me, of us, and I am very appreciative of it.

-Miakoda

I'll work on P, toon, I am one of few who have met her and B thinks all of us AB's are weird. I go from cuddling with DW to the next day getting laughed at. It's quite a Mind F*** at times. I have learned to appreciate each of them though and Toon I am so sorry about your friend, that explains a lot, so again what I said earlier given your background would have sounded insensitive and for that I apologize.

If I come across as emotional, yeah my hormones are off today and I'm all moody, at least my little side is quiet, he got some attention yesterday and for the most part is happy. I'm sure the cat is going to hate me later though.

[curiositykilledthecat]

everybody here feels that way. Its the tug of war between your adult side and your little side. The hard part about being a little is maintaining that balance.

Its harder for people like myself where it is more of an emotional need than a fetish and just sexual. You look at people differently as a little....you see everything

different as a little. My precocious and playful attitude usually turns alot of people off.... I like to play with stuff.....in the dirt lol Kicking rain puddles....

you have to find a comfortable medium. You need to give DW to someone to watch and let your little out and stop repressing it so much.

Ironically my little side is shy, sacred and seeks attention. I will talk to just about anyone, willing to stand my ground if I must and can giveor take the attention. I think my lil side is probably more along how I truly feel inside and who I am outwardly is just what I've projected for years. I really should have seen a shrink years ago, but my father is too much of an ass to have ever understood that. Even if I get insurance and choose to go now, it would be hidden from family. I often wonder if I am right about having high functioning BPD and it bleeding into my little side. The only reason I even considered the DID-NOS is simply because I converse with my little side internally, is this normal or at least normal for a bunch of adults who wear diapers?

[Guest NaughtyAshes]

god and I thought the west coast abdl scene had drama, y'all new englanders take the cake!

[curiositykilledthecat]

Lol, Nah I think the blokes across the pond have a bit more drama with Goerge and wetnmessy. I like how we got 20 posts in and the conversation never got where I intended, lol.

Okay lets change the direction of the thread here and try a different approach,

How do the rest of you define your little side and approach it?

[Mischa]

Lol, Nah I think the blokes across the pond have a bit more drama with Goerge and wetnmessy. I like how we got 20 posts in and the conversation never got where I intended, lol.

Okay lets change the direction of the thread here and try a different approach,

How do the rest of you define your little side and approach it?

I consider my little side a separate personality in most ways.

[curiositykilledthecat]

I consider my little side a separate personality in most ways.

yes and he likes booze.

[toon]

I put it in this perspective.

When I am an adult...I am in control. I am straight forward and aggressive.

I also feel the little in me though like its just peering out through the pillars

watching everything....sometimes and mostly a bit powty.

Because I'm conscious of both at all times....I am in a way.....like my own daddy.

growing up I had to fend for myself. I was my own parent. So I see it as I've never

really grown up....but I've just learned how to act like it real well and be aggressive

enough to make people not want to bother me out of the fear of vulnerability.

I dont know if that makes any sense?

*my little side and adult side are the same side.....my adult side is just my little side's acting gig* lol

so to answer the question above the rest of me is still little....and I love myself:)

I find our conversation intriguing Alan. I hold no hard feelings or distain toward either you or DW.

DW, I am not offended and completely understand.

I also want to touch on something else with you alan. When I was younger I was seriously self destructive. Alot of it was me being bi polar and I was really unbalanced and unstable. I've been through the hard drugs.....I've gone through the liquar binging and wanting help needing help and at the same time cursing anyone trying to help me. You know what is going on when you are bipolar....you want to stop it but its like you are a different person when your on that swing. I know before its going to hit....I try and slow it down or just...find a way to take the edge off. I get distant I get cold and cry for no reason. I contemplate death daily I've tried it a few times. The thing is with being bi polar you arent in control of your emotions for the most part....you have a demon in your head who's telling you the people you love and care about dont care about you dont want you around....Its a fury that wants you to feed it.

I havent been on meds since I was 17. I wanted to learn to face it alone and figure out my own head. I still get the swings. I feel for your ex. I hope she figures it all out and gets healthy. I hope she finds peace. Cause it is hell.

[curiositykilledthecat]

I did run into her a year ago. She seems that she finally wants to get it together, however I'm not sure she understands how. she has deeper issues that cause her to be a raging nymphomaniac and this leads to poor judgment on her part.

I don't believe I am bipolar, however I know I have issues and like you I have no desire to numb myself with meds. After getting fired from yet another job because of my big mouth I knew I had some underlying issues. It seems that I am sabotaging myself at times, I know how to handle irate customers and what to say, but I get frustrated doing menial work and after a while I can nolonger hold it in. Part of me thinks it's because of getting screamed and yelled at all the time as a kid, when I work on phones and people snap at me it's like a trigger. Based on what I've found online I think I fit something along the lines of Borderline Personality Disorder. I'm not sure since I'm not into self injury and I don't quite look at the world as so black and white. Of course even if I do, I'm not sure I'd even notice that I'm doing it. I was never into self injury, however something DW said to me makes me think that just because I never cut myself, doesn't mean I wasn't harming myself. I suffered with major depression for many years and I never ate healthy or cared to take care of myself because of my poor self image. I was never gluttonous, I was just apathetic towards my body. Looking back now, that was a form of SI. I had to stop being like that when I developed diabetes. My whole thought process was since I was born sick and feeble, I hated my body and figured it was pointless trying to take care of it with diet and exercise. That essentially bit me in the butt. I've had so many barriers set up as a teenager to hide how I felt from people and for the longest time I was quite good at it. I could smile, shake your hand while plotting your demise in my head. As I got older, I had a literal "Coming to Jesus moment" and my faith has helped me deal with a lot of issues, however as I age I am sensing many of the barriers I set up are crumbling and I have a sudden influx of emotions and concepts that I didn't know were there. I had a mini breakdown one night and that was the first time I ever regressed, I essentially uncovered my lil side, so to speak.

I feel very fragmented internally from years of putting up walls/barriers to protect myself. I feel at times, I don't even know who I am. We both seem to have a similar approach to our little side,what scared me was that I was not even considering regressing or anything along those lines at the store and it just sort of came out. It may have just been my subconscious mind saying, stop suppressing this, or I may be more fragmented than I realize. I don't know and it doesn't really matter. I think I just need to spend more time exploring who I am, accepting who I am and then trying to fix what I don't like.

[Mischa]

yes and he likes booze.

No, booze brings little me out--somewhat.

[buggie]

I have been diagnosed with many things during my life, but I never reached the point of DID. My mother was told that if, after a traumatic experience, you feel as if you must hold the experience in, you are more likely to develop multiple personalities, as a defense. Perhaps this information is the thing to blame people pestering me all of my childhood to "Talk". LOL.

I do have a little mode, just like I have a work mode, a serious mode, and a silly mode - this does not mean I have multiple personalities, it merely means that I know when certain actions are appropriate.

"By definition we all do, as in anyone who engages in age play is dissociating from their standard way of life." - No offense, Curi, but this is a big statement that, if made in such a way, should have back up. By whose definition? What studies? What gives you the right (however casually you meant it) to say everyone who engages in ageplay is "dissociating from their standard way of life" and suffering from any form of multiple personality disorder?

I know what dissociation is. I do not dissociate or deviate from my standard way of life at any time while engaging in age play. I stand in toy isles and wish I could hold a stuffed animal to me like I do at home (and sometimes I do!) but me muttering, like you, doesn't mean that my little is separate. All of me wants to play with that toy, but all of me also knows it may not be the right time, or place, or company. Even young children know this feeling. By three years old we are (beginning) to understand that other people can know different things from us about a situation, rules, or in general. By four and five we begin to define emotional characteristics and often apply them to things that are not human (a crushed cup on the floor may be a "sad cup" to a four year old). As an adult it is still a sad cup, but we have realized that it cannot have feelings and so we say instead "it looks like a sad cup". By six and seven we have developed the ability to understand that other people have perspectives that are different from our own and that we may need to take these into account. What I mean to say here is that we never "grow up" we just learn more about our world and we alter our words and actions to more specifically communicate our ideas to others and to ourselves.

Ageplay is about relaxing our filter. Of allowing ourselves to forget the "it is like" "I think" "maybe" "it looks" "it is as if" and just saying what we think, specifically. My Daddy knows I know that a cup isn't human and cannot be sad, but that doesn't stop me from (when in the right place and company) saying "oh no, you dropped the cup. What a poor cup. It's all hurt now" and insisting that Daddy glue it back together! With different company I may say "Oh no, that was my favorite cup. I think I can still glue the handle together - it will look wounded, but oh well!"

I liked you post and understood the concept you were thinking of, in terms of yourself. As a general rule, don't make sweeping statements about other people unless you want to be able to back them up (it's the readers choice if they want to read the material, but provide it, if you feel firmly in it's accuracy).

Normal human characteristics can become twisted, dissociated, and altered in the face of genetics and or traumatic experiences, but that doesn't make the normal part (like me with the cup, or at the toy store) the altered form. Just because wolves split off and some of them became dogs, doesn't mean that a wolf is a dog or a dog is a wolf. Just because you experience a normal feeling of wanting to play with a toy that you consider stupid at the same time, doesn't mean you are experiencing the same thing as someone with multiple personalities, at any level. There is almost always a spectrum of NORMAL ------- ABNORMAL in psychology - what you described to me, at least, would be on the NORMAL end, which doesn't mean it is going to be ABNORMAL. Wow, it's hard to explain it that way.... WOLF ---- DOG....if wolf is normal (being the beginning species lets say) and dog is abnormal (being the changed due to environmental conditions) then you are a Wolf, which doesn't mean you are related or will become a dog. A dog, on the other hand, is always related to the wolf, however distantly. See what I mean?

BLAH! You're making me discuss my PHYCH classes again! lol! You know, tomorrow I will have thought of the perfect essay to explain this whole thing, and then I'll just think "oh well, who over there wants to read a 20 something page essay?"

Anyways, good thoughtfulness, but I wouldn't jump to any conclusions or think about it too deeply. Sometimes I think that you put up too many road blocks in your way to just getting in touch with your silly mode, your less critical mode, your playful mode, your "who cares what anyone thinks about me playing with cookie monster at Target" mode.

You would like Jean Piaget's work. If you haven't read him, I recommend him. I recommend a specific author that explains his work (Piaget didn't write in English and the translations can be hard to understand sometimes). But I would rather not put that name up, since it is professor of mine. If you're interested, message me. I took a course that really looked into the development of the mind, through infancy and adulthood.

[curiositykilledthecat]

Hmmm... as I read the various definitions that I am finding for the term Dissociating, I may have used it in the wrong context.

"Dissociation is a partial or complete disruption of the normal integration of a person’s conscious or psychological functioning."

Being that I assuming that most of us on here don't ever lose consciousness during their regression, I guess I was incorrectly attributing this term. We may on a partial level dissociate while engaged in age play, however, I was not trying to imply that any of us are ill and thus need therapy...well not in that way. I often wonder if infantilism in and of itself is a symptom rather than a condition; however that is a discussion for another day.

I am quite interested in the material you were talking about Buggie, so I think I'll take you up on your offer.