Telling My Wife

[Guest LilMatty]

I am really tempted to tell my wife of 6 months about my ab side. I am still seeing my "daddy" and I have realized I am more a lil boy/man than baby. I am almost ready to tell her and hope that my "daddy", Wes a man that is already friends to he will become her man and me their baby.

Is this totally wrong?

[Guest lilmatty]

I met I am more of a lil boy/baby than a man.

[Valentine]

You should have told her before you married her.

[Guest Dill Pickle]

Umm, you should have told her *BEFORE* you got married....what you are doing now (seeing a "daddy") is cheating on your wife. The manly thing to do is to stop seeing your daddy except when your wife is present....but that's quite a tough row to hoe. I would say that whatever you do, telling her about "Wes" role as daddy is going to be extremely hard on her and will likely destroy your relationship.

I'd start by playfully introducing your AB self to your wife....and leave out your "daddy" completely.

I am really tempted to tell my wife of 6 months about my ab side.

[Morv]

She married you, not this "daddy." Your expectation of them treating you as a baby is denying her exactly what she was going in on when she married you. Expecting her to act as if she's with someone else and that you are her child is pushing it. It would be totally different if she was into this and knew these expectations before you got married, but she didn't. I'd hope she married you because she loves you, not for some other reason -- and asking her to pair up with a different man would be asking her to shift the feelings she has for you to another person. Expect her to be pretty upset -- you're turning her whole world upside down. Think of this on the same level as if she told you something like she liked being a slave to a dominatrix, who happened to be another woman she was seeing on the side, and oh, by the way, would you mind keeping her as a slave with this dominatrix as your companion instead of her.

Even if it isn't sexual with your "daddy," I think it is cheating to be seeing him "on the side."

Frankly, I think you really fucked this girl over when you married her, and it is in your hands to fix things up. I'd say you've betrayed her trust big time -- not because you didn't tell her about an AB/DL interest, but because you carried on an intimate relationship behind her back. Stop cheating, and take responsibility for what you got yourself into. Best of luck in trying to fix it.

(For the record, as far as my opinion goes, if someone chooses never to tell his/her SO about AB/DL interests, I see no problem with it, but I do feel a healthy relationship at some point should have enough trust to accept it. But, then again, some people just aren't very liberal in certain ways. Keeping that from someone isn't cheating -- that's just insecurity, which is weak, but not wrong.)

Again, best of luck getting things straightened out. I get the feeling you really need it.

[littleone]

I'm totally with Morv on this one. Not to jump on your case from the get-go, but wow - you really pulled a fast one on your wife, and have founded your marriage on seriously shaky ground. You have two options, basically.

1) Break off the relationship you have with your daddy, and focus entirely your relationship with your wife. Then, if you wish to continue your relationship with her openly, let her know of your AB tendencies - she may be open to them. Keep in mind that with this option, you're still holding back the full truth from her - admitting to an affair is touchy ground, some therapists strongly recommend that it shouldn't be done. Your choice.

2) Let her know immediately of what you're doing - tell her about your daddy, your relationship with him - everything. Who knows - she may be open to the idea. But be prepared for any sort of response from her.

Regardless of what you decide to do, something has to be done. Your choice to basically live a double life behind your new wife's back is an unhealthy and unfair one - it's best to deal with the problem now. And, MOST IMPORTANTLY, get yourself tested if you've been doing anything risky with your daddy. You could be putting your wife at risk. I hope things get worked out for you.

[drynot]

What Morv and Littleone said....

[diaprbayb]

You're being a bad baby!

[Guest erb]

I am really tempted to tell my wife of 6 months about my ab side.

[EmpireMaker]

Yes, it is

[Rhezz]

this is totally the wrong approach, but i say. Stop cheating on your wife, and dont tell her, its not gonna do anything but hurt the both of you.

[Guest Guest]

You want her to take your daddy as her man?!?

And for you to be their baby?!?

Sorry man, but you are one twisted character-

I love diapers just as much as any of us, but you have lied, cheated, been decietful and probably need just a bit of therapy.

She will probably leave you if you make such a request and considering what you've already done, I hope she gets a healthy divorce settlement. Not only to make up for the humilation, but for the uncaring way you have gone about your "relationship".

And you claim to love this women???

Thank you for making the AB/DL communitty look just a little more twisted in the eyes of the general public!!!

[Laddy]

I agree with all the others here, especially with Guest above me. She's your wife! You married her! Stop seeing your "Daddy", you've been cheating on your wife and will continue to do so unless you stop seeing him. You need to think about what you've done - you letting your ab/dl side completely control you. I think you need to take a step back and begin to take control of your urges, desires or whatever you call them before they ruin your life and your wife's. I feel really bad for your wife, a person who gave herself to you to commit to a life time with you, only to be deceived and betrayed because you can't control yourself! Yeah you're totally wrong!

[Morv]

[...] I hope she gets a healthy divorce settlement.[...]

I'm with you on pretty much everything but that. Let's not wish ill on someone here -- if you wish anything, wish for things to improve. Don't let all that negative emotion drive your karma, man.

Listen, the guy messed up, and he's looking for help -- looking for it here. I don't think he's making the AB/DL community look bad in specific, here. People with completely normal lives go behind their spouses backs.

Now don't get me wrong, I agree with most of what you said -- Matty has a lot to fix here. Let's not go wishing our own bad, though. Wouldn't he make a better member of the community if we're encouraging him to set things right and fix them -- and wouldn't we be better members of our own community if that's what we're doing?