Corrupt-a-wish

[:dlb]

Granted, you are sent to another dimension where days are 48 hours long and the workshift is 24 hours for any reasonable pay-- you realize it's hell.

I wish I had a mannequin for my stormtrooper suit.

[underwhere]

Granted. Around the location only of your specific person, the temperature suddenly drops to absolute zero. You are frozen solid. You are your mannequin. The stormtrooper suit fits nicely on you.

Today, I had Staples print up some flyers for my business I mentioned above, the one with the messed up business cards. I wish that when I post the flyers, people will take the information tabs, call me, and pay me to perform the service for them. (It's NOT an adult service, by the way, so get your head out of the gutter.)

[Baby Johnny]

Granted, people call and pay for the service. However, they don't like the service and sue you for all your money and leave you homeless with just the clothes on your body.

I wish to get out of jail.

[underwhere]

Granted. I hand you a "Get out of jail free!" card from my Monopoly board game. Hey, it might work to get you out. Then again, probably not.

I wish to go visit Baby Johnny in jail.

[Baby Johnny]

Granted, you come to the jail I'm in, get arrested for a concealed weapon, and join me in my cell.

I wish to spend a quiet day sleeping.

[:dlb]

You spend all day sleeping after being knocked out by your cellmate and "abused" in your sleep.

I wish I had some starbucks ice cream atm.

[underwhere]

Here is your Starbucks ice cream. You indulge and eat it immediately. However, this batch of ice cream was recalled due to preparation problems and a known outbreak of listeria. You find out about the recall only after waking up in the emergency room.

I wish I had a personal ATM filled with money that wouldn't deduct money from my checking account when I made withdrawals from it.

[underwhere]

Here is your fiat. Oh, sorry, no. I don't know how to get it down from the top of the Eiffel Tower.

I wish that transporter room technology, such as exists in the world of Star Trek, would be commercialized for public usage so I wouldn't have to rely on public transportation or taxis.

[Baby Johnny]

Granted, but the first time you use it you end up in limbo unable to ever materialize.

I wish I had a beer.

[Juliabam]

Granted, but the first time you use it you end up in limbo unable to ever materialize.

I wish I had a beer.

Granted, you get a special non alcoholic prison beer, it tastes like pee and infact the prisonguards have peed in it.

I wish BJ would get out soon, maybe let abrera take his place instead..

[:dlb]

Granted, but when you get home you find out it was sold to somebody else and has new owners living in it.

Wish i had some lobster for dinner tonight.

[Juliabam]

Granted, but when you get home you find out it was sold to somebody else and has new owners living in it.

Wish i had some lobster for dinner tonight.

Granted you had some lobster for dinner tonight, it slipped out of the hands of the guy at the neigghbour table and hit you in the eye so you had to have both lobster and eye removed.

I wish they will give dlb a pretty glass eye with cute pink and purple patterns in..

[Baby Johnny]

Granted, but it kept falling out so they transplanted one of yours into him.

I wish the jail was transported to another dimension.

[Juliabam]

Granted, but it kept falling out so they transplanted one of yours into him.

I wish the jail was transported to another dimension.

Granted but in this new dimension, all pee ple inside prisoncells have their teeth pulled, and are only fed raw carrots.

I wish they let me keep both my eyes and teach dlb to learn to live with his new fancy super pretty glass eye.

[Baby Johnny]

Granted. Both your eyes are in formaldehyde stored within a glass jar on your bookshelf and dlb glass eye has been updated with cybernetics and works better than his original.

Fortunately, I can used my fingernails to break off pieces and swallow the carrots.

I wish to spend the day enjoying my carrots.

[Juliabam]

Granted. Both your eyes are in formaldehyde stored within a glass jar on your bookshelf and dlb glass eye has been updated with cybernetics and works better than his original.

Fortunately, I can used my fingernails to break off pieces and swallow the carrots.

I wish to spend the day enjoying my carrots.

<<--<- Throws pickled eyes at BJ and laughs.. HAhahaHAaaa those where sheeps eyes, I had my real ones in my pocket..pops eyes in place and reads what BJ wished..

Granted, you enjoyed your carrots, you played puppet or was it poopit theatre with them all day, your idea of chipping small pieces off with your nail didn't work, you had your nails pulled too during a torture they did to find out where you had hidden the key you had made out of carrots.

I wish BJ could grow new teeth <-<-BJ big smile...

[:dlb]

Granted, but they keep growing right through his cheeks and need removed.

Wish i had a baby bottle of ginger ale right now.

[Juliabam]

Granted you do.

I wish to use my new godmoding powers to reset everybody to before Chunk 0001A was created.

Granted, you get to use your godmoding powers, but the reset button fails and your power is wasted.

i wish abrera was not able to godmode but always had to play a submissive part.

[underwhere]

Granted. I press a little red button expecting everything to be reset back to what it was before Chunk 0001A was created. Unfortunately, the software embedded in the button was only in alpha testing, and nobody told me. As a result, pressing the button causes a giant black hole to develop sucking everything within ten thousand miles of it into the black hole.

I wish to get out of the black hole and be restored to some semblance of normalcy.

[Baby Johnny]

Granted. You are out of the hole, but as you are floating in space without a suit your body rips to pieces.

I wish a new universe was created by the black hole.

[Juliabam]

Granted. You are out of the hole, but as you are floating in space without a suit your body rips to pieces.

I wish a new universe was created by the black hole.

Granted, a back up of the universe from yesterday is read in to the god computer, and evrything is now back to where it was yesterday morning.

So here we go again...

Granted, you enjoyed your carrots, you played puppet or was it poopit theatre with them all day, your idea of chipping small pieces off with your nail didn't work, you had your nails pulled too during a torture they did to find out where you had hidden the key you had made out of carrots.

I wish BJ could grow new teeth <-<-BJ big smile...

[lilwetone]

Granted, he can, but he will bite you.

I wish once again to godmode this universe to pre-chunk 0001A with no consequences that affect the earth or anybody on it.

Granted, but once everything is set back to pre-Chunk 0001A, everyone forgets what happened after that and repeats everything exactly the same

I wish for Pie!

[underwhere]

Granted: the macross timeline intersects with this one. However, because of the Uncertainty Principle of physics, nobody knows both exactly when and exactly where the timeline intersects at the speed and velocity we have been traveling. As a result, nobody knows where the macross timeline intersects with this one relative to where we are now, so we go right by it several times without noticing.

I wish people didn't enjoy corrupting wishes so much.

[:dlb]

Granted, but this universe has no diapers or anything babyish.

I wish I had a girlfriend.

[Juliabam]

Granted, here's jonn... erm i mean joanna.

Seeing as we have intersected with the macross timeline it doesn't matter at which point we are, we're either on a new planet or on inhabitable spaceships. Either way the story is forced onwards.

I wish to be the greatest leader this timeline has ever seen.

Granted you will be.. infact you are.. because, with reference to previously mentioned uncertainty principles, it turns out you were the only one who crossed. The rest of us are still happily enjoying eachother back on earth, and now infact enjoying eahcothers company even more because we got rid of that horrible person who fought so insistingly to be the greatest leader well knowing he couldn't carry the burden.

I wish abrera will come back to earth, now well more wise on what happens if you try to mess with nature, and accepts his status as a squirrel.