Corrupt-a-wish

[underwhere]

Granted. Here is your eggnog. Unfortunately, the expiration date was from 4 weeks ago. You drink it anyway, because you've had a craving for eggnog, and get horribly sick.

I wish to be a Pulitzer Prize winning author.

[:dlb]

Granted, but somebody finds out you plagiarized and lose your award and are sued for all you're worth.

Wish I had a new kitten.

[underwhere]

Granted: you HAD a new kitten. That was about 8 years ago, though. Now, your kitten is old and dying of a horrible kitten disease.

I wish I was skilled enough to be paid to be a major league baseball player, and that some team would sign me to a multi-year multi-million dollar contract.

[Baby Johnny]

Granted. However, you were killed in a car accident on the way to the park for your first practice session.

I wish to meet some of you in person.

[Juliabam]

Granted. However, you were killed in a car accident on the way to the park for your first practice session.

I wish to meet some of you in person.

Granted you met some of abrera in person, last night he needed to poop terribly on his way home from the pub, so he sat behind a bush and did his thing, this morning when you walked the dog you accidentially stepped in the *some* of abrera and ruined your brand new dancing shoes..

I wish to build a nest for abrera, I think abreras are a kind of birds..

[Baby Johnny]

Granted. You build a nest and it leaves you so tired you fall asleep in it. Upon waking up, you find Abrera is nesting on top of you and you are trapped permanently in the nest.

I wish it would stop raining as I am going to spend a few hours outside.

[:dlb]

Granted it stops raining.. But after you go out it starts to snow and sleet.

I wish I had a new 60 inch tv.

[Juliabam]

Granted it stops raining.. But after you go out it starts to snow and sleet.

I wish I had a new 60 inch tv.

Granted, you now have a brand tv with a thickness of 60 inches.

I wish to escape from abreras nest...

[maly]

Granted, you now have a brand tv with a thickness of 60 inches.

I wish to escape from abreras nest...

Granted you leave abreras nest .... However..

Being that you were in the nest so long, and the fact that "The Abrera" laid an egg on you, that somehow you were absorded(as everyone knows "resistance is futile".)

And you are know part julia and part abrera... thus you are now an "Abrerabam!".

I wish for three more wishes.

[underwhere]

Granted: you've cleared that up, but nobody believes you.

I wish the business cards I ordered were done correctly.

[:dlb]

Granted, you were given a copy of The Cure, -it's either a song or a band i'm not sure..

I wish I could travel to Europe.

[underwhere]

You've been granted an all expense paid trip to travel all over Europe. Unfortunately, due to global warming melting all of the ice in the world, by the time you get to Europe, the entire continent will be underwater, so you won't see anything but ocean.

I wish that Monopoly money could be used as legitimate currency outside of the game of Monopoly.

[:dlb]

Granted, but you must pay all your nieghbors a large dividend leaving you flat broke.

I wish I had a hot girlfriend.

[Baby Johnny]

Granted. You ugly girlfriend has a normal temperature of 105.

I wish to sail over the flooded Europe.

[Juliabam]

Granted. You ugly girlfriend has a normal temperature of 105.

I wish to sail over the flooded Europe.

Granted, but due to the collaps in the american economi, you can only afford to buy a used raft made of old flagpoles from government buildings, the flagpoles are rotten, and you sink before you get half the way..

I wish for the moon to turn true blue...

[underwhere]

Granted: the moon turns true blue. This sets off a mass fear and hysteria all over the world with people believing the moon has been invaded by aliens from another planet or solar system with the intent of destroying the earth. The hysteria is misplaced (there are no aliens), but because of the hysteria, nuclear power plants are left unguarded, and an evil underground group collects volunteers from all over the world to set the nuclear power plants on fire, causing massive destruction and loss of lives in the ensuing nuclear explosions and fallout.

I wish that people would consider alternative possibilities rather than reacting to the first thing which enters their thoughts.

[:dlb]

Granted, but these possibilities turn out be be no good.

I wish I had a mommy/gf or whatever who just came in and realizes I had a diaper blowout.

[Juliabam]

Granted, but they leave you there as punishment.

I wish that "I tried so hard and got so far."

Granted, you did, and got so far, but only so far and far from far enough.

I wish abrera had tried a little harder..

[Baby Johnny]

Granted. He tries harder and gets all the way to your living room so now you're stuck with him.

I wish someone would feed me my bottle.

[underwhere]

Granted. Your bottle is empty. I feed it to you anyway.

I wish that I lived in a parallel universe where nobody was purposefully cruel to anybody else.

[:dlb]

Granted, but nobody lives there but cats and dogs.

I wish I had my own vineyard.

[Juliabam]

Granted, but nobody lives there but cats and dogs.

I wish I had my own vineyard.

Granted you have your own vineyard, but the grapes have gone sour, and it leaves you with a chronic condition where your mouth will be all wrinkled up so it looks like a cats anus.

I wish I could move my legs so I could kick abrera out of my living room.

[underwhere]

Okay, you can move your legs. However, you discover that your arms are tied behind your back, and your waist is tied to the recliner, so you can't get up to kick abrera out of your living room. I imagine abrera will bide his time and taunt you further by tickling you.

I wish there were no advertisements on television or radio.

[Baby Johnny]

Granted. They have stopped broadcasting regular programing and now only do paid programming 24/7.

I wish to spend Thanksgiving at my sister's in NY.

[Juliabam]

Granted. They have stopped broadcasting regular programing and now only do paid programming 24/7.

I wish to spend Thanksgiving at my sister's in NY.

Granted, you spend Thanksgiving at your sisters in NY. You'll have an all american traditional thanksgiving starting with your head getting stuck in the turkey, followed by getting your butt stuck in the sofa during the football game, then the stomach ache from eating too much yams and craneberrry sauce, ending with a huge american traditional thanksgiving family fight ending at the police station in a one room cell.

I wish BJ and his family will be friends soon again, after the police let them out.