Corrupt-a-wish

[Yvhuce]

Granted, nobody does, because Yvhhuce's internet is incapable of sending such large files and all any of them got were corrupted partial files. Plus, they only got send to 3 people and a few automated billing systems. However, now major gaming companies don't like him very much.

I wish eveyone else was also stuck with 8-21k internet connections, like me.

[Bonsai]

[Why such a cruel wish...]

Granted, now internet connection runs really slow for everybody.

Huge crowds in front of banks and post offices because "the system" is in default, stock market suspended, all public offices including police and hospitals unable to acces to online databases... Global collapse and we are back at the smokey signals.

Than everybody discovers who wished for this, and misteriously obtained it.

I wish Yvhuce can find a good place to hide while the large procession with scythes and torches chases him for the next 5 years.

[Yvhuce]

Even better than granted. Yvhuce has a rather large family who supports his wish and wanted this sort of thing to happen. And they're armed to the teeth. The Ruger .480 causes most of the crowd to crap their pants and run away before being fired. The splattering of the leader of those who stayed causes most of the rest to run off. Those who persist are gunned down in short order. Now, he as to put up with his family...

I wish the next society that arises won't be so cruel to those who can't afford to keep up with technology, thus preventing such wishes from happening again...

[Bonsai]

Granted, we remain at Stone Age level with a perfect Socialist society for the next 10.000 years.

Then, aliens come and enslave us because we are unable to defend our world.

I wish slavery under the aliens is in merciful conditions.

[Juliabam]

granted very mercyfull, every time they beat you for not following order fast enough, they give you a local anastethic first, so you won't feel the pain until you get home in the evening and wish you then could just fall asleep

I wish my alien defender will be strong enough, and make me the new world hero for saving the earth

[Bonsai]

Sure enough, Julia's defender is strong enough and after an heroic saving, she becomes our new dictator.

She is much less merciful and requires double speed order execution than with aliens. Who cannot keep up is punished with additional nighttime workshifts instead of sleeping.

I wish humans are strong enough to save the Earth from Julia's domination.

[WetAmy]

Wish Granted. The people mass together and overthrow Julia. However, with the lower brain capacity from living in the stone age they continue their mob like fury and begin destroying the earth.

I wish people were more eco-friendly.

[freswith]

Granted. People are more eco-friendly and revert to using real cloth nappies.

Unfortunately the disposable diaper industry goes broke and precipitates a deep depression which means we can no longer afford nice eco-friendly solutions.

[Bonsai]

Since Freshwith made no wishes, I wish for him to never gives up!

[freswith]

Freswith wishes for a little bit of summer!

[Yvhuce]

Granted. A warm front moves in and freswith is treated to 3 months of drought and 115F temperatures, plus whatever the heat index is.

I wish that instead of "winter, spring, summer, fall", the cycle would go "summer 1, fall 1, spring 1, summer 2, fall 2, spring 2".

[Bonsai]

Basically, you wish for no Winter...

The exact same thing all seasonal pests (especially mosquitoes) have ever wished. Now, with no winter, there is no death season for them and they can grow and multiply all year round.

I wish for a more effective but less unpleasant-for-humans mosquito repellent.

[Juliabam]

Grante from a mutation between a puppy and the old schoolteacher grows The Friendly Mother In Law, she smacks the mosquitos but only strokes you friendly on the cheak, as long as you remember to come by at least every second day to eat her rubbery cookies, drink her thin tea(have ration the stuff, you never knows when the war wiell break out again) and not to forget you must remember to bring her fresh magaizines so her tiny rat dog has somewhere to pee

I wish for a reality check on that grant.

[Bonsai]

The grant above is found FALSE. Reality is that the supposed Friendly Mother In Law is an undercover Mossad agent hunting for Nazis and the tea is an LSD-based truth serum. She however remains very effective also agains mosquitoes.

I wish for a tight but confortable straightjacket for anyone who thinks to be completely normal.

[freswith]

Granted. Tight but comfortable straitjackets become the fashion tothe point it is unacceptable not to own one. Nobody wears them, of course, except Bonsai.

I wish I could wake up in the mornings.

[Yvhuce]

Granted. Now you suffer from insomnia and wake up at about midnight and can't get back to sleep until around 11:30pm. Every night.

I hope freswith gets some effective sleep medicine, cause insomnia sucks.

[Guest *~Andi~*]

granted. freswith now has effective insomnia medicine, but after reading the back of the medicine bottle he realizes he has every one of them including anal leakage and believe it or not more insomnia! (read the headache bottles, *this medicine may cause headaches, even tho thats what you are trying t get rid of! makes sense right?)

I wish I didnt have the most horrendous cold in the world right now even tho I live in Texas.

[underwhere]

Granted, but you still have the most horrendous cold. The only difference now is you live in Florida.

I wish that there will be no more death and destruction as the result of natural disasters.

[Guest *~Andi~*]

Granted but since there is still violence via stupidity of some people, the world just got a heck of a lot uglier.

I wish I could live in Disneyworld!!!!

[Yvhuce]

Granted. You now live at Disneyworld. And in doing so, you learn all of the horrific truths that Disney is able to hide from the public. Also, you have to share the place with a lot of stray cats, half of which are rabid or otherwise diseased.

I wish for a ban on sex and romance in movies and TV.

[underwhere]

Granted. Now there is no TV and no movies.

I wish for the poor souls who are left without jobs, because of the shutdown of the TV and movie industry, to find good paying satisfying jobs elsewhere within the economy.

[freswith]

Granted; they find good satidfying jobs in the Ministry of Truth and the Secret Police.

I hope Work Unit Underwhere remembers to blow his nose and wipe his ass and not upset the Government with all this Diaper-lover perversion stuff..

[Yvhuce]

Granted. All goes as planned. And after it's done and everyone is going home, the top secret computer activates a program. The program ensures that everyone will have to wear diapers and that free diapers will be provided for them.

I wish for everyone to have a nice day.

[Guest *~Andi~*]

Granted everyone has a nice day because they dont have to go to work, the bills are paid, no one complains, everyone is super sticky sweet and nice to everyone else, plus the weather is perfect outside, all the kids are out playing and having fun and making all kinds of noise. The world is at peace and truth be told its a little bit sickening so you get shot... by me. Hope you enjoyed your nice day.

I wish that Dr. Pepper had no calories and was as nutritious as water, so I could drink more than just one a day!

[underwhere]

Granted: Dr Pepper now has no calories and is as nutritious as water....water running through a pipe with lead paint. As a result, you die of lead paint poisoning.

That wish having been granted, I wish to eliminate all lead paint, from the past, present, and future.