Corrupt-a-wish

[freswith]

Baby Tiana gets to like back letters, but a drastic change in government regulation means that these have to be restricted to black paper.

I wish Baby Tiana a decent job running the library.

[Juliabam]

Baby Tiana gets to like back letters, but a drastic change in government regulation means that these have to be restricted to black paper.

I wish Baby Tiana a decent job running the library.

Granted she will be running the library, up and down the streets, but is overtaken by a library bus with a real motor in it, and loses her job because she didn't run as fast as the bus did.

I wish freswith will be the new runner, so we know where we have him (in case they should call and say they had a vacant bed for him at the funny farm)

[freswith]

(Just when I was trying to be nice to Julia! Look what she does!)

Granted; Freswith runs the library straight round to Murky Joes's where he sells all the valuable tomes for a huge profit, which enables him to endow the Grande Maison de Redressment des Salopes at St Tropez with himself as Monsignor Inquisitor. One bed is permanently reserved for Juliabam. (The nails are sharpened weekly.)

I wish Julia a pleasant stay.

[Juliabam]

(Just when I was trying to be nice to Julia! Look what she does!)

Granted; Freswith runs the library straight round to Murky Joes's where he sells all the valuable tomes for a huge profit, which enables him to endow the Grande Maison de Redressment des Salopes at St Tropez with himself as Monsignor Inquisitor. One bed is permanently reserved for Juliabam. (The nails are sharpened weekly.)

I wish Julia a pleasant stay.

And you think not, that wanting you the best care in the world and therfore needing to make sure you can be found the minute a bed is ready, is being nice to you ?

Oh my stays will allways be pleasant, but that's because they're always stay away from you' s.

I wish someone would hide a tracking device in a bug and trick freswith to eat it

[Jabez]

Granted, a tracking device was hidden in a bug and eaten by Freswith at Julia's bidding. Unfortunately the tracking devices got switched at some point and Freswith is now being tracked by a secret assassin.

I really hope the assassin discovers this grave error before knocking Freswith off.

[freswith]

Granted. Secret assassin recognises Freswith as his benevolent former employer and mentor who made him the heartless evil killer he is today. The tracking device is returned to Julia in the state in which it was recovered,

.

I wish I could have lunch with Julia someday, perhaps somewhere safe like a bombing range where the resultant explosion wouldn't cause much damage. The meeting would be memorable.

[Juliabam]

Granted. Secret assassin recognises Freswith as his benevolent former employer and mentor who made him the heartless evil killer he is today. The tracking device is returned to Julia in the state in which it was recovered,

.

I wish I could have lunch with Julia someday, perhaps somewhere safe like a bombing range where the resultant explosion wouldn't cause much damage. The meeting would be memorable.

Granted, you and Julia plan a date on the bomb range, you decide to come early but unfortunately they are still testing the new amphibian explosive device as you set up the table, you end up in hospital with a bad case of gas, Julia got cought in traffic and decided to drive back home and pretend she forgot all about your date.

I wish the hospital have windows that can open wide before the gas leaves freswith

[freswith]

Unfortunately the hospital explodes causing hundreds of casualties, except, by some freak, Freswith, who walks out minus his eyebrows.

I wish Julia much indigestion from missing her free meal.

[Juliabam]

Unfortunately the hospital explodes causing hundreds of casualties, except, by some freak, Freswith, who walks out minus his eyebrows.

I wish Julia much indigestion from missing her free meal.

Granted Julia suffers for a moment but fortunately she had learned that putting a stone in her mouth and succking on it would remove the pain of an empty stomach

I wish freswith would have known that so he wouldnt have to suffer from the giant hole in his stomach that the amphibian explosive device had left

[freswith]

Freswith has always had a giant hole in his stomach, which made him Henry Moore's favourite model.

I wish Julia the one thing she really hates; a day of sweetness and light with nothing on which to vent her bitterness.

[Juliabam]

Freswith has always had a giant hole in his stomach, which made him Henry Moore's favourite model.

I wish Julia the one thing she really hates; a day of sweetness and light with nothing on which to vent her bitterness.

Granted, Julia had a real bad day with easterbunnies tickling her with feathers all day long and kissing her neck all night.

Unfortunately the easterbunnies couldn't find their way out of the house so the day after Julia invites all neighbours to easter dinner where she was serving rabbits or them all.

I wish freswith will return that rabbit suit before he also gets cooked.

[freswith]

Granted Freswith returns his rabbit suit to the Playboy Club.

I hope Julia remembers her Bunny Dip

[Juliabam]

Granted Freswith returns his rabbit suit to the Playboy Club.

I hope Julia remembers her Bunny Dip

Julia remebers to dip the bunny, in freswiths pond so he now have to live with bunny hair in his soup

I hope freswith knows where to buy bunny hair remover

[freswith]

Freswith has fond memories of Playboy Bunnies from his long years of study before graduating as a Dirty Old Man (1st Class, with three Trotters).

Freswith wishes he was young again (But not that young, Julia).

[Juliabam]

Granted freswith is now 20 years old, but unfortunately her majesty thinks thats the best age for a frog to be send afghanistan to fight in the war. unfortunately freswith gets too close to an ied and the rest of the war is fed froglegs for dinner.

I wish freswith would have had some smaller feet.

[Natey]

Granted freswith however's feet turn bright orange with purple spots and smell like vinegar and rotten sushi.

I wish there was less pollen in the air so I won't get sick all spring.

[Juliabam]

Granted freswith however's feet turn bright orange with purple spots and smell like vinegar and rotten sushi.

I wish there was less pollen in the air so I won't get sick all spring.

Granted there is less pollen in the air, it is now laying as a thick cover on evrything, so you hav to move very slowly to not whirl it up in the air again

I still wish I had a bat, I tried to make my dog a flying dog, but she keeps falling down.

[Natey]

Granted there is less pollen in the air, it is now laying as a thick cover on evrything, so you hav to move very slowly to not whirl it up in the air again

I still wish I had a bat, I tried to make my dog a flying dog, but she keeps falling down.

Granted however when ever you wear something nice your bat turns into a giant fly vat of blue slimy gooey stuff that pours all over you when ever you put on nice clothing ruining them.

I wish that my sore neck would feel better NOW.

[Guest NaughtyAshes]

Granted however when ever you wear something nice your bat turns into a giant fly vat of blue slimy gooey stuff that pours all over you when ever you put on nice clothing ruining them.

I wish that my sore neck would feel better NOW.

Granted your sore neck feels better but only in comparison to the rest of your body which is now covered in 3rd degree burns.

I wish that I was carried around on a silk pillow by several hot guys.

[Juliabam]

Granted your sore neck feels better but only in comparison to the rest of your body which is now covered in 3rd degree burns.

I wish that I was carried around on a silk pillow by several hot guys.

Granted, several hot guys carry you around on a silk pillow, unfortunately the guys are so hot that they incinerates you and the pillow, so now you are in fact really ashes.

I wish ashes will find a good jar to rest in!

[maly]

Granted. I just bought a jam jar from a junk shop for your ashes.

I wish freswith and juliabam get married!

[Guest NaughtyAshes]

Granted. I just bought a jam jar from a junk shop for your ashes.

I wish freswith and juliabam get married!

Granted.

I wish I could get paid to sit on my ass and do nothing.

[Juliabam]

Granted.

I wish I could get paid to sit on my ass and do nothing.

Granted, you get my job. Unfortunately you'll suffer from preassure sores within a week and you will have to spend the next month laying on your stomach while your skin heals

I wish ashes remembers to bring a lot of books!

[freswith]

Ashes brings lots of books, which includes on on how to lie on your stomack for a month, (Author: Freswith)

I wish that the big wedding planned above will be attended by the Police Riot Squad, a Mobile Army Surgical Hospital, a pathologist and a coroner.

[Guest Baby Tiana]

Granted, as your wedding guests attire must be customs.

I wish I had a cheat-cheat sheet for life, or a book with all of lifes answers.