Corrupt-a-wish

[Juliabam]

Granted, George -lucas didn't ruin star wars trilogy. Infact, he never ruined anything. He didn't even break open on single roll of new unexposed film, and star wars therefore never existed.

I wish someone else had made another similar movie!

[underwhere]

Granted: somebody did, but it was a high budget, poor acting, poor script writing, poorly directed film. Nobody went to see it, and the studio that produced it was forced out of business from the losses.

I wish to write script for an award winning film.

[Baby Johnny]

Granted, you write the script, but can't get anybody to use it. Julia finds it in your trash and gets the film made and keeps all the money.

I wish underwhere enjoys his film.

[underwhere]

Granted: I enjoy my film, but I grow bitter that Juliabam stole all of the profits out from under me. As a result, I become a maniacal stalker of Juliabam.

I wish that somebody is able to find me and put a stop to my actions before I do any harm to anybody, and that all rightful profits due to me for my original script are paid to me in full.

[Baby Johnny]

Granted, you are locked up in a mental hospital to prevent you from harming yourself or anyone else. Given you trashed the script, the judge rules your rightful share of the profits is the nothing you already received.

I wish underwhere might someday be able to live a life without thoughts of revenge.

[jediaper]

Granted: the mental hospital preformed a frontal lobotomy on underwhere, so he no longer has thoughts of revenge, or any other thoughts for that matter.

I wish I had a lifetime supply of all my favorite diapers.

[freswith]

Granted your lifetime supply is delivered by a large cadaverous gentleman dressed in a black cloak and carrying an hourglass and a scythe. It consists of just one diaper.

I iwsh I could think of a good incorruptable wish.

[underwhere]

Granted: you could think of one, but you don't.

I wish that the banks and car manufacturers did not need any government bailout money because they had been better managed.

[jediaper]

Granted: unfortunately the put all their effort into how their companies are managed and then produced crappy cars that get 5MPG and break down and catch fire as soon as you drive them off the lot and the banks only deal in the now obsolete deutch mark.

I wish someone would take all the best features of all the best diapers and combine them to make a diaper who's quality transcends all other diapers.

[freswith]

Granted. They do. Unfortunately they never need changing or replacing, so the inventor (1) saturates the market (2) and then goes bust.

(1) Pun Warning: prepare to cringe!

(2) Pun over. All Clear. Relax

I wish I didn't have to be creative so soon after a good lunch.

[underwhere]

Granted: you now only have bad lunches.

I wish this game didn't promote evil thinking.

[Juliabam]

Granted: you now only have bad lunches.

I wish this game didn't promote evil thinking.

Granted, it didn't..until someone changed the agenda. -now you will be punished hard for not atleast showing ability to want to think evil thoughts atleast once in a while.

I wish underwear will not have to learn the hard way!!!

[attends_99]

Granted!!!! He doesn't learn the hard way he learns the extraordinarily hard way.

I wish I was living alone so i could get back to the business of wearing diapers, I wish I had a job and I wish I had a woman. (I know that's more than A wish, but darnit I'm a dreamer )

[Baby Johnny]

Granted, you have a job wearing diapers and a woman that can't live with you. Given you have everything you want, you have no reason to keep on living and die.

I wish I could find a 30 year old or older woman that I get along with as well as the 18 and 19 year olds I am messaging.

[Juliabam]

Granted, you have a job wearing diapers and a woman that can't live with you. Given you have everything you want, you have no reason to keep on living and die.

I wish I could find a 30 year old or older woman that I get along with as well as the 18 and 19 year olds I am messaging.

Granted, you now live with a 30 year older woman. Your 85 year old 'wife' suffers from severe dementia, so she giggles just like shy teenager everytime you say something to her - If she remembers what it means to be spoken to or how to giggle. Most of the time, she just sists in a corner and play with her barbie dolls, but you can't leave her alone and go out for yourself because you know she will set the house on fire if left unattended.

I wish BJ will find someone a little younger next time!

[freswith]

BJ finds someone a lot younger, but she's still in nappies.

I wish I could find the answer to life, the universe and everything.

[Juliabam]

BJ finds someone a lot younger, but she's still in nappies.

I wish I could find the answer to life, the universe and everything.

Granted, you've found it. The answer is behind this door. You now have two ooptions, you can walk away, knowing you have founde the answer but not seen it, or you can open the door, and be sucked into eternity where nothing exists and existance is nothing, you will know the answer but you will not more exist, rendering your newly found knowledge worthless and practically unknown to existing mankind.

I wish freswith will make a clever decision!

[freswith]

Granted. Freswith dusts the door for fingerprints and found a set matching Bill Gates. He therefore assumes that Microsoft has discovered the secret and copyrighted it.

Besides, I know the answer. It's forty-two.

I wish I had gone to bed an hour ago, as I have a job interview tomorrow.

[Baby Johnny]

Granted, the world sets their clocks back one hour so you can get your beauty sleep. However, you still fail to go to bed and sleep though the interview.

I wish Freswith gets another interview.

[Juliabam]

granted, on his way to the jobinterview a plane crashes on the roof of his car. (un )fortunately he survives but his car will never be the same. BBC thinks the story is so great that they offer him a 10 second exclusive interview and being so green that he is, he thinks its a fantastic offer and accepts. Later he finds out that CNN was prepared to pay 6 digit amounts for a much longer interview, but since BBC had exclusive rights he just had to turn it down.

I wish freswith will be hit by yet another aircraft and this time wait for CNN to arive.

[freswith]

Job interview went well - thank you for your kind wishes - but the second interview will be a three-hour drive away, or seventy quid in train fares. Oh Smegging Hell!

I wish somebody would pay me expenses for the journey.

[underwhere]

Somebody pays freswith's expenses for the trip with a rubber check, and since nobody knows who it was, freswith is liable for all of the charges plus bounced check fees.

I wish to be able to learn computer programming languages effortlessly.

[Baby Johnny]

Granted, I download the 60 different programing languages I know straight into your brain, unfortunately you also get my feeling of never wanting to see another computer again so it is all useless.

I wish I could unlearn all of the programing languages I know so they won't cause me anymore nightmares.

[Juliabam]

granted, a gasleakage in your house leaves you uncontious for a long time, and when you wake up, you learn you have suffered a major braindamage causing you to forget anything that happened later than a minute ago. As you read this post, you forgot you started reading it, and you will therefore read it over and over again, never knowing what is going on.

I wish BJ doesn't have any important appointment!

[freswith]

Granted BJ makes a full recovery from his unconscious (Scio = I know) state and relearns the English language so he can correct Julia's erratic spellings.

I wish Julia would stop mangling the English language; if a frog can spell, then why can't she?

Presumably Julia is thinking of town gas, which contains carbon monoxide, from which you are unlikely ever to recover consciousness. In the civilised world, we use methane, which is not toxic. Most would-be suicides then get bored with waiting to be poisoned, and some absent-mindedly light a cigarette...