Corrupt-a-wish

[Juliabam]

Granted, he goes on vacation to Fiji and doesn't need to deal with his wife for the next few days....or months...or years....however long it takes for the rescue team comes or he can repair the plane with coconuts.

I wish someone would get me out of this coma. I got things to do!

The Angel of Hope,

Alice

Granted, you're gently taken out of the medical induced coma and is technically ready to continue life, but amnesia keeps you from remembering what it was you had to do!

I wish new research in stemcell technology will help bring alices memory back so he will remember what it was that he had forgotten he had to do before his coma ruined his memory so he forgot what it was he was supposed to remember to not forget to do!

[freswith]

Granted; he recovers his memory - all of it - including the tenner you owe him,

I hope I get the job I'm going for on Friday. (I'm damn glad I didn't get the one who went for me today!)

[underwhere]

Granted: You get the job on Friday. However, on Monday, you, along with everybody else in the whole world, discover that the president of the company has been swindling money from the company for years, so you are forced back to the unemployment line because the company can no longer afford to pay you as it goes bankrupt.

I wish freswith better luck with his next job.

[Baby Johnny]

Granted, he gets offered a job for massive amounts of money and no responsibility, but decides he isn't willing to do nothing so he turns it down.

I wish to stay in Fiji forever.

[underwhere]

Granted: For once in the history of Fiji, a huge flood comes dropping 10 feet of water in its wake. You drown in the water, thus becoming a permanent (dead) resident of Fiji.

I wish I didn't actually need any sleep to function properly.

[Alice-chan]

Granted, you no longer need sleep but you now need a cup of coffee every thirteen minutes or else your body goes into a comatose state that you can never get out of.

I wish I knew what a tenner is.

The Angel of Hope,

Alice

[Juliabam]

Granted, you no longer need sleep but you now need a cup of coffee every thirteen minutes or else your body goes into a comatose state that you can never get out of.

I wish I knew what a tenner is.

The Angel of Hope,

Alice

Granted you now know what a tenner is, and gives me 2 fivers to compensate for the work teaching you!

I wish alice had paid me more!

[freswith]

Granted. Alice pays you more. More Deutchmarks, Lira, Pesetas, Drachmae, Escudos and French Francs but nothing in negotiable currency.

I wish I had a can of beer to go with my supper.

[Juliabam]

Granted. Alice pays you more. More Deutchmarks, Lira, Pesetas, Drachmae, Escudos and French Francs but nothing in negotiable currency.

I wish I had a can of beer to go with my supper.

Grated, you had a can of beer, but no tools to open it with, so in your frustration you decided to try and open it by throwing it hard onto the pavement and it worked...Unfortunately your sticky tongue is designed for catching flies, not to lick up beer from the pavement, so you go to bed with a very dry mouth.

I wish freswith will learn to pinch tiny holes in a beercan with a nappypin!

[freswith]

Granted. Unfortunately the nappy pin goes hopelessly blunt, and I have to make do with gin yet again.

I wish I had some Bombay Sapphire

[Juliabam]

Granted you have a bottle of bombay saphire. but it tastes like eating a christmas tree, and you're not a treefrog so you end up having to drink the second best clear drink you can find - water. The rest of the evening you spend trying to convince Freddie that water & tonic indeed is a great drink!

I wish freswith will learn to drink his tonic on the rocks with no water!

[attends_99]

Granted you have a bottle of bombay saphire. but it tastes like eating a christmas tree, and you're not a treefrog so you end up having to drink the second best clear drink you can find - water. The rest of the evening you spend trying to convince Freddie that water & tonic indeed is a great drink!

I wish freswith will learn to drink his tonic on the rocks with no water!

Granted!!!! Sadly the rocks are real rocks and the water that would have gone in his drink gets poured over you.

I wish that I would come home to find a beautiful woman waiting for me.

[underwhere]

Granted: a beautiful woman, the most beautiful you have ever seen, is waiting for you with a loaded handgun. Aiming it at your head, she tells you that you will do everything she says, and because you value your life, you do. However, after draining your bank account and taking all of your possessions, she shoots you anyway laughing maniacally in the process.

I wish that many many people will visit the grave sight of attends_99 and plant lots of flowers to make something beautiful out of this mess.

[Baby Johnny]

Granted every member of this web site and all of their friends & family visit attends grave planting flowers. They knock down houses (yours included) and other buildings (your work include) to make room for the flowers. Now, there are no homes or work for the people who lived or worked within 50 miles of you, but there is a wonderful flower garden to enjoy (Ripley's world's biggest garden record holder).

I wish the people underwhere inconvenienced never learn it is his fault.

[freswith]

Granted. They blame the governemt andstart a revolution which ends up in a reign of terror.

I wish that when the revolution comes I will have a steady job driving the tumbrel.

[Alice-chan]

Granted, you have a steady job.....as a garbageworker! You now have to shovel trash into landfills all day.

I wish freswith the best of luck with his new job and hopes that he can find a better job somewhere.

The Angel of Hope,

Alice

[Baby Johnny]

Granted, he enjoys his job and ends up being the boss giving his old position to you.

I wish Alice enjoys working for Freswith.

[Alice-chan]

Granted, I have such an amazing time that I end up geting a raise and winning the lottery, which means that I don't need to work anymore but since I never saved any of it, I'm forced to move out of town and back in with my parents.

I wish that my parents never find out about my other life.

The Angel of Hope,

Alice

[freswith]

Your parents never find out about your other life; they just think you a a perverted serial killer.

I wish I hadn't eaten that dodgy bat pate

[underwhere]

Okay, you didn't eat the dodgy bat pate, but instead, you eat a whole boiled frog. I understand that can possibly lead to Mad Frog Disease, but given that you are already half mad, a little more mad probably won't kill you, though it might be fun to watch.

I wish I didn't live across the hall from somebody who thinks that the only way to close the door to his room is to slam it and scare the crap out of me each time it slams.

[Baby Johnny]

granted. He no longer slams his room's door. But, he kicks your's hard every time he goes near it.

I wish someone would give underwhere ear plugs.

[freswith]

Granted. Someone gives underwhere earplugs, but once he puts them in, he cannot get them out again. He is rendered totally deaf, and forgets how to speak. Gradually, he fades away completely.

(An aged Jew lived in a seamen's hostel. Next door lived a Swedish sea-captain. Every night the Swede would come in drunk, take off his great seaboots one by one, and hurl them at the dividing wall. One day the poor old Jew plucked up the courage to ask the Swede to stop doing it, as it was driving the old fellow mad. The Swede scratched his beard, apologised, and agreed. That night he came in drunk. He pulled of his first boot, and hurled it at the wall, then he remembered his promise to the Jew, and put the other boot softly onto the floor. Half an hour later he was woken by the old Jew knocking on the door. "Would you mind throwing the other boot, please, Captain; the suspense is killing me!")

I wish racist jokes were allowed under PC rules.

[underwhere]

Granted: racist jokes are allowed under PC rules. Unfortunately, now that everybody uses a Macintosh, PC rules don't apply anymore, so your joke is still in poor taste.

I wish that all school bullies would become incontinent. (I probably wished something similar a number of years ago when I was actually going to school.)

[Alice-chan]

Granted, every person who is or was ever a bully is now incontient. However, since you were a bully once to a kind in the grade under you, you are now incontient as well. Congratulations!

I wish that underwhere would find diapers at a really low price so that he doesn't spend too much money.

[Baby Johnny]

Granted, he finds he can steal yours for no money.

I wish diapers were cheaper and better than other forms of under garments.