Corrupt-a-wish

[Newroad]

Granted the calander acceleerates to July. Unfortunately that takes us all right past christmas.

I wish I had all the cheese and crackers I could ever want.

[freswith]

You have all the cheese and crackers you could ever want, and it all clogs up your arteries and gives you a coronary.

I wish I was twenty-two and had that little blonde girl with the size 10 figure and the waist-length hair once again.

[:dlb]

Granted, ur still an ugly frog though.

I wish i had a N scale train layout.

[Juliabam]

Granted, you have the layout for a train, but it's way too complicated for you o find out how to build it, and you can't buy any of the materials since they're banned because they could also be used for bombs, and transportation of water under the ground.

I wish you messy christmas and a crappy newyear - go on, corrupt that wish and make it a fantastic holliday that we'll all hate to remember, with hugs, and warmth and pee ple snuggleing and being cosy with each other, and loots of cookies and milk, and silky soft stroking arms over your back... yes yes yeessss lets ruin the bad feelings come on.....!!!!

[freswith]

With pleasure: you have an excellent Christmas and a really good New Year, and the Jambons du President Clerc are absolutely perfect. The silky arms stroking your back belong to anybody except your mother-in-law, and the cookies and milk threaten to overwhelm you. You gain ten pounds in weight, and your worst enemy is nicked for indecent behaviour in a public lavatory. Abrera dries up and grows up, and Julia finds true love; mind you, she's scathingly rude to him out of sheer habit, and he goes off sobbing, and enlists in the French Foreign Legion for the next seven years.

And some beautiful princess kisses me and I resume my true form as a handsome prince, and carry her off to my lilypad, which sinks under the weight.

I wish I could find a buyer for my lilypad (situated right in the middle of St James' Park, London, within easy reach of the Palace, Whitehall, Pall Mall etc.)

[underwhere]

Granted. Somebody offers you exactly two pence for your lily pad. They claimed it isn't worth more than that. They would have offered you less, but it was a developer interested in putting up a high rise building, and your lily pad and the pond it was in happened to be in the way. The developer was delighted, and the pond was drained, and a high rise building went up in its place....And because you were only given two pence for your lily pad, you can't afford to by another one somewhere else.

I wish I had the skill to play professional baseball.

[freswith]

Ye Gods! A developer draining the pond in St James' Park? He had better dig his own grave first!

Granted. Underwhere develops the skill necessary to play professional baseball. Then he finds that the team manager is.... Julia!

I wish that I could get over a bad case of writer's block.

[underwhere]

Granted: you get over your writers block, with your body unscathed. However, you bought crappy pens and pencils. The pencils keep breaking, and the pens run out of ink after only one sentence. You finally resort to using your keyboard, but you accidentally spill coffee on it, and now none of the keys work. So the problem now is not your writers block, but you have no means to actually write what you are thinking about.

(oh, and sorry about the pond there, freswith, but I've seen some pretty bad things happen with this development stuff)

And now, from the serious to the absurd:

I wish a square had only 3 sides.

[Juliabam]

Granted: you get over your writers block, with your body unscathed. However, you bought crappy pens and pencils. The pencils keep breaking, and the pens run out of ink after only one sentence. You finally resort to using your keyboard, but you accidentally spill coffee on it, and now none of the keys work. So the problem now is not your writers block, but you have no means to actually write what you are thinking about.

(oh, and sorry about the pond there, freswith, but I've seen some pretty bad things happen with this development stuff)

And now, from the serious to the absurd:

I wish a square had only 3 sides.

Granted, from now on a square have only 3 sides, and are also renamed to a triangle, triangles get 4 sides and are now named square.

Actually some town squares have more or less than 3 or 4 sides, depending on the way the town have developed over years. And remember... Its hip to be square..and also knee I think.

I wish for good digestion during christmas, and all other seasons oo for that matter!

[underwhere]

Granted: You get your snow, but it comes in multiples of 10 feet at a time, the first storm burying you completely, and the second one making sure you won't ever be found again. Eventually, somebody shovels you out, but it will be too late for you, I'm afraid.

I wish that all corrupt politicians could be corrupted so they would no longer be corrupt.

[Alice-chan]

Granted: but no one knows how to be kind to one another since they spent all their time being corrupt.

I wish that pro wrestling wasn't fake.

The Angel of Hope,

Alice

[:dlb]

Granted, but now that it's real everyone is too coward to do it.

I wish my computer was faster.

[Baby Johnny]

Granted. It is so fast it burns up from the heat it produced.

I wish I was able to stay in a hotel for the next three days.

[Juliabam]

Granted. It is so fast it burns up from the heat it produced.

I wish I was able to stay in a hotel for the next three days.

Granted you're able to stay in a hotel, infact you have no fearsw of any hotels anymore, but you have a bad reputation for trashing all hotelrooms you come near, so no hotels will have you anymore!

I wish the mental hospital will let BJ stay there during christmas so he cam be among friends and not feel any fear or be alone!

[freswith]

Granted. The mental hospital lets him stay, but they put him in the cage next to yours, and his snoring keeps you awake all night.

I wish that the verdict on Abrera is guilty but incontinent, and he gets sent to a secure nursery "during Her Majesty's pleasure".

[Newroad]

Granted unfortunately Her Majesties Pleasure is a lifetime of polishing silver.

I wish that the foods I ate would'nt cause me so many problems

[Alice-chan]

Granted but his christmas is so amazing, his head explodes.

I wish I lived onext to the ocean.

The Angel of Hope,

Alice

[:dlb]

Granted, he's now pissed off and hissing at you for not paying attention.

I wish i had a new kitty

[Baby Johnny]

Granted, your new kitty is stuffed and 2 inches in size.

I wish my son would listen to the answers to his questions.

[freswith]

Granted. You overdose on sleeping pills and wake up on Friday. Santa fires you from his National Elf Service because you didn't switch the runway lights on for his return, and so he had to divert to Murmansk.

I wish everyone a Merry Christmas. It has arrived in England already.

[Alice-chan]

Granted but Everyone eggs you for already having it (Even though its christmas were I'm at too)

I wish buddhists had their own holiday (I would celebrate)

[Newroad]

Granted the a day once a year where all the beliefs and tenets are reversed. The first celebration devestates the lives of millions

I wish I could get into my presents already

[Juliabam]

Granted the a day once a year where all the beliefs and tenets are reversed. The first celebration devestates the lives of millions

I wish I could get into my presents already

Granted, here's a lovely set of pink furry handcuffs, now get into them already or I'll let your mommy know you're naughty!

[Alice-chan]

Granted. No wish was made here so your inner wish was null and void. Sorry.

I wish I found the shoes I'm looking for.

[Juliabam]

Granted, you were looking for horseshoes and found them right outside old mc donalds farm!

I wish pee ple could come up with some good wishes for me when I forget to write them myself!