Requesting Advice! Help!

[pamprdguy]

I have posted this on a couple of other sites and hoped to get some advice from some caring people and also some words of encouragement. I am not sure as to how to handle the situation and what I should do. I will give you the posts that I have made on the other sites and all I ask is for some advice as to what I should do. This was originally posted on Friday, Sept. 2nd, so it was in the past, but it is something that is not going to go away.

Orginially posted Sept. 2nd (Friday):

There is this one girl who I have been friends with for approx. 2 1/2 years now. She is one of the first people that made me feel comfortable and welcome in this town when I first moved here. I have worked with her off and on since I started my job here. Over the time we have known each other, we have become very good, close friends. She is a beautiful girl inside and out. She is one of those girls that guys on this site would probably love to see in a diaper. I admit that from time to time I have thought about what she would look like in a diaper. I know, I sound like a pervert, but I am not.

I have the utmost respect for her and always will. Her and I are so close that we could tell each other anything about what is going on in each others' lives. Yesterday, she dropped a bombshell on me that has left me speechless (and I still am speechless on the subject) and thinking of her more. I have a girlfriend already, but she is cool with my friendship with this girl. I love my girlfriend for that as she knows she can trust me. Anyways, this girl came over to my place yesterday as we were going to say our good-byes before she left to go back to school next week. I knew it was going to be a depressing night as I will miss her big time, but I never realized how hard it would be. She came to the door and I opened it. She just stood there for a seconds and said that this would end up being a quick visit (we were supposed to spend the whole evening together before I headed for work). I knew right away something was wrong as she is usually a very peppy person. She came in and sat down. I sat across from her and asked her what was wrong.

Then she said it: "I'm pregnant!!" Needless to say I was very speechless and didn't know what to say. I let her say what she had to say and sat there having a hard time believing what she just told me. Here I am a person who pictured her from time to time in diapers. Now, months down the road she will be changing diapers. On one hand, I feel really guilty for thinking of her the way I was.

I gained even more respect and admiration for her as she told me she was telling me about this before she told her parents. She actually told her sister about it earlier in the day. I knew right there and then that she respected me and could come to me about anything. I also feel bad that I didn't say too much last night to try to comfort her. But, I was speechless and didn't know really how to react and what to say. I love this girl dearly and want to be there for her whenever she needs me. So, actually I am requesting advice on what to do and how to handle this situation. What could I have said to her yesterday? How should I handle this situation? She is one of my best and closest friends and I want to do whatever I can to help her through the next nine months and beyond.

HELP!!! What do I do?

Back to the present:

She has since gone back to school (she left on Monday). I got to say my final good-byes when I saw her on Saturday at work. We discussed the situation a little more before I left to come home. The evening that she was over here, she left and got ready to go tell her boyfriend (the father) about her pregnancy. I don't know her boyfriend from Adam, but I have not heard too much good about him, even from her. So, I have some reservations about that relationship. When I saw her on Saturday I gave her a note describing my feelings towards her and the situation. I just hope I didn't say something that upset her because I haven't heard from her since. I know she has a lot on her mind and that is why I am not going to worry about it too much, but I just don't want her to shut me out of her life. I want to be there for her every step of the way. I hope to hear from her soon. Anyways, I just wanted to ask everyone for some advice on how to handle the situation and to ask whether or not I should have said anything to her that night. Hope to hear from a lot of you. I know that this not normally something a female would discuss with a male and I have told her that, but I would like to get a female's perspective on this. If you were in her shoes and I was offering help, what would you ask for? Thanks in advance.

[Pipsqueak]

From the sound of things you're already helping her. Probably the most important thing for her right now is to have someone non-judgemental to talk to. From what you've said, she's young and unprepared for this event so probably has a whole mess of emotions swirling about in her head right now. If she needs to talk - listen, and not judge. If she needs a shoulder to cry on, you can offer her yours. Since you are her friend and not her baby's father, you can only do for her what friends do, which is be there for her and support her emotionally.

What you did or did not say her to the other night doesn't matter because that moment is now lost. Tell her you understand she's going through a tough time right now and you're here for her whenever she needs a friend to talk to or just hang out with.

You sound like a lovely man and a thoughtful, caring friend. You needn't worry that you're not doing enough for her. And don't feel guilty about imagining her in diapers. I wouldn't tell her that you've done that, but don't worry about it.

[LightFolf]

I've never had to deal with that particular situation, at least directly, although one of my friends has (at least a similar version), and I've had to help friends out with a lot of different things.

Anyway, you said you're asking for advice, so I don't feel funny about giving it. But this is just based on my own experiences, and everybody is different...sometimes even the same person is different. Anyway...

Pipsqueak pretty much said what I would say, and in a shorter way. Just listening to her may be enough; certainly it's going to help. I would also suggest not trying to offer her advice unless she's looking for it, but use your own judgement on it.