Incontinence And The Sex Life

[tris]

I'm experiencing something not so rare and unusual, but I'm wondering if anyone else who is incontinent can tell me about their sex life.

I've noticed in the past few weeks, a dramatic drop in my ability to stave off ejaculation for the amount of time I used to be able to. I know I'm trying to use some of the same muscles I seek to weaken by losing bladder control, but is this something that just comes with the whole show?

So incon men, I wanna know -- Since you can't hold your pee, does the same go for ejaculate -- is it impossible to hold off?

[Creepymouse]

I haven't found that to happen yet, but I was never a 'machine' to begin with. I've found if I have sex fairly frequently, it is much easier to go for a good time before its all over. (pardon the pun)

[tris]

Mouse,

I agree! If you use it, you're in good shape for a decent stay. (that's why you box the clown before a date, guys!)

I guess what I'm getting at, (and this will get graphic -- caution, weenies!) is that the impending feeling of ejaculation is similar to the 'I have to go potty' feeling, and thus, I'm well on my way to not controlling that set of muscles, so. . Splurt! And mommy hates when I don't tell her I'm gonna cum. Especially since it seems like I'm getting a bit shorter in stamina. .

Anyone else? What's your stamina like?

[KrisNdiapers]

Im not incon, but I have low stamina and not a racehorse in bed. But I heard from a friend one can improve stamina by jogging regularly. I am sure other exercise practices may help too.

[Creepymouse]

Mouse,

I agree! If you use it, you're in good shape for a decent stay. (that's why you box the clown before a date, guys!)

I guess what I'm getting at, (and this will get graphic -- caution, weenies!) is that the impending feeling of ejaculation is similar to the 'I have to go potty' feeling, and thus, I'm well on my way to not controlling that set of muscles, so. . Splurt! And mommy hates when I don't tell her I'm gonna cum. Especially since it seems like I'm getting a bit shorter in stamina. .

Anyone else? What's your stamina like?

Yeah, I think there's a good chance that voluntary incontinence and 'staying power' as such are mutually exclusive. I suppose its possible to excercise the pelvic floor enough through sex alone to keep some tone in the muscles without using them for urine retention, but then what you have is the problem of training them to be non-functional sometimes, and fully-functional other times.

[tris]

Mouse, what are your personal experiences since being forced to be incon until the end of this year? I assume your mommy changes you, but does she understand that she's possibly limiting her sexual satisfaction with you by having you do become incontinent? If so, what's her reaction?

Maybe I'm just over-thinking this one. . . I mean, is it really necessary to go for longer than 20mins? With mama and me, 45 mins is a stretch --We'd both rather it be over by then.

[Eric D]

tris,

there are many - and I mean MANY factors attributing to "stamina" and too early ejaculation.

one being your overall "shape" - if you're healthy, have a steady heartbeat during "sportive" activity - if you have overall a good sportive endurance this will help.

Muscle control is quite important too... try voluntary "flexing" your cremaster muscle (in case you don't know what the cremaster muscle is: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cremaster_muscle)... if you can control the muscle willingly GOOD you can achieve wonderful prolonged sex without early ejaculation / orgasm ... takes some training, but well worth it

Then there are a handful of good techniques which can help to prolong things a little ... try to "listen" to your body... now interrupt the action a little (change position for example) if you feel like you'd come soon... this gives your body and brain a bit of a relax-moment where some of the built-up tension can "ease a little"...

Then there are many "breathing techniques" which can help you to prolong your sexual pleasure (and that of your girl)

Besides a hundred more things (loads of psychologically influenced stuff too) - there's your sexual partner...

if her vagina tends to be rather "tight" (or you rather big) and/or rather dry - that will generate more firction... which for many men means faster ejaculation as there is a rougher or harder stimulation... if she's dry down there a little - don't worry... if longer fore-play can't help this, don't be afraid to use some good lubricant (if you use condoms be sure to choose one which is latex safe or switch to non-latex condoms!!)... that can help too...

While "base condition" varies with most of us (some naturally can "hold it longer") - a lot depends on technique, psychology, practice and some more... most factors you can influence a lot...

for me, thirty to fourty minutes for "normal vanilla sex" in various positions is "normal"... if my girl and I feel like it we can go on for quite a bit longer (two hours or more...)... sometimes we do "quickies" too,.... some fun short things (15 minutes or so)... it depends on mood, day, time, erection (not only in sense of a stiff-one, but also "sexual mind" stuff)...

as said, psychologic aspects have a huge impact on the whole thing... if you're relaxed and enjoy it and don't have a timetable and such stuff in your mind, it helps immensly...

I usually try to make her climax first... because her orgasm (and that of most girls I had sex with (I'm a bit sexual "overactive" btw,....)) tends to take longer and last longer than mine... I have a rather good control over mine... so I try to make her VERY HAPPY (which she will thank me for in many ways ) and when she's in the middle of it I try to have mine... or a bit later....

important imho is also to be open about what you like and what she likes and what not.... be "openminded and creative" is maybe the most important factor...

medically, if you weaken your cremaster muscle and your abdominal muscles you will most likely loose "stamina"...

if that comes from your "wannabe-incontinence" then you may have found one reason not to try this...

[Creepymouse]

Ah...Mommy's not worried about lack of satisfaction *laughs* This woman is a firecracker. Sometimes she'll come if I look at her the right way.

[diaperboyMKE]

You'd think with amount of incon. people, and how hard of a thing like diaper wearing is to admit to a lover, I'd be able to find someone local to hook up with. I'm a bi male, and I enjoy diapers, so a guy who has to wear them isn't a big deal to me! I just don't know how to reach out to those guys to say "HEY, DON'T BE EMBARRASSED, it's NOT a big DEAL to me! I actually like it!"

[LordOfKarma]

just to brag ;p my wife told me she wanted me to come faster .. mwehehehe

[Eric D]

just to brag ;p my wife told me she wanted me to come faster .. mwehehehe

maybe she was getting bored...

[Tinkles123]

To answer the original question -- both my ability to hold urine and my ability to hold off ejaculation have dropped to near zero. This is a side effect of diabetes, the result of nerve damage. Just before I completely lost the ability to have normal intercourse, I had reached the point where I had only a mild pleasurable sensation. It wasn't possible for me to be sure I had actually had an orgasm at all. From what I've heard, other diabetics experience similar issues.

[Hunter1076]

Eric D

Covered almost everything with great attention to detail. Great job

One other way to help sustain and train that I use is masturbation.

Most people who masturbate are looking for the end result, and as such don't attempt to control the time doing it.

I work toward the end result, but as time grows near I stop and hold off..... After doing this for for several times, for several months, I have taught myself to go for more than an hour at a time. When forplay is added this creates a 2+ hour time frame for fun.

Like any body part, with training the human body can be taught to overcome just about anything. Breathing, heartrate or release of fluids.

Tis why I'm still working on regaining control of my bladder after the doctors said never again.....what do they know The human mind & body are an amazing machine.