Stuck Between A Rock And A Hard Place

[tris]

Instead of reading a book, why don't you hit up an an AA or NA meeting, or listen to leykis for awhile. Listen to how happy those married men are -- they all share a common bond with you right now: They sacrificed what was important to them in order to conform or do what's expected of them, or even just so they could marry a shallow 10.

I think falling in love is a little like playing blackjack with 17. If you stay, you're not gonna get very far, or even win. But if you hit, you're more likely to lose. The difference is that with both hands, you'll always see the next round. Don't be afraid to get to the next round, and don't stay with a 17, even if she's a 10.

[lynniehyde]

Instead of reading a book, why don't you hit up an an AA or NA meeting, or listen to leykis for awhile. Listen to how happy those married men are -- they all share a common bond with you right now: They sacrificed what was important to them in order to conform or do what's expected of them, or even just so they could marry a shallow 10.

I think falling in love is a little like playing blackjack with 17. If you stay, you're not gonna get very far, or even win. But if you hit, you're more likely to lose. The difference is that with both hands, you'll always see the next round. Don't be afraid to get to the next round, and don't stay with a 17, even if she's a 10.

And, definitely, definitely, do not bet "scared money".

Okay. Here's my .25 worth. (ya know...inflation)

I feel for you. But, it seems as though this woman has you running scared as to whether you'll lose her, or not. I realize that what is said in this forum is not likely to change your mind, but you might give some thought to the advice you've generated from your thread.

Cuddles,

--heidilynn

[Eric D]

I don't know you or your girl - it's hard to guess from a few lines what type of person your or she are, what background you guys have...

but for me:

in my last 27 years walking this earth I had a good number of girls - I don't want to / need to brag about numbers here - some were real relationship-material, others were just a good (or sometimes bad) one night stand and nothing more.

However I once dated this girl I really loved like a fucking madman.... if she would have said I should die on the spot - I probably would have done JUST THAT. - Her feelings were "OK" towards me, I guess she liked me, liked me enough to fuck with me. but I on the other hand loved her with all I had.

I would have done ANYTHING for her... She fooled around with me and broke my already quite fucked up heart into a thousand little fragments. I was broken - I had bled a lot. I was down a very bad road - bad enough that I decided to take a hitch hike out of the country and ending a few months later as a soldier behind enemy lines.... you see I really was RUNNING AWAY from everything "back home".... so much for my own sanity / background.

With that in mind let tell you one thing about relationships I've come to learn:

The very moment you stop being afraid of loosing someone - a relationship can actually become rewarding & fun & free.

my actual girfriend (we've been together for over two years now) - I love her very much so - it's a genuine feeling - and I wouldn't LIKE loosing here over some bullshit - but I'm never again going down that road where I tie myself that much unto a person that I would do ANYTHING for her if the consequence of not doing something would be loosing her.

if the relation ship breaks up then hell - it will hurt for sure - it won't be "good or nice" but it will be. and then somewhat later life goes on maybe for worse maybe for better - but it goes on (with or without you).

so don't make the silly mistake to stick with her and buy everything she wants of you, just to stay together - you have to learn to make a firm stand on things which are important to you.

now if diaper-wearing is important to you - communicate this.

if she doesn't cope - that's maybe the end of it - but at least you've been true to yourself.

[willow]

I'm 9 months out of a marriage where it was one of many issues. Married nearly 10 years.

From the womans point of view it emasculates the man. They have a hard time seeing you as a strong protective alpha hunter whatever role. From your point of view it makes you content, maybe even happy, and you probably understand that the chances of you walking this Earth for the next 60 years without diapering again is not likely.

So what do you do? Nothing rash. It all comes down to the meaning of life, being happy. You have to take as much time as you need to simply decide which path will grant you the most happiness. Do you want kids? Do you have to be married to have kids? Do you want a traditional marriage? Can you tolerate a modern live apart life long partner? Can you manage without the diapers?

You have to add it all up and make the right compromises for your best chances at a happy life, and trust me, your goals will move so be flexible.

Short term, do nothing. Take your time, figure out what means the most to you.

[b0xer21]

regrettably, its a part of who you are. if you guys are serious, she needs to love you on all levels. thats what true love is after all...