Growing Up

[Baby D]

This may be a bit unprecedented, however I am going to go ahead and ask anyways. This question is generally geared towards towards adult babies/adult kids, but DL's are free to respond as well.

I know that a lot of people in our community go through the whole binge and purge cycle. It's a vicious cycle that usually starts with guilt. But has anyone felt like they are outgrowing their AB side?

I am completely comfortable with who I am and I have always considered my AB side to be a big part of who I am and I'm not ashamed to admit it to people. However, for over a month now I've been feeling like I don't need this anymore. I've been wanting diapers, my paci, etc less and less. I haven't worn a diaper in 2-3 weeks when I used to wear every night and I was wearing to work a lot even.

I'm just wondering if perhaps that the emotional aspect of being an AB is just a crutch? A coping mechanism that we use until we figure out whatever it was that was really "hurting" (I use that figuratively) us. (For those that are AB's because of the emotional aspect, such as myself) Perhaps it's really only meant to be a stage of our life... one that we eventually "outgrow" so to speak. And of course there are AB's that are into it for the sexual aspects, but that's really a different ball game.

It's just that the more I think about it, I really can't see myself living like this forever. When guys say they wanna change me, I can't even begin to describe how put off I am. I don't need a daddy to take care or me and honestly I don't want a daddy to take care of me. I want a real relationship where diapers are not the center. I can't see myself having children and hiding this from them.

I feel so weird feeling like this. I feel weirder feeling like this, than I do about the AB thing. I know about being an AB and I'm completely okay with it. But now I don't know how to feel about myself. I feel like I'm losing an important part of myself, but I feel completely okay with losing that part of myself.

I would love to hear from you guys and hear what you think.

[nitrous]

Baby D,

you're not a lone. I went through the same thing. I liked ab things all of my life ever since I can remember. Around the time I was 18 I just didn't find any desire to be a baby. I liked and all but I just felt like it wasn't where I was meant to be. Like being a bay in the eyes of others and having people treat me that way gave me the creeps. It just didn't feel me. I gues its because I got out of a horrible depressing situation that started in 6th grade and I finally got over some stuff that happened when I was 4. I feel like I should be an adult and do adult things. I feel more confident with myself, more open to try new things, and more determined to finish my goals. I don't know if this will make any sense. I often have a hard time describing personal stuff like that. If you have any questions just ask.

hope all is well

Chris

[Pipsqueak]

An interesting question, Baby D. In my particular case the AB side of me was always cyclical. It was all-demanding and then after awhile, completely off my radar for months at a time. That was constant from the time I was a little girl until sometime in my early thirties. I discovered that the older I got and the more comfortable and more accepting of myself that I became, the less I "needed" the AB side. Now I seem to "want" it simply for my own pleasure. Perhaps if I denied it for long stretches at a time again I would eventually find the need becoming over-powering again - and sometimes I must admit, I miss the urgency and power of that need. There was something really exciting about being completely bowled over by those desires. Anyway, now I indulge it more for the enjoyment of it and not because of a feeling that I have no choice in the matter.

So, yes in a way, I understand what you're saying about out-growing it. I'm not sure if I've out-grown it so much as I have out-grown the fear I used to have of it. Now it's sort of like an old friend I hang out with.

In your particular case, maybe you no longer need what it used to give you. Or maybe you just need a break from it. Too much of a good thing gets boring after awhile. Why not give it a break for awhile and see what happens?

[b0xer21]

i hope you're right.

[Angela Bauer]

Although there has never been peer-reviewed scientific research into diaper related affectation. the working assumption of qualified mental health professionals is that infantilism is a lifetime condition. The way we act out our inner infantilism will sometimes change. We can go decades without doing anything beside wear diapers if incontinent. If we have bladder control we might go years un-diapered. However, our infantilism is latent and will return someday.

It is not a question of growing up as much as it is learning to get along in the real world. Many laws protect the rights of incontinent people, but we still are expected to go the last mile avoiding shocking folks. ABDL have no such legal protection, so if you want to stay in a dorm, you had better do your best to get along. This is growing up.

[Baby D]

Thanx for your replies, I really appreciate it.

It gives me some ideas of what to possibly expect from you guys that have been at it longer than me. Perhaps though, that it is possible to "outgrow" it. Maybe we just don't hear about it because once the desire is gone, it's gone. They wouldn't continue to hang around here to tell us about it. But I would like to get to a point where it is like an "old friend" as Pipsqueak put it. I would like to "hang out" with it from time to time and just relax and be a baby... but a desire of some sort has to be there. Otherwise, it would be kind of like a man dressing up in frilly dresses when he has no desire to do so. It wouldn't feel right to him. He'd feel stupid. I do know that whether you "outgrow" it or not (if that's even possible) that it's always going to be a part of who you are. Once you become a part of this community it's like you see a lot of things differently than before.

But then again, it's probably a phase. Another one of those cycles... just as vicious as the binge/purge cycle.

But once again, I do appreciate your input.

[babylin]

Baby D !

Interesting you should view your AB/DL behavior in this way. I posted the idea of "Life Stages" once here also. Yet I'm older than Square Duck by a decade and still find myself participating.

Pipsqueak got it straight. Take a break. But do not destroy your stash. Lock it away in a strong box with padlock only you have a key to and put it away for however long. Someday you will want to open that box again. And no one ever needs to know what you locked away. So after the excitement of love, marriage, and kids, you can still find part of the (old) Baby D if/when you want.

A lifelong condition with periods of latency as Angela Bauer put it. You're gaining self-acceptance along with maturity. This is good.

Life is good. Life gets better. Wishig for you the best.

babylin

HAPPINESS IS WEARING COTTON DIAPERS

[Codymoogle]

Very interesting read!

I like this topic, but I do agree with duckie and lin - I believe it is a lifetime thing, and even if it isn't, a (former or not) AB or DL will always see things in a different light than someone who never was in the ABDL community. I believe it permanently alters our perceptions of things.

I'm just wondering if perhaps that the emotional aspect of being an AB is just a crutch? A coping mechanism that we use until we figure out whatever it was that was really "hurting" (I use that figuratively) us. (For those that are AB's because of the emotional aspect, such as myself) Perhaps it's really only meant to be a stage of our life... one that we eventually "outgrow" so to speak.

As far as myself, and "growing up" - I can honestly say, no, this hasn't happened to me. On the contrary - With the help of my Dady, I've worked through a LOT of my abuse/what's been hurting me, and that has actually let me be me more easily - I really am little, inside...and with the love and care I need I've been able to actually be and act like the little one I am without hinderence.

- C.J.

[boy ricky]

This may be a bit unprecedented, however I am going to go ahead and ask anyways. This question is generally geared towards towards adult babies/adult kids, but DL's are free to respond as well.

I know that a lot of people in our community go through the whole binge and purge cycle. It's a vicious cycle that usually starts with guilt. But has anyone felt like they are outgrowing their AB side?

I am completely comfortable with who I am and I have always considered my AB side to be a big part of who I am and I'm not ashamed to admit it to people. However, for over a month now I've been feeling like I don't need this anymore. I've been wanting diapers, my paci, etc less and less. I haven't worn a diaper in 2-3 weeks when I used to wear every night and I was wearing to work a lot even.

Im not getting tired cause its who i am and i am way happy for it. You could be different and thats ok that you are tired of it. If its part of you then you will come back or find a way to be the lil one again. So there is nothing wrong with aying to heck with it!

I'm just wondering if perhaps that the emotional aspect of being an AB is just a crutch? A coping mechanism that we use until we figure out whatever it was that was really "hurting" (I use that figuratively) us. (For those that are AB's because of the emotional aspect, such as myself) Perhaps it's really only meant to be a stage of our life... one that we eventually "outgrow" so to speak. And of course there are AB's that are into it for the sexual aspects, but that's really a different ball game.

It could be a crutch for some people. For many or most ab's its not a crutch, its who they are or want to be. Many AB's are into roleplay/ageplay and they enjoy sex with their diapers and thats awesome too.

It's just that the more I think about it, I really can't see myself living like this forever. When guys say they wanna change me, I can't even begin to describe how put off I am. I don't need a daddy to take care or me and honestly I don't want a daddy to take care of me. I want a real relationship where diapers are not the center. I can't see myself having children and hiding this from them.

Lots of people live as you suggest you want too, diapers aren't the centre of it all. diapers for many are more of a prop or essential wardrobe piece needed to fulfil and or remind them of their AB side. Ypu shouldn't feel bad because you dont wish diapers to be the centre of everything for you.

I feel so weird feeling like this. I feel weirder feeling like this, than I do about the AB thing. I know about being an AB and I'm completely okay with it. But now I don't know how to feel about myself. I feel like I'm losing an important part of myself, but I feel completely okay with losing that part of myself.

I would love to hear from you guys and hear what you think.

Now you say you think you are giving up something vital that makes up who you are. You might be doing that but only you will know that for sure. I think you should take some time to make up a list of things that make up who you are. What you like and don't like. Some of them maybe the same thing.

To me, a total amateur peer counsellor, it appears you need some validation, ie you need to hear that its okay to be an AB and its ok if you don't want to have diapers as the centre of your life.

To answer that question you need to know if you love yourself unconditionally. Thats the most important thing we can do for ourselves. Love who we are, whoever we are.

Good luck, i expect you will do well.