Hiring Babysitters

[NannyRose]

Dear Daddies, Mommies, Babies, Toddlers, Pre-schoolers, & Youngsters,

I've been lurking about your board for a few days now and I haven't come across any recent posts about hiring babysitters. I've looked at some of the ads and I was wondering, do they have a place? Is paying for a caregiver anathema to your mindset? Just wondering.

Sincerely,

-Nanny Rose

[Baby Drew]

I have thought many times about going to a Pro Mummy as I would love someone to change me and feed me etc.

However I have yet to do so.

[NannyRose]

I have thought many times about going to a Pro Mummy as I would love someone to change me and feed me etc.

However I have yet to do so.

Yah. Some of those services were pretty dang pricey. Of course, driving all over town can be expensive these days, but still....how much is too much and how much is just right?

[enfant]

NannyRose (I like your name BTW), I've often seen posts on other boards from pro-domme/mommies, and they usually come off as rather insincere and mercenary at best, and downright spammy at worst--some phony babytalk and buzzwords to get the potential clients excited, and then a phone number and price per hour, and if you try to engage them in conversation on the board you get nothing. I can only speak for myself, but I'm personally rather glad not to see many posts of that sort here.

But I'd love to see posts from someone who was genuinely into this lifestyle, who really gets us, who's open and friendly and willing to talk about the subject in the same depth as the rest of us, and who happens to have made it into a paying career. If that's you, welcome! Tell us about yourself--how did you get started in this strange world of ours?

[NannyRose]

NannyRose (I like your name BTW), I've often seen posts on other boards from pro-domme/mommies, and they usually come off as rather insincere and mercenary at best, and downright spammy at worst--some phony babytalk and buzzwords to get the potential clients excited, and then a phone number and price per hour, and if you try to engage them in conversation on the board you get nothing. I can only speak for myself, but I'm personally rather glad not to see many posts of that sort here.

But I'd love to see posts from someone who was genuinely into this lifestyle, who really gets us, who's open and friendly and willing to talk about the subject in the same depth as the rest of us, and who happens to have made it into a paying career. If that's you, welcome! Tell us about yourself--how did you get started in this strange world of ours?

Err, well. I actually AM an experienced nanny. Real childcare references, early childhood credential, the whole nine yards. I usually work as a live-in nanny. So you could say it's a paying career, but that wouldn't be accurate for the world of AB/DL. I had seen diapers listed on various fetish sites as an interest, but it never occurred to me that someone would like to take it further and roleplay the full range of a 2 yr. old. Which, by the way, includes baby talk and temper tantrums, the former which I never engage in since it's bad for their development and the latter I usually ignore as it just encourages them. heh At any rate, I'd like to take my 'career' in a different direction if possible and continue formal schooling. However, most nanny jobs are 50-60 hours a week which leaves little time and energy for classes. A friend suggested I check out the AB/DL community as a possible alternative, doing what I do best, just at a different 'angle'. I'm great with infants, toddlers and preschoolers, but I don't know that I'd be great with ABs. So I'm just getting my feet wet. Trying to discover if it is like other fetishists, who seem to resent paying for services or if it is warmly rewarding in the way that caring for children can be.

So, err...that's it. ...except, when I sing lullabys to babies, they don't seem to care that I don't have a singing voice.... heh

[glenny720]

Hi Nannyrose thanks for your post. As an Ab/Dl boy, finding a "female babysitter" is very difficult. For that matter, woman who are part in whatever way of the AB/Dl community as mommies, babysitters, ect. are simply very rare indeed. Over the past 15 years or so it has stayed about the same. Take the AB personals here for instance. There are over 5,500 AB boy members with the majority looking for some kind of female companionship. There are if I can recall correctly like around 350 female members and the majority of them are AB/DL girls. Just do the math!!! Also, those that are shall we say professional babysitters do not charge 30 dollars an hour. Its more like 150 bucks an hour and up. I am sure they are worth every penny but ....... I guess money does not grow on trees and I can think of a many ways to put what I work hard for to better use. Hence what we call what happens when demand far exceeds the supply. You would think that well over 15 years of the internet being here (which is what has brought the AB/DL community together more than anything) that it would have progressed more than it has. In relation to your specific question, that there would be more woman involved as nanny's, babysitters and the like. Anyhow I am sure that there are those that might post that have much more knowledge and experience than do I. and thanks for your question.....

[NannyRose]

Hi Nannyrose thanks for your post. As an Ab/Dl boy, finding a "female babysitter" is very difficult. For that matter, woman who are part in whatever way of the AB/Dl community as mommies, babysitters, ect. are simply very rare indeed. Over the past 15 years or so it has stayed about the same. Take the AB personals here for instance. There are over 5,500 AB boy members with the majority looking for some kind of female companionship. There are if I can recall correctly like around 350 female members and the majority of them are AB/DL girls. Just do the math!!! Also, those that are shall we say professional babysitters do not charge 30 dollars an hour. Its more like 150 bucks an hour and up. I am sure they are worth every penny but ....... I guess money does not grow on trees and I can think of a many ways to put what I work hard for to better use. Hence what we call what happens when demand far exceeds the supply. You would think that well over 15 years of the internet being here (which is what has brought the AB/DL community together more than anything) that it would have progressed more than it has. In relation to your specific question, that there would be more woman involved as nanny's, babysitters and the like. Anyhow I am sure that there are those that might post that have much more knowledge and experience than do I. and thanks for your question.....

Yes, I'm surprised more folks haven't mentioned checking out their local nanny agenices & babysitters. I guess the whole, adult baby with adult 'equipment' makes it awkward for somewhat youthful ladies with not a lot of life experience.

As for $30 an hour, that seems rather good considering what I've charged in the past for the little ones I can carry in my arms. Of course, when I know the kid is a spoiled brat, no amount is enough. You can't spank in the nanny biz and time-out just works so well in hockey, it has about the same effect on toddlers. Thank you very much for your feedback.

-NannyRose

[Pipsqueak]

Welcome NannyRose! I don't think paying babysitters is anathema to the community, necessarily. I think, as Enfant said, it's when they spam the boards and appear insincere that people get turned off the idea. I honestly think that the best way to get a business of that nature going is to become part of the community so that the members can get a feel for who you are and get comfortable with you. A certain amount of vulnerability is required on our part to get into the whole AB headspace with another person, so forming connections within the community first would go a long way to building a client base of little ones clambering for your services.

[tris]

Real little ones aren't hairy! That's my number one complaint of many of my fellow ABs.

If I were in your position, something I would consider is that while your intentions are legitimate, and you might even be sincere, being a pro-nanny for adults in this arena is a little too close to hooking. Don't forget that this is a sexual thing, and that much of the attitude of your clientele will be sexually motivated, in stark contrast to what you're used to. They come to YOU to pay you for what they're obviously unable to attain by regular means -- a meaningful relationship with someone who can give them what they need. You're dealing with desperate people, and if you ask me, desperation is a cologne that smells worse than any dirty diaper!

[NannyRose]

Welcome NannyRose! I don't think paying babysitters is anathema to the community, necessarily. I think, as Enfant said, it's when they spam the boards and appear insincere that people get turned off the idea. I honestly think that the best way to get a business of that nature going is to become part of the community so that the members can get a feel for who you are and get comfortable with you. A certain amount of vulnerability is required on our part to get into the whole AB headspace with another person, so forming connections within the community first would go a long way to building a client base of little ones clambering for your services.

Yah, I would think so. Children are tremendously vulnerable and tender-hearted - I would think an adult making the mental shift would only happen in private.

When you say community, I think local, DFW. I thought I saw a post from someone in Dallas about a meet 'n greet. Wouldn't those folks be looking for partners though, not babysitters for hire? I've been to fetish munches before where the ProDommes weren't particularly made to feel welcome. I wouldn't want to go where I'm not wanted, I'm kinda tender-hearted myself. Nevertheless, thank you for the advice.

[NannyRose]

Real little ones aren't hairy! That's my number one complaint of many of my fellow ABs.

If I were in your position, something I would consider is that while your intentions are legitimate, and you might even be sincere, being a pro-nanny for adults in this arena is a little too close to hooking. Don't forget that this is a sexual thing, and that much of the attitude of your clientele will be sexually motivated, in stark contrast to what you're used to. They come to YOU to pay you for what they're obviously unable to attain by regular means -- a meaningful relationship with someone who can give them what they need. You're dealing with desperate people, and if you ask me, desperation is a cologne that smells worse than any dirty diaper!

Yes, that worries me too. Someone who wants to be babied, but wants their adult sexual needs met too. That isn't my thing. I would no more touch an AB/DL in an intimate way anymore than I would a babe in arms. That is anathema to me. It would ruin the whole mood of the experience. I suppose I'll just have to be really clear about my boundaries.

[pax87]

I disagree!! My AB lifestyle is not sexual. NOT EVER! Not everyone wants that or is into that. I know a few AB's that ARE NOT sexually interested. It's just not our thing. There are lots of AB's that just want to be close to someone, cared for, loved, etc. Though, there are not many of us that are not into the sexual aspect of the AB lifestyle cuz generally DL comes into play with mosts. So yes, precautions do need to be taken. But I just had to defend that for me and maybe even some where sexual acts have nothing to do with the AB side of them.

And not from experience. But it is my understanding that MOST nannys and babysitters do not perform ANY sexual favors. But I wouldn't know for sure having kept my toddler half to myself...

Anyways, Welcome NannyRose!!

Paxy

[tris]

Pax, we're in the same boat, but my point was that being a Pro-nanny is akin to being a whore; people pay you for whatever gratification they seek. The only difference here is that the 'white' in the deal isn't crack/coke.

[NannyRose]

It's rainbows and butterflies

It's compromise

It moves us alooonggg....

-NannyRose

[justindiapers]

Here are a couple of good resources:

http://www.dailydiapers.com/board/index.ph...ic=8906&hl= - Here is a recent thread about what is a reasonable price to charge for being a AB sitter

http://mistressmatisse.blogspot.com - This is the blog of a Seattle professional dominatrix. Very well written, and she often talks about professional issues. One thing that will be very helpful are her posts on how to screen new clients - especially how to avoid bad clients. Do a search on her blog for words like "escort" or "client" and you should find the relevant posts. (the search box is in the upper left corner)

She also writes a column for a newspaper, (which is linked to on her blog) and she has some links to other sex worker's blogs. The columns and some of the links would be worth checking out too. Being a AB sitter may or may not be sex work, but the dynamics of it will probably be similar to being a pro-dom.

[NannyRose]

Here are a couple of good resources:

http://www.dailydiapers.com/board/index.ph...ic=8906&hl= - Here is a recent thread about what is a reasonable price to charge for being a AB sitter

Thank you. That is about what I'd had in mind!

I'll be sure to check out those links.

-NannyRose

[pax87]

I understand tris. And yes, usually people that pay for a service are looking for other sexual forms of gratification also. But when you apply a fetish service to an AB (not always DL) then there is a lot of grey area because not everyone is the same. Its easier to classify Subs and Doms together because its sexual. It's purely a sexual thing. But, in my opinion, an AB fetish is not always sexual. In fact, using the word "fetish" implies that its sexual when for some it's not. It really depends on the person and what they are looking for. I'm not saying that oooh the sexual aspect is bad and shun them. I'm only defending myself and maybe others for those that are less informed of this lifestyle.

As far as running a service, I think that before anything the guidelines, rules, etc should be written. Running a sitting service also needs to meet your expectations and needs. So if you need to nurture and care for someone then that's how it should be. For some sex is also involved. It just depends soley on the person running the show!

Anyways, that is my 50 cents on that piece. NannyRose I'm sure you will figure things out

Paxy

[enfant]

Hi NannyRose,

Good heavens, that friend of yours sure is good at thinking outside the box (or does he or she have some personal experience with the AB/DL world?). And I'm very impressed at your own open-mindedness... anyone who can hear about something as strange as this lifestyle, and not only not be weirded out by it, but actually feel willing and able to provide nurturing care and help us along, sounds like my kind of person.

Regarding the discussion up there about sex and infantilism... it's undeniable that for most of us, infantilism is erotic. I think, for me at least, it's about getting in touch with a part of me that's normally repressed; when that part is allowed come out and I can be fully myself, the relief I feel expresses itself as a sexual passion. If I weren't married to an understanding and supportive wife/mommy--if I were, in short, in a situation where I'd want to hire an AB sitter--the need would be much more pent-up and I imagine the relief would be even more passionate. So much so that I might not be able to keep myself from acting like a schmuck about it.

Not everyone mixes up infantilism and adult sex, of course--but if you get into this, do understand that many, probably most, of your clients will be intensely turned on. When you change diapers on men, you will see erections. Some of them may want to masturbate in their diapers. Some will probably become fixated on you as a sex object. Some will want to suck at your breast. You will have to set boundaries and be very firm with them, but many of your clients will try to test the boundaries (just like real babies do). You'll have to be able to look at a grown man (most of them will be men) who's really acting quite pathetic and annoying, and still feel warm and nurturing toward him, understanding that this isn't entirely something he can control. Obviously you can do that with a real child, but it might be more challenging with us oversize models.

If all that doesn't scare you off, then that's fantastic, and I wish you (and your future clients) much happiness.

Regarding that meet 'n greet in Dallas... maybe you should email the person first and ask, but I think it would be okay to go. I mean, it's not like you're just there to hand out business cards--you're not even a pro yet. What you are is a curious and openhearted friend of the AB scene who'd like to learn more about the people in it. If I were at the meet 'n greet, I'd be happy for you to be there.

[enfant]

Its easier to classify Subs and Doms together because its sexual. It's purely a sexual thing.

Not for all of them. It's just as complicated over in their corner of the kinkyverse as it is in ours.

[langtab]

Regarding the discussion up there about sex and infantilism... it's undeniable that for most of us, infantilism is erotic

Umm... no. I am definately not turned on by infantilism. To me if someone who I thought of as a Mommy or something of the sort added sex to the AB side of the relationship I wouldn't stick around. That for me would be wrong on so many levels. I completely disagree that for most of us it is erotic. I think we should start a poll.

[pax87]

I AGREE TABBY!

*raises hand* all in favor of a poll?

Paxy

[enfant]

Umm... no. I am definately not turned on by infantilism.

Which is why I said "most", not "all". I actually meant to say "many" and it came out wrong, but I'm not taking it back because I believe "most" is factually true. This is generally recognized as a paraphilia--a form of sexual fetish. Yes, there are lots of people who don't eroticize it, but if you consider how quickly and in what volume the horny net geeks come out to hit on the women that show up in most AB forums, you'll realize that this is tied up with sex for a lot of people. I'd be very, very surprised if it were less than half of us. I think it's probably considerably less--especially among the men.

[langtab]

Well I think your generalizing which is dengerous territory. Perhaps the horny net geeks are everywheres. But, for a lot of the non-sexual ABs they keep it quiet. Just because the voices of the HNGs are so loud doesnt mean that most ABs are sexual fetish types. But, lets just get a poll going and then we can see how it actually is.

[tris]

Why poll? I think it's really cut and dry. . .

Let me propose a scenario:

Think of your 'ultimate' AB fantasy --whatever it is, with whoever it may be. . .

Guys: If you get hard, it's sexual.

Girls: If you get wet, it's sexual.

There. See? No voting required, everyone just found out for themselves, and I'm willing to bet that just because the diaper wearing and the whatever other ABDL stuff you do on a daily basis has jaded your sex drive doesn't mean that it's no longer rooted in your sexuality.

[pax87]

I have a splendid idea. What if we agreed that for everyone it is something that attracts them to the AB lifestyle, whether or not it is sexual, that is for them, and we moved on from this debate. Especially since this is NannyRose's topic and we have veered far from the original discussion.

Paxy