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Hello everyone! Long time lurker but never poster. I've mostly written D&D campaigns, but after reading so many of Elfy's stories I wanted to try my hand at one myself. English is not my first language so I hope it's not too bad. Title might be a work in progress. I have more chapters planned out but I'd like to see the reception and perhaps get some feedback if possible. Thank you! I'll also provide i link to a google docs if the formatting doesn't work. https://docs.google.com/document/d/1SJRsBUVRJ00wRmzUBwhbcWuyhfvAulQgp_spXFbMGto/edit?usp=sharing Disclaimer: This story explores darker themes (see tags) that may feel unsettling. Please read at your own discretion. A Dependent Model Alicia Eriksson wasn’t your average 19-year old. She stopped measuring up to her peers several years ago…in height, anyway. Standing only about 3 feet 1 inch tall and weighing roughly 30 pounds created many vertical challenges in her life. It didn’t help that her natural, curly brown hair that gently brushed her shoulders gave her a very youthful look. She had to assert herself against many concerned mothers who tried — with good intentions — to help her out. They often thought she was a lost child while shopping in the supermarket or taking a stroll in the park. Sitting in said park Alicia scrolled through the jobsection of the local newspaper app. Across her sat the local playground, some trees, bushes and a flickering billboard that never seemed to get fixed. Alicia had tried several times to find a job. Her mother felt uncomfortable sending her to college since she believed Alicia didn’t always ‘think things through’. When she got a job, Alicia tried very hard to keep it, but her short stature proved a worthy adversary everytime, and she was fired. She tried waitressing; but constantly had to watch out or to be bumped into, which happened; a lot. She abhorred selling tickets at the cinema as people either ridiculed her or thought she was someone’s kid playing pretend. Data entering…well that was just boring really, but still! “Come on,” she said to herself with slight frustration, “Somewhere there’s bound to be a job for me. Where I don’t need to struggle all the time.” Her eyes then landed on a particular section of the app. “Huh, ‘Stars Modeling Agency now searching for new talents. Please apply by this afternoon’,” she read out loud. She pondered for a bit. “I guess it’s something I haven’t tried yet, but would they have clothes my size?” Scrunching up her face, she decided, “Well I can at the very least try. What’s the worst that could happen? Hmm, I should get there quickly before applications close.” Happy with her decision Alicia signed up for an interview on their website, wrote down the details of the place, and put them on her phone’s map. “Oh, it’s a bit across town, but closer than expected. I should be able to walk from the house and get there in 15 minutes or so. Alright, let’s get this bread!” Alicia confidently started to walk towards the Modeling Agency. Making her way across town, passing the cinema, an ice cream parlor and several houses on the way. In a small alleyway she could read out the starry sign of the agency. Inside she spotted a waiting room which was painted pastel blue, a counter with a receptionist and two other - what Alicia thought- prospective models. “Huh, weird that they are both here with their kids,” she remarked as she saw two toddlers playing with some dolls in a corner, but she didn’t pay any other attention to them. Alicia went up to the receptionist, a middle-aged woman wearing a cream-coloured cardigan. “Excuse me,” Alica said. The receptionist looked around for a bit before settling her eyes down on the diminutive woman. “I’m here for an interview with,” Alicia looked at her phone, “Sofia Juarez?” She looked at Alicia quizzically. “Hi sweetie, are you here with your mo-” “I’m here by myself, ma’am,” Alicia interrupted already knowing where the lady was going with her questions. “Here’s my ID card, I’d like to speak with Mrs. Juarez if I may?” The receptionist took Alicia’s ID and looked it over. “Well, certainly, Ms. Eriksson. Please have a seat in the meanwhile.” The woman gave Alicia back her card with an amused look on her face, but Alicia didn’t care for the woman’s expressions. Alicia grabbed a seat and started looking through her phone in the meanwhile not noticing the odd looks the other two women in the waiting room were giving her. After waiting an hour for her turn she was called into the office where Sofia Juarez was sitting. She wore business casual attire and had long raven-like hair sitting tightly in a ponytail in the back. “Ms. Eriksson?” she said with a professional tone when Alicia entered. “That’s me Mrs. Juarez. Thank you for taking your time seeing me,” Alicia said. The latina woman looked at Alicia with interest on her face. “It’s just miss for me as well. Please have seat, Ms. Eriksson, pardon if it’s not adjustable.” “I can manage it. Thank you,” Alica assured her and climbed up on the chair. “So, Ms. Eriksson,” Ms. Juarez began, “ have you ever modeled before?” “Honestly, no I have not. To be perfectly frank I’m quite jobstarved at the moment and I’m looking for any kind of opportunity I can get,” Alicia said believing that honesty would be her best bet. “I see, thank you for your candidness, Ms. Eriksson,” Ms. Juarez said and wrote some things in a document, “well we all have to start somewhere.” Alicia smiled, maybe she had a chance? “I assure you, ma’am that I’m a quick learner and even though I’m short I’ll try working really hard.” “Oh your height is of no issue, dear,” Ms. Juarez replied. “So you do carry clothes in my size? That’s very forward thinking, Ms. Juarez.” Alicia couldn’t believe the good news. “Oh yes of course. Don’t worry we have a large sortment of clothes for a woman of your stature. Now a few more questions before we conclude this interview.” Ms. Juarez proceeded to ask Alicia general questions, whether she grew up in town, where she sees herself in a few years etc. Alica answered all of Ms. Juarez’s questions to the best of her ability and looked on nervously as she looked over her clipboard, hoping her lack of experience wouldn’t be an issue. “Well Ms. Eriksson,” Ms. Juarez began, “I think Stars Agency have found their new talent.” “Really?” Alicia beamed. “Oh thank you, ma’am. I promise I won’t let you down.” The latina handed over a contract that Alicia was more than eager to sign without looking too closely at its contents. “I’m sure you will be an excellent addition to our little family, Ms. Eriksson.” “You can just call me Alicia, ma’am,” Alicia said beaming with energy. “Oh, then I insist you call me Sofia. ‘Ma’am’ makes me feel old," she said. Alica took a brief look at Sofia who appeared to be in her late 20s. “Of course, thank you for this opportunity, Sofia.” “You’re welcome, sweetie,” Sofia said with a genuine smile. The ‘sweetie’ comment didn’t even register in Alicia’s mind as she was too busy writing down her details in the contract. “So when should I start?” Alicia said eagerly. “Can you come in tomorrow Friday already? Our photographer Michelle will be available in the afternoon around three o'clock and I could give you some pointers and assist with clothing if necessary? There won’t be any other models in at that time so we could take some time for you to learn the ropes.” Alicia thought it seemed a little odd that the hiring manager would help with clothing, but maybe Sofia was a ‘hands-on’ type of person. Yet that thought did nothing to damper her mood. “Tomorrow afternoon three o'clock, I will be there!” Alica said, hopping off the chair. “Excellent, well Alicia I will see you then. And again, welcome to the family.” Alicia felt like she traveled on air while going back home. Even an inexperienced model could earn a lot in comparison to other professions at the current job market and she couldn’t wait to earn some money to increase her independency. I mean it’s not like living with mom is a bad thing, but a girl gotta spread her wings, right? She thought to herself as she passed the trees in the park with the flimmering billboard acting up as usual. Alicia paused for a bit to take in the nice summer’s breeze. “From here on out my life is going to change,” she said before continuing back to her house.

Hi folks! I decided when I finished my latest mainstream book that I wanted to do a short story for Christmas before getting back into the grind of daily updates on multiple stories. However, I've not done very well at finishing this one… and it seems unlikely now that it will be finished in time to be "seasonal". So… I'm eager to hear opinions about whether I should finish it anyway, or leave it until it's seasonal again next year. This one started out as a simple idea, but became more complex as I planned it, and the characters seemed to have their own ideas how they want it to go. There may be some serious themes in the first and last chapters; and some of the (adult) characters wanted to get a bit frisky. So if you want content warnings for particular topics on any future chapters, please let me know. I know 24 parts sounds like a lot for a Christmas short. Really, it's 6 chapters. But each chapter is broken up into four parts, one for each character, making 24 parts in total. Hope that's not too many words for anyone. Feedback please! Seeing people's opinions, and predictions, always makes it more fun and easier to keep on writing. Gift Exchange Act 1: Driving Home for Christmas David, broken-hearted businessman Snow-dusted trees whizzed past outside the window as David rehearsed his lines, fingers drumming nervously on the steering wheel. “We decided to take a break,” he mumbled, wincing at how unconvincing it sounded even to his own ears. He knew he’d have to answer these questions sooner or later, even if everybody was too polite to ask. He cleared his throat and tried again, injecting more false cheer into his voice: “Me and Sarah just realised we wanted different things out of life. But it's okay, it means I can see you guys for Christmas again. Just like the old days.” The words rang hollow in the cosy confines of his car, and the wind whistling along beside him almost seemed to be laughing. David sighed, raking a hand through his soft brown hair. How could he possibly fool his perceptive family when he couldn't even convince himself? As he turned onto the off-ramp and saw the town spread out below, a dazzling array of twinkling lights caught his eye. Houses transformed into gingerbread fantasies, with icicle lights dripping from eaves and inflatable snowmen waving merrily. The residents of Maple Street always went the extra mile, knowing that they would be the first thing every visitor from beyond the valley saw. The cheery festive scene, now complemented by seasonal music and animated light shows, tugged at something deep in David's memory. “Wow,” he breathed, slowing the car to drink in the magical sight. Unbidden, a long-forgotten image swam to the surface of his mind. Elves swarming to put the lights back on a Christmas tree after some malevolent force had knocked it down. The kids singing and whooping, hoping to chase off evil spirits while Dad cheered them on. “Must be mixing up dreams and reality again,” he mused with a shake of his head. “Does everyone remember such a crazy childhood, or is that a side-effect of having a children’s author as your dad? All those pictures and epic bedtime stories gave me the most amazing dreams. But I wish I could remember more stuff that really happened. Yet as he drove on, more improbable recollections bubbled up. A genie’s lamp wedged against the wall to calm a wobbly table. Statues that winked and waved when they thought no grown-ups were looking. Talking squirrels, and hedge mazes that led all the way into the elf quean’s labyrinth. Enough fantasies to fill a whole shelf of novels, and the images in his mind’s eye were always as clear as the primary-coloured cover illustrations that used to rule the fantasy shelves of the school library. “Come on, Wilkinson,” David chided himself, managing to find a moment’s humour as he caught himself sounding just like his boss. “Next you'll be remembering flying reindeer and–” He broke off and shook his head, trying to dismiss mental images of star-dusted skies flashing past so fast they became a blur. But now he was just being silly, sticking fantastic trappings onto a half-remembered trip on a late-night bullet train or something. “Nope,” he said. “That one’s definitely fiction. If Santa was one of Dad’s characters, he’d be getting a whole lot more royalties. No more daydreaming for now. Time to focus.” He squared his shoulders, and saw determination etched across his features in the rear view mirror. “You can do this,” he told his reflection, who clearly didn’t believe him. “Smile. Laugh. Pretend everything's fine. It's just for a few days.” But as David rehearsed his cheerful facade once more, he couldn’t quite shake the lingering feeling that perhaps, just perhaps, his subconscious mind was trying to tell him something useful through all these disjointed recollections of childhood dreams. But how would he even recognise the one real moment when he saw it? He pushed that thought to one side and gripped the steering wheel tighter, his knuckles whitening as he steeled himself for the performance ahead. “It's simple,” he muttered. “Smile, nod, grin and bear whatever Lily wants to rib me about.” A recent breakup would be sure to put an edge on his sister’s teasing this year, but in a way he was looking forward to the next step in the sibling-rivalry arms race. At least he had fresh ammunition this year. His eyes flickered to the pile of presents on the passenger seat, landing on the neatly wrapped bundle for his sister. A wry smile tugged at his lips as he imagined her reaction. “Oh, workout clothes! How thoughtful,” he mimicked her voice badly, voice heavy with sarcasm. “They'll go great with that treadmill I’ve been using as a clothes rack.” Of course, she’d never say something like that when she could talk about how she was going to finally go running on it later this week, or next month, or maybe in June. But she didn’t need to admit it, because the words were already in the thoughtful note he had included for her. She would have to feign gracious acceptance and find some way to ambush him with a hidden barb in her words later. And he knew that she really enjoyed the struggle for the upper hand as much as he did. The laughter died in his throat as he imagined Sarah again, wondering if she was laughing just as much about the familiar ache she had left in his chest. He tried another chuckle, but the sound was hollow. David couldn’t get his thoughts away from her, or from the life he had expected to be living right now. Their first real Christmas together, actually making joint plans and obsessing over making them perfect, after so many years of winging it. “Face it,” he told himself, “it was too late. No time to change plans. No time to fit someone else into those plans even if I could find someone that quickly. At least I can spend time with my family.” When he said that, it was so easy to picture Dad’s pitying looks, or Mom giving him dating advice. Too easy to get hung up on questions that were too painful to answer. And easy to imagine the subtle ways Lily would find to work his predicament into her little jabs. And he knew that if he showed them how he was really feeling, the cloud of melancholy hanging over his head would spread to envelop the whole house. That was something he didn’t want on his conscience. “No,” he said firmly, shaking his head as he waited for a red light to change. “I won’t ruin their Christmas too. They still invited me, and did everything to make it possible at short notice. I’ll smile, I’ll laugh, I’ll be the perfect son and brother for all of them.” The car started moving again and David took a deep breath, plastering on a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. He knew the performance ahead of him was going to be particularly challenging, and there was so little time left to figure out what he was going to say to them all. His eyes flickered back to the little stack of gifts in between checking that the road ahead was clear. It was a stark contrast to the presents he had received as a child, when every mysterious shape had been a source of mystery. Most of the presents he was giving this year were perfunctory tributes of sweaters and socks, meant only to affirm that you didn’t really know someone well enough to choose a gift for them. There were a couple for him on the seat too, from other relatives and coworkers, but the shapes told him already that the biggest surprise would be what spirit was in the bottle. Lily’s new outfit was probably his only success at giving something slightly more original. Except for Dad’s gift, of course, sitting in a decidedly un-sock-like irregular parcel at the bottom of the pile. David was sure the old man wouldn’t be expecting it, but less certain whether it violated the enigmatic rules of regifting. A spark of genuine excitement flickered in David’s chest when he wondered how Dad would react to being presented with a purportedly magical treasure after so many years. If nothing else, he could hope it would bring back positive memories. “Surprising Dad has to be worth bonus points,” he told himself. “The man who supposedly knows every possible twist.” He allowed himself a proud smile, imagining his father's face lighting up with childlike wonder. But the pleasant daydream was short-lived, as unbidden reminders of his recently-ended relationship crept in like unwelcome holiday guests. “We were supposed to start our own traditions this year,” he sighed. His knuckles whitened on the steering wheel until he forced himself to get a grip and relax a little. “Not look for ways to revisit memories I don’t even remember. Hot cocoa by the fire might have been sweet, or matching pyjamas. Picking out our first tree together. Something that’s special just for us. And now…” He shook his head, trying to dispel the bittersweet memories. “Focus on the good stuff, David. Family. Presents. Mom’s cinnamon rolls.” But even as he listed those comforts, his mind wandered traitorously back to the ghosts of relationships past. The mental echo of her laughter mingled with the cheerful carols on the radio, and David knew it would be a long time before he could consider letting her go. As long as he was alone, those memories could keep tormenting him forever. “It's not fair,” he whispered. “We had it all planned out. What am I supposed to do? Just forget everything that was good?” And that was the real problem. Everything had been good. It had almost been perfect. They had been building a future together, and they had been perfect for each other. They had the same kinds of jobs, and both liked to travel. When they came to plan something, whether it was a trip together or moving into their new apartment ready for the holidays, they had always been on exactly the same wavelength. Sarah had understood him. They had an apartment lined up. They’d planned together how to decorate it. Both the regular decor and the festive additions. They’d chosen a tree, and picked out matching tasteless Christmas sweaters for each other. Everything had pointed towards a long and happy life together. Or so he thought, right up until she said that she’d had enough. They’d been perfect, and now they were nothing. He’d really thought that he’d found the right person for him this time. They had a future together. Romance, happiness, an apartment, and maybe even marriage. He had been so sure it would last. And now, he couldn’t bear to tell his family why he was crawling back to them with his tail between his legs, instead of starting new traditions for the two of them like he had wanted. He was so deep in his thoughts that he almost missed the turning. He had been cruising along the ridge road, with the rich neighbourhoods that ringed the town showing off their elaborate decorations to his right. But as he crested the hill he took a turn to the left and all those lights were soon gone behind him. Now he was on a narrow country road, with the only illuminated trees being the ones that lurched out of the gloom each time his headlights found a turn ahead. David had to focus on driving now, he didn’t want to get distracted here. Next year they would have come here. After making a home with his girlfriend, he would have wanted to introduce her to his parents. But that wouldn’t be this late at night, with plans changed at the last minute, dreading every question that they might ask. They probably already knew that David and Sarah were single again. He hadn’t told anyone, but his parents surely knew that a man would only come home for Christmas if he was a singleton without any other possibilities for the holidays. And they hadn’t asked why or how. Those questions would come when he was least expecting it, and he had to be ready. Lily might not ask; bringing up something like that would be a low blow, and he thought that she would probably stay cautious until she knew more. But his parents would be legitimately curious, maybe even wanting to help him. And questions asked innocently could hurt all the more. “It’s Christmas,” he muttered to himself, gripping the steering wheel tighter. “There’s other stuff to talk about, they won’t be so worried about me.” But saying the words didn’t make them feel real. He was spending the holidays single again, and even if they didn’t pressure him for the details they would know that his planned future had fallen apart. They would be looking down at him like he looked down on himself, and the only thing he could do was put on a show of not caring. That way everybody else could avoid thinking about it too much. But how could he– A horn blared, and David jerked the wheel sharply to one side. His headlights illuminated fence posts and a frost-covered field, dragging his mind right back to the practical realities of a journey back to his childhood home. He must have drifted towards the middle of the road while he was lost in his own thoughts, and there was no better reminder of the immediate realities of his situation. The road, the trees, the darkness; those needed all his attention right now. He didn’t have time to lose himself in endless worries about what might have been, or he wouldn’t get home at all. At least he wasn’t far away now. He glanced out of the side window, where he could see the first traces of red and gold light becoming visible between the trees. Just another couple of hair-raising bends in the darkness, and then he would be back in the village of his childhood. The place of so many adventures, some of which could even have been real memories. On their way back to the road ahead, David’s eyes lingered again on the gifts in the passenger seat. On the present he was returning to Dad. His father had always been an amazing storyteller, and it was only natural that David would have wanted to follow in his footsteps, until he found his own path in life and someone to follow it with. But he should have known that Dad would always be the master of that craft. From the books that everyone clamoured to get from the school library, to the more personal narrative of his bedtime stories, Dad had a story for everyone. “No wonder I remember dragons,” David whispered to himself, and laughed. A masterful storyteller, who integrated elements from their everyday lives into his stories, so that looking back now it was hard for David to draw a line between real memories, his dreams as a child, and the stories Dad had told him. That had been something he wondered about for years, anyway. Whether the stories he had told Dad about his dreams had become inspiration for his published books as well as the bedtime stories they shared; or whether it was the stories that had inspired the dreams. It seemed like it didn’t really matter after so many years, but he would still have been curious whether his fruitful imagination as a child had been original. One more sharp bend passed by without incident, and then the road was illuminated by the simple light displays of the houses beside it. He was back in the village now, passing Mrs Finch’s cottage, and the rectory. Remembering how much trouble he’d gotten into when he was younger for building a treehouse in the orchard there. Seeing the spire of St Michael’s church, visible only where it blotted out the stars on a moonless night; and his mind’s eye furnishing the darkness with memorable landmarks that were so familiar his inability to see them didn’t matter at all. He was home now, and he took a deep breath as he relaxed for the last fifteen minutes of the drive. “Maybe it won’t be so bad,” he reassured himself. Maybe he would run into old school friends while he was still in town and have enough fun to push more recent events out of his mind; or meet an old flame and get a second chance to say the right things. It was unlikely, sure, but Christmas was supposed to be a time of miracles. And he was sure that there were endless possibilities better than the loneliness he anticipated. So long as he kept a smile on his face, anything could happen. Martina, devoted mother Martina’s hands trembled slightly as she measured flour into a mixing bowl. She frowned at the small dusting of white scattered across her pristine countertop, an occurrence which had become increasingly common this year. It wasn’t a significant problem, as she would have to dust a work surface with flour in order to roll out the dough in any case; and there was no reason why it shouldn’t be here. But her declining worry was one of several small worries coming hand in hand with her age and, hopefully, wisdom. But the familiar motions of holiday baking brought their own comfort. No matter how hard it became, this was one ritual she was determined to maintain. She could have asked Lily to help her with this, of course. Her daughter was right there, carefully guiding an electric whisk around a mixing bowl as she combined the butter and sugar. Emerald eyes remained focused on Martina’s hands, ready to offer help the instant she sensed it was wanted, and yet she somehow held enough awareness to keep her hair out of trouble each time some movement sent those energetic red tresses bouncing from her shoulders towards the bowl. Martina should have been delighted to have Lily here and David on the way. Every year since high school – and even the last year before graduation, when Lily had joined her classmates in delivering gifts to children less fortunate than themselves – Martina had hoped and prayed when waiting to see which of her children would be here this year. And yet when she could finally entertain both of them for the holidays, she could only wish that it hadn’t turned out this way. Just three weeks ago, they had known that David would be spending his first Christmas in a new home with his latest girlfriend, so when he had asked to come home for the holidays there was little doubt about the story he would come to share. And Martina would happily have sacrificed her family reunion if it meant her son could have the life he wanted. “I’m sorry, David,” she whispered, as if her own wishes might have contributed to his misfortune. “The cookies will cheer him up,” Lily said, with a little forced brightness in her voice. “Remember how he used to steal them right off the cooling rack?” “Mmm,” Martina agreed absently, studying Lily's face as she spoke. “And like you did too, though I suspect you ate more of them. David liked to present still warm cookies to that Becky next door, didn’t he?” “Clarissa,” Lily corrected with a smile. “Becky was the one with the puppy, wasn’t she? Or the… No, wait, that wasn’t really…” She stood lost in thought for a moment, the whisk driving all the sweet mixture to the other side of the bowl as it rested for a moment. “I don’t know. I guess I don’t remember our childhood as much as I thought. So many friends, and crazy times, it’s hard to keep straight in my mind. Sometimes I wonder if I get my memories mixed up with the stuff we watched on TV, or dad’s old stories.” “It all becomes a blur after enough years,” Martina said. But she was sure she was right now. Lily often talked as if she was so excited she couldn’t keep in all the things she wanted to say. But now, the way her eyes darted down and didn’t quite meet her mother’s, it was more like she was talking to avoid thinking about what was really on her mind. But she would talk when she was ready, Martina was sure of that. And she didn’t want Lily to feel pressured into addressing something she wasn’t ready for yet. She thought it would be better all around if the conversation could just drift back onto a non-controversial topic. “But the things that matter are always there,” she said, feeling a little proud of herself for the segue. “You remember the time your brother snuck into Seamus’s study and perched himself in front of the typewriter? That’s one memory out of so many adventures, but I remember it like it was yesterday.” “He said he was going to be a great writer, just like Dad,” Lily confirmed with a laugh that might have been real. “But we were four then, or five, and he still needed help to spell his own name right. Always the optimist, our David.” “Has he told you any more about why he’s coming?” Martina asked carefully, keeping her tone light as the flour she was sifting. “He never even mentioned it to me,” Lily answered. “Didn’t tell me he was going to be here. I’d already mailed a gift to that new apartment, and now I bet Sarah will keep it for herself. He’s lucky he’s so easy to shop for, so I could nip out to buy something in town.” She had stopped her whisk while she was talking, but now she seemed to notice that Martina’s hands weren’t moving either. “What?” she said. “You think she would have passed it on to him? Trust is trust, but a dollar is a dollar, and even the smallest gift can turn into a credit note if you have the receipt.” Martina was startled, and didn’t quite know how to respond. The words were harsh, but they were also an exact mirror of the things she herself had never been able to say about the woman who had been the love of David’s life at the end of summer. “Better not say that in front of David,” she said eventually, while Lily resumed her baking duties with renewed energy. Each year, Martina was surprised by how much Lily or David took after her or Seamus. There was as much physical similarity between them as you might expect for any group of four strangers, with the biggest commonality being an off-white skin tone; but when it came to the way they thought and felt, or how the readiness with which they banded together against anyone who hurt a family member, there was no doubt that they were a family. The same was especially true of Lily and David. They were fierce rivals, teasing each other as mercilessly as any siblings ever had. But if an outsider ever criticised one in earshot of the other, they would have each other’s back in an instant. There was no way anyone could be closer, not even the twins in fiction who had powers of telepathy or similar fantasies. But almost two months between Lily and David’s birthdays left no space at all where anyone could possibly come between them. Glancing at the clock, Martina quickly called for a little help to swap around the baking trays in the oven. There were four different kinds of treats in the oven now, from Christmas cake to butter cookies, and she carefully took down a pen to make a note on a scrap of paper pinned to the corkboard. She was confident in her ability to remember what needed to come out at what time, but sometimes it was better to be safe than sorry. The kitchen quickly filled with the aroma of sweet spices, giving a hint that the next batch was going to be just as good as they were every year. “That smells lovely!” Lily commented, after taking a deep breath. “Vanilla creams? Oh, did I tell you about the new coffee shop near the market? They have these ice cream floats that actually taste like vanilla. I’ve been going there almost every week, though… I wouldn’t be much of a fitness specialist if I was filling up on treats every time. Most days I just get these peppermint mochas.” “That sounds nice,” Martina answered quickly. “I shall have to try it some time, if I can find the opportunity to visit. I’m sure your father would love being able to see your new habitat, and I don’t think we’ve actually visited you since you had that place in Bay City. You found an amazing little bistro there as well, didn’t you? Seems it’s something you have a knack for.” “You should have known that when all the girls in school were going to Starbucks for those fancy milkshakes and I wanted to try the espressos,” Lily answered with the obligatory chuckle. “Always been a coffee addict. But yeah, I’d love to see you some time. Haven’t got a big spare room, though, and it’s finding a time when I’m not on call that’s a pain these days. Don’t want to disappoint my regular clients. But I’d love to show you around. It’s not too far to travel for you?” “Shush!” Martina laughed. “I’m not that old yet. We could probably get a bus and enjoy the ride. Or make a road trip of it, just like the olden days. I’d take turns driving with Seamus and have a break to stretch our legs whenever we pass some tourist trap. Call it an early mid-life crisis, trying to recapture our misspent youth.” “Not that early now, Mum,” Martina answered, and it seemed the amusement in her voice was more real this time. Something was clearly bothering her, but this subject had drawn her mind away to happier memories. “Heck, I’m probably closer to a mid-life crisis than you are. If you’re still middle-aged we might overtake you in ten years.” “Time marches on,” Martina said with a sigh. “I remember when you only came up to my knee. Now those were some Christmases. Remember when David borrowed your father’s Three Wishes Ring and asked a genie if we could meet Santa?” “He used to get so caught up in our dreams and fantasies,” Lily said, smiling again. “No matter what we imagined, he’d play along with us as if it were real. You both would, and no daydream was too absurd. I read some of my old diaries when I was moving, and there’s everything from wizards to aliens in there. Maybe I should have tried writing books about it too; but I already knew where I wanted my life to go by the time I was old enough to understand how magical that writing was.” “And how’s life going?” Martina asked, not watching Lily’s expression right now because her eyes were fully occupied as she pried some of her special winter gingerbread off its tray and made a neat display on a serving plate. “I hope that your love life has been less chaotic than your brother’s.” “I’ve not met the right guy yet,” Lily answered, as always. And then she stopped where she was standing and looked down at her hands, lost in her own thoughts for the shortest fraction of a second. “I guess that stuff doesn’t really matter for me.” “Oh, honey,” Martina said, and almost reached out to offer a hug, forgetting about the tray and oven mitts for the smallest fraction of a second. She put them down instead, before turning around. “There’s nothing wrong with taking your time. You’re getting your career in order first, so that you know you’ll be able to pay your share when you start dating, and that’s very responsible. There’s nothing wrong with doing your own thing until the right guy crosses your path. Or the right girl, if that’s better for you. And you’re still young, whatever it might seem.” “No, it’s not… Lily answered, and the worries she had been hiding were on display on her face now. She was nervous, not ready to share, and Martina wished that she hadn’t tried to help without thinking first. She didn’t know what the problem was, and it seemed like the moment hadn’t actually been right for motherly advice. “I’m sorry, honey,” Martina tried again. “I spoke without thinking. Maternal instincts can be a little too strong at times. We don’t have to talk about this if you’re not ready. Christmas is a time for fun, yes?” “And cookies,” Lily pointed out. “Dad’ll be disappointed if he doesn’t get these while they’re still warm.” She picked up a batch, and hurried through into the lounge. Watching her go, Martina couldn’t help worrying about her daughter now. There was clearly something worrying her, some setback in her life, but Lily wasn’t ready to share it yet. Martina knew that she would open up when she was ready, but it was hard to keep her thoughts away from the topic, and she knew that she would be worrying about Lily until she knew just what the problem was. It wouldn’t be a romance thing, that wasn’t like her at all, but it was clear that there were clouds on the horizon in some way. Martina picked up another selection of her baking and followed through to the lounge, hoping that the conversation wouldn't be too strained until Lily was ready to share. Seamus was sitting in his usual armchair, silver hair catching the winter light from the window as he checked his phone again. Even after all these years, seeing him there still brought a flutter to her heart – the way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he was worried, the gentle way he held himself as if ready to spring into action at any moment. Even though leaping into action these days was likely to be a case of picking up his phone and giving advice to children who were still less prepared for some of the complexities of the world. His head was bowed over his phone now, but looked up as Martina and Lily sat down on the couch. “Any word?” Martina asked. “Not yet,” he said. “He should have been here by now. Unless Mockingbird Lane is flooded and he has to go the long way around, but I saw one of those council trucks only last week, trying to clear the leaves out of all the drains. And he would have called, wouldn’t he?” “He’s probably on the way,” Lily said. “He knows his way here, doesn’t he? Maybe he doesn’t realise how late it’s getting, or there’s nowhere to pull off and make a phone call. We should try some of these cookies, and try not to worry about him until we know more.” Seamus nodded, and turned his phone face-down on the arm of his chair. And then he reached out for one of the ginger thins, carefully holding his left hand beneath it to catch any crumbs before they could desecrate his favourite sweater. He took a bite and closed his eyes to savour the taste, and just for one moment Martina was glad to find something that could leave her husband speechless.

Has anyone read Dr. Rhoda's new book? I have started it and so far it is amazing. She is a great advocate for our community and so much more. I would love to know what others think of the book. https://amzn.to/3cyXeBi Update: oops, I didn't realize that this had been out for almost a year so not really new. New to me. Anyways, I didn't see a post about it when I searched.

I knew that I have a bad track record when it comes to finishing stories, but I think the only way I would be able to write consistently is if I made a patron like everyone else seems to have today. Now, I’m not arrogant enough to think that anyone would pay for my writing (I am my no means calling anyone with a patron arrogant). So, I give you the pre-warning that this story may go dead at any time. Mostly I am wring this for myself, and I apologize if this story gets to real for anyone. Honestly I have no plan for how this story will turn out. I am just going to write and see what happens. Also I can already tell that, at-least the first part of this, is going to be a little depressing. Now, with that all out of the way, let me begin. Chapter 1 Malory didn’t know what to do anymore. She was loosing her friend, and she had no idea what to do. It was his eyes. Within his hazel eyes she saw the dam holding back all that pain, however, unbeknownst to the owner, that dam had broken long ago and that pain was spilling froward, attempting to drown its host. “How was work?” Malory knew full well that Levi’s work day had been shit, even before she had asked, but the words were out of her mouth before she could help it. COVID conditions had caused most of Levi’s co-workers to leave, and as he was one of the most senior staff. Levi’s higher ups kept putting more and more responsibility on him, and the cracks were beginning to show. “Three call outs,” he said dully, as he slumped into the couch beside her, still wearing his work clothes. “How was your day? Did your presentation land with your boss?” In reality, her day had been fantastic. The presentation in question had been the culmination of months of work, and her boss had loved it so much, he had given Malory and pretty sizable raise. However, she knew this information would be salt in the wound. Levi had been shouldering most of the slack at work, but his bosses kept passing over him when it came to handing out promotions. Malory had the sneaking suspicion they didn’t want to promote him because he was so useful where he was at, that promoting him would leave a difficult gap for them to fill. So instead, Levi’s bosses continued to tell him what a good worker he was and how valuable he was to the company, while at the same time giving him nothing to show for pouring his lifeblood into the company. “It went okay,” she said, deciding in that moment to keep her success to herself and focus on trying to cheer him up. “Good news though. We both have tomorrow off. Maybe we can go adventure somewhere fun.” When he didn’t respond, she jabbed her fingers into his side and began to tickle him. “Come on grumpy butt, let’s not focus on work.” He struggled to push her off as he giggled against his will. Eventually he had her subdued with his arms, but Malory was soon free, as the shock of her licking his face had caused Levi to loosen his grip on her. No longer laughing, Levi returned to his sullen state. “I guess we could, I don’t really have any plans.” To be fair, he rarely had plans anymore… ==================================== Levi was alone. All he wanted was someone to share his life with; a person for him to love and that would love him in return. The dating world didn’t make since to him anymore though. At 29, it seemed like the dating market had all but dried up, and all that was left were the numerous dating apps that only seemed to benefit women and the few men that were sly enough to convince said women they were worth chatting with. Even before COVID restrictions drove everyone inside, no one hung out in public anymore. There was nowhere that Levi could go to meet anyone new. Levi’s parents kept telling him that he would meet the right girl eventually, but they didn’t seem to understand that he couldn’t meet “the right girl” if he couldn’t meet anyone at all. To him, he had passed the age of relevancy 6 years ago, and along with that relevancy, his dating prospects had dried up as well “I guess we could…” The words left his mouth but he didn’t really know what he was saying. He wanted to cry. He didn’t want to have to be the strong one anymore. …”I don’t really have any plans.” Levi didn’t want any plans, didn’t want to think or make decisions. He didn’t want to go on anymore; keep telling people that he was okay when he was long past his breaking point. Levi knew what would make his life better, but life didn’t want to oblige and give him what he sought. Levi knew Malory meant well, but he honestly he didn’t have it in him to pretend to be human for her right now. “I’m going to to take a shower…” ===================================== “I’m going to go take a shower.” Before Malory could say anything, Levi had vacated the couch and disappeared into the bathroom. She sighed and wiped the lone tear from her eye. The two had been friends for years and Malory wished she could give Levi what he wanted, but the romantic connection wasn’t there. They had tried dating in the past, but they had both agreed they were better as friends. However, over the years the relationship had become deeper to the point where they were more like family than anything else. So, when the time came that Levi had needed a roommate, Malory had been the first and only option. Malory knew everything about Levi, and she would bet a year’s rent that he knew everything about her as well. Malory looked at the single tear on her finger and contemplated her options. Levi needed her, but her going to pieces in the face of the fathomless black hole of his depression, wouldn’t do him any good. He needed a strong rock to hold on to; something to tie him to the shore so he didn’t drift off into the aether. The idea hit her and she was moving before her thoughts had completely formed. She felt the steam coming from the shower as she passed the bathroom door, passed her own bedroom door, and proceeded to push through into his empty room. Part of her told Malory this was a bad idea, but she ignored this inner voice. The gambit was worth the risk. Levi needed something or he was going to drown in his own sorrow without ever reaching out a hand. Malory pushed back his closet door and opened the lone bin that resided there. She was instantly greeted by the smell of baby powder and she quickly delved inside, looking for a particular prize. ======================================== “I am an ABDL.” Malory stared at him blankly, clearly having no idea what he was talking about. He sighed and continued with the words he now new he had to. “It means I like to wear diapers and act like a baby.” ======================================== The memory was still fresh in her mind. It had taken everything inside of him to reveal this secret about himself. Malory knew, in that instant, that telling her this had been a cry for help that had gone unanswered all his life. She had been understanding and had asked a lot of questions. Even though Malory occasionally caught a whiff of urine and baby powder, Levi never broached the subject again and Malory, knowing it was not her place, never mentioned it either. Levi’s fetish didn’t make her think any differently about him, but at the same time, she didn’t think it was her place to go into that world with him; that was until now. It was clear as day. In his life he had to be the strong one; everyone depended on him, and he was not allowed to show weakness or vulnerability. She shifted aside some pink diapers, adorned with patterns of unicorns, in search of something she knew had to be there. Malory don’t feel totally comfortable with diapering her friend, but she was going to do her part, as she saw it. Finding what she was looking for, she closed the bin and then the closet. ======================================= Five minutes in, Levi had given up on washing himself, and he now sat beneath the falling water, wishing he had decided on a bath instead. When the water began to cool, Levi took that as the queue to get up and shut the water off. After drying himself, he wrapped the towel around his waist and pushed out of the bathroom. Glancing over he saw that Malory was still sitting there on the couch, now watching something or other. Without a word, Levi entered his room, shut his door, let his towel drop to the floor, and fell, still naked, onto his bed face first. ======================================= Malory sat there, object in hand, as she waited for Levi to exit his room, but he didn’t. She had been worried about this. Levi had been going to bed earlier and earlier, and she was sure that he had no intent on exiting his room now. “Well, that’s too damn bad,” she said, standing up and walking over this his closed door. “Get out here you lazy bum! You are going to at least watch one show with me before going to bed at…” she looked up at the clock and sighed, “9 o clock. You have five minutes to get out here or I’m going to poor cold water all over you.” Walking back to the couch, she hoped he wasn’t too far gone to rise to her threat. Her fears were put to rest when his door opened and Levi exited, wearing pjs and a t-shirt. “You are very needy,” he said, sitting down next to her. There was a slight grin on his face, but she didn’t fail to noticed none of that grin touched his eyes. “Yes I am very needy, thank you very much. Now,” she patted her lap, “ your needy friend needs you to lay down in her lap and ask no questions.” “Why do you…” Malory put her finger to his lips, effectively shushing him. “No questions,” she said again, more sharply this time. “Head down.” Cautiously he obeyed and she then rested a hand on his head and began stroking his head. “I don’t want anymore words from you tonight. You had had a hard week and I want you to just relax and let this happen.” “Let…” he began, but at this sight of her flared nostrils, and wide eyes, Levi went silent and nodded. “Now close your eyes and open your mouth.” ====================================== Levi wanted to question her again, but he knew when she got like this, arguing was pointless. So,he just did what he was told; closing his eyes and opening his mouth. The silicone nipple entered his mouth and he was sucking out warm milk before he could even process what was happening. Instantly he open his hazel eyes and was greeted by Malory’s sunset ones. In those eyes he saw love, pure love… and he started to cry. I know I probably have grammar and other editing mistakes that need fixing but I honestly just wanted to post something quickly before I lost my drive. So, please tell me of any mistakes you find and please give me your thoughts on the story material if you have them.

Hi All I am thinking outside the box what kind of Catheter can stay in the bladder so urine can just drain into adult diapers as been in them since 2009 when I had an Spinal Injury L3L4L5S1 to the point of Intermitted urine Incontinence, intermitted retention, bowel constipation, as well as apparently purposely dehydrate myself due to my issues to the point my psychologist wants me to do exposure therapy to get "used to" wetting myself so I desensitize so its not traumatic and accept my incontinence as the intermitted no warning episodes is messing up my autism and mental health to the point I occasionally self harm because of it even though been 11 years. Catheter and bag system wont work for me as I wouldn't be able to insert it myself as well as a high fall risk and the tubing would move as well as tangle according to health professionals due to my many disabilities incl shaky hands will def ask the next urologist if the ever open and see people again in Australia public health

Hi, Its been a while since i posted here, still having problems. Its difficult to explain how this affects me. I have had several bouts of CBT with limited success. I did get a diagnosis in the end and the doctors letter recommended further treatment and meds, my GP practice just filed the letter away for information without reading it, four years later thinking i am on a very long NHS waiting list i found out the truth. Now i have to try more options before seeing a shrink (which is a level 2 service) and i have to apparently exhaust all level 1 options first.. hence the meds and i am now starting EMDR. Feel like i am in a computer game and stuck on level 1

Hi All, I wanted to let any of you in the New York City area know that there is now an AB/DL aware psychotherapist available to see any of you. She is located in the Flatiron district of Manhattan and offers sliding scale fees. She is super empathic and understanding and won't make you feel awkward about being AB/DL and the challenges in dealing with acceptance, finding happiness in relationships, and overall life when dealing with these issues.