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My partner introduced me to ABDL and it's been good in all the ways I think they were worried about. Their likes and preferences don't bother me and so far at least I've been 'mummy' and have been enjoying it. There is a sexual aspect to most if not all that we do and I'm not sure how common that is. I don't have any issue with how sexual things are because I've always had relationships where sex is a big part of things. I happen to believe that for my partner this isn't a fetish in the sense of something that's one of their favourite positions but that it is part of their identity in a similar way to how others might identify themselves as male, female, straight, gay, etc. (I apologise if that isn't a great way of expressing it. I know how I feel and think about them but getting my brain to find the right words for those thoughts and feelings is something I'm still working on.) Believing this is who they are has made me wonder about how I fit into things. I'm not sure I know how to articulate what I mean and was hoping that another caregiver or anyone here really, might help me clear up some things in my head. I'd like to feel a bit more clearheaded and also have more or better language to talk to my partner about it. They've gone to so much care to make sure I feel comfortable with things that I would hate to accidentally give any suggestion that any of this make me question our relationship. The best I can explain is that I'm not sure if their bond or attraction to me is because of the role I play in making their wants about diapers and little space possible or if their bond and attraction is towards me as who I am and me playing the mummy role is a bonus thing we enjoy together. I don't want to phrase it as "do they like me or do they like me because I make their diaper/little fantasies come to life" because it sounds too much like "do they love me because I'm me or do they love me because I make it possible for them to get to what they really love or want". That isn't even a blunt version of what I'm wondering because I'm not wondering if it's me or if it's diapers in the sense it's one or the other. I have a close friend that is gay and for various reasons didn't feel comfortable being himself for such a long time. H did what was safe and expected, got married to a woman, had kids, and while everyone is in a good place now there was a lot of difficulties and painful times. I don't know that it's a fair or accurate comparison but it's in my head and I can't seem to not wonder if diapers are my partner's true love/dream relationship and me (or another person even) is just how they get to their true love. If a human partner is a necessary evil - enjoyable, fun, good in a lot of ways, but not their end goal. That sounds again like "pick between me and diapers" or "do you love me or your diapers more" and I really don't feel that's what's in my head. Part of the reason I've loved past partners is because of what they've allowed me to do or how they've made possible things I was interested in so I think it's normal and healthy for those sort of things to be reasons why you love them. I think I'm wondering if me being "mummy" is the reason my partner likes me. I'm looking for (and they said they were as well) a long term relationship. I don't have any interest in asking them to stop being who they are or for us to do less but if I'm thinking long term partner then "what if diapers/mummy/that sexual dynamic becomes impossible - would we still work". Could they be happy with just me or would they have to fantasise about their true love or attraction for us to have a sexual relationship. I apologise if I've said anything hurtful or inaccurate - please correct me. I can't figure out how to put better words to what's in my head. It feels like this might be a common thing in situations where something isn't a kink but is a fetish and must be present.

I watched from my front room window as the delivery men unloaded their removal lorry and transported the various objects into next door. I could not see who the new owner was, just the amount of furniture and boxes that were being taken into the house. Several days passed before I noticed her as I pulled up onto my driveway, my new neighbour was collecting a newspaper from her postbox. She was in her mid to late forties bobbed brown hair and was wearing a silver silk dressing gown, not leaving much to the imagination. “Hi nice to meet you, my names PJ,” I said introducing myself. My new neighbour replied with a smile. “Hi there PJ, I’m Cathy,” she said holding out her hand. I lightly shook her hand to greet her. From that point we started to chat regularly whenever we bumped into each other. I established that Cathy was now single and maybe been through some kind of breakup, but I didn’t push the issue and enjoyed the fact that I had not inherited a nightmare neighbour, but a friendly one. As the weeks went by I didn’t really speak with Cathy a great deal. I did however get a strange feeling that I was being watched by her (I didn’t have any proof and never saw her.) But, whenever I went to go out or returned I just had a funny feelings he was watching me. Cathy had moved to the area for a fresh start. She had not long broken up with someone that she had been seeing, but that was not the reason, Cathy was in fact the one that had called the relationship off. No, Cathy had moved to a new area so that she could initiate a life long dream. It was no coincidence that she had moved in next door to PJ, she had been stalking him for months. After purchasing the property she had ensured that all the necessary improvements had been completed before moving in, now the time had come to commence. BANG! BANG! BANG! My front door echoed. I had just got out of the shower and dried myself. Pulling on a pair of shorts I hurried downstairs to open the door. Stood in front of me was a frantic and slightly upset Cathy dressed in her silver silk dressing gown. “Oh PJ, please come quick something’s happening in my basement, please help me!” Cathy said while wiping a tear with a tissue. Unsure of what to expect I slipped on my trainers and grabbed a baseball bat and followed Cathy. “What is it?” I asked as we hurried to Cathy’s house. Once inside the front door Cathy shut it behind me, “I need you to look downstairs for me, please?” Cathy pleaded as she pointed to a wooden staircase. “Ok!” I responded as I gripped my bat and proceeded to head down the stairs towards a dark door at the bottom. Cathy was following me in close proximity. Upon reaching the lower floor I put my had to the door handle and pushed it down, simultaneously pushing the door open into the dark filled room. I edged in with Cathy still close behind me. Suddenly lights above my head were on and I was momentarily blinded by there brightness. Cathy’s plan had gone well this far and had managed to get her potential victim into position. After flicking on the light switch she grabbed a sealed see through bag from the side cabinet next to the doorway and opened it. She retrieved the thick white paper handkerchiefs that she had prepared earlier that were laced with her special chloroform concoction. I was stunned when my eyes adjusted to the light and I could see what was before me. The bright white tiled walled room was full to the brim with equipment. My brain was struggling to process what was laid before me. An adult sized cot, a changing table, large rocking horse, shower, glasses front cabinets upon cabinets full of items. I just didn’t understand why this would be here. I turned to ask Cathy what was going on. However at this point With the thick paper hankies firmly in her right hand Cathy circled my neck and applied them over my mouth and nose. “Mmmmmmppppppphhhffff,” I cried as the thick white crisp tissues formed a gag around my face. I was obviously in shock and dropped the baseball bat as Cathy expertly clamped the paper hankies over my mouth and nose. I inhaled almost instantly and was hit by the chemical smell that was held within. “Mmmmpppphhhhhfff” I cried again as I grabbed hold of Cathy’s hand holding the paper hankies in place. Cathy was well prepared for my attempt of escape and quickly used her knee to push into the small of my back to knock me off balance. As I found myself falling backwards into my assailant I inhaled again. This time the chemical within the tissues had Cathy’s desired effects and caused my head start to spin. I desperately started to struggle now, as I lay collapsed on the floor with Cathy directly behind me supporting my head and holding my hands away with one hand, whilst holding the thick paper hankies over my face with her other. “Mmmmppppppjhhhfff,” I complained as Cathy looked into my eyes. “Sssssshhhhhhhhhhhhh! Baby it’s ok, mummy is going to take good care of you. Just relax and breathe in mummy’s special medicine Cathy responded as the drug started to really take effect. My head was spinning, my eyes were starting to blur, why would Cathy do this to me? I don’t have a lot of money and definitely do not have anyone who would pay a ransom. But what I didn’t know is Cathy know exactly who I was, she had done her homework and I was ‘her choice’ candidate. Drugged and confused I continued to struggle against my abductress, but this was in vain. Cathy now had me exactly where she wanted me. On the floor, the drug laced tissues in place and going nowhere! “Mmmppphhff” I cried again trying to question why, but Cathy was not moved. “It’s ok precious, mummy has planned this for a long time, you just need to be a good boy and go night nights! I know you don’t want too, but mummy knows best sweetheart, just relax baby and everything will be just fine, I promise!” Cathy stated as my eyes were now glasses over and I was falling into a drugged slumber. “Gooooood booooooy!”Cathy said as I drifted off into la la land.