Enthusi

I didn’t think you were hijacking the thread at all. ? In fact in a way all the good vibes you’re sending is helping me out. It probably goes that these new developments in my level incontinence have done a lot on me emotionally. Its been a desire for so long and I feel I’m close to or even at goal. So that’s great. But it’s turning out to be quite different than I imagined. I’m loving it and have no desire to go back, but it’s different.

@oznl sounds like we are on the same trajectory. I’ve been actively untraining for 4 years or so but it’s only been recently that it’s spiraled. And with my switching to timed checks and diaper changes, I’ve quickly losing what remaining control I had. My experience is eerily similar to yours. I still get flash urges to go. My bladder will feel empty then bam! And I feel a simultaneous urge and release. I suspect these are what people refer to as spasms? Also I seem to dribble a bit. Also A lot of times I have no urge to go and then I stand up and 10 seconds later I feel the urge to go and I can’t stop it. I have zero control at night as well. Are you still enjoying your experience?

Exactly! I don’t think the quantity went up. It’s just that its getting harder to predict when I will next wet and how much. Up until recently I would flood my diaper every few hours (as most ABDLs do). This made it easy to plan around other events in my routine. There was a lot of wiggle room to make the next diaper change to coincide with my routine. I could easily hold off changing by an hour or two as long as I didn’t expect to flood and spring leak. And as a last resort if I was worried a flood would cause a leak I could do things like stand up, or slow down the stream. Nowadays, ever since my control has been in free fall, I don’t know when I’m going to wet or how much. And it happens so fast and without me fully being aware. I’m gonna try a slimmer diaper in combo with plastic pants.

Thanks! I will check them out. As long as they don’t add too much bulk. I’ve been hesitant to use plastic pants up til now. I haven’t really needed them. Though come to think of it maybe the extra bulk would be worth it, especially as I “re-learn” how wear diapers as an incontinent person.

I’m glad you’re enjoying it! It is indeed a powerful feeling knowing you will be in diapers the rest of your life and your control will only worsen as time goes by. It’s rewarding (for those of us who are into this) and enough to hasten the process. I shredded my undies years ago and I haven’t looked back. At this point I don’t think my brain will let me re potty train even if I physically have the ability to do so.

Yeah there’s a definite sweet spot that I haven’t hit yet. This was much easier when I could better predict how much I will wet over the next few hours.

Update: Okay I’ve managed to get my leaks under control with timed checks diaper changes. But now I’m going through diapers like crazy! I know it’s because I’m not using them to capacity like I used to. Though that ship has sailed. Tips? I’ve been using cheaper less absorbent diapers when I’m at home and can change frequently. Otherwise I suppose it’s goes with the territory! ?

Totally get that. Just curious can you get away with using generic diapers during the daytime? Even if you have to change twice as much it still is probably cheaper.

Or pack an extra change of clothes! ?

@Rob110 Don’t get me started. It’s happened a few times where I peed during a change. That’s why I made this observation. But you know what does happen a lot? Peeing when I’m out of the shower and getting ready for the day. I’ve have the same morning routine now as I did decades ago. The problem is I often forget to put my diaper on right after showering. Thats often a recipe for a soaked bathroom towel and floor. It’s annoying to clean up. You’d think I would learn by now.

Never been ticked during a change. But I would say the tickler should proceed at their own peril. I’m truly curious if your incontinence is related to 24/7 wearing. I seem to be well on that trajectory I don’t know if I have a pee fetish, but I truly don’t mind wetting myself, and love the validation that it brings that I need to be in diapers. Nothing like a wet pants to help you appreciate a dry diaper.

Update: So the boat ride came and went. It was a great time. It turns out that at this particular lake you are only supposed to swim at a designated beach while you dock your boat. The beach had a changing room so it was moot. I didn’t have to worry about changing in front of my family. However… afterwards I lost my cell phone (later found) and while searching for it my parents took it upon themselves to search through my car… I came back to my car to find my diaper bag open and all my diapers in plain sight. No one said anything and like I said they already know. I feel like there is a moral to this story somewhere!! ???

It’s like, “woah I really am incontinent… oh crap I really am incontinent!”

Funny you say this. I just posted something the other day here about how I’m leaking a lot recently and I concluded I am losing my ability to estimate how wet I am or when a change is due based on my awareness of how wet I am. That is to say, I used my diaper more than I realized. It’s such a weird sensation. I still am trying to wrap my head around it. I don’t feel like I’m wetting any more than usual. And when I go without a diaper yes my clothes are a bit damp but not THAT wet. So I don’t think I’m dribbling that much. Instead my guess is that I’m making small spurts here or there that I didn’t pay attention to. Though the REAL mind screw is that ever since I switched to timed diaper changes my life has gotten easier. It’s nice not having to mentally track how many times I’ve wet. Like… since when has it become a chore to pay attention to how much I’ve wet? Does that make any sense? It does to me.

This was a huge hurdle for me. There have been and continue to be times where I know for certain I could’ve made it to the restroom if I tried hard enough, but instead chose to use my diaper. I used to worry a lot that these instances meant I was “faking” incontinence and I would subsequently go into a shame spiral and then have an intense desire to prove I am not faking it. It helped me to realize that incontinence is a symptom not a condition. You can still have some bladder control and it can be reversible and yet still you’re incontinent.

This. The human body is remarkably good at maintaining continence. There are layers of redundancy and reflexes involved and we are programmed to avoid incontinence from a young age. Achieving incontinence requires you to undo all that physiology and psychological conditioning. It’s not easy.

I posted something about this on Reddit ABDL a few days ago but this might be of interest to the folks here. Long story short I’ve been actively unpotty training for over 4 years now. For the most part I can still pretty much tell when I’m wetting. But the wettings are getting harder to feel and they are getting progressively smaller amounts and more frequent. I almost always feel a little wet. All of this is to say that it’s getting harder and harder for me to keep track of how much I’ve wet over any given period of time. For the past few months I’ve noticed a huge increase in frequency of leaks, and it occurred to me that I must be wetting more than I realize, and indeed that seems to be the case. Honestly it’s a total mind-screw for me. First and foremost I realized I can no longer wear diapers the way most casual ABDLs do, which is how I’ve done it for decades. You have a sense of your diaper’s capacity and how wet you are and when the wetness nears capacity, you change. However that doesn’t work when you aren’t totally sure how wet you are. Instead I’m teaching myself to time diaper changes and stick to a schedule. Even if a diaper isn’t near capacity, I will change anyways because I don’t want to get busy and spring another leak. It’s just that it’s…. sooooo weird not being able to trust my own memory to guesstimate how wet I am. Instead I am relying on a timer and external cues such as feel and look of the diaper to tell me when it’s time to change. It’s even weirder when I consider that ever since I’ve switched to timed diaper changes, my leaks have gone way down. What’s more, I’m a little bit relieved that I no longer have to mentally track how much I’ve wet. In hindsight it was getting a bit hard for me to do that, and clearly I wasn’t doing a good job at it! Don’t get me wrong. I’m happy with my decision. If anything I feel more emboldened by my progress. But talk about a vulnerable feeling! I’d love to hear from others, especially though here who lost trust in their ability to accurately predict when they need a change.

Well from the sounds of it you are WELL on your way. I think that’s about exactly where I was about a 1-2 years ago. If your experience is like mine, soon you’ll start to experience “unauthorized wettings” (my friend calls them “improper order of operations). It’s a weird sensation where your bladder relaxes at the same time or even a second before you realize you have to go. I know you aren’t actively seeking incontinence but it sounds like it’s not a bad thing. A couple pieces of advice for you, if I may… 1. Don’t get discouraged if you have times where your bladder control seems to be improving, or you’ve stalled. It happens to everyone I know who has unpotty trained. Focus on the long game. 2. One thing that helped me greatly was planning to spend the rest of my life in diapers. I have no desire to re-potty train whatsoever and knowing that it’s a progressive irreversible process emboldened me. 3. Similar to #2, you may want to bite the bullet and ask your primary doc to add incontinence to your medical record. I was terrified to bring it up but I’m glad I did. I told him it’s due to psychological reasons and i don’t need a referral, but I wanted it added to my chart so I don’t have to be worried about a doctor seeing me in a diaper down the road. He did it and it was like a huge burden has been lifted. Good luck!

For those who are actively seeking incontinence, or strongly thinking about it, how is it going? Share as much or as little as you’d like, including victories, frustrations, concerns, goals. It’s all fair game! For me… I’ve been experiencing a lot of unexpected leaks over the last few months. My guess is that as my bladder control worsens, I’m wetting smaller amounts more frequently and so it’s harder for me to remember or notice when I’m wet. (I’m always wet). I can’t rely on my memory of wetting to predict when I’ll need a change like I’ve done for decades as a casual diaper wearer. As a result I am relying on external clues like the wetness indicator and the squishiness and making myself change at scheduled times even if I think I’m dry. It’s all so exhilarating and terrifying in a way that’s hard to describe. Don’t get me wrong, I know exactly what I’m getting myself into and it thrills me. But it’s definitely not for the faint of heart. Maybe I’ll make a separate discussion dedicated to that. Looking forward to hearing from others!

As someone who has been actively untraining for 4-5 years, I can attest that unpotty training is real work. You’d think it would be a simple matter of not trying to hold it in. But the truth is that will only get you so far. Mammals, especially humans have evolved to be very good at continence. (In my opinion, the fact that humans are so embarrassed by incontinence is a testament to how critical it is in our evolution, but I digress). Successful unpotty training takes sustained, disciplined classical and operant conditioning to teach your body to undo and replace its natural reflexes.

I have to admit I chuckle when I read posts about people worried about diaper bulge or crinkles. That’s the least of your worries. If you are going to worry about something, I’d say worry about smelling like pee. That’s much more likely to land you in hot water than anything else. Using plastic backed diapers, staying hydrated so your pee is more dilute, changing when wet, and using a dab of body spray go a long way.

In my experience the process of internalizing is often overlooked. I would go as far as to say it’s critical that you be able to see yourself as incontinent if you want any long term success. I’m talking on a deep, deep, level. In fact I suspect that the people who are able to successfully “spiral” into incontinence are somewhere along the way to accepting they are incontinent. Trust me it’s much easier said than done to identify as someone who is incontinent. I’ve been at this for over 4 years and it took me about 3 years of untraining and self talk to internalize my incontinence. Here are just some of the psychological barriers I’ve faced in no particular order. 1. Fear that you’re faking incontinence because you still have some ability to hold it in, or because of times when you chose to use your diaper even though you probably could have made it on time. 2. Belief that incontinence due to unpotty training is less legitimate than incontinence due to a medical problem. 3. Discouragement from people who say you can’t become incontinent from unpotty training. (Yes you absolutely can!) 4. Having dry spells where your bladder control inexplicably improves. 5. Fear of going to the doctors of the ER in a diaper. 6. Self doubt and insecurity about being an ABDL. 7. Not wanting the chase to end. Anyways I’m very curious how “acceptance” has played a role if at all in other people’s journeys. For those who’ve been at this for a while and/or have found success, do you see yourself as incontinent? What psychological barriers did you overcome? Did anything change for you once you accepted it? Edit: I changed the title to be more descriptive and I fixed some grammar

Thanks! So as an update I did end up talking to my sister who will be there. She things thinks it’s not that big of a deal and that if I hide under a towel to change yes family will know but they won’t think anything of it. ?

I was thinking of playing the “oh silly me I left my shorts on” card. And get changed on the boat. It would be eyebrow raising but not horrible.

@Little Sherri I thought of sneaking a pull-up. I might be able to get away with it if I am stealthy. Plus, like I said my family knows, though I feel awkward about it. As for Your conundrum, oh man you have a lot of challenges there. You may have to bite the bullet and tell them. I suppose that depends on your relationship with your friends. Just curious how/ why do you hide your diapers / incontinence from your kids? How old are they? How is it working out? I concluded a while back that it would be damn near impossible to completely hide my diapers from them and live a normal life. Let me be clear I’m not advocating for intentionally exposing them. I do hide the ABDL stuff. But my son who is 7 has accidentally walked in on me changing before. And I’m sure he has seen a diaper poke out from time to time. He hasn’t said anything and I try to keep it very low key. I’m aware the risk he will blab to family and friends but so far he doesn’t really seem to care or register. Again I think that’s because I keep it low key. My daughter is too young to know or care.