You mention getting your wife comfortable. Did she know about your interests, before you were married. Either way, is it possible for everyone to cross that bridge with their spouse? I have read stories with both good and “bad”/unsuccessful outcomes. Bottom line, if you had to choose and your choice is your spouse above all, should I just keep to myself because there is no guarantee everyone could embrace such a complicated and EASILY miss understood interest? Don’t get me wrong, I would love to hold nothing back when connecting with someone you love but... let’s be honest, no one who is not a DL could even fathom the real (not twisted impulsive explanation) a DL’s rational for why they are who they are. So... is it worth the risk?