Mee

Two Chapters. Merry Early Christmas, or enjoy the holidays in general! 43 - The Hand that Feeds You One pair of eyes just barely reigned above the other. Joyce quietly watched her secretary, quietly contemplating just what she was supposed to say. How she was supposed to think. Sheila’s pupils could barely rise to the challenge, falling far below their mark and weighed by sheer guilt she could only find herself realizing now. Courtesy of the executive floor, not even the sounds of countless employees and office workers could save either one from the deafening silence. With a floor left only to a small handful of people, nothing could rescue them from an inevitable clash. “...Sheila,” Joyce started, yet the air was already running thin in her lungs, “...I… I want to hear it from you. Tell me: what happened the other night?” The sleeves on Sheila’s blazer amassed wrinkles like they were bacterial colonies against her sides. Her shoulders were perched and contracted, so stiff that she could barely even rub one trembling hand with the other in her lap. To call it just fear would be a gross misrepresentation of all the cacophony going on inside the woman’s head and heart right then. It couldn’t be understated just how dazed she still was by the delayed remorse and regret of her actions, and only after being hit with pressure was she able to admit to any of it. And yet despite cracking under the pressure brought unto herself, Sheila’s chin aimed for the floor evened out once her head literally rose to the challenge. Her shoulders broadened with a breath from her nostrils, and she blinked. It doesn’t matter what I do now… I have to tell her. I have to tell her everything… And so she started by saying after a quiet nod, “Ms. Summers, I… The other night when you were gone on a trip, I went to your house to get a file from your computer… I was a little bit surprised to see Emily,” Little Ms. Summers, “but after making sure it was okay with her, I went to your office…” A short pause ensued, either to let her honesty and loyalty soak in, or just so both Sheila and Joyce could prepare themselves. “But on the way, I…” she brushed her temple with a finger, like it might somehow subside the shame and embarrassment, “I noticed that a…door was open.” “Did you think it was my office?” Joyce found the strength to stay straight-laced, holding her elbows. But deep down, under the hood, beyond the statuesque face of discipline and wrath, there lay the tiniest cracks, hoping for something. Take it. Tell me it was a mistake. Give me something…! Sheila gestured her head, only in the totally wrong direction. Rather than up and down, she swept from side to side, plagued with a look of shame. Whether it be her conviction as a person or her contractual obligation, not even under the weight of her career dying in real time would she falter. “...No…I knew it wasn’t your office. And…I knew that I shouldn’t, and it was wrong of me… But I did anyway.” With whatever dignity she had left, the least she owed to herself and her boss was trying to save at least the rest of that. But from Joyce’s perspective she was burning through her words faster than she could think them up. She knew what she was doing? She chose to snoop through things she had no business with? She didn’t know whether to turn up the heat or try not to cry. How could Sheila be putting her in a position like this?! The displeasure wasn’t being kept so subtly anymore as Joyce combed her hair for a moment, losing focus on her target while she asked, “Wh…what did you think you were walking into?” What did she think? Sheila went quiet, not from the shame, but for a true moment of introspection. It was entirely a selfish decision, but between it being for pure self-satisfaction in the name of curiosity or something more deliberate, well, she struggled to determine which. Her actions weren’t noble and they were certainly underhanded. She undoubtedly took advantage of her boss’ generosity and abused it for the sake of herself, to whatever end that might be. She not only put herself in a compromising position, yet so inconsiderately hooked a chain around her employer and their partner in the process. All for what? Just to know for certain who the diapers were for? “I…I wasn’t sure.” Joyce flapped her lashes and her expression froze. Didn’t know? Didn’t know why she was doing something that she wasn’t supposed to? “Y-you…so you did it anyway…?” From poor Joyce’s point of view, all of Sheila’s expressions were on the fritz today, because only now was she nodding when she was supposed to have been shaking instead. Quietly, and trying to do so calmly, Joyce’s hand underneath the desk continually flexed itself, fingers flinging in and out from her fist, trying to wring just whatever oozing discomfort was sifting through herself. “I…once I went into the nursery, I–” and her sorrowful look shriveled into paralyzed apology the moment Ms. Summers looked practically ready to shoot lasers from her eyes. “Th-the room,” Sheila meekly censored herself, “I…” and with her pride on the line as at least an honest person, the sky-high office was starting to feel warm with the heat localized around the secretary’s cheeks. Before the words could even leave her mouth her vision was dropping, just beneath her boss’ eyes and taking comfort somewhere at the nose. “...I was excited.” The truth had started to spill, yet hardly any of the emotional rewards were hitting, which was hopefully just a delayed reaction. Sheila’s lips were starting to implode as for the first time in ever she was learning what it was like to be on the literal receiving end of her boss. This wasn’t like any other time in experiencing the byproduct of someone else impacting her boss. This wasn’t residual anger or an upset influenced by some other factor that Sheila’s job was to decipher on her own. It was the first time she could readily identify the cause and had no way of dodging the crossfire, all because she was the root, cause, and epicenter of it. Just so she didn’t make a face, Joyce blinked. Excited? Excited. Was it fair to say how real this couldn’t have been? How imaginary that it might be, for a trusted employee who has been loyal for so long, taken care of so greatly, paid so well, to suddenly run amok so strangely? And yet, strange was precisely the name of the game. Stupefying. Surprising. Bewildering. Never once did Joyce actually consider Sheila’s stance on the matter, precisely because it wasn’t her business to that degree. But alternatively, it didn’t change the fact that Sheila was involved. As involved as Joyce had made her since the conception of custom-made diapers…! And then came another taboo. “D-does…does Emily know?” It was a quiet question from Sheila, yet the words came no less quickly to Joyce’s ears, scraping her insides like nails on chalk. Another forbidden topic that this time there wasn’t any real censorship for. No substitute like there was “room” for “nursery.” There may have been Emmy, but god forbid that had to be mentioned too. This was work and Emily had no business in it. She didn’t belong in an office like this, like she was a discussion topic… Not for things like this! It triggered almost a brief reprieve in Joyce’s mind, making her remember their discussion last night. She didn’t want to associate Emily with this side of her life, now largely for reasons like this. It was also another reminder of how Sheila apparently shared certain information with Emily over dinner, which in itself was only mildly frustrating, yet they were dealing with far bigger issues. With a tightened lid on a can of emotions already spewing high-pressure fumes from forming cracks, somehow she kept it together. “No. She doesn’t.” Yet, it would more than likely be a tough conversation they’d need to have. Just like this one, though probably worse. Thankfully Sheila was for once consistent with expectations as Joyce watched her nod slightly. “...Ms. Summers…would it be alright if I explained things?” Not as an excuse, because Sheila was more than certain of her faults. But at least as a way to offer insight to her boss with just how much of a mess Sheila’s mind was. “Yes.” Yes! Please! Explain something! Give me SOMETHING to work with! An excuse, a miraculous illness that somehow makes you prone to wandering into rooms…! Alcohol? Hypnosis? Drugs? Some kind of delirium pill that makes your body someone else’s and your mind no longer your own? Anything that had by this point a less than zero percent chance of being used, yet a point of fiction Joyce hoped for nonetheless. “Ever since you had me put in that order under an ex-chairman’s name…” her spiel slowed down, just to let her boss’ fury catch up, lest she might be saying something too explicitly. But she hadn’t, so she continued. “Ever since that point, I’ve…been thinking.” Thinking. So long. So much. So many questions. Yet not a single person to talk to about it. Not a single soul she would ever share with other than herself. It was her job to be a walking bag of corporate secrets, and now that meant interpersonal ones too, apparently. Deep, dark secrets, more than likely, yet just the fragments of them. “It…it’s not my place, and I know not to ask questions, so I never have and I never would, but…that doesn’t stop me from wondering, I suppose…” Even admitting to her own human nature felt shameful. She was supposed to be perfect and infallible, precisely because her boss wasn’t. Curiosity was far too human for someone like Sheila. She was a pillar and thus had no business leaning out to anything but what was being directly supported above her. Yet she did lean, and it was with eye-opening relief that the power structure hadn’t collapsed completely because of it. After clearing her throat, Sheila continued. “Ms. Summers, if…I’m being honest,” because that’s all she could be, “there have been many points lately where you’ve seemed more…affected by things than usual.” And now she was criticizing her boss? When would she be saved by a killing smite for such insolence? “We’ve even had some indirect discussions about ‘friends’ or subjects…” And as Sheila elaborated purely from a place of self-explanation, Joyce tried to keep her eyebrows and the corners of her mouth afloat “So with all due respect, I consider it my job to help balance your work…as well as understand at least some of your issues… –B-but, that doesn’t excuse what I did!” she quickly interrupted herself. “I-I just mean that I’ve become invested as far as things go with your moods and circumstances…I…I figured for a while now that there was someone in your life, though I guess I didn’t realize the specifics until that night at the hotel…” And above the literal conversation, Joyce was trying to chase away the dread of that night while Sheila shooed away the fluffy feelings she was starting to get. Thankfully Joyce’s leg was soft, otherwise she wouldn’t be able to hear the guilty party over the sound of her finger rapidly tapping something that could be much harder and much louder. But yes, that night. The night Sheila effectively babysat Emily, an action that Joyce condoned. “Ever since I offered that night to watch Emily until you got back, I…haven’t been able to stop thinking about your relationship because…” her voice briefly departed into the void. “I…because I’m used to staying on top of things… Somewhere along the way, I…I think I somehow convinced myself that better understanding your relationship with Emily might somehow help me do my job with you…” At least outwardly, it was a calm and quiet collection and intake of testimony and thought for Joyce. Piecing together whatever she could to make sense of Sheila. But as she was beginning to understand it, Sheila was predisposed to wanting to know things; a partial control freak. How eerily familiar that sounded, but what it didn’t excuse was simplifying her boss’ deepest secret into a personal factoid meant to affect performance and work ethic…! As the thoughts fell into place Sheila could barely seem to sit still. Squirming and wiggling in just the slightest ways, shifting pupils that panned from left to right just as they started to settle on something or anything. “So…” Joyce blinked, just as simply as the explanation for all this apparently and supposedly was. “You…you were curious?” Curiosity may not have killed the cat, but it sure did put careers at risk, apparently. With a moral compass that at least still knew how to point north, Sheila bobbed her head, nodding. “I’ve been for a while now, and it’s no excuse for what I’ve done… I’m happy and grateful you’ve decided to rely on me so many times for personal matters, even things partially related to work, but I feel that it’s finally put me in a position where I’ve made a careless and selfish mistake…” So it was indulging just a selfish urge. Joyce sighed as her hand covered her face. “How much?” “S…sorry?” “How much of it? How much did you see?” “...All of it…to my knowledge.” Everything. The diapers. The changing table. The pail. The crib. The giant stuffed bear. “...The closet?” Another solemn nod from Sheila. The clothes. But then again, Emily was the one greeting her at the door in footie pajamas… Emily greeted her. Dressed like that. Just like at the hotel, Joyce approved Sheila to take her girlfriend up and get her ready for bed. She told her to behave. To listen. She gave Sheila instructions on how to handle her adult girlfriend. She even gave the name of her stuffed animal… While a ball of guilt and shame sat across her desk, the blame and frustration was starting to feel sorely misplaced, at least somewhat. Sheila, under orders, was made to put in an order for adult, babyish diapers. While she may not tell anyone else, it wasn’t feasibly possible to make her not talk to herself? And when Emily was sad, Joyce sure was. Depending on the situation, maybe she was mad, even. Regardless, they were all uncharacteristic moods and mannerisms she brought into the office. What’s more, Joyce had already involved Sheila in a litoney of nondescript, “hypothetical,” conversations that certainly didn’t take a college degree to deduce. She even made her orchestrate a meeting with a baby furniture company…! And then the other night. Christ, how could this only be hitting her now, right in the midst of condemning her employee?! Sheila certainly did something she wasn’t supposed to, but if not for complete negligence from chiefly Joyce, and possibly a small bit from Emily following that (who was also just as preventable), there never would have been a chance for any of this to happen. The nursery stayed locked up for a reason, yet one early flight and a dirty diaper in need of discarding was enough to make the mommy forget how to close up shop. Consequently that meant giving Emily a chance to misbehave, and that also meant the same for anyone curious enough to walk right by a half-open door that should’ve been shut…! Giving the guilty culprit a second glance, the self-disgust couldn’t be any more evident within the judge at hand. This was hardly a form of justice at this point. Sheila needn’t say anything else and it all would have been more than enough for Joyce to see the straight hypocrisy and foolishness; the absurdity for thinking all of this could be exclusively one person’s fault. Or at the very least, just to see how much of it was really with herself. Sheila continuing to be fed small bite-sized pieces of information about Joyce and Emily’s personal lives that somehow involved diapers, cribs, clothing, and caretaking was no fault of her own. She listened and consumed, but she did her job nonetheless. She was involved because it was her job to be, and expecting her not to react to any of that in some way was moronic. She’s human! This was no isolated incident. It was all continuous gaslighting and Joyce forgot to turn off the stove. With Sheila sitting in her own wallow, too ashamed to look her boss in the eyes, it was ironically just another case of her secretary doing what she did best. Shouldering the responsibility. Of course she was curious. Of course she had questions. It was Amy all over again. Constantly and consistently their secret had been dangled over her like a carrot and stick, just baiting Sheila into wanting to know more. It was Joyce that HR would have a field day with. Yet thank goodness for independently contracted workers… Nevertheless, this was nothing but unjust discipline. This was plain entrapment. And with only more doubt caving in on her, that cleared the overhead for plenty more questions and misdirections. Was it really so weird anymore that Sheila stayed after the fact to make Emily dinner? She watched Emily once already while Joyce was away, so maybe she misunderstood it as a silent order from her boss? An expectation now after the business dinner? “Ms. Summers…?” Sheila gently nudged the spotlight back on Joyce, already sounding hesitant to disrupt the woman’s inner monologue. “You have my word: I have not and will not tell anyone about this…no matter what happens. I’m fully prepared to accept the consequences…” Whatever they may be. Regardless of how she felt. The gap in power and status was simply too mighty and too great for the guilty party to even conceive that somehow maybe the fault wasn’t just with themselves. “Sheila,” Joyce’s eyes wandered the office for a moment before finally making direct contact with Sheila’s. “The door to the…room,” she had seen it herself from the footage, but trauma and worry were great agents for fast-acting amnesia, “was it open?” “Yes…” Sheila offered a half-nod, finally bonding with the glue that stuck her to the seat. So open, though. Open and enticing. Tempting. A noise left Joyce’s mouth as she exhaled, witness to the final nail in the coffin. “Sheila…after hearing your side of things and considering my own actions…” and just maybe, slightly Emily’s too… “I think I’ve put you in a position with…unfair expectations.” Her mouth had gone sideways as her front from earlier was starting to feel far less than called for. “No, please– Ms. Summers. What I did was wrong, no matter the context. I just wanted to explain myself so I could–” “--No, Sheila,” Sheila’s words went limp the moment Joyce sliced between them. “I’m not saying at all that what you did wasn’t wrong. Make no mistake. You went into my home without me being there and specifically snooped somewhere that officially you had no reason to be. You have my permission to come and go as you need to, but you know that’s specifically related to work only. I’m still upset, Sheila…but I think I may have been treating this a bit too harshly…” It was probably only a definitive statement that Sheila was still on the hook as the main reason for why the woman didn’t try to say anything back to Joyce. Call her a glutton for punishment, but her conscience could rest lighter than it’d just been feeling with some form of atonement. “What you said is true,” Joyce admitted, trying to hide her own guilt now. “I’ve involved you in a lot of things that I’ve never let you in on fully. Not once have you ever asked me about any of the things I ask of you, but still you do so diligently and exceptionally.” Tone down the praise a little, Joyce…we ARE supposed to be reprimanding her… “It’s ultimately because of me that you’ve been exposed to stuff like this. And…if I’m being a bit more realistic,” and honesty was so hard to abide by, right now, “I’m sure you have gotten your own ideas about what’s going on…” And just for a moment, only the distant hum of the building’s vents were talking. Just like how Sheila resolved herself to finally sit still, she didn’t dare try to cut her boss off or jump in any more than she already had. Whether in good or bad graces, Ms. Summers was simply someone not to be interrupted. But with every pause or deliberate kind of speech, Joyce tried to hide the quirks, kinks and chinks in the innerworkings of her mind while she tried to navigate this. How was she supposed to stay firm without mentioning diapers, cribs, or any of the red flag words when it had everything to do with what Sheila had done? That wasn’t to say Sheila wasn’t picking up on any of this. From her seasoned perspective, the awkward balance in her boss’ voice, the tilted expression, furrowed brow and constant luls of silence were all a testament to how much of a screw-up she’d caused. Disciplining Sheila wasn’t just weird because it hadn’t happened since ever; it was difficult because it felt so inappropriate. And yet it did. But it didn’t. Yet the thoughts were interrupted when Joyce finally clasped her hands, finding what she believed were hopefully the correct words to immediately skip to. “Sheila, I’m upset and a little angry right now, but it doesn’t change how much you’ve done for me…and that I expect you to continue doing.” And what didn’t go unheard by the woman was an implication of the future. Continuing to provide for her boss. She couldn’t hide the jump in her eyebrows. “What you did was wrong and unacceptable, but bearing in mind just how much you’ve been involved with already…” sorry, Emily…! “This…isn’t the farthest thing from what I’ve already put you through.” Quite close, actually. Just put everything together in one place and there you have it. There Sheila legitimately had it. No. This can’t be right. I…snooped! I peeked in on her privacy! On Emily’s! I’m the lowest of the low. I took advantage of Emily in a difficult situation. I…she can’t…! She can’t just forgive me…! “But Sheila,” Joyce shifted and her voice became far more severe. “You’re one of my best employees and I want you to know just how important you are to me and this company.” While leaving it at that may have misconstrued it as praise… “For the exact same reason, you need to know how difficult of a position you’re putting me in having to talk to you like this. I’m largely upset in part with how I even found out about all this to begin with!” “Yes…” Sheila remorsefully agreed, nodding with her eyes at the desk again. Finally with her words carrying her criticism to somewhere much more objective and separated from the problematic content, confidence was starting to come with the vocabulary now as well. “You’re my secretary Sheila because of how well you do for me and for your honesty and transparency. That part does not come and go as you choose.” She nodded again. It was a total and whole-hearted agreement. It was the exact kind of pressure and scolding that she needed and wanted. Ms. Summers was a generous woman, so to somehow land back in her good graces unscathed after all of this would’ve been a punishment in itself. The flame was low but the pressure stayed unrelenting. Joyce channeled the best attitude she could; reminiscent of a stern talking-to with a girl sneaking ice cream when she wasn’t supposed to, only now tailored for someone that didn’t spend half their time in diapers. “I can maybe understand what you were thinking, Sheila, but that doesn’t excuse your actions. Despite everything I’ve asked of you, it still stands that you abused a privilege I gave you.” At the very least Joyce didn’t feel the need to remind her of her contractual obligation to maintain secrecy. It was an unfortunate instance of Sheila finally slipping up, but it didn’t change the fact that she was a smart person. “From now on there won’t be any home visits unless I’m contacted and I approve it beforehand. Do I make myself clear?” Without hesitation Sheila agreed on a visual and audible front. “Yes.” “Good. And on that same train of thought: anything that you do at my home needs to be approved from now on. By me and no one else. Understood?” Dinner…she must be referring to that… Another heat of the moment type of situation that Sheila was currently being trained to feel adverse to. While it felt far less damning to have been caught in that situation, that lack of outright guilt made room for embarrassment. “Yes…” “These are all new rules moving forward, and this is me trying to be cognizant of the fact that I’ve involved you in a lot of ways that’ve left room for misinterpretation or mistakes.” And while it didn’t quite sound like one, Joyce said it anyway, “You have my apology for that.” It was bittersweet to everything she had just said before it, and would certainly feel so after, but Sheila wishing to right her legitimate wrongs wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. “There will be a punishment for this, Sheila, but I’m going to need time to think of a fair one.” After all, terminating her right-hand woman felt like more of a punishment to herself, which after exposing Sheila to so much felt almost proper. If only it wasn’t a paradox that still punished Sheila the worst. Thankfully for both parties, firing wasn’t even remotely on the table, much less the same room. “But the last and final thing I’m going to say Sheila is this: no more secrets. If something happens, you tell me. No matter what. Whether you think it was a mistake or you expect me to get upset or angry, it’s still your job to tell me.” Then came her last and deepest cut. “The first person I should hear about my secretary overstaying her welcome at my house is you, Sheila. Not my girlfriend. One of the biggest, if not most important things that I expect from you Sheila is honesty and transparency. One last time. Do I make myself clear?” Sheila’s answer wasn’t immediate, and the delay wasn’t spurred from hesitation. She didn’t dare disagree on a single point, all in part to her selfless attitude and moral compass. Her boss was right in every sense and she had every right to say what she said. Finally digesting the full weight of her words, Sheila opened her mouth. “Y…Yes, Ma’am. I promise. No more secrets. This won’t ever happen again.” The discipline all things considered went down easy, and that made Joyce sigh, easing back just slightly into her chair. “Good. Another important thing is I don’t want this to affect how you do your work, Sheila.” Mostly. “Do as you have been doing and I don’t expect this to happen again.” “Of course.” Sheila was hardly a woman of faith, but the sun seemed to be shining just right on her that hour. If not her boss herself, clearly someone was keeping an eye out… But with the bulk of the branding already behind her, that made what did linger feel much more prominent in Sheila’s mind. Honesty. Being truthful. Truthful about all of it. Sitting there, seeing Ms. Summers seem glad to be past a situation she herself clearly didn’t like, that alone put Sheila’s head in a discomforting place to know that the stones could settle more than this and she had yet to do so. And asking for things to proceed as normal was an easier thing said than done. Neither one probably felt as comfortable as they were putting on, especially Joyce. The shell shock from doing something she had never hoped to was still just starting to set in and she could tell from the way Sheila was back to fidgeting that she was clearly taking it all in as well. But that was that and the past was in the past. “But okay, we’ll leave it at that,” Joyce decided with her best business smile. “Sorry to take up your time, Sheila. Would you mind seeing if there’s anything that I’ll still be able to make it to?” “Yes…” Sheila nodded, but she wasn’t moving from her chair. Her eyes were someplace else, staring off at something far beyond the four walls of Joyce’s office. “M…Ms. Summers? I…I would like to start being honest now, if that’s okay…” And just as they’d surfaced from the turmoil, a hand was pulling them right back in. The light and airy atmosphere that Joyce imagined was starting to come back dried up instantly the moment another towel of dread was cast on them. Most importantly: what in the hell could Sheila possibly have to share now? Joyce the mighty mommy could hardly be put for a scare, so twice now in a single sitting was quite the problem. “Yes…?” Joyce cautiously accepted, though her irrational side was wishing she hadn’t. “I…I was curious.” Sheila stated. Quite clearly with an unavoidable look. Ah, yes, restating the facts. Smart, Sheila! After all, Joyce’s memory was a bit hazy at times, so there wasn’t anything like having a post-meeting reminder, that way she could– “A-and I’m…still curious…” Come again? While her eyes moved, Joyce’s plastered smile did exactly as it was constructed to and nothing else. A perfect mask for the jarring disbelief from what she was starting to hear. Still? Still curious? A-about… “When I…after I saw what I saw…I got the file from your office, and I…had the chance to talk with Emily a little. It…it reminded me of taking her back to your hotel room… And I’m the one that insisted on making her dinner… She wasn’t sure, but I insisted and did it anyway… I wanted to stay and do that because I…guess I wanted to feel like it was at the hotel again…” But that was hardly even scraping at the truth. The identifiable truth that Sheila knew, yet was too afraid to say, but her pride didn’t allow for secrets. Especially not now. Her honesty was demanded and owed. Whether it sounded weird or perverse; disgusting or rage-inducing, it needed to be said and the air needed to be cleared. Otherwise, it was all bound to fester and grow to yet another bursting point, one Sheila imagined that would be far less forgiving than this time. Slowly, Sheila brought a hand to her chest like a structural beam that gave her support. “Ms. Summers…I liked taking care of someone… O…of Emily.” And from Joyce’s corner, her reaction certainly did change. Not one blink this time, but two! And by no means did it stop Sheila’s guilty admission, as she went on to explain, “I…I don’t know why I feel like that, but…I guess it makes me feel similar to how I feel working for you… Satisfaction? But…I also see it as an extension of my work that I do for you. I don’t know if that’s me just trying to justify a different kind of feeling, but I had fun… It was fun getting to make her dinner…I had fun getting to talk to her about you and work…” But it wasn’t the same kind of fun she had with Greg, her fiance. With him it was lovely, romantic and so many other positive words from the nearest, biggest dictionary. But with Emily? Light, airy, pure and fun was all she felt. It put her in a different place. It wasn’t like caring for her dog, or helping direct her boss. It hit all those same veins, but the satisfaction was far too unique. And after seeing the diapers, the stuffed animals, footie pajamas, and even the affection her boss had for Emily… Wasn’t this just babysitting? “I…I liked it a lot, Ms. Summers… Not romantically. In any way whatsoever, but…it made me feel almost like a…caretaker…or something.” Probably more than twenty minutes ago they had gone well past a point of what’d be considered workplace appropriate, hence the shades of red intensifying on the secretary’s face. She was coming to a revelation at the same time she was broadcasting it to her boss. To someone she shared a work relationship with, yet gushing out such personal and intimate details. And like that, curiosity had certainly killed the cat. Good thing Joyce wasn’t one though, so save for her mind she wasn’t in any way seriously harmed. Sh…Sheila…of all people…? And as shocked as Joyce was, that didn’t stop the smile on Sheila’s face. While one was still recovering from the emotional and mental shrapnel, the other could finally breathe with a weight lifted off her shoulders. C…caretaker…? B-babysitter? Joyce looked slightly up. Sheila…?! “I’m…sorry about that, Ms. Summers,” Sheila pressed her lips, looking apologetically happy, of all things. Yet even now she didn’t fear the retaliation of being fired. After all, Ms. Summers was a person of her word? “Would…would you like to discuss anything else?” And now with the shoe certainly on the other foot, the boss could hardly answer to her secretary from so far below. “N…no. Not…right now…” Joyce wanted to at least stand and send her off, but the thought of managing on her two legs was daunting just to think of right then. Curiosity was peculiar, but not unexpected. But liking it…? A single word, yet an entire metric ton of so many things to unpack. What did like even mean? Like… Emily’s kind of like? Joyce’s? Ah! No! She stifled and smothered a scream. With a hand finally rising and plummeting to the top of her desk, she calmly waved. “You…you’re dismissed…” Christ, was termination actually off the table? Sheila was great, but shock was an awfully powerful thing… Miraculously energy had been passed from the scolding to the scolded. Sheila was the one at fault, and yet she was the only one better for it. With a laptop clutched against her chest, Sheila smiled with her departure for the door. Needless to say, nothing of anything seemed to have gone according to expectations. “Ms. Summers?” Sheila called, halfway through the door. “Yes?” “One other thing that I learned…uhm… I wasn’t sure if you knew…” At this point, Joyce was ready to stop her right then and there. Leave the surprises for another day, just so she had the strength left to focus on the rest of her day. But reluctantly, she didn’t and allowed Sheila to speak. “About Emily…” Wait. No. Stop. Stop. Stopstopstopstop! “I…” and Sheila. The same Sheila Joyce had known for years to be a near-robotic, well-oiled machine for work and little else, made a noise from her mouth. A noise that wasn’t words, a grunt, sigh or annoyance. A laugh. A chuckle. Humor? Her mouth closed reflexively, but a puff of air came out with a small chuckle. “I don’t think Emily likes beets very much…” Even now Sheila could see the remains of her dinner plate. All the red, yellow and greens had gone, but the one thing that looked just as prominent from the start was a plate full of purple magenta. While child rearing wasn’t what she went to school for, experience still served as a wonderful tool when it came to diagnosing a picky eater, and that she believed Emily was. …Doesn’t like beets. And thankfully, before Joyce could respond, her office door was shut and she was all alone again. Whether she believed it or not, objectively, Sheila had been disciplined. Yet with a whole can of worms opened because of it. …Beets… Later that evening, Joyce felt distracted, to say the least. So busy wandering in her own mind that she could barely even focus In the pursuit of trying to make heads and tails of what happened with her discussion with Sheila, the world around her and the work before her was totally secondary to the shock that she was still trying to process. Sheila liked it. She liked taking care of Emily? But what does that say about all the baby stuff? Did she approve of that too? How the hell am I supposed to work around her, now? Do we NEED to talk about this again? I have to work with her on a daily basis…so what now? She was smiling! Sheila! What’s the next step? Do I ask her more questions? T…try to find out more? Do…do I tell–! “Oof…” a quiet sigh followed by a warm squelch came from player number two once she announced her arrival. Her second announcement really, as Joyce was too busy on her computer to notice her enter the office. Before Joyce knew it, there Emily was, straddling her thigh with her eyes on the computer screen. Only after a few seconds of silence did Emily tilt her head back with a curious grin, dropping the hair hanging on her ear. “Whatcha working on?” While it had yet to be said, it was obvious Joyce had been spacing out, to which all she could give was her own smile, albeit a bit more embarrassed. “Just…catching up on some work I didn’t get done today,” Joyce explained while she pulled a certain somebody’s T-shirt out of the back of their diaper. “Very clever, by the way.” “What? How?” Poor Emily. Lying just wasn’t part of her skillset. Stooping her head forward, sinking her eyelids and raising her eyebrows, Joyce coyly remarked, “The fact that you’re telling me you have a diaper that needs changing?” And like Joyce’s leg really was a horsie, Emily squeezed her own together just to hang tight with a bashful look. “No…it’s…not that wet…” “Uh-huh,” Joyce dismissed and ended it with a kiss. “Think you can hang tight for a little longer? I wanna finish this report I’m working on.” “Can I watch? Oh! Wait!” and Emily half-waddled off with Joyce leaning out of her chair just to watch her rear slip past the door. Not much later and she came back. Not with a phone in hand but instead a puzzle cube. “Ah- no, in my lap, please. No horsey rides tonight,” Joyce corrected and directed with a laugh, finding things a bit more comfortable this way. Thankfully there wasn’t much longer for her work. Emily was small, but Joyce wasn’t super strong… Sitting up straight, Joyce rested her chin on Emily’s shoulder while she tried to focus, now taking in her co-pilot as a lovely little ball of white noise. Well, white noise only for so long. “Can I ask a question?” “Hmm?” Joyce hummed while she rubbed Emily’s cheek with her own. “Did you talk to Sheila today?” While there wasn’t any piano for music to suddenly stop, Joyce’s typing certainly did. Only after remembering to act natural did she resume. “I…did. It wasn’t exactly fun…” Joyce sighed, “I’ve never had to have a ‘talk’ with Sheila before, so it was a bit much for us both…” But so, so much more for Joyce. And she knew without a doubt it would be so much for Emily. Not to mention it was edging on a line so dangerously close to what Emily’s superstition was fearful of from the start. Sheila knowing and telling other people. In spite of everything, Joyce still believed in Sheila’s discretion, even if she was now seeing a side of her that she could never even fathom. “...Do you not wanna talk about it?” Quite frankly, Joyce had enough of everything for one day. She didn’t want the stress of conversations and breaking things down for others, especially Emily. There would be no secrets, but that didn’t mean there couldn’t be a clause for how long it took to reveal said information. “...To be honest, no…not really. But I promise, I’ll tell you about it later. It’s a lot to unpack, but I think we’ll be fine. Trust me?” Once she could process it herself and lastly dilute it into something safer for Emily, then she could know. And as a pleasant surprise, Joyce earned herself the loveliest kiss on the cheek. “Kay. Mommy,” Emily giggled. A content noise left Joyce as she rested her head completely now, still managing to finish the last few sentences she had to. “You seem kinda tired,” Emily remarked, though too busy looking at her puzzle in-hand rather than the screen or her partner. A soft smile grew on the woman’s face. “Could you tell I’m lying if I said that I wasn’t?” “Yeah,” Emily said thoughtlessly, sounding like she missed the tone of Joyce’s banter entirely. “Mm. Well, maybe a little… But don’t worry; not tired enough that I can’t change a diaper or two.” “I can do it myself, you know…?” Anything to alleviate Joyce’s stress and workload? “And saying silly stuff like that is what keeps you in your wet diapers five minutes longer.” A bold, but expected taunt. By now Emily should know the kind of bear she was poking… And as her own form of retaliation, Emily gyrated her hips, wiggling in place just to rub it in. Though…maybe it sounded better in her head. All Joyce got was a frictionless massage from a plastic butt sliding around in her lap. Emily got to become more acquainted with her spongy seat… “Oh? Is that your way of asking for ten more minutes?” “N…no…” “Emily, I appreciate the offer, but I’m not that tired. I’ll never be too tired when it comes to taking care of you.” A wet kiss made good on emphasizing her point. “Got it?” “I figured you’d say something like that… Can I at least help make dinner?” “Only if I can get another picture of you in your apron?” “...No diapers though, right?” “Sure.” Maybe when her back is turned, though… “But how was your day? Good?” “Sorta. Same old same old, but I did my chores.” “Good job,” Joyce spoke with genuine praise. Even if it wasn’t much, especially for an adult, that didn’t change the pride Joyce loved to indulge herself with. Emily could brush her teeth and it’d still be cause for celebration. It needn’t be mentioned, but talking about Emily’s days always forced the association with why she had so much free time to begin with. Now with the unspoken topic on the table, Joyce, of all people, decided to broach it. That being said, not in the way Emily was sorely expecting. “So…? Did you ever decide to give Amy a call?” Suddenly Emily looked coincidentally busy trying to pull two interlinked wooden pisces apart. “Uh…no…not yet. I…haven’t decided.” “You can’t decide on something if you don’t know what to expect yet?” Call Joyce crazy, but she was somehow the most receptive to Emily hearing out Amy’s offer. For work! Why, though? Maybe at least in Joyce’s eyes it didn’t strike her as traditional work. She wasn’t expecting the same nine-to-five that she lost Emily to every day of the week. Not the same kind of workload, stress or unavailability. Not only that, but she had expectations and direct connections to Emily’s boss this way. It was a safe and reliable way to keep Emily busy, and while she’d never say it out loud, it was a way for Joyce to…supervise? “I…know… But is it even going to be actual work? I wanna….do work-work, Joyce…” Emily said as she tinkered with a logic puzzle. The more time went on and on the farther her memories of doing actual tasks drifted away. The more she relaxed and lazed around, the more out of touch with being a working, contributing adult she felt herself becoming. Call it a judgmental attitude, but working for Amy didn’t seem very official… In Emily’s eyes it was almost like going over to a neighbor’s house to help with stuff like raking or packing boxes. What kind of work could Amy possibly have for her? Modeling? How was she supposed to model for tailored outfits? She certainly wasn’t good at sewing either. Correction, she had never even touched a needle and thread. Half of it was downplaying the opportunity, and the other half was downplaying herself. Inadequate skills for a job that probably wouldn’t even be a job. So many thoughts that involved so many doubts, all allowed to collect and permeate and not a single phone call had been made. “Work is work, Emily. Calling Amy doesn’t mean you have to commit to anything? Besides, it might help you keep busy during the day?” And give me back all the household responsibilities… “Mhm…” Emily nodded anxiously. She pulled at her puzzle a bit harder. “It would be nice to be a bit busier again…” “Right?” While a traditional job Joyce was certainly not in favor of, she could always get behind filling up Emily’s day. “And just so I can be your number one supporter, I’ll go ahead and let Amy know that you’ll call her Monday morning.” “Wh-what?” Emily spun her head, nearly smacking Joyce on the nose. “No! Don’t! I’ll call her!” When I’m ready! “And it’s already been well-over a couple weeks. You had your chance, Emily, but now I’m gonna help.” “Don’t…!” Emily upped her whine with an annoyed rub on Joyce’s leg. “You’ll be thanking me later~,” Joyce gave her another kiss right before sliding her off and standing up. “Now if you drop it, I won’t make you wait another five minutes and I’ll change you right now?” And Emily’s lips did a dance as her mouth opened, but only whimpers and grunts came out instead. “N…nnn….not fair…” “It’s because I love you,” Joyce chuckled, draping herself over Emily like she was a jacket. “Now, ready to go get changed?” “...Yes.” “Good.” With that discussion unfortunately ended, one short trip later to the nursery and Joyce was on her second wind with how she moved about her station like she was working a kitchen. Emily was her sweet and tasty morsel, the powder and wipes were her tools and ingredients, and lastly the diaper served as just the most breathtaking, adorable garnish she’d ever laid her eyes on. “Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you,” Emily spoke over the loud diaper tapes. “I got a call from Michael today.” “Really now?” Joyce did look curious, partly because she usually expected to be the first one they reached out to. Then again, she had been particularly busy today… When did she last check her phone? “Carol was trying to reach you about something. I dunno what though… Maybe it was about that kink-vestment thing?” “Kink-vestment?” Joyce looked taken aback, and that only made Emily giggle. “Came up with that one on my own. Good, right?” And suddenly a speckle of white powder was on Emily’s nose. “Silly. Very silly,” Joyce grinned, wiping her nose off with a wet wipe. “But okay, thank you for letting me know.” “Oh!” Emily openly eureka’d as she took Joyce’s hands and was lifted up and off the table. “How about you call her and I get dinner started? Please? I’ll just get the pots and ingredients out, and stuff!” In other words, no knives and chopping, no stoves and boiling, no ovens and hot flames, no nothing without Joyce’s supervision. Baby rules could be weird, but Emily wasn’t willing to die on that hill today. “...Okay, fine. Yes, you can,” Joyce agreed and Emily tried not to squeal with delight. It wasn’t often she won “debates” like that. But what could she say? A new diaper simply felt like shedding her skin. She was fresh and newly rejuvenated. A new day and a new Emily. Stronger than ever before! “Now scoot,” she signaled the start by swatting a padded behind. “I brought back some chicken and vegetables today. Think you can get those out?” “Can do!” “Thank you, and no running, please!” Joyce called after a crinkling blur. Doubling back to her office, Joyce found her phone, and sure enough there was a missed call from Carol. About what, though, Joyce wasn’t sure. By the time she came into the kitchen and at the island the number was dialing. “Right there…” Joyce instructed in a whisper, pointing Emily’s destinations out as she appeared with all the right things in hand. “We need spices…–oh, don’t worry about those, though. Those cabinets are a bit high; I’ll get them aft– Oh, Carol? Is that you?” “Hey Joyce! Sorry– I tried reaching you earlier. I think I called at a bad time though.” “No, no…sorry, it’s just been a busy day. Is everything alright?” “Hm? Of course! Michael and Jackie are good. If Emily’s there, tell her I said ‘hi’!” Dropping the phone to her shoulder, Joyce mimicked a handsy wave at Emily. “Carol says ‘hi’.” “Hi!” Emily grunted right back, dropping a chair beside the counter with her bum sticking out. But before Joyce continued the conversation, she was right on her feet, one-handedly sliding Emily off the chair and carrying it back to the table. In a lowered whisper she looked awfully stern. “I said leave the spices to me, got it? No high places.” And Emily, who was well aware of how much she was trying to push her luck, relented with a sigh, trying instead to find anything closer to the ground that she may have missed. “Sorry…” Joyce had the phone back up to her ear, though half her attention had gone to watching her charge like a hawk now. “Emily says ‘hi’ too. So what’s going on?” “Well first, I’m sorry that whole event I took you to didn’t really seem to work out. I figured I’d try anyway…” “No, no, thank you for inviting me in the first place! If nothing else, it was pretty…eye-opening?” That being said, after a particular thing that happened there, she wasn’t going to be keen on asking for another invitation in the future… “Well, I’m not going to go into a whole lot, but I feel like there was something about that night you didn’t tell me…?” “S…sorry?” “You remember Logan, right? The host of the event?” “Yes…” Joyce said with half her head in the game. The other was ordering her body to grab a glass above Emily that she was trying to reach for, just before she could start to get any ideas. After a tender rub on her head Joyce was sitting back down. “Y-yeah, I remember? What about him?” “Well, he said someone came to him after the event and they were asking for you? Something about wanting to apologize?” And a name had yet to be said, but Joyce was already squeezing her phone. “Uh…huh?” “Do you know anyone named Isabelle?” 44 - Business As Usual Self-built success and self-made achievements always felt fulfilling. Hard work and luck that put you so high off the ground in such a lavish and spacious place was always something that could make a person grin. Similarly, being at the peak of performance and power also meant getting to dictate yourself and everything below, hence why Joyce wasn’t in the office today. Given recent…events and developments, the start of the week today was a pseudo-prolonged weekend with most of her work getting done from home. A work from home day was perfect in avoiding some of the personal politics, ironically. Maybe it was bad to say, but admittedly, Joyce may have been avoiding certain people that would remain anonymous… Coincidentally, she hadn’t been speaking with her secretary very much that day. But that was naturally a coincidence, of course. Success wasn’t without its trials and tribulations, however. While the work in the grand scheme was fun, and of course the expensive treatments and influx of wealth did make it all worthwhile, it didn’t change the struggles that came with being so intimate with her work. Sheila may have managed and framed her day, but setting the groundwork was only half the battle. Reports, writings and documents were always going by Joyce like a revolving door. There was always the option of deferring it to someone else, yet that meant surrendering the responsibility and control her position was supposed to have. In other words, the work could be stressful, but it was her work and no one else’s. Like many things, lately, there were just things she wouldn’t let anyone else have. Pleasantly selfish by her nature, Joyce exhaled as the home office chair rolled back against the shelf. “Just a minute past noon o’ clock…” Joyce muttered to herself, glancing at the time. And like that, a minute more her break would be extending by. And with that it was time for lunch, and time for checking in on things…! Watering the plants, dusting the shelves…checking the diapers… She made sure to put on a dramatic reveal when she bobbed her head out from the corner, just to surprise Emily laying on the couch. But a slight problem with that, being that Emily wasn’t there. Tucking her mouth behind her cheek, Joyce puffed as she walked around, trying to pin down the whereabouts of her charge. “Where did she toddle off to?” Mommy muttered under her breath, peeking in the empty kitchen, then double backing to the nursery. The guest room? Just before she was about to start using her words, only on the third trip around the apartment did something seem out of place. A particular door was closed. One that usually stayed open, because there was enough trust by now to keep it that way when diapers were in use… She didn’t knock, nor did she call. After all, what was there to hide? Twisting the unlocked knob, Joyce walked into the bathroom, immediately noticing that the light was on. And before she could notice– “J-Joyce?! Why didn’t you knock?” a frightened little girl cried from the corner. And rather than answer a silly question like that, Joyce turned her head to face her and said, “Emmy? What are you doing in here?” Poor Emily, clearly having thought she had all the time in the world to do what needed to be done, was somewhat stealthily squatting beside the toilet, hanging on to the closed lid with her other arm hooked around Pip. “J-just…” her eyes dropped down to the toilet. “Ch...checking on stuff…” Checking on things. Emily, Joyce’s sweet, cute, dependent little girl, snug in a damp diaper, had miraculously decided she wanted to play pretend and be the plumber that was messing with their toilet. Well, from the heated look on her face, Joyce tried to hide her bemused smile, barely standing from cuteness overload. Poor Emily. She could sneeze and Joyce would be squealing. “Uh-huh…?” Joyce nodded, and it was a silent understanding that the little girl had been found out, but it didn’t stop her from trying. “Sweetie, you know you shouldn’t be playing around the grownup potty?” Urgh. Grownup potty. It hit Emily like a truck and blossomed butterflies in her stomach. The way she said it so sweetly and syrupy, as if the girl couldn’t put mature thoughts together whatsoever…! Her knees were shaking from trying to support herself physically, mentally, and emotionally. The regret felt instant from being caught like a deer in headlights. What gives? She planned for this! Joyce was supposed to be working now, wasn’t she? Or…shoot! How much time had gone by? Wasn’t she in the clear? Crap! “Come on,” Joyce softly beckoned, holding out a hand, and weakly, Emily took it without much explanation. And on the way out Joyce scolded, “Emmy, sweetheart, you’re only allowed in the bathroom when Mommy is too, understood?” “...Yes…” “That’s when we brush your teeth or it’s bath time,” she continued, just because she loved to hear the sound of her own authority. Correction, she loved to see Emily squirm from the pressure. Emily nodded, trying to reconsider her plans as well as maybe realize she was in the clear? Sure, her plan was foiled and she’d been “caught,” but apparently Joyce hadn’t actually figured out what she was trying to do, thank God… That would’ve been definitely embarrassing. She dared not smirk, not even when standing directly behind Joyce. Somehow she had eyes in the back of her head. Weird, but Mommy was omnipotent in the strangest of ways. Enough to make Emily fearful of challenging her strength. Better to be right alongside it than on the receiving end… So cutting her losses, Emily sighed as she resigned to live with the discomfort in her tummy for a little longer. After Joyce went back to work she’d try again… “Sorry, Mommy…” Emily muttered an apology, and a pleasant smile grew on her partner. “It’s okay, honey, but no more playing in the bathroom, alright?” Maybe locking it again could be a good measure… Or even better, what about just a lock for the toilet? Did they make that sort of thing? Oh, the ideas…! “Uh huh…” “Good. Now, is somebody ready for lunch?” The perks to having your master chef girlfriend working from home. “Yep!” “That’s what I like to hear!” Joyce beamed on their way to the kitchen. A gushy, squirmy Emily was always nice, but maybe a giggly happy one was just a teensy bit better? Another perk to working from home was the perfect excuse to keep Emily in diapers all day. After all, if her caretaker was going to be around, what reason was there not to? At first Emily was hesitant, primarily out of selflessness for interfering with Joyce’s work. Though, all it took was a little bit of insistence, reasoning and possibly sending her to bed in a diaper already to get the ball rolling. Having a big baby in the house was hardly an inconvenience to her work, come to find out. Emily was independent and (usually) responsible enough to be far from anything high maintenance, unless Joyce wanted her to be, and it always made for the perfect excuse to drift from her work just to peek inside her girlfriend’s cute pampers. Though, maybe the lack of constant supervision was getting Emily in places she shouldn’t be… “What were we thinking for food, huh?” Joyce asked while she looked for plates. “We can do…salad? Fruit? Sandwiches?” At least from the office ordering food was more her speed, but it felt a bit unfair to expect her imaginary toddler to read from a long and complicated lunch menu… “Do we have peanut butter?” Emily asked, and Joyce chuckled. “Yes, we do. And jelly,” she connected the dots. “How about that and some bananas?” “Yeah!” Emily readily agreed. PB&J paired with bananas? What a wonderful combination that sounded like…! “Then that is exactly what my little princess shall get~!” Joyce intoned right before smothering her girlfriend’s lips. “I think I may just want you for lunch!” she teased and Emily tugged away with a bashful grin. And Emily didn’t need to ask, but it went without saying that her meal would be going with the finest sippy cup of juice, curated and aged within the perfect window of four days since being purchased at the local grocery store. And Joyce thought her wine was good… “Oh, baby,” Joyce called like it was an afterthought, but it wasn’t. It was something she’d been dying to say since she spotted her little deviant misbehaving by the toilet. “Go poopy now so I can change you before I put you in your high chair, okay?” From Emily’s perspective, it was just another moment of abrupt and horrible timing that her mommy girlfriend always seemed to nail. No precursor or sign that she was going to talk about anything so personal so openly and unashamedly. “H-huh…?” And Joyce, without skipping a beat, plainly repeated, “Go potty so I can change you? You don’t wanna sit down in a messy diaper, honey.” There would certainly be some waterworks to go with the telltale smell. She knew?! Emily’s worried expression was starting to show, and it became clear she knew exactly what she was seeing from the start. Emily wasn’t actually playing in the bathroom, would you believe it. Instead, she was doing the best she could to abide Joyce’s very demanding diaper rules… A small reason she never voiced openly about today being a baby day was the fact that she had yet to make a…movement since early yesterday. If she was stuck in diapers all day, there was hardly a chance in hell she’d actually get to use the toilet…! But when Joyce caught her, she figured it out in seconds. Holding Pip, just like she was trained to, Emily was trying to give herself all the stimulus she needed to mess herself. And it would’ve worked too, had it not been for that meddling Mommy…! So Emily’s muscles tightened as she didn’t know how to look or respond. She’d been found out and was hardly prepared for the brunt of it. And the entire time her mommy was watching her. Calmly and expectant. And quivering from Emily’s mouth, she mumbled, “I…I don’t need to–” “--Yes, you do need to go potty,” Joyce finished for her, “and I don’t like you worrying about that stuff, baby. Is that what you were trying to do in the bathroom earlier?” Everyone knew it, Joyce just wanted a confession. Out came the silence of Emily’s embarrassment. So yes, she was answering ‘yes’ to that question. “Sweetie,” Joyce came over, grabbing her shoulders. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, okay?” “C-...can I at least do it in the–” “--No,” Joyce jumped in yet again. “It’s perfectly fine, Emily,” she soothed with a hand through her hair. “I’m not gonna watch and I’m not gonna make a big deal out of it because it’s nothing special. This is normal, okay?” No different from when she wet her diaper. Maybe it was a little cruel to admit, but Joyce was sort of waiting to force another moment like this… Being the one responsible for changing her diapers, of course it didn’t go unnoticed that they had a grand total of about one, maybe two number two’s they’ve had to deal with in a fast-growing portfolio of many changes. From a purely professional standpoint, it was a detriment to her diaper training and all the work they’d put into her bringing pip to the potty… So to capitalize and exploit those efforts, Joyce forced her down into a squat, crouching with her the whole way as gravity itself pushed the flustered girl to the floor. “You just do what you need to do and we’ll change you right after, okay?” Joyce rubbed her head before standing back up. “Do you want your paci?” Maybe a little…wait–! “N-no…” and while she said it, what had to be done still wasn’t feeling quite real. It was more a situation of respecting Emily’s outward wishes than reaching deeper for what she knew her little girl was feeling on the inside. Sometimes, and only in extremely controlled amounts of moderation, it was deemed necessary to leave Emmy to her devices. Even little girls sometimes need to be a little stubborn… “Okay,” Joyce smiled like nothing was amiss and no diaper was about to be filled. “Once you’re done you can have changies,” and with not another word spoken, she pivoted over to the counter and started preparing lunch. Emily quietly watched, still in her squatting position, trying to catch even a glimpse of Joyce watching her. She was, but she wasn’t. In her peripherals? Probably. But staring directly at her? None whatsoever. She was busy doing her motherly duties, minding her own business as much as she needed to. Emily was a background decoration, one about to make quite the disruption that was “normal.” It was expected of her. Things got easier with time, but this hardly felt like one of those things that really got broken in. There simply wasn’t getting any used to this sort of thing…! And maybe it was Joyce’s primal parts, but her ear may have twitched once she heard the gentle grunt. She dared not to look, though. Not after her little speech. Problems only got as big as they did or were even considered one purely based on perception. Problems were a construct born from inconvenience. But who decided what was and wasn’t an inconvenience? Messing a diaper surely wasn’t one of those things, and Joyce would be sure to hammer that point home quite hard. It was normal. The day-to-day. Dirty diapers came and went just like the wet ones; just like the tantrums, the timeouts, the misbehavior, the cuddles, the coos, and so much more. Embarrassment was a trained emotion, and just like her bathroom habits, all her little girl needed was an extensive course in undoing all those yucky things that kept her chained down. So while Joyce didn’t watch, she certainly listened as her little treasure grunted like the booming drums of liberation. The boom-booms that’d be liberated from her… Good thing she was fully turned away to grin at herself for thinking of that one. And Emily teared up as her hands found the floor, pushing uncomfortably as Pip sat on her hands. It felt just as hard the first time, but maybe because it's been so long since then. Christ, did it actually get easier if she kept doing this? W-wait, why would she even want to do it? She didn’t, but it was a two-way crash both parties were speeding to each other. If Emily didn’t make the decision to do it herself, Joyce certainly would like she had just now. It was ironic, thinking that Emily was allowed to do her bathroom business now anywhere but the bathroom. As Joyce liked to ever so eloquently put it, “You always have your bathroom!” and she’d chuckle like it was the cutest thing for Emily to ever disillusion herself into thinking otherwise. Maybe it was a little condescending, but it was a complement for the genuine and tender affection she did always get. Making a mess like this was certainly one of the biggest lows of being a baby, but if this was as bad as it got…? In exchange for all the cuddles, the gifts, the affection and love…?After all, if it was something bad or un-fun, Joyce did always seem to be the one cleaning it up… Just like the last time, her muscles finally gave and the stress and tension slipped the moment her bowels did. It was another all to once performance that left her panting, tired and weary. The same self-disgust, the same fear from sitting on her bottom. Anything but that. And the smell…! But no words needed to be said when Joyce already had her on her feet, humming and shushing her all the way to the nursery. After a tender rub on the far shoulder Emily earned her slow, waddling self a kiss on the cheek. “So proud of you…!” That made one of them. “Okay…I’m gonna be a bit longer, but I’ll be out regularly to check on you, okay?” Joyce hung a hand on the doorway to her office, unfortunately having to return at the fast approaching end of her break. “If you need anything, just come in and ask.” Imagine that; asking to be excused from a meeting because her daughter needed some juice or a diaper change? Agh…! If only Emily were selfish enough! “Okay…uhm…I’m all set, I think…” Emily thought to herself, now of a much more stable mind, what with a dry diaper on her hips. She’d been prepped for the long haul. Her tummy was content with peanut butter, jelly, juice, bread and bananas, and she was armed to the teeth with her mochi friend and a sippy cup full of juice. The warfront was harsh, but she was built to survive. “Good,” Joyce nodded, rubbing her head. “Don’t forget you have all those toys in your nursery, by the way? Go play with those if you get bored.” After all, being a baby for the day and having Joyce home meant her weekday chore privileges had been revoked. What little girl would be trusted with the vacuum cleaner? “I know…” Emily nodded simply, squeezing Pip. It was sort of a bad look to be caught with other stuffed animals… In the time she had gotten to know her friend, Pip was sort of like Joyce; he didn’t like Emily cheating on him with other stuffed friends. How did she know? Intuition, or feeling. Probably. Joyce got him for her, after all, so clearly he must take after her girlfriend? At least Mr. Bear was an exception. “Oh, but that reminds me!” she said as she glanced at her phone. “You’re getting one of your big girl privileges today.” Come again? Emily blinked, clearly taken aback by the B-G word, especially in the same sentence as anything to imply it was being reinstated…! No more parental lock on the computer? Being allowed to climb on chairs to reach the high cabinets? Ice cream?! “Use your phone to give Amy a call about that offer, okay?” Instant disappointment. Her expectations weren’t very high, considering she wasn’t allowed to climb things, still, but somehow Joyce managed to go even lower than that. “Blegh,” Joyce mimicked the expression on Emily’s face, “Yup, I know, Mommy’s a meanie, but you need to call her. Just a little chat, okay?” “But…what if…?” Emily tried to excuse herself, then shrugged her shoulders, like that all somehow made up a justified reason. “I dunno…?” “Mm,” Joyce pressed her lips, as if to digest the nonexistent thought. “Emily, you can call her now, or we’ll do it together once I’m done with work.” Was that an ultimatum? Aside from her tone, that didn’t sound so bad, actually? “And if I have to do it…” Wait, maybe not. “I’m going to start by apologizing for how long it took to call her,” she warned. “I’ll let her know that you were too busy napping in your crib, playing in the bathroom and eating your lunch to call?” “Don’t!” Emily commanded in the best big girl voice she could muster, but her diaper crinkled at just the wrong time. “And I won’t,” Joyce booped her on the nose, “If I hear that you did it yourself?” And just in case if Emily’s feelings were convincing her to misbehave and possibly “pretend” that she did what she most certainly did not, there was always texting Amy herself to confirm. “You’re my good girl, Emily,” she kissed her one final time on the forehead, “so go and show me how good you can be.” With a lackluster response from Emily, Joyce left it at that as she disappeared into her office. And now with a sucky feeling that didn’t involve a pacifier, Emily sulked back into the living room. She found her phone on the stupid coffee table in front of the stupid couch, watching the stupid TV play some stupid show. Why was she even anxious, or dragging her feet? What was stopping her? Was it the lack of officiality? Was it because Amy knew what they were like now, or that diapers were a permanent association for her now? So many layers and so many possible reasons; so many things that Emily was just assuming. She didn’t know what Amy thought and she didn’t know what this offer even was… But the worst of it? Sitting on the couch, just in a diaper and T-shirt, told to go play pretend by Mommy and make a big and important business call. She sighed, sinking her chin into her hands. Playing make believe was hardly a pastime in itself, and she was being told to get in the mood for it? Stupid. So stupid. She rose from the couch, fingering the screen on her phone as she scanned the contacts. Sure enough, at the top there she was. Amy. Though it wasn’t Emily who put her there. She sighed again. What’s the point in having a stupid password on your phone if your girlfriend knows it? Joyce got to know all the passwords… Emily didn’t. After a swig of her afternoon juice, a small thought occurred to Emily; some way to at least make the pain go down a bit easier. Ceremoniously dropping her phone on the couch, she half-vaulted over the back of the couch and padded her feet down the hall for the nursery. “You’re…!” she grunted, grabbing, tugging and dragging, “Coming with...me!” She would never be so rude as to call anyone fat…but…some could certainly be fluffy… For example, if your hips were wide enough to stop you from getting through a doorway, at least for her furry friend, it was probably a cause for concern. Once she made the swap from carpet to hardwood floor, things were a bit easier. Joyce was busy doing adult stuff, so that meant Emily had free reign (not really) of the house. She situated her newest staff member right by the corner where her view of the TV was unobstructed and next to the terrace doors. She crinkled over to the couch, retrieving all her office supplies (sippy cup and phone) and made a daring trust fall into the corner, being caught by her very own personal secretary. One that probably wouldn’t go gabbing to others about her diapers… Now she was starting to understand the appeal of being her own boss. No wonder Joyce liked this stuff. Big office? Pampered by a secretary? Heck, Joyce probably didn’t even do anything important! She probably just signed her name in places and told other people to do other stuff. If she didn’t know any better, Joyce probably had her own giant stuffed bear in her office…! Though, she probably didn’t sit in Sheila’s lap, which occurred to Emily as she sat in her bear’s. “Mmm… Mr. Bear?” she asked aloud, squeezing his soft, plump and stubby leg. “Hold my calls. I have an errand to run!” she leapt from her secretary’s cushy body and scampered off back down the hall. And right as she was about to get into the bedroom, a voice called from the nearby office, “Emily? Are we behaving?” “Yes…!” she droned back. Her hands hung on the doorframe, waiting for an answer, but nothing came. Good enough. Goodness, who’s idea was it to let a competing company stay in the same building? A very fair point that a fanatical Emily wondered as she rummaged through the closet, smuggling assets from her enemy. Joyce told her to make a big girl call about work, so obviously that meant dressing the part, didn’t it? Well, unfortunately due to recent wardrobe changes, Emily’s other set of attire didn’t exactly accommodate her newly instated bathroom needs, hence why she simply needed bigger clothes. It was always easy to run away with the fun and carefree thoughts the moment they piqued in her mind. Don’t think too hard and just go with the flow. That’s what Joyce always told her to do, right? So, it only felt right as she went back and forth from closet to dresser, grabbing what suited her fine business tastes, especially when it came to ogling Joyce’s underwear. It was really impressive, actually! “Whoa…” Emily giggled, pulling the loose panties up over her diaper. Not even the slight bulk on her front or behind could make up the difference in the width of Joyce’s hips. Her body was too good, it simply wasn’t fair. Thankfully there was the compromise though of Emily tucking the underwear partially into her diaper, just to get it to stay. What came next? Oversized pantyhose, of course. She had to roll them up a little bit and continue using her diaper like a pocket, but it worked and that’s what mattered. Next she ditched her boring shirt and went for the bright and white work blouse that’d really make her look good! Though…while it did run well down over her diaper, she really did look great from the waist up! As…long as she slightly rolled up the sleeves and held the cuffs. Joyce was pretty by default, but obviously she put work into looking good on top of that? It only made sense that Emily had to put in the same effort, too. And the perfect concealer for her slight chaos hiding underneath her shirt now was a wonderful black business skirt Emily found. The delight when it didn’t have much trouble going over her diaper was immense, though all her clothes were starting to move around a bit with all this shifting… After tucking it all back into place, the last thing she needed came from a less professional end, but it certainly could work? A wide black leather belt with some minimalistic double metal circle on it came out, and Emily made full use of it, tying all her loose clothing together. And also, need it be mentioned how comfy all her clothes were? Joyce really did never disappoint when it came to buying the nice stuff! While it was all good and fun getting ready for work, she certainly wasn’t enough of a savage to walk around barefoot. After peeking inside a few different shoe boxes with brand names she’d never heard of, Emily pulled out a pair of tall black heels. Good enough. Black was black and that meant work appropriate. With her ensemble complete and perfected, Emily stumbled and nearly tripped multiple times with pride back into the hallway, taking carefully coordinated and noisy steps all the way. “Apologies, Mr. Bear,” Emily said as she fell forward since her feet were too small in her big heels to fall back, “I needed a change of clothes,” she enunciated in an exaggerated posh form of tone. Somehow though her charade had become inspiring, enough to convince herself to finally pull the trigger and make the call on her company issued phone. Holding it up to her ear, thankfully there was enough time to sneak a swig of juice before the other end picked up. “Hello?” Yep, sounded like Amy. “Amy?” Emily asked, putting on her best big girl voice (or just being herself, really). “Sorry, is this a bad time?” “No! Now’s perfect, actually! Joyce said you were gonna be calling today, actually.” “Yeah…” Imagining scheduling an appointment when it was Mr. Bear’s job to do that… Apparently no one had job security these days. “Sorry about the delay… It’s just been sort of…busy.” A fair excuse that could only work if she actually came off as such. Spending her days doing either a brief set of chores or wearing diapers didn’t really fit as busy. The regret for saying that was hitting as fast as the smell of a messy diaper. The back of her head sunk deeper into her stuffed secretary. “Trust me, I totally get it,” Amy assured, or at least pretended like she believed her. “Joyce didn’t pressure you or anything to call me, did she?” A slight laugh came from the other end of the line, “she did, didn’t she?” “Uhm…” and just for insurance’s sake, Emily dangling her girlfriend’s heel from her outstretched foot finally let it drop to the floor. “No?” Another laugh from Amy, but she said, “Okay, well good. I don’t want you to feel like you have to do any of this! So, it’s a couple things I could actually use a hand with. Oh, and there’s no need for experience with sewing or anything like that! I have a client that’s looking to get a few outfits done, but they’re mainly out of state, so all I have are her sizes on paper. Usually I don’t take on work like this if they aren’t available, but since she’s longstanding, I took her up on it. So here’s where you come in: having a model would help me a little bit? She’s a little bit bigger than you, but you’d make a great stand-in reference and all I’d need to do is upscale from there.” “So you want me to be like your mannequin?” “When you put it like that you make it sound like I just want your body…” Amy groaned back playfully, “Well, guess I do, actually. It’s not a deal-breaker for whether I can get it done for her or not, but having a live reference could speed things up. And of course, I’ll pay you! I’m only asking because I had to check your numbers for a different project and happened to notice the sizes were sorta close.” “A different project?” A project for her? “A-anyway!” Amy rushed her voice and implied a certain matter wasn’t to be explored, “I can keep you busy with helping organize some fabrics, too. Buttons, zippers, and stuff, but to be honest I don’t think I can fit out a whole work week for you… I’m balancing a couple different commissions right now, so it’d be a sort of on and off thing. When I’m ready and you’re ready, you know?” Far from fully employed and official work. It sounded like she would be paid under the table, too. It wasn’t an actual job, but it was gonna give her something… “That works…but, I guess I don’t really have any experience with that sort of stuff…” “That’s fine, don’t worry about it! It’s just standing in front of the mirror, really. It’s super relaxed, promise. We can chat, have lunch, all that fun stuff. You can play with Ashes too, if you want?” Bribing her with a pet? This was sounding more like a favor than a regular job… “I mean…yeah, I guess I can do that then,” Emily agreed, albeit meekly. “I guess we just need to coordinate when I come?” “And we’ll do that well in advance, promise. No day-of kinda stuff. Promise! Ugh, you’re a lifesaver! I don’t really doubt my skills, but if I don’t get an actual body to play with, it kinda throws me off a little, you know?” No, actually. Not at all. “Yeah…” “Awesome! Give me a couple days and we’ll set something up, okay? I’ll keep it at a reasonable time, and just let me know if we need to reschedule. Thanks so much, Em, and if ya have any questions, just shoot me a text or give me a call, okay?” “Mm. Okay, will do.” “Take care! Ciao!” And like that the bandage had been ripped and Emily was employed. Sort of. Not really. Not at all? Kind of employed. But she sighed nonetheless when she could drop the phone. Good thing she was wearing all that big girl armor. The baseless worry of making that call had been eating away at her for some stupid reason, but it was done now. Reality sunk far lower than her excited expectations, which in this case was a good thing. Could she count that as an “interview,” even? Was this going to be something that she could put on a resume? Seamstress Assistant - Stood in front of mirror and looked pretty Skills - Patience Something like that. But since the office was busy being used right now, Emily didn’t have to entertain the thought of doing any computer work. Instead she rolled onto her side against Mr. Bear, suckling down a stream of juice, watching the sky and city beyond the heavy wood and glass doors past the terrace. It was such a small thing to have done in retrospect, but now with her one big thing she’d been trying to avoid out of the way, all that was left was to enjoy the rest of her day. A weight was off her shoulders and she had nothing else to worry about. Everything was quiet again and her cheek rested against her giant stuffed bear, listening to the faint typing from down the hall in Joyce’s office. A calm, quiet lull filled the home and before Emily knew it her eyes were getting heavy. Naps were dumb, stupid and the worst thing ever imagined by anyone. The kinds that were enforced, at least. Emily was much more of a “natural” napper, which was something Joyce unfortunately could never seem to understand. She slept when she wanted to, not when she was told. Joyce was much more of a schedule-based sort of folk. If only Emily got to waddle to the beat of her own drum. Without an oppressive system to keep her down, or crib bars to keep her confined, it was much easier to follow the whims of her sleepy self as she laid there with half a sippy cup spout in her mouth. Constantly reminding herself to suck, her eyelids kept on drooping until they finally stopped rising, closing completely for a good stretch of uninterrupted time. Meanwhile, sometime later, Joyce was wandering out of her office. “Emily?” she called, “I wanna check your diaper?” The first place she went was their bedroom where the light was still on and she noticed her closet door half ajar… And her dresser drawers open…with undergarments, pants and such hanging out and askew. Going just a step further, Joyce stepped inside her closet, first making note of the small pile of hangers laying on the floor; a couple shirts and skirts included. Wait, were her shoe boxes moved too? Either they had been robbed or some form of mischief was afoot. Hardly believing in the former, Joyce sighed as she tried to figure out what the angle of the mess in their room was while she tidied it up. “What did that little munchkin do…?” she muttered, flicking off the last light as she came into the hall. “Emily? Did you–” she started to say, then she saw her sleeping. Sleeping in Joyce’s clothes, wearing them like oversized bags snuggled with her feet together with small dollops of pantyhose fabric hanging off her toes. She noticed the large stuffed bear that lived in the nursery had decided to move, and she then went on to recognize her four-figure belt imported from Italy with half its leather material hanging out and sitting so loosely on her little girl’s frame from riding up to her waist. The clasp didn’t even look to be sitting right…! Her poor heels from last year’s trip to France were lazily sitting on their sides on the floor, far from any feet, much less ones that could actually fit them. Joyce’s business skirt was half on Emily’s hips, half beneath the panties she recognized as her own, which also fell beneath the plastic siding of her diaper… And the cherry on top? Joyce quietly came closer, carefully removing the sippy cup that had fallen from the sleepy girl’s hand and onto her bear. Not that it mattered much, but she pinched the loose collar around Emily’s neck, fingering the wet apple juice stain now on one of her best shirts. And Joyce sighed, right before her phone buzzed in her pocket. Slipping it out she read a message to herself. AMY: Just heard from Emily! All set. I’ll b in touch with her! She put the phone away, giving her little girl a dumb smile. “So we’re playing dress-up now, are we?” she whispered with a grin. Apparently a toddler that went unchecked would become a tyrant. Clothes had been wrinkled, a shirt had been ruined, but as the saying went, t’was the cost of doing business. The cost of caring for someone you love. “Though…” Joyce kept to a whisper, so as not to awaken the tot she was playfully chewing out, “The nerve you’ve got to play with Mommy’s expensive clothes…” At least in her state of disarray, play and slumber, a cute bum showing itself made it easy to check a diaper. “Dry…” she muttered while she angled her phone, recording such a sweet memory. Standing back up, one quick trip to the nursery and back around the couch and she was holding two trinkets worth adding to the scene. With her mouth still partly open from enjoying her juice, Joyce swabbed a tiny bit of drool collecting on her bear and clogged the leaky pipe with a silicone bulb and plastic shield. Carefully lifting Emily’s arm, she slipped Pip underneath and set it back down. And lastly, Joyce draped a nearby blanket over her sleeping beauty, far more satisfied with a few more pictures to go with it. “I’ll be taking these back, though…” Joyce glared for just a second, trying not to laugh as she hooked her discarded heels by the fingers and walked them back to the bedroom. “One broken pair is enough, I’d say…” With her brief duties being finished, Joyce slipped back into her office, feeling awfully good now with finishing the final stretch of her day. After all, how could Joyce not be leading the pack if she’d just seen her littlest employee so hard at work…! “I don’t wanna wear this one…!” Emily moaned as the zipper traveled up her back. “But you were so excited trying on different clothes earlier?” Joyce teased from behind, snapping a flap of fabric over the zipper, hiding it completely. “Where did you even get an idea like that?” she laughed so pleasantly, “What made you wanna play dress-up?” “I was dressing for work,” Emily stressed for the umpteenth time. “You wouldn’t get it.” Really, she wouldn’t! Joyce didn’t have to keep swapping from panties to diapers! “No, I probably wouldn’t,” Joyce giggled. “Not that I need to. I like it when you do cute stuff like that.” Though it’s a little less cute when costly damages are incurred… No need to mention that part, though. “I was a little sad though when my busy little office girl was dry, though.” “Sorry,” Emily smugly shrugged, “it’s a skill I’m working on.” “Yeah? You and what references?” Joyce squeezed her waist, watching them both in the mirror. “Cuz if anyone calls me, they’re definitely gonna know that you can’t be trusted out of your diapers.” “Yes I can!” Emily shot her a rude look. “Sorry, sweetie, but I can only speak from experience? Though, I think Amy already knows, so you should be in the clear for that,” she couldn’t hide her teasing smile. “So I take it you called her?” “Yes… She wants me to be a model, sort of.” “A model?” Joyce raised her brows. “That could be kinda fun?” “Uh-huh,” she nodded, tugging a little at the collar on her sleeper. It was on there real good. Not uncomfortable, but it sure didn’t stretch. She couldn’t even find the zipper on her back… “She asked because her client is a little bit bigger than me, I guess, but she’s out of state. Amy sort of said it was gonna be an irregular thing, though.” “Well that’s okay; we’ll get you there when you need to be. Don’t worry about wondering if anyone’ll be available. I’ll make it work.” “Thanks…” with all the effort that went into getting Emily around, sometimes she wondered if anything that she did make was enough to offset the expenses Joyce dropped on her. At this point, was she dropping a profit in financials or just emotion and entertainment? “So work was good?” “Yes, it very much was,” Joyce concluded with a kiss. “You made my day getting to see you each time I stepped out of my office!” There were definitely going to be more work-from-home days in the future… “G-good…” Emily exhaled through her nose, feeling the warmth spread through her diaper. No comments were made, but she got another affectionate rub. “Yes, very good. But what isn’t so much is that I have to make a call too.” Joyce’s happy face started to droop. “Oh! Is it with that kinky person? I…Isabelle?” “Yes, Isabelle.” The one and only who had shell-shocked her so greatly. “Mm. Well, don’t have too much fun with her.” And just like that Emily won a light swat on her padded rump. “Hey!” “Silly comments get silly prizes,” Joyce spoke with finality. “Can we snuggle while you call her?” “We will do that very thing after I talk to her. Tell you this: how about I get you a nice bottle of milk,” no sippy cups, not after that little spill… “and you get comfy on the couch while I go make a grownup call in my office? Then we could watch a movie…?” Her eyes lit up like the sun. “A scary one?!” “No,” oh, buzz killed. Joyce gave her a helpless look, “Not a scary one.” “But I’m wearing one…!” “And what made you think that makes it a done deal?” Joyce’s eyes did circles on themselves. “Weekdays are definitely not scary movie nights.” What if Emily had a nightmare and she was already gone for work? “We will be watching something age appropriate, got it?” “Fine…” “No grumpy attitudes, either,” Joyce pinched her lips, making her cute girl look like a cute duckling. “Now can I get an ‘I love you?’” “I love you, Mommy,” Emily put on her best ‘totally not grumping’ voice. Joyce wow’ed with pride. “Ou, and I didn’t even need to ask for the last part!” Ignoring the tone, she kissed Emily again. “Go get cozy on the couch for me.” They made way for the living room and after dropping Emily off Joyce took a detour to the kitchen. “Don’t fall asleep on me~!” she warned as she left Emily with her bottle. “I won’t! I slept like twice already!” And since when did that stop you from doing it a third? Joyce held her breath just long enough to shut her door, too overjoyed to feel anything but. Only for a second though, as the dread ate away at all of it the moment she looked down at her phone. Now the not so fun part… First Sheila, and now this? Hell, her business with Sheila wasn’t even done yet. Why couldn’t she just get the easy call with Amy like Emily did? With one can of worms already open and spewing, with great reluctance she started to dial what was scribbled on a sticky note. And maybe in some form of retrospect that was too far in the future to consider, if only this second discussion was going to be just another can of worms. Much more aptly, it would be reminisced on as Pandora’s Box.

Gosh, you know me so well! In truth, I've been writing I think the most regularly I ever have been since I started posting stories in general, lol. Truthfully I've just been bogged down by a lot to have the time and post chapters here. But yes, going in bursts is regrettably my style... Mhm! The gap between what's public and behind a timed release is getting bigger and bigger, but stuff does eventually trickle down at a somewhat regular schedule (just not at the moment because I'm taking a break this December). Chapter updates publicly are meant to be about once a month.

James has indicated that he's aware at least a little of what goes on, but mostly how their own dimension compares to it. I'm sure that the DD has its own share of troubles and bad history (for instance, the given situation with how they treat Littles), but I think you're definitely right in guessing just how incomprehensible that'd be for Katherine. If I had to guess, Dawn could practically throw a history book in her face and she'd still spin it as some strange kind of inappropriate fiction. She is aware that where Portal Littles come from a place without Amazons, and that's likely the extent of her knowledge, and serves as a basis for the "dangers" that she assumes Dawn comes from. Another way I'd think about it is like culture shock times twenty. A world and place so different that it's one step even further beyond horrific and confusing fiction (in the eyes of Amazons). Thank you for reading and commenting! I can't quite imagine that fear is the best long-term motivator... Right, I don't think Dawn is quite so indifferent to James, anymore and he just helped her pick a side of the fence. Bookshelf! Girl's gotta read! In all seriousness, it's one of those weird moments that shows James and Katherine are listening to Dawn, but based on their values and beliefs they're only able to show that in so many ways. I'm sure that they hear her out when she pleads that she's an adult, capable of doing X-Y-Z and so on, but it's likely far from something that they take at face value. Kinda sorta. In fairness of her Amazonian guardians, I don't think that they want her having baby brain either! Dawn probably could use some chilling out, but I don't really know if she will. If nothing else, a spanking just forces a lid on her problems-- not really solve them. Play her cards wrong (as per usual) and round two of spanks is definitely possible! Thank you for reading! Dawn? Going down easy in a crib? This is an awful lot of wishful thinking! Haha, in all seriousness, I think Dawn really could use a good night's rest after everything she's been through, and likely will continue to go through. Maybe James is clued in on Dawn's unease, but at the same time he may not be fully aware of it yet? Either way, I don't think it'll be ignored forever. Thank you for commenting! Thanks for the reading! Hmm...we may be witnessing a clash of parental styles...! Katherine's definitely got the softer heart, given we know that she wanted this sort of thing the most. James at least so far definitely seems more in it for his wife's sake than his own or Dawn's, which can create a conflict of interest at points... Either way, I'm looking forward to letting this dynamic develop, and I hope you all continue to enjoy! Thank you for reading and commenting!

Thanks so much! No more secrets allowed! After all, they promised each other. (Unless Joyce decides otherwise, though...) Can't say specifics on what's to come, but I'm sure you'll find that the net is on the up and up! Thank you for reading and commenting! Hmm, good question! However, don't always expect it to be just two possibilities! Yes indeed toon in next time! Thank you very much! Sheila's sort of a wait and see, but no matter what people think of her, I still believe that she has very human and likable qualities! Thanks for commenting and reading!

42 - Bathtime Blues Hear the knob! Ready for the pounce! Plant your feet and–! “Welcome hom–!” Emily shouted with a cheer as she started to soar, yet the train barreling through the doorway had caught her completely and expectedly. She couldn’t finish her signature line because her face was currently being smothered into her girlfriend’s shoulder. “Awwwhhh! My sweet baby girl!” Joyce cooed and rocked, shaking her all over as her hips turned one way then the other. “I missed you so much! So-so-so much!” A refreshing gasp of air entered Emily’s lungs once her face was released. “Home!” she finished her line, “At least let me finish!” With Joyce’s burst of emotional Amazonian strength, she supported Emily in her arms long enough to knock the door shut with her backside before putting her back on her feet. Standing from the slate entrance she gave Emily another tight hug, propped up on the wooden floor. “Didja miss me?” Emily giggled. “Did I miss you?” Joyce scoffed with a gasp right before another smothering affection. With some distance between their lips she doubled down again. “Yes, I missed you!” And yet all her excitement and love was just a front. “I…I’m sorry I took so long to get back to you last night…” “And I said last night that it was fine…” Emily leaned out on her ledge to pat Joyce’s head with a grin. “But you didn’t tell me much…” She made a sly face. “So? What happened? Anything fun? Crazy?” Joyce pulled her suitcase up and into the home. “It was…interesting.” “Ouuuu~!” Emily ‘ahhed’ all the way to the bedroom, poking Joyce’s jacket all the way. “Crazy kind of interesting? What’d you see? Did Carol do anything? What was the place like?” “It was…normal. Carol was fine, though we sort of split up for most of it…” Normal? Something like that? The enthusiasm had been killed some. “Oh, was it? Uhm…so what was it like?” “Lots of people at a restaurant sort of place… Name tags. Conversations…boring stuff.” A sideways glance had been earned. Her sales pitch clearly wasn’t very dazzling. Emily hopped on the edge of the bed, swinging her legs by the unzipped luggage. “Y’know, when you weren’t telling me much last night, I figured you were saving it for once you got home...” “I would tell you if something meaningful happened,” Joyce chuckled, dismissively. “It was actually just like one of my normal business dinners…” So it’s a very good thing Emily didn’t go… “...Okay.” With a shirt hanging from her hands, Joyce looked at her expectantly, hiding her own guilt. “You don’t believe me?” “No…?” Emily tilted her head. “Just gotta feeling.” “A feeling?” “Uh-huh,” Emily nodded. Maybe she was starting to read minds like Joyce, too? “You can tell me, you know?” “Tell you about what?” Tell her about Isabelle… “Something happened,” Emily pointed her finger accusingly, “I know it.” “...Nothing happened. More importantly, what time did you get to bed last night? I called you pretty late, you know?” “No!” a whine escaped the excited girl, “You can’t do that! Answer my question first!” “And are you dodging mine?” Joyce flipped the script. “Times. I want them.” “A little before midnight– there! Now answer my–!” But Joyce’s eyebrows were already ascending at an incredible speed. As high as could be before Emily had a snowball’s chance in hell of finishing her pseudo-big girl defense. “A little before midnight? This is why I don’t leave you home alone…” Joyce sighed with a face held in her hand. “After how hard I’ve worked to get you on a sleep schedule…” “I was on one before and it was one time!” It wasn’t even a school night! “And one is enough to make you excited into trying for two,” Joyce tutted, putting away the last of her clothes. “Early bedtime tonight. Both of us.” “Then you do it by yourself!” Emily deflected, clearly not likened to the idea of going down with the ship. “What? It’s my first night back and you don’t want to snuggle together?” “Urgh!” Emily grit her teeth, doing her best to shoulder the blow to her heart. Damn! No cuddles without Joyce…? “I’ll…snuggle, but I’m staying up after.” And just for good measure, “but I’ll go to sleep at our normal time…” “Once I fall asleep you’ll be free to go,” Joyce smiled amicably. Sure. Go stay up late if you think you can wiggle out of my arms tonight…! With the crooked deal having been made, their walk and talk continued over to the closet. “Oh, that’s right; Sheila stopped by last night, didn’t she?” It was a very brief conversation last night over the phone. There was difficulty in trying to talk to Emily just to hear her voice without spilling her own situation over. And with a surge of vividly embarrassing and truthfully joyful memories, Emily nodded simply, “Yeah, she did.” Apparently Sheila must’ve contacted Joyce at some point. Good to know it was planned, at least the file part. Dinner though…? “Uh-huh,” Joyce wheeled the empty case back in its place, “I’m sorry I didn’t know any sooner to tell you. She’s usually in and out, but I should’ve told you to expect someone… I take it that she was quick, right?” “...Yeah.” Emily may have been lucky earlier having a ‘feeling,’ but Joyce with her feelings stacked on top of keen intuition struck much more confidently. “What happened?” “What?” Emily stammered, avoiding eye contact as she strolled back over to the bed. “Nothing happened…!” This was certainly weird. Emily was hiding something about Sheila visiting? That didn’t sit right with the mommy in charge at all. Not one bit. “No, spill it. I know something happened.” And don’t make me check the security cameras… “We just talked a little, is all…” “Talked?” Was talking about anything worth keeping a secret over? “Emily, what happened?” Sheila, of all people? What did she do? “It’s not even that big of a deal…” “Which is why you’re gonna tell me?” Ouch. Hands on the hips. It wasn’t looking good for Emily. “It was just about stuff…” “Stuff?” Stuff? “What kind of stuff?” “...Secret.” “No,” Joyce shook her head, “nuh-uh, no secrets.” No secrets from the two people either emotionally or contractually obligated to tell her nothing but the truth. Sheila told the truth if she wanted to keep her job. Emily told the truth if she wanted ice cream or a diaper change. But more importantly, why did anything happen with Sheila at all? Wasn’t she just a go and get it done type? Since when did that change? “Nope,” Emily shook her head right back, wrists and back on their bed, “not gonna tell.” After all, she swore to secrecy with Sheila… “Emily…” that expectant motherly tone was starting to flare. Then the smaller girl made a daring taunt. “What’re you gonna do, not cuddle with me?” Joyce’s muscles stiffened. Crud. It would appear that a deadlock had been reached. “...Why can’t you tell me what happened?” Joyce tried to negotiate; something she certainly did not like being made to do. “Because I promised not to…” Promised not to tell Joyce anything that Sheila said about her. Then some dots started to connect for Emily and the verbiage her girlfriend had been using was reviewed. “Oh, wait! I can tell you what happened, but not what we talked about?” A great sigh and roll of her eyes dropped Joyce right on the bed next to her. “Well start from there, silly.” Goodness, to think this was about to escalate to tickle torture all over just a simple misunderstanding! “She stayed for dinner,” Emily said quite simply and openly, despite how awkward it actually was at first. “Dinner?” Joyce cocked an eyebrow. “Sheila did?” “Yeah,” Emily nodded. “Though…she kinda invited herself to stay…” At one point it had crossed her mind that maybe it was all something that Joyce had put her secretary up to, but the look on her girlfriend’s face was telling a different story. “Was she not supposed to?” “No…not really. She sent me a message about having to get a file from my computer last night, but that was it. So, she stayed for dinner? Sheila did?” The same Sheila that wouldn’t even accept a drink from her boss? Now Emily was propping herself back up. “Wait, so her staying over wasn’t your idea?” Joyce shook her head pensively. “No, it wasn’t. That’s…really not like her. When did she leave?” “After she made us dinner…?” “Sheila made dinner? For you both?” Were they talking about the same person? Sheila had access to their home, yes, but that was strictly for work reasons. What reason was there in staying to have dinner? None of this was sitting well at all. Uh-oh. Sheila was maybe in trouble… Emily kept most of her thoughts to herself, although she did ask, “Should…should I have said no? I was trying to call you about her being there that whole time…” “It’s just a little weird is all, I guess. I’ll be talking to her about it tomorrow at work, though. Did…anything weird happen?” Anything weird other than being made dinner? Anything weird other than accidentally being caught wearing her footie pajamas from the nursery that she wasn’t supposed to? Lord, she hoped Joyce didn’t check those cameras… “No…we just talked, I guess. It was actually kinda fun…” Fun? With Sheila? Not that Sheila wasn’t fun or interesting, probably, but Joyce couldn’t speak to any of that. Sheila was a shadow that took notes and made the world bend to her boss’ whims. Not the sociable and friendly face that cooked dinner for people? “And what’d you two talk about?” Emily’s mouth clamped shut. Joyce rolled her eyes. “It was about me, wasn’t it?” “--No!” Emily blurted out, though she couldn’t have sounded less convincing if she tried. Baiting Emily was so easy that it almost made Joyce feel bad. “Uh-huh?” Joyce nodded with a grin, one that didn’t believe for a single second that it wasn’t about her. “Let me guess: bad stuff?” While there was the option to stay in denial, Emily hardly had the fortitude to commit to something like that, especially against Joyce. Maybe it was a mind over matter situation, but trying to beat Joyce in a battle of wits simply seemed impossible. The thought of triumph alone was too exhausting to imagine. “No, good stuff! Joyce stuff… The stuff you won’t tell me about work!” “The stuff I don’t talk about because I want to keep that stuff separate, Emily.” Gosh, did Sheila actually talk about her at work? What if she mentioned something about how she can blow up at others? Appear as scary or intimidate others? Emily had no business knowing that. She was supposed to see Joyce as a mother and a lover, not a tyrant! The thought of affecting that persona was legitimately vexing. Did her secretary really just go and ruin all of that? “Well I thought it was really cool stuff…” Emily put on an exaggerated sulk. “I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one you get upset with…” Joyce spun her head and Emily raised her giggling hands defensively. “Relax! If anything, it really just sounds like you’re the same way at work as you are here?” Joyce was reluctant to leave it at that, but hopeful that’s where Emily’s conclusions actually stuck. “...Maybe a little,” she sighed, “but I don’t tell you that stuff for a reason, Emily. I don’t want to be a businesswoman to you. I want to be your girlfriend…” When things had first started Joyce’s wealth alone was already a straining force on their relationship. Now that they were finally somewhere to get beyond that, the thought of trying to add any more turmoil to the mix just felt wrong. “And you still are, Joyce…” Emily draped her arms up and over Joyce’s shoulders. “I like hearing about your work? I guess I got excited because Sheila told me something that you wouldn’t… Don’t get angry at her.” Joyce was certainly feeling something for her trusted confidant. “Okay. We’ll leave it at that. Thank you for being honest with me,” even if it had taken a little tooth pulling. “So, more importantly, what did you two have for dinner?” “Oh…uhm, pasta and a salad?” “As good as my cooking, though?” And suddenly whether it was friend or foe, secretary or stranger, treatment for Emily was always an ongoing competition. “No, not as good,” Emily assured, though more so to stroke her partner’s ego. And come to think of it, Joyce definitely won by a landslide. After all, Sheila had made the rookie mistake of using beets of all things. Good thing Emily was skilled in making it look like she was eating them. A thought crossed the girl’s mind to request that the vegetable be blacklisted right then, but knowing Joyce… Well, as of late, telling Joyce the things that she did not like always seemed to somehow make them that much more common in her life. Yucky vegetables would not be discussed on this day. Redacted. And as great of a sight as Joyce was to look at, Emily happened to look back down at her suitcase and notice the shopping bag inside of it. Just as she started to move for it, Joyce smoothly pushed it away. “No, not yet,” Joyce teased, and Emily frowned. “What? Did you get me a souvenir or something?” “Sort of? Guess you’re gonna have to wait and find out, huh?” “Or…you could just let me see now?” Joyce rose from the bed, standing with Emily’s legs around her waist. She taunted ever so lovingly right back, “Or you can wait until it’s time to show you?” Then she made a loud sniff. “Hmm…Emily, did you take a shower while I was gone yesterday?” “Oh come on! Stop exaggerating! I was too busy!” “Too busy napping and having dinner made for you by my secretary?” “W-well…” Emily didn’t need much time to think as she was carried down the hall. “Yeah. You wouldn’t get it. It was a ‘had to be there’ sort of thing…” With the flick of a switch the spacious bathroom was on and the lights were living. “That so? Well, what do you say to a nice scrub-a-dub in the tub so I can get you nice and squeaky clean?” And Emily answered right back with her own obnoxious sniffing. “I’d say you need a bath too, missy.” “Oh,” Joyce scoffed with a laugh, “I know I smell fine! You’re just jealous I’m not on a bathtime schedule, is that it?” “Say whatever you want,” Emily with a nasally pitch shrugged as she pinched her nose. “I’d just hate for everyone to think how stinky you are tomorrow!” Joyce sat Emily on the step beside the rim of the tub before rolling up her sleeve to turn on the faucet. “No, I guess I probably do need a bath now that your stinky-ness is rubbing off on me, huh?” “Sorry Joyce, I think that’s just you~!” Emily called after her girlfriend who disappeared from the bathroom. Not a minute later and she was back with a familiar shopping bag from a suitcase that’d been punched out of Emily’s reach. “New fancy towels?” Emily mused. “Oh! Conditioner? I actually wanted to try some new stuff that I saw on TV the other day!” Joyce always did know just how to surprise her! “Close!” Joyce giggled excitedly with the bag in her lap. “I got a couple things, actually…!” “Well don’t make me wait!” Emily crawled over to peer inside, but Joyce already pulled out the first thing. A tall bottle of many words and a large logo of a shiny soap bubble. Not what she was quite expecting. “Ta-da!” Joyce cheered, and not a second later she was gingerly pouring the bottle into the filling bath. “Wait, bubble bath soap?” Emily asked as she watched the tiniest bubbles already starting to form. Maybe not what she was quite expecting, but fair enough… “I saw some at the airport! As soon as I saw it, I knew we had to get some!” Finally making good on a promise that’d been a long time coming, it felt good to realize just a couple more desires. It went without saying that Emily couldn’t remember the last time she’d mingled with bubbles in a bath since ever, nor if a memory even existed with them. So while she wasn’t quite excited to receive the gift, it was a souvenir nonetheless that clearly made Joyce happy. Wrapping her arms around Joyce, Emily smiled. “Thank you for the gift!” “You’re very welcome!” Joyce hugged her right back. “But…! There’s more!” More than that? Well, come to think of it, the bag did seem a bit bigger than what just a single bottle of soap would call for… Emily’s hands latched on to the plastic bag, stationary for long enough to let Joyce swipe them away, but she didn’t. Interpreting that as consent, Emily looked inside the bag. There were multiple plastic cubes inside. Plastic packaging, at least. Clear cubes of stuff that had bright colored packaging and labeling trims on all their edges. Bathtime Blast! They were certainly not the puzzles she wanted to take into the bath like last time. Emily pulled out one of the cubes and looked at it. It was a generously sized bath toy sitting in both her hands. A spherical puffer fish stared back at her with a cartoonish smile and flimsy fins attached to its ball-like body. Admittedly unsure of how to react, Emily grinned dumbly as she asked what was already obvious, “Bath toys?” “So no more asking about bringing anything else in the bath, alright?” Joyce said as she dumped the bag of toys on the floor. There were five other cubes just like the one Emily had pulled out. A shark, an octopus, a clown fish, a turtle, a crab, and a sea urchin? If nothing else, it was admittedly kind of cool that they were all part of a matching set… Joyce always was good at accessorizing. “You didn’t actually need to get me these, you know?” Emily laughed as she helped with opening the packaging. “And let your baths stay boring?” Joyce couldn’t have sounded like it was any worse of a turn off. “You don’t have to play with them, but from now on if you’re in the bath, so are they.” With one ceremonious plump after another, each rubber toy splashed with the water as every saltwater creature was made acquainted with its freshwater home. Emily was next pulling off her shirt while Joyce had her pants and underwear sliding off all in the same stroke. “You’re getting in too,” Emily reminded her by undoing the button on Joyce’s jeans. And without the strength or will to reverse the process, Joyce undid the zipper next. “Okay…fine. You win.” “What? Do you not wanna take a bath with me that badly?” “Obviously not,” off came her shirt, “but I figured maybe with one less thing to play with you might actually try out your new toys!” “I’ll play with them…!” Emily groaned with her hands slapping the surface of the soapy water. “Are you sure they’re souvenirs for me, by the way? Kinda just seems like something you want to see me with…” “And I almost might have agreed with you, had you not been squeezing one of them just now,” Joyce was smiling ear to ear, catching Emily red-handed, or crab-handed specifically, who didn’t even realize just how aimless and distracted her hands were. Suddenly some of the local aquatic life was soaring across the tub with another splash. “It’s still a fair question…” “A question that will remain a mystery,” Joyce sufficed with a pat on Emily’s bare bum. “Now hop in. If we’re quick we can still fit in lunch!” And while managing lunch into such a tight timeframe was a questionable squeeze, somehow two adults and an armful of bath toys into a massive tub was not. The realization alone was enough to make Emily laugh as she smacked the water again. “It’s kinda like an ocean if you think about it?” “An ocean that barely has any life in it…” Joyce looked at the spread glumly. The unfortunate drawback to having a big tub was the steep number of toys that was needed to fill it. “I should have bought you more…” While she was feeling awfully proud in the store with so many toys, her imagination had clearly sold her bathroom short. “It’s fine,” Emily said, swiping a toy as she scooched right up against Joyce in the water. “You really set the bar so high for yourself in the weirdest ways, ya know…” “It’s because I care,” Joyce kissed the top of her head, reaching outside the tub for an empty cup. “Besides, what I love about you so much is how you’re always fidgeting with something,” she chuckled, “so I really do think these are great for you.” Whether it was Pip, a puzzle, a pillow, or Joyce herself, Emily in her blankest of moments always was busying herself with something, whether she realized it or not. But most importantly, a justified reason for babying Emily? Quite simply that put Mommy over the moon, and for Emily it put her head in a weird, cushy space. Just as a soapy dribble was starting to trickle onto Emily’s head, she started to ask, “So when are you gonna–!” Yet the trickle had grown into something more than that; a full on waterfall over the girl, now with wet hair in her face. “Sorry? You were saying?” “When,” Emily draped back her hair like they were curtains, “are you gonna tell me what actually happened last night?” “I already did?” “No you didn’t. Joyce? We promised? No more lies?” “...Is it really a lie if I just don’t tell you anything at all…?” “Yes, it is.” All Joyce did was take a breath, scooping another soapy helping of water and splashing it all over Emily’s head again. Joyce was stalling again. Emily grouched, “Hey.” “We still have to get you clean?” Joyce smiled above her innocently. “Fine,” Emily huffed, picking herself up and spinning around. She took her time in tugging Joyce’s legs out and positioning them just right to make herself a nice comfy lap to sit in. And just so the pressure stayed strong, Emily sat herself squarely in front of Joyce. Face to face. “Let’s make a deal, Miss businesswoman.” That made the adult narrow her eyes. “Hey.” “You tell me what happened last night,” Emily started, then squeezed, suddenly surprising herself once a stream of water went flying. “Ah!” Joyce yelped the moment it just barely hit her eye. “Emily!” Surprised and amazed, Emily looked down at the toy. “I didn’t know they squirted…! Sorry…!” And as apologetic as she was on paper, her giggles made her remorse seem questionable. Joyce’s answer was another cupful of water over Emily’s head. “Well they do!” It was a fair rebuttal and Emily was giggling the entire time, all the way up until Joyce finished wiping her face with a towel. “Squirt those the other way, please?” “Sure, sure,” Emily nodded dismissively, sure to break such a fickle rule again shortly, “but back to brass tacks. Tell me what happened, and…” And…something along the lines of making a deal that she had yet to fully think through. A prime reason for why she wasn’t the one wearing the business pants. “And I’ll tell you his name,” Emily held up a face Joyce was already less than fond of. The octopus responsible for sending a stream of water in her face. “So if I tell you about last night, you’ll tell me about your bath toy?” “Fair, right?” Damn it. Yes, it somehow was. “...Fine.” Emily’s skin rubbed against Joyce’s as she got somehow comfier than she already was. And just as Joyce was about to start– “--Wait!” Emily cried, “Hold this first!” She shot first and asked questions later, shoving the octopus toy into Joyce’s hand. “Okay, okay. Ready for real!” And now with her hands free, her imagination was left unhindered to spin and weave many different threads into something purely magical. Grouping clumps of soap bubbles, Emily got to work while she listened. “--And she just said it. Right in the open. She accused me! She…she just asked if I was a mommy on the spot…!” “Wait, so like, she just figured it out?” Emily asked with a wide-eyed expression. “But she just met you?” “Yes!” Joyce flexed her shoulders with an exasperated sigh. A tickle reached her nose though and she was immediately blowing on it. “Oops, sorry,” Emily wiped her face for her, leaving even more soap behind than what she removed, “my brush isn’t so good…” she looked at her soapy fingers. “What are you doing up there, anyway?” “Find out later. So what was her name? Isabelle? I…I guess that’s really weird. She could actually just tell from looking at you?” “I don’t know…” Joyce sighed again, wanting to sink lower in the water, had she not been balancing a naked Mozart in her lap. “I just…it felt so…violating? Like, who was she to just ask me that? To keep asking?” “Did you ask her to stop?” As silly as it was, vocally revoking consent was important. “Yes! W-well…sort of… I told her to stop…I think…” Then came another embarrassing admission. “But I kept answering every time she tried to guess… But wait, why aren’t you upset? Doesn’t that freak you out? That somebody else knows?” “Aren’t they just a stranger?” Maybe she had gone insane or there were simply too many bubbles on her mind, but Emily was steadfast on the course of simply just listening. It wasn’t often when she got to be Joyce’s complete sounding board, so it was awfully important she make the most of it. So somehow, miraculously, despite an encounter with someone like Joyce’s mom, yes, this wasn’t affecting her. “They are…” Which in itself is an immense relief. It’s what probably allowed her to leave the anxiety back in the state she flew from and just needed to deal with whatever residual worries she had now. “Maybe she was like a kinky whisperer, or something,” Emily thought out loud, fussing with Joyce’s head some more. “Hey, do you want to be a unicorn or a wizard?” “Emily.” Now wasn’t the time for funny hat discussion. “Okay, I’ll choose,” Emily continued on. “But no, I guess I’m not really worried… She doesn’t know us, and we don’t know her? I mean, isn’t there some kind of risk involved in going to stuff like that?” “Sure, I mean yeah, but…” “I mean, I’ll be honest,” Emily paused to swipe away the toy shark starting to sneak its way in. Octopi obviously weren’t friends with sharks. “I think me not having gone makes it a lot easier to be calm, but I guess I sort of have a broader perspective because of it…?” “Fair,” Joyce nodded carefully, trying not to mess up whatever her little girl was working on up there. Whatever it was, the distinct clearing of bubble-less water around them said that she was using quite a bit of material. “Did you only go because Carol invited you?” Emily asked a bit more seriously. “The other day when we were in bed and we were talking before you left. You were sort of joking about that babysitter stuff, weren’t you?” Joyce didn’t answer readily, so Emily tacked on some more. “...Did…did you want to get found out?” A dribble from the faucet plopped into the water. “No. No. Definitely not. No! No, this stuff is a secret. It stays between us. I don’t want anyone to find out!” No one more than who needs to, at least! “It’s private, Emily, I promise. I wouldn’t do that. I went because of Carol. Sure, I was a little curious, but really, it was only for that. Just that. Seriously.” And it was one of those rare moments where not only did Emily get to look down on her partner, literally, but in that same circumstance it was another opportunity to see her rock look so flustered. Emily took the chance to swab some bubbles on the tip of her nose, to which Joyce partly sneezed. “Emily…!” “Sorry, I don’t get to do stuff like this often!” Emily was thinking something, and Joyce was too. Joyce was thinking what she thought Emily was, and all that remained was for the baby in charge to say it herself. “I don’t think you’re being honest with yourself,” Emily casually chatted as she moved on to the final detailing of her masterpiece. “No, I am being honest.” Joyce proclaimed. “This stuff is private, Emily.” “So why did you let her keep asking you?” Emily drilled, and Joyce winced, for once not from the soap. “--Because she wouldn’t stop pressuring me!” “But you could’ve walked away?” “She had us sitting!” Emily’s mouth tucked itself behind her cheek. A poor excuse for even Emily’s standards, and Joyce was avoiding eye contact. “Can I try guessing?” Now the one acting all demure and vulnerable, Joyce pouted, “You’re gonna even if I tell you not to…” “I think you did want someone to know. Since talking to me the night before, or maybe even earlier than that, since Carol told us about this whole thing. I think you wanted to meet somebody that knows this kind of stuff. Someone that gets what being a mommy is like.” “...You’re upset with me, aren’t you?” “...Kind of,” Emily admitted, “but I guess also not so much. Joyce, I don’t know how much you actually talk to other people about this kind of stuff.” After all, half the mystery and wonder of getting an entire tailored nursery was not knowing nearly anything about what went into getting it all put together. “But you know yourself best, and all I can do is guess, so… My guess is that you wanted something out of this. You wanted to find something close to what we do… What we have together?” Amazing what a different perspective on things could do for a person. A fearful voice spoke, “And…and if I said you were right…?” “Then I’d want ice cream,” Emily declared, “no exceptions. That, and I think you must’ve been scared because you actually got what you wanted? I think I’d probably stop breathing if I was there in that moment… But anyway, you got what you wanted and it scared you? I dunno why, but that’s my guess.” “It was scary…like– If she could just guess so easily, what’s stopping anyone else from figuring it out?” “Maybe she knew how to guess because of the kind of event it was,” Emily shrugged. “I guess I’m upset because you tried taking things to the next level without actually telling me, Joyce… But since it was with a stranger, it doesn’t bother me so much…” “I…I don’t know what I was thinking… I don’t even know what I wanted. Is it weird? Ever since Carol told us about it at their house…I’ve been thinking constantly…there has to be more to this, right?” They weren’t the only two in the world? Adult baby furniture existed online for a reason. Giant pacifiers, big baby bottles. Stylized diapers for adults. “I…I wanted to find something that maybe we didn’t have yet…” “Maybe you sorta did, but I think you kinda ran from it,” Emily finally dropped her hands. “Okay, I’m done, but no looking until we get out of the bath!” “I need to wash my hair, Emily…” “Then do it after you finish washing me!” “Fine, you win,” Joyce gave up easily with a smile, finding her cup again. “Thank you for picking at my brain…” “Thanks for not exposing us,” Emily giggled, then turned her head. “W-wait! I’m kidding! It’s a joke!” A douse of water was promptly dumped on her head. No more lip from Emily after that. Sensitive topics were strategically avoided for the remainder of bath time after that. A little bit later and Joyce’s upper half was leaning out of the tub as she tried to squint at the mirror. “Is…is it a unicorn horn?” A very thick and stubby one, it seemed. “Half-right!” Emily beamed with pride. “A horn and a hat! You didn’t choose so I gave you both!” “Well,” Joyce turned her head every which way like she was modeling a summer-season set of fashion, “very chique, but a bit out of style, I think… Can Mommy wash it off now?” “At least compliment it!” Emily groaned, “and yes, you can.” Right before giving herself a shower of water, Joyce kissed Emily on the lips. “Thank you for such a pretty hat…horn hat.” And while Joyce took some time to clean herself, Emily casually piddle-paddled around the tub. “Ah! Wait?” Joyce called from her spot. Emily looked over and Joyce was holding up the toy octopus. “We had a deal, didn’t we? What’s his name?” “Oh. Uhh…Inky.” Obviously. Then she gave Joyce a toothy grin. “Cuz he squirts?” After pursing her lips, suddenly a thin stream of assault was firing across the tub. “Ah! Joyce! Mercy! Mommy! Stop!” Bath time didn’t last much longer. And later as Joyce was drying them both off, a new and uncomfortable subject had arisen. “Oh, and speaking of all that misbehavior in the tub, that reminds me,” Joyce rubbed Emily’s head with a towel. “I think I may have made a slight mistake before leaving for the airport…” “Yeah?” “Mhm. I don’t think you noticed, surely, but I forgot to lock the nursery shut…” Uh-oh. Play dumb, Emily. “R-really? That’s unlike you…” “Yes, it really is. I know you didn’t unlock it because I kept the key with me. Unless you’ve been learning how to pick locks?” “Ha-ha, very funny,” Emily crudely joked, secretly glad for keeping her act so well together. “No, I didn’t even notice. Be glad Sheila didn’t either.” “Even if she did, I doubt she’d snoop,” Joyce continued casually, and froze her hands the moment she had them over Emily’s arms. “But…you wouldn’t believe the weirdest thing that I saw?” “What’s that?” “This cute little foot peeking from underneath our bed! In fact, I just saw it when I went to get your bath toys from my suitcase!” A cold sweat hit the girl. “Uh…huh?” “Uh-huh,” Joyce nodded, continuing to dry a frightened Emily. Now that her therapy was done she felt free and unchained to use and assert her dominance yet again, and how wonderfully sweet of Emily to give her the opportunity to boot. “It was a cute, fuzzy blue foot, actually! A furry one! Almost like…a pair of footie pajamas we keep in your nursery?” Shit! When Sheila had her undress, it was a mad dash back to the bedroom just to get it off. It was trying to reason with herself that she’d go stash it back in the nursery once Sheila left…! Then once she did, Joyce had called and…well, she forgot. The next morning? She still forgot! “...You left it unlocked, so I guessed–” “--So you guessed?” Joyce leaned in close and over just to show Emily her look of feigned disbelief. “You thought because Mommy left your nursery open, you were allowed in there by yourself?” “Y…yeah…?” Suddenly she wasn’t so good at keeping her act together anymore. “Hmm…” Joyce hummed thoughtfully, radiating on Emily’s skin like a lingering panic. “W-we both did some stuff we probably shouldn’t have?” “Sort of, but I think where we differ is you know you’re not supposed to do what you did.” Joyce tapped her shoulder thoughtfully, making the girl flinch. “I…I’m sorry?” “And I’m sorry for giving you the chance to misbehave,” Joyce said solemnly. “So because it’s partially my fault, I’ll let you off easy tonight.” Thank goodness. “Really?” “Uh-huh. So, you’ll be going to bed. Early. After you’re diapered and we have dinner tonight.” “That early?” Emily openly cried. “Joyce! Please!” “Don’t Joyce me! You made your choice, Emily, and now you have to live with the consequences. Would it make you feel any better if I still went and got that ice cream?” “Really?” And suddenly things were right as rain again, until at least the dairy treat ran out later that night. “Yes, but we’re diapering you first before we take the car ride.” That had her pouting. “No pouting, either. Be happy I’m letting you off with just that…” she warned. Ice cream secured, but at what cost? “Here are today’s notes for the next meeting, ma’am,” Sheila handed off a manila envelope, to which Joyce accepted. “Thank you,” Joyce took them, though promptly set them to the side. And just as Sheila was about to leave, “Oh, Sheila? Could you stay for just a second?” Joyce was always good at sounding how she wanted to, but herself like every other person had far less skill at hiding any sort of undertone or ulterior feelings. Needless to say, Sheila could tell something was up, and unfortunately she had a confident feeling for what it was. But she stayed calm anyway. “Yes?” “Have a seat, please,” Joyce smiled, waiting for her secretary to park herself, right in front of her boss. It was quiet for a moment, save for the stare Joyce was giving her employee. Innocent, somewhat, but the hidden messages were far too strong for Sheila not to recognize and bear some kind of pressure. Maybe it was facing her consequences in real time that was suddenly taking the woman off her high, or maybe it was the well-needed reality check that she was about to get. A further word had yet to be spoken, nor a direct reference to just a couple nights prior needed be said for Sheila to already feel a steady stream of oncoming regret. She crossed a line. Big time. A very dangerous line. A line that separated a very private life from what Sheila had been so carefully and selectively allowed to aid and assist in. For just a second, it was quiet enough to hear a pin hit the floor. “Were you able to get what you needed from my house?” And are you ready to tell me what else you did while you were there? “...Yes.” No. “It didn’t take you long, did it?” Which was longer: using my computer or using my stove? “No…” Putting together the salad probably took longer… Joyce rested her hands on her desk, nodding thoughtfully, though not quite hearing what she was expecting. This was an issue. A big issue. A lack of honesty. A lack of loyalty? As far as Joyce knew, it wasn’t even a red flag, necessarily. Sure, she was treating this like an interrogation, but it’s not like her secretary had committed a crime. But it was certainly weird. Was there some kind of misunderstanding? Meanwhile, in Sheila’s mind: She knows. Ms. Summers knows. Did Emily tell her? Tell her everything? Did she see me snooping in her nursery? Did she say all the things I said about her? Crap…crud…shit. While Joyce was devising the best way to tease her employee, Sheila was already formulating a new resume. It wouldn’t be the first time Sheila had cared for Emily, given that Joyce was coerced into letting her take Emily off to bed during that business dinner. For Sheila to do anything like that of her own accord though was…interesting. Harmless? But weird. So with those thoughts in mind, Joyce cracked a grin as she said, “Sheila, I know that–” “--I’m sorry!” It was an immediate, knee-jerk response from the secretary. Her head drooped in just the slightest like her bowing posture could signal any more remorse than just her words could alone. Joyce rested her hand on the desk, looking a bit awkward. “...You’re sorry?” “I’m sorry.” Sheila repeated with much heavier resolve. “I crossed a line that I shouldn’t have. It was wrong, disrespectful and a gross misuse of my privileges…!” Was there actual recourse from this? In what way did it end in just this career burning down? How in the hell could she secure a living wage if she’d be effectively labeled as a snooper and a sneak? Her boss had to have known, otherwise they wouldn’t be having this conversation! “Sh-Sheila…?” Joyce raised her brow, taken aback by the profuse and sudden apology. Sheila was as humble as a person got, but this was Joyce’s first time seeing her apologize like this. Take off Emily’s diaper and put a big girl suit on her, and just maybe the feeling right now would be similar. “I’m not mad… I was just–” “--I have no excuse…! I…I did something I shouldn’t have, but I promise I won’t tell anyone! I’ll honor my NDA, I promise!” Christ, how was she going to explain this to Greg without being able to explain anything at all? Fired for snooping in her boss’ apartment and finding out that all the [REDACTED] she had made was actually for her boss’ girlfriend for her very own [REDACTED]? And because Sheila was so devoted, and Joyce knew that far too well, now the boss was starting to second guess herself. Was there more to this? More than Emily had let on to? More that Sheila had kept from Emily? And with a final hope, Joyce tested the waters. “Sheila…it’s okay if you stayed to have dinner with Emily…” She let the words sit. Permeate. Cure or dispel whatever worries her secretary may have been having. Bring back the calm and collected person that she knew and expected her to be. But a sinking feeling simply kept on plummeting as the look on Sheila’s face did not change. The remorse didn’t fade, not because Joyce couldn’t dispel her worries, but because she had yet to hit the nail on the head, and that was slowly becoming apparent. “Sheila?” “I’m sorry…!” she apologized unyieldingly once again. “I promise, I have not nor will I ever tell anyone!” It was suddenly worrying beyond a scope for what Joyce could perceive or imagine. Now her emotions were getting the better of her. Never once had she ever seen her strongest link so easily frazzled. If it was enough to make Sheila panic then there wasn’t a single object in the world that could withstand what she could not. Yet with quiet hesitation, Joyce pulled out her phone, taking herself to a program and a place she thought she’d been given enough honesty and clarity to stay away from. But apparently not. Strolling down memory lane, she opened up the archived footage from just 48 hours prior and started skimming. Skimming through seeing herself leave for the airport. Skimming through dead silence in the apartment, finding Emily in her footie pajamas that she wasn’t supposed to be in, napping on the couch… Sheila arriving… Sheila heading to the office… Sheila…not heading to the office…. Sheila entering the…the unlocked… Like her eyes had deceived her, Joyce blinked, re-watching the short snippet one last time, like it was some bizarre crossover she could never in a thousand years expect. This wasn’t real, right? Surely the footage had been Photoshopped? Was the lack of audio corrupted? Was that why the video was leading her astray? Quietly, shaken and unsure, Joyce set down her phone. Bewildered and beside herself, arriving at a complete and total blank. Sheila, her most trusted and closest employee of countless years, now before her, tail between her legs and with a look of guilt so heavy and so potent that Joyce wished the skyscraper’s windows so high up could actually open. So many questions. So many. So many problems. So very few solutions. Were there any solutions at all? Suspension? Termination? Terminate Sheila? Sheila? Fired? Joyce’s eyes couldn’t stop wandering, and Sheila’s wouldn’t leave the floor. As Joyce tried to compose herself, Sheila tried to remain as still as possible. She wasn’t curious anymore. She got what she had wanted. Realization. Satisfaction. Discovery and pleasure. All at the cost of flying far too close to the sun. She’d stepped beyond what she was allowed and now it was time to face the immediate consequences. The end of her cushy wage and well-lived career. “I…” The words were hardly coming to the boss, but her thoughts more or less seemed to stay in tact. This needed to be resolved. Now. Immediately. Get their bearings and figure out just what exactly was going to happen from here. Whether this really constituted a wide-scale issue or could somehow be mitigated into something else. She knew about the diapers, but now the nursery, too? She had to know now. What it was all for; what it all meant. But she couldn’t go unpunished, right? She couldn’t just be let off the hook for something so inappropriate…! Joyce closed her mouth for a moment, then opened it once again. “C…Cancel my next meeting.” And possibly cancel the entire day. By the end of her sentence Sheila couldn’t have been moving any faster than her heels would let her. “Bring your laptop back in here,” Joyce added before she could leave. For the first time in Sheila’s working career and personal tenure with Joyce, she was about to receive a disciplinary discussion. A very strange one at that. It would be a very awkward discussion.

What?! You doubted Sheila?! She's the one-stop shop for all and everything Joyce-related! Frankly, one could argue she's a bit tardy to the party with buckling down on her Emily-wrangling skills. Lol, but with less joking, I think she'd be a great addition! And yeah, while Emily has Joyce to force her into uncomfortable situations, Joyce doesn't have that same kind of "motivator," so this is just one of those times we get to see her thrown off her game! Thank you so much! I'm always so happy to get comments like these!

15 - Simmering Emotions Dawn was forced to quietly stew elsewhere in the house, resigning herself to Waver’s dog bed where he lay. The one place of refuge she had in the house was being transformed into something else entirely. She had no words for opposition, because she knew they wouldn’t take her anywhere. Whatever influence she had on the situation, it was well-gone by now. She had the chance to at least pick her poison at the store, but she waived that right entirely. Now, annoyingly so, her mind was too busy not thinking about the things she didn’t do, but the way Katherine must have felt every time she was put in one of Dawn’s most compromising positions. It was probably a shitty feeling, maybe just as shitty as how sore Dawn’s butt was feeling right then. She made sure to lay on her hip rather than her bottom, lest she agitate the feeling any more. But truly, an annoying point she couldn’t ignore was what that spanking did to her. Quite truly, it made her reflect. She was still angry. She still didn’t think of either Amazon as pure of heart, but...her animosity to them was less, and in James’ case her fear towards him had only gone up. “Dawn? Honey, you doing alright?” Katherine was peering over the couch with a toolbox in hand. Not as the user, but the gofer. She’d gone back to using pet names at some point, but Dawn was hesitant to ask for any of that to stop right now. Truly, she was afraid of James somehow escalating what she believed was a fair request… “I’m fine...” she quietly commented. She wasn’t fine, but fine was enough to get herself some space. “How about some tv? I can turn it on for you?” She gestured to the large black screen. “I’m fine.” Dawn could feel Katherine’s quiet look wait a little longer before asking, “Did you want some juice? I had James pick some up on his way from work?” The juice that she never asked for. “No thank you...” Even manners were something she was scared into being wise to. To think physical force could make her so compliant… “Okay...well, think about what you might like for dinner, okay? We’re gonna order out tonight.” Dawn didn’t answer, but eventually she heard Katherine moving around again by the metal clanks of the box in her hand. By a wide margin she was currently bonding with her most favorite person in the house. Waver, Amazon dimension or not, at least seemed the same kind of dog one would expect to find back in the other dimension. Just a normal, goofy and friendly four-legged friend. One who was busy sleeping, which made for the perfect pillow for Dawn. She never did get her pants back, but she also never asked. She didn’t want to interact. She just wanted to lay low and stay quiet, which was everything that the diaper around her hips wasn’t. Though she did hear the noise of a drill upstairs, albeit mild, the whirring noise still traveled all the way down here. Waver would occasionally look over Dawn in the same direction at the stairs, but would go right back to laying there. Maybe out of courtesy for Dawn. At least someone finally understood her, even if it was on such a depressingly simple level. The sun had just about set as the warm glow through the living room window was fading away like a closing door. Her window of escape had probably closed long ago. That was it.This was it. At some point during the day, some time, the tour group went back home. And here she was, stuck. Stranded with two Amazons who say that they are going to try and find a way to get her back home. But with talks of what they were having for dinner, buying her clothes, furniture for a bedroom, it felt like nothing but cheap lip service. They said one thing while their actions said another. All they could give her were words, and they’d proven themselves once already that they couldn’t be trusted, so what was left? Finally getting on her feet, Dawn walked over to the stairs with eventually a curious Waver in tow, finally freed of his obligations as a pillow to investigate as well. Climbing to the top of the stairs the drilling noise was louder than whatever kind of conversation James and Katherine were having. By chance, Katherine yet again poked her head out into the hallway. “Oh! Did you want some juice?” Katherine smiled, as if she was anew again and reborn. All the mental and emotional damage Dawn had done seemed to be gone completely, but her sense of pessimism argued that the deepest cuts never show on the surface. “No...” though her throat was dry, “I...I was wondering where the bathroom was.” “Well...” Katherine turned her head, “upstairs it’s right over there...” back to Dawn, “but what do you need in there, honey?” It couldn’t have felt any more obvious, to the point Dawn already felt the inklings of annoyance. But then she remembered James, quickly smothering the flame. “I need to use the bathroom...” she calmly answered. Katherine didn’t miss a beat, like a knee-jerk reaction was triggered, saying, “That’s okay, I’ll just change you when you need it?” She gave the curious head tilt, magically ignorant to Dawn’s continence. Deep breaths. Stay calm. “N-no, Katherine...I...I know how to use the bathroom. I don’t actually need diapers.” “But today at the store...” “--Yes!” Dawn interrupted, already feeling herself blush from the memory. “Yes...that happened, but it wasn’t me. It was that chocolate, I’m telling you! Please, just let me go...” She hesitated, stooping to a new personal low, but if the ends justify the means… “I can even show you that I know how. Please? Just humor me?” Isn’t this what they wanted? Dialogue? She was giving it, so it should beget her something, right? “The toilet’s very big, Dawn…” The uncertainty in her voice was thick and potent. “I don’t think that it’s safe for you to sit on it...” And then Dawn’s heart sank. An odd little trinket she’d taken for granted at her retrofitted hotel room. As low effort as the accommodations were for a Little, the one thing that was done right was an assisted seat for the Amazon sized toilet… A set of steps combined with a raised and smaller seat closer sized to back home that was fit for someone Dawn’s size. Of course an Amazon house in the suburbs wouldn’t have one. “Th...the hotel I was staying in...” God, of all things she could finally ask for. But she was asking for once, so that had to count for something too! “Mhm?” Katherine crouched down with her hands on her knees, listening patiently like a preschool teacher. “The toilet was Amazon sized, but it had a seat for Littles...so I was able to sit on it.” “Really?” Katherine bounced off the statement with curiosity to the point that Dawn almost thought of it as artificial, but it probably wasn’t. Fate was too cruel to make it as simple as that. “I’ve never heard of those before!” “Hey hon?” James called from the room. “Do you know where the screwdriver is?” Katherine looked over and called, “Yep! Let me grab it for you.” As she stood back up and walked to the door, Dawn followed as well. The Amazon casually looked down then hurriedly stopped her. “Ah-ah! Wait out here, okay? It’s gonna be a surprise, and I don’t want you accidentally getting hurt, okay?” “I wouldn’t get hurt...” Dawn tried to make her argument without sounding agitated. “There’s just screws all over the place, and actually, you’ve been doing such a great job at keeping Waver busy!” Another deflection. Did Dawn have any pride left to care about? Katherine was careful in opening the door by just a crack and then closing it on the way in. A minute later she was back out in the hall again. “First, thank you very much for talking to me about that,” she smiled with a soft chuckle, then looked ready to break the bad news. “I’m sorry though, but James and I don’t really have anything like that; it’s the first we’ve heard of it… We can take a look into it later, but for now, while we’re dealing with LPS, we’re going to stick to diapers for now, okay?” “B-but...” How could she say it so easily? Just “deciding” that diapers were the better fit for her? Pretending that she was incontinent for the sake of appearances? “--Tell you what, let’s go get you a drink, okay? You sound thirsty.” Without asking, Katherine pulled her up into the air and started to descend the stairs after patting her thigh for Waver to follow. And on the way down, Dawn’s discomfort was more evident than anything. “Dawn, please? Please don’t be upset with me?” She tried to rub her back on the walk down, but it didn’t make the thought of being in diapers any easier and it certainly didn’t make her any less upset. “I’m not upset with you...” She one-hundred percent was. “I’m just annoyed with the situation… I’m an adult, Katherine! I don’t use diapers!” Katherine nodded placatingly, hearing her words, but failing to truly process any of them as she opened up the fridge. “Uh-huh… You know, James and I don’t think of you any differently for it, you know? It’s okay if you need to wear diapers?” “But I don’t need to! It was just one accident in the store! It was the chocolate, but you don’t believe me!” And in the pursuit of making her argument, she raised her voice which apparently invalidated it the moment she was gently being shushed. “Indoor voices...” Katherine gently reminded. God...it was like James’ punishment gave her a whole new level of backbone. She really was able to walk all over her this morning... “Okay, maybe that chocolate really did give you an upset tummy.” That was the problem. The way she phrased it, she voiced it like a matter of chance and not a certainty, like there wasn’t something malicious in it. A small spat of indigestion rather than a laced candy designed to make someone shit themselves. “Don’t you think it’s a lot safer then to be wearing some protection for if something like that happens again?” Dawn wasn’t watching her reach up into the cabinet for a glass, busy with her own thoughts. She wasn’t convincing Katherine one bit. Instead, all her words were getting tangled and used against herself like some kind of reversal. “...Okay, there. That should do it. Both hands?” Katherine raised the cup up to her and Dawn instinctively accepted. What only hit her a second later though was that it wasn’t a glass. Not an open top kind of one. Looking down she didn’t see any actual juice. Instead, a turquoise plastic top with a small stout protruding from the side. Tilting the cup forward didn’t spill any of the contents as she looked at the googly-eye frogs and smiling dragonflies all around the translucent plastic sides. The cherry on top were the two plastic handles sprouting from either end like solid holds for the ones who might still be learning to control their hands. “This is a sippy cup.” Dawn said in a voice meant to imply that something was very wrong. “It’s so you can have your drinks anywhere in the house?” Katherine thoughtfully included. “It was one of the things we got today. Do you not like it? I wish we could have picked out a design you liked...” “No, but...I...” She tried not to sigh. The broken record was already on its umpteenth loop. “I don’t use sippy cups. I use normal glasses like you do.” “You can’t bring big cups all over the house, though?” “That’s fine,” Dawn tiredly stressed, “I can just drink it here.” “This one’s a better fit for you?” There was always a point to argue why she shouldn’t have adult privileges… “Fine. Then I’ll just take the top off.” And so she did. Or so she tried. Trying to turn as best as she could, she grunted uselessly as her strength gave out before the top so much as turned a millimeter. “Please...” She held out the sippy cup. “Please just take the top off for me?” A war was being waged inside Katherine’s head, but there was apparently a ceasefire long enough for Katherine to give in. “...Okay, but, you need to finish it all in the kitchen, and if you spill any of it, the top goes back on. Deal?” “Yes!” Dawn couldn’t sound any happier if she tried. A meaningful compromise! Finally! Katherine borrowed the cup and twisted it off with ease. “And both hands, please.” Katherine reminded right before Dawn did go for a one-hand swig. Unfortunately, the cup was unusually wide, which is why Dawn was quickly starting to prefer both hands, otherwise she could see herself dropping it. Was that intentional? Was it made this way to make specifically sure she couldn’t use a single hand? After all, what made a Little drinking from a cup any more endearing than needing to overcompensate by holding it with both appendages? Using both hands on the cup specifically and not the infantile handles, she sipped from the threaded edge of the cup like a coffee mug and drank the reddish juice. It was...sort of good, actually. Like a tropical fruit punch. It had a taste that sort of made her think of lemons, but without that clingy taste in her mouth intentionally meant to make her crave more. She did crave more of the juice, but at least it wasn’t caused by a film clinging to the inside of her mouth. “Is it good?” Katherine smiled, looking like she had her own treat to enjoy just from looking at her. “...Yeah...” She finished another long sip. The cup itself was actually fairly large. Maybe almost twice the size of a normal cup. But more importantly, the drink was refreshing after a long spat of not having anything to sip on. “All done for now?” “Mhm.” Dawn nodded. “I can come back for it later.” And in the kitchen it would remain until she needed it. Katherine opened back up the fridge and took more of the juice out, topping off whatever Dawn had managed to drink. Then she picked up the plastic top and screwed it back on. “But you said I could drink it without the top?” Dawn frowned as the cup was handed back to her. “I’m gonna drink it later.” “You can when you’re in the kitchen,” she enunciated the devil in the details, “but since you’re done, you can bring it with you in the house now. Isn’t that convenient?” “I...guess...” She looked down at the sippy cup, trying to think of it as more of a bottle than a children’s safety cup. “You know, I’m jealous you can have a drink whenever you want around the house!” “Yeah? I’m sure they make adult sippy cups that you could use.” Katherine laughed, but in the sort of way that dismissed Dawn’s point like a joke. “Maybe,” she said placatingly, “but are you all set until we talk about dinner? Have any ideas, yet?” “Uhm...I don’t really care...” She rathered that she wasn’t the one who decided. She didn’t even know what was considered good here. The food she had at the hotel seemed fine enough, but to be honest, she didn’t even know what most of it was. At least, she never got to order anything, it was instead decided for her. “Mm...” Katherine hummed with a sign that she wasn’t satisfied with the answer, “...Alright. See if you can think of something though, okay?” Back in the living room, without asking this time Katherine turned on the tv and lights over the living room, dimming them somewhat. The middle of a cartoon was already in full swing as colorful and overly animated characters scurried across the screen and simple backgrounds with chase music. Katherine watched for a few moments herself before deciding it was appropriate, more than likely, then set her down on the couch. Waver, the astute servant that he was, hopped up on the couch himself before Katherine could even set Dawn down. “Wow! I really think he likes you!” she laughed. “Waver’s friendly, but he’s really warmed up to you.” “Uh-huh...” Dawn said while she patted his large head. It was still crazy to think that there were dogs bigger than her just from standing on four legs. That truly scared her to think of encountering one that wasn’t friendly and just as big, if not bigger. “James and I shouldn’t be much longer upstairs, but I’ll be back downstairs often, okay?” “Mhm...thanks.” Sort of thanks. Still there were conclusions to this that she didn’t like, but apparently what was practical mattered more, even if she hated it… Then, a gesture Dawn didn’t expect was when Katherine left she dragged her fingers through the hair atop Dawn’s head. It was strange and sent a ticklish sort of feeling throughout her body. She squirmed a small bit much like her diaper crinkled; a “benefit” from being dry. With nothing left to do though, she begrudgingly tried to sip from the sippy cup. It was heavy too, now that she thought on it, and the plastic wasn’t textured for friction that made it easy to hold. It was like it was designed to… And so, with unfortunately much more ease, she held the sippy cup by both its handles which made the action a lot more doable. Lifting it up she put her mouth around the spout and sucked. Two small, yet constant streams shot from the inside and into her mouth, rewarding her efforts with an ample amount of juice. And when she pulled it away there wasn’t anything left residually other than her own small bits of saliva on the top. Fuck. It actually did work… Unfortunately, all she did have to do was watch the basic cartoon. The plot was simple and as telegraphed as one might expect from a generic children’s show. That in itself was weird, come to think of it. From all the propaganda and wild advertising for babying Littles, Dawn expected something along those lines from tv. Somehow had it become the one safe haven? Doubtful, but no less confusing. Her mind wandered elsewhere, onto more upsetting things. Home. She had essentially disappeared. A Little on an overstayed visa that was having her existence rewritten back on Earth. How long would it take for people to notice she was gone? Her boyfriend would definitely find out first...but her parents? Stacy alluded to the forces at work that made it so easy to lose her in the system. Extra steps taken just to create the illusion that she returned. Probably all the paperwork to prove it just to make sure the trail goes cold back there and not here. How long would it take to get back? She was a college student, she had classes she needed to take! If this took more than a week she’d definitely be panicking. A month? Two? By that point her graduation would be delayed by a semester… It sucked thinking about the time, and it sucked even more to hear James working away at what felt like a long term solution. She didn’t want long term, not even short. She wanted instantaneous and was still trying to get over the bitterness of feeling she was cheated from that. “I still can’t believe you set it all up so quickly…!” Katherine with the toolbox in hand followed James back downstairs. “Sort of quick. Looks like the sun came down?” “Thank you again!” Dawn had the pleasure of hearing a wet kiss on the cheek. “Dawn…? Did you want to see your new room?” Her excitement was clear and obvious. “Uhm...” She looked up at Katherine, then noticed James next to her, also smiling. It didn’t matter what face he made though; it all rubbed her the wrong way. “Sure...” Shortly she was whisked into the air and Waver hopped off as well to join the caravan. Dawn hardly wanted to see any of what she was about to, because she had a sickeningly strong indication of what it would be. Katherine couldn’t stop trying to gaslight the girl despite them being on totally different wavelengths. “Now this isn’t the final look, okay? It’s just what we need to get by for now. We can think about getting it painted, maybe a different carpet, a dresser and a toy chest...” She opened up the door for the big reveal. And in Dawn’s perspective, it wasn’t surprising at all, which is why her feelings of dread didn’t change. Gone was her bundle of blankets and pillow on the floor of the empty room, and in came the barebones of a budding nursery. A large, dark stained kind of walnut crib sat in the corner of the room with a mattress and bedding set already inside it. Against the adjacent wall was a high wooden counter space of matching material with a cushion kind of padding laid across the top, but she quickly deduced its function when she saw the wicker baskets of diapers underneath on the shelves. A tall white trash bin for a very specific kind of trash was next to it, and another trinket was a tall, empty bookshelf, probably for babyish knick knacks that would come to be. By and far the room still felt very empty, lacking a lot of accents, details and other small things to really make the space feel lived in, but it was livable, and it was where Dawn would be living. “Ta-dah!” Katherine sounded far too giddy for it to be a gift for someone else. “Do you like it? It’s okay if you don’t yet! This is just the start, but I think we can really make this into your own space!” The moment the bed was decided to be a crib and for there to be a changing table, it quite frankly stopped being her room. But, recent events were making her mind her vocal opinions a bit better, so… “Thanks...Thank you both for doing this for me...” “James used the drill, so he’s the one who put it all together! I helped put your mattress and bedding in, though!” Katherine couldn’t have sounded prouder to contribute. “Thanks James...” “You’re welcome,” he said from the back. “Like Kath said, it’s not a whole lot right now, but we can take our time filling it out now that we have what you’ll need.” Changes. She’d need changes. Constantly, apparently. “Oh! And look!” Katherine hurried them both over to the bookshelf. “Do you know what this is?” “Sh...shelves?” “Well, they can be if you’d like, but I meant it to be your own library! We can keep all your books here!” It was a suggestion and reveal that truly caught Dawn by surprise. She...remembered? Yesterday there was some talk between them in the car about education and reading… So, so long ago. Before the horrid shopping trip, before the LPS and timeouts, before the mental breakdowns in and before the hotel, before all of it. All of the trauma and madness, they had talked. Dawn was strangely taken aback. Of all the things they shared with each other and been through, it constantly felt like her cries and concerns went through one ear and out the other, cherry picking the words and actions that suited an Amazon’s diapered bias. But this was different. She actually remembered something about Dawn. This wasn’t some twist or uncanny mimic of Dawn’s wants and needs. Books. She knew she liked books. “You remembered?” “Hm? Of course I did. You told me, after all?” Katherine smiled so sweetly, so lovingly. And then it hit Dawn. It hit her like a ton of bricks. More than the residual guilt from when she kicked and screamed Katherine away from the car. More than the indirect apology she relayed through James at the hotel. More than the hesitation she felt each time she bitterly or coldly walked all over Katherine. More than the spanking she just had a few hours ago. More than… “Dawn, what’s wrong?” “It’s...it’s nothing...” she sniffled as she wiped her eyes. It was a small gesture and a basic gift. It didn’t excuse the crib or the changing table. It didn’t excuse the diapers, the sippy cup, the scolding or the childish punishments. It didn’t get her home any faster or counted for any progress or discovery to resolving this entire conflict. But in spite of all the mistreatment they’d done unto her and she unto them, it rocked her core in such a raw way that made her bleary-eyed. “Why…?” She wiped her eyes. “Why are you still so nice to me? I...I was so mean to you. Why don’t you hate me?” It was truly something that made her feel like absolute garbage. After everything, Katherine could still be so unconditional and loving. It made no sense. It wasn’t right. It couldn’t be natural, could it? “I’d never hate you!” Katherine shifted her for a hug. “It’s been hard for you, Dawn, I know that. It’s not fair that you’re stuck here, and James and I are going to do our best to make sure you’re as comfy and cared for as possible. Are you listening? I want this to be your home too, Dawn. If we can do anything to make you more comfortable here, please, tell us, okay? It makes me so happy to know how much you like it! But I want you to keep sharing your feelings with us, okay? Tell us when you're upset, angry, or confused. We’re not perfect...I know that, but I think we’re still better than average?” It was a vulnerable moment as everything hit her at once. Katherine’s words implied what Dawn feared, that it wouldn’t be a fast way out, but they were still going to tolerate her no matter what. She had her grievances, they were still far from perfect people, and she was certain she would find more ways to be angry with them. But a small laugh left her mouth anyway. It was enough to make Katherine’s eyes widen with glee as she laughed too, hugging her even tighter. Dawn hated it here, but at least there was a bookshelf… “What’s wrong with pepperoni?” Dawn asked, never seeming not perplexed by the way an Amazon could question her answers. “It may be a little too spicy for you, Dawn...” Katherine warned. “How about sweet tomatoes, instead?” Sweet tomato, never a topping she’d heard of, but she didn’t like the idea of sweet things paired with a cheesy, sharp and salted taste of pizza. “Pepperoni is fine, though...” Dawn insisted, simply because Katherine and James insisted that she insisted. And yet, here Katherine was, insisting that she insist on something else. “How about we get one slice with sweet tomatoes?” James said to Katherine. “If she doesn’t like the taste she’ll still have something.” “That’s true...” “Why only one slice?” Dawn asked. She wasn’t a glutton, but one of eight slices for three going to her sounded a bit unfair. “Because we’re getting a large, so one or two pieces should be more than enough for you,” Katherine explained, which...sounded fair when she thought about it. Need she forget her size difference compared to Amazons, their idea of a large was probably double the pizza she was used to… But she needn’t cap herself at just one. She wasn’t interested in a pizza with more tomatoes than just the ones in the sauce. They were underestimating her, as usual, hence the diaper… But even she knew it was enough arguing for one night. The pit in her stomach was still sore from what she missed today, so all she wanted was to take her mind off of it. “Oh, all done with your juice?” Katherine took the mostly empty sippy cup from Dawn. She did finish it, because it was good juice… But aside from that, her stomach felt full with liquid and it wasn’t doing her bladder any favors. She was feeling the need to go, but obviously was still holding out hope for an actual toilet. “You can have some more with dinner,” Katherine told her, phrasing it as if she already knew what Dawn wanted. “Now let’s order some dinner...” she muttered with a phone to her ear. And added to the witty banter was a sudden startling bark from Waver. “Oopsies, forgot! James?” Katherine called over her shoulder, “Could you please feed Waver?” “On it!” he called back from the living room couch. Dawn made herself scarce or at least distant by the time he came in. Waver could either understand human tongue or was used to the routine, because an overactive tail and following James straight to the pantry said a lot about his expectations. “Sorry, bud, guess we can be a little neglectful...” And as James carried the bag of dog food like it was practically a pillow, Waver once again had to be impatient with his bark. “Shh!” In unison, both husband and wife made the gesture to the dog both with fingers on their lips. At first it seemed like a funny way to engage with their pet, but almost immediately Waver slumped his head down and forward with his butt raised in the air, paws on his snout. It was a...trick? Sort of. Dawn couldn’t help but smirk at the intricate act. How smart was this dog? “We taught Waver how to use his indoor voice,” Katherine cheekily whispered to Dawn. “Before that he would always-- Oh, hi! Yes, delivery?” With a change in audience, so did her tone. After a few more seconds Waver ceased his submissive pose and padded over to the bowl James was pouring into. “Water too, I know, I know,” James spoke to him preemptively, likely anticipating another complaint from the four-legged customer. What caught Dawn off guard was when he looked down at her. “Did you want anything to drink? Water? Juice?” “Uh...no, I’m fine...thanks.” She awkwardly declined. James seemed friendly enough, but she relied heavily on the seeming part after the thrashing to her throbbing backside she was given by him. He couldn’t expect her to just get over something like that, could he? And frankly, it both upset her and made her angry to think he’d do such a thing to her. She wasn’t going to push it tonight, but it did irk her to talk like nothing had changed between them… “She’ll be fine until dinner,” Katherine added between moments on the phone, bolstering Dawn’s words, while also overriding her agency. “No snacks,” she suddenly added, “either of you!” Dawn turned her head back over to James, who’d been caught red-handed with a bag of something in his hand. With a frown, he put the chip bag back from where he got it. “Sorry about that!” Katherine had the phone over her ear again. “Yes, yes… Okay, so one large...” “Dawn? Did you want to watch some cartoons?” James asked her. “What? No...I’m fine.” She looked up at him, but not all the way. “Oh, alright then. Kath said you were watching some earlier; I figured we could find something you might like.” And somehow the rumors and misunderstandings could spread like wildfire. “No, I wasn’t really watching them...” Ah, yes, very convincing. “Katherine just put them on and I didn’t have the remote.” Just background noise, really, and background visuals… The point was, even if half the plot from one of those episodes was sitting in her brain like a benign tumor taking up space, it didn’t mean she was watching it. “Why don’t we pick something out that seems good then?” James offered her. “No thanks,” Dawn stayed reserved, “I’m fine. Thanks though...” James didn’t say anything, but maybe he was making a face. Regardless, Dawn watched him turn away as he called, “Okay, suit yourself. I’ll be in the living room if hanging out with Kat gets boring though!” Nope. Nuh-uh. It didn’t matter how friendly he was now. Dawn could hardly connect with a person that just finished spanking her in the form of a punishment that wasn’t her actual parent. Now that James was gone, Dawn glanced up at Katherine who still seemed busy on the phone ordering dinner. Waver was still going through his own meal, and that meant all eyes were off of her. A tinge of pain ached her heart when she looked at the front door. Well-locked and definitely impossible to get around now. She was stuck for now, and there definitely would not be another escape like earlier… But as her full bladder liked to remind her, life unfortunately did not consist of just one problem. She wasn’t being watched. She could sneak away somewhere in the house, maybe the bathroom? But then she looked down at herself. What she was wearing. A puffy diaper specifically designed to prevent a Little from taking it off. It was essentially handcuffs. Even if she could outrun the police, it didn’t do anything for her restraints. She could sneak off to the bathroom, but how would that get the diaper off her? She was stuck and trapped in what would eventually be a sponge containing her own waste. What was even worse was her mind trying to rationalize it. She’d wet something like this once already out of pure fear, so it’s not like this’d be her first as an adult. The sooner she did it, the sooner she could forget the stress, swallow her pride and try to forget the shame of it rather than later. But she was at a loss. It was one thing being completely forced, but it still felt like she had a choice. A chance to finally change the course of things, even if it took pestering. “Katherine…?” Dawn was tugging on her pant leg from where she was sitting on the stool with her phone. With no vocal recognition, Katherine turned her head down at her, flashing a cheery smile like Dawn had just been looking for some attention. “Bathroom...” she whispered with a blush, dreadfully cupping the front of her diaper and pointing out of the room to hopefully communicate the message. Whether that translated or not, Dawn wasn’t sure, because all Katherine did was smile and pat her head before going back to the order. What was that? Was she ignored, or did Katherine fully get the message? That’s right. Even if she did understand, she had already decided. She wasn’t going to let Dawn use the toilet. She didn’t trust her and seemed to wave the magic “LPS is watching” wand like it really was an all-purpose excuse to get her to bend over backwards. Further denial only added stress to the mind, and that went straight to her bladder. She was trying not to fidget, at a loss for a solution, but knew she wouldn’t find it in the kitchen. Hurriedly pacing, she traveled down the hall, all the while trying to tug on the diaper tapes. The adhesives were no joke. For all she knew, the tape and diaper were chemically bonded by now and virtually the same substance it was so strong. There’s no way I’m peeing in a diaper. Not by choice! Dawn slipped into a dark room with two windows as points of reference. She felt her way around across the hardwood floor until she squatted, sitting on her feet and bottom. By now the urge was unbearable and her body cried for release. But unfortunately it wasn’t much longer until she finally gave up, or her body partly gave up for her. Seeing no change in sight, Dawn grimaced as she grunted and beared down on her bladder. It didn’t need much of a concentrated effort as it did one small push. She gasped with the first spurt of warmth into her underwear, then it was a full stream from then on. Hot, warm, and weird. As fast as she felt her own waste creep around her hips and between her legs, just as quickly it was wicked away, yet the warmth never completely left. Helplessly, she tugged at the diaper tapes, groaning over and over, “Gross...gross...gross…!” It wasn’t by a lot, yet when she stood, the added weight was unmistakable. It was one thing to be glad that she didn’t leak, although the prospect in itself was beyond disgusting, and frankly she didn’t mind the thought of getting their floors dirty if it meant to send a message. The scenario played out in her head. This is why I don’t need diapers! Well if you’re leaking, then it was a good decision to keep you in them? Not when you made me wear them to begin with! Because you shit yourself in the store… Articulated in a way to suit Dawn’s personal word palette more, but the gist still remained. Damned if she did, damned if she didn’t. She had tried to “do” already, and came to find she was physically incapable. But her sanctuary in silence and darkness could not last forever. She could hear the warden calling for headcount, “Dawn? Honey?” It was like she had a scent any apex Amazon predator could seem to sniff out. Maybe it was the abundance of baby powder coating her nether regions. A darkened face poked its head into the doorway, and with the flick of a switch the lights came on. “There you are! What are you doing here, little explorer?” Katherine chuckled while Dawn tried to rub away the sudden blindness. It turned out that she was in an office of sorts. The large swivel chair with a tall desk and computer. A few short shelves and a tiny filing cabinet. Printer, papers, scanner… “Nothing...just seeing the rest of the house,” Dawn sort of lied. She would have died where she stood if she openly came out just to say she was here to do her business. “Uh-huh?” Katherine nodded. “This is James’ office when he works from home.” Dawn turned her head all around, trying her best to feign interest. “...Oh… Okay, I just wanted to see...” “In the dark?” Katherine gave her a weird smirk. “Was there anything else, maybe?” Dawn could feel her cheeks getting warm, but remained resolute. “Nope. Did you order the food?” She tried for a quick change in subject. She made for a brisk walk to the exit where Katherine stood, suddenly intensely aware of the lessened crinkle to her step now. It unfortunately tracked now that her diaper was fuller… The diaper. Not her diaper. And with a single hooked finger, Dawn was grabbed. Not by the scruff of her neck, or the back of her shirt. Instead she could hear the paper crinkle as the diaper’s waistband stretched from her backside, inadvertently being the perfect aid to Katherine’s diaper check. Dawn stammered leaping forward, “S-Stop! What are you doing?!” She spun around now with both hands between her legs, feeling the warmth of the front of her infantile underwear. “I was checking your diaper,” Katherine said plainly. “You’re wet, but you don’t need changing just yet.” “I...you don’t just get to do that!” Dawn shouted. “I can tell you that I need to change. And I want to change. Now!” “I just asked if there was anything else you wanted to tell me though?” Katherine, as perceptive as she wanted to be when she felt like it. “Why didn’t you tell me a second ago?” “B-...because it’s my business and not yours!” Dawn frustratingly quipped. “Dawn… If you’re not going to tell me when you use your diapers, I need to check myself so I know when you need a change. It’s okay if you didn’t notice that you--” “I KNOW that I pissed myself!” Dawn cried with balled up hands. “YOU made me do it because you’re making me wear these stupid diapers!” “Indoor voices,” Katherine calmly reminded her, with a face that seemed to be hardly pulled the same kind of way as it could’ve been this morning. “And yes, I made you wear diapers,” Katherine nodded, but it couldn’t have felt any farther from an actual admission if she tried. It was hollow, a meager morsel for Dawn to latch onto just to feel like her feelings were validated. The way Dawn saw her seeing it, she needed diapers from the start and Dawn was quickly losing her edge to give any kind of doubts to that. “Since I made you wear them, can I take full responsibility and check them too?” Stupid, twisted Amazon logic! “Stop.” Dawn frowned heavily. “I’m getting angry. I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” There. How was that for communication? “...Okay,” Katherine stood back up, but not before lifting up Dawn with her. “I’m sorry for making you upset like that. Do you accept my apology?” Dawn remained quiet for a second. She was dropping it. Just like that. Never fully, surely, because this would be inevitable, but at least she was being given some space. “...Fine. I accept. Th...thank you.” Her halfway acceptance was enough to put a delighted look on Katherine’s face. “And thank you for talking to me about how you feel!” she rosily smiled. “Dinner should be here soon, so how about we go watch some tv with James?” And as she explained, Katherine walked them into the hallway, closing the office door on the way out. “I’d rather not...” Dawn respectfully declined, not looking forward to another series of cartoons. “No?” She frowned. “There isn’t a lot for you to do right now… We haven’t bought you any toys yet...” Katherine mulled. “I don’t play with toys. I’m in my twenties.” Dawn hoped to contradict whatever was happening in the Amazon’s headspace. “I’m sure we can find some stuff you’ll like? We might have a chance to go to the store tomorrow, but that’s after work for me and James. Shoot, that’s right...” Dawn, wise enough to read the room, “I’ll be fine here by myself, you know...” Unfortunately though, not wise enough to anticipate Katherine saying, “Absolutely not.” Her voice dismissed it like a given certainty. “You know there are a lot of reasons why it’s not safe to leave you here without someone to watch you...” And today’s final stunt may have happened to be one of them... “I don’t need anybody watching me.” “Who’s going to change you when you need one then?” “I don’t need changes because I don’t need diapers!” “Heyy...” James’ voice called from the living room. Not the friendly sort of "hey," but the "watch your mouth" kind. It did reach Dawn’s ears and it did unnerve her, but she tried to ignore it. “Remember that we’ll get in trouble if that lady from LPS sees us mistreating you?” It was like her justification for diapers changed every time just to keep Dawn’s head spinning in circles. “I know you can handle it, so please show me what a trooper you can be?” “Just...” Dawn sighed in frustrating defeat, “just don’t put me in some daycare! Those must be a thing for enslaved Littles, right?” Everything she’d seen so far seemed to support as much. “There won’t be any Daycare,” Katherine assured. “It would be a little hard to find one that could take you on such short notice...” And like that assurance had gone to disappointment. Daycare wasn’t out of the question, it was simply a matter prolonged for a different day. Dawn tensed up, but she had to remind herself that it was one dreaded battle at a time. “Fine. But I’m never going to a daycare. Ever.” Katherine squeezed her. “Thank you for being so cooperative! Do you wanna play with Waver while we wait for dinner?” It was either that or cartoons, apparently. “I want to go outside,” Dawn decided, opting for option number three. Katherine started to wear a concerned expression, then had a sudden change of tune. “I didn’t get a chance to water the garden today… Okay, you can play on the deck, alright?” “Uh-huh.” She just needed some fresh air and something to take her mind off of a wet diaper. “James?” Katherine called, “Dawn and I are gonna be in the backyard, so listen for the door, please!” “Roger!” And off to the backyard they went. One of the most distinct features about their backyard was its fence. Tall and wooden, but the most concerning part being that it was tall. Much too tall for Dawn to climb, and even taller than Katherine. “You don’t have any shoes on,” Katherine said, like Dawn couldn’t keep track of her own clothes, “so I don’t want to see you running out on the grass, okay?” No pants was more in line with Dawn’s concerns, but thankfully that’s where the fence came in. Certainly she felt exposed, but at least it was a warmer night. Looking up she could see some of the stars beginning to show. She wasn’t one for constellations back home, so the jumbled mess of twinkling lights above her head could’ve been the same exact alignment she could’ve seen from Earth. From home… The saying “So close, but so far away” may have been appropriate one night ago, but the longer the day went on the further she drifted from closeness, becoming far from a solution in every sense of the word. Instead of trying to drum up a solution or devote any brainpower to conceiving one, Dawn sat on the edge of the wooden deck steps, gazing up at the stars, desperately trying not to cry over an overwhelming sense of loss. This wasn’t defeat, just a strategic retreat. A crippling retreat that hurt morale so dearly, that the meager promise of words from people she hardly trusted was her new lifeline. And sitting there, listening to the hypnotic hum of thousands of crickets hiding away, her knees fighting to be together despite a warm bulk between her legs, Dawn breathed in and out, slowly and quietly. “Anyone hungry?” James called from the crack left in the door. A resounding bark from Waver doubled down on the greeting. “Starving!” Katherine called back, waving with her wrist the last few spurts of water gently spraying from the hose nozzle. “How about you, Dawn?” Katherine started walking toward her as she coiled up the hose. “Think you can eat?” “Mhm,” she nodded, “sure.” With her mind in other places and wanting to stay there, she didn’t say much. A large pizza box was sitting on the center of the kitchen table, gallantly illustrated with a large and round Italian-stylized chef with cheeks so red and a handlebar mustache so black and curly that you might start to be suspicious of Santa’s off-season work. “Could you get out the plates? I need to go get Dawn’s chair,” Katherine asked her husband while Dawn was set back down. “My chair?” Dawn’s head followed Katherine’s figure right up until she was out of sight. Another oversight Dawn hadn’t considered. Obviously she was too small for an Amazon chair, and she wasn’t fond of sitting in Katherine’s lap either. So what did that leave her with? Of course. She already looked annoyed without even needing to see the reveal. A high chair. Yet another thing to make her blood boil, and another drawn-out, pointless explanation of why it wasn’t making her a baby when it absolutely was. “I wish I had set this up earlier!” Katherine jokingly miffed with a device in her arms. Big, but far, far too handheld to be a giant high chair. It was a chair, or a seat, but a small one, without any discernible legs to stand on its own. Dawn tried to give it a scrutinizing look before asking, “What...what’s that?” She watched Katherine pull back a chair before sliding her trinket against the edge of the table. “Isn’t it great!” Katherine excitedly spoke, likely mistaking Dawn’s cautious curiosity for enthusiasm. “I was thinking of getting a high chair...but this way we can all eat at the table together!” And no plastic trays for Dawn, which was a plus… If it weren’t for the bright coloring of the padded bucket seat, childish designs and buckle between the legs, Dawn would have completely considered it a fair and functional compromise for her size. That being said, it did vastly weigh better in her mind than a high chair… “Cheaper too, I’m guessing?” James added without judgment. “Don’t worry about that,” Katherine kissed James with an undertone of dismissiveness, implying that apparently pricing did not correlate with material cost. “What matters is that we can all sit together,” she nodded to her own statement affirmingly. It felt wrong thanking a captor for their “mercy”, yet Dawn said nonetheless, “Thank you for not getting a high chair.” By the tone of her voice, it showed just how low the bar of standards were, but apparently to an Amazon like Katherine, it made no difference. The floating seat was essentially “biting” on the edge of the table. In place where one of the normal chairs went, Dawn’s new specialized seat was suctioned on the table. “Whoosh!” Katherine cheered as Dawn rocketed off the floor and was deposited into the seat. And an insufferable feeling she tried to ignore immediately was the warm feeling of her own pee-soaked diaper her butt was now forced to get acquainted with. The seat was curved back towards the bottom so she couldn’t accidentally slide forward, and even if it did come to that, she could already feel her legs brushing the strap in between. Even when it wasn’t a high chair, it essentially had just as many restrictions… But if nothing else, at least she could argue that she was sitting at the table. And soon a large porcelain saucer, one of those large platters used at fancy parties for fancy hors d'oeuvres to service twenty guests at a time, was put in front of her. Then a spot for James, and then for Katherine. Only with Amazons as her reference did it finally click that they were Amazon plates. “Mmm!” Katherine’s voice enthused once James opened the top. “I can’t remember the last time we had pizza!” “Sure has been a bit,” James nodded, then strolled over to the fridge. “Want some water?” “That’d be great,” Katherine called, “and don’t forget to fill up Dawn’s sippy cup with her juice?” “It’s just a cup.” Dawn disagreed promptly. “And it’s not my juice. It’s juice that you bought.” “Would you like it if we called it something else?” Katherine, the wisest king of them all, bestowed unto the Little a grand compromise. “Just call it a cup...” she groaned, finding that the more she concerned herself with the semantics, the more foolish it made her feel. It was a catch-22. Take the time to argue every little detail and make yourself look like a kid fidgeting over the tiniest things, or stay quiet and unknowingly signal silent approval that only builds up to bigger and badder standards. Hence the paradox, neither route ever felt like winning. “And I want water too.” she demanded. “But I thought you liked your juice?” Katherine asked once more. “It’s fine.” she modified the question to suit her answer, as well as play things down. She didn’t “like” anything about this. She simply endured what she had to and identified the things that made it all bearable, to put it in extremes. “But I don’t want any more. I want water too.” “Oops.” James interrupted tactfully by setting a sippy cup down in front of Dawn, and she could see the reddish tint of the liquid inside. “Sorry, Dawn, shoulda said something sooner.” “It’s fine, just pour it back into the bottle.” She quipped right back, feeling particularly annoyed. It was just juice, but she wasn’t in the mood. “It doesn’t pour back into the bottle. Finish this and you can have some water.” James spoke like it was law put into effect, and effectively, it was. Dawn didn’t look happy though, feeling cheated as always. “You said you liked it, didn’t you?” Katherine right beside her tried to be supportive in her typical motherly fashion. And at least to Katherine’s credit, she grabbed the sippy cup and unscrewed the top, but left it right next to the cup. Just in case. A reminder that Dawn wasn’t far from falling back even further. “Whatever. I don’t care anymore.” She shut herself right down, then huffed her way into a different subject. “Can we eat now? I’ll have a slice of pepperoni.” It was like every time she spoke it was some sort of bomb that needed collective Amazon brainpower to defuse. “Dawn, honey,” Katherine started to say after sharing a look with James, “it may be a bit too spicy for you…” “What? You guys think pepperoni is spicy?” Dawn looked a bit taken aback. Were Amazon’s taste buds that sensitive? “I mean I guess it kind of is...but no, I’m fine. I’ll have a slice of that.” Not only that, but sweet tomato pizza just sounded weird. Life was about the salts and spices of a food. Sweetness was reserved for desserts, and pizza is not a dessert, and even Amazons couldn't convince her of that inalienable fact otherwise. “Hon, we’ll just finish what she doesn’t eat,” James told Katherine, speaking of the girl’s regret like it was a casual certainty. This wasn’t missed by Dawn, hence the passive annoyance on her face. But even if it was about to be her tiniest, insignificantly non-issue victory against these two, taking a stand in some way felt good. “Then one slice of pepperoni,” Katherine reached for the box, “coming right up!” At least pizza in this world didn’t look different from what Dawn knew back home. Sort of, at least. Cheese was cheese, and crust was crust, but proportions were a whole new ballgame here, expectedly. It was twice the size of a slice she’d normally expect, which made everything so bizarre when it still fit perfectly on her plate which was a reminder of how much a saucer that was too. And the pepperoni looked...recognizable. Same circles, same sort of texture, though they sort of looked like inverted domes, but even Dawn knew that not all pepperonis were made equally, yet hopefully loved all the same. And suddenly her slice of pizza was executed. Beheaded as it lost its tip, sliced and diced into smithereens by sharp tools of murder. In Dawn’s moment of totally paralyzing shock, she looked up at the executioner herself. “There,” Katherine smiled, pulling back the fork and knife once half of the poor slice had been mutilated into perfect squares, “that should be a bit easier to eat?” The pizza was big, very big. Even if it was a “hold with your hands” kind of food, an edible umbrella for a Little was only asking for grease to drip everywhere with each lift and bite. The math simply did not support Little's hands preventing any sort of droopage from such a big piece of food. Albeit not her ideal way of eating it, Dawn picked up a square of her pizza, popping it in her mouth. It was good. Pizza was pizza, and that was comforting enough. Cheesy cheese, tomato sauce...and...juice. A good helping of juice. She was already sipping from her cup. “Is it too much?” Katherine asked, casually eating her own slice like nothing was amiss. “Ahm...” Her tongue was nearly hanging out from her mouth just to give it some fresh air. She tried not to pant and continued trying to nurse the burning spice on her tongue with more and more of that juice. How? It was just a single bite! It didn’t even have pepperoni on it! That’s what was so spicy, right? This wasn’t normal. This was spiked, or something. Like that chocolate! “I’hm fine...” Dawn tried to say, sniffling from her sinuses starting to clear themselves. She felt like she needed to move, but that was hard in a baby seat, so she kicked her legs underneath the table, just to burn off some of the taste! “Do you wanna try some of the sweet tomato instead?” James asked, and he too, looked absolutely unbothered by the pizza. What was wrong with them? Were they made of steel, or something? Did their taste buds not work? “I’m fine...” Dawn said a bit more confidently, finally feeling her tongue calm down. This was a battle of attrition. If she could outlast the spice, she could finish the food. “I like spicy, anyway.” Questionable, but it was the ongoing battle to continuously try and prove these Amazons wrong, and she needed a victory. Desperately. Mostly Katherine and James chatted about things that mostly went over Dawn’s head. Figuratively and literally. People she didn’t know. Shows she didn’t watch. Who got a dog. who was going where. Eerily enough, it almost made them sound like normal people. Like this wasn’t some land of giants keeping other adults in diapers. And Dawn, meanwhile, was unfortunately trying to psych herself up to her second bite of food. She wasn’t scared. She liked the food. She liked spicy. She liked spice. Hesitantly, but with some resolve, Dawn plucked a square with a pepperoni on it. She could see herself now. The new fresh meat in the prison block, and she was staring down the toughest guy of the litter. As she stared at his red, pepperoni eyes, she knew that all it took was one good punch to knock this fool on his feet. Then she’d be top dog, and all the lackeys around him would be trivial. Take on the toughest first...she quietly sighed before opening wide and sticking the whole piece in. The funniest part about spicy food is the delayed reaction it can often have. That’s why this wasn’t so funny. Almost immediately the moment her tongue touched the thin slice of meat atop the square of pizza, the devil himself came down to rake the coals across her tongue. Her head felt warm and her cheeks were hot. Everything was on fire and her throat was already closing, before she could even swallow the spice bomb in her mouth. She tried to chew, she tried to endure, but tears were tears and there was no hiding that. “Dawn? Honey?” Katherine asked, then her eyes widened with surprise the moment she saw the state that she was in. James sitting across from us was caught off guard as well. “Maybe we shouldn’t have let her try...” “H-Hawt...” Dawn breathed through her mouth, continuously sniffing up the sinuses leaking out of her nose. What had she just tried to eat? This wasn’t pepperoni, this was poison! A napkin was pressed against her mouth though, held there by the ever doting Amazon beside her. “It’s okay sweetie, you can spit it out, okay? Come on, I know you’ll feel a lot better once you do, yeah?” It wasn’t even a choice. Dawn’s body decided for her that she would not be finishing the pizza from hell. She spit into the napkin her half-chewed, soft, unrecognizable chunk of pizza. After round two she was already tapping out, but even without the substance her tongue was still barely feeling any better from the beating it’d just taken. She was full-blown sobbing now. From pizza. “Want some juice?” Katherine was already holding out her sippy cup, and Dawn swiped for it like the last bottle of water in a desert. She leaned back and swigged it all away down to the very last drop. And then Katherine’s glass of water, supported by the Amazon herself. “Sweetie, I’m so sorry...” Katherine apologized, oddly enough, in a pained voice. “If I knew it was going to be this bad, I wouldn’t have let you try it…!” Dawn was too preoccupied to answer, but she wanted to disagree. Failure was learning, even if learning was painful. “Howh...” Dawn sniffled, breathing heavily through her mouth like she’d just run a full sprint, “how do you guys eat that stuff?” “It’s what we like, sweetheart...” Katherine rubbed her back the whole way through. She sharply exhaled with her teeth baring, just to make it feel like cold bursts of wind across her searing tongue. “You guys like how this feels?” Dawn asked incredulously, snot leaking from the nose. Were they masochists? Or was it like mutual sadism where they enjoyed seeing their partner struggle with the taste instead? Like how they enjoyed demeaning Littles? “Let me get you some more juice…” Katherine quickly disappeared with the sippy cup. “It doesn’t have as much of a kick for us as it does for you, Dawn,” James explained, “Amazons just have a higher tolerance for spice.” Higher didn’t even describe it. It was like calling the difference between cardboard and steel marginal. Easily, that was the hottest thing Dawn had ever had in her whole life, and these people were writing it off as some mild little thing? Dawn finally realized what Katherine set out to do and tried to chase her with words, calling, “W-wait, I said I wanted water--hey!” she shouted with a nasally tone as James ambushed her with a napkin to the nose, pinching off her fresh streams of nose juice. “You’re leaking like a faucet,” James commented, then squeezed her nose, “honk-honk!” he teased. “Egh...cut it out!” Dawn shouted back, unable to leave her chair, so all she could do was lean her head back and turn the other cheek. “If you can use your outdoor voice then I think that means you’re feeling better...” Katherine sighed with relief as she set the sippy cup back down, top still unscrewed. But Dawn’s plate was promptly pulled from her reach, paired with Katherine saying, “but I think that’s enough adventure for one night. Don’t you wanna try some of the sweet tomato? I bet you’re gonna like it a lot?” “No. I’m fine with this.” Dawn sniffled, a small, but clear detriment to her resolve. Her resolve to not feel demoted in some way compared to these two. “Do you really want to be in tears every time you take a bite of your food?” James made an obvious point, but logic was starting to lose its effect on the increasingly irrational girl; a product from trying to perceive the world she was currently stuck in. “That’s my decision. And yes, I do.” Dawn huffed. “Now give it back. I’m finishing my food.” “What’s wrong with the other kind?” Katherine frowned. “We got some just for you?” For her. It was always for her, and yet Dawn could hardly remember a single time when she asked for any of it. “And I didn’t ask for it. Katherine, James,” she crossed her arms, looking as dignified as one could in a baby seat, “I don’t want to fight.” “We don’t either.” James agreed, but did not extend an olive branch. “But you need to drop it. You’re being picky right now.” “I’m not being picky when I say that--!” “Alright, alright,” Katherine shushed Dawn promptly, even giving her husband a look. “Dawn? How about we share a slice? Actually, I’ve never had sweet tomato before; I was a little curious about how it tastes…?” “Then you can have some yourself,” Dawn groaned. “Whatever. Forget it. I’m done. I’m done eating.” “Dawn, don’t be like that,” James admonished. “You only had two bites?” then Katherine to finish the one-two. She was already pulling a slice out of the box. Dawn watched her plate be emptied onto Katherine’s and was quickly seated with a new piece of pizza. It looked like softened tomato sauce cubes dotted the top of the pizza. No circular cuts of meat that looked salty and tasty (and unfortunately spicy to an unholy degree). Just like before the pizza was cut into bite-sized pieces and things were about to loop once again. And as Katherine was cutting, Dawn knew how the song and dance would go. Sit there and force her to finish her food. Nowhere to go if the only way out of your seat was by getting on the good side of the two only people capable of it. Frustrated, she swiped a piece of the bite-sized pizza from the plate and stuffed it in her mouth. It was fine. It tasted like normal pizza. The not overtly spicy kind. Unfortunately sweet, even. Stupid tomatoes… “Ooou, is it good?” Katherine enthusiastically asked. “It’s pizza. And it’s sweet.” She was already trying to lean out of her seat for Katherine’s plate. “Let me have some of the other stuff now.” she demanded, like negotiations were still on the table. But apparently good will and masked intent were low in supply, because Katherine firmly remarked, “No, it’s too spicy for you.” Finally without beating around the bush. “If you can finish this though, we got two slices for you.” And didn’t that make her feel special. More humiliation as a reward for being so willing to be humiliated. “Just taste it yourself! It’s sweet! Pizza isn’t supposed to be sweet!” Katherine was still smiling, but something about Dawn’s taunt made her visibly stiffen just slightly. Her hand hesitated for a moment as it reached out for the food on the plate, then seemed to double down with commitment. Playing hot potato with the pizza, Katherine couldn’t have been holding it longer than a second before getting it into her mouth. “M--...Mmm…!” In a loud, exaggerated tone of voice, Katherine nodded approvingly with a hand politely covering her mouth. Her eyes were shut and her brow was furrowed while she forced a somewhat pleasant reaction. But it was clear as day. She hated it. “What, do you not like sweet things?” Dawn frowned. Again, pizza had no business being sweet, but it obviously wasn’t the end of the world. The nerve they had to call her the picky eater? “Sweet tomato is usually a flavor meant for Littles.” James commented, looking a bit amused at the look on Katherine’s face, who just finished washing down the food with a large swig of water. “Amazons don’t do well with sweets normally, like how Littles can’t handle spice...” Katherine sighed, her one-hit wonder performance far behind her now. “Well I can handle spicy. You guys just put a ridiculous amount of it on your food. Why even?” “It doesn’t taste that bad to us, sweetheart...” Katherine further emphasized by the unbothered look, or rather, a face of glee to be eating something palatable again. “Kind of like how that doesn’t taste bad to you?” “Well it does.” Dawn crossed her arms. Not bad in the unbearable sense, but bad in an unusual way. It was good. Sort of. But that wasn’t pizza. Not her kind of pizza. She’d rather nostril-flaring, throat-closing, tear-inducing pizza over something that validated the social disparity between the big and small. And so dinner went on. A continuous wear and tear to Dawn’s mental fortitude, eventually convincing her to eat some of her food, and finally just giving in completely. It wasn’t torture. It didn’t even taste bad. She just hated giving in at this point. Katherine and James chatted, Dawn listened. “So?” But finally, Dawn interrupted, specifically looking at James. “Did you find anything out today?” He blinked, glancing at Katherine like she might have the answer. “Anything about what?” She stowed away her annoyance just this once, taking into account what a busy day today had been. “About getting me back home?” “Dawn, I’ve been at work all day, and Katherine’s been watching you. There hasn’t been a chance all day--” “Weren’t you just watching tv though?” Dawn interrupted without hesitation, already prepared for a counterattack. “That was free time, wasn’t it?” “Because it’s been a long day, Dawn,” James seemed to answer without much apology. “This is just after I finished setting up your room so that you’re able to stay with us while we figure something out.” Dawn’s mouth tensed as her palms started to press against the table. But she shot a hot burst of air from her mouth, scoffing with a mumble, “Yeah, for a crib I never asked for...” Then a brazen hand caught her by the chin. “Dawn, don’t be rude,” Katherine looked down at her with a stern look. “James works hard and he’s trying just as much as I am to make you feel comfortable. He doesn’t deserve an attitude.” “...” Dawn grimaced. There was truth, but it hardly subsided the frustration. “...Fine. But I’m angry.” “And that’s one thing, but it’s another to take it out on others. Apologize.” Katherine, with a firm grasp on the situation now, reprimanded the relatively small girl. “Sorry.” It was plain, undressed and crude, but it was an apology. “I’m done eating,” she looked up at Katherine, making a statement rather than a request. She hesitated to ask, but then remembered just how little of a secret her own modesty was anymore between these two. “Can you change me now? Or let me change myself?” Preferably the latter, which in retrospect she should have asked before the former. “Before bed,” Katherine answered, rewriting the rules of the game on the spot. “And good job eating your dinner,” she smiled, “I’m proud of you for finishing something you didn’t like.” She didn’t want Katherine to be proud of her for anything. Anything an Amazon probably found pride in with regards to a Little was more than likely something to do with either blind obedience or a diaper... “It...it wasn’t that bad. It was different.” And so too if Katherine could change her mind, so could Dawn. “How about some more cartoons before it’s time to go upstairs?” Katherine was already lifting her out of the seat. “James and I are gonna still be eating, so the TV is all yours. You might have to share with Waver, though!” she playfully taunted. “Fine.” It wasn’t even worth fighting anymore, but she would certainly be finding herself in need of some other kind of entertainment soon. TV was hardly a pastime for her under normal circumstances, so she was certain to break if that’s all she could get in a place like this.

Oops. Apologies for the mistake! Goes to show I really did read it a while back... Thank you for helping clear that up! Now I might have to take a trip down memory lane! Yet who are we to question the ways of disciplining Littles? Sometimes they've just got some barriers that need a little breaking down!

I'm not going to commit to anything specific, necessarily. The extent of what goes on in this DD will only be revealed as Dawn learns about it, so I wouldn't be listing off all those things as a given certainty. That being said, there have been indicators about some of the more mild (but just as inhumane) stuff. You've seen a lack of mention of it from James and Katherine, as well as Katherine's reaction when James was getting even remotely close to that stuff. Yep! Without trying to scrutinize what I wrote too heavily or trying to recall, that sounds about right. James and Katherine definitely seem like the more "conservative" types, (really depends on how you look at things...). But just based on their actions and how they've spoken, you can probably infer some of their positions on things. Dawn's definitely in the stage of testing limits. Because she isn't getting full answers or simply finds reality too hard to believe, she's pushing boundaries until something will inevitably pushes back. She should be making the best of it, but I think the fear of this possibly being her life from now on is why she absolutely refuses to even try and get comfortable with it. The diaper dimension can be difficult, because even though everyone uses the same name, just what can go on in it is wildly different from other iterations. I don't have every detail ironed out about how and why things work the way that they do, but I am trying to establish some chain of logic. With hypnosis as an example, my favorite take on that has been from a story I feel like I read forever ago... @WBDaddy wrote it, I think? The premise was about a Little going undercover at a daycare trying to rescue her sister that'd been adopted, and pretty mutilated, if I remember correctly. (Sorry if I'm incorrect, and I can change this if that's the case!) Point is, one thing they did that I got on board with was having hypnosis available on a hard to get kind of VHS tape, or something. I wouldn't say though that hypnosis seems nearly as hard to get in my take on the DD, but I don't think I'd want it flashing on everyday TV screens on a whim, either. But who knows, maybe it'll work into something like that. But kind of just "doing the math," I wouldn't expect Katherine and James to just spring hypnosis on Dawn.

I think Dawn has almost every right to be angry, and I think what she did right then was just cashing in on just about nothing going her way. As many breakdowns as she has, it still seems fair that she'd want to keep lashing out in the most independent ways possible just to prove a point to either others or herself. Even if it disregards completely rational thinking, I'd figure she's just fed up at this point. That's also a really cool parallel to think about! It is funny to think that James really does seem to be giving her the "fairest" kind of treatment. In the end it's still more childish treatment, but he isn't cutting corners or just as you put it, sugarcoating things with her. (Not that I don't like Katherine's approach!) It was a dumb decision in retrospect, I'm sure, and I bet she even considered that it was stupid initially as well. That being said, her buttons had probably been pushed far too hard and too many times to really care about the gamble she was making. In her eyes something like this as dangerous as it is, was the only way to give some agency back to herself. After all, she got to walk down the sidewalk, unattended, able to make real choices about where she could physically go. Apologies for the wait, but it's likely to be about a month until the next public release! Thank you for enjoying the story, though! Thank you for the comment! I think it's a mix of rules already having been established as time goes on and Dawn continually testing their limits. As far as the spanking goes, I wouldn't call that unfair, because for the most part it comes from repeatedly breaking rules or acting in ways that clear common sense dictates not to, which Katherine and James expect Dawn to have. Little in diapers, or not. That all being said, I do think James and Katherine are trying to work with Dawn, though trying to compromise in any real sort of way with Dawn comes off as extremely difficult. They can't quite meet her very far because of their own values as well as Amazon society's. LPS is just another added pressure to do subjectively "right" by Dawn, and Katherine has already mentioned wanting to be a Mommy already. In a lot of ways they may not even feel or see the need the compromise. Deep down there are good intentions, but a lot of factors are warping and twisting the ultimate result. As much as it sucks to say, Dawn's real conflict seems to be pretty close to that, if not exact. Whether she really can go home or not, it doesn't change that somewhere deep down she has the hope of returning. It's the core that's preventing a total paradigm shift in her attitude, I'd say. It's the difference between resisting the changes around her and holding out for rescue, and giving up that hope and just learning to adapt to a situation that she's eternally stuck in. Dawn if not already, will very soon understand that no one in this dimension is going to give her the credibility of a fully fledged adult. She can acknowledge that but still avoid confronting it if she just needs to bide her time until she can leave this dimension. If she really is stuck here though, then it becomes that whole new conflict of actually trying to accept or combat it. Seeing those things for what they are is what may make her even more desperate to escape. If there's any kind of chance or opportunity, the thought of missing it would be terrifying. Say if she misses her chance or already missed her means of escape, that means she knows what to expect from here on. Thank you for the comment! Escape? Possibly. Long haul? Definitely. I hope to make it clear that Dawn, Katherine, and James are all flawed characters, but I think there's been plenty of DD stories to already communicate that just about every Amazon on some if not every level is flawed in their thinking. That being said, I don't want to vilify them either. James and Katherine are still "good" people, but their best intentions are from a side of the fence that Dawn wants nothing to do with. But yeah, communication is supposed to be key, though is doesn't seem like they've made too much headway on that.

Poor Joyce indeed. I think she may have flown a little bit too close to the sun... Thank you very much! Knock on wood, but at least for now I think I've found something for a consistent release schedule. With how spacing works out, Sheltered should be approximately a monthly release for the public. I may have just forgot to update one sooner than the other... However! A double release, yep! I think Joyce may have been slipping herself in a little bit more than she was expecting. While she was in a "safe" environment, I think she was just sort of lucky to not meet someone like Isabelle up until that point. For the most part she went from tame to pretty extreme, relatively speaking. And yeah, maybe she should take a page out of Emily's book? If anyone can speak on it, surely it's Emily. Yes Yeah, and depending on who you ask, it might be fair to say that she's already crossed it... All a matter of perspective, though! Thanks for the comment! Thank you for being a patron, and thank you for commenting on the public side as well! I tried to build Joyce's character as someone clearly kink-oriented, but also as someone very narrow-minded on that view of things. As devil's advocate, you can make the argument that when she was first scouting diapers or baby furniture that the very existence of those things should've been enough to make her think twice, but given how much time has passed and things have developed, I think that gives credibility to her shock in never expecting to get so close to something or someone in the flesh. It's definitely not a perfect story, and especially with the earlier half there are subtle/meaningful changes that I would make based on my own impressions and helpful critiques I've gotten over time. That all being said, I'm glad nonetheless that there are so many people enjoying it and kind enough to even leave comments and feedback. I'm sure Joyce's parents could be understanding people. After all, I think if Mary is going to be as bold and invasive as she is, being tolerant of others is absolutely the bare minimum to avoid being completely hated... So, while they may not have seen the nursery, and only Joyce's mom is privy to Emily's diapers, we'll definitely be seeing them again and there will be consequences for others being slightly in the know on Emily and Joyce's situation. Thank you again for commenting!

Yeah, given what kind of dimension she's in, I think it's fair to say that it can always get worse. Thanks for commenting! That's definitely a balanced way to look at things. One way to win the struggle can just be learning how to go with the flow, but of course that's a lot easier said than done. There is no easy answer, I'd say, and no matter what happens, it will have been a difficult point to reach. Thanks so much for commenting and reading! Thanks! 14 - Divine Revelation As advanced as a horrid dimension like this one could be, the technological advancements were obvious in as many obvious ways as there were subtle ones. Where it was evident could be recounted by Dawn from her brief vacation here, assuming she were of a saner mind, at the moment. Instead, she continued her pattern of lifelessness, boredly listening to the digital beeps and bops of every price tag scanned by the cashier. One such item that didn’t go unnoticed was the already opened package of diapers. The missing member of the platoon? Secured around Dawn’s waist... “So you just got her? Oh, congratulations!” The cashier cooed while Katherine continued to unload from the carriage. “Yeah...she’s a little bit of a handful, though.” Katherine chuckled. Dawn kneaded her knuckle against the carriage handle, biting her tongue and doing her damndest to not mind her own business, otherwise she’d be cussing out yet another stranger for getting involved in her business. “Oh, and actually, the pants she’s wearing are from the store too...” an apologetic voice was wheeling her forward. “Do I need to take them off of her?” The cashier waved her hand. “Nope, not an issue! We usually keep these tags on the back, anyway…’scuse me, sweetiepie!” And before she could resist, refuse her consent, another probing hand like it was some kind of free show gingerly took the waistband of Dawn’s pants, tugged it down some for anyone who may have thought the diaper bulge wasn’t enough already, then held her like that until a loud red beep signified the price scan. “So obedient, too!” The cashier complimented. A compliment for Katherine. A mocking comment for Dawn. “She can behave when she wants to...” Katherine sounded partially in agreement, but that only made Dawn give her an angry look, hidden from the cashier. No more beeping. Plastic bags were loaded into the cart. Was it finally over? Had she suffered enough? “Oh and actually, I have a few of the display tags for some furniture I was hoping to order...” Gee, what furniture? A new couch, perhaps? “Yep!” The cashier pepped right up. “We take care of that here...” She muttered with a scanning eye over a few slips Dawn didn’t remember seeing. Then again, she did her utmost to try and tune out all the shopping. Even if she cracked at the end, things were going well up until then. “Are you looking to have these delivered today? It is a bit extra since it’s getting to be midday...” “Yes, that’s fine.” Oh boy, and paying the premium for delivery? Dawn rolled her eyes. She’d definitely be having this used against her. More “Good will” and “faith” she’d be spitting on. “Okay, you can swipe your card here. A name and an address, please?” “Katherine Foster, at 72 Providence Road?” “Okay…! Just swipe right here, please. Do you know when you’re going to be home to receive this stuff?” “It can come sooner rather than later. We’re headed home right after this.” Please. Let it come never. Let the delivery truck catch flames or be stolen. “Perfect. Thank you, and congratulations! She’s a real cutie! Bye-bye!” She specifically waved at Dawn with a cute smile, yet Dawn was more than obliged to frown right back at her. And that was that. Just like in her home dimension. Two people with an ire hatred for each other exchanging the stink eye, then be on their way. At least that was universal. “Uh-oh!” But it wasn’t. Of course it couldn’t because that would make too much sense. Dawn didn’t have any sense in a place like this, and thinking she ever had it was just another sign of how badly she was slipping. “Careful, Mommy! I think baby needs a nap when you get home!” Getting in the last word. Of course she had to. The ridiculousness of how petty all these people were! The look in Dawn’s eye showed how ready she was to shout back, and just as she was, Katherine’s hand fell on hers on the bar. “Please...” A tired, disappointed look on Katherine’s face. In close proximity Dawn was the only one party to the expression of sheer grief on the Amazon. “Don’t cause a scene?” Dawn’s body froze up as she quietly sat back down with a soft crinkle. Her? Making a scene? Like she was the problem? Offended didn’t even begin to describe it. But as she was teeming with rage, it made her want to engage so much less. It was a continuous cycle. Yell, scream, then be ignored while the other side complained just as much, then the status quo would remain simply because they were bigger. Every Amazon was just a brick wall. Dawn was partially left to her devices in the car, strapped in the car seat while Katherine unloaded the carriage into the back of the car. They didn’t converse. They didn’t chat. No looks. Nothing. It was becoming a kind of interaction that only happened when it needed to, and it was completely initiated by Katherine. Unloading didn’t take much longer, and after a quick deposit of the carriage nearby Katherine was back in the driver’s seat. It was quiet all the same, but thankfully not from an eerie kind of stance. From Dawn’s perspective, Katherine was quietly browsing her phone before holding it to her ear. “James, hon?” Dawn was going to get permanent creases from all the frowning she was doing. She wanted to shout for the speaker, for inclusion, but she knew that she wouldn’t get it. Sit and suffer. Be seen and not be heard. “Hey honey...you’re on break right now, right? Mhm...” A small sigh left her breath, and Dawn sort of took pride in the belief that she was causing it. “We just got out of the store. We got some basic stuff as well as some furniture. No, it’s being delivered later today… Mhm...yeah, that sounds good. Let’s do that. Oh, and when you’re on your way home, could you get us some melon juice?” Instinctively, Dawn tried leaning forward to hear, but her taut car seat straps snugly kept her in place. “It’s...” Another sniff. “We can talk when you’re home; I don’t wanna wrap you up right now. Talk to you soon, kay? Love you.” When she hung up the phone, there apparently wasn’t anything to fill Dawn on, which she doubted, but didn’t press on. In a way it was a calm, relaxing drive back home, ignoring all the tense emotions laid between the two women. Katherine hoisted her out of the seat once they were in the driveway and carried her up to the front door. It was irritating in itself by how desensitized Dawn was already starting to feel about the notion of being carried in the short time she already had been. Whether she liked it or not, her body was still getting careless and didn’t feel so uncomfortable anymore. Dawn could already hear the barking and scratching on the other side. Waver’s sixth sense, no doubt, like all dogs had. The golden furball was hopping on Katherine’s thighs as he joyfully barked with a wagging tongue and tail. “Easy boy, easy!” Katherine tried to calm the pet down in a giggly voice, but the energy wasn’t all there like it’d been this morning. The dog had relented long enough for Katherine to get inside, setting Dawn on the floor as the dog paced in circles, but delighted to have one of its prey on an even playing field. “Cut...cut it out…!” Dawn tried not to smile, trying to push away the giant dog as it licked her face. In the corner of her eye she did catch a faint smile from the corner of Katherine’s mouth. Nope. That was enough to kill her emotions completely. Dawn forced her smile away and looked up at Katherine expectantly. “Take this thing off of me.” Like she was still watching the phantom image of Dawn playing with the dog, she finally refocused. “Take...what? Your diaper? Did you wet it already?” That was a question with some whiplash. “What? No? Why would I? I played your game. I didn’t make a scene at the store. Now take this diaper off me.” Dawn stood firm. “You’ll get a new one when you need changing.” Katherine explained like it was two plus two. Dawn came back with one minus one. “I’m not being changed at all. I’m taking the diaper off then putting nothing else back on.” “And we already discussed that it’s inappropriate to walk around naked.” “Then I’ll wear pants! Why didn’t we go buy any panties?!” If there was one thing Dawn knew how to give Katherine, it was stress. “Because LPS would not approve. And you just finished messing yours in the store? Wouldn’t you rather have a wet diaper than have an accident in your pants?” Flabbergasted. Dawn’s mouth hung agape for just a second. “I...I don’t have accidents…! I use the toilet! It was that chocolate, I’m telling you!” “Chocolate like every other food makes us need to use the bathroom, Dawn...” Katherine explained with a sigh, missing Dawn’s point entirely by opting for the objective truth. “Yes, but I mean that chocolate was drugged or something! It was...I don’t know...a laxative? Either way, it’s not fair! I don’t need diapers!” Was all her credibility gone now? Was that all it took? One dirty trick from a stranger to tarnish her reputation with non-disposable underwear for good? “You’re fine, Dawn,” Katherine decided for her, “now can you please come over here? I want to take the tag off your pants.” Fuming, Dawn did come over then turned her back. She felt the strong tug on her pants that snapped the plastic strings that tied the shopping tag to the clothes. “Okay...all set.” Katherine stood back up. “I’m going to bring in everything we bought, okay? Can you stay here and be good?” “Can you take my diaper off?” Dawn frowned up at her. Katherine sharply exhaled. “Fine then. Don’t be.” And without another word she walked back outside to the driveway, leaving the door half open. Honestly, why ask stupid questions if you don’t want stupid answers? Dawn turned the other way, watching the dog, Waver expectantly paced in circles with his eyes on her the entire time. Looking around, she saw a wicker basket by the door and behind the couch filled with undeniably dog toys. Picking out something that resembled a tennis ball, she held it out to the dog. Waver perked up immediately, freezing in place with tensed muscles. The hunter’s stance. He was ready. “Fine...” Dawn smiled a tiny bit. “Fetch.” She said right before chucking it with reckless abandon into the kitchen. Immediately the dog scampered after it, scraping the kitchen floor with his nails all the way. While she waited she looked back at the doorway. It was open for Katherine to get in and out… She peered her head out into the driveway. By the car Katherine was busy with half her head stuck inside, moving things around, getting bags closer to the front. Distracting work. Directly outside was the front lawn, and in front of that was a sidewalk. Down the suburban neighborhood it went. Down somewhere. Somewhere that wasn’t here. As if to test for an invisible alarm, she stepped onto the metal doorframe. Nothing yet, other than her naked feet feeling all the individual grooves of the frame. She took another step out onto the cement landing right before the steps. Nothing either. Another step and another, she’d descended one of the steps. Another and another...and another, and she was on the lawn now. Looking over, Katherine was still busy getting things in order. It was a calm decision, of all things. No hastiness, no panicked heartbeat or pumping adrenaline. Maybe a calm walk or mild jog, Dawn made the conscious and casual choice to make her way across the lawn, away from the house and onto the sidewalk. Then she started moving. Down she went and away. Was it really this easy? She tried not to laugh. All those tears, frustration and anger felt almost silly with how simple it was for her to just walk out like that. She was free. Sort of. This was the start. She continued her small jog down the sidewalk, finally reaching a point where the house was out of view. Success! Though every step was unfortunately not a full one. Part of her hips would swing with her step, courtesy of the bulky diaper between her legs, and not to mention the dreaded sound it made. The asphalt sidewalk was rough on her feet, but it hardly mattered when it was the price for freedom. Now what? She’d need to get to the Portal Station, somehow. She’d figure it out one way or another. Sneak inside, slip through a portal, then she was home. Such few steps in her mind which is why it felt so easy. So tangible. Much easier than whatever fake jargon James and Katherine were lying to her about. And as she walked, she finally came across someone. In front of another suburban home was a lawn filled with flower beds. Bright and colorful, some were tall and distracting. She could hear laughing and giggling getting louder as a sudden face emerged from the greenery and colors. Dawn came face to face with a young man. Well built, mid twenties with a sharp jawline. But what wasn’t handsome, sharp and angular was his crotch. Round and expanded, rather, hiding behind the shortalls he was dressed in. They both shared a look of surprise as they stared at one another. “Uhm...hey there...” Dawn quietly waved, feeling as awkward and unnerved as ever. Another “Little”, looking like as much of a captive as Dawn did, except was that his laughing voice just now? He was having “fun”? “Uhm...hi...” He had a deep pitch to his voice, but it sounded lighter than it should have. More innocent, fluffy. “What are you doing here?” “Looking for a Portal Station,” Dawn said, reminding herself that he was definitely not a tourist. “Do you know where the nearest one is? I need to get home, please.” On the other hand she was relieved to finally be speaking with a non-giant. “Uh...” He innocently turned his whole head back over his shoulder, then back. “I can ask my mommy?” He offered with a lot less volume control for his voice. Mommy. She shuddered at the word. It didn’t take much more to figure something out. He wasn’t right in the head. Not like he should be. “N...nevermind...” Dawn knew this wouldn’t go anywhere but bad and fast. Come to think of it, if Littles were treated as much like children as she thought they were, no parenting Amazon in their right mind would let their Little out unsupervised. Shit. She needed to go. Dawn tried briskly walking away as if to insinuate nothing was wrong, but she could hear the loud man-child shout from his lungs, “HEY MOMMMY? WHAT’SA PORTAL STATION AND WHERE IS IT?!” Forget how her feet felt, Dawn went back to jogging. The turn of the block was coming just up, actually. Yes! Progress! “Whoa there, munchkin!” And failure. Dawn shrieked with horror as she was swooped up into the air against her will, then came face to face with a rosy-cheeked plump woman in a baseball cap. “What are you doing out here all on your own, huh?” She looked past Dawn both ways down the sidewalk. “Are you walking with your mommy or daddy?” Dawn followed her eyes that moved down to her bare feet. “Uh-oh, somebody on a little adventure?” “I’m trying to get home.” Dawn seethed. “Now please, put me down so I can get to a Portal Station!” “A portal station?” The Amazon raised her eyebrow. “Sweetheart, I don’t think you have any business with a grown-up place like that…--” “Mommy?” The same man from earlier was now tugging at the Amazon’s pants. Both females looked down at him. “What’s a Portal Station?” “A place where grown-ups use to do business, honey.” She placatingly answered before giving her perplexed look back to Dawn. “Honey, do you have a name? What are you doing out here by yourself?” “Dawn.” She begrudgingly replied. “Look, I wasn’t bothering you, so could you please stop bothering me? This doesn’t concern you!” She did her best to wriggle, but she, like all other giants, had an iron grip. “I think it does if I see a lost, barefoot Little walking around by herself?” The Amazon countered, shifting her hold so now Dawn was against her hip. The perfect posture for the stranger to pull out the back of her diaper. “H-hey!” Dawn shouted with a blush. “Don’t worry, you’re still dry,” She smiled, like she knew what Dawn’s concern actually was. “Now Dawn, this is my little boy Tommy. Tommy, can you say ‘hi’ to Dawn?” “Hi...” He waved, suddenly with a shy voice as he half-hid behind the Amazon’s leg. “No need to be shy, sweetie, she’s just a baby like you!” She cooed down at the manchild while Dawn gave the side of her head a disgusted look. “Put me down.” She tried to sound authoritative, but it did so little to someone who just checked her diaper. “Do you know your Mommy or Daddy’s name, sweetheart?” The Amazon asked, outright ignoring her. “Yeah, first name Fuck, last name You.” She frowned with rock-bottom levels of patience. “Excuse me?” The Amazon’s face that wore a creeping mask of superficial pleasantries shifted into a stern frown, like she caught a young child saying a...bad word. Not a very flowery comparison. All it took was the frown though. The stern voice with her dominating size. Whatever high Dawn was feeling from dealing with Katherine, a familiar Amazon all day, all her gusto seemed to wash away with just a single look. A phantom fear suddenly flashed her torment in that bathroom. The overly-sized curly-haired woman as she stripped her, setting her out for straight ruin… “K...Katherine...” Dawn spoke truthfully, yet with a numb tongue. Escape wasn’t impossible, probably...but she just needed to be set down. Play nice, get her trust… “Well, Dawn, once we find your Mommy we’re going to find just how much trouble you’re in for being out here on your own and saying bad words.” “Mommy? What’s ‘fuck’?” The Amazon’s eyes widened with shock and disbelief, gasping in horror. Dawn, in spite of the fear, uncertainty and worry, spat a small amount of air. “P--pff...” A devious grin started creeping on her face, just long enough for the woman holding her to notice. Now she looked angry, yet could be sweet as sugar to the enslaved and broken man innocently tugging at the leg of her pants. “Tommy! Never say that word again, okay? It’s a word grown-ups use when they’re very angry, and babies are not allowed to say it.” With her closing remark, she gave Dawn an angry look. Good. It felt good. “Oh...” The Little pondered what should have been a basic explanation, yet you could see the gears in his head turning unnervingly slow for how they should be for a normal person his age. “So how come she said it?” He even pointed his finger at Dawn, in case anyone forgot who the offender was. “Because she’s a very naughty girl who is about to get a spanking.” She said plain as day which robbed the rest of the air from Dawn’s lungs. A...spanking? Was she serious? She couldn’t do that, right? She was a complete stranger! “DAWN!” A loud voice shouted from a distance. All three turned their heads to an Amazon nearly sprinting down the sidewalk, fast and with purpose, eyes filled with tears. “Dawn! Dawn!” Katherine nearly collided with the other woman just in trying to stop herself. Without hesitation she plucked Dawn from the woman’s arms, hugging her tightly to the point Dawn almost thought she was about to break a bone from the pressure. “Dawn!” Katherine heaved, sniffling and gasping for air. “What...what were you doing?! You don’t ever run away like that, do you hear me?!” She sobbed and didn’t hold Dawn any less tight. And so, the jig was up… Dawn sat there in her arms, emotionless and without response, feeling fully and completely defeated. There wouldn’t be a second chance like this. Not by a long shot. Pressing Dawn’s head against her chest, Katherine with streaks of tears in her eyes profusely spoke with raw, pained emotion. “Th-thank you. Thank you so much for finding her!” She cried out to the other woman. “I’m glad my little one Tommy spotted her when he did! I knew something was wrong when I saw a barefoot Little walking around all by herself.” “I helped!” Tommy so proudly declared...already after his merits had been stated for him. “Th...” She paused with each and every sniffle or hiccup. “Thank you, honey...” She smiled down at the Little. Suddenly Dawn was pulled away, now face to face with the tearful Amazon looking anything but cheery. Well crap. Dawn slowly started to turn her head away. It was hard to look at her for some reason… “Why did you leave like that?” Katherine cried as she asked, but the anger couldn’t be misplaced. “Don’t you know how dangerous it is?! You can’t ever go out walking by yourself! What if somebody took you?!” And take her off to a better life? Dawn practically rolled her eyes. She didn’t answer, and Katherine didn’t wait for long before going back into a hug, squeezing the life out of her. And from the gap between Dawn’s ear and Katherine’s chest, it heard, “I’m sorry about her...” Apologizing for her? For what, walking around like the independent adult she was? Sorry for legitimizing her age by accidentally letting her do something that she’s more than capable of?! “New Mama, I take it?” The woman from Dawn’s perspective sounded like all smiles again. Naturally. She sounded like her face was made of layers, all a different emotion she could portray as needed. All fake, hiding a gross, annoying know-it-all Amazon. God, she was even starting to become more and more opinionated now… “Yes...very new...” Katherine was still wiping tears, but Dawn as her security blanket continued to calm her down. “Thank you, again. So, so, so much…! I-I was just unloading the car from shopping and I left her inside. I kept the front door open so I could bring everything in. I didn’t see her anywhere when I went inside, and...” Her voice trailed the more she sounded like she wanted to recount the memory less and less. Did she really care that much? Could Dawn make her that panicked and frazzled? By just going out on her own? Apparently an entire week of being in a tour group counted for nothing… Dawn tried to push against Katherine for space, yet her hold was firm. Rock solid. Dawn wasn’t going anywhere. The other Amazon nodded with a loud noise of understanding. “Yep, I had a few close calls with my Tommy here when I first adopted him. You leave the backyard gate open one time when he’s playing on his swing set and the next he thinks of himself as an explorer...” “I am an explorer!” Tommy annoyedly whined from his “mommy’s” leg. She knelt down to pat his head. “Yes you are, sweetie, but only where I can see you!” Then stood back up, sighing with reminiscent relief. “Thank goodness for adoption chips… At least that way these tykes can’t get far…!” Chip? The hell? What was she talking about? Dawn spun her head to look at Tommy. Was...was there a chip on him? Did it make him act like a kid? Whatever it was, it wasn’t right. Inhumane, whatever the fuck she was talking about. “Right...” Katherine nodded her head, yet the woman continued. “My name is Vanessa, by the way,” She held out a hand, which Katherine shook. “And assuming she was telling the truth,” because Dawn apparently no longer had any credibility, “you must be Katherine?” “Yes, that’s right.” “Well, Katherine, it definitely seems like you might have a handful to deal with. A bit of a potty mouth too, unfortunately.” “She didn’t...” Oh yes she did, and more than that, the shock, the disappointment in Katherine’s voice, could it have felt any more out of place? She sounded so possessive, controlling, like Dawn’s actions somehow reflected Katherine’s reputation. They weren’t connected no matter what anyone said! Vanessa solemnly nodded, like she was disclosing she had an incurable disease. “She used the F-U-C-K word with me, and unfortunately Tommy overheard...” “Dawn!” Katherine’s voice turned from worry to shock as the spotlight shifted. “She wouldn’t put me down.” Dawn plainly replied. She didn’t even know why she was giving a reason. It never mattered. Might means right, and the rest is history. Before Katherine’s words could come to light, “If I could make a suggestion?” Vanessa spoke up, “Whenever my son needs a little discipline on how we use our words, soap does the trick when you need to wash those dirty words out of their mouths. Walking off on their own definitely calls for a spanking. They need to know that their actions have consequences to keep them from repeating, Katherine.” Dawn couldn’t want to leave any more. The Portal Station was a bust, but now she really did want to go back to the house. That hadn’t changed. And more importantly, her mouth had already been soaped once by an egotistical Amazon bitch.. No fucking way it would happen again. “Thank you for the advice,” Katherine smiled. “I...I’m sorry, I think I need to bring her back home before she gets herself into any more trouble...Vanessa? Thank you so much. If you wouldn’t mind, could we exchange numbers? It definitely will not, but in case something like this ever happens again...” “Nope, no need to explain. I understand completely.” Vanessa smiled while she produced a phone. “Littles need a lot of love, but they also need discipline just as much to show how much we love them even more.” She nodded like it was some cultic mantra. Secure in Katherine’s arms, they finally made the dreaded walk back home. “Why...” Dawn could feel Katherine’s body shaking. “Why did you do that? Why did you run away?” Her voice trembled and sounded afraid. She didn’t exactly feel a reason to lie, but she already knew what was about to be thrown at her. If she could already predict the outcome though, maybe it did say something about her actions. Not that she’d ever admit to it. “...I was going to go to the Portal Station on my own.” “On your own?! By yourself?!” Shock, surprise, and disbelief somehow hit her tone all at once. “Dawn...don’t you know how far away that is?” “No.” Not like it mattered. Not like anyone would tell her. Something worth doing was obviously a challenge, and getting to her actual home was certainly just that. “Th-that’s...” Katherine tried to find her words, spacing her thoughts with upset and angry puffs of air. “You can’t be by yourself without an Amazon that you know you can trust.” Whoa there. Dawn glared at her. “Yeah, and I don’t need an Amazon to walk me around. I’m perfectly fine.” “No, you’re not.” Her words cut her in an odd way. “It doesn’t matter how old or how independent you think you are. When you’re outside, you’re either with me, James, or someone else that we trust. Understood?” “Yeah. Whatever. I trust myself.” It was hardly an agreement, which is why Katherine only sobbed more. “I...I only want what’s best for you! Why do you have to fight me over every little thing?! Do you really hate me that much? That you’re willing to put yourself in danger if it means disobeying me?” “...Yeah, actually.” Dawn supposed with a look of eureka on her face. “Yeah!” She started laughing while Katherine looked down on her with silent shock. “I hate you so much, Katherine, and I hate James too! I fucking refuse to go along with your stupid games. I won’t validate whatever baby fantasies you both have. I’m an adult and nothing will change that. I don’t wear diapers, I don’t wear stupid baby clothes. I don’t use a crib, I’m not a kid, and I KNOW HOW TO WALK ON MY OWN!” The walk back home was much shorter than Dawn expected, only because she wasn’t making the comparison of her own two legs and Katherine’s. Surprisingly the front door was still wide open. Katherine truly must have come running. That being said, Waver, sat on the cement steps obediently and expectantly. As soon as he saw them both, he loudly barked with a wagging tail. Katherine without a word stepped inside, waiting for Waver to follow in before shutting the door, then locking it. Of course it was good practice, but naturally Dawn couldn’t help but feel it was personal. Gee, wonder why. Before Dawn could be set down, Katherine kept walking upstairs with her and into the empty room she was staying in, save for the pile of bedding on the floor. As angry, upset, and scared as Katherine was, she set Dawn on the floor with the same gentle touch she always had. “Let’s...let’s both cool off for a bit...” Defeat felt in the air by both parties, her voice was thick and tired. The look on Katherine’s face seemed like she wanted nothing more than this day to end. Oddly enough, Dawn felt somewhat good about it. Maybe she really did get the message across. Welcome to her world. “...Call me if you need anything...” Katherine turned her back and started closing the door, ushering Waver out with her. And just before the door fully closed, it stopped right on the frame with a small crack. She was leaving a small bit, just to check on Dawn, obviously. This was Dawn’s thought process. Again, treating her like a child. Saying she couldn’t go where she wanted without supervision, thinking she needs diapers… Angrily, she stomped over to the door, trying to slam it shut as best as she could, but the best she could muster was a hard press by leaning her body against it. Either way, she’d done what she set out to do by closing the door. Alone. Finally. Turning back to the empty and destitute space, the tiny world was her oyster. Finally! Like what she wanted this morning, she was finally back in this dreary room. Filled with nothing, just the way she wanted it. All the time in the world to burn away by just sleeping and lounging. She didn’t have to face anything now. Nothing at all! Victory at last, at such a small cost, Dawn happily leapt onto the bed. And despite the ear-violating crinkle from her underwear, things felt nice. She rolled and rolled, tossed and turned. Dozed off then and there. After some time, there was a knock on the door. Dawn didn’t bother to answer, and neither did they bother to wait for one. “Did you want lunch…?” Katherine poked her head in. No rosy look or happy smile either. “Nope. Now go away.” Dawn’s chin was resting on the pillow, pointed away from the door. “I...I can order us something? We can get anything you want?” She tried once more. The more the day wore on, Dawn was recognizing more and more the constant, desperate attempts from this woman to form some kind of connection. And naturally, Dawn burned every bridge she tried to build, even if takeout sounded good. “Don’t care. Don’t want anything.” “...Okay.” The door closed. More tossing and turning, spiced up by a bit of rolling. A little bit later there was another knock on the door, but it opened not long after. “I know you said you weren’t hungry, but I made you something just in case...” “Don’t want it. Take it back.” “...I’ll come back in a little bit and take what’s left.” The door closed. Dawn didn’t bother turning her head for a few more minutes, but finally, begrudgingly, she did. On the floor was an Amazon-sized plate with a deceptively small amount of food on it. What was deceptive was relative sizes making it look small at first. When Dawn approached the sandwich it came into full view as just a normal sized sandwich. Dawn-sized. Expecting something like drugs or a smashed up pill, Dawn lifted the corner of the bread like she was defusing a bomb. A yellow substance coated between what she figured was cheese and the bread. Some sort of cut of deli meat in between...A vegetable? It sort of looked like a radish… Then she remembered her strike, dropping the corner of the sandwich before walking away. But it was too late, the seed had been sewn. This morning’s lack of food was catching up to her as her stomach suddenly decided to grow and become a drama queen only when there was food in the room. “One...” She muttered to herself bitterly. Walking back over to the plate, she carried it with both hands to the makeshift bed so she could sit down. For it to be Little sized, that meant working with Amazon proportions to start and shaving from there. The sandwich was a perfect square, sharp on the edges from where a knife likely cut off the crusts and then some. Slowly, she took a bite out of the corner. Well crap. She nearly wanted to spit it out, she wanted to reject it so badly. It was good. Starvation had a way of making even the most disgusting things look tasty, and this was sort of like that. Not because it looked bad, but because it was seemingly mundane and ordinary, yet read to her stomach as divine for simply being the first food it had experienced in a while. One bite became two, then three...four...to eventually crumbs on a plate. Too late to spit it back on the plate now. She’d given into her urges and ate the whole thing. Dusting her hands off over the plate, she carried it back over to the floor and set it down, not once trying to consider who made it for her. Now she was thirsty, but she wasn’t about to go making any complaints about that. And when in doubt whether she was thirsty or hungry, surely she could fill her belly from sleep. Laying back down, after a truthfully long and tiring day, she embraced the silence with her head against the pillow, blissfully slumbering away. When she woke up undisturbed, the door was left partly open. Very much not closed the way she left it. The plate was gone and no one was standing in the doorway Finally bored with her life left in a single room, Dawn walked into the hall and over to the stairs, sliding down each step, trying not to notice the crinkle with each time she sat on the steps. The first thing she heard were voices from the kitchen. Sounded like James was home. And also she looked over at the door, seeing a few large boxes with packaging. Then on the corner of one she could see a design in black ink. A crib… More importantly though, she went back to eavesdropping. Katherine sounded inconsolable, crying even more than Dawn had heard her today. “I...I don’t get it…! What did we do wrong? …I love her so much, James! I just want more than anything for her to like us! I…I even yelled at her today! It hurts...it hurts so much!” “Was she like this all day?” James sounded like he was standing over her. Dawn could imagine Katherine slumped over the island while James rubbed her back. “Y-yes…! First it was after the LPS worker left and I tried calling you, then it was after I let her come out from the corner… She knew that we were interested in adopting her. Did you tell her?” “...I did, when I brought her to the hotel, thinking that was it.” She sniffled and blew her nose. “That’s fine...I’m glad she knows; I don’t want to keep that from her. But...she wasn’t happy. She hates me, James. She hates us. She was grumpy all day, pretending like I didn’t even exist! She wouldn’t talk to me, she barely seemed to care about whatever I bought for her. Ugh…!” Apparently with her other half in the scene, she felt the ability to truly pour herself out. Something she couldn’t do just with Dawn around. And oddly enough, Dawn was angry out of jealousy. Katherine got the support system to bawl her eyes out to someone that would unconditionally understand her. Where was that for Dawn? She couldn’t just fucking phone up her boyfriend from another dimension to rant about a bunch of giants treating her like a baby! “It’s gonna be okay, Kat...” “Is...is it? When we got home...I made a mistake.” A mistake for letting Dawn think she had freedom. “I left Dawn inside while I went to go unpack the car. I left the door open so I could get back inside, but she used that to run outside when I didn’t notice. I got lucky, James…! I only found her because I guessed which way she ran! A neighbor found her and stopped her, but what if they didn’t? What if somebody took her James…!” Her voice only reached higher pitches as she continued to cry. “She ran outside on her own?” James asked with surprise. To Dawn, there being any shock factor to that felt ridiculous. “Yes… What...what if someone reported that? What if they saw us? If-if they knew we let her get out on her own--if LPS knew we let her run away…!” “Okay, okay, Kat, honey, calm down, okay?” It sounded like he was getting physical, because Katherine only started sounding worse. Even Dawn, around the corner, was starting to feel weird. “She hates me so much…! I want to mean the world to her, but everything I do gets no appreciation, no thanks, and it leaves me feeling like dirt!” “It’s...I’m sure she’s trying to work through her own issues right now, too...She’s just not as good as dealing with them.” Right, of course. Dawn was the problem. Always the Little, never the Amazon. “But I wouldn’t know that...” Katherine dejectedly spoke. “I don’t know anything about her...She won’t talk to me. She barely asks for anything and I always have to guess what she wants or how she’s feeling, but she doesn’t show any emotion. She always gives me that look! Like she can’t be bothered with me in the slightest! I love her so much, James, and I’m not giving up, but I never thought a single day would be so hard…!” Dawn kept listening in, James walked around in the kitchen, long enough for Dawn to not notice the difference when he was suddenly peering around the doorway, looking right down at her. Like he knew she was there the whole time. Dawn looked up at him with a frown. “Hey.” “In the kitchen.” His voice was immovable. Angry. Yep. He sounded angry. “Now.” Katherine watched James escort the prisoner inside, holding a hand over her mouth while she cried, then turned back away. For an Amazon, Katherine was an awfully sobbing mess… “Would you rather be sitting or standing?” James asked Dawn. “Don’t care.” “That wasn’t an answer.” He sounded far more impatient. Understandably. Dawn just finished her day making an absolute mockery of his wife. “Sitting or standing?” “...Standing.” “Then you can stay right there.” He crossed his arms. “Do you want to tell me what happened today?” “Sounds like your wife gave you the gist...” Dawn deflected, truly believing her side of anything didn’t actually matter. “So you’ve been a brat the whole day and went as far as to run away on your own?” Dawn pursed her lips, trying to maintain a ‘don’t care’ kind of front. “...Yep.” “Do you have ANY idea how much trouble you’ve caused today? Any at all?!” Dawn balled her fists, finding the vocal anger in herself. “Do you know how much shit I’ve--” “Language.” James sternly reprimanded. Dawn’s muscles tensed even more as she bared her teeth. “AGGGHHHH! FUCK! SHIT! ASS! DICK! FUCK-FUCK-FUCKITY-FUCK. FUCKING COCKSUCKER! There! Language! How’s that for you! You fucking stupid--” A yelp was all she made the moment she was off the ground. James’ rock-iron grip with his arm around her had her flailing and kicking. “PUT ME DOWN! PUT ME DOWN YOU PIECE OF SHIT!” “No, absolutely not.” His voice was teeming with anger, and Katherine worriedly followed them to the bathroom. Dawn had never seen their bathroom before. She would have liked to say it was nice, but frankly was too busy with what was apparently about to happen. With a strong slam he opened the shower door, and to Dawn’s absolute horror she saw him reach for a bar of soap. “No, no...OKAY, FINE! I’M SORRY! I WON’T SWEAR ANYMORE!” All it took was the look of soap to put her on edge. “You won’t after we wash out that filthy mouth of yours. Where did you learn that it was okay to say stuff like that? Especially to the people that are trying to care for you? Is this how you thank us, for everything that we do?” “J-James...” Katherine with meek worry tried to talk from the doorway. “Kath,” James started as he turned on the faucet. Dawn with whimpering horror saw him begin to wet the soap. “I think we’re all having a rough time, but that doesn’t mean we get to do whatever we want because of it. We’re watching over Dawn, and that means it’s our job to watch her properly.” He looked down at Dawn. “I also heard you were swearing at one of our neighbors today. Is that true?” A whole other moment of frustration. Enough to make her burn right back into a rage. “You’re fucking right I--” She tried to say, but a chunk of soap was lathering the inside of her mouth. Just as she spit it out coughing, James caught it right back in his hand. “Wh-what the fuck?!” Back right in the soap went. “Until you’re done talking like you’re a sailor, we’re going to keep doing this. Until the entire bar of soap is gone, if that’s what it takes.” “LEAVE ME ALONE!” She cried after spitting out the soap, still with a mouth full of that metallic taste. “I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE! LET ME GET KIDNAPPED! LET SOMEBODY TAKE ME! ANYWHERE THAT DOESN’T HAVE YOU TWO TERRIBLE PE--” Apparently it wasn’t just swear words that irked him. Anything bad at all, even. “And we have ways of talking about the things we don’t like, either.” James angrily scolded. “You’ve had a field day it sounds like with all the trouble you’ve caused. A timeout should have been where all this attitude ended, but you’ve proven yourself to need even more punishment.” The dynamic like that went on for a bit longer. Katherine quietly watched from the door while James continued the wash-rinse-repeat of soaping her mouth, interrogating, then soaping again the moment she said something out of line. Somewhere along the way Dawn could hear the jingle of Waver’s tags on his collar while Katherine quietly tried to shush the dog and move him along. Because it was an animal spectator that of course embarrassed Dawn. Stacy’s encounter was bad, demoralizing and horrid. This wasn’t the same, but had its own level of badness. Needless to say, with each taste of soap Dawn was feeling less and less to the idea of saying something objectively bad… As she spit out the last of the suds, she coughed with tears rolling down her cheeks. “F-fine...” She whimpered in a croaking voice. “Are you finally ready to speak appropriately?” “Y-yes...” Whether he believed her or not, the sink finally turned off. James put half a bar of soap back in the shower before carrying her back into the kitchen. “Now we’re going to try this again. Without the attitude.” James’ stern look was unyielding. “What happened today?” “Everything happened...” Dawn bitterly replied, already flinching from the way James moved. “I...everything...Everything! I was treated like a baby the entire day! When...when that LPS worker came, and I was treated like a child. She didn’t listen to anything I had to say, and Katherine told me I was just seen as some kidnapped kid! When she called you I wanted to talk too since this is about ME, but she wouldn’t even include me! When I tried to be involved she put me in the corner for NO REASON! I’m tired of being treated like a kid! You both already know that I know you want to adopt me, so it makes sense why you won’t treat me like an adult! You never even wanted to!” “That’s not true!” Katherine finally interrupted, wiping her eyes. “We just want to look out for you!” “By putting me in diapers? Buying me baby clothes? A crib? A car seat?” “Yes, because that’s the best way to care for you.” James included. “And as for your little stunt after getting back home from shopping, what were you thinking?!” “What was I thinking? I was thinking that I wanted to go home!” Dawn cried. “No one felt like taking me to the Portal Station because they were too busy or thought it was a dumb idea. I DON’T CARE IF IT’S DUMB! Even if I don’t have a chance, I can’t just not try! I just lost my entire day to shopping for all the different ways I’m going to be treated like a baby, all the while everyone else got to go back to my actual dimension! Neither of you have ANY idea how that makes me feel! You don’t know how much it hurts! How powerless I feel! I don’t care if I have to break the law! I don’t care if it worries you or Katherine! I’ll do anything to get home! You both are just getting in the way! If you really wanted me to understand and cooperate, you would have humored me. You would have shown me what an idiot I was for thinking there was a chance! You’d have taken me just to prove what an idiotic idea it was. At least let me see for my own eyes that my group finally left. I just wanted closure! Some final proof so I know that I really do have to go through the long haul! Don’t just push me along and tell me how it is! TREAT ME LIKE A PERSON!” Her whole body was shaking and her head felt like it was on fire. Tears rolled down her cheeks like streams, all the while James' expression hardly looked any different, while Katherine sat again at the island, quietly crying herself. So much her legs wanted to give out; she shouted all the energy out of her body. Yet she tried to stand firm, just to look something more than pitiable. James quietly exhaled. “Thank you for telling us about how you feel. You are right. We can’t fully understand what you’re going through, but that doesn’t change the fact that you can’t take it out on us, no matter what. You could have talked to us this morning much more appropriately about this than how we have to handle this now. None of this is any excuse to treat Katherine like someone less than just because you’re having a bad day.” “A bad day…?” Dawn’s voice cracked at the sound of his words. “My entire life has been ruined, and you call that just a bad day? Where...WHERE DO YOU AND YOUR SHITTY WIFE GET--” She was off the ground faster than she could blink. “J-James!” Katherine raised her voice. Dawn’s mind was in a tizzy as she tried to figure out what was going on. “No. We’re done.” James in one stroke yanked off Dawn’s pants, laying her over his knee. “We have given her multiple chances to talk things through and express her feelings, appropriately and maturely. We do not say bad words when we’re angry; we talk things out when we’re upset.” “Wh-what are you doing?!” Dawn kicked her legs, but she was powerless against the male giant. She looked at Katherine’s expression, stricken with fear. “James, please! She is having a tough time!” “And we aren’t?” In a just as smooth motion, James pulled on the back of Dawn’s diaper and slipped it past her hips and down to her ankles. “Dawn, you need to learn that actions have consequences. We’ve been plenty lenient enough as it is, but I will absolutely NOT tolerate the way you talk about my wife and I. Katherine has been nothing but loving and caring to you, and the way you treat her is unacceptable. If you want to be a brat, you’re going to be disciplined like one.” “Right, because I’m just a stupid kid, right?” Nervousness was thick in Dawn’s throat. She was already on the verge of more tears. “Go ahead, fine! Do your--” There was a crack of thunder outside, and yet somehow it hit Dawn indoors. Her muscles tensed and her back arched inwards, feeling the jolt of electricity run through her. She felt the immediate burn of lightning on her bottom, then she realized it wasn’t lightning. “One.” “James, that’s enough!” Before Dawn could process what’d happened, there was a second crack directly on her behind. A rough and firm palm collided with her backside, slapping skin with skin as the burn only intensified already to an unbearable degree. She whimpered as she grit her teeth, flailing her legs just to find some way to dissipate the heat! “Two. Three more.” Th...three more? Three?! Make that two, as she was spanked once more. It was a whole new surreal feeling. The worst so far had been getting her mouth washed out. But being spanked? It was a whole new terrible feeling. Belittling, humiliating, and excruciatingly painful. “James, please! She’s learned her lesson!” “No she hasn’t. Dawn needs to remember why she needs to behave.” Another crack on her bottom. It felt like she was bleeding, like she was close to dying! Dawn’s body would jolt on its own, but overall she hung there on his knee lifelessly, sobbing from the terrifying pain. She’d never felt something that hurt so much before. She wanted more than anything for it to end! And finally, one last smack that filled the room alongside Dawn’s crying. Dawn from her position watched Katherine standing, hands over her mouth as she couldn’t contain her tears. It was unbelievable. It was no secret to Dawn by just how much of a nuisance she’d been today. How much trouble and turmoil she’d caused, and how much she twisted the knife into Katherine. Truthfully, maybe she wasn’t deserving of it all. But in the moment it felt good. Now? Seeing her weep for Dawn, even while she was punished for the very things she did to her supporter, finally a rottenness was building inside of her. A foul piece of herself she couldn’t ignore, like every slap on her bottom seemed to bring it forth inside of her. It was an ugly mass that was a product of circumstance. When it was finally over, the added insult to injury surely must have been that her diaper was forcefully tugged back on. The pants stayed off though when Katherine swooped her into the air and into a tight hug. “I’m...I’m sorry,” Dawn croaked. It was half true. Katherine’s entire motive was unforgivable, but other things were, as were other things simply nothing wrong. Dawn just wanted to see it that way. She was forcefully nuzzled into the crook of Katherine’s neck, continuing to sob as she shook her head, rocking her torso from side to side. “No, no, Dawn, sweetie, it’s okay, alright? We’re not mad! You’ve just been having a tough day, right? It’s okay now, sweetheart. We forgive you. Everything is gonna be fine now, okay? It’s all better now and we’re on a clean slate.” Dawn looked back over at James who was picking up her pants off the ground. She didn’t see the neutral Amazon she remembered from before. An instinctive fear rose up in her chest now. She knew James had strength, and what terrified her even more was knowing now that he wasn’t afraid to use it. The closest thing to a friend had disappeared entirely. Instinctively, she clutched Katherine a little tighter with an aching feeling by the way her burning bottom throbbed. “You can always express your emotions and how you’re feeling, Dawn,” James started, “But there will be no more being mean to me or Katherine. Do I make myself clear?” With the fear of God put into her, Dawn quietly nodded. James looked as if he was going to say something, but didn’t. “...I’m going to get started on the furniture.” James shifted topics, then excused himself to the living room. Dawn sat there in Katherine’s arms, at a total loss for what happened. Her mind was a mess trying to think of any coherent thoughts. The blistering pain from a spanking she never could have expected was dominating her mind right then. “Does it still hurt…?” Katherine quietly asked. A simple question, yet the mere thought of it finally bridged the feeling on her backside to her emotions. She needed something to grab, and the fabric of Katherine’s sweater was just that. “Y-yeah…!” Dawn sniffled, trying to compose herself, but the pieces kept falling apart. It wasn’t much longer until she was back to wailing, burning her throat from so much noise like her bottom burned right then. That night had become chillingly enlightening.

41 - Eat your Veggies “Hon?” She called from her vanity, fussing just to make sure that every hair fell in line. Anything less than perfection was sure to leave a bad look on the company. Professionals needed to have standards, after all. A male voice carried over from the other end of the quaint apartment. “Yeah?” A gust of breath left her mouth, sending her last few hairs askew yet again. She knew that tone in his voice. The ‘I’m playing games right now but totally listening, but not actually’ voice. Fine. She stood from the bench, deciding to solve whatever was left in her hair in the car. A brisk walk in heels had her peeking her head in the living room shortly enough. And unsurprisingly the TV was in use; broadcasting screams, explosions and gunshots of a much more brutal world. “Is this one that you can pause?” she asked while she watched, hardly understanding a single thing going on. Video games never were her strong suit. She grew up alongside them with her cousins, sure, but it was the kind of media she coexisted with rather than mingled with. Though, she did remember that one about managing a team of cute little monsters to be kind of interesting… “Nope,” her fiance said without turning his head, swiveling away with his thumbs at the sticks on his controller. “But~!” But? His girlfriend watched him do something, which involved a change of pace in the game. It suddenly looked like they were back at some kind of menu. No more flashes and booms; blood and gore. Finally though she earned his attention. “But I can always quit?” he grinned. “I’m that special to you, huh?” she grinned right back. “Of course you are!” he puffed out his chest all manly-like. Then his head scanned her from head to toe. Not only because he was smitten with herself and her looks, but also because, “Ah, need to go out for work?” “Uh-huh,” she spoke with indifference. “It’s important and Ms. Summers isn’t available to do it herself right now.” “Sheil, can’t it wait until the weekday?” Greg sighed not from selfishness, but the upset of having to see his girlfriend take up her own time on a weekend. “She wouldn’t mind it getting done on a Monday, right?” “Maybe,” almost certainly, she could imagine getting it done on a Monday. “But I have to go to her house directly. It’s something she left on her work computer.” Greg finally rose from the couch, sharing the doorway with her as they touched foreheads. “Okay…” And just from his look alone, Sheila knew what he was thinking. “Stop. Don’t think that. Ms. Summers is good to me, Greg. Good to us.” “I know, I know,” he quietly hushed. “Still doesn’t mean I like seeing you have to do this stuff on a weekend?” “It’s because I want to,” Sheila kissed him. Want to, yes, but certainly a soft ‘need to’ as well. Work undone that was sitting around at such an opportune moment was simply irresistible bait to the woman. Leaving an empty chair halfway pushed out from the table, leaving the curtains only partly closed or partly open on a sunny or rainy day. Letting the dishwasher clean all your utensils when you could just do it three times as fast. Yet Greg wasn’t the fiance for nothing, narrowing her thoughts down immediately. “I think it’s because you think you need to.” Sheila pursed her lips, quiet for a moment. “Maybe.” “Just maybe, huh?” he chuckled. “Whatever, I won’t stop you. And yes, your boss does sound like a good person. Just remember that you matter to me too, you know?” “And you matter just as much to me.” Another kiss. “Can you make plans tonight?” Sheila looked hopeful. “I don’t wanna leave you here without anything to do. And maybe if I finish up early I can come and join you?” Greg thought for a minute. “Actually, Kevin and a few others were planning to meet at a bar a little down the street tonight for drinks? We could join them?” Sheila exhaled with a smile. Good. Boyfriend taken care of. “Good. Go join them. Send me the address too. I’ll see if I can make it once I’m done?” “Sounds like a plan!” WOOF! Startled, Sheila looked around in a slight panic, face to face with a panting tongue lazily hanging out of their third roommate’s face. Wagging tail and all. Crouching down, Sheila frowned at the dog. “Look at you!” her voice fell into coos and chuckles. “Woosa cutie scaring me like that? Who? Who?” she ran her hands through his golden fur, taking in all his furry softness before it was time to go. “Baxter should be fine for the night,” Greg took to stroking the dog as well. “Won’t be long.” “I hope not?” Sheila laughed, “unless the plan was to get blackout drunk and make it an overnight stay at the bar?” Baxter barked again. “Shhh!” Sheila playfully stuck a finger up. “Don’t talk like that!” she accused her boyfriend. “He understands more than you think?” Defensively, his hands were raised. “I didn’t say anything! That was you!” Maybe, but Sheila dodged the blame, standing back up. “Okay, sounds like we’ve got a plan?” “That we do!” WOOF! Collectively this time the couple shushed him. It hardly did a thing to damper the pep in his step and the wag in his tail. “Oh–” a thought struck Greg and the smile left his face. “Uhm, one other thing.” A brow was raised. “Yes…?” “You…might be hearing from my mom again tomorrow.” “What?” Sheila gasped tiredly and Greg tried not to flinch. “Again? We just talked last week though?” “I know, I know…” he sighed. “She’s just restless, babe. I promise, it’ll stop soon.” “I hope so…” Sheila frowned. She knew it, and Greg knew. They were both okay with it and preferred it. But even so, Sheila still said it aloud. “I don’t want a baby, Greg. I like what we have,” she brushed her hand against their dog. “This is enough.” “And I feel the same way?” Greg spoke like his conviction had been called into question. “My mom wants to be a grandmother, that’s all.” Calling that ‘just it’ was definitely a bit of an underestimation. Parents trying to append “grand” to the title were a scarily driven bunch. Greg’s mom included. Too much hustle and bustle. Not a fan of the high-maintenance with all the non-verbalness. Maybe somedays Ms. Summers was a bit nonverbal herself with her moods, but maybe Sheila accepted it because it was already her job. And, she did like Ms. Summers. Who could like a baby? Maybe if she could skip to the speaking-and-listening phase… There wasn’t a single family gathering or event nowadays that didn’t involve bringing the talk of having kids up. Subtle nods or direct questioning, depending on how much she had to drink that evening. “Maybe we shouldn’t get married,” Sheila openly mused, “just so we can keep using that as an excuse?” “Maybe it would be,” Greg chuckled, “but I think I can take a little harassment from my mom if it means we get to share the same last name?” They touched hands. “Okay, fine,” she grinned from ear to ear. “I think I can too. But anyway, wanna come see me off?” Greg followed her to the door. “Though, it is a little funny, you know?” “What’s funny?” Sheila asked as she slipped on her jacket. “I mean, you work as a secretary now, and as a kid, didn’t you do a lot of looking after your cousins? You dote on Baxter a lot?” “Yeah?” And? “Well, Sheil,” Greg choked down a laugh. “I hate to say it, but I think you’re kind of a natural-born babysitter at heart?” While it was intended to be a ‘gotcha’ kind of moment, Sheila stuck her finger high with a eureka. “Ah! See?” She came in for one last kiss. “Babysitter.” Not a mommy. And with that, she departed for the Summers’ household. “Have…have you had your dinner yet?” Sheila asked out on a limb so strandily and shaky from the original tree of reason; the entire basis for why she was even here. Her heart was beating nervously, questioning her words that came off the cuff as soon as they came to mind. It was so wholly uncharacteristic of her, and yet it was a part that she simply did not want to ignore. “Dinner…?” For once they were on the same wavelength, which was wondering for what reason Sheila was asking something like that. She said it. She actually said it. I just asked that…I just asked my boss’ girlfriend that… “...Right…” Sheila confirmed, though had absolutely zero idea on how to follow up with it. Dinner? Wasn’t Sheila here for files? Emily wanted to express confusion, yet she remained awkward, lest it was something so four-dimensionally obvious that she was somehow the clueless one. So she opted for cautious honesty. “Uhh…no…” Her hand wandered to the cuff of her sagging hood. “Joyce usually cooks, and…I was sleeping before you got here…” She caught her. Red-handed. Sheila had made a gamble and she’d been validated. Justified. Her foot was halfway in the door and the urge to pry it wide open took the momentum. “Lunch? You had lunch, right?” Emily blinked. Lunch too? A slight feeling of unease was sprouting in her stomach. Was this second grade already again so soon? “...I wasn’t all that hungry…?” And why? Why was she answering so honestly? Sheila did Joyce things, not Emily things! She was mere seconds from leaving, and yet the whole situation hit a stunning reverse when an unbroken chain of eye-contact ensued. In that same moment, Emily silently watched Sheila step away from the door. Back inside. “And were you planning on making something?” No? “Yes…?” Was this really her business? “Like what?” Sheila asked. Momentum. A groove. Slowly, carefully, the rhythm was being found. “...” Emily told herself that was going to make herself something, though the same was said right around lunch time as well… She quietly looked over at the entrance to the kitchen, like tonight’s meal had been scribed on a piece of paper for her. What did they even have for food? To make actual food? It’d been so long since Emily made herself anything. As much as a deli meat sandwich maybe, but that’s when Joyce was working. Either that or reheating leftovers. “Emily?” Sheila called. Confidently. Expectantly. “I…a…a sandwich. I’m not that hungry, so…” “You’re not that hungry?” Sheila repeated, lacing her words with a feigned surprise, “Even when you didn’t have lunch?” There was no surprise, just doubt. And in trying to pretend like her face wasn’t feeling warm, Emily’s feet were unconsciously starting to fidget. The cornered girl resorted to her best, strongest and most effective tactic. An unbeatable one, at that. “...I…I don’t know…” Sheila quietly nodded. I won’t be going to the bar tonight. “Can I take a look?” Sheila asked, but her heels were already off and she was stepping back onto the hardwood floor. She was already midway to the kitchen before Emily could stammer something back. “W-wait! I…really, Sheila I’m fine! So…!” What did they even keep in the fridge? Suddenly it was a blur. She looked inside it every day. Hell, she looked in it before her afternoon nap! But the moment she was under a magnifying glass and was dealing with a person she was already wary of, caught in an embarrassing outfit, no less, she could hardly even remember if they kept ice cubes in the freezer. All she knew of right then was what they didn’t have. No ice cream. Bleh. Joyce liked to kid, but she also liked to follow up on her rules. Stupid rules. They rarely froze their meat; Joyce got it fresh when she was ready for it. They had vegetables, but that was it. She didn’t mind stuff like that– Correction, she did mind. A particular prejudice for beets, specifically, but that was a totally separate issue. Back to the thought at hand; what could you do with vegetables alone? A bottle of wine that Joyce liked was in there too? That hardly made for a dinner, though… And as much as Emily wanted to ask why her girlfriend’s secretary was currently snooping through their fridge, she was simply too busy bunching up her footie pajamas trying to muster the courage that could let her actually ask those things. Question the person that Joyce trusted so vehemently. Trusted enough to be their personal diaper procurer. The secretary went straight for the fridge once her feet crossed the threshold. She stopped only for a moment to admire the page torn out of a coloring book. A small smile escaped her once she saw that. Cute. Emily absolutely did this. Sheila’s eyes scanned up and down the tidy and clean interior, looking over the assortment of things to work with. No meat. Vegetables. Wine? Sheila could feel Emily’s presence behind her and the memories of her at a particular hotel one particular night. Definitely no drinks tonight. The fridge was closed and Sheila moved on to the cabinets. “Sh…Sheila? I…I really appreciate it, but I’m all set…” “Didn’t you say Joyce normally cooked for you?” The committed woman asked with her back to the rest of the room. “It’s no trouble, really. I can cook too?” And Emily couldn’t? Well…maybe some questions were better left unanswered. She “cooked” sandwiches confidently. Maybe she wasn’t a cook. An assembler at best. But that wasn’t Sheila’s business, and neither was Emily’s nursery. And yet, while Emily disillusioned herself into thinking there was still a thin veil protecting her and Joyce’s darkest secret, Sheila was busy trying to snip at the last few threads still spacing Emily from the diapers. Busy with that and formulating a dinner. To Sheila, it simply wasn’t her boss’ house anymore. It wasn’t some silly, boring job to go run after some digital files. The clock had been wound back to a high school Friday night. Her aunt and uncle were on date night and her sweet baby cousins had become her responsibility for the night. Pasta…? Sheila held the box of carbs in her hands, contemplating. Spaghetti needed a sauce… “Emily, does Joyce…?” Then she stopped. Would Emily know? “Sorry? What was that?” All Sheila did was smile. “Sorry, nevermind!” One more cupboard later and there was in fact a can of sauce. The silly and ignorant Emily told herself that Sheila was just doing prep to set the girl up for the rest of the night. You know, what a secretary would do. Set up meetings, set up schedules and appointments. Set up the beginnings of dinner… But one pot of heating water later and Emily was having serious doubts. Things had clearly gone beyond what should and should not have been condoned, yet only after the damage had been done was Emily finally finding the will to speak and confront. “Sheila…?” On a dime Sheila’s head was turned. “What’s wrong?” What wrong, hon? Damn! She nearly just said that? Honey? Sweetie…? No, she probably shouldn’t say that, she shouldn’t. She wouldn’t… Was this water boiling already? It was starting to feel a little hot… Emily interrupted the woman’s thoughts. “You don’t have to make me anything… I appreciate it, but I’m all set…really.” And yet Sheila casually shrugged, searching for a can opener. Crap. Sheila had already sunk her fangs into this and her hold was getting stronger by the second. Every moment of uninterrupted authority was another ounce added to a crushing case of justification. Poor Emily simply didn’t have the strength to fight this woman off from her own convictions and conclusions. With a utensil resting in her hand, Sheila looked at the girl from across the kitchen. “I’m here, Emily, I might as well? Besides, you’d get your PJ’s dirty if you tried cooking like that…” And her comment made Emily’s eyes wander down. But finally, something to work with! The moment she opened herself up for an attack, Emily’s heart skipped a beat. The pot calling the kettle black, as they say? It was an off-moment to be feeling it, but maybe a piece of Joyce’s wit had finally rubbed off onto her…! With an inkling of inexplicable trepidation, one adult said to the other, “But…you’re dressed too?” Sheila paused and Emily did her best not to smile. Easy! Victory! Sheila’s empire of logic was failing and everything she assumed and insisted on was now but a fallacy, all because the silly secretary had made the critical error of wearing a formal office jacket to a home visit. She wouldn’t dare risking sauce on her work attire! Why Emily felt an almost competitive nature, or the unspoken idea that she somehow needed to “earn” her freedom or independence from this woman was absolutely beyond her. And yet, if either of them could read each other’s minds, they’d understand quite quickly just how many unspoken assumptions and vulnerable feelings were influencing the other. And while the corners of Emily’s mouth were ready to jump with glee, two cinderblocks of blind ignorance came crashing down on them. “Thank you for reminding me,” Sheila chuckled, making a show of her appreciative smile. Off came the jacket that Emily foolishly thought to be the linchpin that’d do her in, dressing down to just her sweater that certainly could afford a battle scar or two from a war on tomato-saucy terror. She disrobed just as easily as Emily could have changed into something else. Something that Sheila couldn’t have just used the same exact reasoning against. Just like that, the self-invited woman was back to taking charge. Clueless now with what to do, Emily quickly disappeared from the room, phone slipping out of her pajama pocket. Joyce…pick up! “So if you’re not comfortable with it,” Carol steered them up a short set of brick-laid stairs, “There’s nothing wrong with using a fake first name or anything like that, you know?” “There isn’t?” Joyce gave her friend a weird look. “I can’t say I’ve ever gone under an alias or anything before,” she chuckled. Well, maybe a retired chairman on paper, once or twice… Carol shrugged. “I don’t bother with it anymore, but I was a little cautious at first. This sphere of business is a bit more…’underground,’ I guess. You don’t hear much about it publicly for a reason. Just want to be mindful of…you know,” Carol looked her up and down, like Joyce’s fortune was stored in her looks. “Thank you for warning me,” Joyce smiled, reaching the front of the restaurant. It did look busy inside, yet a quite obvious sign still called it out as reserved. This many people came for something like this? But now that they were here and Joyce knew it was real, she was feeling something like the kind of nerves Emily got whenever she was meeting new people. “And…also,” she stole another glance at the people inside. “Should I…erm, prepare myself for anything?” “Pre…pare?” Carol didn’t share the same thought, hence her confusion. Darn. Did she really have to say it? “Like…stuff? People showing things…? Or…wearing stuff?” Stuff that wasn’t normal clothes? Carol’s eyes widened. “Oh!” she laughed aloud, patting Joyce’s just slightly flustered shoulder. “No! No! Not at all, I promise! This is strictly about networking. Nothing like that is allowed here. Definitely not.” More than anything, it was a relief to hear. By now, it was safe to say Joyce was hardly a stranger to the ideas of diapers, bottles, cribs, and playpens. Rather, a beneficiary, even, as long as it somehow involved Emily. That all being said, Joyce in her own estranged bubble that she trapped Emily in with her somehow had virtually no understanding or concept of other kinks or “niche” interests. While it could be argued she was hypocritical or ignorant to have no interest or hold reservations for anything else, that’s simply how it was. But maybe that could stand to change. Inside the restaurant they finally went, shifting from crickets playing under the night sky and to a bustling crowd of appetizers and conversations. Joyce’s eyes immediately wandered to spot the crowd. Size it up. See who she was dealing with. It was a formal kind of event, but not overly formal. Casual, just maybe. Needless to say, her first thought was probably if she brought Emily. Dress her in something that had stripes or a little bit of color. Stripes played up the mood and color magnified her eyes. Anything to bring out a little something in her. “Joyce?” Carol tugged on her arm, ending the daydream. She discreetly pointed nearby. “We need to go sign in.” “Oh, right!” Joyce apologetically chuckled. “Sorry! Just people-watching.” “Sizing everybody up?” Carol asked as they walked up to a receptionist podium. But Joyce didn’t get a chance to answer before a new conversation began. “Hi there!” The man behind the desk gave a small wave before picking up a weighty pen. “Who am I signing in for?” “Carol Baker?” Carol, clearly not adverse to the idea of using her own name, offered. “And this is my plus-one.” Carol then raised her brows, leaning in at the entrepreneur with a grin. “Her name is…?” “Joyce,” Joyce decided, bold and brave enough to wear her wallet on her sleeve rather than hide away. Besides, if there was any merit to this and something did actually go somewhere, moving on from a fake name was certainly an awkward foot to start on. “Last name?” he then asked, and Joyce hesitated. “‘S’,” Carol jumped right in, finishing for her. Apparently it was of no issue, because moments later they both had their own name cards. “Thanks for that…” Joyce muttered, adjusting how the card looked on herself as she walked. “Of course!” Carol chuckled, taking the lead back to the main area. Though, quite not so tactfully she added, “Oh! But, maybe as a thanks, say if…I don’t know…you find something that might be worth investing in?” Dollar signs flashed in her eyes. “Don’t forget about who brought ya here?” Cute. Not quite Emily cute, but cute. Joyce smiled regardless. “Yes, I will most certainly remember…” she chuckled. “So…what’s the best way to do this?” “Well first,” Carol paused as she finally started to survey the crowd herself, “Ah! Let’s go meet him!” Him? After navigating an aisle carved by the backs of people standing in circles and chatty cliques that were forming, Carol tapped on the back of a broad-shouldered individual. Just as he turned, the first person he saw was Joyce, then noticed Carol just a few inches below. “Oh! Carol!” “Logan!” The pair hugged just briefly before separating. “Ah– One second?” he apologized, turning back to his group. “Sorry, I’ll be back later to discuss! I just need to catch up with someone.” Waving as he left, Joyce, Carol and now Logan in accompaniment found an empty booth by the side. “First, this is my friend Joyce,” Carol warmly introduced and Joyce just smiled. “She’s not new to business, but as far as things like what goes on here, that’s a bit different.” Logan nodded as he listened, scratching his black void of close-shaven beard for just a moment. “Uh-huh? Well, first,” Logan stretched his hand across the table, giving Joyce a firm, yet reasonable shake. “Joyce, thank you so much for coming. I know that it can sometimes be a little strange or intimidating attending stuff like this. So first and foremost I want to assure you: it is just business. All talk, nothing else.” “Don’t worry,” Carol cut in, “I made sure to tell her that.” Another trained laugh left Joyce’s mouth, holding a hand to her mouth. “Jeez, you’re making me sound like I’m just in it for the money…!” And everyone laughed, but then an internal panic started to rise. Wait, what if they were just in it for the money…? Did that mean she just outed herself as someone supposedly in it for the kinks, too?! “I–” she stammered, “I mean, I guess I’d be lying if I said that investing wasn’t my main interest…” Logan held out a hand, as if to halt her words of self-doubt. “No, no, really, I understand. Carol’s the same way.” “I am,” Carol gingerly included. “I just don’t want you or anyone new to things like these feeling nervous. Everyone has their reasons for associating with this, just like with anything else. Even if you were here just for the potential profits, which hey– money is money, I completely understand. That being said, any kind of capital to help business or services related to what these circles have an interest in is always welcome.” In other words, not a single investor had to actually like the kink they were helping pay for. Profit was profit and nothing else had to come of it. A truly blind investment, but by no means was it unheard of. After all, Joyce could hardly imagine that every shareholder of a dying movie theater chain believed in the actual product just as much as their primary hope of just turning a personal, baseless and speculative profit. “Well, thank you for assuring me,” Joyce nodded appreciatively, trying not to let her eyes wander. All this red-tape talk was starting to make her admittedly curious. “So…how do I know who…uhm…has an idea?” As far as she could tell, Joyce saw no difference between either the givers or receivers. Her scenes that were few and far between nowadays were the kinds that rented out properties and had designated stands and displays. All she could see here were handshakes and business cards. “I was hoping there’d be some kind of system like that by now…” Carol passively added, implying this apparently wasn’t an unpopular opinion. Logan could only half-grin apologetically. “Okay, I think you might be in the same boat as Carol, here. But, hopefully you might be a bit more receptive than her, Joyce?” “Bold of you to talk about me like I’m not sitting right here?” she frowned at him. Joyce watched with a tinge of amusement. Logan’s face didn’t have much to offer in the give-a-fudge department. “Sorry, Carol! You started it!” “Well,” Carol was scooting her way to the edge of the booth, “I suppose I shall make it so. Joyce, I’m going to get a drink and start meandering, alright? If you spot me, feel free to be my shadow!” “Will do!” Joyce saw her off, now just with Logan. “If you don’t mind me asking, how’d you two meet?” Logan watched his friend disappear before sitting up straight again. “Oh, uhm…through her husband, actually. Nothing big!” Yes, through her husband, which was through their daughter, which was through Emily’s misadventure at the zoo… Not complicated in even the slightest. “Awesome, that’s, er, great,” he suddenly laughed, and Joyce did too. Anything more than that would’ve been forcing the man to make up comments and lies that had no basis about her. Carol was a friend, sure, but Logan’s extent didn’t go a whole lot farther than that. “So…I’m just supposed to socialize?” Joyce tried summarizing, finding the job easy enough, albeit a little aimless. Taking in a breath and finally exhaling with an admission, “Yeah…okay, I know, I get it. First-timers can find it a little hard talking to people, especially about kink stuff.” Kink. The first time Joyce heard that word this entire night. Suddenly it felt real. Suddenly it was more than just indirect references and a nondescript socializing dinner. The dynamics were astronomically different from the norm now. She wasn’t speculating just businesses, but kinks. Weird, wacky and odd kinks. Things people did for sexual pleasure and she was throwing money at it? “Nervous?” Logan smirked, kind enough to get a read of the booth. Joyce’s hands were together, stroking her knuckles. It wasn’t the best look, but without having her girlfriend around and not needing to be unwaveringly brave, her face slumped. “Is it that obvious?” “Eh, a little? Getting through the front door is pretty impressive though.” “How about flying across the country?” “No kidding?” “Yep. Carol and I are from the same state.” “Oh, well, I guess when you put it that way it should’ve been obvious!” he laughed. “But actually, hey?” Logan stood from the booth waiting by the table on his feet. “Since you’ve been so graciously abandoned by your friend, and I have to be a good host, why don’t I get you started with some people?” Joyce nodded, though her tinge of trepidation she forgot to leave with Emily was tingling. “With other investors? Or…” “So another thing,” Logan smiled over the forgotten talking point, “Part of why we don’t have any visual labels is because as much as there are investors and idea-havers here, my hope is to really push forward a collaborative style of relationship.” “Isn’t paying someone to make them more money collaboration enough already?” she chuckled. “Yes, very true. But, stuff like this is usually at least a…” He paused for something eloquent. “-- an inherent passion to the originator? People on some level do care about what they want to produce or do here, Joyce. After all, a passionate project tends to pay!” That it did, and thinking on a cute diaper bum she got to fondle last night, the return on investment didn’t always have to be in cash… “Okay, sure. You win,” Joyce sighed giddily with some wind beneath her sails. “Since Carol ditched me, I think I’ll take you up on introducing me to someone?” And with an exaggerated bow, Logan signaled for her to follow. “It would be my utmost pleasure!” “Emily! It’s ready!” A distant voice called and Emily shuddered from the floor of her room. Same place she was when it was time for the dentist. She was laying against Joyce’s side, fuzzy feet against the bottom of their tall window while she tried to get some kind of response from her girlfriend. Absolutely nothing. What gives? Busy, probably, but that was no excuse for going quiet…! Emily huffed, looking at the doorway. If she was the one not responding, it’d end probably in a legitimate spanking, now that Joyce was apparently into that. But also apparently Emily couldn’t not be into spankings. Well, she could, but that’d probably only make Joyce like it more. Mommies like effective discipline. And right now Joyce was above every law in the universe. The one that included keeping communications. “Emily?” Sheila called again, whisked away by her own mood of giddy fun. Greg had long since been texted that she’d be running late. After all, her work “still needed to be taken care of.” A plate of dinner was awaiting her boss’ special someone and the mood couldn’t have felt better despite her flurry of emotions. Of course Sheila still had her reservations; about what she was doing. And yet, with each little reveal or small mention and mishap at work, they were all little droplets into a big bucket of pent-up frustration. Frustration she didn’t even know she had until tonight. Until she caught little miss Summers in the cutest pajamas she’d ever seen. “C…Coming…!” A faint voice reached her from the other end of the apartment. What was keeping her? Sheila brushed the spoon of a clean ladle resting in her hand. After a few padded shuffles Emily emerged, for some reason half-expecting her highchair to magically be there. Thank goodness it wasn’t, otherwise she’d be having hospital food for the night after her heart attack. It wasn’t Joyce there to receive her, but a close branch that had quite the similar arsenal. The way she stood. The way she smiled. Down to the very way she even had the chair already pulled out for her… Everything now seemed to put the girl on high alert. What’s worse, Emily felt the need to scrutinize anywhere for potentially a baby bottle or a bib. But she knew she was being silly… Sheila may know about the diapers, but that was it. She likely assumed Emily wasn’t wearing them, and she definitely didn’t know about the nursery. She was safe. Protected. Sheila didn’t know. She knew nothing. Nothing but beets. Her hand on the top of the chair held her back the moment she saw it. Staring long and hard at the plate of green spinach leaves, slices of tomato, onion and feta, there and all throughout were monsters from the purple, soily deep all throughout. “Something wrong?” Sheila asked, standing right now to her. She was looking down at her handiwork now. Did it look bad, or something? Putting on her bravest look, Emily sunk into the chair. “N…no…No. It’s nothing…” Despite never having asked for it, Emily smiled somewhat appreciatively. “Thank you for dinner?” The pasta did look good, and had the salad been one specific ingredient short, it would have gone from putrid to perfect. It was gratitude and that’s all Sheila wanted. She smiled cheerily before she walked away. “Of course! You’re very welcome.” It was one trip to the stove and counter later before Sheila was sitting a chair’s width away from her at the table. “Do you mind if I eat with you? I was going to see my fiance after I left, my boyfriend, but he got a little wrapped up in something. I hope you don’t mind me imposing and all like this…” I know what fiance means… “No, that’s fine. Sorry you’re stuck with me and not Joyce?” After all, they actually had a dynamic. Sheila and Emily? There was something, but it certainly wasn’t business. Sheila waved dismissively. “Don’t worry about that. Joyce and I…well,” her eyes wandered above for a second, “She’s my boss, so I don’t like stuff like that so much. Or…I guess it makes me feel a little uncomfortable.” “Keep your distance?” Emily ate a forkful of pasta. She was going to eat a forkful, then Sheila piped up. “Ah-ah! Emily? Uhm, maybe you’d want to take off the pajamas first?” Just as she was starting to forget, her substitute-Joyce had reminded her. “Oh…” And embarrassingly, Emily set her fork down. Standing back up she hovered to the edge of the kitchen. “S-sorry…let me go change real quick…” “Sorry I didn’t think to remind you,” Sheila included apologetically. She’d have to be better about that next time. Next time? A few minutes later Emily had returned in the best adult-looking pants and shirt she could find. Sheila quietly observed with an inexplicable feeling of disappointment, but left it at that. It was almost as if they were equals now. And thankfully for Emily she was feeling some confidence now, having shed her skin and emerged as a blossoming, super-mature butterfly. “Sorry about that… So you were saying? You prefer keeping it work-related around Joyce?” “Uh-huh,” Sheila nodded, taking a bite. “It might sound weird, but I think I just work better when I know what I’m fully dealing with. I know it might be unusual, but I like clearly defined roles?” Ew. Weird. Did Sheila put deja vu in the sauce? But more importantly, no wonder Sheila was held in high regard. She was just like Joyce. “No, I get that,” Emily mumbled partway through a mouthful of food. After swallowing, “So like, it’s tough to be friends with your boss!” “Exactly!” Sheila immediately lit up. “That’s exactly it. I like Joyce and I think she’s a very capable person, and that’s why I want to do whatever I can to help her.” She took a second to quietly observe Emily who glanced down at her food. Helping her boss in any way. Even if it meant holding down the fort at home. “Well, I guess just from when we’ve talked, Joyce does have a lot of nice things to say about you,” Emily added, and tactfully retracted all the sensitive backdoor-bits. “That makes me happy to hear,” Sheila smiled appreciatively. Maybe she really was appreciated if the boss was bragging to her dau– Girlfriend. Sheila’s smile didn’t falter as the mental struggle ensued. The conversation was sobering, enough to help Emily forget whatever weird funk she was feeling since Sheila got here. Enough to make her curious. “Oh!” An eager feeling suddenly hit her. Her leg excitedly swung under the table. “So what’s Joyce like at work?” A very good question indeed. Something she could probably never get straight from the source’s mouth. A working Joyce to Emily was like talking about a unicorn. By big mama’s doctrine, a Joyce away from home simply did not exist. All she got to know was the motherly and girlfriendy one. “At work?” Like always? Sheila pondered, only just remembering how intimate her boss had been with Emily that one night. “Well… She’s definitely passionate about her work. I’ve had a few late nights just trying to get her to leave her office.” A surprised giggle erupted across the table. “What? Really?” Joyce choosing to stay late? Impossible! “That was a little while back though,” Sheila lightly chuckled. A bit before Emily, most likely. “People at the company have a lot of respect for her,” she continued. “Though…” What were the best words to use… The most appropriate ones to use in front of her boss’ number one confidant. “Joyce can be very…strong-willed?” “Right!?” Emily damn well near slapped the table in excitement. A mutual understanding! Sheila looked slightly taken aback, hence Emily quickly simmering herself down. “S-sorry…!” she couldn’t help but giggle. “I just… That’s exactly how Joyce is when she’s home!” Maybe work and home with her were one and the same? Immediately her mind was racing to share an example. And oh so many to choose from! Like…oh! That one time Joyce supervised her the whole time while they cooked? Or…ah! The other times when she forces her to wait in the bathroom until she’s done drying off? Or maybe when she’s fidgeting on the changing table! No scary movies without a diaper on? Well, Emily’s frantic mind paused for that one. Not quite a rule yet. The Supreme Joyce was probably still deliberating on whether that one was constitutional or not. Not quite ratified yet, but Emily had a hopeful hunch. Aside from that one though, so many examples! So…so many…and she couldn’t share any at all… Not one. Sheila raised her brows, waiting for more to follow, but by the look on her face, clearly there was more she did not want to tell. Throwing her a bone, Sheila said, “So you wanted to know what else, right? Mmm… Well, hmm… If I share this, do you promise not to tell her?” Emily blinked. A secret? A secret about Joyce? If it weren’t for the food in her mouth Emily would have been smiling from ear to ear. Forget everything she held against Sheila; this woman was pure gold! Vigorously she nodded. Sheila pursed her lips, choking down an elated feeling just to see the girl so giddy. If only she had the authority to wipe that small smudge of sauce on her mouth…! “Alright… Well, recently, Joyce was having a bit of a…bad day.” The one audience member gasped aloud. “Like she was angry?” Joyce? Angry? She could be slightly cranky or moody, but that was the worst Emily ever got to see! After a momentary thought and a calculated admission, Sheila nodded, “Yes, I guess you could say she was. But, maybe more like upset? Anyway– I usually take down notes for her in meetings that she has to go to. There was a presenter for a product revision and Joyce was being…uncooperative.” It was as clear as day just how many eggshells Sheila was walking on, trained to be obedient even when her boss wasn’t actively around. Yet despite her subtle choice of words and active filtering, Emily could see through all of it and was eating it up so eagerly. As eager as she was to ignore her beet-ridden salad. “And I…” Sheila cracked a sudden grin, trying to hide it with her hand and fork, “I probably shouldn’t, but I guess it was a little funny…” “What? What was?” Emily pestered with a baited breath. “The presenter…Joyce sort of…snapped at him.” “No way!” Emily laughed at the poor unknown employee’s expense, too busy envisioning Joyce in such a hostile manner. The humor only came because it sounded so unlike her and so very much all the same. Maybe the joy though came from getting to hear about Joyce’s wrath and not being on the receiving end of it for once. Luckily for Emily, she wasn’t the one caught lying this time…! And what was never considered in the girl’s fanatical mind was the world of difference that laid in consequences. Joe Schmoe was risking his entire career getting in Joyce’s way. Emily was in danger of thirty minutes with her nose facing the corner. “Sometimes Joyce needs a little bit of talking too…” Sheila quietly laughed. “But ninety-five percent of the time, she’s probably one of the best people you could imagine working with.” “That’s good though,” Emily smiled, stowing away her devilish grin. Oh how much fun it would be to taunt Joyce with all of this. Barring what she was explicitly ordered not to share, of course…! “And also,” Sheila pointed with her fork, “Is something wrong with the salad?” “Hm?” Emily smiled innocently, daring not to look where she pointed. Her plate of pasta was near-finished, and yet her splendid garden of greens right beside it hadn’t been harvested one bit. “Your salad? You haven’t touched it…?” Finally Emily did acknowledge it, dancing her fork around precariously. Carefully. Deliberately. Right until she had just the right serving. Just the right stuff with none of the poison sitting on her plate… Success! Emily popped a forkful of spinach, tomato, feta and onion into her mouth. It was pretty good actually. She smiled, almost forgetting her manners and flashing an empty mouth. “Nothing’s wrong? I just…like eating stuff in order? Kinda weird, but I guess that’s just what I do…?” Good lie, Emily! Actually! “Oh, alright. Sorry about that, I hope I didn’t make that weird?” She hoped she hadn’t, as a fully-stocked adult nursery was still a long ways away from calling anything before that weird. Emily’s head was casually swinging each way. “Not at all!” And just to try and prove it, Emily took another filtered bite from her salad. “So?” her eyes lit up again, “Can you tell me any more stories about Joyce? I wanna know more!” It was another fuzzy tickle in Sheila’s brain, and maybe her heart, but she laughed in tune with the pleasant feeling. “Another one? Okay…let me think…” “Todd, right?” Joyce’s rehearsed smile came out to play, “Thank you for taking a second to chat with me! I’m wishing you the best!” Wishing him the best? For a store that specializes in selling whips and collars? Joyce didn’t get it, but she was coming to respect it. The pair parted ways, each drifting into their own pool of the crowd. Each conversation was enlightening, to say the least. Cages meant for chastity, leatherworks, latex fashion, “rent-a-puppy,” which was most certainly not a puppy, and the like. Ball gag designs like they were fashion statements and phone cases, platform heels so high with stiletto heels so sharp– tall enough to actually make Emily look like a big girl. It was nothing Joyce could have ever imagined as legitimate ideas, and yet she was astonished to see them as plausible, given context and explanation from the “idea-havers,” as Logan put it. It was all with a grain of salt, considering the whole point was to sell yourself and your project, but the bias was lessened if it meant Joyce was actually seeing it herself. Bizarre, sure, but there really was a market for all of this. Markets that weren’t quite speaking to Joyce. She mixed and she mingled, learning quite a bit about the other side of life and what went on behind the public door. Fascinating, yes, but personally interested? Not as much. None of it clicked. None of it had her jumping for joy, pouring out the cash or personally wanting to see any of it come to fruition. She wished them all the best, certainly, but she was indifferent to being a part of any of it. She was a bad liar, saying that it was all about the money. It was, but that in itself was just a pretense. A pretense for what she didn’t even know herself. Something. Something that spoke to her. Her emotions. Without skipping around in figures of speech, Joyce was made of money. She was set for life, and by extension so too was Emily. The only stake she had in a race like this was personal interest. An interest that wasn’t being pegged quite yet. And maybe not at all. And in her thoughts she accidentally touched shoulders with another person. After bumping the bronze shoulder, Joyce apologized on reflex. “Sorry about that! I’m sorry– I’m barely looking where I’m going!” “No-no! Stop!” the stranger laughed back with her black headful of curls bobbing with her chuckle. “Gosh, I’ve gone so many times around this place already, I should have some better awareness!” They both laughed, but they didn’t move on. “I think I may have seen your face around here a few times?” the young woman scrutinized with a playful eye, then looked at her nametag, “Ah! Joyce! Joyce S!” “The one and only,” Joyce smirked, then looked directly across at hers. “Isabelle…Barros?” “So nice to meet you!” Isabelle stuck her hand out and Joyce returned the gesture. “I don’t want to sound too excited, but I really was hoping to get a chance to speak with you?” “Who? Me?” “No,” she commented, pointing her finger somewhere random. “The other Joyce! Yes, you!” Isabelle, clearly in her stride without a drink in her system and simply pure lovability and energy laughed. “You’re not busy, are you? Can I take up some of your time?” Clearly she had no other takers, especially when Joyce was the one approaching people all night. Carol was probably still busy networking as well. Likely laying the groundwork for a small fortune. “Sure?” Joyce shrugged, allowing herself to be led by the shoulder. Not often someone as forward and as tall as her would do that. The best anyone could do to get her to follow was a padded tush leading her by the hand. “Sorry, I hope you don’t mind sitting?” Isabelle apologized, wiping her forehead with a slightly exaggerated sigh. “It feels like I’ve been running in circles all night.” “Oh yeah? Trying to find investors?” And Joyce with her subtle guess figured that she was being pegged as another “customer” right then. “Did I give myself away so soon?” She smirked, then chuckled. She seemed unapologetic, but it wasn’t a turnoff. “But yes,” she admitted with a sigh, yet still looking just as lively as she might have had she not been on an investor’s losing streak all night. “Has anyone brought anything up yet that’s interesting to you?” A sigh of pausing to think weighed over Joyce’s mind. “Well…I guess the one about robotic tails that…uhm…go in the back was interesting…?” Joyce did her best to explain in censored terms, but the look on her face was obvious and Isabelle was already laughing. “So it’s not your cup of tea, I take it? That’s alright. The way Logan puts it, if you’ve met him: it wouldn’t be quite the passion if everyone had such an interest in it?” Already trying to bleach her imagination with other thoughts, Joyce nodded with a chuckle. Now she was about to get it dirty all over again, most likely. “Okay, you have the floor,” or the table, “what are you here to promote?” Isabelle reared her head back with playful offense. “Don’t make me out to be some kind of villain!” “Sorry, sorry,” Joyce chuckled, almost genuinely, “I just don’t want you to have to take up any more time than you need to?” A curious tilt came from the curly-haired head. “Oh? You say that like you already know what I’m going to talk about?” Joyce shrugged, feeling her prospects of the night already dwindling. “True, I don’t, but… Well, nothing I guess has quite piqued my interest here just yet.” “Not even if I wanted to show you my tail?” The comment was brazen and bold, and not but a second later Joyce was blushing uncomfortably. Isabelle was all pearly whites and laughter then. “O-Okay…” Joyce stammered, looking somewhat professional again. “I’m sorry for jumping to conclusions… So what do you have?” “Não-não!” she tutted with energy, stalling precisely because she seemed so in the moment, trying to savor every bit of it. “I’m not as heartless as you might think I am! Tell me first! Why are you here tonight?” “Why am I here?” Since when did a potential investor have to give their life story? But she didn’t object. “I…came because a friend invited me.” “So you came because you were only invited?” “No…well, yes, sort of.” Isabelle nodded, but her curious and discerning look just wouldn’t leave. “So you came to something like this just for a friend?” “...Yes?” She expected it to end at that. However, “I don’t believe you.” “Sorry?” Didn’t believe her? For coming just for a friend? “You have a look, Joyce?” A look? Didn’t everyone have a look? After all, people needed faces, and faces did looking all the time? “I…” and yet she knew exactly what the woman meant. “I don’t know what you mean…?” “That!” she pointed with a noise of joy and Joyce shuffled uncomfortably. “That look! The look when you’re hiding something!” “I don’t have anything to hide…” “You’re right, you don’t? So why don’t you tell me why you’re here?” Was this therapy or a business proposal? Had it been any other person she’d be walking away right now. But she was sitting. Damn, Isabelle was crafty. But in reality, Joyce didn’t know why she was still sitting there. Maybe not to cause a scene? “I’m here to invest…” “Invest in what, though? Not animal tails?” “Yes, not animal tails…” Yet another unpleasant reminder. “Ou– I’m bothering you, I can see that,” Isbaelle apologized, per se, but her face did not falter nor did her determination change. “I’m not trying to be a life coach or anything– I just mean to start off on the right foot?” “Well…” Joyce with nothing but mixed feelings sighed, “it doesn’t seem like it’s going very well…” Yet her less than enthused comment had no effect. “Maybe not?” the stranger admitted, laughing without a care. At this point their small discussion was feeling like an interrogation session. No wonder this woman wasn’t getting any bites, and this shark too had no intentions either. “Can I guess?” “Guess what?” Joyce frowned. “Your thing? Why you’re here?” Thankfully the crowd was noisy enough to mask the small click of her tongue. “I told you, I’m here for a friend–!” “Is it bondage?” Such a daring question which would have had Joyce falling over had she not been sitting. “N-no! What are you talking about? I don’t have a thing for–” “Pets? Do you like big puppies and kitties?” The crease between her brows that sloped up to the ceiling was beginning to form while she tried to look anywhere but the woman’s piercing gaze. “Th-this is ridiculous…” If Joyce could feel this vulnerable and bothered, she could only imagine the puddle of liquid Emily would be under the same kind of duress…! “Oh?” and like she struck gold, “You do? Well, that changes things a bit, but I–” “No!” Joyce stressed in an outburst, enough to actually garner some looks. She didn’t look back, but immediately set her back against the booth seat again, much more quiet now. “I’m not into any of that…” “But something?” “...But nothing.” And it was like her words had no effect. Unless it was the true answer, the one Isabelle somehow knew existed deep down in Joyce’s flustered heart, she was only going to keep digging, and Joyce just kept sitting. Twenty questions somehow ensued. “Roleplay?” “No.” “Another person?” Emily? She knew? “N-no.” “So it is! Then is it–” “N-no! I said it doesn’t!” “But you’re saying it?” And Joyce’s cold sweat only intensified. How to admit to having a fetish without admitting to it… Shit! Isabelle kept on going, on an un-ending, joyful assault. Curiosity fired from her mouth like a relentless lazer and Joyce’s fragile mind was at the seams with trying to protect her most vulnerable secret. “So it does involve someone else…” the interrogator passively mused and Joyce was losing her voice. Then a lightbulb went off. A flash of blinding light that hit before the Brazilian bomb sent her shockwave. “Are you a…domme?” Or maybe not. A total miss. Joyce’s inner monologue sighed with relief. More than happy to answer, with a tinge of confidence she promptly replied, “Nope.” “Oh wait, you’re new to this, aren’t you? A gentle domme?” No sparks were flying yet. “A mommy?” The crowd must have screamed in collective horror. All Joyce could hear was the deafening crash. Shattering glass, crumbling brick and groaning mental infrastructure. Fire alarms were sounding and all she could hear was pure chaos with eyes wide as saucers. Too stunned to move from the shock, her peripherals tried to survey the damage of the restaurant. Yet there wasn’t any. No one was screaming, people were chatting. Windows were whole, lights still worked and there wasn’t a single flame to be seen. No one was the wiser to the absolute mess Joyce was certain she had heard and seen. All for but a flash. All in her mind. Her precious psyche with a hole gaping wide from the fracture this woman had dealt to it. All just to see what was inside. Her teeth were cemented together yet her lip trembled. Barely anything. Joyce had said nearly nothing and it got her like this. To a point like this…! She said nothing in return but she didn’t need to. Her look of embarrassed surprise told more than enough. She waited for the party-like laughter Isabelle had been touting this entire evening to Joyce and likely others. Her relaxed, go-with-the-flow atmosphere washing through Joyce’s confidence and composure like a typhoon. But with her fist left vulnerable on the table, she felt the jolt of electricity once Isabelle touched it. She’d been had. Discovered. Found out. Again. Again and again. Her most important secret that could hardly be kept from anyone…! And in all this time to think to herself, lament and quiver from the reveal; awaiting the ridicule from someone who just simply didn’t understand. Someone who couldn’t even fathom a modicum of how precious it was, how much it mattered. From a know-it-all that just had to–! For the first time that night, an honest voice that wasn’t doped on energy came from Isabelle. “Sorry, I think I overstepped my bounds a little?” No laughing. None? Hurriedly Joyce retracted her hand. She was already looking for a way out. Where was Carol? “Joyce?” Feeling like her heart was going to pop out of her chest, Joyce looked at the woman one more time, regretfully so. And immediately in spite she spoke. “What? Are you happy? You figured it out. Good for you.” “Joyce– No, I’m sorry, I was a little excited… It’s because–” “No.” Finally with enough conscience to leave, Joyce stood from her seat in a moment of confused rage. For a split second she was ready to crumble, had Isabelle been ready to attack. Her loss, now that Joyce’s psyche was intact. Isabelle was standing up in a hurry to catch her, but Joyce was already storming off. She walked with one purpose and one only. Forget waiting for Carol; she was leaving on her own. This was a mistake. A dumb, stupid mistake. What was she thinking? What was she hoping for? Whatever it was, this certainly wasn’t it. All she found was a bunch of weird proposals and a bully to boot. Stupid. So stupid! Isabelle got as far as halfway before the crowd between them simply did not permit. With an angry text rushed with one hand Joyce descended the steps of a place she would never be seeing again. Christ, an entire fucking state she’d pay the pilot just to not fly over. Keeping her words simple and prompt, letting Carol know that she left early, it was a brisk, lonely walk along the brick-laid path as she scheduled some kind of ride back to the hotel. Stupid! So fucking stupid! And before she stuffed her phone back in her handbag, a new horror swept her over a thousand times over from a mere glance at her screen. MISSED CALL: EMILY (4) Multiple missed text messages. Where r u? Pick up!!! need to talk. Please! im gonna go buy ice cream if you don’t text back!!! Since when? Emily had been trying to reach her this whole time? Forget the restaurant. Forget that woman. This was a whole new grief that swallowed any other issue like an abyss. Forgetting to call Emily. Not texting her back. A long exhale left her nose, stricken with worry now for what was back at home. A place she wanted to be more than anything now. And she did want to call right then; drop everything just to do it. But she was upset. Frustrated. So many complex and difficult emotions she didn’t want Emily trying to deal with. Not wanting her to worry. She would be fine and she knew it, but if it wasn’t such a horrible feeling. Barely as an afterthought there was something from Sheila as well. Work, undoubtedly. But she allowed herself to feel selfish on that front just for the night, wanting nothing more than to get back to the hotel, call Emily, then sleep early just to get home even faster. What a night. What an experience. What a mistake.

I'm a little late on openly acknowledging this, but thank you for the opportunity to participate in a contest! It was fun having another reason to write a one-off type of story; I'm glad I could enter a contest type of event! If there's another one of these in the future I'll definitely be considering to toss my name in the hat again, but most of all I hope to see more people participate. More stories is always a treat! Thanks again!

Apologies for only responding just now. Thank you very much for the fun contest opportunity, and if nothing else, it got me to write another story!

As emotional as Katherine can get, she's definitely built strong. Though, it's times like these when she gets pushed into a place that I think she doesn't like going to, even if Dawn forces her hand. But if nothing else, Katherine's a durable Amazon! Dawn's definitely just getting into that rut where reality is still sinking in, I'd say. Everything sucks and there's just about nothing that can happen at this point that'd feel like a "win" or a foothold in whatever slippery slope she's plummeting down. I want to continue leveraging the key point that Dawn isn't really all that aware of how this dimension works. She doesn't know the full scope of just how bad things can get and comparatively how good things right now are. Though, based on what she's come from and what she has to deal with now, the frustration is more than understandable. Yeah, candy from strangers is usually a no-go. If nothing else, maybe Katherine might misunderstand today as a lesson that chocolate gives Dawn an upset stomach... Some sort of warped conclusion like that. As far as never being able to love Katherine and James, that is a good question. I'd be curious to see just what kind of gauntlet it might take to make her truly appreciative of them, assuming one exists! Hey there, thanks for reading! Yeah, but at the end of the day what's a good story without a little bit of struggle? Thanks for the comment!

13 - Free Sample The car ride was a deafening silence, which by all accounts was pure bliss to Dawn. She felt relieved. Lightened with a thousand weights off her shoulders, even if her wrists and ankles were still just as shackled. She spoke her mind, truly and honestly and had pulled back the curtains on what this cruel farce truly was. Dawn didn’t make a noise or bat an eye when she was put into the car seat. She simply took it. She had no words or any real emotions to give Katherine to feed off of or work with. Maybe that’s what it was. A battle of attrition from this point. The only way she could continue her resolve was by remaining distant. Cold. She knew when to fold and walk away. Nothing was going to change, so why fight it? Take it for what it is and let her captors have their way. The only thing Dawn could do was make it a show of involuntary compliance. That seemed to be the one way she could at least find any kind of silver lining to this. Unfortunately she wasn’t in the mood for sleep. She wasn’t in the mood for anything. Katherine did try a few times to create the opportunity for conversation. Comments about the weather, a funny-looking car or a fun-looking park. Her words may as well have fallen on deaf ears. Dawn didn’t so much as try glancing, especially if Katherine tried watching her from the rear-view mirror. Eventually they reached their destination, of which was another Little store, meaning the kind of store actually meant for Amazons trying to accessorize their forever babies. Dawn was no different, at least she was being led to believe. Getting home was suddenly starting to look like such a gray area. She knew the system was rigged, but whether it was absolutely impossible was anyone’s guess, but after all the hurdles and in fear of the truth itself, she didn’t want to ask. Another point was Katherine and James’ willingness to help. After she just told Katherine off like that, would they even be interested in helping her anymore? Then again, if they were trying to keep her from the start, were they ever really going to…? Inwardly she frowned, yet on the outside maintained her calm, disinterested composure. Dawn listened for Katherine’s seatbelt as she got out the driver’s seat and came over to her end. Other than the sound of the door beside her opening, another sign was the warm outdoor air. “Is it alright if I unbuckle you…?” Katherine asked somewhat reservedly. She held all the cards ultimately, yet apparently Dawn truly had done something to her. Good. If the only way she could create change was by murdering whatever joy this sadistic woman felt from Dawn’s own suffering, she was more than happy to exercise it. “Yes.” A plain response. No flavor, no sass, just acceptance. As simple of a press it was to undo her car seat buckles, it was still baffling to think how it’d be impossible for a Little. The kind of springs that must have needed to be otherworldly… Well, on second thought, considering she was stranded in another dimension, that much was in fact certain. Otherworldly, Amazon-strength springs. “Is it okay if I dress you?” Katherine asked with her sorrowful look. Dawn turned her head, almost making the mistake of looking surprised. In Katherine’s hands was the same cardigan from yesterday that she used as a functional cloak for modesty. Not only had Dawn forgotten her own request, but she was surprised Katherine would have “remembered” as well. Then again, maybe she only brought it because she thought Dawn still expected it…? “Yes,” she answered once more with her arms mounting the arm rests to pull herself forward and out of the seat. After a few moments she once again dawned the outfit as her one and only line of defense between the eyes of prying Amazons and her horrid underwear. For the sake of what was practical, Dawn was held by Katherine as they walked through the parking lot. Dawn figured it to be the same store, and maybe it was the same commercial chain, but it seemed like a different location. Whether she was accidentally letting it show on her face or Katherine explained anyway just because, “This store is closer to home than the first one we took you since we were out that day.” Dawn didn’t answer, quietly noting the information in her mental log of useless facts and other disappointing information. All that told her was that they were farther from the hotel, which meant in her mind being farther away from the Portal Station. What time was it? Had they left already? She’d probably be asking herself that into the late afternoon with a wrenching heart still clinging on to the impossible chance of getting out by today. Maybe James would come home from work with some sort of surprise news or a major development… Fat chance. It may have been a different store, but the apple didn’t fall far from the tree, nor did the Amazon stray far from the baby-craze. More pacifiers and learning toys were on front display. Sales and discounts on what were probably lesser than premium diapers; buy one get one half-off for onesies on clearance… The one thing that seemed universally the same about any megastore was the thin blanket of digital speakers spewing the mind-numbing ambient music that apparently made people more excited to shop… Dawn didn’t get it back home and she was even farther from understanding any of it in a place like this. Though before any of the torture could begin, a curveball Dawn admittedly should have expected was their ninety-degree turn toward the shopping carts. Out one came, and another low hanging fruit that she missed was the small seat that folded out from the front, of which Dawn was slipped into. Her legs fed into the holes and a firm buckled strap went over her waist. Her bare legs and feet now dangled there as she was forced to look directly into Katherine’s chest while she steered. “I want to walk,” Dawn calmly argued. “No. Not after last time.” Katherine, despite being so sad, was firm with the rejection. “You don’t have any shoes and I don’t want you dragging my sweater all over the floor.” For once it finally felt like Katherine was making an unbiased case. Dawn, much more friendly with her biases as of late, still wanted to turn her nose to the woman simply because of who she was, but she didn’t. After all, Katherine was the unreasonable child, not her. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise Dawn was forced to look at her captor by default. For that reason she didn’t have to look at anything else in this place that was bound to make her even more upset than she already was. Dare she look up and past Katherine’s shoulders, she could see snippets of things passing by on the higher shelves, all at the cost of accidentally making eye contact with her. “Excuse me? Would you two be interested in a free sample?” Dawn only bothered to look for two reasons. One, the cart had stopped. Two, the employee said “two”, as if Dawn was being acknowledged as her own person. Maybe she was a sucker and unfortunately feeling so belittled, simply being called out as someone like a peer was enough to rouse her attention. Katherine merely waved her hand as a gesturing apology. “Sorry, I think we’re alright...” The employee only chuckled as she stepped away from her stand with a platter of assorted chocolates resting on her flat open hand. “Trust me, that’s what every other mommy and daddy have said walking by; they’re kicking themselves after getting a taste of these!” Dawn’s eyebrows were starting to droop. Acknowledgement was nice in a place starved for Little’s rights, but the joy was significantly lessened when she knew just how much of an agenda there was to it. Apparently Amazons are willing to even dignify Littles at least somewhat if it means making a sale. Katherine stopped the cart and reluctantly stood there to hear her out, but Dawn could see the slightly grossed out look on Katherine’s face. Did she not like chocolate? Then she quickly dashed the thought, reminding herself to act like she didn’t care. Because she didn’t. “Chocolates…? I’m sorry, I’m not really much of a sweets kind of person...” “Oh,” she chuckled with a professed hand draped over her heart as the script practically read itself from the inside of her eyelids. “Believe me! I am the exact same, just like most Amazons. But this new chocolate from KozyKitchen is a treat designed for Amazons and Littles!” It may have been Katherine’s preoccupied mind with all the shit Dawn had been giving her as of late, but she still did not seem quite sold. Dawn was still trying to puff embers out of the remnants of recognition she just had a second ago, back to being the second class citizen forced to watch and listen. “Believe me, you’ll feel a lot different once you try it yourself,” the pushy woman continued to insist. She danced her hand over the platter like it was a game of chance and plucked a chocolate to hand over to the reluctant Amazon. “And is it alright for the sweetpea in your carriage, too? It’s all FSR approved, by the way!” Dawn could feel Katherine’s eyes on her. “...Dawn, would you--” “Yes please,” Dawn cut her off, especially making it a point to give the most cooperative looking attitude she could. Not to Katherine, of course. Never in a million years. She made a real show of it, pouring out every ounce of kindness and politeness she could to this employee, just to show her captor what she would never have for herself. She could have cared less about the chocolate. “Alrighty then, hon. Annnd oneee for you!” She continued the same song and dance, picking out a piece for Dawn seemingly at random. “Thank you,” Dawn said with a smile before popping the sweet into her mouth. “And such manners!” The employee laughed. Katherine didn’t seem to comment. Again, not Dawn’s problem. Katherine slipped her own into her mouth to chew it. “...Oh...that’s not bad, actually.” Katherine’s hand slowly drifted from her mouth. “Those are really chocolates?” “One-hundred percent approved by the FSR!” The saleswoman reminded with another selling smile. Dawn chewed hers, but it didn’t taste like anything supremely remarkable. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t the best of the best either. She did make note of the thick jelly filling inside of it though. Sort of like a fruit syrup. Strawberries? Orange? Definitely one of those stranger assorted kinds of chocolates, but to each their own. “So, how about it, mom? Could I interest you in a box?” She waited patiently. Dawn continued to chew on what little she had left to swallow, trying to ignore Katherine being referred to as her mother for the second time now. “James might actually like those...” Katherine muttered under her breath. “Uhm...we need to run around the store a little bit, but if I remember, I think I would be interested?” “Perfect!” The employee smiled. “I promise you’ll find me right over there by the rattles. Have fun shopping, you two!” Katherine pushed the cart along and Dawn went back to staying reserved, once again faced with the reality of all the things they were about to get. “Those were good, huh?” Katherine suddenly spoke up, an attempt at small talk or conversation. “Mhm.” Dawn mumbled back, burning her attempt to build a bridge before it even started. “...Would you want to have some more of that chocolate…?” “I’m fine.” Her morale seemed to have been killed, because there weren’t any more attempts after that. Even with her back turned to the rest of the store, Dawn was able to deduce that they were headed to the clothes area. “Do you have any favorite colors?” Katherine asked with an almost level tone, but inevitably weighed by the seeds of doubt. Fear. Fear of rejection. “Black. Gray.” Dawn robotically answered. Katherine’s fingers patiently danced on the bar of the carriage while her head looked around. “O...Okay… No promises though...alright?” After their last shopping trip, Dawn knew it probably was an impossible search. The concept of a babied little being in anything but pastels and hideously bright and infantile colors was probably blasphemy in the Amazon’s testament, or maybe even in their genes. The point was, Dawn was well-aware of how difficult she was making things, and she did not give an absolute damn. The only reason she humored Katherine is because she was betting on there being nothing even remotely in her interest at all. She wanted every single thing from this trip to be chosen by Katherine. This was all of Katherine’s making and certainly not Dawns. Whatever bond she thought that she had a chance in forming with Dawn, the smaller girl herself would make sure that it never happened. “Dawn…? It’s a little hard to find stuff in those colors. Do you have any other colors you like?” “Nope. Not really.” Dawn didn’t bother to turn her head. There wasn’t a reply right away. Dawn could imagine it. She probably already had something picked out, and yet it was against her stomach while her hands fussed over each other, at a loss and unsure of what to do, lest she make things worse than they already were. “H-how...how about purple?” “Don’t care.” “...Okay...” Her voice was faint, and the sniffle she made was telling too. Dawn kept facing the same way she’d been since being confined to this mobile cage, yet looked angry for a moment just to hear the Amazon struggle with her tears. One moment, she could be as fierce as flames with her no-nonsense cutthroat attitude when it came to discipline, then tears and whimpers the moment you showed her the cold shoulder. Katherine was the worst kind of person. Overbearing, ignorant, and supposedly kind all the same. She couldn’t take a hint, didn’t change her ways, and cried if Dawn wasn’t going to pretend like she was the queen herself. Yes, it certainly was a battle of attrition, because Dawn struggled to not give her fickle emotions any kind of response. And as the shopping continued, Dawn kept telling herself, repeating the words in her mind that this was what got through to Katherine. This was the only way to truly communicate with her. Pain was truly the best teacher. Not even Katherine turning the tables on Dawn seemed to scare her. She really could get whatever she wanted, and Dawned resolved that she would not care. Dawn guessed that she might fight back in her own way by finding the most childish, ridiculous clothes she could put her hands on. Frills, polka-dots, bright pinks and ugly purples, all skirts and no pants; all the things Dawn would consider “retaliation.” But the trick to not caring about any of it was by reminding herself that it didn’t matter the poison if it was all lethal anyway. A onesie with snaps wasn’t going to make her look any closer to being an adult than a romper would. It was comparing apples to apples and expecting to somehow find an orange among the bunch. The quiet shopping went on after Katherine apparently found enough clothes to suffice. Dawn still hadn’t bothered to look. And one of their worst stops came next. Furniture. It was surreal seeing entire set displays, especially cribs themselves perfectly sized for someone like Dawn. A large mattress space for an adult (the size of a Little) confined by high bars yet still looking proportional relative to all the other horrid accessories. A rocking chair, diaper pail, dresser, toy chest… It all made her physically cringe, especially knowing that not only did this stuff exist, but they really were getting it. But when she thought about it, it unfortunately made sense when she also remembered that her demographic was just about the same size as Amazon’s up and coming tykes... “Please, Dawn...” Katherine carried tinges of desperation. Likely hoping for some kind of input just so it didn’t feel like she was dragging her through the mud completely. Just to feel better about herself. Just so Dawn’s words would finally stop getting to her… “I want you to pick, okay? Any crib...any bed that you want,” like a change in vocabulary changed the object itself. A worthless try to make any of this better. “I won’t say ‘no’, so please? Please pick something you like? I want you to have something you want. Please?” What was going through Katherine’s mind was more or less decided in Dawn’s head, but even that thought exercise needn’t be done when the answer was always so simple to go with. “I don’t care.,” she repeated, “I don’t want any of this.” The Amazon’s shoulders slightly drooped as she looked over Dawn and straight ahead with a watery shine in her eyes. Katherine was only doing a worse job at keeping herself in check while they “browsed.” She continually tried to ask for Dawn’s opinions on how things looked, if she thought they were nice and such. For Dawn, she was sort of enjoying the game of pretend she was playing. Pretending like she couldn’t turn her head. Instead it was a constant view of Katherine’s torso and chest, or otherwise a long stretch of aisle whenever she stepped away. Nothing to her sides were of interest, and it was only bound to make her even more upset. Sealing everything off seemed to be the only way of calming herself. Making the choice to cut herself away from all stimuli was oddly...liberating. Sitting in a carriage, diapered without any shoes and only a shirt and oversized sweater, in spite of all that, she finally felt like she had power over herself in at least a small way. “This...this one says it has a really soft mattress?” Katherine wiped one of her eyes as she spoke up again. Dawn wasn’t even caring to answer anymore. Enough silence seemed to count as an answer if she was quiet enough. The worse Katherine started to seem, the shopping venture only appeared to grow more awkward. Luckily not as many Amazons seemed to pass by, but it wasn’t entirely a ghost town. Female and some male Amazons certainly did pass by...and so did their objects of torture. Dawn wasn’t sure if Katherine decided on something herself or gave up entirely because the carriage started rolling forward. Whatever though, it was all out of Dawn’s hands and she was starting to find that maybe she preferred it that way. If the saying went ‘in for a penny, in for a pound,’ surely the opposite was true, right? Don’t give a fuck, don’t give any fucks? Didn’t quite ring the same, but in Dawn’s starved mind, just about anything felt linguistically “fun” for her as long as she was the source. From anyone else, it was all just patronizing and condescending fluff meant to placate her while she continued to drown in this nightmare. The same routine would follow. Traverse an aisle, exit it, make a turn, enter the next. They were playing a game of snake to explore every inch of the store. While Dawn focused straight ahead, there would continually be the noise of tiny chings from the metal carriage or slumping and sliding of the things already inside of it. Each noise was another drop in the bucket that weighed Dawn into the abyss. Another purchase leading further to her demise. Her only solace could be that Katherine didn’t seem to be enjoying it so much either, but likely for different reasons… Wasn’t this a treat in its own way? Katherine was essentially getting what she wanted. A Little, and the one she picked out of the pen at the state fair, no less. Yet what joy was there to spoil what she wanted the most. Continuing to get herself high off the circulating thoughts was what made this palatable and kept her mind from cracking anymore than it already had. Back to the game of “snake,” Dawn’s peripherals unfortunately started picking up on what kind of aisle they were in. The cushy thoughts she had been padding her head with started to dissipate the more her eyes took the forefront of her attention. She couldn’t ignore it as she slumped slightly lower in her seat, practically wanting to disappear right then. Her attempts to not exist though were hard when she felt the metal bar press against the front of her diaper and the secure waist strap firmly tugged her back. She wasn’t going anywhere. Large, prominent plastic packages lined either end, rounded edges that only emphasized the “bargains” packed inside. Before she knew it she was already transfixed on all the predatory advertising labeled on the fronts, caught in a state of chilling morbid curiosity. Extra Absorbent! FIVE more included! GUARANTEED to make them waddle! Ten percent off, comes scented, twenty-four hour protection… “Dawn?” A soft-spoken voice made her look up. It was Katherine, expectedly, but in Dawn’s state she just about forgot entirely. “Are you okay?” Her face still wore the hesitation and guilt, but like always, she sounded earnest. “I’m...” Dawn started to give a genuine answer, but finally remembered her resolve. Turning her head back down and to the side she went back to wearing her mask. “I’m fine.” Katherine was quiet. If it was Dawn’s guess, she very much did not believe she was fine, but she wasn’t pushing the matter. Good. If only things could have been like this from the start. “Since I know that you’re not excited about this part...I’ll pick them out, okay?” Katherine continued to speak like Dawn was continually a part of the process, yet she was only deceiving herself. At least for Dawn she didn’t exactly have a tall order of many different emotions to suppress. In a situation like this, she need only focus on her anger and fear, of which she was feeling troves of. “Yep.” And yet as resigned as Dawn wanted to be, she couldn’t help but with a sickly knot in her stomach glance at the packaging as Katherine slowly, painfully wheeled the cart alongside one of the shelves. The designs. Oh, the designs. If it weren’t for the bare-breasted women or men with fully developed bodies as the models for these diapers, Dawn, excusing the store itself, could have cheerfully rode off into the sunset purely believing that these were just diapers for toddlers and infants. But they weren’t. Suns and moons, flowers and butterflies. Cats and dogs, dinosaurs and monkeys. Some cartoon colored and others were just outlines. Velcro tapes and shiny plastic outer shells. They all looked oppressively offensive, but it only felt worse when she remembered that this was something exactly like what she was wearing. She hated it. She hated all of it. There wasn’t any way she’d be wearing any of this. No way at all. She’d go commando for the rest of her life if need be. No, for as long as she was in this dimension, which wasn’t going to be forever...damnit! “Excuse me, Ma’am?” And so another agent from hell had arrived. “Could I help you at all?” If she wasn’t as stiff as a board before, Dawn only hoped she could look like the inanimate doll meant for the actual Little waiting at home for all this horrid baby paraphernalia. And of course, then came the dreaded halt of the carriage. Stuck in place and time had stopped. Why of all places did they need to be approached here? It was all sick marketing tactics… Of course diapers were where the money was… Get a customer paying an effective subscription like this, and they were buying for life. “Hi there...” Katherine replied, her eyes were probably elsewhere. It was garbage amongst garbage for Dawn, but for someone like Katherine, she was probably a kid in a candy store… Dawn tightened her grip on the carriage handle with whitening knuckles. Whatever she said, it didn’t matter. She wanted this even if she felt “bad” about how she was treating Dawn. It was all lip service, just to get compliance… “First time getting diapers?” The worker didn’t wait to laugh to herself. “Don’t worry, I’ve dealt with plenty of first-time mommies before. When did you get her?” Yes, of course. Because that’s all Dawn was at this point; property. She really was just a doll. “Just yesterday, actually...” Now she wasn’t sounding preoccupied. Just sad. Good. “Oh wow! Congratulations! It may seem scary at first, but trust me when I say you’re giving yourself a lot of joy just as much as you’re gonna give this little girl!” And then came the audacity of a head pat from a complete stranger. The large hand on her head was enough to make Dawn flinch. “S-sorry,” Katherine apologized, probably seeing the split-second reaction on her prisoner’s face. “She’s a bit shy right now...” “Mhm...” Dawn could practically hear the sympathetic nod. “Mine was like that too for the first few weeks. There was always some reason for putting up a fuss. He’d throw tantrums when it was tub time, when he got put down for naps, especially during diaper changes...” Dawn could only imagine the very real frustrations of whoever was unfortunate enough to be claimed by this disillusioned Amazon. He was probably a grown man, maybe fresh out of college, or a fully grown working adult? Did it even matter? Either way, all of his legitimate emotions, complex thoughts, ideas, hopes and wishes could be disregarded so easily as “tantrums” for why he was resisting a fate that left him babified for the rest of his life. “But things are a lot better now! He still can get cranky on some days, but you’d be surprised how they can come around with enough love,” she chuckled, the sadistic bitch. “Oh! Sorry about that, I didn’t mean to go on like that… So do you have any idea for what kind of diapers you were thinking to keep her in?” More cringeworthy conversation. Was she a pet now? Diapers were talked about like they were collars. Accessories that were integral to the image that Dawn was being forced into. “That’s...sort of the issue.” But never quite fully, was it? Maybe it wasn’t just Dawn that couldn’t get straight answers from Katherine. Then again, maybe it was just anything that concerned Dawn there wasn’t ever a cut and dry answer. Not if it actually involved her interests. “That’s completely fine!” The employee assured her, as anyone trying to make a sale would. “That’s what we’re here for, really. So since that’s the case, what kind of Little do you want? Do you want her running around or staying put?” She couldn’t. She couldn’t actually be speaking so casually about something like that, right? Deciding whether to inhibit a fully conscious adult’s motor functions or not? And how, even? “I still want her to be able to move around...” Katherine answered with a slight bit of hesitation. Was she being wary of Dawn? Either way, the answer came promptly, so Dawn wasn’t ready to scream quite yet. “Okay. How about for changes? Would you rather do it as little as possible? There are Amazons that prefer that, which is understandable, but it may be hard for her to get around easily if you don’t change her for too long...” That was an option? It was bizarre for Dawn to listen in. It was like spectating at the zoo, only the irony was that she was in the cage. Maybe the lions, bears and elephants did the same thing from their pens. They watched the spectators as much as they watched them, equally fascinated by just how wild and unrelatable the other side could be. “N-no, I’d rather not… I don’t mind changing her frequently. Or, regularly, at least.” Her change of wording felt strange to Dawn, but maybe she was just scrutinizing. ‘Regularly’ over ‘frequently’ almost implied she would have to stew somewhat. Whatever. It was all hypothetical, meant for a show just to trick this LPS worker or whatever. Again, and most certainly it would be the hill Dawn died on; she would not be wearing diapers. Any...any more than she already was. “Okay, that’s fine. Honestly, I prefer to change mine regularly as well. He can get fussy if he’s in one for too long, and I can’t exactly say I support the Amazons out there that think their Little deserves it… But, everyone has their own parenting style.” Parenting. And like that, a violation of human rights is chalked up to a unique style of “parenting.” Dawn merely kept pretending to be an elephant, desperately hoping for this all to end. Believe it or not, she wanted to go back to Katherine and James’ house. At least there it was dealing with just two crazies instead of the entire population. “Sorry, do you mind if I check real quick?” The employee asked Katherine. Katherine didn’t say anything at first, which meant that she didn’t say no. Therefore, consent, apparently. Consent to violate Dawn’s privacy. Dawn was nothing short of mortified when faster than she could process her charged emotions, the one article of clothing she had was deftly lifted to expose her padded backside. A cold finger brushed against her back as the diaper’s waistband stretched, then the same for the front. The look in Dawn’s eye, it had to be the flames of hell with how much anger and frustration she was feeling. She wanted to shout, scream, anything to make it abundantly clear that she was far above this, and much more deserving of legitimate respect…! Yet her trembling hand stayed still as a blanket of fingers wrapped over it. Katherine must have noticed while she talked to the worker. It was enough to make Dawn keep her cool and snap out of it, but she also harshly wrestled her hand out from underneath, holding it to her chest like it’d been wounded. “So I’d say she’s about a size four,” the worker determined. “Which is good. Except for the specialty stuff, you definitely have the pick of the litter! I can recommend a few brands down here...” And so the carriage slowly rolled onwards. While the dreaded diaper talk continued, Dawn meanwhile did her best to tune it all out. Forget about where she was, what they were doing, and how it all came to this point. Somehow learning to lose herself to a vegetative state was feeling like the most plausible kind of nirvana. “Dawn…?” Katherine, the so-called saint had once again pulled her back into the cruel reality before her. “I asked if you wanted to help pick the design?” Design…? She turned her head. Diapers, naturally. There were a few different packages. Brightly colored with attractive text, for Amazons, yet only unnerving for the everyday Little. Playtymes, they were all branded in bubbly thick lettering. They were all some kind of variation of dogs, cats, and flowers. Durable and absorbent! Little-lock strength adhesive! Features a multi-core odor mask! All the bells and whistles to a prison cell that maximized convenience for the warden over the prisoner. They all had the same information, more or less, just differing in design. Dawn gave Katherine finally a look that wasn’t just disinterest, but finally disbelief and utter offense. After everything up until now, what in God’s name did she ever think that’d make her believe Dawn would want anything to do with this? Rights to handle her own execution? Now the employee had the audacity to tap her on the shoulder. “Dawn, sweetie, I was just telling your mommy that making a choice you both agree on is a great way for you both to be happy?” Then came the worst part. She grinned. Actually, she grinned. This wasn’t a bonding exercise, or some kind of good-hearted attempt to bring two people closer to each other. This was public humiliation and this rotten bitch was trying to get a front-row seat. “Piss off.” Dawn finally spat, turning her head back forward. “Dawn…!” Katherine raised her voice in shock, apparently finding it in herself as well to be more than just sad. While Dawn stayed in place, arms crossed and angrier than ever, the employee was only waving her hand with a laugh as Katherine profusely apologized on her behalf. “Nope, no, that’s fine, really.” She finished the rest of her chuckling. “When you said ‘shy’ I already figured that meant cranky. It’s okay. Littles always tend to throw fits at first. ‘I don’t need diapers, I’m a grown-up, I didn’t pee my pants...” Blah-blah-blah. If only Dawn had been given a chance to punch her… It didn’t matter what Dawn said, obviously. For every reason there was always an equivalent “excuse” in an Amazon’s mind just for why a Little’s point was null and void. That much she was starting to see. “Please, Dawn?” Katherine used the same compassionate voice and went as far as to touch Dawn’s hand again. Apparently the first time was a mistake, because here she was trying the same tactic twice for mistakenly thinking it worked the first. Glad it was her arm without the bruised wrist, without any qualms she roughly jerked her hand back and away, crossing her arms tightly just to remove any chance for physical connection. Her head felt hot and it was starting to get uncomfortable. Probably from all this pointless pestering, humiliation and complete shittiness of the situation. When would they finally be going home?! “Pick. It. Your--self.” Dawn mumbled in an angry voice. She tried to raise herself from the seat, but the carriage buckle only let her rise halfway for her to raise her voice. “I DON’T CARE ABOUT ANY OF THIS! I HATE YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU’VE DONE TO ME! I...” And as she tried to find her words, suddenly squeaking a small whimpering grunt, another knot formed in her stomach. She fell back down in her seat with an uncomfortable gurgle in her stomach. “Dawn...honey?” Katherine asked, either far too desensitized to her outbursts or simply one that forgave and forgot so easily, she was already focused on the odd mannerisms and expressions coming from Dawn. “O...ow...” Dawn uncomfortably squirmed in a soft, whimpering voice. She couldn’t sit still. She needed to move. She couldn’t sit in this seat. She wanted out! “Uh-oh, I think I know what that looks like...” The employee slyly commented from the sideline. Again, Dawn desperately tried to undo the buckle yet it wouldn’t budge. She tried to push herself out once more. But it was a mistake. A grave mistake. Her “foothold,” so to speak, was gone the moment she lifted her backside. The door stopper was gone and the avalanche fell free. As there was a bead of sweat on her forehead, those uncomfortable knots in her stomach were undone one by one as they flowed elsewhere in the body. Through her abdomen, down to the intestine, and finally… A crude, upsetting noise suddenly came from Dawn’s backside. It was the trumpet to the stampede, an unstoppable force that had snuck behind home base lines so stealthily until the final moment. Teary-eyed, Dawn gripped the carriage handle for dear life as she involuntarily started to mess herself. It was a paralyzing experience as she felt her own mess creep out of her into her own underwear, like a mud seeping down and between her legs. She couldn’t think straight. Her face was hot and the tiny invisible hairs on her arms were standing upright. This wasn’t real, she couldn’t have… Then the smell hit her. Her nose crinkled in disgust. Her bottom felt warm and violated. She was frozen, partially stood up, especially now that a landmine was sitting in her pants. If she sat back down… “Dawn...honey?” Of course. Had she forgotten, there were two spectators right beside her. Shakily she turned her head. Katherine was looking concerned, as per usual, meanwhile the other Amazon looked quite amused. She wanted to pass it off, to pretend like nothing had happened. Keep going with the attitude that she wanted nothing to do with Katherine, and she certainly didn’t. Especially not now. She didn’t want anything to do with anybody, including herself. Not looking like this. Not after doing what she just did…! “I...I...” She couldn’t keep her head straight. It was all a frazzle. It smelled horrendous and she just couldn’t accept what had happened. How? Why? Dawn watched in a stunned silence as Katherine reached over the carriage, plucking a large pack of diapers off the shelf. Her eyes followed the package right to the very point it fell into the carriage. On...everything else. Fuck...shit! Forgetting her one resolve, her golden rule, she finally looked inside the carriage. She could see everything that was grabbed and gotten. It was a pile of weapons and horror. Instruments of infantile terrorism and babification. Enough to arm a small country of expecting mothers. Onesies, rompers, skirts, pants. A few pacifiers, bottles, wipes...baby powder… There were no punches being pulled. It was all there. All the things she knew they’d be getting, but didn’t want to accept… She could feel herself going lightheaded. “Are there any changing rooms nearby?” Katherine asked the employee, who was more than obliged to point. “Thank you...” The Amazon in charge came back to the front of the carriage where Dawn still remained half-suspended. Frozen with embarrassment and sheer disbelief. The thousand yard stare only continued the agonizingly long stretch to wherever it was that they were going. Dawn had truly become a statue. Keeping her foul-smelling backside off its seat meant she had to hold herself off of it in place like it was an exercise. Her thousand-yard stare looked far beyond Katherine’s torso, who was ignored entirely as she tried to get through to the girl. This wasn’t right. This wasn’t happening. A dream. A horrible, bad dream. She’d given up on believing this entire dimension was a farce, which is why it was just some nightmare from sleeping in her hotel room. And if not that...then on the bed of blankets back at James and Katherine’s home. That had to be it. She prayed to any spirit or higher power that would make it so and wipe this unreal experience all away. “Where is...oh, right here!” Katherine jerked the cart back at a door they had passed and it was more than plenty to jerk Dawn as well. Her hands slipped, she lost her grip. It was like in slow motion, yet happened far faster than her delicate emotions could already handle. There was a sudden mucky squish as her rounded bottom partly flattened against the plastic seat and mashed her bottom against her very own mess. She shuddered with a kickstart to her emotions, jumped and primed; she found it in herself to sniffle with watering eyes, biting her lower lip just to hang on to whatever dignity she thought she had, that her imagination fooled her into believing. “Dawn, honey, it’s okay…!” Katherine tried to soothe her. The cart was stopped and aligned with the wall. All Dawn registered was a pair of hands reaching for her crotch. She didn’t understand and was too disoriented and too feral to let anyone near her. Angrily and embarrassingly she tried to fight off Katherine’s hands, yet Amazonian strength was unrivaled and so was her carriage seat buckle, but not for Katherine. “I know sweetie, I know...it feels yucky, doesn’t it?” Katherine soothed and cooed. She didn’t sound distant or depressed anymore. She wasn’t hurting because Dawn was hurting. She sobbed and cried, contemplating whether she really was herself or not. She was a college girl, not a toddler! She didn’t piss or shit her pants, so why now? In her sobbing state Katherine walked into a small restroom with a single toilet and dreadfully, a changing table built into the wall. She had to have had an allergic reaction to something, maybe...but what? Then it clicked. Clicking much later than it should have. “Th...the...” she hiccupped and sobbed, then physically recoiled with cringe the moment Katherine laid her down on the table. Wait, what was happening? Was she cleaning her off? “The chocolate…!” Katherine could only frown with confusion as she tried to decipher her words. A world of context was buried inside Dawn’s head, and yet next to none of it seemed to reach with her words. The chocolate, that had to have been it. Something didn’t agree with her, and all that she had today was that chocolate and some toast and eggs… She didn’t like eggs, but it all seemed normal, but so did the chocolate… Katherine looked fine, and they both ate the same things, so was it? It had to be…! “Just...just give me a second...” Dawn heaved through blurry eyes, and yet her world started falling backwards the moment she felt her bottom once more pressed against a hard surface. The sweater came off and she was just in a shirt and unfortunately used diaper. “Please...wait outside…! Just let me clean up; this isn’t me! I don’t do this!” “Dawn, please, let me help?” “I DON’T WANT ANY HELP!” she screamed as loud as she could, as much as her lungs allowed her to. Katherine’s look didn’t change though, she could have been deaf as far as reactions were concerned. Her forlorn expression stayed while she stood beside the plastic table Dawn felt too gross to move on. It smelled, she was disgusted and wanted to disappear. Take off her skin and replace it with a new coat; anything to get away from such a humiliating act. “I can’t just leave you in here...” “Why not?!” she bitterly cried, too out of sorts to figure out the obvious answers. “You’re too small to be left alone in here, Dawn. It’s just a messy diaper, honey? Please, I’m not mad, I’m not upset...” “Don’t...don’t talk about it like it’s nothing!” Dawn sobbed through her shouts. “I’m a fucking grown adult, Katherine…! I use the toilet, not fucking diapers! I...I was drugged. Something didn’t agree with me, I don’t know, but I didn’t do this!” “...So you’re saying that someone made you mess your diaper?” “Yes!” She answered far too quickly on a sense of impulse to fully digest Katherine’s words. Skepticism, if even that, was potent with her words. Obviously doubtful and far less trusting, the Amazon sounded. The way she had asked, it was almost like a whimsical way of humoring a toddler’s banter. Katherine didn’t sound like she believed a single word that she said. All baseless and imaginary conspiracies. “It was the chocolate!” Dawn said with only half-certainty, but her gut told her that could have been the only thing. “That...that free sample! That made me!” She could barely move anymore, lest she be reminded, but that awful smell…! “The chocolate that I ate too?” Katherine asked, yet essentially attacked her argument in the same breath. “You don’t need to lie, and you don’t need to feel embarrassed...” It was a slippery slope because Dawn started panicking the moment a strap came over her stomach. Instantly worries of panic started coming from her mouth as she tried to sit up, yet Katherine gently eased her back with a firm touch. “Just lay back, okay? Please let me clean you up? You feel yucky, don’t you? It’s just you and me in here, no one else. You’ll be clean in just a few minutes, so try and relax...please.” It was a constant war of pain, sadness, hope, and concern in her voice. She must have been warring with the side of herself utterly heartbroken by Dawn’s outright rejection and hatred, yet still burning with a supposed passion to continue mothering her. “I...I don’t know…! You’re an Amazon, I’m a...a Little,” she started to say, hopefully appealing to her logic through similar words. “Food affects us differently? I didn’t do this though. I didn’t shit myself! And I don’t care if it’s just us, I want it to be just ME!” Katherine only continued to look beside herself. At no point though did it ever look to Dawn like she was on the verge of “listening” or “giving in.” Against her better judgment, Dawn started kicking her legs to fight the woman off, which only made the feelings and sensations worse in her full diaper, heightening the gross factor while her nostrils continued to be violated. Katherine didn’t leave though. She didn’t retreat. Deftly she grabbed her by the ankles with a single hand, looping them together with a single swoop. It was like trying to shoot a water gun at the sun. She stared at Dawn with a mixed expression. A lot was on the woman’s mind, but Dawn hardly cared. So much more was on the forefront of her mind that issues secondary to herself were far from being worth consideration. “Take...” Katherine started, but took a breath before firming herself. “Take off your diaper. Take off your diaper, then I’ll let you finish.” And then she set on the table what was previously out of view. Wipes. Powder… Another diaper. “I will.” Dawn wiped her eyes, resisting a strong urge to sweep all the supplies off the table. It was certainly odd being given the go-ahead by Katherine, especially after being denied this morning, but she wasn’t going to argue objectively a good thing. Slipping both hands under the beginnings of the diaper tapes, she got a good grip, pulled, and teared adhesive from plastic. Except it didn’t. She grunted a small amount the moment she pulled on the tapes. The diaper pulled up a tiny bit, yet that also meant her lower half inside of it as well. She tried pulling again, audibly making noises of stress as the tapes refused to budge. “What...what?” Dawn angrily pulled and pulled, exhaling into exhaustion as the pain in her wrist was starting to flare up once again. “It’s...what’s with this?!” “It’s a diaper, Dawn.” Katherine gently lowered her hand on one of the tapes. She grabbed the end, then peeled it off with a loud crackle of plastic and adhesive like it was nothing, as if the holy sword had rejected Dawn in place of a different favored hero. “You...you tricked me!” she growled, now vigorously trying to pull at the one tape she had left just to prove herself. But it wouldn’t move, barely at all. How could this be possible?! “I didn’t trick you. I would never trick you,” she said with a voice thick with emotion. “It’s like your car seat; these things are made for Amazons to take care of.” Of course, it only felt so obvious in retrospect. If car seats that acted like prisons for Littles were only accessible by the jailer themselves, why wouldn’t it be the same for diapers? Different cell, same locking mechanism. “So you knew...you just wanted to see me make a fool of myself?” Dawn bitterly asked. She certainly did feel like a fool for not setting her expectations even lower. “No!” Katherine finally responded with some volume, for once. “Why? Why do you think everything that I try to do for you is against you? Why do you think I’m always trying to attack you? Humiliate you? Hurt you? I showed you because you wouldn’t believe me otherwise!” “Because you do try to hurt me! You tried kidnapping me and now I’m fucking stuck here in this fucking AWFUL dimension!” Dawn screamed right back, as low on the totem pole as she could be with a half-worn diaper filled with her own waste, shouting from a changing table up at the woman trying to handle her. And for once, Katherine laughed. The laugh of a fragile soul still on the precipice of insanity. “I...I don’t get it! I-if James and I didn’t stop you from being taken by...” Her eyes were already starting to water, but she took a deep breath, reeling back in the tears. “I...I try to be nice. I try to discipline you, but that’s only because you don’t listen…!” Dawn scoffed. “Discipline me? Don’t talk like I’m your fucking child!” If anger was doing her any favors, it at least helped her forget what she was wearing. “Because you ARE ONE!” Katherine finally shouted. The room fell silent. Katherine’s hands were clenched with a hot and frustrated look. “You’re a brat. A rude, inconsiderate little girl that can’t tell the difference between someone trying to help you or hurt you! You don’t show any gratitude for the things people do for you, or realize just how much worse it could be for yourself if James and I weren’t so willing to help you! I try to buy the things you might like. I try to ask for your opinions at every point. I offer everything to you! But no. You give me rude and mean looks. You say nasty things about me and my husband. You kick, scream, pout and fight when things don’t go your way. And finally, when you mess your own diaper, you try to pass off the blame onto someone else and you won’t even let me change you!” It was too much to attack. Was this even an argument anymore? Dawn quietly breathed as she looked no less pissed, but was obviously more quiet now. “You say naughty words when I ask you not to, you don’t ever have anything nice to say to me…!” She sniffled once more. “I’m...I’m committed to you Dawn, and I’m not giving up. But it just hurts...it hurts so much…! You’ve been ignoring me and treating me like a piece of dirt! I apologized for not telling you the full story. What I did was wrong and I know that now, but I will not be treated as something less than just because you want to throw a tantrum all day!” “IT’S NOT A TANTRUM!” Dawn seethed right back. Katherine didn’t recoil. Instead she entered the fray. While Dawn screamed and shouted, Katherine went about the diaper change like it was mostly nothing. She tore off the other tape, pulled out the diaper. Wiped her bottom, unfolded the new one, powdered… “I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE JAMES!” The whole way Katherine carried out the diaper change with a stone-faced expression. Even after the change was finished, Katherine stood there while Dawn continued to kick and scream, still strapped to the table, burning her rage like it was nuclear fission. Hate. Hate. Hate. The longer she went, the more fuel she burned leading to less and less creativity in her malice and ire, losing the sharp edges of whatever words that may have hurt, simply devolving into clay lumps of hate and ridicule. Katherine looked no less upset, yet she masked it with her stern expression, truly peeved yet hurt all the same. And so they stayed like that for almost another ten minutes, but for Dawn an eternity. It kept on going until her voice croaked and was beginning just to feel raspy. Her throat was dry and tired. All her words were spent and then some. She was exhausted. The horrible smell was thankfully gone, but was replaced with an unfortunately equally as potent smell of baby powder. “...We’re going to go back outside now. I think we got enough of what we need for today. After we buy everything we’re going home. Does that work for you?” “I hate you.” Dawn motionlessly replied from the changing table, staring up at the ceiling. “And I love you.” Katherine just as harshly replied. “You love having a doll that looks pretty.” Not that she considered herself so, but she knew Katherine did. “No. I love you. I just wish you could open up to me more, because I know that you have so much more for me to love, even if you say so many mean things to me.” The moment Katherine’s overhanging head became Dawn’s view, she averted her gaze. The moment the buckle came off, Dawn looked down at herself, grimacing. Puppies. She really did grab a package. Obviously. Diapers didn’t come from thin air, but the overabundance she’d been seeing could make her think otherwise. Dawn truly did hang in her arms like a lifeless doll while she tried to reflect, or at least think of the situation as it was. It irked her so annoyedly about the diaper situation. They were just like the car seat… She wouldn’t be able to take them off on her own if she tried. Maybe with a knife or scissors? But again, it was another degree of confinement she was powerless against. After all this though, once they were finally back home, the diaper came off. Without a doubt. Once they emerged from the bathroom, the mind-numbing shopping tunes hummed over the superstore, reminding Dawn just what hell she was still trapped in. Before Dawn was sat back in the carriage, however, Katherine leaned into the cart and pulled something out. It was a pair of pants. Sort of. More of those faux jeans with an elastic waistband. The pockets were fake and the “stitching” was superficial. More pretend “grown-up” clothes. Especially when they were a soft purple, probably the closest to black she could ever get in a place like this. “Would you like to wear these?” Katherine asked expectantly. And did the moon come out when it was night time? Dawn side-eyed her. They both knew the answer, which begs a whole new question of why Katherine asked to begin with. There was an angle. A trick. Something. It was always about extortion; an ulterior motive. Dawn knew it, just somehow… “No?” Per recent developments, silence apparently no longer meant consent, which is why she started putting them back in the cart. “Fine! Yes, I want to wear them.” Dawn wore a sour-faced expression. “What? What do you want? What do I have to do?” Katherine paused then took them back out. Without a word, she stood Dawn in the cart, helping her feed her legs into the pants then tugged them up. They stretched and conformed. Unfortunately, even Dawn could tell that they were merely an accentuator rather than a concealer… “Nothing.” Katherine lifted her back into the carriage seat then buckled her. “I want to be nice.” And she went back to pushing the carriage. That take was unexpected, but then again, it wasn’t. As Dawn remembered, apparently Katherine was so “prideful” about taking the high road, or whatever disillusioned path she set herself on. Her idea of kindness was exactly why their relationship was where it is. It didn’t change much in the grand scheme at all, but at least she finally had pants again... Did ya enjoy the chapter? Can't wait for more? It's a plug, but a good one! Read 4 more chapters of Illegal Immigrant and 3 more of Sheltered RIGHT NOW on my Patreon! For every 1 chapter that is released publicly, that means at least 2 more have been dropped on Patreon by then! Otherwise, no pressure, and please be patient for the next few weeks for the next public chapter to release! Thank you all so much for reading and commenting!

Gasp. Sheila strikes with a big sisterly motive?! Dare we even ask the question whether Joyce is being firm enough with Emily or not... Or at the very least, maybe she's left to her own devices a bit too often...! That's sort of what I was going for in this case. That being said, it's very funny and cool to think that some folks might have just as much or maybe even a slightly better understanding of the story's continuity than I do...!

Worry not, for Emily is a smart cookie. If the sleeper couldn't be taken off by herself, I don't think she would've been able to get it on, lol. However! Lest we not forget that Joyce made sure to have at least one of those kinds of outfits made...! Uh-oh. Something may have been awakened in Sheila... With Joyce and her personal "demons," it's really just her desires being allowed to fester. Though I think only with time Emily's growing herself and finding a better fit with her "role" that allows her to rise to the challenge! Thanks for the comment! I'm sure Sheila would be respectful of boundaries. Probably. But of course, I can totally see an angle with Sheila justifying all of this as more direct assistance for her boss...! Thank you for the comment! Blegh, you caught me again! More mistakes that I will not (knock on wood) be repeating again! Thank you for putting my feet on the fire with this stuff, haha. Slightly embarrassing, but I'd rather it be mentioned than ignored...! As for Sheila knocking, I don't necessarily have any diabolical reason for that. I figured it as knocking just because. Common courtesy sort of thing, or following through on a habit regardless of the situation? Yeah, I think Sheila's just about 90-95% in on the know now. Only thing that's left I think is to catch her temporary charge in a diaper? But given everything that's happened by this point, in business terms, it's probably just a formality. While there may be some advocates for Sheila, I do think she needs a reminder to restrain herself. Snooping for the sake of one's own curiosity I can't say counts as good intentions. Thank you very much! Yes, how will things go with Sheila? With Joyce?! So much suspense! Somebody better get the spray bottle. If corner time and stern talking-to's do it for Emily, surely something similar will work for the secretary? And yeah, it always starts out as curiosity, doesn't it? I'm sure Emily felt something similar at the start...! Though, just maybe, at least for Sheila, she may have yet to be completely honest with herself... Thank you for always leaving your thoughts!

40 - Out of Town “What?” “Mmmmfmmm.” Were her ears working properly? “C-come again?” Joyce tried not to smile. “Mmmmfmm!” “Wait, found the problem,” Joyce grinned, hooking the ring and pulling a pacifier out of Emily’s mouth. “Try that again?” “I said, what’re you gonna do without me tomorrow?” Emily rolled from one side of the bed to the other, all with her padded behind peering over a pajama pant waistband that was far too undersized for a girl in oversized protection. “I may not be a scholar, but I’m pretty sure that wasn’t what you were saying with that pacifier…” “Yes it was. You just need to keep studying,” Emily declared right before smothering her mouth into Pip. Joyce leaned forward on the bed, snatching Emily by the bare waist with her hands, dragging her back to the foot of the bed. “Mommy’s just about ready to give up. It might just be something meant for cute little tots like you?” “So you mean I’d have my own secret language that I can use to keep secrets from you?” “Maybe, but who else is just as fluent as you?” And in the midst of their chit-chat, Joyce tugged down the front of Emily’s pajama pants, feeling the warm front of her diaper before tugging it back up without a comment. A silent signal that a change had yet to be warranted. “And since we agreed on no secrets,” Joyce slightly paused for dramatic effect, and as a teeny tiny legitimate reminder, “I can only imagine you might be scheming about…hmm…playing hide and seek from me? Maybe hiding Mommy’s favorite pair of shoes? Trying to hide a soggy diapie from me? Huh? Huh?” “Stop!” Emily giggled, “No tickles! No secrets! I promise! Promise!” “And don’t forget it~,” Joyce sealed their pact with a kiss on the forehead. Then she sighed, “But yes, that is a very good question,” now she really was sulking, “what am I going to do without you tomorrow…” “I don’t mind going too?” Emily tried a route long-since shutdown once more. “Thank you for offering again,” Joyce smiled affectionately, “but you know that this dinner is going to run past your bedtime?” “I don’t have a bedtime…” Emily groaned. “You certainly do on business dinner nights?” Joyce raised her brow, but eventually softened her expression. “I want to bring you too, but since Carol invited me, it just wouldn’t be polite. Or at least, it’s important that it looks like a business trip and not a vacation...” “So are you gonna invest?” Now the night before the event, Emily admittedly was a bit curious. “Invest?” Joyce’s tone carried uncertainty, but optimism. “No idea. It may be all fetish stuff, but a good idea is a good idea. Though…I can’t exactly say I know a whole lot about fetishes.” The wolf was trying to pretend it was a sheep, but Emily with a grin kept that thought to herself. “What? You don’t?” Okay, maybe not. “And neither do you, missy,” Joyce fired right back with a little bit of competition. “Part of investing is about making educated guesses. Knowing what works from experience and figuring if there’s a market for it. Didn’t Carol mention something about fursuits when we were at their house?” Her face was covered in skepticism. “I wouldn’t even know the first thing…” “Maybe it’ll all be super weird and freaky stuff,” Emily openly marveled, “like…like super hardcore torture stuff? Or people that wear latex and have orgies?” Joyce wasn’t as well-versed as Carol, but she knew when her little girl’s mind was starting to run awry. “Maybe?” She shrugged. “But that’s what I’ll find out. More importantly, my flight is in the morning a little bit after around when you’d be waking up. Want me to give you my goodbye kisses before bed tonight?” Sometimes things just had to be done out of courtesy, regardless of whether you knew what the answer would be or not. Emily, giving the expected response with a dash of frowny-face, said, “No. I want you to wake me up tomorrow before you leave. Promise me?” With a pinky hooked with hers, Joyce leaned in, “Promise,” right before kissing her on the lips. “Maybe while I’m gone I can leave you with a babysitter?” “Excuse me?” “Just to keep you from getting bored?” Joyce shrugged nonchalantly, holding back the teasy part of her voice. “I have Pip,” Emily held the mochi defensively. “I’ll be fine.” “Relax, I’m kidding. Or I don’t have to be? Amy said she wants to double check some measurements, you know? You two could make a day out of it?” Emily narrowed her gaze, finally able to see a speeding bullet just peeking on the horizon. “I’m not wearing diapers for Amy.” “She didn’t say which measurements,” Joyce laughed. “Either way, if that was the case, the only way it’d happen is if she was fine with diapering you herself.” And Emily being okay with it at all, first and foremost. “What? I’d do it myself?” “No?” Joyce innocently, but firmly, put down her freedoms. “We agreed, remember? Little girls don’t get to change their own diapers?” “But strangers do?” Just where was Emily on this totem pole? “Grown-ups do,” Joyce corrected with a boop on the nose. “Grown-ups we both agree on.” “Which is only you,” Emily quickly added, suddenly feeling the slight need to make mention of such an important point. “Only Mommy,” Joyce nodded with a pearly smile. They laid there some more while Joyce absentmindedly traced circles in the comforter. “But…what would you think about including someone else?” “Huh?” There wasn’t any Jazz music or ambient noise that could be stopped to insinuate the jarring surprise, but the diaper crinkling certainly ceased. “I dunno,” Joyce shrugged, “I’m just thinking out loud. Like if there was someone else that could interact with you when you’re my baby girl?” “You mean…sharing me?” Was this actually Joyce she was speaking with? “No. Not sharing.” Joyce didn’t look happy to hear the ‘S’ word, which was something that finally made sense to Emily, given a slew of jealousy this woman was known to harbor. “Someone who…adds to the lifestyle? Does something for you that I can’t?” Emily at best was keeping a sideways look. “I mean…I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t like this now, sort of, but…I think you’re a big reason why I like it, Joyce…” she murmured her lips, avoiding eye contact, “...Mommy…” Joyce giggled, kissing her again. “And you’re one-hundred percent of the reason why I like it, my little Emmy.” She breathed quietly for a few moments before saying, “I guess I mean someone like…like an actual babysitter, or…or a private tutor that’s like your personal daytime daycare teacher?” “Are you being serious right now?” It wasn’t phrased in any sort of ridiculing way, but as a means to try and decipher fact from fiction when there were sparkles in Joyce’s eyes. “No…and yes…a little…” she exhaled. “If I’m being honest, I think I get carried away with my dreams a little bit…” “I think so too,” Emily giggled with her hands on her lover’s waist. “Besides, wouldn’t that risk your reputation or something? If something like that got out?” “Yes, but…” A mind with desires was the worst fiend to be in the company of. A pestering trickster that sat atop her shoulders 24/7 with as much time as it pleased to exercise reason and rationale just to make the impossible seem possible. “There’s…you know…discretion.” “I think you’re mommying a bit too hard, Mommy,” Emily spoke upwards to her star-gazing girlfriend. “I think so too… Maybe it’s Mommy’s bedtime? “Afraid so,” Emily sighed the most ‘oh my hopeless girlfriend’ sigh she could ever muster, then stood on her feet, hanging by the doorway. “Did you forget something?” Joyce asked from her spot on the bed, just as comfy as she was a few seconds ago. Apparently the mood hadn’t been mutually understood. “I…” Emily’s eyes shift down, then back at the door, then on repeat just a couple more times. “Weren’t we gonna…take it off?” “Change your diaper, honey?” Joyce innocently asked with a tone of syrup. “I just checked you, silly; I think you’ll be fine.” “But you’re leaving early tomorrow?” “And I think I’d be a bad mommy if I left my little girl in a wet diaper the entire time I’m on my trip, but just as bad if I let you go to bed without a diaper on?” Then with a cautious hand against her cheek she said in a lowered voice, “What if you have an accident, sweetheart?” “I…” Her cheeks were red, meaning an embarrassing talking-to had been well-executed. “I’ll have you all taken care of, Emmy,” she beckoned her back to the bed. “Or did you want to sleep in your crib tonight? We can do that too?” It didn’t take any more than that to get a padded waddle back over to the bed. “No. I’m fine.” “Good. I was hoping to snuggle all night? Just so I don’t forget what it feels like tomorrow?” Questions then went on to be answered with actions, and actions only beget more actions. Joyce, with such a ripe fruit hanging right before her, played Emily like an instrument. Hearing her embarrassed squirm, Joyce tugged down her pajama bottoms in full, past the ankles and soon onto the floor. “Hey…!” Emily whined, something she was unfortunately building a knack for. “Shush, it’s just in case,” Joyce couldn’t hide her rosy-cheek smile. “If you leak I don’t want you to ruin your pretty PJs?” “I won’t leak!” Emily could find pleasure in the idea of being small, but she wasn’t accustomed to playing make-believe about her bladder. “I know you won’t, because Mommy keeps you in the best-est diapers!” Joyce giggled again, kissing her all over. “And actually,” she paused to ponder a thought, “there was that one time when Mom and Dad were here; you did have an accident on the couch, sweetie? Remember?” “No I didn–!” Emily started to say, then the memory inserted itself and the embarrassment spread through her like a parasyte. “Th-that was different! That was just water! It was a…” And for lack of a better word under a panicked mind, Emily, bless her innocent soul, cried, “It was a different kind of accident!” And Joyce, overjoyed by her use of the a-word, only chuckled fondly. “And I love you no less,” she kissed her again. With such a limited bag of tricks already vetted by her Mommy, Emily played her strongest card, threatening, “Maybe I’ll just go sleep in the other bed tonight if you’re gonna tease me so much…” “Yeah?” Joyce caressed her cheek. “Wanna have some crib time?” “No. The other bed. My old room.” “That’s where the guests stay, silly. It’s either here with me in the big girl bed or in your crib?” Whether it was because Emily suffered from chronic gullibility or Joyce was simply good at forcing an atmosphere, an altered reality was all the diapered girl could see. Knocking her head into Joyce’s side, she laid there with her mind made up. “You’re like politics…” Emily grumbled. It didn’t make sense in such a characteristic way which is why Joyce could only start with a laugh. “Excuse me?” “Lesser of two evils, and stuff…” “Ah-huh… Well, before you push any of Mommy’s buttons, do you want something to drink before bed?” “Coffee Milk.” “Juice it is,” Joyce rose from the bed. “Stay put.” “I didn’t ask for juice!” Emily droned with a groan at the open doorway, which her girlfriend had already passed through. “Emmy? Baby?” Joyce made the first whisper of the morning into a sleeping Emily’s ear. “I gotta start getting ready now…you awake?” The sleepy and tired whine squeezed between her lips as she involuntarily stretched. “Hnnnmmm…!” With her eyes still closed, Emily’s hand probed itself around the bed, searching for the waist beside her and resting on it for as long as she could. Unfortunately it wasn’t long, to no one’s pleasure as only Joyce with her eyes open frowned to end the gesture so quickly. “I’m gonna get this diaper off you and into some big girl undies, ‘kay?” “Wha…what time is it…?” “Too early for you to be up,” she issued the tranquilizer with a tender kiss. “Keep those eyes closed, I gotta turn the light on.” A well-advised suggestion indeed, as even with her eyes shut Emily was rolling her face into the mattress just to escape the irritating light. A pair of hands found her waist as for just a brief moment her padded bum left the bed when Joyce tugged on the tapes of her diaper. It’d been wetter than last time Joyce checked last night, which was always nice to see. Though for Emily she was likely too tired to care, and would never admit how secretly appreciative she was becoming of its sponge-like qualities. And through the pillow Emily sleepily mumbled, “I’ll…in a second...too…” “Mhm?” Joyce whimsically cooed back, finding Emily’s sleep babble somewhat akin to a tyke rambling through a change. Her words didn’t need to have any meaning, and all Joyce needed to do was acknowledge and love right back. One trip to the nursery later and one trip back, Emily was where she was left on the bed, only naked from the waist down now, but not for much longer. It was mind-boggling to think of how much wearing diapers could force a paradigm shift or flip her world view. That’s to say, the shift back to panties was always a weird one when it felt like she wasn’t wearing anything at all, essentially. No more thickness, none of the crinkle to remind her of what she was wearing, and none of the intimate checks from her girlfriend either. Right as Joyce turned to leave, a hand of the living dead rose from its eternal slumber to snatch the wrist of the living. She turned her head to see Emily using her as a foothold for dragging herself out of bed. “No, no, silly,” Joyce laughed as she forced her back on the bed, “I said too early for a reason.” “No…” she started, then continued one yawn later, “diapers…no rules… I wanna be up when you leave…” “I thought we just agreed on goodbye kisses?” Seeing as her girlfriend had no intentions of abetting her efforts to stay awake, Emily slumped herself to the other side of the bed, finally rising from the torso and up. “And I gotta be awake for it…” And then on a whim, though feeling the most desirable, Emily asked, “Can I come to the airport with you?” “What? Emily, you should be in bed right now. No, no airports.” Stumbling onto her feet like a newborn doe, Emily crashed into Joyce’s arms. “Why not? Charles’ driving, isn’t he…?” Being tired made it so easy to act spoiled. “Can’t he just drive me back here?” It most certainly was possible, and more than likely not an issue. But for Emily’s sake, Joyce decided to rewrite reality. “No, because that’s not what I told him to prepare for, sweetheart. Besides, you know what’d happen if you went along for the ride, right?” “What?” “I’d definitely have to stuff a cutie like you in my suitcase then! Mwah! Mwah!” Between her giggles, Emily relented. “Okay…fine…” Joyce tugged her suitcase on wheels to the front entrance while Emily dozed around, half-slumped against the walls to support herself as she watched, barely managing to qualify as an alert spectator. In a blazer and slacks, Joyce couldn’t stop herself from kissing her panty-and-pajama-shirt girlfriend each time she had to pass by, or at least made up a reason to. And trying to be as much help as she possibly could, Emily asked, “And do you have…uhm…the stuff?” “Yes; I double, triple, then quadruple checked,” Joyce assured, even though “the stuff” was as clear as Emily’s current state of mind. One buzz later on Joyce’s phone and they were sharing their final embrace. “I’ll be back tomorrow in the afternoon, okay?” “Mhm…” Emily nodded, though trying not to come off as somber. “Stop it,” Joyce grinned, “this is a thousand times harder for me, you know? Alright, be good; call me if you need anything, because I’m definitely going to be calling you. There’s food in the fridge, no ice cream– don’t give me that look!” she warned, both playfully and not so playfully. “And most importantly, I love-love-love you very much!” “Love you too…” Emily came back with a blush, a hug, and a final kiss. “Promise me one thing?” Joyce asked. “What?” “Once I leave, go back to bed.” “...Fine.” And with that the door was opened and closed, and the penthouse was one less in attendance for more than 24 hours. For at least two of those, however, would immediately be spent going back to bed, per the warden’s order. “Joyce!” “Carol!” Just outside of the baggage pickup of the airport, they shared a hug before putting Joyce’s luggage in the car and driving off. “How was the flight?”Carol asked from the driver’s seat. “I’m sorry we couldn’t fly in together, by the way! I had to take care of some other stuff; I’m so glad you decided to come!” “I appreciate the invite, and yeah, the flight wasn’t too bad. I think I can only say that though because I always try to get a good seat… How’s Michael and Jackie, by the way?” “Good! They’re up to the usual, but Jackie wants to know when you two are coming over again!” she paused to laugh, “I’m so sorry! I think my daughter considers you two as part of her friend group.” After laughing herself, Joyce said, “Well it’s good to hear that everyone’s doing good. We’ll definitely have to get together again, sometime.” “Oh! I forgot! How’s Emily?” She couldn’t help herself when she let out a small phantom pain, “Awh~. I told her the only reason she couldn’t come to the airport with me was because I’d try and stuff her in my bag.” “Homesick already?” “Admittedly, yes…” Joyce awkwardly drew circles on her thigh. “Since we started…dating,” and how wonderful it felt to be able to say that, “this is the first time I’ve left on a trip. Normally I feel fine, but this time is just…” “Like you’re always anxious about how things are at home?” “Yes!” she blurted out immediately, then just as quickly recomposed herself. “I mean– Yes, it feels like that a lot…” It was a bit shameful the way she’d reacted, but it was also entertaining, given Carol’s laugh. “You remind me so much of when I first had Jackie! I didn’t get to have a whole lot of time off with her until I had to go back to work. Just going to the office was like torture; being away from her for so long. I tried to avoid trips like these as much as possible just to be home as much as possible. Only after Michael talked me out of it did I start getting comfortable again. At least for me, I’d call it Mother’s separation anxiety. I’m sure you’re probably going through a similar thing.” “Mm…” Now Joyce was the quiet one in the relationship, mulling over what likely was MSA. Mommy Separation Anxiety. Commonly confused with GSA, the girlfriend variant, though much more severe. “You could give her a call right now, you know?” “I want to, but if I’m right, she should still be asleep right now. She was up to see me out the door, but I made her go right back to bed afterward.” “Michael’s usually the same way, but if I have too many flights in too short of a time, he usually calls it ‘taking a rain-check’ on giving his goodbyes,” Carol snickered, “I don’t blame him. I don’t like getting up early either.” “You should see her,” Joyce was already digging at the thought in her head, “the poor thing barely handles early times just as much as late ones! I brought her to a business dinner a few weeks ago, and after just a few drinks…” Aimless wandering around the apartment unfortunately made for quite the terrible pastime. No Joyce meant no excitement, and all that was left was job hunting, but her boredom and unease from her girlfriend being away put her in a mood that didn’t want to do anything involved. Not only that, but Joyce probably wouldn’t give her the password to the parental lock on the computer. Maybe she should go out? Then her feet came to a halt once the thought had hit her. Go out and do what? By herself? The silence spoke of her awkwardness. “Maybe I should be friend hunting instead of looking for a job…” Was it bad that she was thinking of Amy right then? Was Joyce being serious about her wanting to come over? Was it still too late? Then she remembered the diapers. Without Joyce? Absolutely not. Never. It was bizarre how thoughts alone could make a person feel embarrassed. That one time alone was plenty enough anxiety-inducing. Besides, Emily wasn’t allowed to change her own diapers, so that would mean– Falling into her hands, she groaned aloud, “Urgggh…!” Of course she’d be able to put on her own diaper then! Joyce had wrapped her fingers around her so tightly, it was hard discerning left from right anymore. She loved it, truly, but if it couldn’t cloud her judgment at times… It was more than likely going to be a do-nothing day. A do-nothing day that included ice cream, whether her girlfriend liked it or not. She wasn’t here so Emily didn’t have to listen. That thought felt liberating, and quite empowering, actually. “Just a comfy, do-nothing day…” she whispered her plan, then nodded to herself once the confidence had been found. And on her way to the bedroom to find a nice pair of sweatpants, like a photo on the wall being slightly ajar, something caught the corner of Emily’s vision. A door that was usually closed had the slightest crack in it. It was enough to stop on a dime, enough to watch and stare for a good few seconds, and enough to slightly nudge the uncharacteristically unlocked door open just a smidgen more. And a little more. And just a little more. In an absolutely shocking turn of events, Emily was standing inside the nursery. Alone. Unattended. Unsupervised. It was a bit ridiculous, but an odd sort of giddiness or curiosity infected the woman standing there. Had Joyce forgotten to lock it? She usually doesn’t forget that kind of stuff, so to see a rare mistake like this was quite the oddity as well as treat. She imagined it as almost like witnessing behind the scenes of some grand picture or play. Being at your school in the dead of night; being somewhere at a time you’re not supposed to be. Without Joyce, her mommy, what power, if any, did anything in this room have over her? Lots, certainly, but all without the director to orchestrate it all. Maybe she could tease Joyce about forgetting later on the phone. Striking herself with a newly brilliant idea, Emily wandered over to the closet, stepping inside. There weren’t many, but all her specially designed outfits hung on the racks, freshly cleaned and ready to be worn. Mischief may have been her cause, because half the reason she stayed in this room was simply because she could never imagine getting a chance like this again. Getting to explore the nursery by herself? Without consequence or reprimand? A small smile grew on her face. She was trying to get comfy, wasn’t she? The perks to having been babied already meant acquiring some kind of tolerance for it at this point. She’d still blush, she’d still go quiet and meek, but that at least meant by now she could certainly tolerate herself. She looked back at the mirror as she held up the footie pajamas against herself. It was cute…naturally, considering Amy had made it. And she was by herself. Alone. She could wear it, be comfy, put it back after, lock up the nursery herself, and no one would ever know. No one. Excitement and intrigue were dangerous things, because Emily didn’t even recognize herself anymore as she stripped her shirt, unzipped the back of the pajamas and stepped inside. The inside was lined with a cool, soft material, like a soothing hug all over. It was strange, but the secure feeling she got as she watched herself in the mirror trace the zipper up her back was wonderfully suffocating. Since when did she enjoy stuff like this? Her confused look warbled into a bashful grin. Joyce had been her constant drug and she was probably starting to form an addiction. She bent and stretched, just to feel and watch the pajamas conform and follow her every move. It was silly, but that’s why she couldn’t help but laugh. But most importantly, it was comfy, far more so than what sweat pants would afford her, which is why she kept it on. Leaving everything as it was, she resumed her trip to the bedroom, only to grab Pip and head over to the couch. Turning on the tv and finding a nice spot, she was all set. “So it doesn’t officially ‘start’ until later tonight,” Carol explained with air quotes, “but usually we get together for drinks beforehand.” Joyce listened as she unpacked. “That’s fine by me. Though…I don’t suppose I could have a little coaching on what to maybe expect? I am curious, but I guess I don’t want to look completely like a fish out of water…” Scouting investment opportunities wasn’t a foreign concept to her, but in the way of kinks certainly was. “Don’t worry; everyone at this event is extremely professional. After all, they want our money,” Carol laughed, and so did Joyce. “Sure, I can tell you a little bit about what I’ve seen in the past. Before that though, maybe you want to try giving Emily a call? I know I’m gonna call back home.” She may have just been looking for the go-ahead, because Joyce was already pulling out her phone. “Yes, definitely. Is it okay if I borrow the bathroom?” “All yours.” A few minutes later Joyce was sitting on the edge of the tub with her phone held against her ear, waiting for the quiet buzz. “I was expecting that to take a little longer?” Carol sounded surprised as she finished hanging up her phone. “Me too,” Joyce sounded a bit glum, “I tried twice;” she chuckled, “she’s probably napping right now, if I had to guess.” “Did she have any plans for today?” “Mm…don’t think so. I think it might be just a lazy day for her. She might be feeling bored, though…” “Maybe you should’ve gotten her a babysitter then?” Carol chuckled. With her mind elsewhere, almost a bit too seriously Joyce let her unfiltered thoughts slip when she started to say, “Maybe…” Then caught herself a second later. “--Uhm, but… No, she’s fine, I’m sure. I’ll try calling her later.” “Sure,” Carol nodded with a smile. “Should we get going then?” “Sounds good to me.” Sleep was quite dangerous, and no other opinion could be offered otherwise. Losing blocks of time to just emptiness or dreams that kept the distracted mind entertained. Without alarm clocks or doting girlfriends the passage of time if left unchecked could be robbed entirely by the sleep demon. Emily groggily awoke to the sound of knocking, a half-slumbering mess as she rose from the couch. She yawned with Pip in her arm, near-stumbling over herself as her bare feet through the cuffs of her pajamas padded across the floor. She’d done it. She had slept the entire day away and then some. It was already tomorrow and Joyce was back. Sleeping for so long really could put a spell of guilt on a person. Imagine losing an entire day simply because your lover was gone? It sucked, but Emily couldn’t help but smile, knowing that Joyce was finally back! She wanted to know how the investment event went. Did she see anything weird? Meet anyone new? Was she buddies with Carol now? Emily debated waiting for Joyce to come in herself, just so she could lunge at her on no-heel days like she always did, but once she heard another knock, it became quite clear that Joyce had forgotten her key. Just like she’d forgotten to lock up the nursery. Apparently Emily wasn’t the only frazzled one. With her free hand on the door she unlocked and opened it, saying as she did so, “How did you forget so much stu–” “Oh?” “S-...” It was an intruder. A stranger. It wasn’t Joyce. What the hell was going on? Emily wanted to move for the door, but she was frozen. Not frozen, just scared, shell-shocked and frazzled. Rather, she even took a step back, the fool that she was. And like that it was too late. The person had entered, beyond the barrier that could’ve separated them once again. “E…Emily?” the person asked. And only then did it fully click. A name had come to mind. Did all the associated memories flood her head. “Sh…Sheila?” Emily quietly, in a painfully small voice whispered back. Sheila stood in front of her, bewildered and surprised to see Emily as much as she was to see her. She was in casual, modest attire with a purse over her shoulder. Emily could barely find the words as she looked up at her, then remembered herself what she was wearing. At least Emily was caught at a good time. Thankfully, no diapers to be seen and just her big-girl panties. Though, a silver lining like that didn’t matter when they were underneath her loud and colorful footie pajamas. The cherry on top though was the tightly clutched Pip by her side, only short by a special blankie for the full set. Her eyes couldn’t seem to look away from the girl. From her clothes. “Uhm…” Sheila broke the silence, blinking once or twice before reaffirming herself. She turned her head back to the doorway, stepping over just to close the door, committing them both inside. “Emily, right?” Emily would have liked to believe that she sounded normal, yet in a very objective squeak she said back, “Y-Yeah…” She wanted to bolt. She wanted to run, but her frozen emotions made it impossible to move. Just like for Sheila, she too remembered the last time that they had met. The memories for her however came much more vividly, on account of having far less substance in her bloodstream that night. Everything she’d done for Emily. She remembered that it was her job to watch her while Ms.Summers was working the rest of the dinner. It was her job to get Emily in her pajamas and into bed. It was her job to find her stuffed animal, or toy, or… “that,” was as best as she could describe when she instantly recognized the item being tightly squeezed by the girl. A litany of questions were already flooding the secretary’s head, which only inflated her sense of curiosity; a difficult thing to satisfy with anything other than the truth. “Wh…why…” The sound of a quiet and socially frightened Emily finally made Sheila snap out of it. “Oh! I…I’m sorry about the surprise. I’m here to pick up some of Ms.-- I mean Joyce’s files she brought from the office.” Since that night at the hotel Sheila had kicked the habit as soon as she formed it when it came to addressing her boss. It felt strange to use her last name around Emily. Like expecting a kid to know their parents as nothing but “mom” or “dad.” Why that was the comparison she thought of though was a different question entirely. Emily, while she tried not to implode from sheer embarrassment, paced the thoughts in her mind as to how Sheila could have come unannounced. It seemed very out of place, and so did Joyce forgetting things, but Sheila was trustworthy, or at least she was supposed to be. Joyce told Emily to see her as such, after all. “Do you want to call Joyce to double check?” Sheila asked with a step back into the shoe area. “I don’t mind waiting.” It was clear Emily felt uneasy and now it was mutually known. Emily frowned apologetically, “It’s…it’s not that, it’s just…” “It’s all right,” Sheila smiled, “Do you want me to call her? I could also give–” “No…I have her number…one second.” Emily disappeared a second later. Sheila left alone then put a hand to her mouth, perplexed and staring at the floor. What was she thinking? Why did she say that? Did her boss’ girlfriend really need help calling her? What kind of question was that? And offering to give her a number? Belittling and insulting was all it was, and only guilt was what she felt for it. Maybe it was those…objectively cute footie pajamas that she was wearing, and how they were interacting last time. How Ms. Summers interacted with Emily last time. After all, she worked that night as a babysi–...a caretaker. More importantly, did Emily live here now? Her boss was almost always well-equipped, but if she was perfect, then Sheila would be out of a job. Hence why some of the work like this could come about. Sheila prided herself in her diligence and dedication to her work which was ensuring smooth-sailing for her boss. That included access to her outside of the office, like the spare key she had stowed away now in her purse. She’d only been to Ms. Summers new apartment once before for a similar situation, but there was no girlfriend then, as far as she could tell. Soon a furry pajama-wearing pipsqueak returned with a phone nursed against her ear. “Did Joyce know you were coming?” “I made sure to let her know earlier today, though I know she had some kind of non-work event that she needed to attend.” Non-work was certainly uncharacteristic of her, which is why Sheila could only guess in certain areas, but an unattended Emily certainly seemed out of place, what with how protective her boss had seemed. Emily didn’t answer back as she listened to the constant pulsing buzz from her phone. Why wasn’t Joyce picking up? Was she busy? It was maybe just the shock of not being Joyce, but stress was all she felt from dealing with an unexpected visitor. And then another unsettling thought had hit her. It was Sheila. The Sheila. The middleman Sheila. The one who handled all Joyce’s private affairs. Satisfied her requests. Got things done. Got things made. Got…diapers… “Not picking up?” Sheila asked, who started to pick up on the reservedness Emily was starting to show. Come to think of it, she did look like she was napping before she came to answer the door. Voicemail. Of all people, Joyce had missed a call? Emily frowned, maybe partly out of selfishness, truly believing her own issue to be important and worthy enough of her attention. But whatever the reason, Joyce wasn’t here now and the situation had come to Emily’s discretion. “She didn’t pick up… She’s not supposed to be back til tomorrow,” Emily said, finding a conveniently sewn front pocket on her footie pajamas to stash her phone. The moment she made use of it, the secretary’s eyes followed the entire time. “...But it’s fine. We’ve met before and…you seem…nice, so…” After a long second, Sheila looked up from her pajama pocket. “I-Is it okay if I take my heels off? I don’t want to leave any marks on the floor.” Emily quietly gestured for her to do so. “Did…you need to go to her office?” “Please. I’ve been here once before though, so I should be able to find the way?” “Oh, then uhm, in that case I’m just gonna go change real quick if you need anything…” Emily was fast disappearing. But fast enough. “Wait,” Sheila called, and something dreadful, maybe a switch inside Emily’s brain meant for someone else had just been unexpectedly flipped. “Are you changing for my sake?” It was an extremely forward question. One that came on impulse. “I’d rather you didn’t just because I’m here?” “It’s…it’s not that…” It totally was. And if looks could kill, surely it was Emily’s bashful face wandering about, and it was a lock of hair twirled around her nervous finger that struck the final blow to Sheila’s petrified heart. Sheila brought a hand to her mouth like she was about to cough. “I…really don’t mind?” She didn’t mind, nor was she looking forward to seeing the sight leave. Why did it matter though? She just didn’t want to be the reason such a sweet thing was ruined. And if Emily folded, it would have been an indirect admission to Sheila hitting the nail right on the head. And she had, but Emily was still debating whether to lie and save some visual face. Regardless, her comfort zone must have been lost in transit, feeling bare and exposed right then. “I…I’ll be in the kitchen if you need anything…” Sheila watched her leave, admittedly (only to herself) doing something she probably shouldn’t have. It was simple curiosity; nothing she would ever act on or respond to. Something she simply wanted to know just because. And she probably had her answer. No crinkle, no puff. What could have been under those pajamas likely wasn’t. Things had changed somewhat since her last visit, but thankfully the walls and floor plan wasn’t one of those. Take a left in the living room, walk down the hall, and at the end should be… But a new nugget of information had stopped her in her tracks. What she remembered about the apartment were two bedrooms, a bathroom, and an office. A living room, a kitchen; the works. All that and one room for storage. Boxes, furniture in hibernation… And as she had made her walk to the office, from the corner of her eye she couldn’t help but see what was most certainly not a storage room. The walls as she remembered were unpainted and white. Not cream. A simple and unused room had no need for drapes, nor a carpet, or a mirror, or a…large crib, or a cushioned table…with… A doorway with a door only half ajar could show only so much, which wasn’t a lot at all. What it did show was a sliver of something much bigger, and such a small taste enticed Sheila’s curiosity like pure dopamine. The intrigue and suspicions she’d worked so hard to choke, punch down and hide away as a result of everything her boss only ever alluded to were rising from the ashes with vitality and force, demanding to be answered like an itch that was begging to be scratched. What she saw was far more than from just a half-glance through a half-open door. What she saw was from standing dead-center inside the nursery, because that’s where she was. There were certainly lines in her work relationships that should not and could not be crossed, and as the secretary’s heart rate picked up from stimulus intake, she was fairly certain that the line was sitting way back at the doorway. Unless her boss had a second secretary taking similar orders, Sheila could not mistake the two baskets filled to the brim with all-too-familiar looking diapers. Ignorance would have asked if they were for her boss, or maybe a third someone she had yet to meet. And yet, there, in the apartment, sitting in the kitchen, footie pajamas, stuffed animal and all, was the primest suspect who could easily have been carrying the same scent of powder Sheila could smell in this room. This nursery. It was certainly weird, but strangely, very strangely, fascinating. She’d never even seen something like this, much less conceived it. A nursery for a giant baby? An…adult baby? A few seconds later Sheila was by the changing table, pressing her hand curiously on the cushioning. It felt sturdy, well-designed. Another custom piece? BabyMaker. Another synapse fired and another connection had been made. For the first time she finally turned around and jumped in shock, just stifling a full-blown yelp! She’d been spotted. She was seen! But…she wasn’t… but she was. A large, stuffed bear sat in the corner of the room. A large, large bear. Big enough for a smaller-sized person to be enveloped by completely. Then she spotted the closet. And already waist-deep in what was surely a violation of privacy, Sheila’s sensational self took hold and tip-toed forward, quietly turning the handle and peering inside. It was certainly a half-empty kind of closet, but what caught her by surprise the most was an entire other machination waiting for her. A…giant chair? A chair with a table? Once it clicked her eyes grew wider. It was a highchair, but of course for an adult, and yet that seemed to mitigate the shock no less. She quietly closed the door, turning back around to take in the bizarre room all over again. Her eyes fixated on the crib. A bed where someone could sleep. An adult could fit in it. An…Emily, even. The footie pajamas. Cute. Colorful. Just like everything else in this room. The numbers were crunching faster than she could process coherent thoughts and the conclusions were already writing themselves…! This wasn’t just a stranger’s room. This was Emily’s room. She…lived like this? As a…for lack of a better word, a baby? Sheila tried to find the logic to refute, yet she had anything but. It was obvious to say that she’d walked in on something she was absolutely not meant to see, and yet the guilt hardly matched the immense intrigue and satisfaction for having her old wounds of not knowing freshly opened and satisfied beyond belief. And so, somehow finding her way back to reality, Sheila stepped out of the nursery, setting the door back to how it was as best she could. As much as she wanted to observe Narnia for a little bit longer, Sheila tried to remember her reason for coming here in the first place, walking off to the in-home office. “Sheila?” The woman adorning her glasses nearly slipped and fell on her backside, the surprise caught her so badly. Quietly cursing herself for stockings being the work attire of the night, Sheila put on her best smile as she turned around. Still in her footies…! “Y-yes?” “Uhm…I just remembered…” Emily couldn’t have sounded more bashful if she tried. Stretching her hands along her front, she half mumbled, “It’s…well, Joyce got some software stuff on her computer, so I don’t know if you’ll be able to use it…” How was she supposed to explain to her girlfriend’s secretary that her workstation had a parental blocker on it because someone was too irresponsible? “Software?” Sheila asked, but the conundrum solved itself in the span of speaking the very word. “Ah! She has parental controls on them, doesn’t she?” Sheila kept half-glancing Emily’s way, but she slowly gravitated towards the office. She knew?! “Is that what it is?” Emily awkwardly laughed. “I wouldn’t know– I only heard her talk about it…one time…” It wasn’t even intentional. Sheila was a problem-solver by nature. Even as a bystander she couldn’t help but observe. Think. Make her own conclusions. “Joyce gave me the information just in case something like this happened. I should be all set.” “Oh, uhm, okay…” Another thing that Joyce knew that Sheila knew, but Emily didn’t. With Sheila’s back turned to the girl, Emily couldn’t help but frown. Trust Joyce. Trust Sheila… Being that Emily was no tech whiz by any means, hearing someone type at what sounded like a professional level was certainly intimidating. By the time Emily could finish a sentence, Sheila was likely forwarding three different drafted emails. The only digits she had that knew how to type were the short, opposable ones that could only text. “Does Joyce keep a lot of stuff from work on her computer?” “Yes, but she usually sends me everything. She must have been in a rush so she didn’t get the chance.” Even mommies forget stuff, apparently… Had Emily not already forgotten, she’d be thinking that same thought twice over now instead of one. It reached a point when Sheila was sitting in the computer chair, typing away, signing onto the company VPN, opening files, preparing an email– Oops! This executable requires parental permissions to be used at this time. Please enter the password below: Not surprising. Sheila got Joyce the license, after all. Like many things, this password was just a drop in the bucket of how many things Sheila could and did retain on a daily basis. And just as she was about to type, a pair of padded feet evening themselves out on the hardwood floor reminded her of who was watching. Emily obviously noticed she stopped too. For what reason? And maybe it was not the best action, and maybe it wasn’t the best impulse. She could have stayed quiet and simply put in the password; it likely would have been too fast for her to see, anyway. And yet, already being such a slave to her instincs tonight, Sheila couldn’t help herself and asked: “Did Joyce say if you could see the password?” The tiny zipper on Emily’s footie pajamas jingled. It was demeaning. It was rude. Amounting the woman to just a child that needed rules. Supervision. It was bad. Sheila knew it. But a tickled side of herself was begging for the question to be asked. Begging to confirm what had to be absolutely true. Stroke her ego. Stroke her bias. To Sheila’s credit she wasn’t smiling. It sounded like a genuine question because it was one. Emily was no longer there. Instead, the stiffest board of wood you could find in the northern hemisphere had suddenly erected itself in a pair of pajamas. Needless to say, Sheila’s question cut deep. Of course she was going to say she could know! She’d mention that it was for Joyce’s nephew who totally visited all the time, and actually drew a really cute picture for them on the fridge! She was absolutely going to lie just to save her own skin. She was… Surely… Maybe it was the eyes. Maybe it was because she was sitting in Joyce’s chair, so she had the same demeanor? Right? Was it the footie pajamas making her feel like this? “Emily?” Her patient reminder hit Emily like a hammer. Shit! She asked again! Had she been quiet for that long? A second? Multiple seconds?! Emily’s toes tried to burrow themselves, but the shiny wooden floor and her closed-feet clothing was having none of it. But why? Why?! Why couldn’t she just lie? Ashes wasn’t here, so what the hell had her tongue?! And in her most pathetic play yet, Emily stuttered out an awkward laugh. “A-ahm…! I actually…I’m gonna get some water? Do– do you want any?” “No thank you,” Sheila smiled. No, she did something else. Yes, she smiled, but there was something else in that smile. Emily may not have noticed, but Sheila sure did. A smirk? Did I just smirk at her? Too embarrassed to own up to the child lock, Emily was gone. After a few good seconds of no return, Sheila quietly huffed, hanging her head back for just a second, then put in the password. iluvPeaches27 Passwords were supposed to be random. Yet as of late, nothing felt random anymore. Emily was hunkered down in the kitchen again, staring down at the transparent substance in her glass. She didn’t even want water; she just wanted to live her lie so well that it didn’t feel like one. Uncomfortable memories of second grade were bubbling up for some reason. She loved her former teacher, Ms. Lox, but some days in second grade were downright terrifying when work didn’t get done. The days she didn’t do her homework were like public executions the next morning. When the teacher came around to collect everyone’s assignment and was nearing poor elementary-level Emily. And when she was just with Sheila a moment ago, it wasn’t Sheila that was sitting. It was Emily still in her grade school desk with her expectant, discerning teacher right beside her. The embarrassment was burned into her memory to this very day. The fake excuses she would give. “I’m still looking for it!” she would say, falsifying the search for a finished document that didn’t exist. And Ms. Lox would know it, too. She’d keep walking while Emily drowned in shame, slowing down the movement of her hands, the rummaging of her folders and notebooks as soon as Ms. Lox was speaking to another student. She was forever known as the girl who couldn’t admit the truth. Well, at least for the rest of the class for just that afternoon... Second grader’s memories were quite fickle, thankfully. But the point still stood. She’d just been Ms. Lox’ed by Sheila. She just Ms. Lox’ed herself! Her heart still dwelling on memories stumbled with a horrible jolt as soon as she heard a pair of teacher’s heels. Shit! Her homework wasn’t done yet! But she sighed in quiet relief when she remembered that it wasn’t second grade anymore. Peering around the corner, she saw Sheila sitting on the edge of the floor, slipping on her heels. “Did…did you get everything?” “Hm?” Sheila turned her head, stunned all over again by the sight. It was her niece about to be sent off for bed. Was she about to be asked for a goodbye hug, next? Finally remembering to speak and smile, “...Yes, mhm! Everything I needed.” Yes, everything and so much more. With a quiet nod, not knowing any other way than to just stick around as a means of sending her off, Emily patiently waited for Sheila to leave. “Do I need to go turn off the computer, or anything?” Emily’s eyes wandered over to the living room where the route to the office was. “...No,” Sheila shook her head, dragging her mind back from somewhere else. “I…um, I took care of it.” She slowly draped her hand over the handle. “Okay. Well, er, have a good night?” With a hand behind her back, Emily offered a small wave. No. Absolutely not. Never. Impossible. It simply could not happen. It couldn’t end like this. “E…Emily?” Sheila retracted her hand and turned away from the door. “Have…have you had your dinner yet?”

Hey, this is my official toss into the contest hat. Story's right here If there's any additional information I need to provide to make it eligible, sorry and please let me know what I can do!

Thank you very much! Thanks! Unfortunately, I have no continuations for this planned at the moment! Them's the breaks, I suppose! I get a lot of requests for continuations on shorts, which is flattering in its own right. That being said though, if I don't call it out as a chapter or a part in the title, it can typically be inferred as a one-and-done. Sometimes like in this case I'll give my once-per-story comment that it probably won't be continued unless there are the right circumstances. Truthfully, I have plenty of shorts that I'm writing and already have posted that I'd never want to continue. It's either because I don't want to try adding anything else to what I'm already happy with, or I just don't have any interest. A lot of these scenarios can be just things I want to capture a snapshot of, not build another entire multi-chapter series around. Though, as far as being a usable universe goes, something like that is always in the cards. That's the fun part about trying to create suspense around ABDL stuff in a story that you might be able to imagine will somehow include diapers at some point. I find it difficult to create situations for that sometimes. I want to deliver a punch fast and quick, but also with some description and detail to get it there. For example, alluding to the shock, then taking multiple paragraphs or lines to actually "reveal" it when its already clear before then just what's going to happen. Thanks for reading and commenting!

As a disclaimer, this is a CONTEST ENTRY for Kasarberang's Contest. Though, call me a cheater, but I’m double dipping with this as an entry for two contests, though the other one is just cuz it still works I think. Please enjoy! The world was changing, and yet only half the population cared to pay any heed or mind to it. Half, approximately, assuming there was an even split between men and women. I sat pensively on the train, trying to feel at least a little hypnotized by the slight jostles, rocks or bumps the cars may feel from the old and used railroads sprawling throughout the subway system. But I hardly felt at ease today, and even more sick to my stomach than usual. I’d been dealing with the onset of disaster for so long now that I was probably a matter of days from it no longer being just the signs of what I feared. Any day now could be the arrival. “Hey…? I’m talking to you, you know?” A soft voice nudged. I kept my head looking down at the floor from my seat, but I couldn’t ignore the couple flirting right nearby. Likely another product of the same system that was affecting all of us. The same movement. “I’m…I’m listening,” I could hear her sheepish lover reply. Were they lovers anymore? Likely just the loved and once loved by this point. “I was asking you what you wanted for dinner tonight, silly. Were you distracted? Or…oh! Did you…?” “No!” He raised his voice that’d certainly warrant stares, but I sure didn’t. It was my best guess that no one did either. I needed none of the context nor the visual to know that it was all some unfortunate byproduct of a malignant force affecting all of us; all-consuming. “It’s…it’s nothing… I don’t care what we eat.” “Don’t be like that…!” she whined back in a tender voice. She spoke like it was only them inside this packed train car. “I can make your favorite?” It’s not that I wanted to hear their conversation, but everyday made it harder to tune out conversations like these if it meant having to go deaf entirely. Maybe it was morbid curiosity, wondering what the future might look like for myself. The goosebumps were infecting my skin and I could feel them creep from underneath my suit jacket and button-up shirt. I wouldn’t get to hear the end of their chat though, once the train came to a groaning, screechy halt and a synthetic female voice announced over the intercom that it was my stop. “Mikey? Come on, this is us,” a woman announced to her boyfriend. Spouse, maybe? It hardly seemed to make a difference, nor was there any seeming distinction in treatment anymore. All that remained was lingering attachment for what once was and will no longer be. I watched multiple couples with all the same kind of lead take themselves off the train with me following in tow. My heart was beating a mile a minute, hardly able to keep my eyes straight. It was all superstition that was eating away at me, but unfortunately the well-placed kind. Something inevitable that I had no power over. Something that– “Oh!” A woman gasped in front of me. In my internalized moment of panic, I wasn’t watching where I was going and walked straight into the back of someone. I went back on my butt, but she didn’t. As she turned around a sick feeling welled up in my stomach. Shit! The one thing I had to do; go unnoticed and not make waves. In trying so hard to disconnect myself from reality I’d become blind enough to collide right with it. “Honey, are you alright?” She didn’t reach out her hand, and I knew her as only the stranger of many that apparently used the subway. Yet I assure you that in spite of all the madness this world was seeing, disregarding social etiquette was not normal. Or maybe it was now, and the new normal was just to embrace the madness. She didn’t reach out her hand, but she reached out both hands. Her arms, too. She was partly bending over, taking advantage of the little meek me who was still five steps behind trying to think of a response that wouldn’t land me in hot water. By the time I was ready to say something, this woman was assertively lifting me by the armpits and back on my feet. Her brow was furrowed as she fussed all over me, going as far as to dust off my backside. One might call it sexual harrassment, but that was of a different time. Maybe a few years ago it would have held some weight, but now everything’d become as light as a feather. “Sweetheart?” she asked me again, and I blinked in worry, realizing that I was too engrossed in a conversation with myself that I hadn’t verbalized since my mandatory goodbye to my boss at the office. “Y-Yes,” I replied quietly, underneath the bustling crowds and cacophony of train noises, scheduling departures, and other couples. “I’m…fine…” I wasn’t fine. Far from it. Physically? Maybe. The springtime of my youth, as I liked to think. Assuming that’s what early 20s could be called. Mentally, though? Life was certainly taking its fun in fileting away at that. I looked up at her, nearly wincing when I saw her tilt her head with a curious smile. I wanted to blush, feel bubbly over what felt like genuine affection; flirt back, even. But I didn’t because I didn’t believe that any of it was what I wanted it to be. Well, that and because I was a faithful man. And then the line of questioning began. “Are you here by yourself? Actually–” she peered over her shoulder, seeing much better above the crowd than I could. “It’s a bit stuffy here, isn’t it?” She chuckled while she slipped a loose hair behind her ear. “Why don’t we go somewhere a bit more quiet?” I looked out at her extended hand. “I…I should go…” I did my best to diffuse myself from the situation, but all that did was put a concerned look on the woman’s face. “It’s okay, honey,” she suddenly met me more than halfway, going the full distance to grab my hand by my side. “I just wanna talk.” Her grip was solid. Soft, yet firm. From all the feats I’d seen as an onlooker and all the women I had witnessed lift and move with might, my will to physically resist had been quashed quite early on. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but I wanted to be the one to disarm myself from her. I wanted to have the courage, intellect, and charisma to talk myself out of this. To convince someone part of the hivemind for the first time that I was independent and could be let go. Give back to myself at least a shred of agency. But the moment I could see the crowd thinning out, enough to see a few feet on either side of us, I could see the door, sign, and destination we were headed. So in a panicked, shameful moment, I raised my voice and shouted, wiggling my arm in her hand. I wiggled not to try and break free, but to make my sleeve droop and slip down my arm. “W-wait!” I begged to her back, “L-Look! See?” The woman barely even glanced, like by this point it didn’t really matter what I said, and unfortunately I knew how true that was. But I still played my last card. My only card. The one weapon I had that wasn’t even mine. Someone else’s that had been forced on me. Her half-glance over the shoulder was enough, because I could tell she was having a double-take once she saw my wrist. We stopped and she turned around. “You already have a…?” Whether it was really hers or manufactured, the disappointment in her voice was thick and heavy, like she was just denied from an Ivy League school. I didn’t even try to fight back when she tried to wedge her nail between my bracelet and wrist as a last ditch attempt. I didn’t stop her because I was dreadfully aware of its strength. I was able to tug my hand free, solely because she had lost the will and simply allowed me to. “I…” And yet my embarrassment and shame were at an all-time high, having to rely on what I feared and hated the most. “I should go…” Nothing else needed to be said. She was the enemy, but she wasn’t a foolish one. She knew what it meant, and so did I. “Be safe…” she said in a sad voice, standing where she stood, seeing me off. Hurriedly I tugged back down my sleeve as I scrambled up the steps. I tried to stay inconspicuous for the few more minutes I had to go home. It wasn’t terribly often when moments like that happened, but the frequency was undeniably going up. Once or twice a month at first, but now once or twice a week for sure. The outcome never changed, but it made me sick having to solve it the same way every time. I opted for the road typically less traveled, meaning the strongest likelihood of not seeing anyone by taking the stairs over the elevator. Traveling eight tiers of floors I walked down the hall, feeling the pace of my heart rate coast from the adrenaline of exercise to anxiousness. Was today finally the day? Was it when my final oasis dried up and a new reality set in? Nervously, I slipped my key in the door, turning the lock, stepping inside. “I…I’m home!” I called out to the apartment. And my heart melted the moment I heard her voice. “Hey…!” Kailey called back, and I instantly felt at ease. The same voice and tone she always had the past two years we had been together. The same loving, feisty voice she had in public and in bed. My sweet, beautiful, sexy girlfriend whom I never wished to part with. After kicking off my shoes, I followed the light and poked my head into the kitchen, spotting her. I caught her mid-slurp of a large wooden spoon, standing by a boiling pot of something. I could smell it already. Pasta with tomato sauce. My absolute favorite. I couldn’t help but smile the moment she gave me hers. “Hey!” she greeted me again and it made my heart overjoyed. Without a word I came in for a hug, wrapping my arms around her waist. “Ah-ah! Wait! Wait!” Kailey begged me with a giggle, disarming me with ease as she gently put some distance between us. “Look at me!” She swept her hands down at herself, showing off the stained apron. “Geez,” she frowned disapprovingly, “look at you!” My once-white shirt now had a stain of red on it. But I hardly cared. Not after what I just went through at the subway. I needed something to feel right again, and that’s exactly what Kailey was, and now this tomato sauce too. “I can wash it later,” I said dismissively, coming in for a kiss, and she did respond lovingly. And as I was recharging, the look on Kailey’s face changed. It was concern, and that made me uneasy. The one thing Kailey could do to make me upset was indicate that she was privy to the outside world. She wasn’t a stay-at-home girlfriend that only dealt with me. She worked and was a contributing member of society. A part of that society. “It happened again, didn’t it?” My shoulders drooped just the slightest bit. I always hated wearing my emotions on my sleeve. Once upon a time it was fun being an open book to your lover, but not anymore. Not in this kind of world. “It’s nothing; I’m just glad to see you?” But she knew. She always knew. “Did you show her your bracelet? Like we practiced?” Kailey asked with a hand on her hip. I tried not to frown. I hated when she was like this. She was the one thing that was the antithesis to the world outside these four walls. My one reason for thinking that things could still be normal for me. For us. In ways we’ve already had to adapt, but for the most part we were still just us. Boyfriend and girlfriend. “Y-yes,” I mumbled, trying to get past this. “It’s done and over with now, okay? How was your day at work, was it good?” Maybe my emotions were a bit easy to read, but I could at least tell some of the looks on my girlfriend as well. It was her signature, ‘I still want to keep talking about this’ face. But we didn’t. “It was good…” she started slowly before turning back to stir the pot. Good, we were successfully changing the subject. “Actually, I got out even earlier than usual today, so I got to do some errands. Oh! And remember my coworker? Martha? I was chatting with her today and she mentioned the park a few blocks over? She said there’s gonna be some kind of show and I thought we might be interested?” “Yeah? Music?” Rock was always a nice reprieve. “Should be some fun tunes,” she nodded. “I was thinking that I could make us some sandwiches and we’d go?” I was a much bigger fan of indoor at-home activities, but Kailey always knew how to give me strength. “Sure,” I smiled. “Sounds good.” “Great! And how was work for you?” Her interest subsided for a second-hand frown. “Those girls better have stopped harassing you…” “It was fine…” I glossed over with a sigh. “And don’t worry about them; it’s fine…” It was easy for me to say that now that Kailey was in the same room as me. My beacon, my pillar. She was overprotective of me and I liked to see that as her way of shielding us from how much society had changed in such little time. How topsy-turvy everything had become. She set the spoon down just to turn and look at me. “I worry about you, you know?” “Thank you, I appreciate it. I worry about you too.” “I know you do,” she smiled with her pearly whites. Then her eyes started to wander away from mine, starting to sound a bit less certain. “I…could always start picking you up, you know…?” “Kailey, n-no. That’s fine. Really… We’ve…we’ve already talked about this.” “I know we’ve talked about it,” she sunk her hands into the front pocket of her apron, “but I really want you to think about it? Oliver, don’t you want strangers to stop walking up to you on the street?” “But that’s why we agreed to this stupid bracelet, didn’t we?” In a small burst of frustration I flashed the emasculating jewelry on my wrist. “So I could still keep things the way that they should be?” Kailey frowned. “Yes, to keep you safe. Oliver, you know those bracelets are only good until the end of the year.” The end of the year. So many months away, and yet the time until then was burning away like we were hurtling towards the sun. Her face softened as she tried me with another plea of reason, “Look, my workplace is already letting me out early? Because they think that I’m already using this time to come and get you?” “Yeah,” I hurriedly tried to deflect and dodge, “but I’m sure you like having the time to come home and relax sooner?” “Not as much as I’d like making sure you get home safe,” she said without any sort of smile. Kailey always cut the jokes when she was serious. “Oliver, please? Would it convince you if I said I just want to see your face more? Because I do?” And like that one of my big buttons had been pressed. A sweeping strike had stripped off my armor completely. “Unless you don’t wanna see me?” she put on a dejected, hurt sort of look. She was acting and it was obvious, but my heart was as gullible as I was afraid of losing what we had. What made it so hard to stay resolute against Kailey was the worry of her retaliating in some way. The worst outcome was breaking up, and I could never let that happen. Not only because of how much I loved her, but because I knew that a relationship like this would never be attainable. Not now. Not in this kind of world. “I…” I caught myself halfway. With a quiet sigh I finally gave in to yet another compromise. “Fine.” And as a small reward, her face lit up like the sun. “Really? Oh…! Thank you so-so much!” Kailey assaulted me with pecks all over on the cheeks, sauce-stained apron included. And at least with Kailey, giving in meant easier post-mortem negotiations. “But! Can…can we not start until next week?” I rubbed my face with a blush. It made me feel silly for thinking this, but still I said, “I…I just want to feel the same for the rest of the week…” Without hesitation Kailey said, “Of course!” That made me smile. Things were normal again. For at least a little longer. “I’ll make sure to call your boss tomorrow to let her know…” Kailey mumbled to herself back by the stove. I chose not to comment. “Uhm…I’m gonna take a shower,” I started to excuse myself. “I’m guessing dinner’ll be ready by then?” “Yes it will be!” Kailey said so chipperly. “By the way, I was doing some laundry and your underwear is still in the dryer, so could you just wear the ones you have on now?” “Sure thing!” I called halfway down the hall. The best part about someone you love and spend so much time with is getting to pick up on their mannerisms and habits. Kailey, of course, was no different. “And then?” she excitedly pointed with her fork, either moving with her hands or the things in them, “Then she wanted me to re-run the samples just because Stacy wasn’t wearing gloves in the next room over! Can you believe that?” “Wow,” I mumbled through a mouthful of food. “That does sound kinda excessive…” “Right?” She shrugged. “Like, don’t get me wrong, I think these accelerated trainings we’ve been getting are great. It lets us do some really interesting work and think a lot more critically. It’s just that it’s also starting to make everyone super specific about how work gets done. It’s so ridiculous how quantum causations are really just causing our work to be more anal…” I nodded like I understood, but in reality I couldn’t even get my foot in the door when it came to imagining the kind of work Kailey did. It wasn’t always like this. Originally, she was a lab technician handling maintenance on tools. I knew that much. But after enough “accelerated trainings” and suddenly she was being promoted and moved up the ladder to more and more demanding things. Hell, Kailey didn’t even have a masters and she was doing such high-level work. Work that I barely understood anymore. But nevertheless, I tried to stay engaged. “And you…uhm…what about that thing you were talking about the other day? The…Complex…Combine–?” “Oh, the Conflux Collider Theory?” Kailey seemed to know immediately what I meant, quite casually picking up the pieces on my lack of comprehensiveness. She never discussed the details with me because the last time she did I was left feeling confused and incompetent, unfortunately. She nodded the thought into her brain. “It’s good, actually. We’re already starting to design some stuff to test out some theories?” “That’s cool.” And my commentary on her work was about as rich and substantive as there was culinary grace and technique to a microwaved grilled cheese. “How about you?” Kailey smiled. She always knew how to make my stuff sound interesting, even when both of us knew that it wasn’t. “I know you said nothing special, buuut…?” “Uhm…” I scratched my head. I never liked being before or after Kailey’s work stories. There was no other way of describing it than as inferiority. I could hardly set the bar, nor could I follow up. My work wasn’t just different from Kailey’s, it was less than. Not so long ago we dealt with similar levels of difficulty. Kailey managed lab equipment and I was designing and maintaining financial infrastructure. But now? All my work lived inside a spreadsheet software. I barely even had side-to-side banter with coworkers. Almost everyone I interacted with nowadays was just superiors. There wasn’t room for joking and chit-chat with the people too busy dissecting my menial work for mistakes. Helen was responsible for all my previous projects now. As HR described it, I was “needed elsewhere.” My unofficial demotion was explained as an “allocation of resources.” My favorite part though, was being told, “think of it as stepping to the side.” Sure, of course it wasn’t stepping down. “I…so, okay,” I did think of one thing, immediately starting to try and flare it up. My work was more mind-numbing than anything else. Engaging would have been a vast oversell. Life as it was now, even if I left this job I knew work would be next to impossible to find, much less something that suited my degree at this point. For those of us who still had a job, we were just hanging onto a title that was being consistently made more and more meaningless. “Georgina?” My boss. “So, she wanted this one file delivered to the system? But it turns out she wanted that and something else. She said that ‘If I always ask for X, you should know by now that I want Y too.’” I scoffed aloud. “Jesus, she’s frustrating! She just assumes that I’m supposed to know what she wants? One of these days I’m just gonna…” And yet, the audience wasn’t laughing, nor was I given any applause. I don’t know what it was, but my mouth ran dry. Maybe it was just coming face to face with reality. One of these days wasn’t going to happen… I wasn’t going to do anything. “So…yeah.” It ended much more awkwardly. And yet, Kailey could always get a read and keep the momentum. “Ugh,” she scoffed for me, “is she still giving you a hard time? You know, I really thought things were gonna be better once they issued that whole restructuring for the country,” she frowned. “All I hear now from coworkers about how their husbands and boyfriends are just being picked on by their new bosses…!” “W-well,” I didn’t intend for that to be the subject, and I didn’t feel that I was being picked on, nor did I need the concern… But once Kailey got the microphone, she always seemed to run away with it. “Do you want me to talk about that when I call her?” Kailey stoked her flame, “I don’t want her picking on you anymore.” “K-Kailey, she’s…she’s not picking on me.” What had this become? It was elementary school all over again. From day one I was weirded out when HR contacted Kailey behind my back just to form communications. Like she was my guardian. I can say with certainty that her workplace made no attempt to give me a direct line to her boss. From speaking with other guys in the office and hearing secondhand accounts, we weren’t the only ones either. We weren’t the only company. “But maybe it wouldn’t hurt just to ask? So we can make sure that she’s being patient with you?” “Kailey, please, I don’t need anyone being ‘patient’ with me.” Of all people, hearing Kailey say that made me upset. I was her equal, and she didn’t need support, so why did I? I watched her purse her lips before finally saying, “Okay…I’m sorry. I just worry, you know?” “There’s no need to,” I smiled confidently. “I’m an adult,” I tried to make a joke, and it did make Kailey smile. “All done?” Kailey suddenly asked and I looked down at my plate. Mostly empty. It was delicious, after all. “Uh…yeah,” I said as she was already lifting it from the table. “Stay right there. I have another surprise~!” A surprise? Surprises were always great with Kailey. From memory’s past, surprises could mean a new game, new bottle of alcohol, a nice plant, photo, maybe, or a new piece of lingerie for her to get frisky in. Surprises with Kailey were fun. They always were. Always. They were exciting, which is why I didn’t understand the knot in my stomach. I felt…uneasy. What was she about to spring on me? Maybe it was the awkward start we had once I got home. Maybe it was in all the ways she’d been brushing up against…reality during dinner. It almost made me want to throw up for some reason. And in gaslighting myself I was suddenly sitting with a cold sweat, waiting for her to return. What was she about to do? “Close your eyes?” She called from the kitchen, still out of view. Close my eyes? For what? Since when? Surprises never started like this. They just happened…! Before I knew it I was already clenching my fists, pressing them into my legs. Slowly I closed them, against my nervous and crumbling will. “K-kay!” I called from my chair. I could hear her walk back in and around the table. She set something on it. Plastic, maybe? Could it…was it…? I was bracing myself to bolt from the chair. No. Not her. Not Kailey…please! Anyone but her…! “Ready to open them?” No. Never. Not if it meant keeping what we had. Keeping things still the same. Like they’d always been. Like they always would be. “S…sure?” “Okay…! On ‘now’,” she started, then slowly recited. “3…” “2…” “1…” “Now!” Maybe it was me wanting to deny reality, but I’m pretty sure I waited another second longer. Slowly, I drew back my lids, readjusting to the light as I looked at what was in front of me. Plastic…Fuck…Fuck! But not the bad kind. I remembered to breathe once I noticed that it was a thin plastic container. Inside it were three hearty long rows of large, delicious-looking cookies. Not crude and crinkly…whatever. “Ta-da!” my girlfriend excitedly clapped her hands. “You know what they are, right?!” “Co…cookies?” I asked almost half-skeptically. I was still trying to recover from the shock of fully expecting my life to end right then and there on the spot. “Yes, just boring old cookies,” Kailey rolled her eyes at me, grinning all the way. “No! Cookies from Jasmine’s?” She placed extra emphasis on the name. Jasmine’s. My favorite bakery. My favorite place for sweets, sugars, and confectionaries of any kind imaginable. How could I not love the place? After all, it was the first place Kailey and I went since we started dating. A fun silver lining to a place that I already liked. With my favorite kinds of cookies, no less. Chocolate Chip. Marshmallow, and M&M’s. “W-” I finally had shaken enough nervousness from my system to laugh. “Wow…! You, you didn’t have to, you know?” “I know that much,” Kailey laughed, “I did it because I wanted to! Now, I don’t suppose you’d be willing to share?” “Share my cookies?” I cockily challenged her, to which she raised her brows. We both burst into giggles while I tore open the packaging. Soft, chewy, and delicious. All the right things with the perfect mouthful. “God,” I mumbled in cookie-speak. We had since moved over to the couch. “I dunno how they do it…” “Right?” Kailey was wiping her mouth. “These really are good. If I remember though you’re the one who took us there for the first time? Guess I gotta give you credit,” she rubbed shoulders with me. “...Kailey…?” “Yeah?” “I…I’m really glad you’re my girlfriend, you know?” “O…” Kailey looked at me for a moment with her mouth agape. I could see her eyes starting to glisten with a forming smile. “Oliver…I’m really glad we’re together too.” And cookie crumbs be damned, we shared in an intimate kiss. We didn’t talk much for the next few minutes. Too much cookie eating and plenty enough love to communicate what we didn’t have to say. “Sooo…?” Kailey’s voice sang into my ear, arm draped over my shoulder. Since the not-so-distant Jasmine Cookie massacre of 20XX, Kailey and I had been right next to each other on the couch. Her arm was around my waist; the normal position she started doing a few weeks back. Maybe it helps her feel secure? Don’t care and don’t think much about it, solely because it made me feel comfy too. “So?” I turned my head back at her. She was smiling from ear to ear, so obviously it was something. Something I obviously wasn’t getting at. “SooOOOooo,” she repeated with a thicker dose of implication and all I could do was laugh. It was comfy time, not twenty questions, which is why I gave up quickly. “What? So what? Tell me!” And yet all Kailey did was giggle, nuzzling her cheek against mine. “I love you, you know?” “I love you too…” Duh. I’d hope that there was love after everything we had gone through together. Kailey’s hand left my shoulder, creeping down my arm and following to my wrist, the one with the unfortunate shackle on it, but skipped right over and to my hand. Our fingers interlocked and felt her fingers against mine. “Did you enjoy dinner?” She asked in a soothing, yet cheery voice. Damn, her angelic voice could always put me to sleep. Her vocal cords were wrongfully unregistered weapons that I’d occasionally fall victim to. Staring off into space, feeling warm and loved, I muttered back, “Of course I did, you made my favorite, after all…” “Good.” I felt her squeeze my hand again. Not too strong, but not weak either. “And the cookies?” Kailey did say, but was already chuckling. I could already imagine her eyes peering over at the half-empty container sitting on the coffee table. In my defense, I was only responsible for two-thirds of the murders. “Yes…” I rubbed my head against the crook of her shoulder. Intimacy like this really was dangerous for the senses. I’d be asleep before I even knew it. My sight may have been fading, but I still could feel the touch, hear the sounds, taste the last few crumbs on the corner of my mouth. And so eloquently with just the right lack of class, Kailey chuckled, “Double good.” It was one of her patently “dumb-time” moments, and that couldn’t make me feel any fuzzier than it already did. It was my way of knowing Kailey could let her guard down. Around me. How I knew she didn’t do this with anyone else was really a baseless assumption, but with how smart she was and how dignified, I simply couldn’t imagine it any other way. Two years. Two amazing years of just this. A long and loving relationship with so much intimacy, trust and vulnerability. In the few times that I felt scared Kailey could always drown that out ten times over. It was perfect. Magical. But I was on cloud nine, and nothing could make this moment any better. Nothing more than just one thing. Something I was feeling so daring and so happily selfish to ask. A question we’d entertained and humored with nudges and kicks down the timeline; never answered nearly in full or even halfness. Never until now…? It was all tonight Kailey’s gift to me, but the passion and desire was growing, and I desperately wanted to give back with a gift just as great. “...Oliver, I–” My adrenaline accidentally let me cut in. “--Kailey?” If I didn’t ask now, I’d probably lose the courage to for another whole month. But not this time, even if it meant stealing the lead. “...Y-yeah?” “...I want to ask you something,” I stated so confidently, yet despite being the small spoon with my hand cradled and coddled by hers. My eyes were aimed at the muted TV, but my focus was in another place entirely. “Something serious.” “Of…of course?” Kailey listened, and I shuffled in turn with her own body trying to get comfortable. “What’s up?” “We’ve…we’ve been together for two years now… Two…amazing, awesome years together. A part of my life I’d never want to give to anyone else but you, Kailey. You’ve made me the happiest person in the world.” “O-Oliver…!” Kailey whispered in a hush, squeezing me by the waist. I couldn’t see her face, but I had no need to. “So that’s why I don’t want to lose you to anyone else…I want us to be together for the rest of our lives.” And instead of another affectionate squeeze or lovey-dovey comment, all I got was a light slap on the shoulder, surprisingly. “Hey, don’t take my opening line!” A few seconds of laughing later and I kept going. “You’re the smartest, hardest working, and most beautiful person that I’ve ever seen… Since day one I knew you were the one for me. You talk, you listen, you care, and you love. As jealous as I am of who you are as a person…having you all to myself makes me just as happy.” The words were making me blush and my heart flutter, but it was all true and I was so desperate to say it all, especially with the way her fingers were starting to weave through mine. I kept going. “S…so…Kailey…I was wondering, if uhm…would you–” “--Wait!” Kailey, the love of my life, interrupted at the worst possible time. “S-sorry…” she muttered in a flustered voice. My Kailey? Flustered? So rarely did she ever sound like this, and it made my heart do somersaults in pure euphoria. It was instinctual. My second wind to try again after hearing her out, simply because of how much I knew this was going to work out. It was certain now. “I…I think I know what you’re trying to say…” she giggled, like we were sitting face to face in Jasmine’s for the first time all over again, splitting a big round cookie with two cups of coffee. “But…everything tonight…the dinner, the dessert…I…I was trying to do it too…” My heart nearly stopped. Her thumb danced in my palm and I tried not to fidget; to not explode from stimulus overload. Far too much love intake, not enough exhaust. She was going to ask. To confess. I had the worst timing…! I interrupted her! I laughed aloud. “I-I guess we know each other too well, huh?” “Yeah,” she laughed right back, “guess we do…! So…how about this? Together? Let’s ask each other together?” A thought we both had, but a question we would pop together. I knew exactly how it would sound; our words and voices matched in perfect harmony. Screw the sound of my own voice, though. Just to hear it from Kailey would be enough to let me die an early death. I could already cry from the insinuation and my imagination alone. We briefly separated just to sit on either end of the couch, facing each other. Our hands laid in our laps, nervous as all hell just from trying to re-summon the courage we kept accidentally taking from the other. “T-together?” I asked, or tried to confirm? Like maybe the rules had inexplicably changed or one of us forgot. “To…together…” Kailey nodded, smiling so widely and so excitedly, and before I knew it she was a perfect mirror for my emotions. “On three?” “On three…!” “One…” “Two…” “Three!” And then it happened. The words I’d been waiting my whole life to ask. “Will you marry me?” The moment was paralyzing, and just to find the courage to say them and offer myself for such a wonderful lifelong commitment tuned out my surroundings entirely. The world we lived in wasn’t a factor and neither was the society we were trying to find our safe haven in. She hadn’t even said yes yet; I hadn’t even said yes yet, but here I was, already starting to tear up. Pure happiness in its rawest form possible. Nothing but joy and excitement for who I had and always will. “Oliver…!” The sound of her voice. Sweet. Serenity. Now I wish I did talk to her about this beforehand, at least about giving her a ring… It felt like a crime at this point. How could I not give something as thanks to the most beautiful person in the world? My treasure? “Oliver?” I blinked and found my feet in reality again, coming back into place with my emotions and senses again. I laughed aloud. I really was dumbstruck with love. “S-sorry…” I wiped my teary eye apologetically, “It’s just…a lot, you know? But I promise you, Kailey. I mean it. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” Kailey, the love of my life, softly smiled, sliding over on the couch. She put her hand on my leg. “I do too, Oliver…” And there it was. Yes. She said it. Accepted. Agreed. No baking out now. Not ever. Never. I played the game and won. I found my hope before this entire set could crash and burn entirely. Kailey day by day felt more like salvation itself, but she in her own right as an individual was irreplaceable, and to know that she’s the one who chose me…! Her gentle rub on my thigh got me out of my own head again. Crap, hopefully she didn’t back out if I started getting distracted the next few days…or next whole month? This was going to be an amazing novelty that frankly I wouldn’t mind ever wearing off. “Oliver?” she asked me, and I smiled dumbly. That put a weird smile on her face too. Oh! This is too good! “You didn’t answer my question?” “Wh-what?” I chuckled, then I remembered her disappointed attitude a couple minutes ago. I’d gone and stole the show; skipped to the ending by popping the question before even she could. Sure I felt guilty, but I felt loved, and that mattered more. But never one to be selfish, and one more than willing to please, I straightened my back and proudly said, “Yes, Kailey, of course I’ll marry you!” Two proposals in one night? What a story this’ll be to tell! Residual giggles dissipated from me and I settled down, but it was only just me making the noises. Frankly I was wondering why Kailey was being so tardy to the emotion party. But Kailey was showing emotion, just a much more quiet one. A sideways look with her brows sliding up towards the center. “That’s…uhm…” My fiance momentarily avoided my eyes, adjusting her loose hair, “that…” And maybe for just a moment, my fantasy cracked. “That isn’t what I asked…” I blinked, still with my confident and eternal smile. My dearest love laughed apologetically. Awkwardly? The room felt a little tighter when I squinted my eyes, but I shrugged it off. “O-okay? Well, what’d you ask?” Kailey was my rock and I did believe in her, but I didn’t want to be the one to say that whatever small misunderstanding there was, it didn’t really matter that much…! She gave me a brief discerning look, and just maybe, just somehow, maybe it was me. Maybe I was missing something? But her lips came back together and her smile was back, so mine was too. I was happy again because she was as well. Then her mouth opened and her lips moved. Silence. Total silence. “W-wait,” my shoulders bounced with my laugh as I reached for the remote. “S-sorry, too loud,” I excused my suddenly bad hearing as I killed the TV. “One…one more time?” “Sure…” she agreed and her teeth were starting to show again. Every time I asked it was like pressing a euphoria switch for her. It had to have been the same way I felt about proposing just then. And then it started all over again. “Oliver, will you…” but she grew quiet. So quiet to the point that either I’d gone deaf or she was mute. And I knew it wasn’t my fault, I think, once I heard a distant car driving outside the apartment. “Wait–” I waved up my hands, motioning to the window as I walked to it, “noisy outside. Just a sec?” “Are you just pulling my leg?” Kailey was starting to smirk now; playfully impatient. “No! I’m serious!” I doubled down with the smooth slam and shut of the street-side window. “Okay, I promise this time; I can hear!” Probably? I took my seat back on the couch. “Ready this time. Swear it.” Just to prove it, I took a nice deep breath, even. Part of me even wanted to ask if she could speak up a little, but I feel like I’d beaten that sound business to death enough… “Oliver…” Kailey started, but she paused, edging her head forward. Reading her mind, I pleaded, “Still listening!” She laughed. “Okay, just checking. Oliver, will you, the most loving, wonderful person I’ve ever had the privilege of meeting in my life, be…” But drat, now my foot was tapping and my knees were bouncing all on their own. Just the tiniest squeak from the ball of my foot on the wood could somehow be such a noisy disturbance! Both our eyes fell down to my legs, and I looked at her apologetically, yet again. “Sorry, my–uhm…” I held down on my knees firmly this time. “Promise! Last interruption! I can hear for real now, so–!” “--Oliver!” Kailey came right over and latched her hands on my arms. The distance between us was just a single head’s width. “Will you be my little boy?” My mouth opened, but I wasn’t making any noise. My jaw hung agape, and my lips tried to move now, but somehow I’d become silent to my own noise. The tremors started again as soon as my hand left my knee, trying to raise a confused protest for something I totally did not just hear. Not from Kailey. Not from my new fiance. I tried to move my eyes, looking away and dropping my head, but every which way I looked there Kailey was, finding me right at the receiving end. “Oliver…?” she squeezed my arm, smiling and curious. “Hey, enough games, already! You’re not gonna tell me you didn’t hear that too, right?” Because I doubt she’d let me get away with that. Get away with trying to say I’d somehow magically forgotten this entire fucking evening. Just to protect what I desperately wanted back now. What maybe was still salvageable. “I-I…” I blinked and tried to look for something to stand my conscience on, but I was slipping and falling farther and faster the longer she held onto me. “W…What? Wh-what did you ask?” “Ugh,” Kailey’s eyes did circles with an exaggerated scoff. “This isn’t a very fun game, you know. If you’re just trying to get me more comfortable saying it, well you got the job done!” “B…but…I…” And would my unfortunate luck have it, I caught a glimpse of my naked, shackled wrist. It wasn’t any kind of ring, but it was a proposal. An offer I should have refused. A chilling realization far too late. “Ka...Kailey…wh-why?” I watched her hand fall around mine. “Baby? What’s wrong? Did…did I say something wrong?” The room was finally spinning; catching up with the rest of the world already trapped in full-swing. The tremors and shakes, the waves and wobbles had finally caught up. There were cracks in the ceiling and the walls, the floors and the cushions beneath us. It was all seeping in. “Why…” I asked as my voice came to me, “Why would you even…ask something like that?” “Wh…” she stuttered and squeezed my hand, “W-well, we love each other, don’t we?” It was finally a sense of reason that I could speak to. “Yes! I-I love you more than anything, Kailey!” “Oliver,” she drew me into a hug, “I love you more than anything too? So why are you being so weird right now?” “Weird?” I slipped further down the couch and I was graciously let go. “I’m the weird one? When…when you’re the one who just asked me that? Kailey, I just asked you to marry me!” She slowly and barely nodded, adjusting a hair behind her ear as she said, “I…” I watched her trace her thigh with her palm, slowly sliding up and down. “I know…” And as my girlfriend sorted through her awkwardness, I tried not to cry from recalling what was supposed to be a core memory of the moment we became hooked on eternal matrimony. I heard it. Both our voices when we asked and popped the same exact question…! Will you marry me? Will you marry me? Will you marry me? Will you– Be my little boy? A sick knot twisted in my stomach and I knew it wasn’t the cookies or the pasta. I heard her voice. I was hearing it the whole time. I heard everything. Everything. But it didn’t make sense…! Not one fucking bit! We loved each other, and she just said how much she loved me! So why? Why the fuck was this happening?! “B-but…you said…you said you loved me too?” My voice cracked with the words and the confusion in them couldn’t have been more obvious. “Oliver, I do love you! So much! More than anything!” “S-so…why? Why won’t you…?” “...Oliver…” Kailey finally looked saddened and pained, thankfully in a place that was recognizable to me. The Kailey that I knew. A Kailey that could be hurt, and not the one that could ask something so outlandish and…indoctrinated. “M…marriage…I… Just…don’t you think that isn’t a good fit for us?” The feeling left my face, and all I could do was stare. “I mean I just…” she started her rant, then stopped when she saw me. “O-oh, no, Oliver– please, I promise you. I promise I wasn’t trying to mislead you or…or anything like that! Baby,” and why did she have to use that kind of pet name? Suddenly it meant so many gross things now, “We’ve been together for so long, and I’d never give you up for anything. Oliver, you’re my world!” I sniffled back, “Y-you’re my world too…” So why? Fucking why? “I…I’ve known for a long time I’ve wanted to spend the rest of my life with you,” she smiled and it made my chest feel warm, despite the typhoon of confusion and upset in my head and heart, “but…only these past few months I guess I’ve really been starting to…’shape’ that.” “--A-and I did the same!” I cut in desperately, finding just the right moment to jump in and save my girlfriend from whatever propaganda was taking her from me. “Y-you thought about it, right? Day after day? Thinking of the best way to ask and how to propose?” I needed this more than anything. Her like-mindedness. The desperate hope of saving any of this. “Yes!” She smiled so widely and it made my vision blurry. “So…so long… H-how to ask…what we should do that night: Go to the movies? The park? A festival? Restaurant? I’ve thought so much…” So clean and so honest. It was exactly what I was thinking! “I’ve talked t-to friends, read blogs…forums…” No…no…no…! “So why won’t marriage work?” I wiped my eyes just to stop Kailey coming for them herself. “Oliver, it’s just…that isn’t for me…it’s not for us.” “How is it not?!” I raised my voice, “You love me! I love you!” I may have been a fool compared to Kailey, but I sure as hell knew one-plus-one logic. “And you’re right; it is like that. But…my love, Oliver, it’s…different, okay?” “Different?” In what possible way? “Yes, different,” she nodded assertively. “Oliver…do you know what makes me happy the most when I’m with you?” And suddenly I was afraid to ask. “It’s…it’s not the sex. It’s not the kissing–the making out,” it sounded like she corrected herself, like some kinds of kisses were different from others. “Oliver, it’s when I get to see you after a long day at work. When I get a big hug and kiss from you. When I get to hear about your day; help you make your problems feel small, or help push them away…! When we sit down on the couch, I can surprise you with your favorite cookies, or make you your favorite dinner! When I can cuddle with you!” What a chilling revelation. “Y-you mean…you don’t…?” All those nights? All those times? When we were sharing a bed, loving each other in the most intimate way possible…? “Wh-what about those outfits? Th-the lingerie? You love those! Y-you’re sexy, Kailey! You’re hot!” Not some cute mommy! “I did that for you, Oliver, because that’s what couples do. We do the things our partners love.” Her words dropped like a guillotine. Like I’d been living a lie my whole life. “L-look, baby, please… I don’t mean any of this in a cruel way, I promise! I liked it all too, okay? I did, but…” “But what?” I poured my heart out to her. I thought I knew her. But apparently I knew nothing at all. “But it’s different now. I don’t know…that changed somehow, sometime. But it doesn’t matter, because my love for you is still the same! I don’t love you any less, it’s just…different!” “So if you can love me like that, why can’t you marry me, Kailey?” “Because…it’s not being honest with myself and it’s not being fair to you,” I watched her nose gently exhale. “Oliver…I know it bothers you with how things are right now,” bother couldn’t even begin to describe it, “but...how I feel hasn’t changed. I’ve given it some time and tried to think. Maybe I could see it some way differently, but…I can’t. I can’t and I won’t. This matters too much to me. You matter too much to me. I love you and that’s why I want what others have, but for us!” “I don’t want that! I don’t want any of it!” I stepped back finally from the couch and came to my feet. “I want you, Kailey! None of that crap society is forcing on either you or me! I want you as my wife, and nothing else!” “Oliver…” Kailey stood up and tried to reach for me, but I took one more step back. “Please? Just try to think about this from my perspective?” “I already have! I’ve…I’ve been thinking about it from yours– from society’s for so fucking long!” Every man bemused into a boy. Taken down every single peg they have until they’re just incompetent, dependant stumps for their lovers. Their mommies. But now it wasn’t any unknown face or magic brick wall. No set of talking-points casually and softly pushed on a daily basis from passing adverts or politicians and speakers. Now it was in our home, and it was Kailey herself. My world was crumbling as reality itself smashed all my dreams and hopes, and I was in tears. “Oliver, please! We…we can still do those things? We can still kiss like we used to, and we can…we can still do some of those other things!” Some? “What could you possibly want that we already don’t have?” I shot out my arm, trying to swipe away at any of the madness still wafting in the air. “You, Oliver. I want you!” Kailey suddenly and for once raised her voice. “I don’t want a boyfriend anymore that stays mad, bitter and scared of the outside world! I don’t want a boyfriend who has to feel scared just for trying to live his life! Don’t you get how that makes me feel? How that tears me up? Having to call your boss, not knowing if she made your life a living hell that day? Hoping you’ll come home safe to me on your own?” “Can’t you listen to yourself?! Who even are you, Kailey? I don’t need a babysitter to manage my worklife and get me home! I’m a grown-fucking adult!” “You’re a BOY, OLIVER!” Kailey cried back in a yell and it sent tingles down my spine. Her hands were balled and there was a fierce, passionate look in her eyes. “Y-you’re…!” Finally, she sniffled, pinching the bridge of her nose. “You’re my boy! M-my…my sweet thing that I want nothing more than to protect! I’m tired of seeing you so distant and upset! Mad and angry! Scared! I just want you to be happy, and I know how to give that to you! I don’t want you to have to carry around responsibilities like they’re the weight of the world you feel some imaginary obligation to hold on to!” “T-then where does that leave me, Kailey? Where does that leave us? I-I can’t…I can’t do that. I won’t. I want an equal, Kailey. A partner. I’m not looking for a Mommy!” And probably neither was any of the rest of the male population in the world. And yet, here we all were, far too late to realize just how much the water was really boiling. And if we couldn’t come to an understanding, then… “I-is this it? Does this mean we’re breaking up then?” It didn’t take long for her to answer. “No, Oliver, it doesn’t mean that! Not even close!” she cried in an offended tone. “Honey, please, I’ve said it so many times, and I’ll keep saying it for as long as I need to: I love you! I love you more than anything! We’re not breaking up, and I’m not letting that happen.” “Then where the hell does that leave us, Kailey? I’m not being your little boy! I want a wife!” “And I won’t be your wife,” her hands finally dropped on her hips. “I won’t because I love you too much to be. A wife isn’t what you really want, Oliver; it’s not what you need!” “Don’t tell me what I need!” I trembled with the words firing from my mouth. “N-no…no. This isn’t happening. This isn’t!” I turned and stormed off to the bedroom. Duffel bag. A suitcase. Something to pack clothes. “Oliver? Where are you going?” Kailey called right from behind me. We listened to two pairs of feet moving down the hall. “I’m packing. I’m leaving.” Maybe some time apart could help her. Help Kailey come to her senses. Or maybe…really…this was it. This was somehow actually the end of us. But it wasn’t the end yet when I stopped short of the doorway at the end of the hall. My wrist was tugged and Kailey’s hand was on the other end of it. “Oliver! You’re being ridiculous! Can’t we just talk this through?” “Talk what through?! Talk about how you’d want me to quit my job that’s already been so fucking mutilated? St-start dressing down to stuff more ‘socially’ appropriate?” Those were the fucking worst. Watching all the commercials about ‘social’ rebranding of men’s wardrobe. Dressing down into their ‘new roles’ and ‘inner selves.’ Stripes and neons. Suspenders and fucking elastics…! “We’d talk about all of it, Oliver! I’m not trying to trick you! I want to discuss everything, because we’re partners! I…I just want us to become more than that!” I roughly yanked my arm away, but only with a struggle. A struggle I was allowed to win. “I don’t. I’m not doing this, Kailey. I don’t want to become your little boy, and I don’t want to call you anything else other than your actual name!” “Oliver, please! Mommies let their kids call them by their real names all the time! You can too!” And in a brief deafening silence, I gave her such a deranged look, just to communicate how far out of touch we were. “Where’s my suitcase,” I said while my back was turned, storming into the closet of our bedroom. A bedroom I wouldn’t be seeing for a while. “Gone, Oliver.” “Gone? Why?!” She was leaning by the doorway, like she was waiting for me to finish a tantrum. “Because I’ve been thinking about this night for over a month! I planned for everything. I tried to think of every possible way you might react.” “So you thought I might react rationally and try to leave?” “That you might not want to confront the truth,” she frowned. The fucking nerve…! The person I loved…! “You’re not leaving, Oliver. We’re discussing this.” “What, until I just cave in and agree to everything you demand of me?!” I angrily knocked down a small stack of empty shoe boxes. Right where I remembered our suitcase being. I stepped out of the closet, slamming the door. Fine. We have plastic bags in the kitchen. The first thing I did was go up to the dresser, yanking open the top drawer for my briefs. Empty. Second drawer. Empty. I gave her an accusing look. “I told you, laundry,” Kailey put it gently, but it hit me no less hard than any of her other knife-twisting, hypnotizing blabber. “But, your briefs…well…” all she could do was sigh, and seeing a stranger so far from the person that I thought I knew made it so much clearer and easier to connect her to the worst facets possible of this entire movement. “Y-you…my…my fucking underwear?” Plastic cookie tray. Plastic. “N-no,” I shook my head. Violently. “No. Absolutely not. Never in a fucking million years! What the hell are you thinking, Kailey?!” “Oliver, please, calm down!” she stepped off the doorframe and rushed over, gently, yet firmly forcing me to have a seat on the bedside. “This is all a discussion, okay? So please, just let’s talk? I’m not going to decide anything without you!” “Is that why you acted behind my back?” “It’s because I wanted to make sure everything went right. And…from everything I’ve read, this…this is expected.” “What the hell are you reading?” “Forums and posts. Other…mommies…people that have been in the same exact place as us right now. What we’re going through right this minute.” “Kailey, we’re about to lose our fucking relationship!” “No we’re not, because I know you love me, Oliver, and I love you too.” And she had the nerve to say it so passionately, too…! Making my heart ache so much despite becoming everything I’ve hated and feared! “It’s natural, okay? To…to feel angry, and scared. Oliver, we’re not losing anything between us, okay? This…this is a lot like marriage, just different!” “How is this anything like marriage?” No similarity other than a contract between each other. “For one thing,” she grabbed my hand, massaging it like things were somehow still the same, “we still love each other, right? We don’t care for each other any less? Oliver…what you’re looking for…what you think you are… It’s…it’s not out there.” “E-excuse me?” “Marriage? Husband and wife? That’s…no… Oliver, this,” she pulled up my hand, forcing my bracelet in front of me, “this is what love is!” she sniffled and her eyes started getting glossy, “I want you so badly to understand that!” And no matter what she said, the fact of the matter was how rocked to my core I felt. Kailey, a person I’d loved so long and so intimately for two long, wonderful years, and still love now despite the situation, was ultimately no one different than the rest. She’d decided on a “love” like this despite being my world and my everything. If the person I trusted most could turn out like this, what meant that there was anyone else out there who could be different? I had met her before a mass-indoctrination of sexist domineering opinions and she was still corrupted in the end. My Kailey. Claimed and changed. Permanently. Trapped behind a prefabricated wall of logic and reason that wasn’t hers but the armor she wore. What snowball’s chance in hell did I have of ever meeting someone post all of this corrupting propaganda? With Kailey I had the chance of a normal relationship for years. A fucking stranger this afternoon was getting ready to diaper me in a bathroom…! “We’ll start slow,” she sniffled and pressed her forehead against mine. “We’ll talk about everything. All of it. I want us to be happy, Oliver, and I can’t keep things the same as they are now because I’m not happy, and I know you’re not too. So please, can’t we stop pretending and just rip off the bandage?” Maybe we could try to stay the same, but society wouldn’t stop moving and gears wouldn’t cease turning. Between us and the world, Kailey for the first time was finally telling me to get ahead of it… “K-Kailey…” my hand found its way on her shoulder, and I started to sob. “I can’t…! I don’t want this! I…I wanted something else with you…but not this!” “I know it’s scary,” she pulled me in for a hug, locking me in place with her deceptive warmth. “But you have me? I’m gonna get us through all of this because I know how happy we’ll both be on the other side of it. No more having to deal with mean coworkers and bosses; doesn’t that sound nice?” It actually did, and that’s what made me feel worse. She let go of me and I watched her kneel in front of the bed. My heart made a nervous tick as she lifted the bed skirt and the sound of plastic packaging rustled from underneath. I fought the urge to close my eyes once it slid out from underneath the shadows I wished it had never crawled out from. The love of my life stood up, holding the purest most vile poison I’d ever seen. The worst part of it all. Rock bottom the truest sense of romantic loss I’d ever laid eyes on, and was unfortunately forced to see on so many others. So many other emasculated men. “K-Kailey…” I winced, like I was looking straight at the cancer-giving sun. “Oliver…” her hands slightly pressed and the large plastic cube crinkled some more. This couldn’t be real. It had to have been the twilight zone. “This is part of the discussion… It’s…it’s important to me.” Suddenly my briefs in the laundry, if that’s where they really were, didn't feel so coincidental anymore. Kailey may have claimed to not be a liar, but she certainly betrayed, deceived and tricked. And before she could even have the pleasure of speaking it aloud, I whimpered the word myself. “D-...diapers…really?” Kailey quietly sat beside me, holding her arms over them like it was a treasure. “I…I want it so badly, Oliver…!” I barely glanced at them before looking away. Already torn open, a stack of thickly designed adult diapers sat between my girlfriend’s arms. Smiling trucks, cars, and planes. Like there was legitimate joy to be had in losing out on actual toilet privileges. Quietly she set the package aside though, strolling over to the dresser. “I…wanted to try and surprise you with one…” she opened the lowest drawer and pulled out the lone disposable rectangle. My heart was beating a mile a minute. I wanted to run, so desperately, but I knew she wouldn’t let me. Kailey would physically prevent me. For us, as she’d claim. And what sucked so badly was just how much I loved her. How in spite of everything up until now, deep down I still wanted us. Even if this whole world had gone to hell and had become some terrible dystopian situation, I wanted to suffer in that hell with at least the one person I loved, even…even if that love was different. It was the sadness of settling in. The displeasure of knowing I’d never get anything better than this. “K-Kailey…” I wiped my eyes, “...please…!” I could barely hear my sobs over the unfurling of plastic padding. She smoothened the comforter, setting a towel that’d magically appeared on it while she spoke. “Oliver, it’s going to be a lot of change, but that’s nothing you weren’t expecting if you wanted us to be married, right? There’s always growing pains. There’s always new experiences. There’s always new discussions. We’ll talk about this. About all of it, and we can compromise.” She fully spread it now, letting both ends have their wings spread free. The interior lining looked terribly soft. Unfortunately so. I was meeting my maker by the hands of the person I’d least expected. “Can you please come over here? We can talk while we give this a try?” she pressed her hands on her legs tentatively. Calling it out as we felt so disingenuous, and yet Kailey wouldn’t stop trying. As much as she was robbing me of the lead, she kept on asking me. Begging me to accept in a way that made this less painful. She wouldn’t let me go because she knew I wouldn’t find anyone else. No one as accommodating as her, nor as kind. That, and just maybe, she actually did love me. Was this how other guys felt? Was this exact situation really as common as those fake and phony articles said? I hiccuped the moment she undid my slacks, dropping them to the floor. “You know I still think you have the most handsome body, right?” she touched her nose with mine, and in some twisted confusion I let out a small chuckle, holding back the tears. And like it was somehow approval, Kailey laughed right back, smiling so widely. So clearly. Shining the sun down on me so strongly that I was yet again afraid to look. Afraid because it actually made my heart ache. I wanted the affection so badly, yet I was right in the midst of having to deal with what came with it. My body flinched the moment my naked behind hit the top of the diaper. “Is it soft?” she asked, tugging the plastic sides out from underneath me, and I shivered in uncertainty and shame. Was there a chance at just locking this away as a form of roleplay? Letting our normal lives stay as they were? I didn’t answer, so she continued. “Oliver…please, I know this might be hard at first, but you’re going to understand just how much I love you. I’m going to show you that in so many more ways now.” “Th-this is love for you?” I croaked up at the ceiling, feeling the crinkly thick front draw up to my crotch, only after a tender massage from my would’ve-been wife from a white cloud of wispy smoke being powdered on me. “Yes, Oliver,” and the sides drew to a close. One-two-three-four, and a quartet of tapes were pressed onto my front. “It is.” And she looked down at me, and I looked up at her. Just as my bare leg moved my diaper crinkled and just then I saw the twinkle in her eye. A look I hadn’t seen in so…so long. Something that I had never noticed until now. “Ollie…” she whispered, bringing her hand right between my legs that felt so forced apart now, leaving a large runway for nothing now but my lover’s invasions. A spot that used to be occupied by what we shared in bed on naked, restless nights. But her smile and her grin. The tears in her eyes. The pure, unadulterated joy that even I could tell, laying there sad and confused in my very first of many diapers. This really was everything to her. I was everything to her. Just as I’d been from the start. I doubt she’d ever have any interest in sex again. I wasn’t even sure if I’d see her fully naked ever again. Not that I couldn’t, but because the power structure had just been rocked so heavily that roles and rules were changing on the spot. “Thank you…” she cupped my cheeks and kissed me on the forehead. Not the lips. “You’re my everything. You look so precious…!” I let her sit me up, crinkling all the way, and now I couldn’t even sit reliably on the edge anymore. My plastic, smoothened behind, couldn't make up anything now other than frictionless touches. “Oops!” she giggled so softly, holding an arm on my stomach, just like she did when we cuddled on the couch, tugging me back a safe distance from the edge. Far back enough to stop slipping. “S-so…we get to talk about this…right?” I asked weakly, fighting a whole new wave of tears from a life well-lived, and a fearful attitude for what was to come. “Of course we will… But let’s leave it like this for tonight, okay? There’s a lot to cover, so…I just wanna take things slow.” Slow enough to give me plenty of time in diapers… For what I had no doubt Kailey would desperately try to make a permanent solution. I feared for what really was a discussion and more just an explanation for how things assuredly were now… I moved and my underwear crinkled. “And Ollie? I did just think of one thing?” I looked up at her. “It’s kind of like marriage, if you think about it? I mean,” her arm came around me and she smirked, hugging my far shoulder. “After all, you’re getting my last name now, right?” Maybe nothing really changed, after all.

Stop! Don't panic from the story, please! It's fiction! Probably! Lol, thanks for the comment! Yepp, I can't say I'm big on dentists either. Gotta do what we gotta do, but no thank ya to metal tools in my mouth. Especially to the scraping ones... Thanks

These are the kinds of discussions that I live for, lol. As far as the entire dentist visit went, I trying to come up with a "fair" flow of things that didn't seem totally unbelievable, but assuredly put Emily in a slightly awkward position. Thanks for reading and commenting, everyone! Thank you so much! Glad you enjoyed it!