Mee

I'm a little late on openly acknowledging this, but thank you for the opportunity to participate in a contest! It was fun having another reason to write a one-off type of story; I'm glad I could enter a contest type of event! If there's another one of these in the future I'll definitely be considering to toss my name in the hat again, but most of all I hope to see more people participate. More stories is always a treat! Thanks again!

Apologies for only responding just now. Thank you very much for the fun contest opportunity, and if nothing else, it got me to write another story!

As emotional as Katherine can get, she's definitely built strong. Though, it's times like these when she gets pushed into a place that I think she doesn't like going to, even if Dawn forces her hand. But if nothing else, Katherine's a durable Amazon! Dawn's definitely just getting into that rut where reality is still sinking in, I'd say. Everything sucks and there's just about nothing that can happen at this point that'd feel like a "win" or a foothold in whatever slippery slope she's plummeting down. I want to continue leveraging the key point that Dawn isn't really all that aware of how this dimension works. She doesn't know the full scope of just how bad things can get and comparatively how good things right now are. Though, based on what she's come from and what she has to deal with now, the frustration is more than understandable. Yeah, candy from strangers is usually a no-go. If nothing else, maybe Katherine might misunderstand today as a lesson that chocolate gives Dawn an upset stomach... Some sort of warped conclusion like that. As far as never being able to love Katherine and James, that is a good question. I'd be curious to see just what kind of gauntlet it might take to make her truly appreciative of them, assuming one exists! Hey there, thanks for reading! Yeah, but at the end of the day what's a good story without a little bit of struggle? Thanks for the comment!

13 - Free Sample The car ride was a deafening silence, which by all accounts was pure bliss to Dawn. She felt relieved. Lightened with a thousand weights off her shoulders, even if her wrists and ankles were still just as shackled. She spoke her mind, truly and honestly and had pulled back the curtains on what this cruel farce truly was. Dawn didn’t make a noise or bat an eye when she was put into the car seat. She simply took it. She had no words or any real emotions to give Katherine to feed off of or work with. Maybe that’s what it was. A battle of attrition from this point. The only way she could continue her resolve was by remaining distant. Cold. She knew when to fold and walk away. Nothing was going to change, so why fight it? Take it for what it is and let her captors have their way. The only thing Dawn could do was make it a show of involuntary compliance. That seemed to be the one way she could at least find any kind of silver lining to this. Unfortunately she wasn’t in the mood for sleep. She wasn’t in the mood for anything. Katherine did try a few times to create the opportunity for conversation. Comments about the weather, a funny-looking car or a fun-looking park. Her words may as well have fallen on deaf ears. Dawn didn’t so much as try glancing, especially if Katherine tried watching her from the rear-view mirror. Eventually they reached their destination, of which was another Little store, meaning the kind of store actually meant for Amazons trying to accessorize their forever babies. Dawn was no different, at least she was being led to believe. Getting home was suddenly starting to look like such a gray area. She knew the system was rigged, but whether it was absolutely impossible was anyone’s guess, but after all the hurdles and in fear of the truth itself, she didn’t want to ask. Another point was Katherine and James’ willingness to help. After she just told Katherine off like that, would they even be interested in helping her anymore? Then again, if they were trying to keep her from the start, were they ever really going to…? Inwardly she frowned, yet on the outside maintained her calm, disinterested composure. Dawn listened for Katherine’s seatbelt as she got out the driver’s seat and came over to her end. Other than the sound of the door beside her opening, another sign was the warm outdoor air. “Is it alright if I unbuckle you…?” Katherine asked somewhat reservedly. She held all the cards ultimately, yet apparently Dawn truly had done something to her. Good. If the only way she could create change was by murdering whatever joy this sadistic woman felt from Dawn’s own suffering, she was more than happy to exercise it. “Yes.” A plain response. No flavor, no sass, just acceptance. As simple of a press it was to undo her car seat buckles, it was still baffling to think how it’d be impossible for a Little. The kind of springs that must have needed to be otherworldly… Well, on second thought, considering she was stranded in another dimension, that much was in fact certain. Otherworldly, Amazon-strength springs. “Is it okay if I dress you?” Katherine asked with her sorrowful look. Dawn turned her head, almost making the mistake of looking surprised. In Katherine’s hands was the same cardigan from yesterday that she used as a functional cloak for modesty. Not only had Dawn forgotten her own request, but she was surprised Katherine would have “remembered” as well. Then again, maybe she only brought it because she thought Dawn still expected it…? “Yes,” she answered once more with her arms mounting the arm rests to pull herself forward and out of the seat. After a few moments she once again dawned the outfit as her one and only line of defense between the eyes of prying Amazons and her horrid underwear. For the sake of what was practical, Dawn was held by Katherine as they walked through the parking lot. Dawn figured it to be the same store, and maybe it was the same commercial chain, but it seemed like a different location. Whether she was accidentally letting it show on her face or Katherine explained anyway just because, “This store is closer to home than the first one we took you since we were out that day.” Dawn didn’t answer, quietly noting the information in her mental log of useless facts and other disappointing information. All that told her was that they were farther from the hotel, which meant in her mind being farther away from the Portal Station. What time was it? Had they left already? She’d probably be asking herself that into the late afternoon with a wrenching heart still clinging on to the impossible chance of getting out by today. Maybe James would come home from work with some sort of surprise news or a major development… Fat chance. It may have been a different store, but the apple didn’t fall far from the tree, nor did the Amazon stray far from the baby-craze. More pacifiers and learning toys were on front display. Sales and discounts on what were probably lesser than premium diapers; buy one get one half-off for onesies on clearance… The one thing that seemed universally the same about any megastore was the thin blanket of digital speakers spewing the mind-numbing ambient music that apparently made people more excited to shop… Dawn didn’t get it back home and she was even farther from understanding any of it in a place like this. Though before any of the torture could begin, a curveball Dawn admittedly should have expected was their ninety-degree turn toward the shopping carts. Out one came, and another low hanging fruit that she missed was the small seat that folded out from the front, of which Dawn was slipped into. Her legs fed into the holes and a firm buckled strap went over her waist. Her bare legs and feet now dangled there as she was forced to look directly into Katherine’s chest while she steered. “I want to walk,” Dawn calmly argued. “No. Not after last time.” Katherine, despite being so sad, was firm with the rejection. “You don’t have any shoes and I don’t want you dragging my sweater all over the floor.” For once it finally felt like Katherine was making an unbiased case. Dawn, much more friendly with her biases as of late, still wanted to turn her nose to the woman simply because of who she was, but she didn’t. After all, Katherine was the unreasonable child, not her. Maybe it was a blessing in disguise Dawn was forced to look at her captor by default. For that reason she didn’t have to look at anything else in this place that was bound to make her even more upset than she already was. Dare she look up and past Katherine’s shoulders, she could see snippets of things passing by on the higher shelves, all at the cost of accidentally making eye contact with her. “Excuse me? Would you two be interested in a free sample?” Dawn only bothered to look for two reasons. One, the cart had stopped. Two, the employee said “two”, as if Dawn was being acknowledged as her own person. Maybe she was a sucker and unfortunately feeling so belittled, simply being called out as someone like a peer was enough to rouse her attention. Katherine merely waved her hand as a gesturing apology. “Sorry, I think we’re alright...” The employee only chuckled as she stepped away from her stand with a platter of assorted chocolates resting on her flat open hand. “Trust me, that’s what every other mommy and daddy have said walking by; they’re kicking themselves after getting a taste of these!” Dawn’s eyebrows were starting to droop. Acknowledgement was nice in a place starved for Little’s rights, but the joy was significantly lessened when she knew just how much of an agenda there was to it. Apparently Amazons are willing to even dignify Littles at least somewhat if it means making a sale. Katherine stopped the cart and reluctantly stood there to hear her out, but Dawn could see the slightly grossed out look on Katherine’s face. Did she not like chocolate? Then she quickly dashed the thought, reminding herself to act like she didn’t care. Because she didn’t. “Chocolates…? I’m sorry, I’m not really much of a sweets kind of person...” “Oh,” she chuckled with a professed hand draped over her heart as the script practically read itself from the inside of her eyelids. “Believe me! I am the exact same, just like most Amazons. But this new chocolate from KozyKitchen is a treat designed for Amazons and Littles!” It may have been Katherine’s preoccupied mind with all the shit Dawn had been giving her as of late, but she still did not seem quite sold. Dawn was still trying to puff embers out of the remnants of recognition she just had a second ago, back to being the second class citizen forced to watch and listen. “Believe me, you’ll feel a lot different once you try it yourself,” the pushy woman continued to insist. She danced her hand over the platter like it was a game of chance and plucked a chocolate to hand over to the reluctant Amazon. “And is it alright for the sweetpea in your carriage, too? It’s all FSR approved, by the way!” Dawn could feel Katherine’s eyes on her. “...Dawn, would you--” “Yes please,” Dawn cut her off, especially making it a point to give the most cooperative looking attitude she could. Not to Katherine, of course. Never in a million years. She made a real show of it, pouring out every ounce of kindness and politeness she could to this employee, just to show her captor what she would never have for herself. She could have cared less about the chocolate. “Alrighty then, hon. Annnd oneee for you!” She continued the same song and dance, picking out a piece for Dawn seemingly at random. “Thank you,” Dawn said with a smile before popping the sweet into her mouth. “And such manners!” The employee laughed. Katherine didn’t seem to comment. Again, not Dawn’s problem. Katherine slipped her own into her mouth to chew it. “...Oh...that’s not bad, actually.” Katherine’s hand slowly drifted from her mouth. “Those are really chocolates?” “One-hundred percent approved by the FSR!” The saleswoman reminded with another selling smile. Dawn chewed hers, but it didn’t taste like anything supremely remarkable. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t the best of the best either. She did make note of the thick jelly filling inside of it though. Sort of like a fruit syrup. Strawberries? Orange? Definitely one of those stranger assorted kinds of chocolates, but to each their own. “So, how about it, mom? Could I interest you in a box?” She waited patiently. Dawn continued to chew on what little she had left to swallow, trying to ignore Katherine being referred to as her mother for the second time now. “James might actually like those...” Katherine muttered under her breath. “Uhm...we need to run around the store a little bit, but if I remember, I think I would be interested?” “Perfect!” The employee smiled. “I promise you’ll find me right over there by the rattles. Have fun shopping, you two!” Katherine pushed the cart along and Dawn went back to staying reserved, once again faced with the reality of all the things they were about to get. “Those were good, huh?” Katherine suddenly spoke up, an attempt at small talk or conversation. “Mhm.” Dawn mumbled back, burning her attempt to build a bridge before it even started. “...Would you want to have some more of that chocolate…?” “I’m fine.” Her morale seemed to have been killed, because there weren’t any more attempts after that. Even with her back turned to the rest of the store, Dawn was able to deduce that they were headed to the clothes area. “Do you have any favorite colors?” Katherine asked with an almost level tone, but inevitably weighed by the seeds of doubt. Fear. Fear of rejection. “Black. Gray.” Dawn robotically answered. Katherine’s fingers patiently danced on the bar of the carriage while her head looked around. “O...Okay… No promises though...alright?” After their last shopping trip, Dawn knew it probably was an impossible search. The concept of a babied little being in anything but pastels and hideously bright and infantile colors was probably blasphemy in the Amazon’s testament, or maybe even in their genes. The point was, Dawn was well-aware of how difficult she was making things, and she did not give an absolute damn. The only reason she humored Katherine is because she was betting on there being nothing even remotely in her interest at all. She wanted every single thing from this trip to be chosen by Katherine. This was all of Katherine’s making and certainly not Dawns. Whatever bond she thought that she had a chance in forming with Dawn, the smaller girl herself would make sure that it never happened. “Dawn…? It’s a little hard to find stuff in those colors. Do you have any other colors you like?” “Nope. Not really.” Dawn didn’t bother to turn her head. There wasn’t a reply right away. Dawn could imagine it. She probably already had something picked out, and yet it was against her stomach while her hands fussed over each other, at a loss and unsure of what to do, lest she make things worse than they already were. “H-how...how about purple?” “Don’t care.” “...Okay...” Her voice was faint, and the sniffle she made was telling too. Dawn kept facing the same way she’d been since being confined to this mobile cage, yet looked angry for a moment just to hear the Amazon struggle with her tears. One moment, she could be as fierce as flames with her no-nonsense cutthroat attitude when it came to discipline, then tears and whimpers the moment you showed her the cold shoulder. Katherine was the worst kind of person. Overbearing, ignorant, and supposedly kind all the same. She couldn’t take a hint, didn’t change her ways, and cried if Dawn wasn’t going to pretend like she was the queen herself. Yes, it certainly was a battle of attrition, because Dawn struggled to not give her fickle emotions any kind of response. And as the shopping continued, Dawn kept telling herself, repeating the words in her mind that this was what got through to Katherine. This was the only way to truly communicate with her. Pain was truly the best teacher. Not even Katherine turning the tables on Dawn seemed to scare her. She really could get whatever she wanted, and Dawned resolved that she would not care. Dawn guessed that she might fight back in her own way by finding the most childish, ridiculous clothes she could put her hands on. Frills, polka-dots, bright pinks and ugly purples, all skirts and no pants; all the things Dawn would consider “retaliation.” But the trick to not caring about any of it was by reminding herself that it didn’t matter the poison if it was all lethal anyway. A onesie with snaps wasn’t going to make her look any closer to being an adult than a romper would. It was comparing apples to apples and expecting to somehow find an orange among the bunch. The quiet shopping went on after Katherine apparently found enough clothes to suffice. Dawn still hadn’t bothered to look. And one of their worst stops came next. Furniture. It was surreal seeing entire set displays, especially cribs themselves perfectly sized for someone like Dawn. A large mattress space for an adult (the size of a Little) confined by high bars yet still looking proportional relative to all the other horrid accessories. A rocking chair, diaper pail, dresser, toy chest… It all made her physically cringe, especially knowing that not only did this stuff exist, but they really were getting it. But when she thought about it, it unfortunately made sense when she also remembered that her demographic was just about the same size as Amazon’s up and coming tykes... “Please, Dawn...” Katherine carried tinges of desperation. Likely hoping for some kind of input just so it didn’t feel like she was dragging her through the mud completely. Just to feel better about herself. Just so Dawn’s words would finally stop getting to her… “I want you to pick, okay? Any crib...any bed that you want,” like a change in vocabulary changed the object itself. A worthless try to make any of this better. “I won’t say ‘no’, so please? Please pick something you like? I want you to have something you want. Please?” What was going through Katherine’s mind was more or less decided in Dawn’s head, but even that thought exercise needn’t be done when the answer was always so simple to go with. “I don’t care.,” she repeated, “I don’t want any of this.” The Amazon’s shoulders slightly drooped as she looked over Dawn and straight ahead with a watery shine in her eyes. Katherine was only doing a worse job at keeping herself in check while they “browsed.” She continually tried to ask for Dawn’s opinions on how things looked, if she thought they were nice and such. For Dawn, she was sort of enjoying the game of pretend she was playing. Pretending like she couldn’t turn her head. Instead it was a constant view of Katherine’s torso and chest, or otherwise a long stretch of aisle whenever she stepped away. Nothing to her sides were of interest, and it was only bound to make her even more upset. Sealing everything off seemed to be the only way of calming herself. Making the choice to cut herself away from all stimuli was oddly...liberating. Sitting in a carriage, diapered without any shoes and only a shirt and oversized sweater, in spite of all that, she finally felt like she had power over herself in at least a small way. “This...this one says it has a really soft mattress?” Katherine wiped one of her eyes as she spoke up again. Dawn wasn’t even caring to answer anymore. Enough silence seemed to count as an answer if she was quiet enough. The worse Katherine started to seem, the shopping venture only appeared to grow more awkward. Luckily not as many Amazons seemed to pass by, but it wasn’t entirely a ghost town. Female and some male Amazons certainly did pass by...and so did their objects of torture. Dawn wasn’t sure if Katherine decided on something herself or gave up entirely because the carriage started rolling forward. Whatever though, it was all out of Dawn’s hands and she was starting to find that maybe she preferred it that way. If the saying went ‘in for a penny, in for a pound,’ surely the opposite was true, right? Don’t give a fuck, don’t give any fucks? Didn’t quite ring the same, but in Dawn’s starved mind, just about anything felt linguistically “fun” for her as long as she was the source. From anyone else, it was all just patronizing and condescending fluff meant to placate her while she continued to drown in this nightmare. The same routine would follow. Traverse an aisle, exit it, make a turn, enter the next. They were playing a game of snake to explore every inch of the store. While Dawn focused straight ahead, there would continually be the noise of tiny chings from the metal carriage or slumping and sliding of the things already inside of it. Each noise was another drop in the bucket that weighed Dawn into the abyss. Another purchase leading further to her demise. Her only solace could be that Katherine didn’t seem to be enjoying it so much either, but likely for different reasons… Wasn’t this a treat in its own way? Katherine was essentially getting what she wanted. A Little, and the one she picked out of the pen at the state fair, no less. Yet what joy was there to spoil what she wanted the most. Continuing to get herself high off the circulating thoughts was what made this palatable and kept her mind from cracking anymore than it already had. Back to the game of “snake,” Dawn’s peripherals unfortunately started picking up on what kind of aisle they were in. The cushy thoughts she had been padding her head with started to dissipate the more her eyes took the forefront of her attention. She couldn’t ignore it as she slumped slightly lower in her seat, practically wanting to disappear right then. Her attempts to not exist though were hard when she felt the metal bar press against the front of her diaper and the secure waist strap firmly tugged her back. She wasn’t going anywhere. Large, prominent plastic packages lined either end, rounded edges that only emphasized the “bargains” packed inside. Before she knew it she was already transfixed on all the predatory advertising labeled on the fronts, caught in a state of chilling morbid curiosity. Extra Absorbent! FIVE more included! GUARANTEED to make them waddle! Ten percent off, comes scented, twenty-four hour protection… “Dawn?” A soft-spoken voice made her look up. It was Katherine, expectedly, but in Dawn’s state she just about forgot entirely. “Are you okay?” Her face still wore the hesitation and guilt, but like always, she sounded earnest. “I’m...” Dawn started to give a genuine answer, but finally remembered her resolve. Turning her head back down and to the side she went back to wearing her mask. “I’m fine.” Katherine was quiet. If it was Dawn’s guess, she very much did not believe she was fine, but she wasn’t pushing the matter. Good. If only things could have been like this from the start. “Since I know that you’re not excited about this part...I’ll pick them out, okay?” Katherine continued to speak like Dawn was continually a part of the process, yet she was only deceiving herself. At least for Dawn she didn’t exactly have a tall order of many different emotions to suppress. In a situation like this, she need only focus on her anger and fear, of which she was feeling troves of. “Yep.” And yet as resigned as Dawn wanted to be, she couldn’t help but with a sickly knot in her stomach glance at the packaging as Katherine slowly, painfully wheeled the cart alongside one of the shelves. The designs. Oh, the designs. If it weren’t for the bare-breasted women or men with fully developed bodies as the models for these diapers, Dawn, excusing the store itself, could have cheerfully rode off into the sunset purely believing that these were just diapers for toddlers and infants. But they weren’t. Suns and moons, flowers and butterflies. Cats and dogs, dinosaurs and monkeys. Some cartoon colored and others were just outlines. Velcro tapes and shiny plastic outer shells. They all looked oppressively offensive, but it only felt worse when she remembered that this was something exactly like what she was wearing. She hated it. She hated all of it. There wasn’t any way she’d be wearing any of this. No way at all. She’d go commando for the rest of her life if need be. No, for as long as she was in this dimension, which wasn’t going to be forever...damnit! “Excuse me, Ma’am?” And so another agent from hell had arrived. “Could I help you at all?” If she wasn’t as stiff as a board before, Dawn only hoped she could look like the inanimate doll meant for the actual Little waiting at home for all this horrid baby paraphernalia. And of course, then came the dreaded halt of the carriage. Stuck in place and time had stopped. Why of all places did they need to be approached here? It was all sick marketing tactics… Of course diapers were where the money was… Get a customer paying an effective subscription like this, and they were buying for life. “Hi there...” Katherine replied, her eyes were probably elsewhere. It was garbage amongst garbage for Dawn, but for someone like Katherine, she was probably a kid in a candy store… Dawn tightened her grip on the carriage handle with whitening knuckles. Whatever she said, it didn’t matter. She wanted this even if she felt “bad” about how she was treating Dawn. It was all lip service, just to get compliance… “First time getting diapers?” The worker didn’t wait to laugh to herself. “Don’t worry, I’ve dealt with plenty of first-time mommies before. When did you get her?” Yes, of course. Because that’s all Dawn was at this point; property. She really was just a doll. “Just yesterday, actually...” Now she wasn’t sounding preoccupied. Just sad. Good. “Oh wow! Congratulations! It may seem scary at first, but trust me when I say you’re giving yourself a lot of joy just as much as you’re gonna give this little girl!” And then came the audacity of a head pat from a complete stranger. The large hand on her head was enough to make Dawn flinch. “S-sorry,” Katherine apologized, probably seeing the split-second reaction on her prisoner’s face. “She’s a bit shy right now...” “Mhm...” Dawn could practically hear the sympathetic nod. “Mine was like that too for the first few weeks. There was always some reason for putting up a fuss. He’d throw tantrums when it was tub time, when he got put down for naps, especially during diaper changes...” Dawn could only imagine the very real frustrations of whoever was unfortunate enough to be claimed by this disillusioned Amazon. He was probably a grown man, maybe fresh out of college, or a fully grown working adult? Did it even matter? Either way, all of his legitimate emotions, complex thoughts, ideas, hopes and wishes could be disregarded so easily as “tantrums” for why he was resisting a fate that left him babified for the rest of his life. “But things are a lot better now! He still can get cranky on some days, but you’d be surprised how they can come around with enough love,” she chuckled, the sadistic bitch. “Oh! Sorry about that, I didn’t mean to go on like that… So do you have any idea for what kind of diapers you were thinking to keep her in?” More cringeworthy conversation. Was she a pet now? Diapers were talked about like they were collars. Accessories that were integral to the image that Dawn was being forced into. “That’s...sort of the issue.” But never quite fully, was it? Maybe it wasn’t just Dawn that couldn’t get straight answers from Katherine. Then again, maybe it was just anything that concerned Dawn there wasn’t ever a cut and dry answer. Not if it actually involved her interests. “That’s completely fine!” The employee assured her, as anyone trying to make a sale would. “That’s what we’re here for, really. So since that’s the case, what kind of Little do you want? Do you want her running around or staying put?” She couldn’t. She couldn’t actually be speaking so casually about something like that, right? Deciding whether to inhibit a fully conscious adult’s motor functions or not? And how, even? “I still want her to be able to move around...” Katherine answered with a slight bit of hesitation. Was she being wary of Dawn? Either way, the answer came promptly, so Dawn wasn’t ready to scream quite yet. “Okay. How about for changes? Would you rather do it as little as possible? There are Amazons that prefer that, which is understandable, but it may be hard for her to get around easily if you don’t change her for too long...” That was an option? It was bizarre for Dawn to listen in. It was like spectating at the zoo, only the irony was that she was in the cage. Maybe the lions, bears and elephants did the same thing from their pens. They watched the spectators as much as they watched them, equally fascinated by just how wild and unrelatable the other side could be. “N-no, I’d rather not… I don’t mind changing her frequently. Or, regularly, at least.” Her change of wording felt strange to Dawn, but maybe she was just scrutinizing. ‘Regularly’ over ‘frequently’ almost implied she would have to stew somewhat. Whatever. It was all hypothetical, meant for a show just to trick this LPS worker or whatever. Again, and most certainly it would be the hill Dawn died on; she would not be wearing diapers. Any...any more than she already was. “Okay, that’s fine. Honestly, I prefer to change mine regularly as well. He can get fussy if he’s in one for too long, and I can’t exactly say I support the Amazons out there that think their Little deserves it… But, everyone has their own parenting style.” Parenting. And like that, a violation of human rights is chalked up to a unique style of “parenting.” Dawn merely kept pretending to be an elephant, desperately hoping for this all to end. Believe it or not, she wanted to go back to Katherine and James’ house. At least there it was dealing with just two crazies instead of the entire population. “Sorry, do you mind if I check real quick?” The employee asked Katherine. Katherine didn’t say anything at first, which meant that she didn’t say no. Therefore, consent, apparently. Consent to violate Dawn’s privacy. Dawn was nothing short of mortified when faster than she could process her charged emotions, the one article of clothing she had was deftly lifted to expose her padded backside. A cold finger brushed against her back as the diaper’s waistband stretched, then the same for the front. The look in Dawn’s eye, it had to be the flames of hell with how much anger and frustration she was feeling. She wanted to shout, scream, anything to make it abundantly clear that she was far above this, and much more deserving of legitimate respect…! Yet her trembling hand stayed still as a blanket of fingers wrapped over it. Katherine must have noticed while she talked to the worker. It was enough to make Dawn keep her cool and snap out of it, but she also harshly wrestled her hand out from underneath, holding it to her chest like it’d been wounded. “So I’d say she’s about a size four,” the worker determined. “Which is good. Except for the specialty stuff, you definitely have the pick of the litter! I can recommend a few brands down here...” And so the carriage slowly rolled onwards. While the dreaded diaper talk continued, Dawn meanwhile did her best to tune it all out. Forget about where she was, what they were doing, and how it all came to this point. Somehow learning to lose herself to a vegetative state was feeling like the most plausible kind of nirvana. “Dawn…?” Katherine, the so-called saint had once again pulled her back into the cruel reality before her. “I asked if you wanted to help pick the design?” Design…? She turned her head. Diapers, naturally. There were a few different packages. Brightly colored with attractive text, for Amazons, yet only unnerving for the everyday Little. Playtymes, they were all branded in bubbly thick lettering. They were all some kind of variation of dogs, cats, and flowers. Durable and absorbent! Little-lock strength adhesive! Features a multi-core odor mask! All the bells and whistles to a prison cell that maximized convenience for the warden over the prisoner. They all had the same information, more or less, just differing in design. Dawn gave Katherine finally a look that wasn’t just disinterest, but finally disbelief and utter offense. After everything up until now, what in God’s name did she ever think that’d make her believe Dawn would want anything to do with this? Rights to handle her own execution? Now the employee had the audacity to tap her on the shoulder. “Dawn, sweetie, I was just telling your mommy that making a choice you both agree on is a great way for you both to be happy?” Then came the worst part. She grinned. Actually, she grinned. This wasn’t a bonding exercise, or some kind of good-hearted attempt to bring two people closer to each other. This was public humiliation and this rotten bitch was trying to get a front-row seat. “Piss off.” Dawn finally spat, turning her head back forward. “Dawn…!” Katherine raised her voice in shock, apparently finding it in herself as well to be more than just sad. While Dawn stayed in place, arms crossed and angrier than ever, the employee was only waving her hand with a laugh as Katherine profusely apologized on her behalf. “Nope, no, that’s fine, really.” She finished the rest of her chuckling. “When you said ‘shy’ I already figured that meant cranky. It’s okay. Littles always tend to throw fits at first. ‘I don’t need diapers, I’m a grown-up, I didn’t pee my pants...” Blah-blah-blah. If only Dawn had been given a chance to punch her… It didn’t matter what Dawn said, obviously. For every reason there was always an equivalent “excuse” in an Amazon’s mind just for why a Little’s point was null and void. That much she was starting to see. “Please, Dawn?” Katherine used the same compassionate voice and went as far as to touch Dawn’s hand again. Apparently the first time was a mistake, because here she was trying the same tactic twice for mistakenly thinking it worked the first. Glad it was her arm without the bruised wrist, without any qualms she roughly jerked her hand back and away, crossing her arms tightly just to remove any chance for physical connection. Her head felt hot and it was starting to get uncomfortable. Probably from all this pointless pestering, humiliation and complete shittiness of the situation. When would they finally be going home?! “Pick. It. Your--self.” Dawn mumbled in an angry voice. She tried to raise herself from the seat, but the carriage buckle only let her rise halfway for her to raise her voice. “I DON’T CARE ABOUT ANY OF THIS! I HATE YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU’VE DONE TO ME! I...” And as she tried to find her words, suddenly squeaking a small whimpering grunt, another knot formed in her stomach. She fell back down in her seat with an uncomfortable gurgle in her stomach. “Dawn...honey?” Katherine asked, either far too desensitized to her outbursts or simply one that forgave and forgot so easily, she was already focused on the odd mannerisms and expressions coming from Dawn. “O...ow...” Dawn uncomfortably squirmed in a soft, whimpering voice. She couldn’t sit still. She needed to move. She couldn’t sit in this seat. She wanted out! “Uh-oh, I think I know what that looks like...” The employee slyly commented from the sideline. Again, Dawn desperately tried to undo the buckle yet it wouldn’t budge. She tried to push herself out once more. But it was a mistake. A grave mistake. Her “foothold,” so to speak, was gone the moment she lifted her backside. The door stopper was gone and the avalanche fell free. As there was a bead of sweat on her forehead, those uncomfortable knots in her stomach were undone one by one as they flowed elsewhere in the body. Through her abdomen, down to the intestine, and finally… A crude, upsetting noise suddenly came from Dawn’s backside. It was the trumpet to the stampede, an unstoppable force that had snuck behind home base lines so stealthily until the final moment. Teary-eyed, Dawn gripped the carriage handle for dear life as she involuntarily started to mess herself. It was a paralyzing experience as she felt her own mess creep out of her into her own underwear, like a mud seeping down and between her legs. She couldn’t think straight. Her face was hot and the tiny invisible hairs on her arms were standing upright. This wasn’t real, she couldn’t have… Then the smell hit her. Her nose crinkled in disgust. Her bottom felt warm and violated. She was frozen, partially stood up, especially now that a landmine was sitting in her pants. If she sat back down… “Dawn...honey?” Of course. Had she forgotten, there were two spectators right beside her. Shakily she turned her head. Katherine was looking concerned, as per usual, meanwhile the other Amazon looked quite amused. She wanted to pass it off, to pretend like nothing had happened. Keep going with the attitude that she wanted nothing to do with Katherine, and she certainly didn’t. Especially not now. She didn’t want anything to do with anybody, including herself. Not looking like this. Not after doing what she just did…! “I...I...” She couldn’t keep her head straight. It was all a frazzle. It smelled horrendous and she just couldn’t accept what had happened. How? Why? Dawn watched in a stunned silence as Katherine reached over the carriage, plucking a large pack of diapers off the shelf. Her eyes followed the package right to the very point it fell into the carriage. On...everything else. Fuck...shit! Forgetting her one resolve, her golden rule, she finally looked inside the carriage. She could see everything that was grabbed and gotten. It was a pile of weapons and horror. Instruments of infantile terrorism and babification. Enough to arm a small country of expecting mothers. Onesies, rompers, skirts, pants. A few pacifiers, bottles, wipes...baby powder… There were no punches being pulled. It was all there. All the things she knew they’d be getting, but didn’t want to accept… She could feel herself going lightheaded. “Are there any changing rooms nearby?” Katherine asked the employee, who was more than obliged to point. “Thank you...” The Amazon in charge came back to the front of the carriage where Dawn still remained half-suspended. Frozen with embarrassment and sheer disbelief. The thousand yard stare only continued the agonizingly long stretch to wherever it was that they were going. Dawn had truly become a statue. Keeping her foul-smelling backside off its seat meant she had to hold herself off of it in place like it was an exercise. Her thousand-yard stare looked far beyond Katherine’s torso, who was ignored entirely as she tried to get through to the girl. This wasn’t right. This wasn’t happening. A dream. A horrible, bad dream. She’d given up on believing this entire dimension was a farce, which is why it was just some nightmare from sleeping in her hotel room. And if not that...then on the bed of blankets back at James and Katherine’s home. That had to be it. She prayed to any spirit or higher power that would make it so and wipe this unreal experience all away. “Where is...oh, right here!” Katherine jerked the cart back at a door they had passed and it was more than plenty to jerk Dawn as well. Her hands slipped, she lost her grip. It was like in slow motion, yet happened far faster than her delicate emotions could already handle. There was a sudden mucky squish as her rounded bottom partly flattened against the plastic seat and mashed her bottom against her very own mess. She shuddered with a kickstart to her emotions, jumped and primed; she found it in herself to sniffle with watering eyes, biting her lower lip just to hang on to whatever dignity she thought she had, that her imagination fooled her into believing. “Dawn, honey, it’s okay…!” Katherine tried to soothe her. The cart was stopped and aligned with the wall. All Dawn registered was a pair of hands reaching for her crotch. She didn’t understand and was too disoriented and too feral to let anyone near her. Angrily and embarrassingly she tried to fight off Katherine’s hands, yet Amazonian strength was unrivaled and so was her carriage seat buckle, but not for Katherine. “I know sweetie, I know...it feels yucky, doesn’t it?” Katherine soothed and cooed. She didn’t sound distant or depressed anymore. She wasn’t hurting because Dawn was hurting. She sobbed and cried, contemplating whether she really was herself or not. She was a college girl, not a toddler! She didn’t piss or shit her pants, so why now? In her sobbing state Katherine walked into a small restroom with a single toilet and dreadfully, a changing table built into the wall. She had to have had an allergic reaction to something, maybe...but what? Then it clicked. Clicking much later than it should have. “Th...the...” she hiccupped and sobbed, then physically recoiled with cringe the moment Katherine laid her down on the table. Wait, what was happening? Was she cleaning her off? “The chocolate…!” Katherine could only frown with confusion as she tried to decipher her words. A world of context was buried inside Dawn’s head, and yet next to none of it seemed to reach with her words. The chocolate, that had to have been it. Something didn’t agree with her, and all that she had today was that chocolate and some toast and eggs… She didn’t like eggs, but it all seemed normal, but so did the chocolate… Katherine looked fine, and they both ate the same things, so was it? It had to be…! “Just...just give me a second...” Dawn heaved through blurry eyes, and yet her world started falling backwards the moment she felt her bottom once more pressed against a hard surface. The sweater came off and she was just in a shirt and unfortunately used diaper. “Please...wait outside…! Just let me clean up; this isn’t me! I don’t do this!” “Dawn, please, let me help?” “I DON’T WANT ANY HELP!” she screamed as loud as she could, as much as her lungs allowed her to. Katherine’s look didn’t change though, she could have been deaf as far as reactions were concerned. Her forlorn expression stayed while she stood beside the plastic table Dawn felt too gross to move on. It smelled, she was disgusted and wanted to disappear. Take off her skin and replace it with a new coat; anything to get away from such a humiliating act. “I can’t just leave you in here...” “Why not?!” she bitterly cried, too out of sorts to figure out the obvious answers. “You’re too small to be left alone in here, Dawn. It’s just a messy diaper, honey? Please, I’m not mad, I’m not upset...” “Don’t...don’t talk about it like it’s nothing!” Dawn sobbed through her shouts. “I’m a fucking grown adult, Katherine…! I use the toilet, not fucking diapers! I...I was drugged. Something didn’t agree with me, I don’t know, but I didn’t do this!” “...So you’re saying that someone made you mess your diaper?” “Yes!” She answered far too quickly on a sense of impulse to fully digest Katherine’s words. Skepticism, if even that, was potent with her words. Obviously doubtful and far less trusting, the Amazon sounded. The way she had asked, it was almost like a whimsical way of humoring a toddler’s banter. Katherine didn’t sound like she believed a single word that she said. All baseless and imaginary conspiracies. “It was the chocolate!” Dawn said with only half-certainty, but her gut told her that could have been the only thing. “That...that free sample! That made me!” She could barely move anymore, lest she be reminded, but that awful smell…! “The chocolate that I ate too?” Katherine asked, yet essentially attacked her argument in the same breath. “You don’t need to lie, and you don’t need to feel embarrassed...” It was a slippery slope because Dawn started panicking the moment a strap came over her stomach. Instantly worries of panic started coming from her mouth as she tried to sit up, yet Katherine gently eased her back with a firm touch. “Just lay back, okay? Please let me clean you up? You feel yucky, don’t you? It’s just you and me in here, no one else. You’ll be clean in just a few minutes, so try and relax...please.” It was a constant war of pain, sadness, hope, and concern in her voice. She must have been warring with the side of herself utterly heartbroken by Dawn’s outright rejection and hatred, yet still burning with a supposed passion to continue mothering her. “I...I don’t know…! You’re an Amazon, I’m a...a Little,” she started to say, hopefully appealing to her logic through similar words. “Food affects us differently? I didn’t do this though. I didn’t shit myself! And I don’t care if it’s just us, I want it to be just ME!” Katherine only continued to look beside herself. At no point though did it ever look to Dawn like she was on the verge of “listening” or “giving in.” Against her better judgment, Dawn started kicking her legs to fight the woman off, which only made the feelings and sensations worse in her full diaper, heightening the gross factor while her nostrils continued to be violated. Katherine didn’t leave though. She didn’t retreat. Deftly she grabbed her by the ankles with a single hand, looping them together with a single swoop. It was like trying to shoot a water gun at the sun. She stared at Dawn with a mixed expression. A lot was on the woman’s mind, but Dawn hardly cared. So much more was on the forefront of her mind that issues secondary to herself were far from being worth consideration. “Take...” Katherine started, but took a breath before firming herself. “Take off your diaper. Take off your diaper, then I’ll let you finish.” And then she set on the table what was previously out of view. Wipes. Powder… Another diaper. “I will.” Dawn wiped her eyes, resisting a strong urge to sweep all the supplies off the table. It was certainly odd being given the go-ahead by Katherine, especially after being denied this morning, but she wasn’t going to argue objectively a good thing. Slipping both hands under the beginnings of the diaper tapes, she got a good grip, pulled, and teared adhesive from plastic. Except it didn’t. She grunted a small amount the moment she pulled on the tapes. The diaper pulled up a tiny bit, yet that also meant her lower half inside of it as well. She tried pulling again, audibly making noises of stress as the tapes refused to budge. “What...what?” Dawn angrily pulled and pulled, exhaling into exhaustion as the pain in her wrist was starting to flare up once again. “It’s...what’s with this?!” “It’s a diaper, Dawn.” Katherine gently lowered her hand on one of the tapes. She grabbed the end, then peeled it off with a loud crackle of plastic and adhesive like it was nothing, as if the holy sword had rejected Dawn in place of a different favored hero. “You...you tricked me!” she growled, now vigorously trying to pull at the one tape she had left just to prove herself. But it wouldn’t move, barely at all. How could this be possible?! “I didn’t trick you. I would never trick you,” she said with a voice thick with emotion. “It’s like your car seat; these things are made for Amazons to take care of.” Of course, it only felt so obvious in retrospect. If car seats that acted like prisons for Littles were only accessible by the jailer themselves, why wouldn’t it be the same for diapers? Different cell, same locking mechanism. “So you knew...you just wanted to see me make a fool of myself?” Dawn bitterly asked. She certainly did feel like a fool for not setting her expectations even lower. “No!” Katherine finally responded with some volume, for once. “Why? Why do you think everything that I try to do for you is against you? Why do you think I’m always trying to attack you? Humiliate you? Hurt you? I showed you because you wouldn’t believe me otherwise!” “Because you do try to hurt me! You tried kidnapping me and now I’m fucking stuck here in this fucking AWFUL dimension!” Dawn screamed right back, as low on the totem pole as she could be with a half-worn diaper filled with her own waste, shouting from a changing table up at the woman trying to handle her. And for once, Katherine laughed. The laugh of a fragile soul still on the precipice of insanity. “I...I don’t get it! I-if James and I didn’t stop you from being taken by...” Her eyes were already starting to water, but she took a deep breath, reeling back in the tears. “I...I try to be nice. I try to discipline you, but that’s only because you don’t listen…!” Dawn scoffed. “Discipline me? Don’t talk like I’m your fucking child!” If anger was doing her any favors, it at least helped her forget what she was wearing. “Because you ARE ONE!” Katherine finally shouted. The room fell silent. Katherine’s hands were clenched with a hot and frustrated look. “You’re a brat. A rude, inconsiderate little girl that can’t tell the difference between someone trying to help you or hurt you! You don’t show any gratitude for the things people do for you, or realize just how much worse it could be for yourself if James and I weren’t so willing to help you! I try to buy the things you might like. I try to ask for your opinions at every point. I offer everything to you! But no. You give me rude and mean looks. You say nasty things about me and my husband. You kick, scream, pout and fight when things don’t go your way. And finally, when you mess your own diaper, you try to pass off the blame onto someone else and you won’t even let me change you!” It was too much to attack. Was this even an argument anymore? Dawn quietly breathed as she looked no less pissed, but was obviously more quiet now. “You say naughty words when I ask you not to, you don’t ever have anything nice to say to me…!” She sniffled once more. “I’m...I’m committed to you Dawn, and I’m not giving up. But it just hurts...it hurts so much…! You’ve been ignoring me and treating me like a piece of dirt! I apologized for not telling you the full story. What I did was wrong and I know that now, but I will not be treated as something less than just because you want to throw a tantrum all day!” “IT’S NOT A TANTRUM!” Dawn seethed right back. Katherine didn’t recoil. Instead she entered the fray. While Dawn screamed and shouted, Katherine went about the diaper change like it was mostly nothing. She tore off the other tape, pulled out the diaper. Wiped her bottom, unfolded the new one, powdered… “I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! I HATE JAMES!” The whole way Katherine carried out the diaper change with a stone-faced expression. Even after the change was finished, Katherine stood there while Dawn continued to kick and scream, still strapped to the table, burning her rage like it was nuclear fission. Hate. Hate. Hate. The longer she went, the more fuel she burned leading to less and less creativity in her malice and ire, losing the sharp edges of whatever words that may have hurt, simply devolving into clay lumps of hate and ridicule. Katherine looked no less upset, yet she masked it with her stern expression, truly peeved yet hurt all the same. And so they stayed like that for almost another ten minutes, but for Dawn an eternity. It kept on going until her voice croaked and was beginning just to feel raspy. Her throat was dry and tired. All her words were spent and then some. She was exhausted. The horrible smell was thankfully gone, but was replaced with an unfortunately equally as potent smell of baby powder. “...We’re going to go back outside now. I think we got enough of what we need for today. After we buy everything we’re going home. Does that work for you?” “I hate you.” Dawn motionlessly replied from the changing table, staring up at the ceiling. “And I love you.” Katherine just as harshly replied. “You love having a doll that looks pretty.” Not that she considered herself so, but she knew Katherine did. “No. I love you. I just wish you could open up to me more, because I know that you have so much more for me to love, even if you say so many mean things to me.” The moment Katherine’s overhanging head became Dawn’s view, she averted her gaze. The moment the buckle came off, Dawn looked down at herself, grimacing. Puppies. She really did grab a package. Obviously. Diapers didn’t come from thin air, but the overabundance she’d been seeing could make her think otherwise. Dawn truly did hang in her arms like a lifeless doll while she tried to reflect, or at least think of the situation as it was. It irked her so annoyedly about the diaper situation. They were just like the car seat… She wouldn’t be able to take them off on her own if she tried. Maybe with a knife or scissors? But again, it was another degree of confinement she was powerless against. After all this though, once they were finally back home, the diaper came off. Without a doubt. Once they emerged from the bathroom, the mind-numbing shopping tunes hummed over the superstore, reminding Dawn just what hell she was still trapped in. Before Dawn was sat back in the carriage, however, Katherine leaned into the cart and pulled something out. It was a pair of pants. Sort of. More of those faux jeans with an elastic waistband. The pockets were fake and the “stitching” was superficial. More pretend “grown-up” clothes. Especially when they were a soft purple, probably the closest to black she could ever get in a place like this. “Would you like to wear these?” Katherine asked expectantly. And did the moon come out when it was night time? Dawn side-eyed her. They both knew the answer, which begs a whole new question of why Katherine asked to begin with. There was an angle. A trick. Something. It was always about extortion; an ulterior motive. Dawn knew it, just somehow… “No?” Per recent developments, silence apparently no longer meant consent, which is why she started putting them back in the cart. “Fine! Yes, I want to wear them.” Dawn wore a sour-faced expression. “What? What do you want? What do I have to do?” Katherine paused then took them back out. Without a word, she stood Dawn in the cart, helping her feed her legs into the pants then tugged them up. They stretched and conformed. Unfortunately, even Dawn could tell that they were merely an accentuator rather than a concealer… “Nothing.” Katherine lifted her back into the carriage seat then buckled her. “I want to be nice.” And she went back to pushing the carriage. That take was unexpected, but then again, it wasn’t. As Dawn remembered, apparently Katherine was so “prideful” about taking the high road, or whatever disillusioned path she set herself on. Her idea of kindness was exactly why their relationship was where it is. It didn’t change much in the grand scheme at all, but at least she finally had pants again... Did ya enjoy the chapter? Can't wait for more? It's a plug, but a good one! Read 4 more chapters of Illegal Immigrant and 3 more of Sheltered RIGHT NOW on my Patreon! For every 1 chapter that is released publicly, that means at least 2 more have been dropped on Patreon by then! Otherwise, no pressure, and please be patient for the next few weeks for the next public chapter to release! Thank you all so much for reading and commenting!

Gasp. Sheila strikes with a big sisterly motive?! Dare we even ask the question whether Joyce is being firm enough with Emily or not... Or at the very least, maybe she's left to her own devices a bit too often...! That's sort of what I was going for in this case. That being said, it's very funny and cool to think that some folks might have just as much or maybe even a slightly better understanding of the story's continuity than I do...!

Worry not, for Emily is a smart cookie. If the sleeper couldn't be taken off by herself, I don't think she would've been able to get it on, lol. However! Lest we not forget that Joyce made sure to have at least one of those kinds of outfits made...! Uh-oh. Something may have been awakened in Sheila... With Joyce and her personal "demons," it's really just her desires being allowed to fester. Though I think only with time Emily's growing herself and finding a better fit with her "role" that allows her to rise to the challenge! Thanks for the comment! I'm sure Sheila would be respectful of boundaries. Probably. But of course, I can totally see an angle with Sheila justifying all of this as more direct assistance for her boss...! Thank you for the comment! Blegh, you caught me again! More mistakes that I will not (knock on wood) be repeating again! Thank you for putting my feet on the fire with this stuff, haha. Slightly embarrassing, but I'd rather it be mentioned than ignored...! As for Sheila knocking, I don't necessarily have any diabolical reason for that. I figured it as knocking just because. Common courtesy sort of thing, or following through on a habit regardless of the situation? Yeah, I think Sheila's just about 90-95% in on the know now. Only thing that's left I think is to catch her temporary charge in a diaper? But given everything that's happened by this point, in business terms, it's probably just a formality. While there may be some advocates for Sheila, I do think she needs a reminder to restrain herself. Snooping for the sake of one's own curiosity I can't say counts as good intentions. Thank you very much! Yes, how will things go with Sheila? With Joyce?! So much suspense! Somebody better get the spray bottle. If corner time and stern talking-to's do it for Emily, surely something similar will work for the secretary? And yeah, it always starts out as curiosity, doesn't it? I'm sure Emily felt something similar at the start...! Though, just maybe, at least for Sheila, she may have yet to be completely honest with herself... Thank you for always leaving your thoughts!

40 - Out of Town “What?” “Mmmmfmmm.” Were her ears working properly? “C-come again?” Joyce tried not to smile. “Mmmmfmm!” “Wait, found the problem,” Joyce grinned, hooking the ring and pulling a pacifier out of Emily’s mouth. “Try that again?” “I said, what’re you gonna do without me tomorrow?” Emily rolled from one side of the bed to the other, all with her padded behind peering over a pajama pant waistband that was far too undersized for a girl in oversized protection. “I may not be a scholar, but I’m pretty sure that wasn’t what you were saying with that pacifier…” “Yes it was. You just need to keep studying,” Emily declared right before smothering her mouth into Pip. Joyce leaned forward on the bed, snatching Emily by the bare waist with her hands, dragging her back to the foot of the bed. “Mommy’s just about ready to give up. It might just be something meant for cute little tots like you?” “So you mean I’d have my own secret language that I can use to keep secrets from you?” “Maybe, but who else is just as fluent as you?” And in the midst of their chit-chat, Joyce tugged down the front of Emily’s pajama pants, feeling the warm front of her diaper before tugging it back up without a comment. A silent signal that a change had yet to be warranted. “And since we agreed on no secrets,” Joyce slightly paused for dramatic effect, and as a teeny tiny legitimate reminder, “I can only imagine you might be scheming about…hmm…playing hide and seek from me? Maybe hiding Mommy’s favorite pair of shoes? Trying to hide a soggy diapie from me? Huh? Huh?” “Stop!” Emily giggled, “No tickles! No secrets! I promise! Promise!” “And don’t forget it~,” Joyce sealed their pact with a kiss on the forehead. Then she sighed, “But yes, that is a very good question,” now she really was sulking, “what am I going to do without you tomorrow…” “I don’t mind going too?” Emily tried a route long-since shutdown once more. “Thank you for offering again,” Joyce smiled affectionately, “but you know that this dinner is going to run past your bedtime?” “I don’t have a bedtime…” Emily groaned. “You certainly do on business dinner nights?” Joyce raised her brow, but eventually softened her expression. “I want to bring you too, but since Carol invited me, it just wouldn’t be polite. Or at least, it’s important that it looks like a business trip and not a vacation...” “So are you gonna invest?” Now the night before the event, Emily admittedly was a bit curious. “Invest?” Joyce’s tone carried uncertainty, but optimism. “No idea. It may be all fetish stuff, but a good idea is a good idea. Though…I can’t exactly say I know a whole lot about fetishes.” The wolf was trying to pretend it was a sheep, but Emily with a grin kept that thought to herself. “What? You don’t?” Okay, maybe not. “And neither do you, missy,” Joyce fired right back with a little bit of competition. “Part of investing is about making educated guesses. Knowing what works from experience and figuring if there’s a market for it. Didn’t Carol mention something about fursuits when we were at their house?” Her face was covered in skepticism. “I wouldn’t even know the first thing…” “Maybe it’ll all be super weird and freaky stuff,” Emily openly marveled, “like…like super hardcore torture stuff? Or people that wear latex and have orgies?” Joyce wasn’t as well-versed as Carol, but she knew when her little girl’s mind was starting to run awry. “Maybe?” She shrugged. “But that’s what I’ll find out. More importantly, my flight is in the morning a little bit after around when you’d be waking up. Want me to give you my goodbye kisses before bed tonight?” Sometimes things just had to be done out of courtesy, regardless of whether you knew what the answer would be or not. Emily, giving the expected response with a dash of frowny-face, said, “No. I want you to wake me up tomorrow before you leave. Promise me?” With a pinky hooked with hers, Joyce leaned in, “Promise,” right before kissing her on the lips. “Maybe while I’m gone I can leave you with a babysitter?” “Excuse me?” “Just to keep you from getting bored?” Joyce shrugged nonchalantly, holding back the teasy part of her voice. “I have Pip,” Emily held the mochi defensively. “I’ll be fine.” “Relax, I’m kidding. Or I don’t have to be? Amy said she wants to double check some measurements, you know? You two could make a day out of it?” Emily narrowed her gaze, finally able to see a speeding bullet just peeking on the horizon. “I’m not wearing diapers for Amy.” “She didn’t say which measurements,” Joyce laughed. “Either way, if that was the case, the only way it’d happen is if she was fine with diapering you herself.” And Emily being okay with it at all, first and foremost. “What? I’d do it myself?” “No?” Joyce innocently, but firmly, put down her freedoms. “We agreed, remember? Little girls don’t get to change their own diapers?” “But strangers do?” Just where was Emily on this totem pole? “Grown-ups do,” Joyce corrected with a boop on the nose. “Grown-ups we both agree on.” “Which is only you,” Emily quickly added, suddenly feeling the slight need to make mention of such an important point. “Only Mommy,” Joyce nodded with a pearly smile. They laid there some more while Joyce absentmindedly traced circles in the comforter. “But…what would you think about including someone else?” “Huh?” There wasn’t any Jazz music or ambient noise that could be stopped to insinuate the jarring surprise, but the diaper crinkling certainly ceased. “I dunno,” Joyce shrugged, “I’m just thinking out loud. Like if there was someone else that could interact with you when you’re my baby girl?” “You mean…sharing me?” Was this actually Joyce she was speaking with? “No. Not sharing.” Joyce didn’t look happy to hear the ‘S’ word, which was something that finally made sense to Emily, given a slew of jealousy this woman was known to harbor. “Someone who…adds to the lifestyle? Does something for you that I can’t?” Emily at best was keeping a sideways look. “I mean…I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t like this now, sort of, but…I think you’re a big reason why I like it, Joyce…” she murmured her lips, avoiding eye contact, “...Mommy…” Joyce giggled, kissing her again. “And you’re one-hundred percent of the reason why I like it, my little Emmy.” She breathed quietly for a few moments before saying, “I guess I mean someone like…like an actual babysitter, or…or a private tutor that’s like your personal daytime daycare teacher?” “Are you being serious right now?” It wasn’t phrased in any sort of ridiculing way, but as a means to try and decipher fact from fiction when there were sparkles in Joyce’s eyes. “No…and yes…a little…” she exhaled. “If I’m being honest, I think I get carried away with my dreams a little bit…” “I think so too,” Emily giggled with her hands on her lover’s waist. “Besides, wouldn’t that risk your reputation or something? If something like that got out?” “Yes, but…” A mind with desires was the worst fiend to be in the company of. A pestering trickster that sat atop her shoulders 24/7 with as much time as it pleased to exercise reason and rationale just to make the impossible seem possible. “There’s…you know…discretion.” “I think you’re mommying a bit too hard, Mommy,” Emily spoke upwards to her star-gazing girlfriend. “I think so too… Maybe it’s Mommy’s bedtime? “Afraid so,” Emily sighed the most ‘oh my hopeless girlfriend’ sigh she could ever muster, then stood on her feet, hanging by the doorway. “Did you forget something?” Joyce asked from her spot on the bed, just as comfy as she was a few seconds ago. Apparently the mood hadn’t been mutually understood. “I…” Emily’s eyes shift down, then back at the door, then on repeat just a couple more times. “Weren’t we gonna…take it off?” “Change your diaper, honey?” Joyce innocently asked with a tone of syrup. “I just checked you, silly; I think you’ll be fine.” “But you’re leaving early tomorrow?” “And I think I’d be a bad mommy if I left my little girl in a wet diaper the entire time I’m on my trip, but just as bad if I let you go to bed without a diaper on?” Then with a cautious hand against her cheek she said in a lowered voice, “What if you have an accident, sweetheart?” “I…” Her cheeks were red, meaning an embarrassing talking-to had been well-executed. “I’ll have you all taken care of, Emmy,” she beckoned her back to the bed. “Or did you want to sleep in your crib tonight? We can do that too?” It didn’t take any more than that to get a padded waddle back over to the bed. “No. I’m fine.” “Good. I was hoping to snuggle all night? Just so I don’t forget what it feels like tomorrow?” Questions then went on to be answered with actions, and actions only beget more actions. Joyce, with such a ripe fruit hanging right before her, played Emily like an instrument. Hearing her embarrassed squirm, Joyce tugged down her pajama bottoms in full, past the ankles and soon onto the floor. “Hey…!” Emily whined, something she was unfortunately building a knack for. “Shush, it’s just in case,” Joyce couldn’t hide her rosy-cheek smile. “If you leak I don’t want you to ruin your pretty PJs?” “I won’t leak!” Emily could find pleasure in the idea of being small, but she wasn’t accustomed to playing make-believe about her bladder. “I know you won’t, because Mommy keeps you in the best-est diapers!” Joyce giggled again, kissing her all over. “And actually,” she paused to ponder a thought, “there was that one time when Mom and Dad were here; you did have an accident on the couch, sweetie? Remember?” “No I didn–!” Emily started to say, then the memory inserted itself and the embarrassment spread through her like a parasyte. “Th-that was different! That was just water! It was a…” And for lack of a better word under a panicked mind, Emily, bless her innocent soul, cried, “It was a different kind of accident!” And Joyce, overjoyed by her use of the a-word, only chuckled fondly. “And I love you no less,” she kissed her again. With such a limited bag of tricks already vetted by her Mommy, Emily played her strongest card, threatening, “Maybe I’ll just go sleep in the other bed tonight if you’re gonna tease me so much…” “Yeah?” Joyce caressed her cheek. “Wanna have some crib time?” “No. The other bed. My old room.” “That’s where the guests stay, silly. It’s either here with me in the big girl bed or in your crib?” Whether it was because Emily suffered from chronic gullibility or Joyce was simply good at forcing an atmosphere, an altered reality was all the diapered girl could see. Knocking her head into Joyce’s side, she laid there with her mind made up. “You’re like politics…” Emily grumbled. It didn’t make sense in such a characteristic way which is why Joyce could only start with a laugh. “Excuse me?” “Lesser of two evils, and stuff…” “Ah-huh… Well, before you push any of Mommy’s buttons, do you want something to drink before bed?” “Coffee Milk.” “Juice it is,” Joyce rose from the bed. “Stay put.” “I didn’t ask for juice!” Emily droned with a groan at the open doorway, which her girlfriend had already passed through. “Emmy? Baby?” Joyce made the first whisper of the morning into a sleeping Emily’s ear. “I gotta start getting ready now…you awake?” The sleepy and tired whine squeezed between her lips as she involuntarily stretched. “Hnnnmmm…!” With her eyes still closed, Emily’s hand probed itself around the bed, searching for the waist beside her and resting on it for as long as she could. Unfortunately it wasn’t long, to no one’s pleasure as only Joyce with her eyes open frowned to end the gesture so quickly. “I’m gonna get this diaper off you and into some big girl undies, ‘kay?” “Wha…what time is it…?” “Too early for you to be up,” she issued the tranquilizer with a tender kiss. “Keep those eyes closed, I gotta turn the light on.” A well-advised suggestion indeed, as even with her eyes shut Emily was rolling her face into the mattress just to escape the irritating light. A pair of hands found her waist as for just a brief moment her padded bum left the bed when Joyce tugged on the tapes of her diaper. It’d been wetter than last time Joyce checked last night, which was always nice to see. Though for Emily she was likely too tired to care, and would never admit how secretly appreciative she was becoming of its sponge-like qualities. And through the pillow Emily sleepily mumbled, “I’ll…in a second...too…” “Mhm?” Joyce whimsically cooed back, finding Emily’s sleep babble somewhat akin to a tyke rambling through a change. Her words didn’t need to have any meaning, and all Joyce needed to do was acknowledge and love right back. One trip to the nursery later and one trip back, Emily was where she was left on the bed, only naked from the waist down now, but not for much longer. It was mind-boggling to think of how much wearing diapers could force a paradigm shift or flip her world view. That’s to say, the shift back to panties was always a weird one when it felt like she wasn’t wearing anything at all, essentially. No more thickness, none of the crinkle to remind her of what she was wearing, and none of the intimate checks from her girlfriend either. Right as Joyce turned to leave, a hand of the living dead rose from its eternal slumber to snatch the wrist of the living. She turned her head to see Emily using her as a foothold for dragging herself out of bed. “No, no, silly,” Joyce laughed as she forced her back on the bed, “I said too early for a reason.” “No…” she started, then continued one yawn later, “diapers…no rules… I wanna be up when you leave…” “I thought we just agreed on goodbye kisses?” Seeing as her girlfriend had no intentions of abetting her efforts to stay awake, Emily slumped herself to the other side of the bed, finally rising from the torso and up. “And I gotta be awake for it…” And then on a whim, though feeling the most desirable, Emily asked, “Can I come to the airport with you?” “What? Emily, you should be in bed right now. No, no airports.” Stumbling onto her feet like a newborn doe, Emily crashed into Joyce’s arms. “Why not? Charles’ driving, isn’t he…?” Being tired made it so easy to act spoiled. “Can’t he just drive me back here?” It most certainly was possible, and more than likely not an issue. But for Emily’s sake, Joyce decided to rewrite reality. “No, because that’s not what I told him to prepare for, sweetheart. Besides, you know what’d happen if you went along for the ride, right?” “What?” “I’d definitely have to stuff a cutie like you in my suitcase then! Mwah! Mwah!” Between her giggles, Emily relented. “Okay…fine…” Joyce tugged her suitcase on wheels to the front entrance while Emily dozed around, half-slumped against the walls to support herself as she watched, barely managing to qualify as an alert spectator. In a blazer and slacks, Joyce couldn’t stop herself from kissing her panty-and-pajama-shirt girlfriend each time she had to pass by, or at least made up a reason to. And trying to be as much help as she possibly could, Emily asked, “And do you have…uhm…the stuff?” “Yes; I double, triple, then quadruple checked,” Joyce assured, even though “the stuff” was as clear as Emily’s current state of mind. One buzz later on Joyce’s phone and they were sharing their final embrace. “I’ll be back tomorrow in the afternoon, okay?” “Mhm…” Emily nodded, though trying not to come off as somber. “Stop it,” Joyce grinned, “this is a thousand times harder for me, you know? Alright, be good; call me if you need anything, because I’m definitely going to be calling you. There’s food in the fridge, no ice cream– don’t give me that look!” she warned, both playfully and not so playfully. “And most importantly, I love-love-love you very much!” “Love you too…” Emily came back with a blush, a hug, and a final kiss. “Promise me one thing?” Joyce asked. “What?” “Once I leave, go back to bed.” “...Fine.” And with that the door was opened and closed, and the penthouse was one less in attendance for more than 24 hours. For at least two of those, however, would immediately be spent going back to bed, per the warden’s order. “Joyce!” “Carol!” Just outside of the baggage pickup of the airport, they shared a hug before putting Joyce’s luggage in the car and driving off. “How was the flight?”Carol asked from the driver’s seat. “I’m sorry we couldn’t fly in together, by the way! I had to take care of some other stuff; I’m so glad you decided to come!” “I appreciate the invite, and yeah, the flight wasn’t too bad. I think I can only say that though because I always try to get a good seat… How’s Michael and Jackie, by the way?” “Good! They’re up to the usual, but Jackie wants to know when you two are coming over again!” she paused to laugh, “I’m so sorry! I think my daughter considers you two as part of her friend group.” After laughing herself, Joyce said, “Well it’s good to hear that everyone’s doing good. We’ll definitely have to get together again, sometime.” “Oh! I forgot! How’s Emily?” She couldn’t help herself when she let out a small phantom pain, “Awh~. I told her the only reason she couldn’t come to the airport with me was because I’d try and stuff her in my bag.” “Homesick already?” “Admittedly, yes…” Joyce awkwardly drew circles on her thigh. “Since we started…dating,” and how wonderful it felt to be able to say that, “this is the first time I’ve left on a trip. Normally I feel fine, but this time is just…” “Like you’re always anxious about how things are at home?” “Yes!” she blurted out immediately, then just as quickly recomposed herself. “I mean– Yes, it feels like that a lot…” It was a bit shameful the way she’d reacted, but it was also entertaining, given Carol’s laugh. “You remind me so much of when I first had Jackie! I didn’t get to have a whole lot of time off with her until I had to go back to work. Just going to the office was like torture; being away from her for so long. I tried to avoid trips like these as much as possible just to be home as much as possible. Only after Michael talked me out of it did I start getting comfortable again. At least for me, I’d call it Mother’s separation anxiety. I’m sure you’re probably going through a similar thing.” “Mm…” Now Joyce was the quiet one in the relationship, mulling over what likely was MSA. Mommy Separation Anxiety. Commonly confused with GSA, the girlfriend variant, though much more severe. “You could give her a call right now, you know?” “I want to, but if I’m right, she should still be asleep right now. She was up to see me out the door, but I made her go right back to bed afterward.” “Michael’s usually the same way, but if I have too many flights in too short of a time, he usually calls it ‘taking a rain-check’ on giving his goodbyes,” Carol snickered, “I don’t blame him. I don’t like getting up early either.” “You should see her,” Joyce was already digging at the thought in her head, “the poor thing barely handles early times just as much as late ones! I brought her to a business dinner a few weeks ago, and after just a few drinks…” Aimless wandering around the apartment unfortunately made for quite the terrible pastime. No Joyce meant no excitement, and all that was left was job hunting, but her boredom and unease from her girlfriend being away put her in a mood that didn’t want to do anything involved. Not only that, but Joyce probably wouldn’t give her the password to the parental lock on the computer. Maybe she should go out? Then her feet came to a halt once the thought had hit her. Go out and do what? By herself? The silence spoke of her awkwardness. “Maybe I should be friend hunting instead of looking for a job…” Was it bad that she was thinking of Amy right then? Was Joyce being serious about her wanting to come over? Was it still too late? Then she remembered the diapers. Without Joyce? Absolutely not. Never. It was bizarre how thoughts alone could make a person feel embarrassed. That one time alone was plenty enough anxiety-inducing. Besides, Emily wasn’t allowed to change her own diapers, so that would mean– Falling into her hands, she groaned aloud, “Urgggh…!” Of course she’d be able to put on her own diaper then! Joyce had wrapped her fingers around her so tightly, it was hard discerning left from right anymore. She loved it, truly, but if it couldn’t cloud her judgment at times… It was more than likely going to be a do-nothing day. A do-nothing day that included ice cream, whether her girlfriend liked it or not. She wasn’t here so Emily didn’t have to listen. That thought felt liberating, and quite empowering, actually. “Just a comfy, do-nothing day…” she whispered her plan, then nodded to herself once the confidence had been found. And on her way to the bedroom to find a nice pair of sweatpants, like a photo on the wall being slightly ajar, something caught the corner of Emily’s vision. A door that was usually closed had the slightest crack in it. It was enough to stop on a dime, enough to watch and stare for a good few seconds, and enough to slightly nudge the uncharacteristically unlocked door open just a smidgen more. And a little more. And just a little more. In an absolutely shocking turn of events, Emily was standing inside the nursery. Alone. Unattended. Unsupervised. It was a bit ridiculous, but an odd sort of giddiness or curiosity infected the woman standing there. Had Joyce forgotten to lock it? She usually doesn’t forget that kind of stuff, so to see a rare mistake like this was quite the oddity as well as treat. She imagined it as almost like witnessing behind the scenes of some grand picture or play. Being at your school in the dead of night; being somewhere at a time you’re not supposed to be. Without Joyce, her mommy, what power, if any, did anything in this room have over her? Lots, certainly, but all without the director to orchestrate it all. Maybe she could tease Joyce about forgetting later on the phone. Striking herself with a newly brilliant idea, Emily wandered over to the closet, stepping inside. There weren’t many, but all her specially designed outfits hung on the racks, freshly cleaned and ready to be worn. Mischief may have been her cause, because half the reason she stayed in this room was simply because she could never imagine getting a chance like this again. Getting to explore the nursery by herself? Without consequence or reprimand? A small smile grew on her face. She was trying to get comfy, wasn’t she? The perks to having been babied already meant acquiring some kind of tolerance for it at this point. She’d still blush, she’d still go quiet and meek, but that at least meant by now she could certainly tolerate herself. She looked back at the mirror as she held up the footie pajamas against herself. It was cute…naturally, considering Amy had made it. And she was by herself. Alone. She could wear it, be comfy, put it back after, lock up the nursery herself, and no one would ever know. No one. Excitement and intrigue were dangerous things, because Emily didn’t even recognize herself anymore as she stripped her shirt, unzipped the back of the pajamas and stepped inside. The inside was lined with a cool, soft material, like a soothing hug all over. It was strange, but the secure feeling she got as she watched herself in the mirror trace the zipper up her back was wonderfully suffocating. Since when did she enjoy stuff like this? Her confused look warbled into a bashful grin. Joyce had been her constant drug and she was probably starting to form an addiction. She bent and stretched, just to feel and watch the pajamas conform and follow her every move. It was silly, but that’s why she couldn’t help but laugh. But most importantly, it was comfy, far more so than what sweat pants would afford her, which is why she kept it on. Leaving everything as it was, she resumed her trip to the bedroom, only to grab Pip and head over to the couch. Turning on the tv and finding a nice spot, she was all set. “So it doesn’t officially ‘start’ until later tonight,” Carol explained with air quotes, “but usually we get together for drinks beforehand.” Joyce listened as she unpacked. “That’s fine by me. Though…I don’t suppose I could have a little coaching on what to maybe expect? I am curious, but I guess I don’t want to look completely like a fish out of water…” Scouting investment opportunities wasn’t a foreign concept to her, but in the way of kinks certainly was. “Don’t worry; everyone at this event is extremely professional. After all, they want our money,” Carol laughed, and so did Joyce. “Sure, I can tell you a little bit about what I’ve seen in the past. Before that though, maybe you want to try giving Emily a call? I know I’m gonna call back home.” She may have just been looking for the go-ahead, because Joyce was already pulling out her phone. “Yes, definitely. Is it okay if I borrow the bathroom?” “All yours.” A few minutes later Joyce was sitting on the edge of the tub with her phone held against her ear, waiting for the quiet buzz. “I was expecting that to take a little longer?” Carol sounded surprised as she finished hanging up her phone. “Me too,” Joyce sounded a bit glum, “I tried twice;” she chuckled, “she’s probably napping right now, if I had to guess.” “Did she have any plans for today?” “Mm…don’t think so. I think it might be just a lazy day for her. She might be feeling bored, though…” “Maybe you should’ve gotten her a babysitter then?” Carol chuckled. With her mind elsewhere, almost a bit too seriously Joyce let her unfiltered thoughts slip when she started to say, “Maybe…” Then caught herself a second later. “--Uhm, but… No, she’s fine, I’m sure. I’ll try calling her later.” “Sure,” Carol nodded with a smile. “Should we get going then?” “Sounds good to me.” Sleep was quite dangerous, and no other opinion could be offered otherwise. Losing blocks of time to just emptiness or dreams that kept the distracted mind entertained. Without alarm clocks or doting girlfriends the passage of time if left unchecked could be robbed entirely by the sleep demon. Emily groggily awoke to the sound of knocking, a half-slumbering mess as she rose from the couch. She yawned with Pip in her arm, near-stumbling over herself as her bare feet through the cuffs of her pajamas padded across the floor. She’d done it. She had slept the entire day away and then some. It was already tomorrow and Joyce was back. Sleeping for so long really could put a spell of guilt on a person. Imagine losing an entire day simply because your lover was gone? It sucked, but Emily couldn’t help but smile, knowing that Joyce was finally back! She wanted to know how the investment event went. Did she see anything weird? Meet anyone new? Was she buddies with Carol now? Emily debated waiting for Joyce to come in herself, just so she could lunge at her on no-heel days like she always did, but once she heard another knock, it became quite clear that Joyce had forgotten her key. Just like she’d forgotten to lock up the nursery. Apparently Emily wasn’t the only frazzled one. With her free hand on the door she unlocked and opened it, saying as she did so, “How did you forget so much stu–” “Oh?” “S-...” It was an intruder. A stranger. It wasn’t Joyce. What the hell was going on? Emily wanted to move for the door, but she was frozen. Not frozen, just scared, shell-shocked and frazzled. Rather, she even took a step back, the fool that she was. And like that it was too late. The person had entered, beyond the barrier that could’ve separated them once again. “E…Emily?” the person asked. And only then did it fully click. A name had come to mind. Did all the associated memories flood her head. “Sh…Sheila?” Emily quietly, in a painfully small voice whispered back. Sheila stood in front of her, bewildered and surprised to see Emily as much as she was to see her. She was in casual, modest attire with a purse over her shoulder. Emily could barely find the words as she looked up at her, then remembered herself what she was wearing. At least Emily was caught at a good time. Thankfully, no diapers to be seen and just her big-girl panties. Though, a silver lining like that didn’t matter when they were underneath her loud and colorful footie pajamas. The cherry on top though was the tightly clutched Pip by her side, only short by a special blankie for the full set. Her eyes couldn’t seem to look away from the girl. From her clothes. “Uhm…” Sheila broke the silence, blinking once or twice before reaffirming herself. She turned her head back to the doorway, stepping over just to close the door, committing them both inside. “Emily, right?” Emily would have liked to believe that she sounded normal, yet in a very objective squeak she said back, “Y-Yeah…” She wanted to bolt. She wanted to run, but her frozen emotions made it impossible to move. Just like for Sheila, she too remembered the last time that they had met. The memories for her however came much more vividly, on account of having far less substance in her bloodstream that night. Everything she’d done for Emily. She remembered that it was her job to watch her while Ms.Summers was working the rest of the dinner. It was her job to get Emily in her pajamas and into bed. It was her job to find her stuffed animal, or toy, or… “that,” was as best as she could describe when she instantly recognized the item being tightly squeezed by the girl. A litany of questions were already flooding the secretary’s head, which only inflated her sense of curiosity; a difficult thing to satisfy with anything other than the truth. “Wh…why…” The sound of a quiet and socially frightened Emily finally made Sheila snap out of it. “Oh! I…I’m sorry about the surprise. I’m here to pick up some of Ms.-- I mean Joyce’s files she brought from the office.” Since that night at the hotel Sheila had kicked the habit as soon as she formed it when it came to addressing her boss. It felt strange to use her last name around Emily. Like expecting a kid to know their parents as nothing but “mom” or “dad.” Why that was the comparison she thought of though was a different question entirely. Emily, while she tried not to implode from sheer embarrassment, paced the thoughts in her mind as to how Sheila could have come unannounced. It seemed very out of place, and so did Joyce forgetting things, but Sheila was trustworthy, or at least she was supposed to be. Joyce told Emily to see her as such, after all. “Do you want to call Joyce to double check?” Sheila asked with a step back into the shoe area. “I don’t mind waiting.” It was clear Emily felt uneasy and now it was mutually known. Emily frowned apologetically, “It’s…it’s not that, it’s just…” “It’s all right,” Sheila smiled, “Do you want me to call her? I could also give–” “No…I have her number…one second.” Emily disappeared a second later. Sheila left alone then put a hand to her mouth, perplexed and staring at the floor. What was she thinking? Why did she say that? Did her boss’ girlfriend really need help calling her? What kind of question was that? And offering to give her a number? Belittling and insulting was all it was, and only guilt was what she felt for it. Maybe it was those…objectively cute footie pajamas that she was wearing, and how they were interacting last time. How Ms. Summers interacted with Emily last time. After all, she worked that night as a babysi–...a caretaker. More importantly, did Emily live here now? Her boss was almost always well-equipped, but if she was perfect, then Sheila would be out of a job. Hence why some of the work like this could come about. Sheila prided herself in her diligence and dedication to her work which was ensuring smooth-sailing for her boss. That included access to her outside of the office, like the spare key she had stowed away now in her purse. She’d only been to Ms. Summers new apartment once before for a similar situation, but there was no girlfriend then, as far as she could tell. Soon a furry pajama-wearing pipsqueak returned with a phone nursed against her ear. “Did Joyce know you were coming?” “I made sure to let her know earlier today, though I know she had some kind of non-work event that she needed to attend.” Non-work was certainly uncharacteristic of her, which is why Sheila could only guess in certain areas, but an unattended Emily certainly seemed out of place, what with how protective her boss had seemed. Emily didn’t answer back as she listened to the constant pulsing buzz from her phone. Why wasn’t Joyce picking up? Was she busy? It was maybe just the shock of not being Joyce, but stress was all she felt from dealing with an unexpected visitor. And then another unsettling thought had hit her. It was Sheila. The Sheila. The middleman Sheila. The one who handled all Joyce’s private affairs. Satisfied her requests. Got things done. Got things made. Got…diapers… “Not picking up?” Sheila asked, who started to pick up on the reservedness Emily was starting to show. Come to think of it, she did look like she was napping before she came to answer the door. Voicemail. Of all people, Joyce had missed a call? Emily frowned, maybe partly out of selfishness, truly believing her own issue to be important and worthy enough of her attention. But whatever the reason, Joyce wasn’t here now and the situation had come to Emily’s discretion. “She didn’t pick up… She’s not supposed to be back til tomorrow,” Emily said, finding a conveniently sewn front pocket on her footie pajamas to stash her phone. The moment she made use of it, the secretary’s eyes followed the entire time. “...But it’s fine. We’ve met before and…you seem…nice, so…” After a long second, Sheila looked up from her pajama pocket. “I-Is it okay if I take my heels off? I don’t want to leave any marks on the floor.” Emily quietly gestured for her to do so. “Did…you need to go to her office?” “Please. I’ve been here once before though, so I should be able to find the way?” “Oh, then uhm, in that case I’m just gonna go change real quick if you need anything…” Emily was fast disappearing. But fast enough. “Wait,” Sheila called, and something dreadful, maybe a switch inside Emily’s brain meant for someone else had just been unexpectedly flipped. “Are you changing for my sake?” It was an extremely forward question. One that came on impulse. “I’d rather you didn’t just because I’m here?” “It’s…it’s not that…” It totally was. And if looks could kill, surely it was Emily’s bashful face wandering about, and it was a lock of hair twirled around her nervous finger that struck the final blow to Sheila’s petrified heart. Sheila brought a hand to her mouth like she was about to cough. “I…really don’t mind?” She didn’t mind, nor was she looking forward to seeing the sight leave. Why did it matter though? She just didn’t want to be the reason such a sweet thing was ruined. And if Emily folded, it would have been an indirect admission to Sheila hitting the nail right on the head. And she had, but Emily was still debating whether to lie and save some visual face. Regardless, her comfort zone must have been lost in transit, feeling bare and exposed right then. “I…I’ll be in the kitchen if you need anything…” Sheila watched her leave, admittedly (only to herself) doing something she probably shouldn’t have. It was simple curiosity; nothing she would ever act on or respond to. Something she simply wanted to know just because. And she probably had her answer. No crinkle, no puff. What could have been under those pajamas likely wasn’t. Things had changed somewhat since her last visit, but thankfully the walls and floor plan wasn’t one of those. Take a left in the living room, walk down the hall, and at the end should be… But a new nugget of information had stopped her in her tracks. What she remembered about the apartment were two bedrooms, a bathroom, and an office. A living room, a kitchen; the works. All that and one room for storage. Boxes, furniture in hibernation… And as she had made her walk to the office, from the corner of her eye she couldn’t help but see what was most certainly not a storage room. The walls as she remembered were unpainted and white. Not cream. A simple and unused room had no need for drapes, nor a carpet, or a mirror, or a…large crib, or a cushioned table…with… A doorway with a door only half ajar could show only so much, which wasn’t a lot at all. What it did show was a sliver of something much bigger, and such a small taste enticed Sheila’s curiosity like pure dopamine. The intrigue and suspicions she’d worked so hard to choke, punch down and hide away as a result of everything her boss only ever alluded to were rising from the ashes with vitality and force, demanding to be answered like an itch that was begging to be scratched. What she saw was far more than from just a half-glance through a half-open door. What she saw was from standing dead-center inside the nursery, because that’s where she was. There were certainly lines in her work relationships that should not and could not be crossed, and as the secretary’s heart rate picked up from stimulus intake, she was fairly certain that the line was sitting way back at the doorway. Unless her boss had a second secretary taking similar orders, Sheila could not mistake the two baskets filled to the brim with all-too-familiar looking diapers. Ignorance would have asked if they were for her boss, or maybe a third someone she had yet to meet. And yet, there, in the apartment, sitting in the kitchen, footie pajamas, stuffed animal and all, was the primest suspect who could easily have been carrying the same scent of powder Sheila could smell in this room. This nursery. It was certainly weird, but strangely, very strangely, fascinating. She’d never even seen something like this, much less conceived it. A nursery for a giant baby? An…adult baby? A few seconds later Sheila was by the changing table, pressing her hand curiously on the cushioning. It felt sturdy, well-designed. Another custom piece? BabyMaker. Another synapse fired and another connection had been made. For the first time she finally turned around and jumped in shock, just stifling a full-blown yelp! She’d been spotted. She was seen! But…she wasn’t… but she was. A large, stuffed bear sat in the corner of the room. A large, large bear. Big enough for a smaller-sized person to be enveloped by completely. Then she spotted the closet. And already waist-deep in what was surely a violation of privacy, Sheila’s sensational self took hold and tip-toed forward, quietly turning the handle and peering inside. It was certainly a half-empty kind of closet, but what caught her by surprise the most was an entire other machination waiting for her. A…giant chair? A chair with a table? Once it clicked her eyes grew wider. It was a highchair, but of course for an adult, and yet that seemed to mitigate the shock no less. She quietly closed the door, turning back around to take in the bizarre room all over again. Her eyes fixated on the crib. A bed where someone could sleep. An adult could fit in it. An…Emily, even. The footie pajamas. Cute. Colorful. Just like everything else in this room. The numbers were crunching faster than she could process coherent thoughts and the conclusions were already writing themselves…! This wasn’t just a stranger’s room. This was Emily’s room. She…lived like this? As a…for lack of a better word, a baby? Sheila tried to find the logic to refute, yet she had anything but. It was obvious to say that she’d walked in on something she was absolutely not meant to see, and yet the guilt hardly matched the immense intrigue and satisfaction for having her old wounds of not knowing freshly opened and satisfied beyond belief. And so, somehow finding her way back to reality, Sheila stepped out of the nursery, setting the door back to how it was as best she could. As much as she wanted to observe Narnia for a little bit longer, Sheila tried to remember her reason for coming here in the first place, walking off to the in-home office. “Sheila?” The woman adorning her glasses nearly slipped and fell on her backside, the surprise caught her so badly. Quietly cursing herself for stockings being the work attire of the night, Sheila put on her best smile as she turned around. Still in her footies…! “Y-yes?” “Uhm…I just remembered…” Emily couldn’t have sounded more bashful if she tried. Stretching her hands along her front, she half mumbled, “It’s…well, Joyce got some software stuff on her computer, so I don’t know if you’ll be able to use it…” How was she supposed to explain to her girlfriend’s secretary that her workstation had a parental blocker on it because someone was too irresponsible? “Software?” Sheila asked, but the conundrum solved itself in the span of speaking the very word. “Ah! She has parental controls on them, doesn’t she?” Sheila kept half-glancing Emily’s way, but she slowly gravitated towards the office. She knew?! “Is that what it is?” Emily awkwardly laughed. “I wouldn’t know– I only heard her talk about it…one time…” It wasn’t even intentional. Sheila was a problem-solver by nature. Even as a bystander she couldn’t help but observe. Think. Make her own conclusions. “Joyce gave me the information just in case something like this happened. I should be all set.” “Oh, uhm, okay…” Another thing that Joyce knew that Sheila knew, but Emily didn’t. With Sheila’s back turned to the girl, Emily couldn’t help but frown. Trust Joyce. Trust Sheila… Being that Emily was no tech whiz by any means, hearing someone type at what sounded like a professional level was certainly intimidating. By the time Emily could finish a sentence, Sheila was likely forwarding three different drafted emails. The only digits she had that knew how to type were the short, opposable ones that could only text. “Does Joyce keep a lot of stuff from work on her computer?” “Yes, but she usually sends me everything. She must have been in a rush so she didn’t get the chance.” Even mommies forget stuff, apparently… Had Emily not already forgotten, she’d be thinking that same thought twice over now instead of one. It reached a point when Sheila was sitting in the computer chair, typing away, signing onto the company VPN, opening files, preparing an email– Oops! This executable requires parental permissions to be used at this time. Please enter the password below: Not surprising. Sheila got Joyce the license, after all. Like many things, this password was just a drop in the bucket of how many things Sheila could and did retain on a daily basis. And just as she was about to type, a pair of padded feet evening themselves out on the hardwood floor reminded her of who was watching. Emily obviously noticed she stopped too. For what reason? And maybe it was not the best action, and maybe it wasn’t the best impulse. She could have stayed quiet and simply put in the password; it likely would have been too fast for her to see, anyway. And yet, already being such a slave to her instincs tonight, Sheila couldn’t help herself and asked: “Did Joyce say if you could see the password?” The tiny zipper on Emily’s footie pajamas jingled. It was demeaning. It was rude. Amounting the woman to just a child that needed rules. Supervision. It was bad. Sheila knew it. But a tickled side of herself was begging for the question to be asked. Begging to confirm what had to be absolutely true. Stroke her ego. Stroke her bias. To Sheila’s credit she wasn’t smiling. It sounded like a genuine question because it was one. Emily was no longer there. Instead, the stiffest board of wood you could find in the northern hemisphere had suddenly erected itself in a pair of pajamas. Needless to say, Sheila’s question cut deep. Of course she was going to say she could know! She’d mention that it was for Joyce’s nephew who totally visited all the time, and actually drew a really cute picture for them on the fridge! She was absolutely going to lie just to save her own skin. She was… Surely… Maybe it was the eyes. Maybe it was because she was sitting in Joyce’s chair, so she had the same demeanor? Right? Was it the footie pajamas making her feel like this? “Emily?” Her patient reminder hit Emily like a hammer. Shit! She asked again! Had she been quiet for that long? A second? Multiple seconds?! Emily’s toes tried to burrow themselves, but the shiny wooden floor and her closed-feet clothing was having none of it. But why? Why?! Why couldn’t she just lie? Ashes wasn’t here, so what the hell had her tongue?! And in her most pathetic play yet, Emily stuttered out an awkward laugh. “A-ahm…! I actually…I’m gonna get some water? Do– do you want any?” “No thank you,” Sheila smiled. No, she did something else. Yes, she smiled, but there was something else in that smile. Emily may not have noticed, but Sheila sure did. A smirk? Did I just smirk at her? Too embarrassed to own up to the child lock, Emily was gone. After a few good seconds of no return, Sheila quietly huffed, hanging her head back for just a second, then put in the password. iluvPeaches27 Passwords were supposed to be random. Yet as of late, nothing felt random anymore. Emily was hunkered down in the kitchen again, staring down at the transparent substance in her glass. She didn’t even want water; she just wanted to live her lie so well that it didn’t feel like one. Uncomfortable memories of second grade were bubbling up for some reason. She loved her former teacher, Ms. Lox, but some days in second grade were downright terrifying when work didn’t get done. The days she didn’t do her homework were like public executions the next morning. When the teacher came around to collect everyone’s assignment and was nearing poor elementary-level Emily. And when she was just with Sheila a moment ago, it wasn’t Sheila that was sitting. It was Emily still in her grade school desk with her expectant, discerning teacher right beside her. The embarrassment was burned into her memory to this very day. The fake excuses she would give. “I’m still looking for it!” she would say, falsifying the search for a finished document that didn’t exist. And Ms. Lox would know it, too. She’d keep walking while Emily drowned in shame, slowing down the movement of her hands, the rummaging of her folders and notebooks as soon as Ms. Lox was speaking to another student. She was forever known as the girl who couldn’t admit the truth. Well, at least for the rest of the class for just that afternoon... Second grader’s memories were quite fickle, thankfully. But the point still stood. She’d just been Ms. Lox’ed by Sheila. She just Ms. Lox’ed herself! Her heart still dwelling on memories stumbled with a horrible jolt as soon as she heard a pair of teacher’s heels. Shit! Her homework wasn’t done yet! But she sighed in quiet relief when she remembered that it wasn’t second grade anymore. Peering around the corner, she saw Sheila sitting on the edge of the floor, slipping on her heels. “Did…did you get everything?” “Hm?” Sheila turned her head, stunned all over again by the sight. It was her niece about to be sent off for bed. Was she about to be asked for a goodbye hug, next? Finally remembering to speak and smile, “...Yes, mhm! Everything I needed.” Yes, everything and so much more. With a quiet nod, not knowing any other way than to just stick around as a means of sending her off, Emily patiently waited for Sheila to leave. “Do I need to go turn off the computer, or anything?” Emily’s eyes wandered over to the living room where the route to the office was. “...No,” Sheila shook her head, dragging her mind back from somewhere else. “I…um, I took care of it.” She slowly draped her hand over the handle. “Okay. Well, er, have a good night?” With a hand behind her back, Emily offered a small wave. No. Absolutely not. Never. Impossible. It simply could not happen. It couldn’t end like this. “E…Emily?” Sheila retracted her hand and turned away from the door. “Have…have you had your dinner yet?”

Hey, this is my official toss into the contest hat. Story's right here If there's any additional information I need to provide to make it eligible, sorry and please let me know what I can do!

Thank you very much! Thanks! Unfortunately, I have no continuations for this planned at the moment! Them's the breaks, I suppose! I get a lot of requests for continuations on shorts, which is flattering in its own right. That being said though, if I don't call it out as a chapter or a part in the title, it can typically be inferred as a one-and-done. Sometimes like in this case I'll give my once-per-story comment that it probably won't be continued unless there are the right circumstances. Truthfully, I have plenty of shorts that I'm writing and already have posted that I'd never want to continue. It's either because I don't want to try adding anything else to what I'm already happy with, or I just don't have any interest. A lot of these scenarios can be just things I want to capture a snapshot of, not build another entire multi-chapter series around. Though, as far as being a usable universe goes, something like that is always in the cards. That's the fun part about trying to create suspense around ABDL stuff in a story that you might be able to imagine will somehow include diapers at some point. I find it difficult to create situations for that sometimes. I want to deliver a punch fast and quick, but also with some description and detail to get it there. For example, alluding to the shock, then taking multiple paragraphs or lines to actually "reveal" it when its already clear before then just what's going to happen. Thanks for reading and commenting!

As a disclaimer, this is a CONTEST ENTRY for Kasarberang's Contest. Though, call me a cheater, but I’m double dipping with this as an entry for two contests, though the other one is just cuz it still works I think. Please enjoy! The world was changing, and yet only half the population cared to pay any heed or mind to it. Half, approximately, assuming there was an even split between men and women. I sat pensively on the train, trying to feel at least a little hypnotized by the slight jostles, rocks or bumps the cars may feel from the old and used railroads sprawling throughout the subway system. But I hardly felt at ease today, and even more sick to my stomach than usual. I’d been dealing with the onset of disaster for so long now that I was probably a matter of days from it no longer being just the signs of what I feared. Any day now could be the arrival. “Hey…? I’m talking to you, you know?” A soft voice nudged. I kept my head looking down at the floor from my seat, but I couldn’t ignore the couple flirting right nearby. Likely another product of the same system that was affecting all of us. The same movement. “I’m…I’m listening,” I could hear her sheepish lover reply. Were they lovers anymore? Likely just the loved and once loved by this point. “I was asking you what you wanted for dinner tonight, silly. Were you distracted? Or…oh! Did you…?” “No!” He raised his voice that’d certainly warrant stares, but I sure didn’t. It was my best guess that no one did either. I needed none of the context nor the visual to know that it was all some unfortunate byproduct of a malignant force affecting all of us; all-consuming. “It’s…it’s nothing… I don’t care what we eat.” “Don’t be like that…!” she whined back in a tender voice. She spoke like it was only them inside this packed train car. “I can make your favorite?” It’s not that I wanted to hear their conversation, but everyday made it harder to tune out conversations like these if it meant having to go deaf entirely. Maybe it was morbid curiosity, wondering what the future might look like for myself. The goosebumps were infecting my skin and I could feel them creep from underneath my suit jacket and button-up shirt. I wouldn’t get to hear the end of their chat though, once the train came to a groaning, screechy halt and a synthetic female voice announced over the intercom that it was my stop. “Mikey? Come on, this is us,” a woman announced to her boyfriend. Spouse, maybe? It hardly seemed to make a difference, nor was there any seeming distinction in treatment anymore. All that remained was lingering attachment for what once was and will no longer be. I watched multiple couples with all the same kind of lead take themselves off the train with me following in tow. My heart was beating a mile a minute, hardly able to keep my eyes straight. It was all superstition that was eating away at me, but unfortunately the well-placed kind. Something inevitable that I had no power over. Something that– “Oh!” A woman gasped in front of me. In my internalized moment of panic, I wasn’t watching where I was going and walked straight into the back of someone. I went back on my butt, but she didn’t. As she turned around a sick feeling welled up in my stomach. Shit! The one thing I had to do; go unnoticed and not make waves. In trying so hard to disconnect myself from reality I’d become blind enough to collide right with it. “Honey, are you alright?” She didn’t reach out her hand, and I knew her as only the stranger of many that apparently used the subway. Yet I assure you that in spite of all the madness this world was seeing, disregarding social etiquette was not normal. Or maybe it was now, and the new normal was just to embrace the madness. She didn’t reach out her hand, but she reached out both hands. Her arms, too. She was partly bending over, taking advantage of the little meek me who was still five steps behind trying to think of a response that wouldn’t land me in hot water. By the time I was ready to say something, this woman was assertively lifting me by the armpits and back on my feet. Her brow was furrowed as she fussed all over me, going as far as to dust off my backside. One might call it sexual harrassment, but that was of a different time. Maybe a few years ago it would have held some weight, but now everything’d become as light as a feather. “Sweetheart?” she asked me again, and I blinked in worry, realizing that I was too engrossed in a conversation with myself that I hadn’t verbalized since my mandatory goodbye to my boss at the office. “Y-Yes,” I replied quietly, underneath the bustling crowds and cacophony of train noises, scheduling departures, and other couples. “I’m…fine…” I wasn’t fine. Far from it. Physically? Maybe. The springtime of my youth, as I liked to think. Assuming that’s what early 20s could be called. Mentally, though? Life was certainly taking its fun in fileting away at that. I looked up at her, nearly wincing when I saw her tilt her head with a curious smile. I wanted to blush, feel bubbly over what felt like genuine affection; flirt back, even. But I didn’t because I didn’t believe that any of it was what I wanted it to be. Well, that and because I was a faithful man. And then the line of questioning began. “Are you here by yourself? Actually–” she peered over her shoulder, seeing much better above the crowd than I could. “It’s a bit stuffy here, isn’t it?” She chuckled while she slipped a loose hair behind her ear. “Why don’t we go somewhere a bit more quiet?” I looked out at her extended hand. “I…I should go…” I did my best to diffuse myself from the situation, but all that did was put a concerned look on the woman’s face. “It’s okay, honey,” she suddenly met me more than halfway, going the full distance to grab my hand by my side. “I just wanna talk.” Her grip was solid. Soft, yet firm. From all the feats I’d seen as an onlooker and all the women I had witnessed lift and move with might, my will to physically resist had been quashed quite early on. Maybe it was wishful thinking, but I wanted to be the one to disarm myself from her. I wanted to have the courage, intellect, and charisma to talk myself out of this. To convince someone part of the hivemind for the first time that I was independent and could be let go. Give back to myself at least a shred of agency. But the moment I could see the crowd thinning out, enough to see a few feet on either side of us, I could see the door, sign, and destination we were headed. So in a panicked, shameful moment, I raised my voice and shouted, wiggling my arm in her hand. I wiggled not to try and break free, but to make my sleeve droop and slip down my arm. “W-wait!” I begged to her back, “L-Look! See?” The woman barely even glanced, like by this point it didn’t really matter what I said, and unfortunately I knew how true that was. But I still played my last card. My only card. The one weapon I had that wasn’t even mine. Someone else’s that had been forced on me. Her half-glance over the shoulder was enough, because I could tell she was having a double-take once she saw my wrist. We stopped and she turned around. “You already have a…?” Whether it was really hers or manufactured, the disappointment in her voice was thick and heavy, like she was just denied from an Ivy League school. I didn’t even try to fight back when she tried to wedge her nail between my bracelet and wrist as a last ditch attempt. I didn’t stop her because I was dreadfully aware of its strength. I was able to tug my hand free, solely because she had lost the will and simply allowed me to. “I…” And yet my embarrassment and shame were at an all-time high, having to rely on what I feared and hated the most. “I should go…” Nothing else needed to be said. She was the enemy, but she wasn’t a foolish one. She knew what it meant, and so did I. “Be safe…” she said in a sad voice, standing where she stood, seeing me off. Hurriedly I tugged back down my sleeve as I scrambled up the steps. I tried to stay inconspicuous for the few more minutes I had to go home. It wasn’t terribly often when moments like that happened, but the frequency was undeniably going up. Once or twice a month at first, but now once or twice a week for sure. The outcome never changed, but it made me sick having to solve it the same way every time. I opted for the road typically less traveled, meaning the strongest likelihood of not seeing anyone by taking the stairs over the elevator. Traveling eight tiers of floors I walked down the hall, feeling the pace of my heart rate coast from the adrenaline of exercise to anxiousness. Was today finally the day? Was it when my final oasis dried up and a new reality set in? Nervously, I slipped my key in the door, turning the lock, stepping inside. “I…I’m home!” I called out to the apartment. And my heart melted the moment I heard her voice. “Hey…!” Kailey called back, and I instantly felt at ease. The same voice and tone she always had the past two years we had been together. The same loving, feisty voice she had in public and in bed. My sweet, beautiful, sexy girlfriend whom I never wished to part with. After kicking off my shoes, I followed the light and poked my head into the kitchen, spotting her. I caught her mid-slurp of a large wooden spoon, standing by a boiling pot of something. I could smell it already. Pasta with tomato sauce. My absolute favorite. I couldn’t help but smile the moment she gave me hers. “Hey!” she greeted me again and it made my heart overjoyed. Without a word I came in for a hug, wrapping my arms around her waist. “Ah-ah! Wait! Wait!” Kailey begged me with a giggle, disarming me with ease as she gently put some distance between us. “Look at me!” She swept her hands down at herself, showing off the stained apron. “Geez,” she frowned disapprovingly, “look at you!” My once-white shirt now had a stain of red on it. But I hardly cared. Not after what I just went through at the subway. I needed something to feel right again, and that’s exactly what Kailey was, and now this tomato sauce too. “I can wash it later,” I said dismissively, coming in for a kiss, and she did respond lovingly. And as I was recharging, the look on Kailey’s face changed. It was concern, and that made me uneasy. The one thing Kailey could do to make me upset was indicate that she was privy to the outside world. She wasn’t a stay-at-home girlfriend that only dealt with me. She worked and was a contributing member of society. A part of that society. “It happened again, didn’t it?” My shoulders drooped just the slightest bit. I always hated wearing my emotions on my sleeve. Once upon a time it was fun being an open book to your lover, but not anymore. Not in this kind of world. “It’s nothing; I’m just glad to see you?” But she knew. She always knew. “Did you show her your bracelet? Like we practiced?” Kailey asked with a hand on her hip. I tried not to frown. I hated when she was like this. She was the one thing that was the antithesis to the world outside these four walls. My one reason for thinking that things could still be normal for me. For us. In ways we’ve already had to adapt, but for the most part we were still just us. Boyfriend and girlfriend. “Y-yes,” I mumbled, trying to get past this. “It’s done and over with now, okay? How was your day at work, was it good?” Maybe my emotions were a bit easy to read, but I could at least tell some of the looks on my girlfriend as well. It was her signature, ‘I still want to keep talking about this’ face. But we didn’t. “It was good…” she started slowly before turning back to stir the pot. Good, we were successfully changing the subject. “Actually, I got out even earlier than usual today, so I got to do some errands. Oh! And remember my coworker? Martha? I was chatting with her today and she mentioned the park a few blocks over? She said there’s gonna be some kind of show and I thought we might be interested?” “Yeah? Music?” Rock was always a nice reprieve. “Should be some fun tunes,” she nodded. “I was thinking that I could make us some sandwiches and we’d go?” I was a much bigger fan of indoor at-home activities, but Kailey always knew how to give me strength. “Sure,” I smiled. “Sounds good.” “Great! And how was work for you?” Her interest subsided for a second-hand frown. “Those girls better have stopped harassing you…” “It was fine…” I glossed over with a sigh. “And don’t worry about them; it’s fine…” It was easy for me to say that now that Kailey was in the same room as me. My beacon, my pillar. She was overprotective of me and I liked to see that as her way of shielding us from how much society had changed in such little time. How topsy-turvy everything had become. She set the spoon down just to turn and look at me. “I worry about you, you know?” “Thank you, I appreciate it. I worry about you too.” “I know you do,” she smiled with her pearly whites. Then her eyes started to wander away from mine, starting to sound a bit less certain. “I…could always start picking you up, you know…?” “Kailey, n-no. That’s fine. Really… We’ve…we’ve already talked about this.” “I know we’ve talked about it,” she sunk her hands into the front pocket of her apron, “but I really want you to think about it? Oliver, don’t you want strangers to stop walking up to you on the street?” “But that’s why we agreed to this stupid bracelet, didn’t we?” In a small burst of frustration I flashed the emasculating jewelry on my wrist. “So I could still keep things the way that they should be?” Kailey frowned. “Yes, to keep you safe. Oliver, you know those bracelets are only good until the end of the year.” The end of the year. So many months away, and yet the time until then was burning away like we were hurtling towards the sun. Her face softened as she tried me with another plea of reason, “Look, my workplace is already letting me out early? Because they think that I’m already using this time to come and get you?” “Yeah,” I hurriedly tried to deflect and dodge, “but I’m sure you like having the time to come home and relax sooner?” “Not as much as I’d like making sure you get home safe,” she said without any sort of smile. Kailey always cut the jokes when she was serious. “Oliver, please? Would it convince you if I said I just want to see your face more? Because I do?” And like that one of my big buttons had been pressed. A sweeping strike had stripped off my armor completely. “Unless you don’t wanna see me?” she put on a dejected, hurt sort of look. She was acting and it was obvious, but my heart was as gullible as I was afraid of losing what we had. What made it so hard to stay resolute against Kailey was the worry of her retaliating in some way. The worst outcome was breaking up, and I could never let that happen. Not only because of how much I loved her, but because I knew that a relationship like this would never be attainable. Not now. Not in this kind of world. “I…” I caught myself halfway. With a quiet sigh I finally gave in to yet another compromise. “Fine.” And as a small reward, her face lit up like the sun. “Really? Oh…! Thank you so-so much!” Kailey assaulted me with pecks all over on the cheeks, sauce-stained apron included. And at least with Kailey, giving in meant easier post-mortem negotiations. “But! Can…can we not start until next week?” I rubbed my face with a blush. It made me feel silly for thinking this, but still I said, “I…I just want to feel the same for the rest of the week…” Without hesitation Kailey said, “Of course!” That made me smile. Things were normal again. For at least a little longer. “I’ll make sure to call your boss tomorrow to let her know…” Kailey mumbled to herself back by the stove. I chose not to comment. “Uhm…I’m gonna take a shower,” I started to excuse myself. “I’m guessing dinner’ll be ready by then?” “Yes it will be!” Kailey said so chipperly. “By the way, I was doing some laundry and your underwear is still in the dryer, so could you just wear the ones you have on now?” “Sure thing!” I called halfway down the hall. The best part about someone you love and spend so much time with is getting to pick up on their mannerisms and habits. Kailey, of course, was no different. “And then?” she excitedly pointed with her fork, either moving with her hands or the things in them, “Then she wanted me to re-run the samples just because Stacy wasn’t wearing gloves in the next room over! Can you believe that?” “Wow,” I mumbled through a mouthful of food. “That does sound kinda excessive…” “Right?” She shrugged. “Like, don’t get me wrong, I think these accelerated trainings we’ve been getting are great. It lets us do some really interesting work and think a lot more critically. It’s just that it’s also starting to make everyone super specific about how work gets done. It’s so ridiculous how quantum causations are really just causing our work to be more anal…” I nodded like I understood, but in reality I couldn’t even get my foot in the door when it came to imagining the kind of work Kailey did. It wasn’t always like this. Originally, she was a lab technician handling maintenance on tools. I knew that much. But after enough “accelerated trainings” and suddenly she was being promoted and moved up the ladder to more and more demanding things. Hell, Kailey didn’t even have a masters and she was doing such high-level work. Work that I barely understood anymore. But nevertheless, I tried to stay engaged. “And you…uhm…what about that thing you were talking about the other day? The…Complex…Combine–?” “Oh, the Conflux Collider Theory?” Kailey seemed to know immediately what I meant, quite casually picking up the pieces on my lack of comprehensiveness. She never discussed the details with me because the last time she did I was left feeling confused and incompetent, unfortunately. She nodded the thought into her brain. “It’s good, actually. We’re already starting to design some stuff to test out some theories?” “That’s cool.” And my commentary on her work was about as rich and substantive as there was culinary grace and technique to a microwaved grilled cheese. “How about you?” Kailey smiled. She always knew how to make my stuff sound interesting, even when both of us knew that it wasn’t. “I know you said nothing special, buuut…?” “Uhm…” I scratched my head. I never liked being before or after Kailey’s work stories. There was no other way of describing it than as inferiority. I could hardly set the bar, nor could I follow up. My work wasn’t just different from Kailey’s, it was less than. Not so long ago we dealt with similar levels of difficulty. Kailey managed lab equipment and I was designing and maintaining financial infrastructure. But now? All my work lived inside a spreadsheet software. I barely even had side-to-side banter with coworkers. Almost everyone I interacted with nowadays was just superiors. There wasn’t room for joking and chit-chat with the people too busy dissecting my menial work for mistakes. Helen was responsible for all my previous projects now. As HR described it, I was “needed elsewhere.” My unofficial demotion was explained as an “allocation of resources.” My favorite part though, was being told, “think of it as stepping to the side.” Sure, of course it wasn’t stepping down. “I…so, okay,” I did think of one thing, immediately starting to try and flare it up. My work was more mind-numbing than anything else. Engaging would have been a vast oversell. Life as it was now, even if I left this job I knew work would be next to impossible to find, much less something that suited my degree at this point. For those of us who still had a job, we were just hanging onto a title that was being consistently made more and more meaningless. “Georgina?” My boss. “So, she wanted this one file delivered to the system? But it turns out she wanted that and something else. She said that ‘If I always ask for X, you should know by now that I want Y too.’” I scoffed aloud. “Jesus, she’s frustrating! She just assumes that I’m supposed to know what she wants? One of these days I’m just gonna…” And yet, the audience wasn’t laughing, nor was I given any applause. I don’t know what it was, but my mouth ran dry. Maybe it was just coming face to face with reality. One of these days wasn’t going to happen… I wasn’t going to do anything. “So…yeah.” It ended much more awkwardly. And yet, Kailey could always get a read and keep the momentum. “Ugh,” she scoffed for me, “is she still giving you a hard time? You know, I really thought things were gonna be better once they issued that whole restructuring for the country,” she frowned. “All I hear now from coworkers about how their husbands and boyfriends are just being picked on by their new bosses…!” “W-well,” I didn’t intend for that to be the subject, and I didn’t feel that I was being picked on, nor did I need the concern… But once Kailey got the microphone, she always seemed to run away with it. “Do you want me to talk about that when I call her?” Kailey stoked her flame, “I don’t want her picking on you anymore.” “K-Kailey, she’s…she’s not picking on me.” What had this become? It was elementary school all over again. From day one I was weirded out when HR contacted Kailey behind my back just to form communications. Like she was my guardian. I can say with certainty that her workplace made no attempt to give me a direct line to her boss. From speaking with other guys in the office and hearing secondhand accounts, we weren’t the only ones either. We weren’t the only company. “But maybe it wouldn’t hurt just to ask? So we can make sure that she’s being patient with you?” “Kailey, please, I don’t need anyone being ‘patient’ with me.” Of all people, hearing Kailey say that made me upset. I was her equal, and she didn’t need support, so why did I? I watched her purse her lips before finally saying, “Okay…I’m sorry. I just worry, you know?” “There’s no need to,” I smiled confidently. “I’m an adult,” I tried to make a joke, and it did make Kailey smile. “All done?” Kailey suddenly asked and I looked down at my plate. Mostly empty. It was delicious, after all. “Uh…yeah,” I said as she was already lifting it from the table. “Stay right there. I have another surprise~!” A surprise? Surprises were always great with Kailey. From memory’s past, surprises could mean a new game, new bottle of alcohol, a nice plant, photo, maybe, or a new piece of lingerie for her to get frisky in. Surprises with Kailey were fun. They always were. Always. They were exciting, which is why I didn’t understand the knot in my stomach. I felt…uneasy. What was she about to spring on me? Maybe it was the awkward start we had once I got home. Maybe it was in all the ways she’d been brushing up against…reality during dinner. It almost made me want to throw up for some reason. And in gaslighting myself I was suddenly sitting with a cold sweat, waiting for her to return. What was she about to do? “Close your eyes?” She called from the kitchen, still out of view. Close my eyes? For what? Since when? Surprises never started like this. They just happened…! Before I knew it I was already clenching my fists, pressing them into my legs. Slowly I closed them, against my nervous and crumbling will. “K-kay!” I called from my chair. I could hear her walk back in and around the table. She set something on it. Plastic, maybe? Could it…was it…? I was bracing myself to bolt from the chair. No. Not her. Not Kailey…please! Anyone but her…! “Ready to open them?” No. Never. Not if it meant keeping what we had. Keeping things still the same. Like they’d always been. Like they always would be. “S…sure?” “Okay…! On ‘now’,” she started, then slowly recited. “3…” “2…” “1…” “Now!” Maybe it was me wanting to deny reality, but I’m pretty sure I waited another second longer. Slowly, I drew back my lids, readjusting to the light as I looked at what was in front of me. Plastic…Fuck…Fuck! But not the bad kind. I remembered to breathe once I noticed that it was a thin plastic container. Inside it were three hearty long rows of large, delicious-looking cookies. Not crude and crinkly…whatever. “Ta-da!” my girlfriend excitedly clapped her hands. “You know what they are, right?!” “Co…cookies?” I asked almost half-skeptically. I was still trying to recover from the shock of fully expecting my life to end right then and there on the spot. “Yes, just boring old cookies,” Kailey rolled her eyes at me, grinning all the way. “No! Cookies from Jasmine’s?” She placed extra emphasis on the name. Jasmine’s. My favorite bakery. My favorite place for sweets, sugars, and confectionaries of any kind imaginable. How could I not love the place? After all, it was the first place Kailey and I went since we started dating. A fun silver lining to a place that I already liked. With my favorite kinds of cookies, no less. Chocolate Chip. Marshmallow, and M&M’s. “W-” I finally had shaken enough nervousness from my system to laugh. “Wow…! You, you didn’t have to, you know?” “I know that much,” Kailey laughed, “I did it because I wanted to! Now, I don’t suppose you’d be willing to share?” “Share my cookies?” I cockily challenged her, to which she raised her brows. We both burst into giggles while I tore open the packaging. Soft, chewy, and delicious. All the right things with the perfect mouthful. “God,” I mumbled in cookie-speak. We had since moved over to the couch. “I dunno how they do it…” “Right?” Kailey was wiping her mouth. “These really are good. If I remember though you’re the one who took us there for the first time? Guess I gotta give you credit,” she rubbed shoulders with me. “...Kailey…?” “Yeah?” “I…I’m really glad you’re my girlfriend, you know?” “O…” Kailey looked at me for a moment with her mouth agape. I could see her eyes starting to glisten with a forming smile. “Oliver…I’m really glad we’re together too.” And cookie crumbs be damned, we shared in an intimate kiss. We didn’t talk much for the next few minutes. Too much cookie eating and plenty enough love to communicate what we didn’t have to say. “Sooo…?” Kailey’s voice sang into my ear, arm draped over my shoulder. Since the not-so-distant Jasmine Cookie massacre of 20XX, Kailey and I had been right next to each other on the couch. Her arm was around my waist; the normal position she started doing a few weeks back. Maybe it helps her feel secure? Don’t care and don’t think much about it, solely because it made me feel comfy too. “So?” I turned my head back at her. She was smiling from ear to ear, so obviously it was something. Something I obviously wasn’t getting at. “SooOOOooo,” she repeated with a thicker dose of implication and all I could do was laugh. It was comfy time, not twenty questions, which is why I gave up quickly. “What? So what? Tell me!” And yet all Kailey did was giggle, nuzzling her cheek against mine. “I love you, you know?” “I love you too…” Duh. I’d hope that there was love after everything we had gone through together. Kailey’s hand left my shoulder, creeping down my arm and following to my wrist, the one with the unfortunate shackle on it, but skipped right over and to my hand. Our fingers interlocked and felt her fingers against mine. “Did you enjoy dinner?” She asked in a soothing, yet cheery voice. Damn, her angelic voice could always put me to sleep. Her vocal cords were wrongfully unregistered weapons that I’d occasionally fall victim to. Staring off into space, feeling warm and loved, I muttered back, “Of course I did, you made my favorite, after all…” “Good.” I felt her squeeze my hand again. Not too strong, but not weak either. “And the cookies?” Kailey did say, but was already chuckling. I could already imagine her eyes peering over at the half-empty container sitting on the coffee table. In my defense, I was only responsible for two-thirds of the murders. “Yes…” I rubbed my head against the crook of her shoulder. Intimacy like this really was dangerous for the senses. I’d be asleep before I even knew it. My sight may have been fading, but I still could feel the touch, hear the sounds, taste the last few crumbs on the corner of my mouth. And so eloquently with just the right lack of class, Kailey chuckled, “Double good.” It was one of her patently “dumb-time” moments, and that couldn’t make me feel any fuzzier than it already did. It was my way of knowing Kailey could let her guard down. Around me. How I knew she didn’t do this with anyone else was really a baseless assumption, but with how smart she was and how dignified, I simply couldn’t imagine it any other way. Two years. Two amazing years of just this. A long and loving relationship with so much intimacy, trust and vulnerability. In the few times that I felt scared Kailey could always drown that out ten times over. It was perfect. Magical. But I was on cloud nine, and nothing could make this moment any better. Nothing more than just one thing. Something I was feeling so daring and so happily selfish to ask. A question we’d entertained and humored with nudges and kicks down the timeline; never answered nearly in full or even halfness. Never until now…? It was all tonight Kailey’s gift to me, but the passion and desire was growing, and I desperately wanted to give back with a gift just as great. “...Oliver, I–” My adrenaline accidentally let me cut in. “--Kailey?” If I didn’t ask now, I’d probably lose the courage to for another whole month. But not this time, even if it meant stealing the lead. “...Y-yeah?” “...I want to ask you something,” I stated so confidently, yet despite being the small spoon with my hand cradled and coddled by hers. My eyes were aimed at the muted TV, but my focus was in another place entirely. “Something serious.” “Of…of course?” Kailey listened, and I shuffled in turn with her own body trying to get comfortable. “What’s up?” “We’ve…we’ve been together for two years now… Two…amazing, awesome years together. A part of my life I’d never want to give to anyone else but you, Kailey. You’ve made me the happiest person in the world.” “O-Oliver…!” Kailey whispered in a hush, squeezing me by the waist. I couldn’t see her face, but I had no need to. “So that’s why I don’t want to lose you to anyone else…I want us to be together for the rest of our lives.” And instead of another affectionate squeeze or lovey-dovey comment, all I got was a light slap on the shoulder, surprisingly. “Hey, don’t take my opening line!” A few seconds of laughing later and I kept going. “You’re the smartest, hardest working, and most beautiful person that I’ve ever seen… Since day one I knew you were the one for me. You talk, you listen, you care, and you love. As jealous as I am of who you are as a person…having you all to myself makes me just as happy.” The words were making me blush and my heart flutter, but it was all true and I was so desperate to say it all, especially with the way her fingers were starting to weave through mine. I kept going. “S…so…Kailey…I was wondering, if uhm…would you–” “--Wait!” Kailey, the love of my life, interrupted at the worst possible time. “S-sorry…” she muttered in a flustered voice. My Kailey? Flustered? So rarely did she ever sound like this, and it made my heart do somersaults in pure euphoria. It was instinctual. My second wind to try again after hearing her out, simply because of how much I knew this was going to work out. It was certain now. “I…I think I know what you’re trying to say…” she giggled, like we were sitting face to face in Jasmine’s for the first time all over again, splitting a big round cookie with two cups of coffee. “But…everything tonight…the dinner, the dessert…I…I was trying to do it too…” My heart nearly stopped. Her thumb danced in my palm and I tried not to fidget; to not explode from stimulus overload. Far too much love intake, not enough exhaust. She was going to ask. To confess. I had the worst timing…! I interrupted her! I laughed aloud. “I-I guess we know each other too well, huh?” “Yeah,” she laughed right back, “guess we do…! So…how about this? Together? Let’s ask each other together?” A thought we both had, but a question we would pop together. I knew exactly how it would sound; our words and voices matched in perfect harmony. Screw the sound of my own voice, though. Just to hear it from Kailey would be enough to let me die an early death. I could already cry from the insinuation and my imagination alone. We briefly separated just to sit on either end of the couch, facing each other. Our hands laid in our laps, nervous as all hell just from trying to re-summon the courage we kept accidentally taking from the other. “T-together?” I asked, or tried to confirm? Like maybe the rules had inexplicably changed or one of us forgot. “To…together…” Kailey nodded, smiling so widely and so excitedly, and before I knew it she was a perfect mirror for my emotions. “On three?” “On three…!” “One…” “Two…” “Three!” And then it happened. The words I’d been waiting my whole life to ask. “Will you marry me?” The moment was paralyzing, and just to find the courage to say them and offer myself for such a wonderful lifelong commitment tuned out my surroundings entirely. The world we lived in wasn’t a factor and neither was the society we were trying to find our safe haven in. She hadn’t even said yes yet; I hadn’t even said yes yet, but here I was, already starting to tear up. Pure happiness in its rawest form possible. Nothing but joy and excitement for who I had and always will. “Oliver…!” The sound of her voice. Sweet. Serenity. Now I wish I did talk to her about this beforehand, at least about giving her a ring… It felt like a crime at this point. How could I not give something as thanks to the most beautiful person in the world? My treasure? “Oliver?” I blinked and found my feet in reality again, coming back into place with my emotions and senses again. I laughed aloud. I really was dumbstruck with love. “S-sorry…” I wiped my teary eye apologetically, “It’s just…a lot, you know? But I promise you, Kailey. I mean it. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” Kailey, the love of my life, softly smiled, sliding over on the couch. She put her hand on my leg. “I do too, Oliver…” And there it was. Yes. She said it. Accepted. Agreed. No baking out now. Not ever. Never. I played the game and won. I found my hope before this entire set could crash and burn entirely. Kailey day by day felt more like salvation itself, but she in her own right as an individual was irreplaceable, and to know that she’s the one who chose me…! Her gentle rub on my thigh got me out of my own head again. Crap, hopefully she didn’t back out if I started getting distracted the next few days…or next whole month? This was going to be an amazing novelty that frankly I wouldn’t mind ever wearing off. “Oliver?” she asked me, and I smiled dumbly. That put a weird smile on her face too. Oh! This is too good! “You didn’t answer my question?” “Wh-what?” I chuckled, then I remembered her disappointed attitude a couple minutes ago. I’d gone and stole the show; skipped to the ending by popping the question before even she could. Sure I felt guilty, but I felt loved, and that mattered more. But never one to be selfish, and one more than willing to please, I straightened my back and proudly said, “Yes, Kailey, of course I’ll marry you!” Two proposals in one night? What a story this’ll be to tell! Residual giggles dissipated from me and I settled down, but it was only just me making the noises. Frankly I was wondering why Kailey was being so tardy to the emotion party. But Kailey was showing emotion, just a much more quiet one. A sideways look with her brows sliding up towards the center. “That’s…uhm…” My fiance momentarily avoided my eyes, adjusting her loose hair, “that…” And maybe for just a moment, my fantasy cracked. “That isn’t what I asked…” I blinked, still with my confident and eternal smile. My dearest love laughed apologetically. Awkwardly? The room felt a little tighter when I squinted my eyes, but I shrugged it off. “O-okay? Well, what’d you ask?” Kailey was my rock and I did believe in her, but I didn’t want to be the one to say that whatever small misunderstanding there was, it didn’t really matter that much…! She gave me a brief discerning look, and just maybe, just somehow, maybe it was me. Maybe I was missing something? But her lips came back together and her smile was back, so mine was too. I was happy again because she was as well. Then her mouth opened and her lips moved. Silence. Total silence. “W-wait,” my shoulders bounced with my laugh as I reached for the remote. “S-sorry, too loud,” I excused my suddenly bad hearing as I killed the TV. “One…one more time?” “Sure…” she agreed and her teeth were starting to show again. Every time I asked it was like pressing a euphoria switch for her. It had to have been the same way I felt about proposing just then. And then it started all over again. “Oliver, will you…” but she grew quiet. So quiet to the point that either I’d gone deaf or she was mute. And I knew it wasn’t my fault, I think, once I heard a distant car driving outside the apartment. “Wait–” I waved up my hands, motioning to the window as I walked to it, “noisy outside. Just a sec?” “Are you just pulling my leg?” Kailey was starting to smirk now; playfully impatient. “No! I’m serious!” I doubled down with the smooth slam and shut of the street-side window. “Okay, I promise this time; I can hear!” Probably? I took my seat back on the couch. “Ready this time. Swear it.” Just to prove it, I took a nice deep breath, even. Part of me even wanted to ask if she could speak up a little, but I feel like I’d beaten that sound business to death enough… “Oliver…” Kailey started, but she paused, edging her head forward. Reading her mind, I pleaded, “Still listening!” She laughed. “Okay, just checking. Oliver, will you, the most loving, wonderful person I’ve ever had the privilege of meeting in my life, be…” But drat, now my foot was tapping and my knees were bouncing all on their own. Just the tiniest squeak from the ball of my foot on the wood could somehow be such a noisy disturbance! Both our eyes fell down to my legs, and I looked at her apologetically, yet again. “Sorry, my–uhm…” I held down on my knees firmly this time. “Promise! Last interruption! I can hear for real now, so–!” “--Oliver!” Kailey came right over and latched her hands on my arms. The distance between us was just a single head’s width. “Will you be my little boy?” My mouth opened, but I wasn’t making any noise. My jaw hung agape, and my lips tried to move now, but somehow I’d become silent to my own noise. The tremors started again as soon as my hand left my knee, trying to raise a confused protest for something I totally did not just hear. Not from Kailey. Not from my new fiance. I tried to move my eyes, looking away and dropping my head, but every which way I looked there Kailey was, finding me right at the receiving end. “Oliver…?” she squeezed my arm, smiling and curious. “Hey, enough games, already! You’re not gonna tell me you didn’t hear that too, right?” Because I doubt she’d let me get away with that. Get away with trying to say I’d somehow magically forgotten this entire fucking evening. Just to protect what I desperately wanted back now. What maybe was still salvageable. “I-I…” I blinked and tried to look for something to stand my conscience on, but I was slipping and falling farther and faster the longer she held onto me. “W…What? Wh-what did you ask?” “Ugh,” Kailey’s eyes did circles with an exaggerated scoff. “This isn’t a very fun game, you know. If you’re just trying to get me more comfortable saying it, well you got the job done!” “B…but…I…” And would my unfortunate luck have it, I caught a glimpse of my naked, shackled wrist. It wasn’t any kind of ring, but it was a proposal. An offer I should have refused. A chilling realization far too late. “Ka...Kailey…wh-why?” I watched her hand fall around mine. “Baby? What’s wrong? Did…did I say something wrong?” The room was finally spinning; catching up with the rest of the world already trapped in full-swing. The tremors and shakes, the waves and wobbles had finally caught up. There were cracks in the ceiling and the walls, the floors and the cushions beneath us. It was all seeping in. “Why…” I asked as my voice came to me, “Why would you even…ask something like that?” “Wh…” she stuttered and squeezed my hand, “W-well, we love each other, don’t we?” It was finally a sense of reason that I could speak to. “Yes! I-I love you more than anything, Kailey!” “Oliver,” she drew me into a hug, “I love you more than anything too? So why are you being so weird right now?” “Weird?” I slipped further down the couch and I was graciously let go. “I’m the weird one? When…when you’re the one who just asked me that? Kailey, I just asked you to marry me!” She slowly and barely nodded, adjusting a hair behind her ear as she said, “I…” I watched her trace her thigh with her palm, slowly sliding up and down. “I know…” And as my girlfriend sorted through her awkwardness, I tried not to cry from recalling what was supposed to be a core memory of the moment we became hooked on eternal matrimony. I heard it. Both our voices when we asked and popped the same exact question…! Will you marry me? Will you marry me? Will you marry me? Will you– Be my little boy? A sick knot twisted in my stomach and I knew it wasn’t the cookies or the pasta. I heard her voice. I was hearing it the whole time. I heard everything. Everything. But it didn’t make sense…! Not one fucking bit! We loved each other, and she just said how much she loved me! So why? Why the fuck was this happening?! “B-but…you said…you said you loved me too?” My voice cracked with the words and the confusion in them couldn’t have been more obvious. “Oliver, I do love you! So much! More than anything!” “S-so…why? Why won’t you…?” “...Oliver…” Kailey finally looked saddened and pained, thankfully in a place that was recognizable to me. The Kailey that I knew. A Kailey that could be hurt, and not the one that could ask something so outlandish and…indoctrinated. “M…marriage…I… Just…don’t you think that isn’t a good fit for us?” The feeling left my face, and all I could do was stare. “I mean I just…” she started her rant, then stopped when she saw me. “O-oh, no, Oliver– please, I promise you. I promise I wasn’t trying to mislead you or…or anything like that! Baby,” and why did she have to use that kind of pet name? Suddenly it meant so many gross things now, “We’ve been together for so long, and I’d never give you up for anything. Oliver, you’re my world!” I sniffled back, “Y-you’re my world too…” So why? Fucking why? “I…I’ve known for a long time I’ve wanted to spend the rest of my life with you,” she smiled and it made my chest feel warm, despite the typhoon of confusion and upset in my head and heart, “but…only these past few months I guess I’ve really been starting to…’shape’ that.” “--A-and I did the same!” I cut in desperately, finding just the right moment to jump in and save my girlfriend from whatever propaganda was taking her from me. “Y-you thought about it, right? Day after day? Thinking of the best way to ask and how to propose?” I needed this more than anything. Her like-mindedness. The desperate hope of saving any of this. “Yes!” She smiled so widely and it made my vision blurry. “So…so long… H-how to ask…what we should do that night: Go to the movies? The park? A festival? Restaurant? I’ve thought so much…” So clean and so honest. It was exactly what I was thinking! “I’ve talked t-to friends, read blogs…forums…” No…no…no…! “So why won’t marriage work?” I wiped my eyes just to stop Kailey coming for them herself. “Oliver, it’s just…that isn’t for me…it’s not for us.” “How is it not?!” I raised my voice, “You love me! I love you!” I may have been a fool compared to Kailey, but I sure as hell knew one-plus-one logic. “And you’re right; it is like that. But…my love, Oliver, it’s…different, okay?” “Different?” In what possible way? “Yes, different,” she nodded assertively. “Oliver…do you know what makes me happy the most when I’m with you?” And suddenly I was afraid to ask. “It’s…it’s not the sex. It’s not the kissing–the making out,” it sounded like she corrected herself, like some kinds of kisses were different from others. “Oliver, it’s when I get to see you after a long day at work. When I get a big hug and kiss from you. When I get to hear about your day; help you make your problems feel small, or help push them away…! When we sit down on the couch, I can surprise you with your favorite cookies, or make you your favorite dinner! When I can cuddle with you!” What a chilling revelation. “Y-you mean…you don’t…?” All those nights? All those times? When we were sharing a bed, loving each other in the most intimate way possible…? “Wh-what about those outfits? Th-the lingerie? You love those! Y-you’re sexy, Kailey! You’re hot!” Not some cute mommy! “I did that for you, Oliver, because that’s what couples do. We do the things our partners love.” Her words dropped like a guillotine. Like I’d been living a lie my whole life. “L-look, baby, please… I don’t mean any of this in a cruel way, I promise! I liked it all too, okay? I did, but…” “But what?” I poured my heart out to her. I thought I knew her. But apparently I knew nothing at all. “But it’s different now. I don’t know…that changed somehow, sometime. But it doesn’t matter, because my love for you is still the same! I don’t love you any less, it’s just…different!” “So if you can love me like that, why can’t you marry me, Kailey?” “Because…it’s not being honest with myself and it’s not being fair to you,” I watched her nose gently exhale. “Oliver…I know it bothers you with how things are right now,” bother couldn’t even begin to describe it, “but...how I feel hasn’t changed. I’ve given it some time and tried to think. Maybe I could see it some way differently, but…I can’t. I can’t and I won’t. This matters too much to me. You matter too much to me. I love you and that’s why I want what others have, but for us!” “I don’t want that! I don’t want any of it!” I stepped back finally from the couch and came to my feet. “I want you, Kailey! None of that crap society is forcing on either you or me! I want you as my wife, and nothing else!” “Oliver…” Kailey stood up and tried to reach for me, but I took one more step back. “Please? Just try to think about this from my perspective?” “I already have! I’ve…I’ve been thinking about it from yours– from society’s for so fucking long!” Every man bemused into a boy. Taken down every single peg they have until they’re just incompetent, dependant stumps for their lovers. Their mommies. But now it wasn’t any unknown face or magic brick wall. No set of talking-points casually and softly pushed on a daily basis from passing adverts or politicians and speakers. Now it was in our home, and it was Kailey herself. My world was crumbling as reality itself smashed all my dreams and hopes, and I was in tears. “Oliver, please! We…we can still do those things? We can still kiss like we used to, and we can…we can still do some of those other things!” Some? “What could you possibly want that we already don’t have?” I shot out my arm, trying to swipe away at any of the madness still wafting in the air. “You, Oliver. I want you!” Kailey suddenly and for once raised her voice. “I don’t want a boyfriend anymore that stays mad, bitter and scared of the outside world! I don’t want a boyfriend who has to feel scared just for trying to live his life! Don’t you get how that makes me feel? How that tears me up? Having to call your boss, not knowing if she made your life a living hell that day? Hoping you’ll come home safe to me on your own?” “Can’t you listen to yourself?! Who even are you, Kailey? I don’t need a babysitter to manage my worklife and get me home! I’m a grown-fucking adult!” “You’re a BOY, OLIVER!” Kailey cried back in a yell and it sent tingles down my spine. Her hands were balled and there was a fierce, passionate look in her eyes. “Y-you’re…!” Finally, she sniffled, pinching the bridge of her nose. “You’re my boy! M-my…my sweet thing that I want nothing more than to protect! I’m tired of seeing you so distant and upset! Mad and angry! Scared! I just want you to be happy, and I know how to give that to you! I don’t want you to have to carry around responsibilities like they’re the weight of the world you feel some imaginary obligation to hold on to!” “T-then where does that leave me, Kailey? Where does that leave us? I-I can’t…I can’t do that. I won’t. I want an equal, Kailey. A partner. I’m not looking for a Mommy!” And probably neither was any of the rest of the male population in the world. And yet, here we all were, far too late to realize just how much the water was really boiling. And if we couldn’t come to an understanding, then… “I-is this it? Does this mean we’re breaking up then?” It didn’t take long for her to answer. “No, Oliver, it doesn’t mean that! Not even close!” she cried in an offended tone. “Honey, please, I’ve said it so many times, and I’ll keep saying it for as long as I need to: I love you! I love you more than anything! We’re not breaking up, and I’m not letting that happen.” “Then where the hell does that leave us, Kailey? I’m not being your little boy! I want a wife!” “And I won’t be your wife,” her hands finally dropped on her hips. “I won’t because I love you too much to be. A wife isn’t what you really want, Oliver; it’s not what you need!” “Don’t tell me what I need!” I trembled with the words firing from my mouth. “N-no…no. This isn’t happening. This isn’t!” I turned and stormed off to the bedroom. Duffel bag. A suitcase. Something to pack clothes. “Oliver? Where are you going?” Kailey called right from behind me. We listened to two pairs of feet moving down the hall. “I’m packing. I’m leaving.” Maybe some time apart could help her. Help Kailey come to her senses. Or maybe…really…this was it. This was somehow actually the end of us. But it wasn’t the end yet when I stopped short of the doorway at the end of the hall. My wrist was tugged and Kailey’s hand was on the other end of it. “Oliver! You’re being ridiculous! Can’t we just talk this through?” “Talk what through?! Talk about how you’d want me to quit my job that’s already been so fucking mutilated? St-start dressing down to stuff more ‘socially’ appropriate?” Those were the fucking worst. Watching all the commercials about ‘social’ rebranding of men’s wardrobe. Dressing down into their ‘new roles’ and ‘inner selves.’ Stripes and neons. Suspenders and fucking elastics…! “We’d talk about all of it, Oliver! I’m not trying to trick you! I want to discuss everything, because we’re partners! I…I just want us to become more than that!” I roughly yanked my arm away, but only with a struggle. A struggle I was allowed to win. “I don’t. I’m not doing this, Kailey. I don’t want to become your little boy, and I don’t want to call you anything else other than your actual name!” “Oliver, please! Mommies let their kids call them by their real names all the time! You can too!” And in a brief deafening silence, I gave her such a deranged look, just to communicate how far out of touch we were. “Where’s my suitcase,” I said while my back was turned, storming into the closet of our bedroom. A bedroom I wouldn’t be seeing for a while. “Gone, Oliver.” “Gone? Why?!” She was leaning by the doorway, like she was waiting for me to finish a tantrum. “Because I’ve been thinking about this night for over a month! I planned for everything. I tried to think of every possible way you might react.” “So you thought I might react rationally and try to leave?” “That you might not want to confront the truth,” she frowned. The fucking nerve…! The person I loved…! “You’re not leaving, Oliver. We’re discussing this.” “What, until I just cave in and agree to everything you demand of me?!” I angrily knocked down a small stack of empty shoe boxes. Right where I remembered our suitcase being. I stepped out of the closet, slamming the door. Fine. We have plastic bags in the kitchen. The first thing I did was go up to the dresser, yanking open the top drawer for my briefs. Empty. Second drawer. Empty. I gave her an accusing look. “I told you, laundry,” Kailey put it gently, but it hit me no less hard than any of her other knife-twisting, hypnotizing blabber. “But, your briefs…well…” all she could do was sigh, and seeing a stranger so far from the person that I thought I knew made it so much clearer and easier to connect her to the worst facets possible of this entire movement. “Y-you…my…my fucking underwear?” Plastic cookie tray. Plastic. “N-no,” I shook my head. Violently. “No. Absolutely not. Never in a fucking million years! What the hell are you thinking, Kailey?!” “Oliver, please, calm down!” she stepped off the doorframe and rushed over, gently, yet firmly forcing me to have a seat on the bedside. “This is all a discussion, okay? So please, just let’s talk? I’m not going to decide anything without you!” “Is that why you acted behind my back?” “It’s because I wanted to make sure everything went right. And…from everything I’ve read, this…this is expected.” “What the hell are you reading?” “Forums and posts. Other…mommies…people that have been in the same exact place as us right now. What we’re going through right this minute.” “Kailey, we’re about to lose our fucking relationship!” “No we’re not, because I know you love me, Oliver, and I love you too.” And she had the nerve to say it so passionately, too…! Making my heart ache so much despite becoming everything I’ve hated and feared! “It’s natural, okay? To…to feel angry, and scared. Oliver, we’re not losing anything between us, okay? This…this is a lot like marriage, just different!” “How is this anything like marriage?” No similarity other than a contract between each other. “For one thing,” she grabbed my hand, massaging it like things were somehow still the same, “we still love each other, right? We don’t care for each other any less? Oliver…what you’re looking for…what you think you are… It’s…it’s not out there.” “E-excuse me?” “Marriage? Husband and wife? That’s…no… Oliver, this,” she pulled up my hand, forcing my bracelet in front of me, “this is what love is!” she sniffled and her eyes started getting glossy, “I want you so badly to understand that!” And no matter what she said, the fact of the matter was how rocked to my core I felt. Kailey, a person I’d loved so long and so intimately for two long, wonderful years, and still love now despite the situation, was ultimately no one different than the rest. She’d decided on a “love” like this despite being my world and my everything. If the person I trusted most could turn out like this, what meant that there was anyone else out there who could be different? I had met her before a mass-indoctrination of sexist domineering opinions and she was still corrupted in the end. My Kailey. Claimed and changed. Permanently. Trapped behind a prefabricated wall of logic and reason that wasn’t hers but the armor she wore. What snowball’s chance in hell did I have of ever meeting someone post all of this corrupting propaganda? With Kailey I had the chance of a normal relationship for years. A fucking stranger this afternoon was getting ready to diaper me in a bathroom…! “We’ll start slow,” she sniffled and pressed her forehead against mine. “We’ll talk about everything. All of it. I want us to be happy, Oliver, and I can’t keep things the same as they are now because I’m not happy, and I know you’re not too. So please, can’t we stop pretending and just rip off the bandage?” Maybe we could try to stay the same, but society wouldn’t stop moving and gears wouldn’t cease turning. Between us and the world, Kailey for the first time was finally telling me to get ahead of it… “K-Kailey…” my hand found its way on her shoulder, and I started to sob. “I can’t…! I don’t want this! I…I wanted something else with you…but not this!” “I know it’s scary,” she pulled me in for a hug, locking me in place with her deceptive warmth. “But you have me? I’m gonna get us through all of this because I know how happy we’ll both be on the other side of it. No more having to deal with mean coworkers and bosses; doesn’t that sound nice?” It actually did, and that’s what made me feel worse. She let go of me and I watched her kneel in front of the bed. My heart made a nervous tick as she lifted the bed skirt and the sound of plastic packaging rustled from underneath. I fought the urge to close my eyes once it slid out from underneath the shadows I wished it had never crawled out from. The love of my life stood up, holding the purest most vile poison I’d ever seen. The worst part of it all. Rock bottom the truest sense of romantic loss I’d ever laid eyes on, and was unfortunately forced to see on so many others. So many other emasculated men. “K-Kailey…” I winced, like I was looking straight at the cancer-giving sun. “Oliver…” her hands slightly pressed and the large plastic cube crinkled some more. This couldn’t be real. It had to have been the twilight zone. “This is part of the discussion… It’s…it’s important to me.” Suddenly my briefs in the laundry, if that’s where they really were, didn't feel so coincidental anymore. Kailey may have claimed to not be a liar, but she certainly betrayed, deceived and tricked. And before she could even have the pleasure of speaking it aloud, I whimpered the word myself. “D-...diapers…really?” Kailey quietly sat beside me, holding her arms over them like it was a treasure. “I…I want it so badly, Oliver…!” I barely glanced at them before looking away. Already torn open, a stack of thickly designed adult diapers sat between my girlfriend’s arms. Smiling trucks, cars, and planes. Like there was legitimate joy to be had in losing out on actual toilet privileges. Quietly she set the package aside though, strolling over to the dresser. “I…wanted to try and surprise you with one…” she opened the lowest drawer and pulled out the lone disposable rectangle. My heart was beating a mile a minute. I wanted to run, so desperately, but I knew she wouldn’t let me. Kailey would physically prevent me. For us, as she’d claim. And what sucked so badly was just how much I loved her. How in spite of everything up until now, deep down I still wanted us. Even if this whole world had gone to hell and had become some terrible dystopian situation, I wanted to suffer in that hell with at least the one person I loved, even…even if that love was different. It was the sadness of settling in. The displeasure of knowing I’d never get anything better than this. “K-Kailey…” I wiped my eyes, “...please…!” I could barely hear my sobs over the unfurling of plastic padding. She smoothened the comforter, setting a towel that’d magically appeared on it while she spoke. “Oliver, it’s going to be a lot of change, but that’s nothing you weren’t expecting if you wanted us to be married, right? There’s always growing pains. There’s always new experiences. There’s always new discussions. We’ll talk about this. About all of it, and we can compromise.” She fully spread it now, letting both ends have their wings spread free. The interior lining looked terribly soft. Unfortunately so. I was meeting my maker by the hands of the person I’d least expected. “Can you please come over here? We can talk while we give this a try?” she pressed her hands on her legs tentatively. Calling it out as we felt so disingenuous, and yet Kailey wouldn’t stop trying. As much as she was robbing me of the lead, she kept on asking me. Begging me to accept in a way that made this less painful. She wouldn’t let me go because she knew I wouldn’t find anyone else. No one as accommodating as her, nor as kind. That, and just maybe, she actually did love me. Was this how other guys felt? Was this exact situation really as common as those fake and phony articles said? I hiccuped the moment she undid my slacks, dropping them to the floor. “You know I still think you have the most handsome body, right?” she touched her nose with mine, and in some twisted confusion I let out a small chuckle, holding back the tears. And like it was somehow approval, Kailey laughed right back, smiling so widely. So clearly. Shining the sun down on me so strongly that I was yet again afraid to look. Afraid because it actually made my heart ache. I wanted the affection so badly, yet I was right in the midst of having to deal with what came with it. My body flinched the moment my naked behind hit the top of the diaper. “Is it soft?” she asked, tugging the plastic sides out from underneath me, and I shivered in uncertainty and shame. Was there a chance at just locking this away as a form of roleplay? Letting our normal lives stay as they were? I didn’t answer, so she continued. “Oliver…please, I know this might be hard at first, but you’re going to understand just how much I love you. I’m going to show you that in so many more ways now.” “Th-this is love for you?” I croaked up at the ceiling, feeling the crinkly thick front draw up to my crotch, only after a tender massage from my would’ve-been wife from a white cloud of wispy smoke being powdered on me. “Yes, Oliver,” and the sides drew to a close. One-two-three-four, and a quartet of tapes were pressed onto my front. “It is.” And she looked down at me, and I looked up at her. Just as my bare leg moved my diaper crinkled and just then I saw the twinkle in her eye. A look I hadn’t seen in so…so long. Something that I had never noticed until now. “Ollie…” she whispered, bringing her hand right between my legs that felt so forced apart now, leaving a large runway for nothing now but my lover’s invasions. A spot that used to be occupied by what we shared in bed on naked, restless nights. But her smile and her grin. The tears in her eyes. The pure, unadulterated joy that even I could tell, laying there sad and confused in my very first of many diapers. This really was everything to her. I was everything to her. Just as I’d been from the start. I doubt she’d ever have any interest in sex again. I wasn’t even sure if I’d see her fully naked ever again. Not that I couldn’t, but because the power structure had just been rocked so heavily that roles and rules were changing on the spot. “Thank you…” she cupped my cheeks and kissed me on the forehead. Not the lips. “You’re my everything. You look so precious…!” I let her sit me up, crinkling all the way, and now I couldn’t even sit reliably on the edge anymore. My plastic, smoothened behind, couldn't make up anything now other than frictionless touches. “Oops!” she giggled so softly, holding an arm on my stomach, just like she did when we cuddled on the couch, tugging me back a safe distance from the edge. Far back enough to stop slipping. “S-so…we get to talk about this…right?” I asked weakly, fighting a whole new wave of tears from a life well-lived, and a fearful attitude for what was to come. “Of course we will… But let’s leave it like this for tonight, okay? There’s a lot to cover, so…I just wanna take things slow.” Slow enough to give me plenty of time in diapers… For what I had no doubt Kailey would desperately try to make a permanent solution. I feared for what really was a discussion and more just an explanation for how things assuredly were now… I moved and my underwear crinkled. “And Ollie? I did just think of one thing?” I looked up at her. “It’s kind of like marriage, if you think about it? I mean,” her arm came around me and she smirked, hugging my far shoulder. “After all, you’re getting my last name now, right?” Maybe nothing really changed, after all.

Stop! Don't panic from the story, please! It's fiction! Probably! Lol, thanks for the comment! Yepp, I can't say I'm big on dentists either. Gotta do what we gotta do, but no thank ya to metal tools in my mouth. Especially to the scraping ones... Thanks

These are the kinds of discussions that I live for, lol. As far as the entire dentist visit went, I trying to come up with a "fair" flow of things that didn't seem totally unbelievable, but assuredly put Emily in a slightly awkward position. Thanks for reading and commenting, everyone! Thank you so much! Glad you enjoyed it!

Thank you for catching that as well! Unfortunately the last thing I have to perfect with a single copy+paste from an rtf file is somehow getting the horizontal line breaks being automatic. That's something I have to manually cross reference with the original file and manually paste them myself. Accidentally missed that one. However! For once I have an actual rebuttal, lol. I do remember constantly getting a flavored coating over your teeth towards the end of the check-up. Google as my expert witness just so I wouldn't doubt myself, it still is a form of fluoride treatment, if it's anything more than just that. And I do agree that I may have been hasty skipping over the X-rays, but let's just say canonically that they skipped them that day because it was such a rushed checkup and they were busy cleaning most of the exam rooms! Hence why Emily got stuck with the kiddy room. Therefore, there wasn't any way they could do X-rays that day. (The beauty of writing myself into a corner...!) So glad you enjoyed it and thank you for holding my feet to the fire! More will be coming publicly eventually!

No. Obviously that's a canonical term exclusive to this universe. It wasn't just me assuming that I knew how to spell a word and never stopped to consider it. (Docs wasn't fast enough to catch my mistake...) Thank you for calling me out on that! Lol. Not the first time I've been spotted trying to use words on the fly, haha.

So glad you enjoyed it! I'm always stressing over things that probably could have been expressed differently or better, but it's reassuring whenever I get awesome comments like this! Thanks for reading and commenting! This was sort of an out of leftfield kind of chapter, but as soon as I thought of it I knew I just had to write it, haha. I also dropped another subtle something in here that I want to use later. I have another scene in mind that I'm excited to write! Thanks so much for the comment! I do not like the dentist one bit either. It wasn't too difficult tapping into an anxious mind for something like this, lol. It's always fun making moments where Joyce has to give Emily the "talk", or when babying happens out of baby mode. It's a subtle but extremely fun progression getting to blur the lines between their two modes! Thanks for reading!

39 - Appointments “Emily? Come on, we’re going to be late for your appointment! Let’s get your shoes on!” Joyce called from the slate entrance, dangling a pair of smaller-footed sneakers from her fingers. “Can’t we go another day…?” a voice traveled back from a different room. “I’m not feeling too good…!” “I’m sorry you feel that way, hon,” but Joyce wasn’t sorry that she wasn’t born yesterday, “I can schedule an appointment with Dr. Hall for you while we’re at the dentist?” Silence. The sound of deteriorating negotiations. “...I’m not going!” By this point, maybe Joyce was the fool for thinking she could get away with just a beck and call and expect total compliance. “Fussy, fussy, fussy…” she muttered, debating whether it was something to smile over, or find the strength to be stern. Emily was laying on the bed, half of her face buried in Pip, but her eyes were immediately on Joyce once she stood beside the door frame. In her eyes were the fear of God and the inner child that was digging its heels. Or adult. Whichever it was, it was indignant. “Emily. We are going to the dentist.” “I’m fine! I brush my teeth! I floss!” Emily truly whined, and it wasn’t a gleeful one. “And that doesn’t mean you get to just skip out on regular visits!” Joyce huffed. “What if you have a cavity and you don’t know it? Or you have something else going on that you won’t find out until it’s too late?” Emily’s first answer was to squeeze Pip tighter. Of all places, not the dentist. A person poking around in your mouth with sharp tools? Absolutely not. Maybe once upon a time, ten or so odd years ago she had parents that forced her to go, but now she was a full-grown adult capable of making her own decisions. And yet, as Joyce stood there with a hand on her hip, even Emily felt her agency evaporating. “I…I feel fine. My teeth are okay.” And yet her words were only more rope to hang herself with. Joyce readily countered with, “Great, so then that means we’ll be in and out once we go?” “I’m not going, Joyce! I hate the dentist! I’ll go when I actually need to! I’m an adult!” How did this even happen? All that stupid talk about running out of toothpaste and mentioning Joyce’s earlier appointment… Why did she have to get roped into her girlfriend’s routine? Six months a visit? Sure, that’s on her, but not Emily! “Yes, you are an adult, but I’m only going to respect your decisions if they’re responsible and mature ones. Emily, honey, I get that you don’t like the dentist, but you know that it’s for your own good?” Emily grumbled, pressing her hands down, determined not to move, chained to her tree no matter the bulldozer that came her way. “Is that a yes? So you agree with me?” Joyce taunted. An easy way to tease an answer. “No!” Emily shouted right back. “Emily, if I have to carry you down to the car, do not think I won’t. If you want to eat tasty food and have sweets and dessert, you need to have a good set of teeth, and that means going to the dentist regularly.” “Then I’m done having sweets!” Emily spat, finding the ultimatum that never really existed. Joyce crossed her arms, hardly a believer in the change of attitude. “So you’re done? No sweets ever again? No ice cream, no chocolate, or those milkshakes that you like?” “Nope.” She wasn’t even thinking, simply too focused on avoiding the dentist at all costs. “So then you’re done with the pancakes I make too? Is that it? Same for your milk?” “...Mhm…” Maybe she hadn’t really thought it through, but if this is what it took to call off the visit… “No more banana pancakes, you know that, right?” One too many buttons had been pushed and Emily for a moment was all cylinders, finally coming out with it. “--THE DENTIST SCARES ME!” “I can tell that much…” Joyce sighed with a seat taken on the edge of the bed. Yet somehow this put Emily for total shock. “A-and you’re still making me go?!” “It doesn’t matter if you’re scared, Emily. It’s important for your health. I’m going to be there with you the whole time?” It was wild to think she was getting this much pushback. It felt even tougher than it was to get her in a diaper for the first time. “Please? Can you do it for me?” She gave a pause for an answer, but none came. “Do you know how that makes me feel? How worried I am that you could have something wrong with your teeth and it could’ve been dealt with much sooner?” “That’s not fair…! You can’t guilt trip me like that…!” “I can and I will if it convinces you, because it’s the truth, Emily. Wouldn’t you want peace of mind yourself?” “I haven’t been to your dentist before though…what if they mess up or something?” Granted, Emily’s dentist lived on the other side of the country. What she wasn’t prepared to tell Joyce was that she hadn’t gone once since coming out here from her home state… “They won’t. They’re paid good money not to mess up and they’ve been doing this for years. Try to think about other things, because it’s doing you no good worrying over things that aren’t going to happen. Here, I’ll even put your shoes on for you.” She phrased it like a kind gesture, but the quiet reality was Joyce forcing the notion that this was happening whether Emily liked it or not. “Joyce…please…” “We still have time to get your pacifier if that’s what we need?” Joyce commented as she tugged on the first shoe. “No! That stays here!” Emily had another outburst of worry, yet her legs didn’t kick. “I’m a minute from either making you choose between a diaper or Pip then, Emily. I love you and I’m not mad at you, but I will be stern if that’s what it takes to keep your wellbeing in check.” And if words weren’t enough, she raised off her knee to kiss Emily on the lips. “Not another word about not going, understood?” She sniffled and started sobbing, nodding her head. Damn, why did she have to make Joyce feel so guilty? This was all certainly unexpected to Joyce. Paradoxically, for as much of a little girl she wanted to encourage Emily to be, it was quite surprising to find such a…fitting sort of stereotype embedded in her. Yet as guilty as Joyce felt, she had no qualms playing the villain if it was meant for Emily’s sake. “You know how proud I am of you, right?” “Mhmm…” Tearily, Emily nodded. She was upset, annoyed, and frustrated. She shouldn’t have to go if she didn’t want to. Joyce had no right forcing her to do things she didn’t want to do. So why wasn’t she fighting back? Physically resisting? That…that seemed like it would be going too far, but it also wasn’t fair that Joyce could physically force her! “Hey,” Joyce lifted her chin, “no grumpy faces.” Screw not being able to have any grumpiness. Grumpy was what she’d stay if she got nothing else. If Joyce was getting her way, Emily was at least entitled to malicious compliance. Emily kept her words to herself, and most of her emotions. Like a game, whenever Joyce was watching, it was at best a dejected sort of look, otherwise it was back to frowning and sulking. Needless to say, this was far from how Emily planned their Friday afternoon going. Finally, after walking down the hall, taking the elevator to the underground parking garage, getting in the car, and pulling onto the street, Emily finally said, “I don’t want any babying this weekend.” Was it emotionally charged and the heat of the moment? Certainly, but in a moment of selfish spite, she was letting an absolute buzzkill of an outing affect everything to follow after it. “Alright then.” Joyce, seemingly unfazed, answered back a second later. Her eyes were on the road, both hands on the wheel. Emily tried to not let it show, but obviously that annoyed her a little. It was petty, of course, but she would have hoped that it might sting a little… “We’re lucky that they were able to take you so soon, you know? I called on such short notice, yet they just managed to fit you in.” “I wish they didn’t…” Spoken like a true mope, with a chin on her shoulder no less. “Well I’m glad they did.” The car ride went back to silence, save for the radio, but otherwise just that. The next checkpoint was arriving in the parking lot outside the multipurpose building, housing a hedge fund company, credit union branch, tech repairs, and a dreaded dentist… “Okay, come on, time to get out,” Joyce spoke with basic commands every step of the way, preemptively, nipping in the bud any sort of bratty combativeness that Emily could try. More and more Joyce was sounding less like a girlfriend and more like something else, and unfortunately it just meant that this was one of those days, or situations, given how things had gone this time. Inside the elevator Emily was quiet, but her feet were not. One would twitch, swing, maybe even tap the floor. “Are you nervous?” The answer was obvious, but left unspoken. Joyce knew, but she wanted Emily to make it clear herself. “No…” Emily scowled right back. This sucked. This sucked far too much. She didn’t want to be here, and if it weren’t for her girlfriend holding her hand, she’d have been long gone by now… Her foot stopped fidgeting. The entire floor must have belonged to the tooth care place because the elevator opened right up into a waiting room. Leather seats propped on shiny metal legs lined the sides of the room, and even a grand aquarium from floor to ceiling divided up some of the chairs. Unheard of magazines sat neatly ordered on the glass coffee table and were paired with a decent view of bustling traffic down one of the many long city roads, loomed over by an endless array of skyscrapers. One such woman was sitting by herself, reading one such magazine. She looked like a Joyce-type. Not the kind that tried to guess your diaper size and impose a bedtime, but the kind that did important work and made good money. The whole room was clean and orderly. Emily hated it. It was all the signs to be seen in any sort of medical waiting room. And what was worse? Just in earshot the hum and buzzes of machines and machinations of horror were going off down the hall. What they did was anyone’s guess, but the less rational and easily perturbed ones might suppose they were rusty, oil-powered teeth-pullers and hand-held jackhammers for the mouth. Whatever the equivalent for suicide watch was for a girl about to make a break for it, Joyce was on high-alert. Emily wanted to let go of her hand, but Joyce did not reciprocate. “Hello, we have an appointment for Emily?” Joyce greeted the secretary behind the glass. “Emily? Let’s see…Oh, yep, right here! Emily Sen, correct?” “The one and only,” Joyce chuckled. “Is there anything she needs to fill out?” “Yes, please,” the woman in her swivel chair navigated the tiny base of operations, assembling a paper, pen, and clipboard. “If she plans on staying with us, we’d like to use some of this information to help start a record until we can get what we need from her previous dentist.” “Perfect. Thank you.” Started and ended on Emily’s behalf, Joyce took them over to a pair of seats. “Do you want me to fill this out, or would you rather?” she asked as they sat down. “I want to go home…” Emily halfway sulked in her chair. Joyce was already pushing and popping the pen’s spring-action button against the paper. “And we’ll go home after we finish up here. So am I filling this out, or are you?” The noise was whirring now down the hall. No screams, thankfully, but it could also just mean that the dentist had started by slicing the victim’s vocal cords. Emily kept bouncing her knee, quiet and distressed. Meanwhile, Joyce wasn’t humming any tunes this time as she quietly scribbled what she knew on-hand about Emily. “Any allergies?” That one never came up, come to think. “Pollen.” “Are you seeing an orthodontist for anything right now?” “No…” Joyce usually knew when she left the house, didn’t she? “Any medication right now?” “No…” Emily droned on and on to the questions. As much of a stranger as she was to a place like this, she certainly did remember the plethora of things on these sheets that were ninety-nine percent of the time followed by a resounding ‘no’ that hardly needed any sort of focus. “Favorite animal?” “Cat–” and her mouth slammed shut the moment she responded. An irked glare was what Emily was giving to Joyce who couldn’t help but grin. “Just a little fun, come on…” Joyce muttered through a mumbling laugh. “Yeah, well, you know I don’t want to be here.” Emily slumped further in the seat, grouchily murmuring. “And it’s only something you have to do twice a year that takes half an hour. Tops. Sit up?” Joyce’s hand on Emily’s stomach set her back on the slope of a chair somewhat. “This is only going to be as difficult as you make it…” By the slip of her tongue in a moment of impatience, Emily grouched back, “It wouldn’t be difficult if you just asked me what the stupid paper actually says…” For being a person so in control of their words, it can always be oddly fascinating how by chance, one in a million, that your words can somehow bypass any filter or sense of rational thought you might have. Blindsided by her own words, swept by the heat of the moment. Emily tensed the second her subconscious voice finished speaking for her. Then came the warm breath of air against her ear, but with none of the sweet coos and whispers to go with it. The warnings of consequence were just a handful of decibels from turning into a full-blown scolding that didn’t care whether or not the woman minding her own business just a few chairs down could hear. So as a final mercy, Joyce calmly whispered into Emily’s ear. “I know you don’t want to be here, but that is no excuse for the way you’re talking to me. I’m sorry for making you upset, but you are not going to be a grouch and take it out on me. Do I make myself clear?” There must have been torrential downpour in the waiting room, because Emily’s tiny embers were now just soot washed away by the waves of her girlfriend’s wrath. “...I’m…I’m sorry…” What was far less private was the wet kiss on Emily’s cheek. “I’m sorry too.” Roses and sunshine, Joyce was back with the clipboard. Like her memory from a few seconds prior had vanished. “Okay…when was the last time you went to your other dentist?” And like so, coincidence could be such a cruel mistress. “Uhm…” Lie? Maybe, but truthfully, Emily was too frazzled to know whether or not it was safe to not-truth about that sort of thing. Lying to Joyce? Definitely not safe. But to the dentist? Was it that big of a deal…? “At least six months, right?” Joyce seemed to be giving her the benefit of the doubt, but it was clear she was goading an answer. “Yeah, six…” No eye contact worked wonders at heightening suspicion, come to find out. “Emily? I know it’s been more than six.” Her eyes didn’t leave the paper. “You can tell me; it’s important that they know.” “...ear…” Chin tucked over the other shoulder and seemingly enamored with the white wall to her side. “I didn’t hear that, Emily. Speak up and look at me, please.” Her head came halfway in a rusty, rickety fashion, jittering to the point that their gazes were parallel. “Th…three years…about…” The absentminded twirling of the pen on paper halted immediately, like a calm and relaxing ensemble of smooth jazz music had suddenly just been stopped. Joyce gripped the pen, and Emily knew her answer wasn’t received without silent judgment. But it did stay silent, as Joyce went back to writing without a word on the matter. Was it guilt that she was feeling? Guilt for not going to the dentist? Not quite. Maybe some of that was there, and maybe there was some for not meeting Joyce’s standards, which were quite average in this regard, honestly. But no, it was guilt owed to herself for not keeping this all a secret any better… Joyce didn’t have any more questions as she wrote, no more than asking for a signature, and Emily tried to busy herself with something on her phone. Anything. “Martha?” A woman in scrubs and face mask was standing by the entrance that led deeper into the dungeon. Holding her elbows she scanned the lobby among the three (but really two, and really only one if “willingness” was taken into account) patients. The stranger stood with a bag over her shoulder and off she went. A nostalgic queasy spell was starting up in her stomach as Emily watched from the corner of her eye. Was that woman going to come out the same? Maybe as a toothless abomination, or a battle-scarred victim of a lazy-handed drill-wielding fiend who got off on other’s suffering for fun… Deep breaths. Meditation. Maybe, just maybe, in that quiet waiting room Emily could awaken her otherworldly powers and discover the very secrets to stopping time itself. Would life move on? Hardly not, but a meager price to pay if it meant dodging– “Emily?” Crap. Shit! Shut her eyes tighter! Don’t stop time! Reverse it! Right before she met Joyce, just so she can cover all the tracks from her medical history! And yet the uncultured folk beside her assaulted her deep meditations with a soft poke on the shoulder. “They’re calling you?” Thank you, Joyce. Truly. Emily was blinded by all the brownie points Joyce was burning through like it was some sort of race. Hesitantly, she stood. This must have been what convicts on death row felt like, except so much worse. Emily was guilty of no crime. She took good care of her teeth! What neglect? She was being framed! Miss one or two appearance dates every six months and suddenly she’s a criminal? Call her an attention seeker, because Emily briefly glanced at Joyce beside her, then blinked twice. No Joyce. She turned her head back farther. There Joyce was, still sitting at the chairs, browsing her own phone, like this wasn’t the last time she’d ever see her girlfriend! “Uhm…” the worker garnered Emily’s attention again, “right down here.” Emily stepped forward but just barely hid a noise of discomfort. Why wasn’t Joyce coming? She had a quiet voice telling her to stomp her foot. She was putting Emily through all of this, so she had to be there the entire time! Then Emily had a brief moment of reflection. She’d been stubborn, indignant, combative and bratty the entire way here and even in her chair. She even shut down babying privileges for the whole weekend in a heated moment of anger. Was this punishment? Joyce’s way of biting back? This sucked. This wasn’t fair. Emily may have toed the line, but Joyce was sprinting right past it! She knew Emily didn’t like the dentist, and she knew how much she didn’t want to be here! She has to come! She has to be moral support! But outwardly quiet and wordless, Emily let herself be led along and down the hall. Alone and afraid. “Right in here? Go ahead and sit down in the chair, I’ll be just a second.” the woman quietly excused herself as Emily walked inside. On some level she was reminded of her nursery. A vibrant cartoon sky blue on the walls, puffy happy clouds and a personified smiling sun. Happy go-lucky frogs, talking trees and overjoyed flowers by the prospect of being violated by just as happy bees to boot. Two tall cabinets beyond the dentistry tools of destruction and signature torture chair in the center were prominently housing an audience of onlookers. Stuffed with cotton and lined with fur. An array of stuffed animals looked down at her. “E…excuse me? Is this the right room?” Emily was already leaning her head out the doorway for the returning assistant. Maybe her words held some weight, because the woman glanced at her clipboard and then the black, yellow-font engraved label on the door before answering, “Yes, this is the right room.” “Alright…” Emily awkwardly sat on the edge of the chair, like she was only stopping by for a brief admiration of the decor. “Just seems like a room mainly used for kids…” “Oh!” Like an afterthought had only just clicked, “I see what you mean.” she chuckled behind her facemask. “Our only other room is tied up with another patient at the moment and our other rooms are going under deep cleanings. We try to use the other room for all our adult patients, but this was an appointment on such short notice…” Emily nodded understandingly, even if she didn’t like this any better. Wasn’t this bad for her headspace or something? What if she started associating baby time with dentists? Definitely a bad idea. It’d ruin everything they had. So maybe she could get up and leave with that reasoning. Joyce would understand, right? “Emily? Sorry? Could you please lay down in the chair for me?” the woman kindly asked, already in her swivel chair sitting behind the head of where Emily was commanded to lay. “S-sure…” Emily did say, but did not do. She twiddled her thumbs, taking a moment to breathe. Was her heart supposed to be popping out of her chest? “Is…everything alright?” the dentalcare worker asked. “Yes…” No. No. Definitely not. “Would you…” it was obvious how awkward of a position Emily was putting the woman in, which is why like a knee-jerk reaction she half-collapsed onto the chair. Emily cringed with shivers as the gloved pair of hands gently adjusted her head, tugging her like a motion to slide back a bit more. “Okay, I’m going to raise the chair now, alright?” “Mhm…” The sudden jerk in hydraulic motion had Emily gripping the arms of the chair like her hands were the jaws of life. An involuntary yelp escaped her mouth the moment she started to rise as her feet rocked on their heels, tapping toes together repeatedly. “C-can we slow down? I-I need a second…” Emily begged through the nerves and stress, barely even letting her back rest on the chair just in case she needed to make a quick escape. Then the gloved hand lightly touched her shoulder. “Wait right here for a minute, okay?” Emily couldn’t see, but she heard the woman get up from her chair and briefly leave the room. Like it was an excuse to get out of bed, Emily sat up from the chair, absolutely miserable. She hated this. This is why she didn’t go to the dentist. This is why she took damn good care of her teeth just so she wouldn’t ever need to go! She could only glance behind her before seeing the tray of tools that made her skin crawl. The tubes and nozzles running underneath, or the deceptive tv on the wall playing muted movies from nearly two decades prior. It was fine to leave, right? What if she cried? What if she begged Joyce to leave? She’d understand once she saw her like this, wouldn’t she? A knock on the doorway snapped Emily out of it, even if only temporarily, as the woman came back in. With a friend this time. “J-Joyce?” She wore her same as usual smile, like no bad blood had ever flowed under her bridge. The staff was sitting back down in her chair and Emily nervously took that as a note to lay back down herself. “It’s one thing if it’s me, but you can’t go causing trouble for the people here, you know?” Joyce grinned, pulling up a chair to Emily's vacant side. Speechlessness was all Emily could muster. She was flustered, embarrassed, aggravated, and relieved. Words were poor descriptors of the mess that her face was trying to express. “She wasn’t causing trouble,” the woman chimed in with a small upbeat tone, “I just figured she might want someone with her.” Translation: get this adult her babysitter to make her behave. “And was she right?” Joyce hogged the other end of the conversation, of which Emily saw before the assistant calmly turned Emily’s gaze back up to the ceiling. Cue the blinding light. Emily’s hand found itself hanging off the edge of the chair, and ever so coincidentally, Joyce’s was right there to catch it. “You know, I didn’t even know that there was a room like this here?” Joyce looked around with curiosity and a twinkle in her eye. “I take it this is usually for kids?” And what did that say about Emily? “Typically, but it has all the same equipment our other rooms do. Most of our other rooms are being cleaned right now.” “Uh-huh,” Joyce nodded, and Emily listened, and squinted, just trying to squeeze anything she could out of Joyce’s hand, “I think it’s a lot more fun than the rooms I always get here.” The two women talking over Emily shared a laugh. “I don’t suppose we can make special requests for this?” Emily tried not to throw a fit right then. Joyce knew what she was doing! Why was she bringing up all this stupid sensitive stuff! There was a line! A line! But whether it was caused by oblivious nature or professional attitude, the woman didn’t take the question strangely. “Technically you can. Nothing about making an appointment says you can’t, but it could affect appointment availability.” “Not an issue. We’ll be scheduling six months out from now right before we leave.” Joyce, the dual-edged sword said back. Loving and supporting, but in exchange committing Emily to a life of pain and suffering. A shackle was donned around her neck next, fastened by a heavy iron padlock. “Awh! They make those clip things for the tissue bibs look like little dentures?” Joyce remarked with pleasant amusement. “Anything to keep someone distracted– but they are fun. I kinda like them myself.” The woman chuckled right back, then patted Emily’s trembling shoulder. “Emily?” she was looking down on Emily, who was looking up at her maker, “doing alright? I’m going to need you to open your mouth for me, please.” Pardon the few teeth chatters on opening up, but eventually a view into Emily’s mouth did appear. “A little wider, please?” “Sorry, she can be a bit of a worrywart… She’s not a fan of the dentist.” “I promise I’ll be extra gentle.” Her assurance sounded like that for a parent and their child. “Emily? Wide enough to say ‘ahh’ nice and clearly, okay?” What was this? Torture? Was Joyce being here even helping? If there was supposed to be encouragement or moral support, it didn’t feel like she was getting what she needed. “A-ahh…” “A…a bit more, please?” “A-Ahhh!” “Wider, Emily, not louder.” Joyce added, rising just a little bit higher on Emily’s shit list. Stretching her jaw some more and opening wide against her better judgment, Emily sounded, “A-AAHHH” “I’m not that scary, am I?” The woman suddenly shifted gears with a grin, gently aligning Emily’s head once more. Unfortunately Emily’s face had nowhere to go, not after feeling like a fool for playing into the dentist’s little fun… “Now Emily,” she held two metal tools in her hands, “I’m just going to take a look inside, alright? This is just a normal cleaning, so if I find any plaque in there I’m gonna take it out, okay?” “U-uh-huh…” She wasn’t crying, right? Definitely not. She was teary, but that was because of the light. It was a strong light. Super strong. And so foreign bodies started to peer inside of her mouth. Sometimes the mirror tool would touch her tongue and nearly scare it down her own throat. The worst had yet to come though. The other tool was a hook. It had to be, because Emily cringed and whimpered against her will with each scrape or tug of something that made her whole head move just a tiny bit. All in all, kudos to Joyce for managing to keep a conversation while also having the life squeezed out of her hand. “So far so good…” the preoccupied woman remarked. “Do you brush and floss normally?” Emily through only her eyes delivered a bewildered expression. Did the dentist somehow expect her to speak? Was it a trap? If she moved her mouth, the woman might slip and cut the inside of her mouth with that horrible hook, then it’d be grounds to charge even more of a bill. With frozen lips and a gaping mouth, Emily murmured back, “U-Uh-huh…” By her side, Emily’s better half answered for her. “She does, but she isn’t very frequent with dentist visits, come to find out.” Need it be said that Joyce sounded less than pleased. Emily did her best to frown from the position she was in. “Well…dentist visits are important, even if your teeth are looking like they’re in tip-top shape…” At least Emily had that going for her. It was enough for a silent sigh of relief, the kind that didn’t make a tool inside her mouth spasm and hit something unintended. “Yes, they most certainly are.” Joyce continued to dogpile, suddenly turning the mood into an intervention for a woman laying in a chair against her will. And finally, after a millenia of torture and uncertainty in the seat, the prodding tools came back out, no fresh wounds left behind, and the woman did seem gentle, which was nice… “Alrighty, Emily,” the woman slipped out of view before coming right back in. “It looks like you’ve been doing a good job in there. Next up is fluoride. Mint or bubblegum?” “Can’t…can’t I just have the normal stuff?” The last time she was asked about her preferred flavor of fluoride her age was in single digits. “I can get some from the other room, but it may take a minute. My coworker is seeing another patient there right now. Do you mind waiting?” And having to stay here any longer? Damn it. It all felt orchestrated. Premeditated. And Joyce, sitting behind her, could only shrug with a smile while her body language said, “Well, what can you do?” What Emily could do was a mystery to herself that only grew more and more with her slipping responsibilities, but she did know what she couldn’t do, and that was being here for more than a single second in excess. “Bubblegum…” Maybe it was validation, or maybe it was instinctual, but for whatever reason Emily herself stole a look at Joyce, who held a quiet but observant smile. “Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve seen you around here? Whenever I come it’s always Hal that does my cleaning?” Joyce continued the idle chat, or so it seemed. Hearing Joyce converse with strangers always made Emily feel anxious just from trying to figure what her angle was. Joyce didn’t do things just because. She was calculating, conniving, evil! But…mostly the first thing. “I just started here a few months ago, actually,” the smile she had was evident even from behind the mask, “my name is Kelly.” With her free hand she pointed a gloved finger underneath her nametag. “Nice to meet you Kelly, and thank you for grabbing me; I just about had to drag my girlfriend here…” “Hghh-eeeey…” Emily muttered in a half-gargle over at Joyce with a tone that implied dwindling patience. And without a word Emily could feel Joyce’s hand in hers go limp, as if trying to disconnect, which only made Emily squeeze harder with a flash of regret. One of the two brought Joyce back online. Kelly chuckled awkwardly as she coated Emily’s teeth. “W-well…believe me, I’ve had plenty of people before that can be a bit squeamish around dentist stuff. I completely understand… If the parents don’t come in already, I usually check befor– Well, I mean– couples too, of course,” she quickly backpedaled her tongue apologetically, having voiced a thought that wasn’t much of a secret anymore. Emily sighed once more. Not from the stress, fear, or any pain, but from the undeniable fact of what this all looked like to Kelly. What Emily looked like right then. “We all have our weaknesses,” Joyce promptly countered though, sort of unexpectedly? She then made an audible shiver. “Jeez, thankfully it hasn’t happened yet, but I know I’ll be the one crying if I find a spider in our house… Emily’s definitely my knight in shining armor for that.” “No?” She chuckled back. “Not a fan of insects?” “I can handle stuff on the screen, but not those things in real life…” Joyce spoke like she was reliving past trauma before her eyes. Emily could only wonder about the insect comment. Was it true, or was Just just trying to put her back on equal footing in the court of public opinion? Lie or truth…it did make her feel better. A lot less like the humiliation from going to the diner with her parents… “Okay, Emily, I’m gonna wash some of the taste out now, alright?” “U-uh-huh.” This time a much more acceptable tool went into her mouth. Just a plastic rod that sprayed cold, refreshing water in her mouth. “Close…” The woman in her motions instructed. “Swallow…” Emily did so as the water nozzle in her mouth made a weird noise in response. One, two more times they repeated the process. “Any taste left?” She asked her as she took the paper bib around Emily’s neck to wipe the corner of her mouth. “No,” Emily shook her head, tasting a bubble gum residue that’d been mostly washed away. “Perfect. Alright, I’m just going to do one last routine check on your teeth with my hands and then you’ll be all set. Then the dentist is going to come in and just give you a quick look. Sound good?” Another obedient nod from Emily. Hands, she could work with those. No metal hooks or prods, just normal handsy-ness. “Proud of you, you know?” Joyce said for the umpteenth time, but now able to look at Emily when she said it, courtesy of a red light in city bumper to bumper traffic. Emily, the unmovable, rested her chin on her hand as she quietly scowled out the window beside her, opposite Joyce's look. “Mhm.” “Don’t ‘mhm’ me. Are you still upset?” “Yes.” “About what?” “About going to the dentist.” “I’m sorry that you don’t like going, but I’m not going to apologize for that, Emily. It’s something you’re supposed to do and you know it.” “And that doesn’t mean I have to like it!” “No, it doesn’t,” Joyce openly agreed, “but I’ll make sure that it’s Kelly that you see from now on for your next appointment.” Next appointment. It was enough to make Emily physically cringe. Another appointment. Another session of suffering. Like that, the next six months of her life had been ruined just from being cursed with the knowledge of what was to come. By this point Emily wasn’t sure if she was bold enough to declare that Joyce couldn’t “make” her go, especially when use of force had been threatened against her once already. “And don’t worry, I’ll be making sure on Monday that Sheila has my schedule clear for your next appointment.” The duality of being a girlfriend and a mommy. Somehow both the support system Emily needed as well as the collar and chain that kept her in line. “Why did you even tell me when the next one is?” Emily moaned, just short of a legitimate groan. “Stop it, you’re being silly,” Joyce admonished. “Isn’t that what I’m supposed to do? Act like a kid?” It wasn’t often that Emily could be irked, but the wrong buttons were being pushed right then and she was starting to become quite unapologetic about how they’d show. “No, because you’re my grown-up girlfriend right now that explicitly told me that I would not be getting even the chance to baby this entire weekend,” finally, Joyce herself huffed back. Likewise for her, she could signal if she was upset in her own ways. “Maybe if we didn’t go to the dentist…” “Really?” Joyce scoffed, “you’re holding that over my head? Emily! You need to go to the dentist!” “I was fine though! I had no cavities! I brush my teeth! I floss!” “And that doesn’t change anything!” “Yes it does! You made me go when I didn’t want to, then you stayed in the lobby the entire time after they called me in! You made me go in by myself, then only came in once someone finally called you! You said you were gonna be with me the entire time! A-and you made fun of me while you were talking with that assistant…!” “I…” Joyce pursed her lips with her grip tightening on the wheel. “Emily…please don’t cry…” Emily rubbed her wet eyes, spitefully sobbing back, “Why…? Do I need to be a baby to do that too?” “I was upset, Emily…and I still kind of am. I’m sorry for making you feel like that…” “Why are you upset?” Emily didn’t consider herself selfish and on better days made a point of being quite the opposite, but this was one of those days where she felt entitled to every bit of misery there was to be offered. “Because it felt like you were shutting me off out of spite. I can handle you wanting a break from being my baby girl, Emily, but I don’t appreciate it being used against me because you’re upset.” Emily fell silent. It was one of the few things she had said to Joyce as they were leaving for the dentist. A knee-jerk, offhand remark. Aimed and targeted, specifically out of spite. Lashing out because Joyce became the object of her frustration. It was crude. A low blow. She knew how much being a caregiver meant to Joyce, and it was blatant exploitation of that just to try and get her way, or at least make Joyce hurt in some way similar. Compared to being forced into the dentist though, all Emily’s worries were superficial. She was strangling her partner just because of a minor inconvenience. “I’m sorry…I’m sorry…I wasn’t thinking. You’re right. I said it because I was angry…!” Retrospect was a terrible thing, with a truckload of unnoticed mistakes and mishaps sneaking up from behind and dropping a whole new load of emotional baggage. Emily tried her best to keep her throat open and clear, though it wavered with the ongoing threat of more tears. “Th-that wasn’t right of me. I know how much it means to you…it means so much to me, too… I…I just didn’t like being forced to go, Joyce.” “I…first, thank you for apologizing,” between bumper-to-bumper traffic, Joyce was able to give her an eye-to-eye smile, “and I understand that you didn’t want to go, Emily. I guess it’s just my first time with this sort of…friction. I should have known better that it was just the aggravation talking.” “But you have feelings too…” Emily sulked, hitting the depression swing of her phases. “All I was thinking of was myself.” “Stop it. It’s all okay now. We talked about it and that’s it. I promise you didn’t hurt my feelings, okay?” “Mhm…” And unfortunately, or somewhat fortunately, a consequence of Emily’s selflessness came the immeasurable guilt she could feel if a tangible debt (that never existed) went unpaid. “...Do you wanna make it up to me?” And in Joyce’s mind, let it not be labeled as exploitation, but simply an opportunity ripe for the taking. “How?” Emily asked right back, with a tone that may have even implied a willingness to commit murder, so resolute. “When we get home, we’ll go straight up to your nursery, get you in a diaper, put you down for a nap in your crib, and I’ll have a nice dinner ready for us by the time you wake up. How does that sound?” Probably okay, as far as Joyce could guess herself, all but one thing, though this time she had the leverage to be making such unpopular demands. Emily, kneaded her fingers in her lap for a moment. “I…okay, but no nap? Please? I take back what I said! We can do babying all weekend! Just no naps, Joyce!” “It’s not a punishment, Emily,” Joyce laughed, “naps are good for you, and I know that you need one.” “No I don’t!” She groaned right back, a little too frazzled to watch the tone of her own voice. “And that is what a cranky little girl sounds like. You’ve been cranky all day, missy. I’m sorry for not putting you down for one any sooner. I think we could have avoided this whole argument otherwise.” “Now you’re teasing me.” Emily frowned. “Farthest thing from it. So I take it we have a deal?” with the raise of a brow and an expectant smile, it was game, set, match. “For someone who can be so against them, you sure do take naps like a champ?” “I sleep, Joyce. What else is there to it?” Emily frowned, holding out her arms, awaiting the ascent from her prison cell. “Well,” Joyce reached in and whooshed Emily out of the adult-sized crib, “I haven’t ever had to check in on you to remind you to go to sleep?” That was an option? Emily was quiet for a moment, feeling a retrospective wave of stupidity hitting her right then. “And don’t think that means you can stay up now,” Joyce interrupted her thought, scaring the stupidity away entirely. “Wasn’t planning to.” She definitely was. And still maybe was… “What’s for dinner?” Emily asked with her head over Joyce’s shoulder, still blushing as she felt the finger slip its way down the back of her exposed diaper. “Sandwiches, cheese, and crackers,” Joyce recited on the walk to the kitchen. Emily hardly ever complained about dinner, and if at all, it was when she was the one cooking, which thankfully had become a thing of the past. With that in mind, Emily wasn’t complaining, however things certainly felt amiss. Sandwiches and a cheese platter was fit for a lunch, maybe, or a small passive meal to munch on during a gettogether. In other words, it felt oddly uncharacteristic. “Really? I coulda cooked if you weren’t feeling it? Maybe you needed a nap…!” “And it sounds like I got you up too early,” Joyce taunted right back. “And when you’re diapered you require absolute supervision around the kitchen at all times, got that?” “Diapers don’t make my motor skills go away, you know…” “So when you’re out of diapers then, too?” Time to retreat. Refocus the subject. “Why’d you not cook?” “I was going to, but then I remembered my special girl still has bubblegum in her mouth.” Code for, ‘you went to the dentist and still have fluoride in your mouth that needs to go away on its own.’ “Oh.” “Yes, ‘oh’. Nothing hot or crunchy for the rest of the night. No need to brush, either,” Joyce reminded. “Had I known this was going to happen though, I would’ve planned at least one dinner that wasn’t going to be hot…” “You know those rules aren’t that big of a deal, right? People still eat what they want all the time…” “And unlike those people, we’re going to do what the dentist told us so that I can keep my pretty girl with pearly whites.” “Ya-huh…” Emily sulked right before perking back up to a new question. “Do I get to sit in a normal chair, at least?” “Why wouldn’t you?” Joyce frowned with confusion. “I mean, I dunno…you’re making me wear a–” “And…in we go,” Joyce softly concluded, smiling cheerily as Emily, as flabbergasted and speechless as ever, was deposited into her high chair. What’s more, the plastic tray was clicked in place before Emily could find the words, though her face was doing enough talking on its own. “What?” Joyce tried not to chuckle, “did you need a longer nap?” “I said normal seat,” Emily frowned. “This is normal, Emily.” Emily swung her legs, feeling the firm, plastic and comfily padded grip of the seat all around her. “...Please? Can I please sit at the table…Mommy?” It certainly never got old to hear and was always just as endearing. “Once I think you can handle it, baby,” Joyce decided then and there, kissing Emily on the cheek. “Head back, please?” Joyce, now behind the chair with an elastic band, was sporting a ponytail next on the girl. “I don’t need a bib…” Emily groaned as the protective neck napkin was done up as well. “And get the kitchen covered in crumbs? You’re being one very combative little girl tonight, you know that?” “Can’t help it. I had tah go to the tooth doctor today,” Emily enunciated in a carefree voice, patting the plastic table and kicking with each syllable. Joyce then put on a look of pure, unadulterated surprise. “Really now? Well? What did the tooth doctor say about your teeth?” She kept the little game of kid conversation going as she poured juice into an adult-sized sippy cup. Then with two fingers, Emily hooked the corners of her mouth to flash her full set of front teeth. “Alllll gooood!” She couldn’t help but giggle the moment Joyce’s facade cracked just enough to give her an almost weird look, yet the endearment never left. “Very, very good!” Joyce cooed as she set Emily’s plate of food and juice in front of her, then took her own seat at the table. “Mmfhmm!” Emily mumbled through her mouthful of sandwich, crumbs and all. “And–” Emily stopped herself just to take a swig of juice, “Mommy said I’d get a present for being soo good!” “Really?” Really? Joyce raised her brow. “And what did Mommy promise her little munchkin?” Without dropping a beat, Emily fired right back, “Ice cream!” All Joyce gave was side mouth to that. “Mmm…I don’t think Mommy would give ice cream right after the dentist. Maybe tomorrow.” Buzz killed. Instantly. Enough to make Emily bear down and give into the pressure she’d been feeling in her bladder. Icky, warm, but not absolutely repulsive anymore. “So how about instead, tonight, after we finish dinner we get you in the bath, then some comfy PJs and snuggle for the rest of the night?” Damn. She really was good at negotiating. “Can I ask-a question?” “You just did?” Joyce set down her own sandwich to come forward and wipe her wet thumb across the corner of a crumby adult baby’s mouth. “Can I ask two more questions?” Joyce giggled at that, “You get one more before I want another bite of that sandwich in you, missy.” “Can I bring one of those puzzle thingies in the bath with me?” “One of your toys?” How Joyce loved to steer the narrative. “Those aren’t tub toys, silly…” then she quietly bit her lip, muttering, “and we still need to get you some…” “I don’t need bath toys! I just wanted to tinker with one of those puzzle things, I dunno.” “I’ll see what I can find during the week,” Joyce smiled gingerly, making it quite clear that a mother’s mind has been made. “You can play with one after your bath. And don’t forget your juice, sweetheart.” “Blah-blah-blah,” Emily bounced her head with each ‘blah.’ “Don’t forget your juice!” She mimicked right back, and Joyce didn’t seem amused. “Do wet diapers make you cranky too, sillypants, is that it?” It wasn’t so much as a direct admission was it a passive drop of the hat by referencing what Emily thought was a secret to herself for at least the remainder of the meal. Unfortunately for her, she was still catching on to the fact that at least for Joyce she had a ‘potty face’, as the mother in charge liked to think of it. She was blushing and quiet. Too quiet for too long to be able to deny it at this point. “...No I didn’t…” But what’s to stop an embarrassed girl from trying? Didja like it? Didja not? Let me know! But on the same (and different) note, on my Patreon you can read the next 2 chapters of Sheltered early! Like Illegal Immigrant? As of tomorrow, go read 2 yet to be released chapters of Illegal Immigrant! Check out 2 commissioned stories (with lots more to come!) Help develop an ABDL dungeon crawler! So much fun and more! Wow~! *Firework Noises*

Give me about five seconds in a place like this and I'd probably mess up. That being said...yeah, it'd probably be kinda fun for the first five minutes. Then reality sets in lol. It's a tough situation with how poorly things have been handled between both parties already. In moments where Katherine and James could've been much more upfront and telling with Dawn, for one reason or another they did not and its set the foundation for a very unstable relationship. Now that things that can't be avoided are starting to come into play, it's forcing them to rely on a kind of trust that they just don't have, unfortunately! Awh, thank you so much! I'm looking forward to writing more stories for everyone to read, DD included! Thank you again so much for becoming a patron! Dawn really does have a mouth on her... Regardless, I'm in the camp that while Dawn is justified, she on some level I think is taking advantage of Katherine. While there are "punishments," none of it seems lasting enough to make Dawn shy to the idea of mouthing off to Katherine. For someone who only wants to love and be loved so dearly, I can't imagine just how deep Dawn would have to cut, if she could, to get something out of Katherine that would change things entirely! But hm. That being said, I think there is another person who might be a bit more receptive to firmer reprimanding... All in all though, I hope Katherine can stay just as loving, though with a bit more no-nonsense backbone in her body. I'm sure she'll find her way though! After all, being a first-time mommy sure seems difficult!

Yes! Very much jam-packed-ness! I hope I'm not going too crazy with the emotion-bonking stick, though at the same time I think just about anything Dawn encounters in this place is going to be an emotional ride... I missed this story too! Thanks for reading still! Hmm. I'm sure things like that do exist, however I can't imagine Katherine ever doing that sort of thing to Dawn in good conscience. Trust levels already seem to have plummeted, and I think something like that could do some pretty irreparable damage to their relationship. It'd sort of send the message home that they don't want Dawn, but they want just a baby that looks like her. Hmm, this group seems to be very keen on giving Dawn cooperative substances. Bleh, all bad medicine. Thanks for reading! Thank you! Feels good to share some more of it again! Sort of ruthless! At the end of her rope pretty often, at least. Dawn's kind of on a mean streak, but in some ways I think James and Katherine are too. They've all got their issues, but that's the beautiful quirk of the Diaper Dimension: barely any Amazons are willing to truly and wholly reflect. Course, it's always fun getting to read a couple stories here or there that make me question things, lol. Thanks for commenting! Growing pains, I suppose! I don't think it's a secret at this point that Katherine did want Dawn originally, and while that's slightly changed with us being told that they want to help her get home, in playing fair to human (and also Amazon) nature, emotions don't just flip like a switch. There's definitely going to be a lot of work involved with this group, especially when we've just started to see the first signs of outside forces affecting them. Just when they might be starting to find something workable, life may assuredly rock the boat for them all over again. Thank you so much for the fun and interesting comment! First and foremost, THANK YOU for such an awesome comment! You don't know how fun it is getting to read thought bubbles on the stuff that I write. It's always so exciting to hear in-depth how people are taking in my work! Hearing mentions of the kinds of things that I was trying to go for, or much larger conclusions/thoughts/claims that tie so many things together that may have been unintentional or just a biproduct of what I was trying to achieve. The most important thing for all my stories is the characters, so I really don't want to betray that aspect and hope to only flesh these characters out more as time goes on. It's definitely a case where both Katherine and Dawn are following their own emotions to a pretty significant degree, but its given the context and society (Amazon society) backing Katherine that makes her seem justified and Dawn as the one in the wrong. Maybe she is, but maybe she isn't? Dawn's lack of knowledge about LPS is just another piece of a much bigger picture that she doesn't fully understand, exactly as you said. Part of why she isn't always readily told and explained things I think is because Katherine (and sort of James) are back to following their Amazon tendencies. They have already been clear about their personal responsibility to protect her, and with that comes trying to protect her from the "real" world like any parent would want for a kid in their early childhood. Whatever Katherine and James do to "protect" Dawn in the eyes of LPS is edging extremely close on a line that's already been blurred enough. Dawn's level of trust for them has been damaged so badly that they can't be given the benefit of the doubt with doing things as dangerously close to what she fears most. I think maybe in small ways Katherine and James will start to come around, but with everything going on around them, they simply will not be able to meet her halfway; blocked by both their emotions and beliefs as well as what society and the law they must follow to protect her mandates. I'm definitely looking forward to giving James some more attention, as much of a mommy fan as I am! Thanks again for giving me such a fun read! They're definitely having a serious trust deficit. It'll be interesting to see how much Katherine and James are willing to put themselves out in a new or awkward position just to get Dawn's trust. But possibly, it may just be that they don't understand yet that it is something like that they'll need to do. Maybe not to "win" her over, but to at least make her more complicit.

PLEASE READ! Hello everyone! I know you must be excited to be getting another chapter of Illegal Immigrant, and there is some good news at the bottom of this chapter! But first and foremost, please take the time to read this short little note. It's always exciting to have people so invested in these stories and eagerly wait for more chapters to be posted. I'm always excited to read your comments, thoughts and feedback on my stories, and this one is no exception! Even in my absence when I go quiet and am not as available, it's always a highlight getting to see one of my stories pop back up on the front page because someone has something to say after reading/reflection on what I've written. So with that all in mind, please do not leave comments solely for the sake of bumping this or any of my other threads. While I can absolutely understand the eagerness for something that you're enjoying to continue, I hope to keep comments related to my stories as things that add substance to the story as a whole. Reactions, comments, feelings and such are so many cool and fun ways to get interaction from YOU! What doesn't affect anything and simply takes up more space are comments simply asking for more. I absolutely understand the enjoyment people get out of this story and I get so much out of it as well. Believe me when I say that I'm extremely humbled to have so many of you reading what I write and leave such positive and nice comments. I want to keep these comments productive, engaging, insightful, and filled with all your reactions to the story! As the author, I think I have a say in claiming that I'm the one who wants to see this story continue the most! I'd ask that you refrain from doing so even still, but if you do want to check in on the progress of one of my stories, or want to make sure that something is absolutely, 100% still in production, please DM me directly rather than bumping this thread. With all that in mind, I'm looking forward to hearing all your thoughts on this latest public chapter! Please enjoy and stay awesome! 12 - Communication is Key Needing a small dose of agency, Dawn with a crinkle slid forward and off Katherine’s lap, landing on her two feet. Katherine clearly looked frazzled. Her face was deep in thought, her hand was balled into a fist as she held it up to her mouth, thinking. “Katherine? Hello?” Dawn was about to wave her hands. She was being ignored yet again, but what else was new. It wasn’t new, but the frustration it generated was always fresh. “KATHERINE!” The Amazon wasn’t scared or shocked, but apparently the might of a Little could only budge the giant a mere inch. She looked down at Dawn, finally. “Dawn, sweetie, please; indoor voices, and no bad words...” “I wouldn’t need to shout if you just talked to me!” Dawn groaned. “What even was that? Who was she? Why the hell are you so bothered?!” Katherine stood up from the couch, walking briskly to the kitchen. “Just a second, honey, I need to call James.” Dawn stomped along right behind her, albeit taking some more time. She had half a mind to remind this woman that she had promised to explain to her what was going on right after. Katherine couldn’t be a better liar if she tried. As Katherine held her phone to her ear, she’d have brief moments where she looked down at Dawn, as if to make sure she was still there and accounted for. “Put it on speaker,” Dawn tugged at the fabric wrapped around her leg. “At least let me hear what James has to say?” Christ, didn’t she deserve that much at the bare minimum? Dawn’s frown only intensified once a seeming conversation began, able to hear only Katherine, and unfortunately, not James. “James, honey?” Katherine’s voice carried urgency. Great. So this was a big deal. Or so Dawn assumed, given she could only realize things based on context clues. Sure, that case worker seemed intimidating, but she had no idea of what it entailed, other than that she made Katherine put on some bullshit act of claiming to be getting a bunch of baby stuff. “James, an LPS worker just stopped by… No, she left, and yes, Dawn’s still here,” she gave Dawn another well-being check with the phone against her ear. “Who did you run into last night? Someone filed a case about you kidnapping Dawn!” Dawn was almost clinging her entire body on Katherine’s leg, starting to angrily drone with her shaking body, “SPEEAAKER!” “J-James, I…-” She pulled the phone away. Finally, attention had been earned. “Dawn? Honey, please! This is very important, sweetheart! Why don’t you go play with Waver until I’m done talking on the phone?” “I know that it’s important,” Dawn shouted, “which is why I have a right to know! Put the phone on speaker! Let me hear too!” Was it really that impossible of a demand? By this point, Dawn could only excuse the ignorance if it was straight maliciousness just to agitate the girl. Katherine had the phone to her ear again. Outright ignored. Placated, or attempted to, at least. As she resumed the conversation with no indication whatsoever to include Dawn, she herself resorted to the one tactic that was working from the start. Back on Katherine’s calf Dawn was tugging. “LISTEN. TO. ME!” Dawn shouted and shouted, more than willing by this point to be an absolute nuisance just to make herself heard. If she was going to be pushed away like a child, she was damn-well ready to be as irritating as one until she was treated otherwise. Katherine’s hands were held to the phone, eyebrows sloped and a, “James, honey, give me just a second...” Katherine put the phone down and made a play Dawn didn’t quite expect. Suddenly she was lifted up by Katherine. The look on her face wasn’t the stress or worry she’d been carrying a few seconds earlier. Now it was an annoyance and a frown. “Do we need a timeout until I’m done on the phone?” Dawn sputtered a gasp of air, completely flabbergasted by the sudden shift. “Y-you...Are you serious?! You said you were going to talk to ME about this! Include me in the fucking conversation, Katherine! I have a right to know! Talk to me! Tell me what the hell is going on!” If anyone needed a timeout, it was this uppity giant that apparently needed a lesson on how to share and include others. The irony was as potent as were Amazons opinionated, haughty pieces of garbage. But she didn’t get an answer. Not the kind that treated Dawn like an independent adult. Instead, Katherine sighed as she moved to the other end of the kitchen. And Dawn, the poor fool, apparently did not have the sense to run the other way. She opened a closet door filled with all sorts of cleaning supplies, but it wasn’t a long look for Dawn because all Katherine wanted was found immediately as she dragged out a footstool with her foot, pushing it into the corner. Two sets of hands swooped her up before she could react, skyrocketing her into the air with just as graceful as a touchdown on the landing pad. Down Dawn went on it, nose pointed to the corner where two walls met. Unbelievable. Un-fucking believable! This woman couldn’t be serious. And to prove the absurdity, Dawn immediately turned her head with a chuckle of angered disbelief. “You can’t be serious. You really think you can--” “DAWN?” Katherine’s voice raised to a point Dawn had never heard it reach, but the feeling Katherine could incite so rarely had the same effect it always had. Dawn stiffened like a board out of reflex. Whatever she thought the danger may have been, it was instinct and a primal response that made her heed caution. “You’re in timeout now. Nose facing the corner, NOW!” She wanted to rebut. She wanted to give her the finger and tell her otherwise, prove how wrong she was for treating her like a kid. She wanted to keep arguing like they were equals. But as Katherine stood there expectantly, standing so high above her, dressed modestly as she scolded the miniature adult in just a shirt and diaper, the footing couldn’t have felt any less equal. The sense of powerlessness and inferiority was almost immediate, as Dawn reluctantly spun her head the other way, if only just to mask her oncoming tears. Again. Again, she’d been unrightfully denied what was promised to her. Liars. They were both just fucking liars. They lied about everything, just to get their way and used their size just to bully the minority into submission! Confined to her new figurative prison, feeling absolutely humiliated, she could only sniffle as she heard the conversation continue from the other end of the kitchen. “James? Are you still there?” Katherine sighed. The absolute bitch, like she had the right to be upset, like Dawn was the problem and not her own ignorance. “No, everything’s fine...I put Dawn in timeout. She was throwing a tantrum...” “No I wasn’t!” Dawn hoarsely barked, still facing the wall, wiping her tears. Where did she get off? Why did all of her complex, rightful emotions and problems always get written off like they were as small and insignificant as these Amazons treated her? Tantrums and fits. That’s all they were, apparently. She could whip out the literal novels worth of bills and loan statements that chained to her ankle in a river of debt, but the best Dawn could probably rouse out of these people is “She had a rough day,” or “Dawn wasn’t feeling her best.” That’s what it was. The problem never mattered, because apparently if it registered as one to a Little, clearly it was something too small for an Amazon to care about, which is why it was the Little reacting that mattered. Never what they reacted to. “She’s upset, yes, but I’m going to talk to her after this… More importantly,” of course, because Dawn’s emotions didn’t matter in the slightest. There was always something more important than her. A greater purpose that superseded her own free will, needs and wants. “The case worker that came, she said she’s coming back unannounced later this week when we’re both home...I can tell you all the details when you come home, but you just get through your day and we’ll get through ours… She looked through the house, James...Yes… Mhm… We definitely need to get most of everything now… Is it okay if I get it delivered…?” Get what delivered? Tell him what details? What was most of everything? Weren’t they just going shopping for clothes? A toothbrush, maybe? There was so much left to the imagination and so much information Dawn wanted to know, but she wasn’t allowed to. At least not yet. She would continue to learn only through the things that were filtered and drip-fed to her like an actual child, too small and too “immature” to be included amongst the adult conversations. Whatever was being said on the other end of the line, it was clearly making Katherine get emotional, if her audible sniffles were any sort of tell. But in an Amazonian fashion, Dawn did her utmost to not care and write it off. Poor Katherine was just having a rough day. Dawn? Well unfortunately she just had to deal with the Amazon’s tantrum. Surely that’s what it was. “Okay...” Katherine exhaled, hearing something apparently that was reassuring, not that Dawn would have known. “I know, thank you… We’re leaving just about right after I finish talking to you. Mhm… Okay, I love you too, see you later tonight. Bye.” Dawn didn’t swivel her head or make an attempt to look behind from where she was. Half of her was pissed, and the other half was small and belittled. Yet both halves reasoned that her well-being came best with compliance at least in that moment. She could hear Katherine sniffle for just a little longer, seemingly distraught. If only Dawn could know the full extent as to why. “Dawn?” Katherine spoke softly, comfortingly. It was warm and with open arms, yet by this point it all felt like some cruel trick. A mere act of deception just to strut the gullible girl along as much as she needed to be. “Are you ready to come out from the corner?” Was she ready. Was she fucking ready? “Are you ready to keep your promise?” Dawn grumbled with her back still to the rest of the room. Her head was so hot she could barely keep herself in check. The promise almost didn’t even matter for the same reason anymore. She was starting to care less about what this all was and simply wanted to hold Katherine’s feet to the fire. She wanted her to pay in some way for breaking her promise. For once again betraying Dawn in so many tiny different ways until the bigger picture looked like what Dawn was feeling. An absolute mess. “Please, sweetie, I needed to talk to James on the phone. It’s hard for me to hear if you’re being--” “Why didn’t you put it on speaker then? Why couldn’t I hear too?!” Now Dawn turned her head around. Maybe without a convenient excuse held to Katherine’s ear, she’d actually explain why she had been so dismissive and patronizing. “And stop calling me ‘sweetie’! Use my actual name!” Katherine took a brief look at her, clearly dealing with her own thoughts before speaking. “...Dawn, I know you’re upset because it feels like I treated you unfairly. I’m sorry for putting you in timeout.” Like that was what Dawn wanted to hear. She wasn’t getting an apology, she was getting an explanation yet again for why she was wrong and too inferior to understand the “grand” things above her head. “But, I wasn’t trying to tie James up with all of us. He’s at work right now and we can’t bother him, so I wanted to let him know right away. Does that make sense?” Of course it made sense. It always had to make sense. It made all the sense in the world. A concrete amount of immovable fact and logic that no matter how Dawn attacked it, she’d always be made out to be the fool. She was trapped in a game designed with rules stacked against her in every conceivable way. Whether there was fairness to her words or not, Dawn had been pushed along far too many times to have any kind of leniency by this point. “Sure.” Dawn almost growled, seething. “But now, since that’s taken care of, I can tell you some of what I told James, okay?” Then came a calm smile, trying to appeal to whatever simple side she thought there was to Dawn. As if a pinch of respect after an entire gauntlet of humiliation and belittling could be washed away so easily. Her attention hinged on her last sentence, though. “Some”. Dawn had half a mind to question why not all of it, and only some of what he said. But she couldn’t. She didn’t want to. Every encounter with this woman felt like such an insurmountable obstacle, beating her down so heavily until she gave in to a “compromise” that left her crippled and wounded. “I get it. That person came because a crazy Amazon reported James. What was she? Police? For Littles?” The discomfort on Katherine’s face was beyond evident. But silently, Dawn thought herself to be thankful only because that discomfort didn’t seem to be charged at Dawn. That case worker was what bothered the Amazon. “No, they’re not quite the same...” Then Dawn could sense it. A filter. She was choosing her words carefully. “Uh-huh?” Dawn annoyedly nodded, implying she was expecting much more than a single sentence. James got an entire fucking speech as far as she was concerned. “Little Protective Services work for the government and make sure all adopted Littles are in safe, loving homes with good Mommies and Daddies...” Katherine explained slowly whilst Dawn tried not to physically cringe. Why couldn’t she just say it for what it was. It was more “bad medicine” and “naughty language” talk. Out of principle the angered woman wanted to walk away. Hearing that as an explanation for that woman and knowing full-well her presence was associated with Dawn’s being here, associated her with that horrible, disgusting spiel. Just from interacting with that agent of evil without even knowing the danger she faced was annoying enough. “I’m not adopted though.” Dawn curtly reminded her. “And you’re not my...guardian.” She stressed the neutral term. “And neither is James.” “Not officially, no...” Katherine agreed, but not fully. Christ, it always irked Dawn so much; she could never get any kind of answer from her that ever agreed completely. “That case worker came today because someone reported that James was kidnapping you, meaning that he took you away from your Mommy or Daddy...” “But I don’t have one!” Dawn couldn’t stress enough. Obviously Katherine wasn’t the one really saying it, she was just the mouthpiece, but there was a long list of reasons that put her on Dawn’s shit-list, so why not dish out the aggravation to her anyway? And then came the magic words. “It’s not that simple...” Katherine frowned, drifting in thought once again. “Even before Littles are adopted officially, they can still be caught in kidnapping cases… For example, if James took you after someone else already claimed you–” “But she didn’t!” Dawn shouted, vividly remembering that horrid woman in the room next door. “She’s lying! And I know she is!” “Well, sweetheart, we can’t say for sure who–” “I KNOW WHO REPORTED ME!” Dawn screamed with never-ending frustration. “And stop!” She took a breath, “Stop calling me all those stupid names! Just call me Dawn! Treat me with at least some respect…!” “Dawn, I’m sorry, hone-- I...I’m sorry.” Katherine doubled down it would seem. “I do respect you.” She paused again, likely choking down another pet name. “I’m sure you do know who may have reported James,” the look on her face and the tone in her voice made Dawn unsure whether it was more patronizing comments or genuine belief. “But even if we know, it won’t affect the issue...” “Does my word mean nothing?” Dawn wiped her eyes. “I tried telling that stupid case worker that she was lying and that I went willingly! She just wrote me off like I was an actual kid that didn’t know any better!” It almost felt surreal, pouring herself out to Katherine, of all people, about a different Amazon that had treated her as something less than. “Your words mean absolutely everything,” Katherine smiled, but in a way that felt like lip-service, or at the most, words that mattered only to Katherine and James, which presently did not feel like a whole lot. Beyond them, it was just senseless babblings from a deemed toddler. “But in these kinds of situations they have to investigate everything very carefully, even if someone might be lying.” “So what...what happens now? They’re not actually going to make me go back to that person, are they?” Finally reaching the crux of the issue, Dawn was finally finding a reason to be afraid. “Absolutely not.” Katherine’s face was now one of certainty. But with how she’d been so distraught and worried between the phone and meeting the LPS worker, Dawn wasn’t sure if it was just baseless confidence or legitimate certainty. “They’re going to see that James brought you here fairly and there wasn’t any kidnapping at all.” Her confidence faltered, however. “But LPS is very strict when it comes to safe environments for Littles… I know you aren’t adopted, but they see you as that right now. I know you don’t like hearing that, but if someone says that you’ve been kidnapped, it means that you’ve been taken from someone.” Semantics. Is that really what would do her in? “And I need you to not get upset about this part, okay?” Katherine waited for a response. She was going to get upset. “Fine.” Dawn nodded, practically crossing her fingers. No guarantees about that. “Now that LPS is involved, even if the report is fake, we can’t give them any reason that might make them think that we aren’t taking the absolute best care of you, okay?” She didn’t immediately understand, and that was exactly why she had such a bad feeling. Dawn quietly and slowly nodded her head. “So when we go shopping, we’re going to need to get you some things that’ll make things easiest and comfy for you while you’re here. That sounds nice, right?” “Like a bed…?” Dawn asked. True, she wasn’t planning on getting one, nor did she expect them to shell out for her on something as long-term as that. Katherine’s eyes lit up as a small smile formed. “Yes! A crib, and things like that. Diapers, toys, comfy clothes; everything that’ll help you--” “W-wait,” Dawn stammered, truly believing that she just heard Katherine wrong. “Did you say a crib…?” She took a small breath, knowing to tackle it one piece at a time, and know for god-damned sure that she did mishear the other grotesque things as well. Diapers? “Well...” Katherine started with her words as that same unintentionally condescending look came about her. “We need to get you something that’s appropriate to sleep in, Dawn…?” “Yeah,” Dawn repeated, “A bed. A normal bed. One that I can climb in and out of; not a cage!” This wasn’t happening. She knew James and Katherine always liked to push the envelope, but at least it was subtle. This was far from that. Forget dipping their toes, Katherine was trying to shove her in the pool head-first. “That’s going to be difficult, Dawn...” Katherine gave the same frown she always did whenever there were no other options that she was really going to humor, feasible or not. Her gentle way of telling Dawn to shut up and accept what was going to happen, regardless of her feelings. “There aren’t a lot of places that make grown-up beds for Littles...they cost more, and I don’t know if it’s the safest choice right now...” “But don’t you get it!” Dawn cried out. “You just said it yourself! ‘Grown-up bed!’ I sleep in a grown-up bed, not a stupid fucking crib! I’ll sleep on the couch! Or I’ll sleep in the same thing I did last night!” “You can’t do that,” Katherine said simply. “What if you rolled off the couch in your sleep? That’s too dangerous.” “I don’t roll in my sleep!” Dawn countered, but quickly saw how idiotic it was to think that Katherine would actually believe her. “You need a proper bed, Dawn,” Katherine insisted, “We have to show we’re giving you a safe environment, which means your own space and your own bed. Don’t you want to have your own mattress to sleep on?” “Sure, but not a crib!” Dawn tried again, but no matter which angle she took, Katherine continued to dance around her words or contradict them entirely. “Tell you what, I promise we’ll find something we’re both happy with, okay?” She smiled like the sun had just shone on their miserable situation, and Dawn knew how much of a deceiving trick her “bargain” was. It was going to be a crib no matter what, which is why Dawn would never be happy with anything. “Happy” merely meant Katherine’s happiness and Dawn’s begrudging compliance. “Why...why can’t I just keep the way things are now?” Dawn moaned tiredly and with sadness. “Will that woman really take me away just because I’m not in a crib?” Katherine’s smile faded as she slightly nodded. “Something like that could happen...but I promise, James and I are never going to let that happen.” Even if every step they take goes against every fiber of my being… Dawn hated all of this. She hated every tiny little thing about all she’d experienced thus far. But given a fresh dose of minute hope made her realize just how much further she could fall. How much worse it could actually get. “That’s all we’re getting, with normal clothes. Right?” Dawn’s voice was on edge, but deep down, she knew that there was more. Her ears weren’t playing tricks. Maybe she was a masochist at that moment, just looking for another way for Katherine to gaslight her. “We’ll see what they have.” Katherine said very little, unusually uncharacteristic of her. But it was another eureka for Dawn, remarking silently how Katherine made a decision she hadn’t expected. She was choosing her battles. Delaying them for another time. Dawn knew damn well there was more to this shopping trip, and her “tantrum” would wait until they got to the store. Katherine just didn’t want to deal with it now, for whatever reason. Fine then. Dawn would hold the illusion to her heart like it was gospel, then use every moment, every second once that curtain was pulled to remind Katherine of what a horrid, absolutely terrible trickster she was. The farthest thing from a saint and the vilest of all people. Deceitful, cruel, and horrible. It was her poison she’d laced the atmosphere with, and it’d be her own undoing, if only a small victory in the eyes of Dawn. “And lastly,” Katherine took a breath, now having a much firmer look, “We need to talk about all those bad words you’ve been using, Dawn.” She rolled her eyes in response. “Yeah, whatever, cry me a--” “I’m not joking about this, Dawn.” Katherine cut in with a stern look. “We’ve given you plenty of reminders to behave yourself and you’re still saying all those naughty words.” “Yeah, well, sorry if I feel the need to express myself every time you and James make everything so difficult for me.” Dawn spat right back, even if she did feel intimidated. “And there are mature ways of expressing yourself when we feel big emotions, and saying bad words and mean things are the farthest thing from it. I’m done hearing backtalk and bad words, do you understand me?” Ironic. She wanted Dawn to understand her? Would it be too cheesy to give her the classic, “You scratch my back, I scratch yours?” Respect begets respect, yet Amazons apparently didn’t see it that way. They commanded and demanded, then gave back breadcrumbs as they saw fit. Then came the dreaded pose. The posture of aristocracy. The hands on her hips. Dawn gave her a mean look as she didn’t readily respond. Fuck her. She was entitled to all the words she wanted to use, whenever she wanted to use them. Respect is earned, not demanded. More importantly, what pissed her off even more was being accused of “backtalk”. A pseudo-word that was all fluff for parents and adults to use against a child when they simply didn’t want to hear a thing of what they had to say. No matter the reasoning, the argument, the logical facts or knowledge said from their mouths, disagreement meant opposition, and opposition meant being combative, and combativeness was inexcusable and unacceptable. Backtalk, and all Dawn’s troubles and woes were being downgraded to just that. Dawn’s eyebrows quivered, but she took her final stand. “W-well...I’m entitled to say whatever I--” Wrong answer. “No. We’re not discussing this.” Katherine sighed as she stepped forward. Dawn stumbled back, but before she could hit the floor with her padded rump, Katherine already had her in the air. “W-wait, Katherine! What are you doing? I wasn’t backtalking you! I’m an adult! I have the right to--” Simply because she was larger, talking over Dawn was like breathing, or more accurately, just speaking normally. “And you had a choice to make a big-girl decision, and you chose not to. So, now you can think about what you’d like to say to me after your timeout.” She was gently dropped back onto the stool, reacquainted with the corner of the kitchen. She’d been handled so swiftly and shut down so smoothly. Once more, she was made out to be some intolerable, indignant child. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair! “Why don’t you act like an adult and just talk to me!” Dawn spun on the stool, sitting on her knees, but almost immediately a pair of hands on her shoulders spun her back around, going as far as to tug up the back of her diaper, whether it was a subtle reminder or a doting observation that her underwear simply needed to be adjusted. “We will talk after your timeout,” Katherine doubled down. No more friendliness. “I said we could pick out your bed together, didn’t I?” Right, which was enough reparations for all the mud she’d been dragged through. “Would you rather I just picked for you?” She asked threateningly, like any mother would. But it hardly made Dawn flinch. It merely agitated her. Katherine was holding a petty threat over her head, thinking Dawn actually cared what kind of crib she got. It didn’t matter if they were all cribs to begin with. “Whatever.” Dawn scoffed from the corner, deciding to turn things on its head. “Fine. Be the big baby. If you don’t wanna talk because you know I’m right, then that’s on you.” Maybe if she at least acted like she had the high ground it could at least leave a bitter taste in the Amazon’s mouth. But if her words had any effect, they sure didn’t show. “I’m going to set the timer, and once it goes off I’ll let you out from the corner. After that we’re going straight to the store. Do not let me catch you leaving that stool. Got it?” “Sure. Baby.” Dawn tried to say it as condescendingly as she could, despite being the one in a diaper, quite unfortunately. Maybe she had poked the bear enough though, which is why she didn’t plan on getting up from the stool. Maybe that was the secret. A timeout didn’t mean anything as long as she didn’t think of it as such. Just pretending to follow the whims of an Amazon who thought they had “won”, that they bested the naughty Little. If it was all an act, the feelings associated with it were so too. Feeling much more zen, like she’d finally beaten the game, Dawn stayed calm as she heard the mechanical whir of a small timer. Tick-tick-tick-tick Tick-tick-tick-tick But God, was that noise awful. Just the right level of noise and ticking so incessantly that it was practically impossible to ignore. How long had Katherine even set it for? Whatever. Just ignore it and it’ll all be over soon… Tick-tick-tick Tick-tick-tick… This had to be insanity. Maybe it was just a rough morning. No, it most certainly was a rough morning. A rough fucking week, but Dawn was trying to equate her mild torture to solitary confinement as her entire world right then consisted of a point where two blank walls met, accompanied by the wonderfully bland tune of a ticking timer on repeat. She didn’t need this. Dawn didn’t do timeouts. Dawn, the grown adult, didn't take punishments like she was some child. She was above this. This was beneath her. She didn’t leave the stool. Instead she clutched her fists, trying not to cry, lamenting over what she’d become in such a short amount of time. As mutilated as she’d been and poisoned by all those who simply want to see her fail, what kept her alive was hope. Hope that there will be an end to all of this. A way back home. Surely. The metal jingle of a dog tag and canine nails lightly scraping the floor was from behind. She had no eyes in the back of her head, but Waver wasn’t exactly hard to hear. Nor was he to feel, as warm dog breath exhaling from his wet snout moved against Dawn’s exposed lower back. “Waver. No,” an omnipotent Amazon called. The dog’s breath pulled away as Dawn felt his head turn, then eventually walk away. Dawn’s corner-glued face scrunched up in annoyance. No, she didn’t want a dog bigger than herself breathing down her back; she wanted absolutely nothing to do with Katherine, especially not to be seen like this… “...Do you think you could handle coming from timeout a little early?” A sudden olive branch was extended, though by the devil herself. “And miss out on hearing the timer tick forever?” It was meant to sound snarky and sarcastic, but emotion had become such a delicacy that she couldn’t afford to spare it on useless exchanges like this one. “Dawn...please, I’m trying to work with you?” “Really? Could have fooled me.” It was like the first fifteen minutes with the timer never even happened. Hell, she could rock to the tune of ticking all night long. That bench was cozier than she thought, even. “Is this going to be how you act when we go shopping?” “Depends on what you buy.” Whatever Katherine was going to get was what she was going to get. It twisted Dawn’s heart so uncomfortably even thinking about what that might mean, but that didn’t mean she was going to be happy about it. With an audible huff, Dawn could hear Katherine moving deeper into the kitchen. The ticking that just kept on ticking ticked a whirl faster as time moved forward at a blinding speed with the forced turn of the dial. DIIIING! Dawn was a smart girl. She wouldn’t call it release on good behavior, but her time as a legitimate child told her that a ding meant the time for the crime had been served. Slowly she turned from her stool. Not her stool. The stool. Katherine was upset. She carried a mug that wanted to be angry, wanted to be stern, but she was simply upset. Confused. Worried. “I need you to be on your best behavior when we go out, okay…?” Her best behavior. Like Katherine had the right to expect or demand anything of a person she’d already taken so much from. Definitely not. If Katherine wasn’t going to truly empathize, then Dawn wasn’t going to give her anything. Not anymore than she already had. “Why should I? You just think I’m some brat, don’t you? Might as well play into your stupid fantasy by being the troublemaker you want! Right, isn’t that it?” “You’re...not being a brat,” Katherine carefully said. Dawn nearly laughed with a haughty grin. It was plain as day, Katherine most certainly was thinking that. She was just trying to feign what so obviously contradicted her nature. It was like Katherine was the open book. She took a second, more than likely trying to find all the right words that danced around whatever landmines she thought might set Dawn off. That was the beautiful part. By this point, Katherine simply talking was enough to set the girl off. “You’re upset about all these big things happening; it’s a lot of change and a lot to take in… It feels like stuff isn’t going your way, but this is when trust goes a very, very long way, Dawn.” “I have trusted you and James.” Christ, hearing the mere mention of the word from her mouth angered her to no end. “You’re both nothing but liars and cons.” “We’d never lie to you, swee--!” “DON’T EVEN!” A line. A fucking line. Big, red, clear as day and as visible as a white on black, and Katherine had waltzed right over it without a second thought. “Do NOT tell me you aren’t a liar!” Dawn was seething. “You.” She pointed her finger at the confused Amazon. “You do not get to tell me that…! You’re the biggest, fattest, cruelest liar I’ve EVER seen!” “Dawn...what are you talking about?” Dawn looked back up at the Amazon who was giving her some pitying look, like she always did, like whenever she seemed to be so disconnected from Dawn’s line of thought that it was unintelligible babbles from a toddler. “Just...just what kind of idiot do you think I am?” A low hanging fruit for an Amazon when they saw a troubled Little. “You’re not an idiot! Don’t say that!” “HEATHER!” Katherine didn’t respond, not readily. She blinked, confused. Of course. She had already forgotten. After all, Heather never mattered to her to begin with. “Heather…? What about--” “See?!” Dawn laughed, the writing on the wall was far too obvious. “Heather! Remember? That Little from my tour group? The one you oh-so absolutely fell in love with? The one you wanted to adopt, right?” Do it. Take the bait. Try and pretend. She wanted more than anything for this ignorant Amazon to take the bait and dig her hole even deeper. But she didn’t. She didn’t say anything. Her face said many things, but not many sounds came from it. Yet her look was almost priceless. Stunned. Shocked. Finally, a victory. Dawn’s tone and anger said more than enough to the Amazon. There was a silent understanding. One knew that the other knew, and now that was known by both women. “D...” Yes! Her brows came together as she looked torn and tried. “Don’t be angry with James...please...” The muscles in her face spasmed. Not even an apology. Not a direct admission, either. Instantly, it was damage control for someone just as guilty. “Yeah, well James is on a different list for plenty of other things he’s done. You’re the worst. The absolute worst.” This must have been what euphoria felt like. True euphoria; the kind that could only ever come after hitting the most extreme low in your life. Let the pain and problems heighten the taste of sweet satisfaction once it did finally come. Katherine sniffled as she wiped a dry eye. “Y-yes… I wanted to adopt you… I wanted to give you a fun day...buy you nice clothes, take you out to lunch… I wanted you to have fun, and I wanted you to forget about all those scary feelings...!” As Katherine verged onto tears, it was so validating, so wonderful by how so little Dawn could feel any empathy. She’d finally stuck her with a knife and was enjoying every tiny twist of the blade. “Just so you’d feel better about yourself when you kidnapped me?” And justify her heinous, deplorable actions? “No!” Katherine stressed with heavy emotion. “No…! I...I wanted you to enjoy yourself. I wanted you to like us! I didn’t want any of this to happen to you!” Her eyes were finally starting to become glossy. Good. Dawn wanted her to feel what she felt, even if it was only a small fraction of it. “It hurts me…! It hurts me so much just from thinking about how hard it must be for you…! If I could, I would give anything to send you back home right this minute, Dawn, because I know how important it is to you. But I can’t…! I can’t do that because it’s not realistic…!” Reality. Nothing about anything she’d experienced in the past 48 hours felt even remotely close to reality. She wiped her eyes as she sniffled. “When James took you back to the hotel yesterday, I gave up. After seeing you so angry, I gave up on trying to ask you… We were never going to force you to stay with us… I know it hurts, and it feels like we betrayed you because we weren’t upfront, but I would never…! Please, Dawn, I want to be your shoulder to cry on!” She sniffled and wept. “I-I want you to tell me when you’re upset, or feeling sad... I don’t want to fight with you; I want to help you solve your problems…!” “And I want you to treat me like my actual age.” Dawn laid another one into her. She herself was still quite angry, but she’d become more quiet as the Amazon poured herself out. “I’m treating you the best way I know how; the best way that’s going to keep you safe.” Katherine gave her non-answer. “But Dawn...I know how much you want to go back, and I will do my best to help you get there...but...” But what. What exception could there possibly be? How could this woman who claimed to be some fucking saint contradict her “holy” mission? “Even with everything that’s happened...even if you hate me, and hate James, and hate everything about this place…! I still want you to stay with us!” Dawn didn’t have the heart. Or, she didn’t have the will; the emotion to fight such an impossible, ignorant view. “What your life was back in your dimension...” Katherine’s face scrunched as the thoughts of Dawn living her normal, ideal, preferred life was like poison in her veins. “You’re better here! It’s safer! I want to care for you more than anything; I want to keep you from all the things in life that make you upset, worried, sad, afraid, and scared. I only want to make you smile, laugh, and happy…!” She sobbed the more she pleaded, and Dawn felt herself crack the more she stared down the oxymorons thrown at her like baseballs straight into her gut. The thing that caused her the most pain only wished to give her pleasure. The irony could write itself. “And...and what…? You just think that I’d want that? That I’d want to be some stupid, mindless baby for you and your husband for the rest of my life? Like my dreams, aspirations and wishes don’t matter?” “They do matter!” Katherine cried. “They do…! But...seeing you cry so much...get so angry...so stressed… Do you know how that makes me feel? Just thinking about leaving you all alone and letting you go on your own?” “That’s not your place to say anything! Don’t force whatever fantasy you have on me!” “I want you more than anything, Dawn, and nothing is going to change that.” Katherine said with more tears, but there was a chilling amount of resolve with her words. “You...you think so much that you need to put on a big, strong act, but I just want you to stop it already…! I want you to stop trying to tackle all those big emotions on your own, I hate seeing you work yourself up!” “STOP IT!” Dawn growled. “Stop talking about me like I’m some kid that can’t handle their own emotions! I can, and I’ve been handling it for almost my ENTIRE LIFE!” “I can’t…!” Katherine rubbed her eyes. “I can’t do that… You mean too much to me to let you do this to yourself. I love you, Dawn, you’re too, too precious to be left alone!” “Are you listening to yourself?! We’ve known each other for LESS THAN TWO DAYS!” Yet the madness only continued to spiral as Katherine solemnly shook her head. “It doesn’t matter...” She sniffled as she dried her tears. “As soon as I saw you, the second you bumped into the Little in front of you and you fell on your bottom… When you were asleep and so peaceful in my arms...” Yet as Dawn interpreted it, when she was drugged into a sleep and completely vulnerable. “I...I know it’s hard to understand, Dawn, but when I saw you and held you in my arms…I decided I would bear with anything; the tantrums, the tears, the naughtiness, as long as it meant you’d still be with me and James. I never thought about what I did as lying to you...I just didn’t want to scare you after just meeting each other. “Right...” Dawn scoffed beyond her sheer disbelief. “Because after 24 hours we’re somehow intimate...” This couldn’t be real. It was a whole new level of strangeness. It seemed that Amazons had cravings, like sweet a tooth. Dawn had deduced that much, at least. Amazons ogled Littles here like discount chocolate offered as free samples. That was one thing. Katherine seemed to be the same foundation, only branching in her own twisted way. She was like a baby duckling imprinting on its mother, except the roles were reversed and it was the mommy imprinting on the baby (but not actually a baby). Unbelievable. Was it right to even call her emotions fickle? For Dawn’s own sanity, she wouldn’t even humor the idea in her head as [BLANK] at first sight. Definitely not. No fucking way. The worst of it all was zero apologies. True to her word, Katherine had no shred of remorse or regret in her eyes. As emotional as she was, her decision came off as rock solid. She was an overbearing, emotional tyrant that put her needs before Dawn’s under the sickly guise of supposed selflessness. Doing this for Dawn’s sake. Doing that. Her eyes widened once the Amazon sat on her knees, opening up her arms. “Do you think we could make up…?” “Y-you...you tried to kidnap me.” Hearing herself say that gave the poor girl a double take. Maybe there was some merit to that Amazon’s LPS complaint... Katherine did flinch at the sound of the word, but she simply shook her head. “We never did and never will. We were taking you out for the day. ” Ah, yes, of course, Dawn’s mistake. Taking her where she didn’t want to go, and only stopping once Dawn was finally kicking, screaming and tearing them apart with her words did they finally listen. It wasn’t a faithful gesture. They were just terrible kidnappers. And at the end of the day, this song and dance was far too overused. Whatever good intentions there might actually be, they’d long since been buried and sullied by their actions thus far. The only idiot and ignorant fool was Dawn for thinking anything might change. “No. I don’t want to make up. I want to go home. Tell yourself whatever you want, I don’t care.” She noticed the slight twitch in Katherine’s open arms, dropping just slightly to the sound of Dawn’s outright and unremorsefully harsh rejection. Dawn had been through her own spiral of emotions so much, she finally reached a place in her mind where she could just say how it was. No need to yell, scream, or cry. Simply speak her mind. “You and James aren’t going to let me leave. You’re kidnapping me. You’re holding me here against my will. But that’s whatever I guess. You’ve made it clear that you really don’t care what I think, whatever you say to make yourself feel better and think otherwise.” She had half a mind to compliment the woman just for letting her talk. But deep down, even Dawn suspected the silence came from all the blows she was dealing to the woman. If the Amazon truly cared about her, surely she was feeling the pain from what it felt like to be absolutely despised by someone you have feelings for. “I guess I’m done trying to appeal to you, Katherine. I’ve tried it with you and James. Time and time again, but it never changes. But it’s whatever, I guess.” An honest to goodness sigh of tiredness left her mouth. “I hate you.” It felt so good to say. “I hate you and James so much. I wish you two never saved me. I wish I was kidnapped by that other woman who was at least kinder than you two. She had the decency to not to pretend like my opinion mattered. At least I knew what I was getting with her.” Good. Tears. Now Katherine was crying. Maybe Dawn was starting to become a sadist, lest she start to drink the Amazon’s misfortune too. But Dawn outwardly sighed once more, like it was all some inevitable spat in the workplace. Something that simply needed to be endured and dealt with. “I’ll stay though. Not like I have a choice. But if you really do care about me. If anything about me actually matters to you? Please, stop telling yourself that what you’re doing is kind. You don’t have my best interest at heart. You only care about what you want and it’s been like that from the start. I can’t resist you if you decide to turn me into your doll, but I don’t want you acting like I made the decision for myself.” Katherine quietly listened, as much as she could through her tears and sniffling. It didn’t elicit an emotional response from Dawn though. “I’m gonna go wait in the living room now, assuming we’re still going out.” Naturally she did not want to go by any means, yet that much like everything else as of late was out of her hands. Without another thought, Dawn calmly walked across the kitchen, right by the sobbing Amazon. “Oh, and Katherine?” Dawn’s head still hung by the doorway. “Truly, deep down in my heart: fuck you.” Did you enjoy the chapter? Want to read more? Good news! You can read Chapter 13 NOW and early on my PATREON! Find the full commissioned story also taking place in the diaper dimension, "Freedom at Last" that builds off the continuity of some of my other DD shorts! Find advance chapters of Sheltered on there as well, and more! Over time my Patreon content will continue to grow, but it will eventually trickle out here in the public space. But that's enough out of me! Also, want your own Diaper Dimension story? Consider commissioning me!

Wait, crap. Am I forgetting my own characters? Right? Don't give me brain cramps with your brain cramps. Wouldn't that be the dream! Conditioning Emily to be desensitized to wearing and wearing around other people. Responsibly, of course! Thank ya ever so kindly for being a fan! So glad you liked it! Obviously I can always improve, but sometimes I can just get so bogged down in the process that I tend to second-guess myself a lot on my writings, and sometimes I think that it can suffer. Bearing that all in mind, Sheltered has been an absolute journey for my writing skills and continues to be. Because Sheltered is always something in tandem with the rest of my shorter/not as long stories it's the one that can consistently change in writing style as I make less mistakes/pick up different habits. While I also love the characters (and would 1000% want my very own Joyce), I'm extremely close to this story as a testament to how I've improved. There's likely a lot I would rephrase and re-write in the much earlier parts of this story, but I always want to keep some record of the original (which I don't even have copies of anymore, lol) just to see how I was as a writer from the start, and then by the finish. Hi there! Yes, you can! But...drum roll, If you'd like to read Illegal Immigrant's latest chapter sooner rather than later, you can find that on my Patreon! (⇀‸↼‶) I...have no idea what could be causing that... I really wish I could do something about it, but that's just the way Emily is...because...reasons... Joyce definitely has a track record of pushing limits probably farther than they should be bending, but the difference between those times and now is having the experience of those slip-ups prior and much more controlled circumstances (in this case). Another thing that I want to continue slowly turning the dial on is Joyce's own growth as a mommy. As far as we know, this is the first actual time or relationship that she's gotten where she gets to finally indulge in and answer those feelings she has to "mommy" someone else. While it's clear that the one out of their element the most is Emily, there have been points that make mention of Joyce sometimes second-guessing herself or mistakenly crossing a line and learning from it. It's typically Emily that gets the focus during a fall, but Joyce is trying to be the best mommy that she can be, and she's certainly getting there!

Thank you so much! I'm extremely glad that the first half been received well so far! Please stay tuned for a later public release of the second half!

The outfit has been mentioned, therefore it is canon, therefore it is a possible weapon in Joyce's unlimited arsenal of Mommy-ness! Quite frankly, I think all this cooped-up stuff going on with Emily is bound to make her antsy. She's been misbehaving an awful lot, lately... Also, who knows what Amy wants from her? Thanks for reading and commenting! Trauma is best taken in shifts. Or light doses. Hm. Something like that. Thanks for reading!

Thank you so much! It was definitely a new experience for me trying to play polar opposites off each other. I think (hope) that makes a bit more sense in the second part of the story. Thank you as well for becoming a patron! It means the world to me to have your support!

Ohhhh! I feel silly now. 38 - Fashionista “I’m not going.” Emily stood firm with her hands at her sides. Resolute. “Won’t go, or don’t want to go?” Joyce, sounding somewhat distraught, asked for the umpteenth time. In the span of just a couple hours they were having constant tug-of-wars like this. Emily furrowed her brow while she concentrated on the floor between Joyce’s feet, wiggling her lips as she herself failed to find the right words. Then with a small sigh, disappointed in herself, Emily groaned, “Don’t want to...” “Emily,” Joyce gave herself some dramatic pause to find the right words, “remember how I said that Amy’s been looking forward to this? About how much she wants to see you?” “Yes...” The stress in her voice could not have been more evident. Not caused by Joyce, but by the war within herself. “It’s always scary the first time, I know that. But you gotta remember Emily, it’s...not really much of a secret to Amy, anymore?” It barely was from the start. The moment they needed a medium to help them indulge was the same time they were forced to give Amy an indirect glimpse. “That’s...but that’s still different from her actually seeing it!” Why did she even entertain the idea last night? Why didn’t she just say no? Was it too late to back out? Joyce said it wasn’t, but it felt that way. Social pressures were making her feel that way. She could refuse, but it’d be heavily frowned upon… “That’s fair,” Joyce nodded, “you’re right, it is different. But so has every new and scary thing we’ve done before? She will not have anything mean to say, Emily. Remember? Amy wanted to do this! And it’s all private. Amy doesn’t talk about us to anyone, and the same goes for all her other clients. Trust me.” Trust was something that needed to go a terribly far way to make any of this work. Trust had been what brought them to this point, so in theory it made sense to continue to bet on it? “What...what if somebody walks in and sees?” “The store is closed today. It’s just gonna be you, me, and Amy.” “What...what if someone looks through a window?” “We’ll be in the dressing room or upstairs. The back room doesn’t have any windows, and the upstairs is off the ground floor.” Damn, there was always an answer, wasn’t there? Emily continued to fidget, having every point become null and void by crushing facts, but she felt hardly any more enlightened or less worried. “...Can...can she come here instead?” The words flew out of her mouth, but to Emily they didn’t feel like her own. An off the cuff sort of spew with no meaningful intent. It didn’t change anything. It didn’t eliminate the risk of being outed by someone else. Maybe all it changed was Emily getting to stay in her comfort space. Joyce was quiet for a second, honestly blindsighted by a sort of fair question. Amy had obviously never come to their home, but that was because they were mostly on a seamstress and commissioner type of relationship, though that seemed to have evolved a little. “Is that what you want? To see if Amy will come here?” Joyce calmly asked. Her patience was still plentiful and she wasn’t testing the girl, just seeking to confirm. Nervously, Emily nodded her head. “Is...is that okay?” “...Let me call Amy,” Joyce frowned, at herself and not Emily, “I...didn’t really think of that.” A few minutes later and Joyce was alone in their room with the phone to her ear. Just after some short buzzes and another voice was on the line. “Heyyy~!” Amy excitedly greeted, “Thought I’d be hearing from you soon! So? What’s up? Am I still expecting you two?” “Maybe,” Joyce sighed, “sort of… Emily is having nerves, so she’s still on the fence, but that’s better than how she felt about it the very first time. I don’t think I’m going to convince her to get out of the house today. So...if you’re fine with it, you can come here?” “Oh?” Amy’s reaction wasn’t expected, as far as Joyce was concerned. They’d known each other for some time, pre-dating Emily quite easily, but the idea of being friends was something still quite new to Joyce, and likely Amy herself. “I don’t mind, as long as you’re okay with it? Sorry,” she chuckled, “I guess I didn’t expect that, but I also guess Emily might be feeling a little nervous.” “I could see her heart beating out of her chest...” Joyce lamented. “You really don’t mind? It’s sort of a business related thing, so I feel kind of awkward asking.” “You’re using my personal number, aren’t you?” Amy butted in. “Joyce, I don’t go hunting down my clients just to see how they look in my clothes. Of course this is different...ish. Think of it as me gathering some more visual material in case you plan on having any more stuff made. So okay, how far away are you? Can you send me the address?” And with a brief exchange of details, Joyce bid her a temporary goodbye, now awaiting her friend to arrive. “Okay,” Joyce found Emily laying on the couch pensively, “she’ll be here in a few.” “She’s really coming?” Emily sat up, partly hoping it would be too strange of a request and they could have just kicked this can down the road a little bit further. “Yes, and because she’s coming now, there aren’t any more backsies on this,” Joyce firmly added, now realizing the beautiful upside. Emily wasn’t in any danger, which is why Joyce had no qualms about the girl painting herself into a corner. “...Okay.” “Hey,” Joyce’s voice edged on a warning the moment she saw it in Emily’s eyes. “No attitude. We compromised and got Amy to agree to come here. That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?” If Joyce was a betting kind of person, she’d have guessed Emily was trying to force a ridiculous standard, but wasn’t expecting to have her bluff called. Emily was quiet with her cheek against her shoulder, looking at the couch while she tried to come to terms with the new, suddenly worse development. “...Are you upset with me?” Joyce asked, standing beside the couch. “No...” Emily continued to look away, but her honesty was genuine. “I’m nervous. I’m scared.” And all the talking in the world felt like it wasn’t going to convince her, hence Joyce’s own apprehension. “Do you want a bath before she comes? Just some time to relax?” “I wanna shower...” Emily decided right then. Maybe it was her subconscious trying to do something adult-like before she had to go back into childish clothes, like it’d have some kind of residual effect that could lessen the sensory impact of onesies and footie pajamas. “Okay,” Joyce nodded, no offense taken. “I’ll check on you in a little bit when we should probably get you changed and dressed in the nursery.” Emily wasn’t feeling for words, mumbling something akin to a nod before heading off to the bathroom. With nothing left to do but wait, Joyce wandered into her office, opting to kill time in her own way. “P-please…!” Emily begged, practically on the verge of tears. “Don’t make me! I...I’m gonna be sick. Please, make her come back another day! I promise! Next weekend!” “And I promise,” Joyce leaned over Emily, strapped onto the changing table, kissing her on the lips, “you’re going to be fine.” Her voice was rock-steady and completely unphased by the girl entering hysterics. Emily continued to breathe quickly and sniffle quite often as the denim hem of her dress was pulled up and so was the flap of her onesie to make room for her padded underwear. Thank goodness for the strap, otherwise Emily would have been running. If she had any control she would be doing her damndest to put a stop to this. The diaper was soft, the powder smelled nice, but any kind of comforts those feelings may have given in the past were nonexistent now. Vastly overshadowed by an impending doom, Emily wanted more than nothing just to hide. “Do you want your pacifier?” Joyce asked an honest question, not to tease. “Nnn...no...” She couldn’t keep her eyes straight, constantly shifting where she looked. A pacifier was too dangerous, obviously. She wouldn’t be caught dead with one in front of Amy. Not in front of anyone but Joyce, and that’s only if she made her use one! “Then here’s Pip,” Joyce set the stuffed animal on her stomach, making her look all sorts of conflicted. “No...I don’t want this either…! I don’t want Amy to see! Please, Joyce! Please!” “Emily...” Joyce was finding it hard to hide her own troubled look. She knew this was going to work out. She just did, but of course Emily couldn’t see that. She was far too blinded by her own anxieties and worries. After all, she was the one putting herself most on the line here? “It’s like a bandage, okay? Once we rip it off, you’re gonna feel silly for worrying like this in the first place, okay? Deep breaths, sweetheart.” And so Emily tried the breathing exercises, maybe just barely passing. And despite her protests, she was currently squeezing the dear inanimate life out of Pip. And then it came. A distant ring, like the sound of a horn before the impending stampede; the call to battle. Emily stretched her head and looked behind at the door, as did Joyce. Her phone was ringing. Who could it be? Only one specific person in mind was Emily’s terrified guess. A click of the buckle’s release let Emily off the table while Joyce excused herself to answer the phone. “Hello? Amy?” “Mhm. This is she! I’m in the lobby, I think. Did you tell the people here that I was coming? Can I just take the elevator up?” “Yep and yes. Go on ahead. Just ring the doorbell once you’re here. See you soon.” After hanging up, Joyce peered around the apartment, winding back up in the nursery. “Emily...” Joyce stared down at the large stuffed bear in the corner, looking a bit farther out from the walls than it usually did. “Please...I don’t feel good!” Emily begged from behind the giant bear. “I wanna throw up!” “Then let’s take you to the toilet, okay?” Joyce beckoned with a hand. She couldn’t see any other way of handling this than by just brushing off her childish delays. “I’m...I’m staying here...” Emily frowned in her fetal position. “Here?” Joyce questioned. “So you’re fine with Amy seeing the nursery?” “No!” Emily shouted back, caught in her own words being twisted right back at her. “You...you know what I mean!” she rubbed her eye while the other hand grabbed as hard as it could onto the stuffed bear. “I do know what you mean,” Joyce kneeled in front of Emily and the bear between them, “and I’m trying to show you that you’re blowing this out of proportion.” “But she’s gonna see me like this…! She’s gonna see how you treat me like a baby!” “I don’t have to treat you like that? Not while she’s here?” Joyce tried to reason. “You’re just Emily, my sweet and beautiful girlfriend. What you’ve always been, and what you’re still going to be today. Can we please come out of the nursery now? I’m not trying to embarrass you. I want to keep the same secrets that you do, but all I’m trying to say is that Amy already knows about some of this...” Emily in tears followed her by the hand out of the nursery, dearly clutching Pip as well. “It’s making noise...” Emily sniffled, referring to her diaper. “It’s always made noise.” Joyce soothed her as she locked the nursery door. And while Emily self-consciously looked at her butt over her shoulder, she jumped with a startle when the doorbell rang. “Okay, Em, it’s gonna be fine, alright--” Joyce was assuring her, but fell flat when Emily was nowhere to be seen. With a sigh she walked to the door all on her own. “We’ll find you in a minute!” she called out to the rest of the apartment where a wild Emily lurked somewhere. Amy was all smiles when Joyce opened the door. Wearing modestly expensive, yet somehow casual street clothes, she had a large canvas bag slung over her shoulder, looking absentminded for only just a second before she paid Joyce any attention. “Hey there!” Amy grinned, greeting the host first despite being the guest. “Hey Amy,” Joyce smiled back, “glad you could come! Sorry about the last minute shift...” She shrugged it off with a wave. “I was expecting worse; this is completely fine with me. I’m too excited to care!” A giddy look ran over her face. “Where’s Emily? Is she getting dressed?” Now Joyce’s look faltered a bit, glancing over her shoulder. “W-well… She’s a bit nervous right now. I may have lost her...” “Lost her?” Amy raised her brows. “Should...should I leave?” “No,” Joyce came right back with a knee-jerk response. “You’ve waited long enough, and truthfully, Emily needs to learn how to get out of her own way… And please,” she lowered her voice, “please no teasing? I know you’d never make fun of her, but she’s...sensitive right now.” Understandably, though. “Cross my heart,” Amy dutifully nodded, looking no less deterred and still just as excited. “So is she hiding?” “Definitely,” Joyce stared at the hallway like there was an imaginary trail of breadcrumbs. “I think we should give her another minute though… Do you want some coffee?” “Sounds great,” Amy smiled, taking her first step inside. “I can’t believe this is the kind of building you live in, by the way… Well, no, I can believe it, but I’m just...wow. Jealous, I guess.” “Thank you, I think,” Joyce laughed a little, pointing to where Amy’s shoes could go. “It’s convenient,” if not outright lavish and luxurious, “and keeps me close to my work.” “Oh yeah? Are you the type with multiple homes?” Amy followed Joyce into the kitchen, but of course her head tried to see into the living room the entire short trip the other way. “Can’t say that I am. No reason for it yet,” Joyce casually shrugged. “Besides, I bet you make a killing yourself. I’d imagine you have a vacation home or something?” “Hardly,” Amy scoffed, doused in a splash of cold water, reminding her of the difference between her own standing and Joyce’s. “Yeah, I can manage a vacation wherever I want out of the year, but I can’t hold on to properties like poker chips!” she laughed. “Who knows, maybe Emily could find me--Ooh, wait, shit--my bad.” she quickly backpedaled her voice with a look of guilt. “It’s fine,” Joyce calmly waved it off. “We’re doing fine. It’s a little bit of an adjustment for her, but Emily’s doing well.” For the most part, given that she was hiding at the moment out of fear of embarrassment. While Joyce brewed some brew, Amy casually walked throughout the spacious kitchen, finally coming over to the fridge. “Awh, who’s the artist?” Joyce turned her head and saw the drawing on the fridge. Carefully torn from a coloring book was a black print outlined drawing of chirping birds in a nest atop a tree overlooking a river and mountain. A simplified cartoon drawing. The birds were a mismatch of colors, the rivers were anything but blue, and the leaves had transcended somehow beyond the red, orange, and yellow of a leaf’s typical “outrage” season. “Oh, that? That’s something my friend’s niece did for me a while back,” Joyce shrugged, spinning the lie without skipping a beat, somehow still fresh in her mind from the day Emily colored it. “Oh that’s cute,” Amy remarked, leaning in a bit closer. She turned her head over at Joyce and said, “There’s an ‘E’ on it, too?” She grinned and the inner parts of Joyce’s lips started to fold. “Mhm. Funny coincidence. I like to tease Emily about it being a drawing she made for me,” she rolled with the punches and tried to take the meta route. “Yeah?” Amy laughed and stood back up away from the fridge, happily accepting a warm mug. After a sip with both hands she asked, “So can I use that against her, too?” “Uh-mmm...” Joyce lightly coughed from the stutter she’d been given mid-sip. “It’s sort of an inside joke...” In very, very recent retrospect, Amy was probably the last person to try and fool. There was far too much chemistry between them added with a handful of writing on the wall that told enough of a story to the point where coincidences couldn’t just be coincidences. Amy knew, and Joyce knew she knew. “Don’t say anything about it...” Joyce mouthed a whisper. And with a pair of fingers to her lips, Amy zipped them shut. Nothing more needed to be said and the topic came to a close. Joyce looked down at the coffee maker with a distant expression before snapping back to the present. “Alright,” she sighed, having prepared enough and stalled for far too long, “I’m gonna go wrangle her out now. She’s had plenty of time.” “Look at you!” Amy smirked, “No nonsense kind of partner, huh?” “Just a very loving one,” Joyce spoke true to her heart. “You can come wait in the living room while I go get her.” Amy followed Joyce as far as the couch, another room with an amazing view to leave the woman starstruck and distracted enough for Joyce to quietly excuse herself down the hall. It was sort of a guessing game as to where Emily might be, but it didn’t feel like much of a game when the first place she looked was the correct guess. Like a two-year old caught under the slide, Joyce could see the spot of black hair peeking from the other side of the bed. “Ready to come out?” Joyce sat by the corner of the bed, looking at Emily sat on the floor, clutching Pip. “No...” She sorely responded. The thought of exposing herself like this was heart-wrenching. It made her so uncomfortable, so raw and exposed. All those feelings weren’t anything new; it was the same sensations she felt when she was like this with Joyce, except they were good feelings. Now it was all like poison. “No?” Joyce rhythmically stroked the top of Emily’s head. “If you really didn’t want to do this, why didn’t you just take the clothes off...or use our phrase?” And then came the helpless gesture; a shrug of the shoulders. “I think it’s because you’re my good girl. My special, pretty, adorable little girl.” With a little bit of cooperation, she lifted Emily back onto the side of the bed. “Amy worked so hard to make you even more adorable and help us both bond even more than we already have. She’s honestly helped me and you in a few different ways… You’re my absolute treasure, Emily, and I’m very picky about sharing,” she gave her a playfully stern look. “But I want to share this with Amy because I want her to know how appreciative we are. I want her to see how amazing you look.” “I’m...I’m scared...” Emily quietly spoke. The anxiety was killing her, imagining just how Amy might react. She wasn’t going to see what Joyce saw. She’d see a grown adult in children’s clothes, half-assing some kind of fantasy that hardly translated to an outsider. “And that’s completely natural,” Joyce touched her forehead with her own. “But the only way you can stop being afraid is by ripping off the bandage, sweetheart. Can I hold your hand?” Despite being the one who was asked for consent, Emily answered by initiating herself. “Let’s walk out together, okay? You’re going to feel one-million times better the second you do. I promise.” “What if I don’t…?” “Then we send Amy home,” Joyce said as simply as that. “Then, I will spend the rest of today and even tomorrow pampering you and spoiling you until all those bad feelings go away. But I’m not going to do that because it’s not going to happen,” she made doubly sure to get a look at Emily’s eyes. “Now what do you say?” Everything was always a downward spiral, funneling into a single point of convergence and an absolute inevitability. Amy was going to know. She knew enough already. That is what ran through Emily’s terrified mind. There wasn’t much left to see, yet that small bit felt even more sacred and top secret than the rest. Words were words and rumors were fickle, but seeing was believing and oh-so tangible, just like the denim skirt her knuckle was anxiously kneading itself into. It was almost like learning how to walk again the moment she stood. Shaky legs like a newborn fawn, her caregiver was right beside her to fill the role of a physical and emotional crutch. Nervousness was a part of life. Fear, apprehension, worry and panic were simply par for the course. Everyone goes through stress and faces difficult decisions and moments in their life, and Emily was going through nothing different, except she’d truly reached a new peak of terror. Her first day of school, being scolded by her teacher, speaking in front of a crowd, her first job interview… Maybe it was the heat of the moment, or maybe it was simply the fact that this moment was the most emotionally tiring and stressful thing she’d ever had to deal with. Her emotions were gaslit like wind chill making the temperature feel absolutely so much colder. By the time they were out in the hall she was a quivering mess with Joyce’s hand practically behind her back by the way Emily crawled behind. She was going to die. It was social suicide. The moment she showed herself, it’d all be over. Joyce was insane. She was crazy. There wasn’t anything rational about this! They can’t show Amy, no matter how much she’s seen already! It didn’t matter! It wasn’t right! No, no. Emily knew. She couldn’t do this. Absolutely not. There was still a chance. A chance to turn around and run back to the room, beg while kicking, screaming and crying for Joyce to send Amy home. Her eyes were focusing lasers on Joyce’s back, the fear was so paralyzing her peripheral vision was shutting down. “J-...Joy...Jo--” A mind-numbing jolt of static ran through her body the moment Amy’s gasp reached her ears. The shock fried her nerves and her muscles twitched. Her legs didn’t work and she was locked in place. What she could manage was grabbing the back of Joyce’s sweater with both hands. She didn’t care how it looked because her mind was far too haywire to even care about that anymore. She just wanted to hide. Joyce’s hips were wide, but not wide enough to hide the spread of her denim skirt, courtesy of the woman she was so desperately trying to conceal it from. The window to leave was gone. Over. It was finished. And then there was betrayal. Her rock. Her lifeline, the one she’d surrendered everything to. She took one step, and then another. Emily couldn’t move her feet, so the moment Joyce shifted Emily stumbled with an incoherent whimper. Everything was so hot, her face was a million degrees. The TV dramas in her mind surrounded her, laughing like a chorus of hyenas, ridiculing her for barely heeding the vast “warnings” they showed with every single stereotype of trusting the dear friend, believing in your closest loved ones just to find a knife in your back. All she needed was some kind of garnish and she would have made the perfect meal for the encroaching predator. Amy was up from the couch with a wide-eyed expression as Emily’s panic only intensified. Her hands trembled and the worry was all over her face, yet either Amy didn’t notice or in Emily’s biased mind, she was enjoying it all the more just to see the poor victim squirm. “Ho…--” Amy started to speak, yet she’d continually pause to chuckle, raining down on Emily like damaging blows, making her flinch with each reaction. “H-holy shit…!” Emily tried screaming for Joyce, fearing for her very life. Amy was a bully. A cruel, ruthless person who was about to make a mockery of her. But the air left her lungs as her nervous breathing robbed her of the ability to cry for help and her head was frozen like her feet. Amy tensed her shoulders and covered her mouth, frantically looking straight at Emily with wide eyes, then briefly glancing back at Joyce as if she were watching a sport. Emily wanted nothing more than for it all to stop. She truly did want to disappear. Joyce was wrong, this wasn’t going at all how she said it would. Hiccuping, tears rolled down her cheeks once her mind stopped choking up long enough for her to process more negative emotions. The moment she did start to cry though, the absolute glee on Amy’s face stopped on a dime as utter horror overcame her. And finally, after a few moments stretched out into a millennia by sheer anxiety and embarrassment, time started pacing like it should. “Oh! Oh my gosh! No! No! Emily!” Amy shouted with a desperate voice and stumbled Emily forward into her arms. Joyce continued to watch a few steps back, expecting something like this, but being no less surprised. Over Emily’s shoulder Amy could not seem to wash away whatever cocktail of rapidfire excitement was running through her veins. “You look so good! Holy shit…!” Amy couldn’t stop her rambling and even looked over at Joyce, gleefully shouting with utmost disbelief, “I made these! I made these clothes! Oh god! Hahaha!” The way she spoke to her creation only interfered with the way she tried to hug the sobbing Emily, prioritizing her own efforts on one front, yet trying to console Emily on the other. Why was Emily being hugged? She didn’t know why. Bullies didn’t hug their prey. It was contradictory. Picking on someone wasn’t the same as comforting them. Maybe she was going to fling her? Had the conflict already escalated to physical abuse? Maybe Amy was that sort of bully. Amy kept hugging her, endlessly spewing off one-line comments either to herself or the room for all, drowning in her artists’ high, lost to a plane of creativity neither women in attendance could hope to interpret. Only for brief moments would she ever break free from her own euphoric trance to say something intended to be comforting for Emily, or a half-baked statement for Joyce. By all accounts, it was Amy who had been fried. “Okay...” Joyce stepped in with a smile, “I think she wants me.” She slipped her hands tactfully between Amy’s arms and Emily, releasing her with ease into a new set of hands. The touch was familiar almost instantly, and Emily, the well-trained pet that she was, recognized her owner’s scent. The feeling came back in her legs and the adrenaline inspired her to spin around and crash forward into Joyce. “I’ve got you...I’ve got you...” her soothing voice continued to play on repeat. Amy stood there with a long-lasting look of fidgety ecstaticism, like electricity was firing from her fingertips. Like it was just them and in their own bubble, Joyce soothingly suggested, “Why don’t we go sit down, huh?” And a quiet look over Emily’s head suggested the same to Amy, who was more than happy to oblige. Every kind of defense mechanism was screaming, blaring alarms and flashing red lights. She was moments away from self-destruction or complete shut down, and it only grew worse when even the blanket they usually kept on the couch was nowhere to be found. It was impossible to ignore. Inconceivable to think otherwise. Emily stared at her legs and the floor, willing to believe that somehow magi-fied Amy out of existence. But she knew it didn’t. She knew none of it worked when the sounds Amy made and the presence of her drilling stare shattered all those illusions of pure fantasy. Amy, meanwhile, continued to make an endless array of facial expressions, animating her hands like her life depended on it. She was over the moon, quite clearly, continuing to snuff any of the concerns she may have had about Emily’s own feelings. “Oh my God...” Her head couldn’t stop turning and treated Joyce like her prized confidant, someone else to share in the absolute glory. Joyce had already had her fun under the sun with this once and even now it didn’t make Emily any less adorable to her, but even Amy seemed to be pushing the shock factor to new limits. “I-Ah...ahm...I-hm...I’m sorry…!” Emily finally blurted. “Ihm sorry! Ihm sorry!” Finally it was the outlandish words that convinced Amy’s mind to write something other than ecstatic on her face. “W--what? You’re sorry?” Quickly, she looked to the Emily whisperer for interpretation. “Wh...what are you sorry about, Emily?” A bit dusty on her studies in adult child-rearing, the scholar chose to refresh herself on the spot. “No one’s upset with you?” “I...I look weird! This...this is wrong!” she sobbed, pinching the fabric on Joyce’s sleeve. “Please…! Please let me change! I don’t wanna do this anymore…!” “No, please don’t!” Amy nearly gasped at the gunshot of a plea. “Emily…!” The snuggled duo suddenly became a trio the moment Amy slid right next to her other side. “This...this is so perfect! You look amazing!” It didn’t matter what words of encouragement there were. Emily could hardly see it that way. She was embarrassed. Mortified. She wanted to be dignified, dressed maturely. This was for Joyce and no one else. Where was the undo button? How could she rewind this mistake? “Emily?” What if she just stopped breathing? Or pretended to fall asleep? Maybe Amy could be convinced to go home if she tried that. “Emily…?” Or...or if she locked herself in the bedroom. Or the bathroom. Hold herself hostage until Amy left. What if she left herself? No, bad idea...baby clothes and all… “Emily!” Startled and teary, Emily jumped from the raise in volume of a voice right next to her. Joyce had won her attention, maybe if only for a brief moment. “You do not look weird and this isn’t wrong. You’ve heard it yourself, haven’t you? Amy thinks you look great!” “Adorable,” Amy, a devil for the details as much as a fuss for every improper stitch, corrected, “actually.” Rolling her eyes with a grin, Joyce hoped some of it might be infectious for the overwhelmed girl. “See? Amy would never tease you, especially because there’s nothing to tease about.” “But...” Words were words, and feelings could cut much deeper than just sounds, but the reverse could also be true in some cases… Emily’s irrational logic was failing her and that only continued to make things feel less and less stable. “And for as long as Amy’s here today, you’re going to stay dressed like this.” Right then, words nearly did kill. Had the look in Emily’s eyes and the noise from her mouth been testimony, Joyce would have been charged for murder. And just as her conscience was fading and she really was about to sink inside of herself, Joyce simply would not let go of the reins. “Hey, look at me?” Joyce reached into her metaphorical bag of assertive tricks and steered Emily by the chin to look back up at her. “You’re sitting here right now, aren’t you? The world isn’t ending, you’re still loved, and you’re in front of two people right now that think you look absolutely amazing.” Emily’s lips tensed up as they struggled to decide what they wanted to do. Quiver, speak, or just stay put. And if there wasn’t enough baggage already, “And Emily, also remember that you can always blame me? I’m the reason you’re dressed like this, aren’t I? So if you want to be mad, be mad at me. It’s okay, I can handle it.” She laughed at her own self-sacrifice, but Emily didn’t laugh back. The troubled look never left her face, but she wasn’t making desperate noises anymore. No more desperate pleas. She was uncomfortable and nervous. But...she wasn’t dying. It wasn’t quite the end of the world. Just potentially the onset of it. Nevertheless, there was one less degree of imminent danger, as exposed as she literally was and felt. “Emily?” It wasn’t Joyce’s voice, and that meant to pay it respectful attention, Emily would have to look them in the eyes. Quite hesitantly, Emily looked up at Amy. “Can I just say how happy I am that you’re wearing this?” At some point, the skirt of Emily’s denim dress was between Amy’s fingers. “I’ve never had the chance to make stuff like this before, and you should have seen what Joyce was like when I first showed these to her! Weren’t you bouncing off the walls?” She laughed at Joyce’s expense. “M...Maybe a little...” With a sudden shift in spotlight, Joyce averted her eyes a small bit, but she was smiling. “Emily, I just want you to know that I think you look amazing dressed like this and how much it means to me that you’re willing to show me how it looks.” And the entire time she spoke, her eyes continued to shift up and down, emotionally overwhelmed herself by the absolutely surreal reveal. To Amy, it was stupefyingly amazing just how much a person in already-amazing clothes could magnify the wow-ness of it! And finally, just by a tiny bit, Emily’s mouth was tugged by the corners, even if only a little. Then the front of her denim dress was nonchalantly flipped up. “Oh my gosh! That’s right! I thought we made a onesie for this one!” Suddenly smiles were quivering frowns. “A--AMY!!” “So it’s comfy when you move around? They feel like clothes-clothes, right? Not like costume clothes?” “I...I guess...yeah...” The blush never left her cheeks since Amy’s arrival, but Emily was finally open to limited conversation as she “walked”, but more honestly shuffled across the floor for Amy. It was like wearing these for the first time all over again with how Joyce asked similar questions, only now there was a whole new level of scrutiny. “Is this your sketchbook?” Joyce couldn’t help but peer into the large object already half-outside the large canvas bag that Amy brought. “One of them,” Amy answered without turning her attention, “ever since you put me down this rabbit hole, frankly I’ve had to separate some of the idea streams just to keep it from getting jumbled.” “So what you’re saying is...the one you brought today has to do with stuff related to...this?” Her curiosity couldn’t have been killed even if it were nuked. With a probing and mischievous finger, Joyce was already dying just to “accidentally” flip the front cover open. “Hm?” Now she finally looked back over her shoulder, sitting front and forward just to watch the embarrassed model in diapers walk the line. Suddenly Joyce’s hands were back at her sides, one busying itself with a warm mug of coffee. “Yes, it is.” And quite defensively she pulled the canvas bag far and away from snooping peeks. “Which you can see when I decide to show it to you.” Now Joyce was frowning. Playfully. But a frown nonetheless. “Boring.” She miffed. “Has she played in this outfit yet?” She looked back over at Emily, looking busy with the way she awkwardly drilled her toe into the floor, desperately hoping to be allowed to sit back down. “Uhm...well, sort of.” Joyce half-shrugged. Now the idea of “play” wasn’t feeling so universal. They hadn’t exactly done much that could be considered physically engaging… There wasn’t a place with privacy for it. “We haven’t done anything outside the house, if that’s what you’re asking.” Amy nodded. “Well if you ever do, let me know how it goes. Obviously it makes her adorable,” and with her tone of voice it was like she was studying objectively despite such emotionally-charged words, “but it’d be ideal to make sure that it’s functional.” “It has been so far, but it’s not like we can just go to the park like this...” Maybe in her dreams, but dreams were just that. Then again, many dreams were coming to life as of late… “N-no...” Emily quietly whimpered. “Please...” “Nope, don’t worry.” Joyce liked to tease, but only when it was appropriate. “You won’t be dressed like this in front of strangers.” An important part out of respect above all else for Emily, but also others who had no business with this, nor should they be forced to. As for Amy… Joyce quietly watched her for a few minutes. She was harder to tell just what all of this enticed her. The clothes, obviously, but to what degree and just how much of that bridged into other aspects? “Emily? Hon?” Amy started, casually using the pet name, “Could you just try turning around and touching your toes for me?” “Uhm...o...okay...” Clueless and none the wiser, Emily did so, stretching as best as she could. Joyce was confused as well, but the spectator sport spoke for itself from the bleachers. She watched as the denim skirt of the dress started to ride up, not fully exposing what was underneath, yet just started to tease it. And from the corner of her eye she watched Amy dutifully scribble some notes. “Okay, thank you!” “What was that for…?” “Just making sure none of the fabric stretches funny…” Amy continued to write, and Emily, as innocent as she was right then, was too self-conscious to notice the tiny wink from Amy that Joyce did in fact see, which was meant for her. One lover of adorable clothing to another. Amy was good. Too good, and Joyce was trying to compose herself, lest Emily get any more nervous from the things she didn’t understand, nor would she be allowed to know. “Okay, good. This is good. Really good.” Amy nodded affirmatively. “What about her sleepers? How have they been doing?” “Oh...uhm...I don’t think we have tried them yet, come to think of it.” And also come to think of it, she’d only put Emily down in her crib for a nap only a few times. She still had yet to make Emily spend the night in it. The only problem though was that meant being without her cuddlebug a whole night herself… “Mind if we give them a try now?” “Emily, hon? You okay with that?” Joyce asked Emily, who was still standing at the front of the room nervously, specifically because no one had told her it was fine to leave yet. “I...I guess...” By this point, things were already quite exposed in Emily’s eyes, so what difference did it make if her embarrassment was colored in pink or blue. “Let's excuse ourselves for a little wardrobe change, then~” Joyce hummed with her stride as she took Emily by the hand and down the hall. “We’ll be just a second Amy. No peeking!” They walked right by the nursery this time and into the bedroom. “You moved them out in advance?” Emily asked from the bed. “I didn’t want to risk opening up your nursery while she was here,” Joyce explained as she pulled out two different pajama sets from underneath a pair of normal looking jeans. “Unless you would have wanted Amy to see?” “No...that’s okay...” “You definitely seem a lot less nervous, you know?” A lot less, sure, but it was a relative term, and didn’t do away with her nervousness altogether. “I...I dunno… She’s already seen me now, so...” And need she be reminded, but her denim skirt was flipped up and three loud pops from her crotch later, she was looking at her own diaper. “But I don’t like wearing a diaper around her...” “Sorry, Em, but diapers are part of the whole process. And I doubt Amy minds those either, because it’s half of what makes the clothes fit so well, you know?” She added a kiss as a bonus, just to keep her soldier strong. “Does...does doing this stuff make me weird?” “It would be weird if we didn’t have our special things that make us feel so good…” Off the outfit came. “Everyone has things that they like, Emily, and just because others might not or may not understand it, that doesn’t make this stuff any less valid.” Thankfully Emily wasn’t a kicker when she didn’t want to be, as Joyce fed her feet into the sleeper without a struggle. “This does make you feel good, right?” Because it sure did for Joyce. “Y...you know that, already...” Something that was at this point embarrassing to admit. Their justifications started in different places, but they always ended in the same spot. A decent stretch of time had gone by, and it was filled with plenty of stretching from Emily. Awkward poses, rotating her arms, legs, going as far as crawling (which could only be coaxed out of her after much easier instructions to digest). It’d become an extensive R&D session for Amy and Emily had become the poor puppet, whilst Joyce played the part of conversationalist for both sides, keeping Emily out of her own head as best as she could and continuing to chat with Amy. “Like this…?” Emily mumbled with her face away and back towards the two women, splaying her legs in a sitting ‘W” position. She was in her second set of pajamas, which essentially felt identical to her, but as Amy put it, “Function is only half of fashion!” And while Amy scribbled away; sketches and notes like a raging storm of overflowing consciousness onto paper, Emily finally turned partly over her shoulder. “...Joyce?” All it took was her tone of voice and Joyce was on her feet and over. “What’s up?” she asked with a hand on her shoulder. “Did I mention how well you’re doing, by the way?” “Thanks...” Emily scratched her head a little. It wasn’t itchy though. “You can whisper in my ear, you know?” Joyce offered it up with a patient smile. Whether it was legitimate focus or mindful politeness, Amy was temporarily lost in her own sketchbook. Cupping her hands over her mouth, like sharing a secret at recess, Emily shared with a nervous whisper, “I...I need to use the bathroom...” “Amy?” Joyce exaggeratedly sighed at the woman on the couch. “Can’t we give her a break? I think by now Emily’s feeling a bit exhausted...did you get enough of what you need?” “Oh?” she looked up from her sketchbook, but still wasn’t quite following. “Oh! Sure! Yeah, no, this is plenty. Thanks for being my model today, Ems! You can get changed, if you want,” she waved her off like it was her own studio. “Or don’t? You look cute, too?” “And that’s that,” Joyce beamed at the flustered girl. “Can you stand?” Without waiting for an answer, she chanted, “and...one...two...three!” Hands in hands, Joyce bounced on the balls of her feet before finally rocketing into the air, standing her legs upright and so the same with Emily’s. Behind closed doors, Emily wasn’t expecting Joyce to also be behind said door when they went into the bathroom. “What? Don’t give me that look,” Joyce lightly chastised as she worked the zipper lining Emily’s back. “These were made to need a little help in getting them off,” just as quickly she spun back around as Emily’s pajamas hung from her knees, “and even if Amy is here, I’m still the one in charge of your diapers, got it?” “I do get it...” Emily blushed all the way through her compliance, looking one way, then shooting her head right in the other direction the moment she was staring into the mirror. “C-can we turn on the sink or something? Just so--” She was interrupted by a loud tearing adhesive sort of noise. The kind of noise that was like pulling apart strips of velcro. The kind of noise a diaper might make if it was taken off. “Emily, she already knows.” Joyce reminded with a loving kiss. “That...that doesn’t mean she still has to hear…!” “And she didn’t.” Probably. It didn’t make Joyce’s tone any less soothing. Joyce didn’t leave the bathroom when Emily sat on the toilet, and admittedly something like this didn’t bother her as much anymore, especially when it looked like Joyce was preoccupied with other things on her phone. A level of trust a mother might have for her recently toilet trained child, who has at least enough know-how to do their business and flush. Conditioning was both a frightening, and admittedly exciting thing. “Sorry about that!” Joyce announced their return, and Emily was looking a bit more put-together this time now that she was in jeans and panties, two things that were simply incompatible with her other wardrobe nowadays. And yet the diaper she was just wearing was as if it had residual effects, somehow clinging to her image like a phantom. When Amy looked at her by chance, or made eye contact to converse, Emily could see through her eyes. See the Emily that she was probably seeing. Just the silly girl who was still in diapers. The incompetent adult that could hardly hold her bladder, much less a job-- “Emily…?” A finger probed her cheek, momentarily lost in thought. “What?” Emily quipped as she swiped away Joyce’s finger, who looked pleasantly bemused. “So grouchy,” she chuckled. “I asked if you had anything in mind for lunch?” “Like what? Are we ordering?” Takeout sounded wonderful, especially after an emotional gauntlet like that. Joyce shared a look with Amy, who shrugged with disinterest. “It can be if you want? I think it’s fair to say that you earned the right to pick what we get for lunch?” And so they did, as for once Emily wasn’t afraid to indulge herself. After being made the spectacle of these two, finally she was feeling some confidence now without a pampers prison putting her in check, she was willing to be a bit selfish. Joyce strolled back into the living room, phone slipping back into her pocket. “Okay, order has been put in. It shouldn’t be too long.” “Thanks for treating me, you two,” Amy finally huffed, apparently reaching some sort of conclusion with her work as she finally closed the book, sounding satisfied. “Oh! By the way, Emily? I’ve got a question for you.” “Yeah?” Nervous was all she could be at her best right now. Just coming off of diapers and baby clothing, she’d only ever interacted with Amy in padding, so forgive her for being a bit skittish over a surprise ambush of questioning. “Relax, relax, I’m not going to ask anything weird,” she laughed, “Joyce said you’ve been out of a job for a bit? How’s that going?” Oh. Not a weird question, but not a comfortable one either. And apparently Joyce told her… “It’s...going, I guess.” Emily tried to shrug, playing the role any adult would. Answering the tough questions, but somehow in a way that made the person asking not feel uncomfortable. In other words, lie and placate. “I’m managing, though. I’m sure I’ll be working again soon.” “That’s good,” Amy nodded thoughtfully. “Because you know, I think I could give you some work?” In unison, Emily and Joyce looked at her in surprise. “What? Hey folks! This fellow here is open for commissions! Want something written? I come at just $10/1000! I'm flexible and excited to bring your kinky (or cushy) ideas to life! Reach out and contact me! Want to read Chapter 39 early, by the way? Find it on my Patreon for just $3! Otherwise it'll be on here soon enough! Thanks for all being such big fans!

A HUGE thank you to the person who commissioned this story! It was amazing getting to work and collaborate with them, especially practicing a slightly different than usual approach with a pseudo-dual narrative from two characters. And to make it brief, yes this has continuity with other stories of mine! If you haven’t read “It’s Christmas, After All” or “Digital Remains,” I highly recommend reading those shorts first just to put yourself in the exact context this story plays off of. It makes some of the themes that this story tries to poke at a bit more meaningful, as well as some of the subtle references. But that’s my rant; enjoy! I'm taking story commissions! $10/1000 words! Read until the end for more details! Freedom at Last “Mhm? Uh-huh?” Shut up. “Really!?” A faux chuckle came from the giant on the giant couch. It was always fake when it was over the phone. It was all fake. All superficial. All a bunch of misery dressed in makeup. “No! Stop it!” the Amazon went on and on with her exaggerated tone, gossip and gabbitry. “Oh? Anna? Good as always! –Well, sometimes the occasional temper, but it’s not like you can expect any less,” she continued to laugh. The girl from her four-walled prison cell narrowed her eyes, trying to focus on the digital screen. Why couldn’t these conversations happen anywhere else? Somewhere that Anna wasn’t, or at least far enough out of earshot to completely muffle or tune out the noise. Pay a bit more attention to the subliminal cartoons, plug her ears with the stuffed animals littered across the multicolored mat. Hell, take a nap, even. But that’s just who Mommy was. Mommy, Mama, Mother, Mater, Mummy, Ma; anything that sufficed as a hardwired substitute for the name Anna did but did not know. With dwindling confidence could she even put a spelling to the she-who-must-not-be-named. Not “must-not,” but “could-not.” Whenever she tried to speak it nowadays her tongue would make a sharp turn and babble into gibberish, or the part of her mind that wasn’t hers would steer completely into the indoctrinated lane straight for Mommy Town. It was from a bygone era, but in a distant life when Anna was free and her actual independent self, she could remember people exactly like Mommy. Brazenly strutting about in public with a phone glued to their ear, walking and talking like their surroundings were just dressings to their own personal fantasy. Apparently Mommy didn’t consider this kind of space public, not that it mattered. It never mattered when it was time for diaper checks or even performing a diaper change. Poor Anna wished she could still find the embarrassment in herself to care, yet enough public changes on the park bench had become sickeningly desensitizing. “Yes! That’s right!” Mommy made a small squeal of glee. “Third year of daycare! Awh, really– I’m so proud of how far my little Anna’s come!” Just focus. Focus on the cartoons… “She’s made so many cute friends at daycare, honestly. It’s like a revolving door with all the playdates she goes on!” What is Jessica the Jaguar doing today? Stopping Freddie Ferret from stealing all the oranges from Mama Mary’s Meadow again? So interesting. So very interesting. “Hm? Oh, yes. Plenty of times, trust me. With how many messy diapers I have to deal with in the mornings, it almost makes me wish I potty trained her. Almost!” Thankfully the mat Anna sat on was plush, trying to forget that the very world existed with her short, rounded fingernails plunging into the ground like a giant stress ball. It was all old, it was all the same. She’d heard it all over and over again, but the feelings stayed the same. She’d lost out on the battle against embarrassment. It’d come and come until nothing was left. Nothing but anger and frustration. That never seemed to leave, yet only with time it went out faster and faster once reality made it clear that there was nothing she could do. No one she could turn to. It made her feel sick, like a knot was tied twice-over in her stomach, tumbling and adding all sorts of discomfort. She was stuck, and it’d been that way for years now. Approximately three. Her concept of time was vague and restricted, to say the least. She tracked the day by events, not numbers. Her morning bottle. The ride to daycare. Afternoon diaper change. Half-past snacktime. Bath time. Bed time. Blink and suddenly a week goes by. Blink twice and suddenly a month. Close your eyes for a full second and suddenly a year. A whole year. Times three. Thirst as her new distraction, Anna without losing sight of the TV grabbed her nearby crutch. Rearing her head back with both hands, she nursed a bottle of white substance, down and down it went through rhythmic spurts, far too perfected in technique than she would have liked. After all, she’d been given three years of practice. But the discomfort stayed as the conversation continued. “Mommy?” Anna finally turned her head over to the Amazon, still chatting away, holding a mug of something Anna hadn’t tasted in a lifetime. Something only for “grown-ups.” “No! No, I haven’t told her yet,” Mommy in her own bubble went on with the other person on the phone. “Tomorrow, though!” “Mommy?” Anna raised her voice. That was the balancing game. Trying to get attention without being deemed as “bratty.” “I have just about everything. Oh! I’m so excited! It’s going to be just like–” “Mommy!” Anna shouted fully this time, clearly getting the woman’s attention this time. Mommy’s eyes were on Anna and the mug was being set down. “Kat? Could you just hold on a second?” Next the phone went down. “Anna, baby? What is it? Mommy’s on the phone right now. Do you want some more milk?” “No,” Anna’s head gestured the same way her words communicated. “Can you please talk someplace else?” Anna’s hand went back and behind, pointing up at the screen. “I’m tryna watch!” And instead, all she got was an increasing volume on the screen. “There you go, baby. Now no more interrupting, got it?” Anna was already facing the tv again, glumly accepting the compromise. “Hello? Still there? Yes,” she laughed, “she’s watching cartoons right now. No fusses during a diaper change when I have that on for her!” And yet a little louder volume didn’t do much if it meant Mommy talking even louder just to compensate. Anna grumbled, yet stayed quiet, but her body didn’t. Maybe it was finally starting to physically reject everything. Everything that's happened. All the torture and misfortune she’d been forced to experience on a day-to-day basis. From the beginning up to the present. Birthdays. Halloween. Christmas. With that small flame of courage and rage, she scooched on her thickly padded bottom over to the nearest set of bars, grasping them as she pulled herself up and onto her knees. It was a start and maybe a way she could reclaim something. Something just to hold on, or subside this horrible– A horrible gurgle. A small spurt of gas. A growing pressure that came as quickly as it pressed against her backside like an unyielding force. A tiny grunt left Anna’s mouth, clutching tighter and her body without command pushed in all the wrong places, “subsiding” the discomfort. The world she lived in was a warped place to have her thinking that there lied dignity in shitting a pair of panties. And yet, only because her basis was messing a diaper. Her diaper. Her already moistened, crinkling diaper of smiling puppies and kitties prancing all over. Those same motifs would be delighted to know that she was making more space for them to play as her emptying mess expanded the diaper to the point of sagging. Anna’s hands left the bars and she fell back, ideally because her grip had simply slipped. However, ideals as she had known them were long gone. Either it was time to accept ideals as fantasy or to warp her worldview just to find new ones. Regardless, her quiet, panting breath said enough as from her half-standing assisted position she fell back on her lumpy, muddy bum, all encased in a prison she had known far too well for far too long. At least the discomfort was gone. Replaced by a familiar, bad smell. How it used to make her gag. Used to. Maybe once upon a time Anna would have revolted and stood right back up in disgust, but there were too many crippling reasons for why she wouldn’t and why she couldn’t. And in such a fragile state that could still rock her heart, the girl opted for her few means of coping, or at least trying to forget. Anna’s hand need only travel down the strap clipped to the collar of her shirt, finding a “coping tool” attached to it. Grabbing it by the plastic ring she popped the silicone teat into her mouth. Quiet and reserved, trying to stay composed. “Oh, Kat–” Anna could hear Mommy likely interrupt her friend, “Gotta go. Smells like someone has a case of the number poos!” With all the time she’d been given to figure out her Mommy as a person, Anna knew better than to consider the urgency of a diaper change any kind of mercy. Mommy like Anna must have grown accustomed to the smell, but that didn’t mean she liked it any more than Anna did. In trying to stay oblivious to her own mess that she was forced to sit in, Anna quietly watched the TV, doing her best not to smell, nor to move, lest any of her senses be assaulted further. But she barely even flinched when the surprise grope happened. Her face certainly contorted as she felt Mommy’s hand press against the back of her diaper, smearing and massaging what was at least a contained mess that could have been worse, and worse it had just been made. But she barely moved. As much of a surprise as it was, it really wasn’t. By this point it never was. Routine and repetition as her witness, rarely anything more than a new episode of her favorite cartoon could even remotely hit her as one. “Uh-huh, thought so,” Mommy spoke, finally hooking the back of Anna’s diaper to peer inside, maybe just to marvel at how ever so kindly she had dispersed the hot waste across Anna’s backside. And after an exhale through her Mommy’s nose, Anna could feel her larger hand tussling the hair atop her head. “Okay, sweetheart. Let’s get that diapie changed, then we’ll figure out something for lunch!” Anna held up her arms, but she didn’t take her eyes away from the tv. Half her mind was still focused on the cartoon, admittedly. A small noise left her mouth once she fully realized that they were headed to the nursery. “Wait!” Anna suddenly spoke up. “Here? Change me here?” She pointed accusingly at the TV. “I wanna watch!” Mommy looked as skeptical as the day Anna had told her that she was capable of using a porcelain toilet and not the kind that was taped over her hips. Having a full diaper right then didn’t let her reminisce on that fondly. But Mommy rolled her eyes with a grin. “Well, if it means no temper tantrum…” That’s all that life was now. Soon, Anna was staring up at the high, high ceiling, laying back on a plastic mat of suns and moons. Mommy’s head partly hung over her, tugging at the prison on her hips with a brand new cage waiting by her side. And as the cold, wet wipe offered a clean slate for Anna’s backside, round and round again life had come into full-view with its stagnant perspective of diapers, daycare, playdates and more. More and more of the same demeaning, belittling and fanatical infantilism. “Oh! That’s right!” Mommy suddenly spoke up with a dose of enthusiasm. She always spoke in happy notes around Anna, like her toddler-shaped mind wouldn’t recognize it otherwise. “We still have your favorite for lunch! Bananas and Prunes! Mmmm!” More mashed food from a glass jar, spoon-fed in her high chair, all courtesy of her warden. It was no smiling matter, nor a laughing one, but Anna did so anyway. Made so, really, as she squirmed from Mommy’s nails lightly scraping the bottom of her foot. Favorite was a grossly strong word, but…bananas weren’t bad. “Any bad reports?” Mommy asked with Anna held against her hip, always seeming to be spoken of like she wasn’t in the room. There were still residual screams and squeals of the Littles left over who had yet to be picked up by their “parents.” “Not-a-one!” The daycare worker smiled with her elbows in her hands. “It’s always fun though getting to see her and Alice toddling around! Well, crawling,” she chuckled. “But no, she’s been extra polite lately. Right, Anna?” the Nanny smiled at her, yet Anna slightly stiffened. “Uh-huh…” she obediently nodded, hoping to become just the topic again and not the spectacle. Both Mommy and Nanny shared a laugh. “She’s a little wet, but it’s nothing I don’t think she minds; it’ll hold,” the daycare worker added, speaking so casually like it was the weather. And by this point Anna couldn’t see it as any way but that either. A shitty feeling, but an immovable truth. The worst is being told what goes on in your pants before you even realize it. Apparently she was wet. “Then I’ll take your word for it!” Mommy chipperly spoke while she adjusted Anna in her arms. “We need to hurry, though! If we’re not too late we can beat the traffic…” “Oh! Well, get going then!” the daycare worker ushered them off with a kind smile. Supposedly kind. “Bye-bye, Anna! See you in a few days!” And weakly back, as she was constantly forced to, Anna waved. Dejected and disinterested, she did so, “Bye-bye, Nanny Desna…” Mommy was usually pretty deft and swift at what she did. Changing diapers, putting on onesies, taking off onesies, replacing empty bottles with full ones and so forth. She was always quick with the car seat, too. Every strap that fed into the crotch, shoulder and waist-strap machination and kept Anna snugly in place. “Sorry, Anna,” Mommy said from the front seat, peering back just to back out of the parking space, “Mommy will change you once we get home. We need to run one small errand!” Errands. Not unusual, but typically not after daycare. Anna didn’t care to ask. Instead she leaned forward the few approximate millimeters that her car seat allowed to get her vision beyond the car seat’s mesh padded siding and out the window. “Mommy? I want juice.” “We say ‘please’ when we want things, sweetheart.” “I please want juice.” “Such manners!” Mommy commented the same way she always did when Anna met minimum expectations. After all, that’s all she did expect. Twistedly, expectations were not meant to be exceeded. Trying to talk like a “grown-up” or thinking she deserved panties was tantamount to misbehavior, temper tantrums and sin, yet dropping the P-word like a cure-all medicine seemed to make her the brightest star in the world. Anna couldn’t see it, but she knew the seat in front of her was her diaper bag, fully stocked with anything she could possibly ever need to continue living her life as a baby, and that meant juice. “Both hands,” Mommy reminded with a tinge of warning in her voice. Anna with both hands accepted the sippy cup, a little happier than she would have liked to not get a bottle. Somehow car rides and outings meant sippy cups, but being at hope meant bottles. It was all peanuts to slightly bigger peanuts, but by this point her standards had been broken so badly that the marginal difference could be her highlight of the day. Maybe the week, even. At least Alice helped it seem that way. Life had become so dull that anything was an endless, recycled talking point. “Thank yooh–” Anna partially mouthed with the sippy stout reaching her lips mid-sentence. Why wait to finish a sentence if she was thirsty? Why wait when no one would care? It was a cream yellow T-shirt and pastel skirt kind of day, matched with white socks and velcro light-up sneakers. All tied together by the ample puff between her legs, crinkling each time she swung her legs. Her memory wasn’t built like a camera, but Anna knew when they weren’t going along a usual route. Different billboards, not the same big colored signs. Intuition? A lot of reasons why she knew they were headed someplace new. Someplace different. They went through a tunnel, even, which if memory served, that meant they were in the dense city. Coinciding with the new warmth she was feeling in her diaper, Anna asked aloud, “Mommy? Where are we going?” “We’re going to pick someone up, sweetheart! But you need to promise Mommy that you’re going to be on your best behavior, understood? That means quiet time for the rest of the car ride.” Quiet time. A soft-handed way of saying be quiet. Be seen, but not heard. It wasn’t often when that happened. To Mommy’s credit, Anna was almost always allowed to speak, as long as it was using appropriate words and topics. Not about stocks and society, mind you, but toys and daycare. But by this point Anna knew best not to pester. Better to listen and fall in line. Grabbing the pacifier hanging from the collar of her shirt, she quietly sucked, an addiction she wasn’t a fan of developing, minding her own business. Maybe that’s why she didn’t mind quiet time. Time where she didn’t get to speak meant time to herself. Usually. Anna still watched, however, watching as they pulled into a stretch of road between a network of parked cars and a tall building connecting to something shrouding over them. She could see plenty of grown– Amazons, leaving through glass sliding doors with large suitcases in tow. Only did it hit Anna that they were at a Portal Station. But for who? “Mo–” Anna started to ask, but her pacifier finished for her by muffling her voice into silence. Quiet time. But being quiet didn’t mean she couldn’t stare. She tried to observe Mommy’s body language, who was leaning out from the steering wheel, trying to spot something out the window facing the building. “Oh…!” Mommy quietly gasped, “hi…!” she mouthed in another whisper. Whoever she saw, she had found them and was overjoyed. Anna looked herself, spotting an Amazon in a navy blue windbreaker sort of jacket walking up to the car. Without a word, Mommy got out of the front seat, and Anna watched her from all the windows walk around the car and up to the Amazon in the jacket. Wait, wrong. Up to someone else? Down to? The first thing she noticed was Mommy look down at the ground with a wide grin. Maybe not the ground, but something too short that went beyond Anna’s limited scope of vision. Something shorter than the car door, at least. Mommy leaned down to the point Anna saw her back, then she stood. Stood with something else. Someone else. Surprise. Wide-eyed, Anna stared at the Little in Mommy’s arms. Her hair reached her shoulders and it was three whole different shades of brown. Her nails went past her fingers by just the slightest amount, and she wore traces of…makeup? Bewildered, Anna couldn’t take her eyes off the Little. It didn’t make any sense. She wore a blazer and a blouse; slacks with…stockings…? And…heels? Her fucking knees came together! And suddenly Anna felt herself trying to squeeze her own, but looked down once the bouncer between them crinkled in protest. If that Little could do it though, that meant she wasn’t wearing a…? Anna kept trying to turn her head, following them as they moved around her, but this stupid fucking car seat wouldn’t let her! For the first time in a long time she tried to thrash against the straps, but she hardly even budged. What was going on? Mommy and the strange Little were standing on the other end and the door was pulled open. “And this is Anna…!” Mommy spoke excitedly, leaning down just a tiny bit, sitting the Little on the seat. The grown-up seat. Not in a car seat. A tinge of something hit her like a ton of bricks. The same tinge that she felt when she saw her knees together, and not the kind that she felt in her bladder. “Hi…!” The Little smiled. She smiled? The Little waved at Anna from her seat, then spun her head back up at Mommy. “Awh! She’s so cute! How old is she?” “Well, she likes to pretend that she’s 24, but really she’s my forever-3 baby!” The Little laughed. She laughed? Anna couldn’t understand what in God’s name was happening, and all she could do was bite down on the bulb of her pacifier. Confused. Annoyed. Worried. What was this Little doing? Why was she here? Was she missing something or was she just an idiot? Then she waved at Anna. Waved, like this was some fucking playdate or something. “Hi there, uhm…Anna!” Then in careful enunciation, just like Nanny Desna would always do, she said, “My name is Sarah! Can you say ‘Sarah’?” It was learning animal sounds all over again. Anna’s eyes were wide, but her mouth was closed. No more open than it needed to be for her paci, which she bit and sucked on vigorously. There wasn’t enough flavoring in the world on those things to simmer down the emotions she was feeling. “Not a talker?” Sarah asked as she looked back at Mommy, who was busy between the trunk and passenger door. “Oh, don’t worry, she is! She just had a busy day at daycare today. In fact, she’s waiting on a diaper change that I promised her!” Sarah nodded, but she did glance over at Anna again before picking up on Mommy’s voice. “Oh! We almost forgot your suitcase!” Mommy chuckled, and Anna watched intently as she walked to her side of the car. The side where the windows were shut and sound couldn’t reach. Frantically, she spun her head back at Sarah. “Ruhn,” Anna muttered through her unintentional pacifier lisp. She yanked it out of her mouth as if to throw it, but the strap on her collar went taut and slapped against her shirt, hanging close by. “Run. You need to run.” Anna repeated. “Wh-what?” Sarah smiled awkwardly, like she didn’t quite understand. Of course she didn’t, because if she did, she wouldn’t be here right now. “I am 24,” Anna spoke hurriedly, just noticing Mommy starting to come back around. “You need to–” “Sorry about that!” Mommy announced from the trunk. “Suitcase: check. And, oh! I’m so sorry! I meant to set this up before we came…” Sarah still looked at Anna skeptically, sucking heavily on her pacifier like she was a chainsmoker, gluing her face to the window. “It’s no…” then she looked up at Mommy with a sizable chair in her arms. Anna glanced, expecting something, then looking away the moment she was found to be correct. “Is…is that a car seat?” Sarah asked. “Yes, it is!” Mommy nodded chipperly. “Sarah, it’s against the law here for Littles to ride in cars without one. If it’s okay with you, I’d rather not get in trouble with the police on your first day here?” Mommy laughed, so Sarah did too. What a fool. What an absolute fool. And as the laughter faded, apparently Sarah was still in the minority. “I appreciate the concern, but really, I…” “Sarah, this isn’t really up for discussion…” Mommy spoke like she was acting before she finished her words. Hah. Like Little like Mommy. “...Right…” Sarah slipped closer over to Anna, at least to wait while Mommy set up the seat. What’s more, it looked just like Anna’s. Maybe a different color here or there, but functionally the same. Confinement nonetheless. Anna didn’t watch, but she was certainly forced to hear, enduring her most unexpected session of quiet time. “W-wait! You don’t need to–!” “If I can lift my Anna around all day, I can promise I won’t drop someone just as big as her?” The poor pushover of a Little was being lifted against her will. Was this like culture shock or something? “Oh! Uhm, that’s okay, you really don’t need to–” “It’s fine, I insist,” Mommy spoke assuredly over the sound of buckles slipping into inserts. “Besides, these can be a little tough for Littles to work with. Poor Anna tried an awful lot when she first started using one.” “Right, it’s a good thing they’re kid-proofed, right?” Sarah added, but by this point Anna could hear the slightest sliver of skepticism. Too late. Anna could hear the ear-to-ear smile in Mommy’s voice. “Isn’t it?” Then the door shut, and another opened. Mommy was back in the front seat. “Okay, kids!” Mommy announced with a hand adjusting her rear-view mirror. “All set?” “Uhm…yep!” Sarah said, then the car rolled into motion. “Really, though, thank you so much!” Sarah spoke with gratitude to the back of the seat in front of her. “I can’t tell you how happy I was once I got in touch with someone from here!” “Of course! I’m so happy I could help out,” Mommy conversed back with her. It was like the twilight zone from Anna’s perspective, regardless of the context. Mommy treating a Little like a…grown-up. Sort of. “Sometimes it can get a little boring with just me and Anna around the house! It’ll be nice to have a fresh face.” “Glad I could help!” Sarah chuckled. “I’m just so excited to get to be in this dimension!” Anna could hear the newbie marvel as she tried to look from her carseat, but the slight noises made it known she was quickly figuring out the limits of her vantage point. “There isn’t a whole lot of news that reaches our dimension about this place, so I was really eager to get some firsthand experience!” “Oh, well don’t you worry. You’ll be getting plenty of that,” Mommy spoke confidently, and in a spark of horror it fully clicked for poor Anna. A girl who had just played her part in being an obedient bystander to what was happening. Anna finally looked over at Sarah, who only noticed her attention a second later. “Hi Anna!” Sarah innocently waved again. God, if only she knew how she looked. Maybe it was the pot calling the kettle black, but at least Anna no longer had anything to lose. Sarah glanced ahead, “She must be shy, huh?” “She can be,” Mommy said, “but she’ll come around. I’m sure you two are going to be great friends!” Sarah laughed. Anna stayed confused and angry. How was she not getting it? Why was she still laughing, like this ended in some way that was good for her? Did…did she actually think Anna was a kid? Mommy’s kid? Was that it? Anna looked down at herself with a furrowed brow. Velcro sneakers, a pastel skirt too short for her wet diaper, all with a shirt hanging onto her trusty pacifier, strapped in her car seat, so less. Of course it looked that way. In her ongoing years of living like a baby, she’d apparently grown to look the part far more than she had realized, case and point being Sarah’s sweet, foolish ignorance. But now that everything was clear from Anna’s perspective, there was only one way that this could go. Only one way that it’d end. All that came from the charade of stalling the inevitable reveal, forcing Anna into “quiet time” was simply the satisfaction of shock. All for Mommy’s own pleasure. And so, finally feeling a twinge and discomfort that didn’t end in her diaper being any more wet or dirty, Anna spat out her pacifier again, roughly grabbing the edge of her shirt and tugging it up underneath her car seat straps. “Uhm…Tabitha…? What is Anna…?” And with her bare chest exposed, Anna groped herself just to emphasize one of her breasts, giving Sarah a stone-cold look. “I’m an adult just like you. I’m twenty-funny-four.” An eerie silence, save for the car driving across the highway followed her statement. Not even caring to pull back down her shirt, all Anna did was return her pacifier to her mouth, letting her very adult breasts hang out, just in case Sarah wanted to think otherwise. Whatever. The punishment was worth it. If Anna was stuck like this, the last thing she'd do is let Mommy think she had total control, even if it was in the smallest ways imaginable. Little victories. Sarah was quiet, but finally the complacent, somewhat skeptical look on her face was gone. She looked at Anna, then ahead, then back, then ahead again. “Anna…” Mommy sighed disappointedly, “we agreed to quiet time…” Sarah was muttering something, at a loss for words. It took so little, but her tone finally caught up to speed with what reality was now. She was strapped in a car seat she couldn’t remove herself from, sitting across from a peer around her age dressed in a thick diaper and the latest trend-setting toddler-esque clothes that had already tried to warn her once. A show was certainly awaiting Anna at home, and it wouldn’t be cartoons. She could already imagine it; getting cozy with her giant stuffed teddy bear, suckling down a bottle of milk while the whole performance unfolded. Maybe it hadn’t hit the girl yet, but poor Sarah was as fucked as Anna’s diaper was wet. “H…huh?” Did you enjoy reading the first section? Please be patient and wait until the second half becomes publicly available! Or, read the second half now on my Patreon for just $3! Read chapters of my ongoing stories there early before they hit public release! Like games too? Please help me test my alpha builds! Want me to write a story just like this for you? Or something completely different? A secret spy investigating a daycare for corruption? What? Gasp! For 24 hours all baby enslavement is legal! Traveling abroad to take classes, but it seems something with your dorm mother has been lost in translation… I’m taking commissions! Help me help you make your kinkiest dreams come to life! Current rate is just $10/1000 words! Reach out if you’re interested!