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sherlock

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Posts posted by sherlock

  1. Volume 3........,stacy and Ella move in with Becky, Mel moves in with Jamie and Mandy, Ella's sister comes back and becomes Becky's second little, she requests a level of regression which causes conflict in ella and Jamie's minds, but in a way makes her sister a bit more similar to how she was before Ella was taken and enables Ella to take care of her again. Jamie and Ella have a marriage of sorts, 

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  2. This doesn't make any sense. Why did you nuke the story? Why did you jump a whole year....., a whole year of his trist with the other boy? And he naturally started to get more control of his pooping, with an implant still in, that prevents control. 

     

    I just hope my critique didn't kill your flow. It wasn't my intention. 

     

    Well...., the moderns will soon have an empty nest again. Are you writing a sequel? 

     

    Your start of the story had good pace, try and do the same thing at the end

  3. Dear Alex. Just finished bothe this stories. I wanted to found out where can I buy the story mentioned at the end of the book 1 thread, the anthology of the 27 years old woman, just not ready to potty training. The Amazon link is not alive. I would like to read please. The other short story in the book about the man is not necessary to include. I hope there is a way to buy. Your work is wonderful x

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  4. It's well written and I love the premise and situation. And for the most part the initial statement of orientation was thro wawa, it wasny relevant to the narrative. But now it seems to approaching gutter scenes, which we all love. But unfortunately the gay direction is not appealing at all. It just seems weird you mentioned he noticed the girl, and her bum, kind of a hetero thing. And he noticed it before the boy. 

    A gay interest doesn't really give any legs to the story,he will just be experiencing the same stuff as the protagonist. A straight male female set up would have contrast of situations...., just for example, a girl can hide her nappy better under a skirt, and things like not allowed to wear a bra or breast reduction. In the gay story the love interest is just a mirror to protagonist. I hope this makes sense. 

     

    You do write really well. This universe could rival diaper dimension to be honest, the extremely tall amazon aspect I always feel unnecessary. Maybe consider writing a sequal or story in the same universe with a girl lead.

     

    I might have to jump off point of this stort for now. But would keep an eye out for your new works. 

  5. I have a tiny Xmas wish. Would you be able to run a parallel line of chapters, where he went to speak to the girl with the obviously padded bottom and begin love interest with her please. 

    I'm just being honest, to go the Netflix disney route and make this a gay story is going to lose 99. 9% of your readership and engagement. Most people here are into girls. That's just facts. 

     

    So abit like the Southpark Meme.... "put a chick in it" but make her straight and not lame. 

     

    I think parents would treat a woman returning to a baby differently, and the woman would have different struggles, and procedures from the Dr. 

     

    No torches and pitchforks required, just an honest. Request 

  6. I have to agree. 

     

    This has the most miniscule tenuous link to pranks and punishment, which was ended too quickly, a huge jump forward in time. It deserved more. 

     

    This story really doesn't track or make sense. The mother isnt the same character as in p&p, doesnt interact with the husband the same way. And the premise really doesnt make sense.from where it started with her kids in diapers as punishment and then him. This new direction makes it very weird for her to have put her children in diapers. 

     

    The original story, with a pinch of of salt and suspension of disbelief, was at least believable. 

     

    This new one really isn't. 

     

    Maybe go back and write p&p chapters of the brother and sister plight in between the jump cut forward in time. 

     

     

  7. 5 hours ago, Babypants said:

    I suspect that your resident critic missed the bit about Yang going his own way.  Until that moment, your picture of the clique frankly struck me as a little too lovey-dovey.  Office politics at this level are always cutthroat, and they are always going on.  The tensions that you have introduced in this last chapter have made the whole story a grittier and therefore more enjoyable read.  Keep going! 

    There's no tension. The execs are folding over one underling making noise, after several memorandum chapters listing multiple people with about as much info /proof as Pritchard, but they are not perceived as a threat requiring paying off. 

     

    It's not lovey dovey. It's clandestine, the upper echelon of upper class. Top of the business ladder. Basquing in their affluence. 

    I don't perceive any grit?? 

     

    Whats your take in detail? 

  8. On 7/19/2023 at 2:52 AM, quietlyhumiliated said:

    The conversation you've spawned has been very interesting. It's hard to know how to navigate it as the writer. On one hand, I know how these threads play out in the story. On the other hand, it does make me wonder if I could have presented this a little differently. 

    So I'll offer this: I'd encourage you to keep reading. The specific statement I've quoted? Maybe you'll feel differently about it when you know more. Chapter 51, specifically. (And, hey, if you don't want to wait...you could always gimme $3 and read it on my Patreon right now. Just sayin'.)

    Or, maybe you'll be even more upset about it, I dunno. And, honestly, if that's the case, I would love it if you told me so. 

    On good faith, I will read the next chapter. 

     

    I'm afraid I am dubious. The older story I referenced was excellent up until the point they in all but words killed the female deutoragonist (and she was a better character than the Amazon female) it was really gutting after getting invested in the story. 

     

    I don't feel you can redeem the sense of above everybody and untouchable clandestine that the mummy execs had. 

     

    Your writing, pacing and grounding in believability has been great up until this point

  9. No, the female assistant that doesn't wear diapers would be the natural angle to go down. 

     

    Pritchard was a plot tool to mirror the protagonists only just started in the company, and to set the scene of that progressing up the ladder isn't easy, and then is used as an opposite to Clark, to show how Clark is seen differently to Pritchard in the eyes of execs. And how not everyone is suitable for promotion, and how very selective the execs are. 

    The assistant not in nappies, knows of the situation, like Pritchard, but unlike Pritchard she was deemed suitable, even if no diapered currently. 

    The execs and the micro culture they have, which is wider than just that office, the woman they visited first a business trip, the lawyer. It's not a house of twigs. 

     

    To complete demolish the execs over one guys rumors. Doesn't make sense. The execs community is pretty much untouchable. They know what they're doing. 

     

     

    I forget the name of the story, but it was also an excellent novel up to a point - remember the story where two Littles go to uni, I think for Law, and the girl gets accused of maturosis, but the way around adoption, she can go home to her dad, but she loses teeth and potty training. She takes years learning to hold it again, in hopes to see the boy again....., but the boy is with a amazon that makes medicine to destroy Littles, the girls accidentally takes some via shampoo, and all her work us undone, loses her brain, so the amazons solution is to rebirth her, so essentially killing the original character and removing her love rival. 

     

    I hope it rings a bell. But this story is like that. It gets to a point where the original narrative direction is ruined. I just feel it's happening here. 

  10. It doesn't make sense. The inclusion of Pritchard removes the power, status, influence, control and air the executives have, which makes no sense. 

    He's a nobody, deemed not good enough to be a baby assistant. 

    It just doesn't track with the story. How can the babies be so controlled and under the. Thumbs of their respective execs when the execs are so fearful of a guy spreading a rumor, when a whole retinue of people in the memorandums have similar scraps of info to make rumors, and a whole restaurant and an execs daughter has more information to spread rumors, and the general execs don't feel those a threat to them. 

     

    There was already a male character willingly becoming a baby.., the newer assistant that lyndie was starting a relationship with. 

     

    Pritchard has no direction to go that the other character couldn't explore better. 

     

     

  11. Why would he go to lender and the nursery? 

    I think a "pretty thorough NDA" would also include, sort of do not dig any further. Actually going into the nursery would be the opposite. 

    If some disgruntled guy is causing trouble and making allegations out of jealousy, even if they have shred of truth. You don't give the guy ammunition and give him the whole picture and information. You don't show him what he just believes is true. He couldn't have done anything legally because he had no proof, now he has everything and could ruin them, demand more than the pay off. 

    It's just stupid, and makes no sense, a pretty ridiculous move by the execs. 

    If an employee is making some noise about some part of the business not being up to code, but with no actual evidence, you don't escort the guy to show them the actual fault in the system,you get rid of the guy, and you fix the problem on the quiet so nobody else can try and leverage you on it again. 

     

    Why are they enabling a guys jealous power grab? 

     

    It's not how a clandestine executive established micro community would react. He was no threat. 

    They'd bury him, make him disappear, make his name mud so that he would struggle to find work anywhere. You've removed the air of control and power the execs lorded. Now they get scared and fold to a guy saying things based on no evidence. 

    They have no fear to go to a restaurant and have the baby poop their diaper at the table publicly, imagine the rumors that would have created was any outside the office, but they fear one insignificant guy making a fuss because he's not climbing the ladder? It makes no sense 

    ...., what about all the characters in the interim memorandum chapters...., why are they not getting paid off? They had equally as much proof as Anderson? 

     

    At this point I think it would be a good idea to retcon and rewrite or just ammend the. Narrative before releasing the next chapter. 

    I've really liked the story up to this point, but this really doesn't track with the narrative. This may be my jump off point for continuing to follow it

  12. That still wouldn't fit. The execs have been presented as being all powerful. One tiny dickhead office prick being able to turn their thumbscrews makes no sense. They could easily make him disappear. 

    It doesnt make sense for the narrative. They really should have just cornered him and got him to confess who the blabbermouth is. I'm afraid indulging the guy and giving him promotion to diapers, doesn't make any sense at all. 

    This cant have been their first outsider getting a hint of what's going on. The board are all with child, it's a well oiled machine, this wouldn't even be a situation that even required a paragraph. He would be disappeared and not a threat at all

  13. Wait....., Pritchard gets paid off, AND gets put back in diapers? 

    Has his mummy taken a second baby assistant? 

    This dynamic doesn't sit well. He's calling the shots and has like more power than the mummy executives, he's made them promote him and chose to become a baby. 

    He needs to be knocked down many pegs. Wipe the smug look off his face. 

    It would be better to quickly write Anderson out of the story. It doesn't really fit with how the execs operate. He obviously didn't test as a suitable assistant baby or one of the execs would have taken him of their own volition. No exec has an opening for a baby. 

    I already don't like this character at all. 

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  14. It doesn't really make sense. Ryan could and should have had this reaction several chapters ago. Several gatherings and mistreatment of the girl.....,but he will only stand up if some other guy is going to fuck her. Her daily treatment isn't what he's standing against.

    Is he now some kind of hero or martyr? Giving up his career, that he didn't really want, working with people who he didn't like, in a social system he didn't like. He's a joke. Even holding a knife in front of them they are not scared of him. 

     

    In the sequal, he joins her in diapers, both go to finishing school,the woman who escaped comes to rescue her and adopts both of them. 

     

    Salas continues, unaffected. 

     

    I think she has Stockholm syndrome for her arranged marriage husband. 

  15. But that wouldn't change anything. Sallas would continue. His life and future would be ruined. He would be in jail and not look after the girl. 

     

    The Ryan angle is irrelevant, he had several opportunities to stand up and has just proven to be a sheep. 

    The buck stops with the girl. Either she escapes, is rescued, kis herself or gets re educated. 

     

    But there doesn't feel any need for a sequal. A fitting close would be better than milking it. 

     

    She has no future. 

     

    You can't redeem her husband, the city, and her circumstances in one chapter. 

    The sad thing is even if she killed herself it wouldn't change anything. The story has a organic bleak ending. But nobody writes bad endings anymore. Who's the author in the bathrobe that used to write happy never after abdl stories??? 

  16. I don't see how the story can be concluded in one final post. 

     

    The escaped girl comes back and takes her away with her. 

     

    The disfunctional dynamic with her man can't be resoluted in one chapter. It's clear he's more interested in keeping up appearances than putting her first. 

     

    Maybe she commits suicide or gers sent to re education. 

     

    Why is the ending being so rushed? 

     

     

    Will it just be the overused "X years later" jump cut trope? 

     

    Your writing is good but theres no way to close the story out in the space of one chapter ✌️

     

    Have you gotten bored of writing it? 

  17. Please drop the covid narrative. Let's not add real life fiction in fiction. But I like the premise. If Evelyn has never gotten out of diapers or returned to them after her brother dies from medical negligence in favour of cooking fatality statistics for a government psyop. I'm in 

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  18. 51 minutes ago, nadine_enough said:

    A few years ago, maybe like four or five at this point, there was a database issue that completely ravaged old threads on these forums, truncating the text for a lot of old posts even though some of it could still be seen in search queries. Some posts were left completely blank, as can be seen with this story. As I recall, there was no backup, or the backup was corrupted as well, with which to recover the old forum data. (For what it's worth, the mobile site also has also had an an issue ever since with the ads at the top stretching the page too far horizontally)

    As for this story, you can actually find it in full on what used to be called the ABDL Story Forum. I don't particularly like that forum anymore, and they seem to be very paranoid about older stories and take them down frequently, so I'd recommend downloading it while you can. I wish I had with some of my favorite classics, and honestly I'm a little surprised this one is still up over there. Hope this helps.

    Can you email the full story to me please My_online_rubbish_bin@outlook.com 

     

    Would highly appreciate it :)

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