SashaButters

25 Years ago… “Who would have thought Hearthome City, a name which stood for warmth and kindness, would be at the epicenter for such a bizarre event ?” A female news reporter said. “What was supposed to be a child friendly city, full of happy families, now has parents leery of letting their children out unsupervised.” The news camera zoomed out to show the Hearthome City Gym standing tall before showing slides of the various other amenities, such as the Poffin House, Amity Square, before finally stopping at the front of the Super Contest Hall. “I’ve spoken to several witnesses who were at the scene, but none of which were willing to be interviewed on camera. One witness, who wishes to remain anonymous said, ‘It was like nothing I had ever experienced before. It was just a normal day, I was out jogging with my Machamp before a match, you know, to pump us up and get the blood flowing, but then he just stopped right in the middle of the track. Next thing I knew, my buddy, he grabbed his head and started thrashing about. I knew right away something wasn’t right. I put him back in his ball and rushed to the Pokemon center, and it was there injured trainers started pouring in. It was pure chaos. I saw this guy with crushed legs from his Rhyhorn trampling him. Another girl was just covered in lacerations. Her clothes were all ripped and bloody. She said her Ivysaur had suddenly turned on her and started attacking her with its vines. ’” “Another trainer I talked to said the farmers market stall where he buys honey was in pieces due to a swarm of Beedrills zooming through the aisles. People and pokemon alike were left running for cover as the creatures attacked indiscriminately. This was one of many stands left destroyed from the aftermath. As you can see behind me, police have taped off the area until clean up crews can come and move some of the larger debris.” “Authorities are still unsure as to what upset some of the local pokemon, and local researchers are left scratching their heads. Many Hearthome residents have been pointing fingers to a local criminal fringe group that goes by the name Team Plasma, while others have blamed the nearby lab. Either way, police have asked all residents to stay inside and keep all pokemon safely in their balls until the cause of the disruption has been investigated. I’m reporter Kinsley from Pkmn News, back to you in the studio.” Present day I flicked the Television off and let out a sigh. Contests. Battles. Tournaments. Gyms. Those were the good old days, before what the people of Sinnoh called The Incitement. The world of Pokemon was flipped on its head. It was the day a staggering 99 percent of pokemon stopped obeying their trainers. It didn’t matter if you were a novice or an ace; had one gym badge or all of them. It was like something in their brain was scrambled and Pokemon no longer wished to be our partners. Some say it was only a matter of time before they revolted. “We were using them as slaves” seems to be the going argument now-a-days, but it changes month to month. Some people even went as far to blame the 5g towers, but I think it's a load of Taurus shit. Pokemon were still around, but it was nothing like it used to be. Now there was so much red tape to being a Pokemon trainer, it was nearly impossible. Licenses, fees, tests, age restrictions and a hundred other hoops to jump through. Not to mention the astronomical cost to everything. With only one percent of the population having pokemon, free Pokemon centers were a thing of the past. There was only one in Sinnah now, and it cost nearly $500 to use, so unless you wanted to travel for days, you were left paying outrageous prices for healing items. Not only that, but you had to prove you were a licensed trainer, and I was not. “Honey, I’m going to work. Make sure you lock up behind me” My mother called. “The smoke is getting thick, please make sure to get your evacuation bag packed and ready to go just in case.” “I will.” I said. “Have a good day.” Despite the age of 30 drawing closer every day, I still lived with my mom, and about six other roommates. This was once a world that catered to Pokemon, and without them, the economy took a turn worse than The Great Depression. Jobs were harder to find than trainers. The cost of everything was something out of a dystopian novel. With no free labor from Pokemon, businesses had to hire help, found out they couldn’t afford to pay their employees, and started rapidly going out of business one after another. The first to shut down was the Pokemon Hotel. With trainers no longer flooding the streets to challenge gym leaders, the tourist industry sank. Then went the contest hall, followed by the Pokemon centers and the marts. I counted to thirty. Then sixty. I listened intently for the sound of my moms garden wagon to roll out the driveway and down the street. Then I waited to make sure she wasn’t coming back. The coast was clear. I moved a loose floorboard under my bed and lowered my hand, reaching for the orb shaped object the size of a marble. “Good morning,” I whispered to the object. I rubbed my thumb over it affectionately. “I’ll get you out of there someday. I promise. ” I stuck the orb in my pocket, threw on my hoodie, grabbed my backpack and tiptoed out the house towards my bike. I pumped my legs as fast as they would go, my knees nearly bumping my chin on the pink, glittery bike I’ve had since I was seven. Affording a new bike was out of the question, but it was too far of a walk to get to the old Contest hall building where the black market was held. I passed Greg, the security guard patrolling this end of town for wild pokemon. As long as you stayed inside the city’s perimeter you were moderately kept safe by the near constant patrols, but if you left the gates, you were taking your life in your hands. Death by pokemon was unheard of back before The Incitement, now you just did everything you could not to become a statistic. It seemed there was a new crisis everyday. Fires, mudslides, flooding, earthquakes. “Almost there.” I wheezed out between gasps for air. The smoke was thick. I should have worn a mask, the bandanna I had wrapped around my face wasn’t cutting it. A Monferno had set fire to the brush in the nearby forest a few days ago, but with rescue personnel still busy searching for survivors from the landslide caused by an Onix, we would be lucky if we didn’t have to go down to the public bunkers. We had just been released last Tuesday from a three day stay because an unlicensed trainer lost control of a Skuntank and residents were falling ill from the smell. Smuggling pokemon into the city was a serious crime if you didn’t have the right licenses, and even if you did, they had to stay in their balls outside of the designated areas. There was only one official place in the city where you could let Pokemon out, and that was the gym. I stared up at the large four story gym with longing as I peddled forward before stopping to admire it. One day I’d get to go inside. Unfortunately for me, the door only unlocked for registered trainers. I rubbed the marble in my pocket. I found the pokeball on a scavenging run outside the gates about two years ago. I have no idea if there was anything inside, most likely not, but I liked to pretend there was. It made me feel less lonely talking to whatever, if anything, was inside. I had grown rather attached to it, In fact I never left home without it. If only I could just get inside the gym grounds and let whatever was frozen inside out. But I think I knew deep down it would never happen. Even if I broke in, finding out there was nothing in the ball after all the hours I had spent talking to it would be painful. It had become cathartic, having something to talk to and confide in, like writing in a journal.To lose that by knowing no one was in there… or worse, something was. And it wanted to hurt me. An involuntary shiver ran down my spine. I looked left, then right. I felt like I was being watched. “...Hello?” I asked the empty air feeling uncertain. This place was kind of creepy with the low light and ash filled air. I quickly decided there would be other days to daydream in front of the gym, like when the sun was out. I had trading to do. “Spinarak spun silk! Guaranteed never to split!” A man called out into the crowded hallways. I flinched as another shouted, “WOOLOO WOOL!” I ducked and swerved around a pair of women who were admiring the Stoutland fur handmade hair brushes at Mrs. Bakers stand. No one really knew if they were made with real Stoutland fur. Probably not. You had to be careful down here. For every legitimate product, there were two knockoffs. Scammers were everywhere, I had once even seen a man trying to sell a bunch of rocks as Onyx eggs. People were desperate. Only the trainers had it good, but no one knew if only the rich could be trainers, or if being a trainer made you rich? I pondered this when something made me stop in my tracks. Something was glowing in a jar I hadn’t seen before. I walked up to the lady’s stand and stared at the contents. It was almost like an orange colored cotton ball was lit on fire. “Chimchar tail fur.” the lady me. She was wrapped completely in a deep purple robe and hood. Some of the vendors really get into character. “Makes for perfect lanterns during power outages. Light that will never go out.” I continued to gaze in wonder at the orange and blue ball of fire. This was genuine. I hated sitting in the dark cellar during disasters with seven other people. You were always getting stepped on. “H-how much?” I found the words had slipped out involuntarily. Ha! As if I had the money for something like this. She told me and my heart sank a little. I nodded my head as if I thought that was reasonable. “I see.” I said trying to keep the disappointment out of my voice. “I accept cash or favors.” I lifted my head suspiciously, trying to keep my hopes from rising. “I don’t do sexual favors.” You could pay in the black market two ways. Bartering and Buying. Favors fell in the bartering category. You could offer to clean someone's house, mow their lawn, babysit the kids, whatever they needed. Or sometimes people ask for a different kind of favor… Anything went down here. The woman placed a container on her table. “I need ectoplasm.” “Done!” I said. She raised an eyebrow. “And you have that on you?” “Uhh, n-no, but I can get some. Let’s see, ectoplasm comes from ghost pokemon and ghost pokemon are… My head slowly went in the direction of the gym. I gulped. “Will that be a problem?” The woman asked. “N-no, I can get it.” I really need to think these things through, I thought to myself as I stood in front of the gym holding a tupperware container. “Hi, Miss Fantina, you don’t know me, but can I ask if one of your pokemon would shit in this bowl for me?” Or whatever ectoplasm was. I let out a nervous laugh. This was all because I was scared of the dark. What could I possibly offer a woman, no, a gym leader, something she didn’t already have? I walked around the perimeter. It was built like a fortress! How could I barter with her if I couldn’t even get in? I had no trainer license to scan. I stopped and stared at the front door. Was there a button I could press to talk to someone inside? What if I just knocked? I cautiously rapped my knuckles on the door, not really expecting anything to happen. To my astonishment the door slid open to the side. Curiosity compelled me forward. “Hello?” I asked. I stepped into the lobby. I looked around, but the small registration room was empty. It actually didn’t look like anyone had been here for quite a while. A noise coming from further inside grabbed my attention. I peeked my head around the corner, there, standing in the hallway, was a woman wearing a purple dress and the strangest headwear I had ever seen. I let out a small yelp. “Miss Fantina! I-I’m so sorry to intrude! I just wanted to make a -uh.” My words cut off as the woman standing in the hallway beckoned me forward with a wave of her hand before turning to leave. Did she want me to follow her? “So- I was wondering if you needed a favor of s-some kind? I can clean or-” The lights flickered off leaving us in total blackness. I let out a yell and froze in terror. I really hated the dark. I groaned. I think I peed a little. The lights came back on. Miss Fantina was on the other end of the long hallway. She silently beckoned me forward again before turning left. I gulped. Something seemed off. “M-miss Fantina, do you think we could just talk out here?” My heart was still racing from the power surge. A single white, long, slender finger re-appeared with a long purple colored nail. It beckoned me onward. I took a shaky step forward and followed after her. When I turned the corner she was nowhere to be found. Several closed doors greeted me, but the one on the end was open. The lights went off again. I gritted my teeth. There was a dim glow emanating at the end of the hallway. I headed for it in a bit of a gallop from the adrenaline surge and came to a flight of stairs going down into the basement. I stopped at the foot of the stairs. Do I go into the creepy basement? I turned and looked back at my other option. I could retreat and go back the way I came. Back into the darkness. I found myself hurrying down the stairs. As I reached the bottom and had a better look around, my jar dropped. What. The. Fuck. It was as if I had just entered Wonderland and I was Alice. The furniture…it was huge. The door slammed shut behind me. I panicked and turned to run but stopped dead in my tracks. How had Miss Fantina gotten behind me? Her head was cocked to the side as she took me in. I backed farther into the room. There was a smile on her face that sent shivers up my spine. Her eyes seemed hollow, empty and black. She had something in her hands as she stepped towards me. “M-ma’m?” I was growing more and more uneasy. I backed into something huge. I turned to look at it. It was a crib. I was in some kind of nursery. “D-id you want me to babysit?” I asked. I noticed what was in her hands. It was a diaper. “M-ma’m?” In the blink of an eye she was in front of me, no towering over me! This wasn’t real. No human could grow this size! I let out a scream. “There there baby girl.” The massive 9 foot tall woman said. Her voice was monotone with a bit of an echo. It didn’t sound right. It didn’t sound human. I tried to run, but she grabbed me from under the armpits and lifted me up. “Baby is okay.” I punched, kicked, and tried to thrash my way to freedom but she only held me tighter. “Baby is going to get a time out if she doesn’t quit moving.” The only thing I was accomplishing was making myself tired. No matter how much I kicked it didn’t affect her. “No! No! Put me down!” I quickly got my wish, but it wasn’t back down on my feet. It was on my back. “What are you doing? Let me go!” I struggled to sit up, but a massive arm across my chest kept me restrained. I could feel her prying my shoes off. What was happening? Now my socks were being taken off. “Stop it!” I begged. “I’m sorry I came in without a license, I won’t do it again! Please let me go!” She was fiddling with the waistband of my pants. No! No! No! I did the only thing I could think of as I felt my pants begin to slide down my legs. I lifted my head as high as it would go and sank my teeth into her arm. “NO! BAD GIRL!” I regretted my choice. In the flash of an eye I went from laying on my back to being on my stomach. “YOU DON’T BITE MOMMY!” I let out a surprised yelp as a hard hit smacked my bare butt cheek. “STOP THAT!” I yelled. “Don’t hit me!” But the blows wouldn’t stop coming. It went from surprise, to embarrassment, but now it was starting to sting. “Stop it; that hurts!” I wailed. “Apologize for biting mommy and I’ll stop.” “I’m sorry! I’m sorry for biting you! Please stop!” And just like that I was lying back on my back. Tears of pain and humiliation stung my eyes. “Are you going to be a good girl for mommy?” “Yes.” I whimpered, terrified of the situation I was in. “Mommy doesn’t like to hurt the baby.” Fantina let out a smile, but something about it was off. And her voice, and the size. I had entered the Twilight Zone. My heart was pounding as my pants and underwear were pulled down the rest of the way. “Why are you doing this?” I whimpered as I was lifted and placed on the outstretched padding. “Baby can’t be trusted to tell mommy when she has to go potty so baby needs to stay in diapers.” The robotic voice said. “But I’m not a baby!” I protested. “I’m nearly thirty!” “Baby is cranky! Does the baby need another spanking?” I quickly fell silent. This lady was nuts. Yes, she must be! She must have gone crazy from all the years spent locked up alone in the gym! But the size change… Maybe I was the one going crazy? Did I hit my head? Breathe in a poisonous gas? Was I in hell? I cringed as the diaper came up. Was this actually happening to me? The arm holding me down released me and Fantina turned her back and began rummaging through a cabinet. I tried to make a break for it, but I could hardly move. This diaper was like having thirty pound weights strapped to my waist. I struggled to sit up, but between the crotch boulder and the involuntary trembling, I was trapped and I knew it. I started to sob. I knew I was fucked. No one knew I was down here. “Please. Please let me go home. I have a family.” “But, sweetheart,” Miss Fatina said, now holding a bottle of milk. “You are home.” I let out a scream. Her eyes! They were missing! The basement door sprung open and a pair of footsteps came clunking down the stairs. I held my breath. My heart began to hammer. Was there someone else in on this? Was I about to become a victim of human trafficking? Is that why they put me in a diaper? To ship me off? “Slip, why do you look like me?” a female voice asked, before rounding the stairs “And why are you down in the playroom?” I began to babble from fright and tried desperately to back away. It was the woman from the black market! The one who sent me here! They were working together and I fell right into their trap! The woman ripped her hood off and stared at me, her face began to redden and her eyes were as wide as the moon in… shock? We both let out a scream. How was this possible? How were there two Fantina’s? “SLIP!” She screamed. “ALL OF YOU! GET IN HERE! FAMILY MEETING!” The first Fantina began to shrink. I let out a frightened whimper and covered my face with my arms as the thing I thought was human dissolved into a gelatinous puddle on the floor. Ghosts began to float in from the wall and they were…they were…. laughing? I took in the mess on the floor that had now grown eyes, the ghosts, and finally Fantina as realization dawned. It had been a pokemon all along. “I SENT HER OVER TO TEST THE ALARMS! YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO KIDNAP HER!” Fantina screamed. Things were starting to go black. It was too much for my system to take. The last thing I remember before losing consciousness was thinking, “Even a gym leader loses control of them.”

Sorry for the delay of chapters. My health has been an absolute shit show for the last three months.

It already has ?

Maybe…

Matilda sat glumly on the couch, with about three or four bed liners underneath her. She wasn’t entirely sure how many Miss Honey had laid out on the couch cushion, but it seemed a bit excessive. She shivered and pulled the blanket tighter around her torso. All the windows had been opened so the house didn’t smell like urine. Matilda cringed as she heard the alarm go off from the kitchen stove. Next came the sound of chair legs scrapings against the linoleum followed by footsteps. “How ya doin’, Super Soaker?” Mrs Rodgers asked. Matilda bit her tongue. She hated her new nickname. “Fine,” Matilda mumbled, hands clenched into fists beneath her blanket. She looked longingly at the door. Why wasn’t Jenny back yet? “Are you sure you don’t want me to put on a movie for you? You must be bored just sitting there.” “I’ve got a book.” Matilda mumbled, avoiding eye contact. “Which you haven’t even cracked open. Are you feeling sick? What’s your pain level at?” “A six?” And rapidly climbing. She was feeling irritable again, an indication the pain medicine was wearing off. It didn’t help that Mrs. Rodgers seemed to find this morning's events funny. She had even gone as far as to pocket a rosary, which she waved at her with a smirk every time they crossed paths. Matilda felt a little ashamed. Usually she had better control over her temper, but today all bets had been off. She was pissed, no pun intended. When Miss Honey had shared her theory with Mrs. Rodgers about what she thought had been going on in the back room, Matilda hadn’t corrected her. Their original assumption had been a bit more accurate. Mrs. Rodgers had given her a wink and mimed zipping her lips. She knew the truth. Mrs. Rodgers consulted her watch. “You’re a little early; think you can wait another 30 minutes or so?” Matilda grumbled. Not feeling all there had been the only thing that made any of this slightly bearable. Now that it had worn off, she was all too aware of the cold wetness she was sitting in, or more accurately, stewing in.“How about I make you a deal then? Let’s get through this without any fighting or complaints and i’ll give you your pain pill a little early? Deal?” Matilda pursed her lips and thought about it. She wanted to be out of pain, but she had been hoping Jenny would have been back by now. She needed to do more than pee. It was the reason she hadn’t cracked open her book. All her focus had been on keeping the back door shut and locked. She had been scared to tell Mrs. Rodgers for fear she’d make her go in the diaper. Poop was Jenny’s hard pass, and she was willing to take her to the toilet if it meant she didn’t have to deal with it. Mrs. Rodgers on the other hand had already told her she was immune to all things gushing, dripping, squishing, projecting and leaking that could come from the human body due to her time as an ICU nurse. Before Matilda could come up with an answer, Mrs. Rodgers had removed her blanket and was already lowering her down into a vertical position. Matilda winced at the movement. “You are soaked.” Mrs. Rodgers said, untapping the used diaper. Matilda cringed. Did she have to point out the obvious? “One, two, three…” She pulled the used pads out from under her. “If your mom can’t find something better at the store, you might really be camping out in the backyard on one of the lawn chairs.” Matilda laid still and tense as she waited for the cold wet wipe, but instead, she felt her lower half get raised and set down on hard plastic. “Empty the tank while I toss this stuff. Bonus points if you can get anything else out, you know how squeamish Jennifer is.” Matilda was all too happy to oblige. It wasn’t the toilet, but at least it wasn’t the diaper either. “All done or you need a minute?” she asked after returning from the outdoor trash can. “I’m done.” “Did you try to po-” “Yes.” Matilda mumbled. “No luck? Are you sure you don’t want to try for a little longer?” Matilda shook her head. “Okay, well, just let me know if you need to- well never mind then.” Mrs. Rodgers said when she removed the bed pan. She left to go flush and rinse it out before coming back. “Jenny will be happy.” she said before giving Matilda a frown. “You know you can tell us when you need to go.” “You told me to try, so I did.” Matilda said avoiding eye contact. “I was only gone thirty seconds at most. That wasn’t a ‘I tried and something came out’, more like ‘I’m already prairie dogging’.” Matilda gave her a puzzled look. “You know how they stick their heads in and out of the holes.” “Eww,” Matilda said, half smiling half grimacing as Mrs. Rodgers went back to fixing her up. Matilda winced. There was the cold wet wipe she had been expecting. “Since you’ve been a good sport about this with me, how about we do something different?” Mrs. Rodgers offered. “How’d you like to sit out back? I can turn on the fire pit and we can make smores.” “Can I have my pain pill first?” Matilda asked. Just the thought of getting moved again sent her pain from a six to a seven. “Yes, let me get that.” She rose from the couch and went into the kitchen. “Anything in particular you want to drink? Milk? Water? The blood of a freshly sacrificed goat?” “Will you let me finger paint pentagrams with it on the patio?” She could hear Mrs. Rodgers let out a snort of laughter. “Sorry, demon summoning hours are over, the neighbors will complain since it’s after eight. It’s in my HOA contract.” “They should at least extend it to nine.” “That’s what I say!” “Can I have milk?” “Sure.” Mrs. Rodgers came back with a large cup of white liquid and set it on the coffee table along with four pills. Matilda’s heart sank. Four pills? Why was there an extra pill? What was this going to do to her? “Need any help sitting up?” “I can do it.” Matilda insisted. She tried pushing up with her elbows but found herself too weak and in too much pain to get more than a few inches. She fell back down, arms shaking and out of breath. “Stop being so stubborn; it’s okay to ask for help.” “I’ll keep that in mind during summoning hours.” “I’m serious, if you need something, don’t be afraid to ask. The worst we’re going to say is, ‘no’.” “Then can I chuck the other pills over the fence?” Matilda asked, before letting out a grunt of pain as Mrs. Rodgers sat her up. “Nice try.” She handed Matilda the glass of milk and pills. Matilda looked down at them, relieved to find there wasn’t an extra pill after all. Rather, the large pain pill had been cut in half for her. It still took a few tries to get down, but the taste of the milk helped mask the bitterness of the rapidly dissolving pill in her mouth. “What do these do?” Matilda asked. She opened her palm to show Mrs. Rodgers the white and orange capsule and the little white tablet. “I thought you would have figured that out by now.” “I have a general idea, but what do they do specifically?” “Well, one is a diuretic, so between that and all the extra liquid it must feel like we’re forcing down your throat, that’s the reason you have to pee a little more than usual.” “A little more?” Matilda asked, a doubtful expression on her face. The only times she had felt dry were right after a change, and that only lasted twenty minutes or so. As much as she hated being wet, it hadn’t taken long for her to feel grateful she wasn’t getting her way. She didn’t know it was possible to hurt more than she had yesterday, but the thought of having to move her body every half hour sounded like torture. Even being carried hurt. Her only escape had been the drug induced naps the pain pills brought on. She had even stopped asking for the bedpan a few hours in when getting lifted on and off had become too much. Now she only used it in between changes in an attempt to keep the new diaper dry for as long as possible. “The other one’s a muscle relaxant.” Mrs. Rodgers finished. “That’s why I feel so weak!” Matilda exclaimed. “They didn’t want you holding it; if there is something wrong with your kidney, it could cause more damage. As much as you hate diapers; you’d hate a foley more.” “What’s a foley?” “It’s when they stick a tube up your urethra and into the bladder to drain it.” Matilda made a face. “It doesn’t hurt, but there is a much higher risk of infection and you’d have to carry around a bag of your pee with you.” “Nope, I’m never getting one.” Matilda said. “Too late for that; you’ve already had one.” Mrs. Rodgers said with a smirk as she watched Matilda’s face darken. “Not a foley, but a straight.” “When did someone do that?!” Matilda asked, horrified. “When you had surgery. Usually they put it in and take it out while you’re asleep.” “Oh. I guess that’s okay then.” Matilda said. As long as she was unconscious. “Okay, I get why I’m peeing so much, but why are they making me take this? Doesn’t this just give my kidneys more work?” “I know it seems that way, but it’s actually less work since there’s less of a concentration of toxins to flush out. Did you notice it doesn’t smell anymore when we change you?” “Really? I thought I had just gotten used to the smell.” “Nope, it’s because there’s less urea and ammonia now. Now quit stalling and take your medicine.” “Only if you agree not to chase me with a hatchet.” Matilda said before popping the pills in her mouth and chugging the milk. She looked up to find Mrs. Rodgers giving her a quizzical look. “Why would I chase you with a hatchet?” “It’s something Jack Torrance kept saying when he chased his family through the hotel. ‘It’s time to take your medicine.’” Matilda said as she mimed swinging an ax. “Whose Jack Torrance?” “The dad from The Shining, you know, the book about the haunted hotel they stay in during winter and he goes stir crazy.” “Come play with us, Dan-ney.” “Yeah, that one.” Matilda said with a giggle. “So you like Stephen King?” “Yes! I had asked Mrs. Phelps if she knew of any books about a young girl with supernatural powers, given, you know.” Matilda gestured to herself. “She recommended Fire Starter and I’ve been hooked ever since.” “Which one’s your favorite?” “Hmm, “ Matilda thought for a moment. “Probably, ‘It’. I like his stories about kids the best.” “So what would Pennywise turn into if he ran into you?” Mrs. Rodgers asked. Matilda imagined getting chased by a clown, a red balloon in one hand and a diaper in the other. “The Trunchbull,” Matilda lied. “What about you?” Mrs. Rodgers seemed to be deep in thought for a moment. “Well, since Pennywise only goes after children, I think I’m safe.” “Okay, if you were a kid.” “It would probably have to be,” Mrs. Rodgers said before pausing, “a giant chicken.” Matilda burst into laughter. “Why a chicken?” “When I was little we’d go visit my aunt's farm out in the countryside on holidays. She would have chickens roaming around the property and she had this one in particular, a big nasty thing. It was brown with these black beady eyes, and I swear the moment I’d step out of the house, it would chase me. It wouldn’t chase anyone else, just me. This thing would sit watching the house and wait for me to come out.” Matilda gripped her side in pain, but continued to laugh. “My dad came out looking for me because I was late for Thanksgiving dinner, and found the beast in question circling the base of this large willow tree, with me up in the branches screaming I was going to turn it into a chicken sandwich.” It took Matilda a good solid minute to calm down. “Ready to go outback?” Matilda looked down at herself. She was still naked from the waist down. “I think you might be forgetting something.” “Don’t worry about it; just promise you won’t pee on me.” Matilda braced herself and hung on to Mrs. Rodgers neck as they headed out into the back yard. “How else am I supposed to mark who gets sacrificed and who doesn’t?” “It’s after eight.” Mrs. Rodgers reminded her. “Damn.” Matilda let out a surprised yelp as the arm that had been supporting her pulled away and she felt a soft smack to her bare butt. “No swearing, you’re only five.” “I’ll be six in a few months!” Matilda exclaimed. “That doesn’t make it any better in the slightest.” Mrs. Rodgers said with a playful shake of her head. She set Matilda down on one of the outdoor chairs. Matilda looked down at it. It was one of those white hard plastic lounge chairs with horizontal white strips of rubber running up and down the length of it. Matilda kind of wished she was back in a diaper. It was cold out here and she had the feeling her back and butt were going to look like a candy cane by the time they went back inside. “ Don’t go anywhere, I'm going to run inside and get the lighter.” Matilda gave her a quizzical look. Where exactly did she think she could go half naked with broken ribs? While she waited for Mrs. Rodgers to return, she took in her surroundings. She couldn’t see much in the dark, but she could make out the fire pit in front of her with three other chairs, a grass lawn further off in the distance and what looked like a tree. Suddenly, there was a loud hoot off to her left by the patio door. Matilda whipped her head around and let out a gasp. There, resting on a large perch she hadn’t noticed before, was a large, brown, barn owl. It was both beautiful and terrifying. They both stared at each other unblinking, until Mrs. Rodgers returned. “I see you’ve met, Whodini.” The woman said before stroking the side of the owl's head. “You have a pet owl?!” Matilda asked, flabbergasted. “You just told me you’re afraid of chickens! It’s like a giant chicken that can fly.” Whodini let out a hoot of indignation. Apparently the owl didn’t appreciate being compared to a common domesticated fowl. “She didn’t mean that; don’t listen to her.” Mrs. Rodgers cood, before turning back to Matilda. “Olivia’s headmaster gave him to me so we could keep in touch.” “Wow.” Matilda said. All her Headmistress had given Matilda was a crushed larynx. “I didn’t know what I was going to do with an owl around the house, but he’s been so useful! Yes you have!” Matilda watched as she stroked the owl a few more times, before taking a seat across from her. “There hasn’t been a single rabbit, mouse or squirrel destroying my garden all week. I think he’s scared them all off.” Matilda stared at the scattered bones underneath the perch. More like eaten them, she thought. In a few minutes, Mrs. Rodgers had managed to light the fire pit to Matilda, and Whodini’s, delight. The owl had flown closer and perched atop one of the empty patio chairs to enjoy the warmth of the fire. Matilda watched the flickering flames, enjoying the change of scenery as she chatted with Mrs. Rodgers about other books they had enjoyed. “Do you still have that chess set with the talking pieces?” Matilda asked hopefully. “No, that was Olivia’s, she took it back to school with her.” “Oh, bummer.” Mrs. Rodgers grinned. “She said they still won’t listen to her after you beat her so badly.” Matilda thought back to Christmas and chuckled. It was the strangest thing she had ever seen. A chess board whose pieces moved on their own, talked and attacked each other. The first round they played Matilda had won, only for the pieces to congratulate Olivia on her sportsmanship by allowing her young opponent to win on purpose. It wasn’t until Matilda’s third win in a row did it, or they, realize Olivia had not been throwing the game. By her fifth win, Olivia’s pieces had told her throwing them in the fire would be a kinder fate than taking orders from a dimwit who couldn’t even defeat a small child. That’s when Olivia packed up the game and said she wasn’t in the mood for chess anymore. “Everything okay?” Mrs. Rodgers asked after about twenty minutes. “You’ve gone awfully quiet.” Matilda hung her head and mumbled. “What? What’s wrong?” Matilda sighed. “I have to go.” she mumbled. “Go? Go where? Back inside?” Matilda shook her head. “Ohh, do you need to pee?” Matilda meekly nodded and averted her eyes. She waited for Mrs. Rodgers to get up and take her back inside, but instead of hearing the scraping of chair legs, Mrs. Rodgers said, “it’s alright, go on.” Matilda looked up at her, confused. “No point in wasting supplies; you won’t hurt anything back here.” Matilda looked around, then back up at Mrs. Rodgers doubtfully. The pain medicine had started to kick in and her thoughts were becoming fuzzy. “Where?” she asked, just to make sure. She didn’t trust herself to fully understand the situation in this state. “Right where you’re sitting, silly. It’s not like you can get up and walk to the grass.” Matilda looked down, then back up. “In the chair?!” “It’s plastic and it’ll just run down the gaps. I can always just rinse everything off with the hose later.” “If you’re sure.” Matilda mumbled. She really hadn’t wanted to go back inside just yet anyway. She kept her eyes focused on the fire and relaxed, cringing as it noisily began to trickle and splatter on the concrete patio below. “Matilda! No! What are you doing?” Matilda clamped off the stream in fright and whipped her head around. Miss Honey was standing in the doorway looking horrified with two shopping bags in her hands. “Relax, Jen, I told her to.” Mrs. Rodgers said. “Come pull up a chair.” Miss Honey pursed her lips for a moment before stepping out into the back yard. “Not that one, sorry, it’s taken.” “By who?” Miss Honey started to ask before jumping back in surprise. “Is that an owl?!” “This is Whodini; he’s my Mousekeeper.” The owl let out a hoot and ruffled its feathers. “Sorry, and postmaster.” “Uh, right, I’ll sit over here with Matilda.” Miss Honey picked up the free chair and scooted over as far as she could from the large bird of prey. “Has she given you any problems?” Matilda could see Miss Honey eyeing her suspiciously. “None at all.” “Really?” Miss Honey raised her eyebrows in surprise. “And you’ll be happy to know she even evacuated her bowels.” Matilda could have probably heard Jenny’s sigh of relief from across the yard. She turned to look at her. “Thank you for behavi-” Jenny started to say, but stopped. “What’s wrong?” Matilda’s jaw was clenched tight along with her legs, but the rest of the liquids inside her were demanding release. “Go on and finish, kid.” Mrs. Rodgers said. Matilda gave a small moan of embarrassment but the pressure was too much. The trickling beneath her began to resume. “I should really go put her in a diaper now.” Miss Honey said. “She’s fine, Jen, I mean, just look over there.” Jennifer and Matilda both looked where she was pointing. Underneath the perch, the ground was covered with feathers, bones, and owl poop. “I need to hose everything down anyway. Don’t waste the supplies.” Jennifer pursed her lips, but said nothing. “Might want to move your chair though.” Jennifer looked down before scurrying out of the way as a stream of urine was cascading towards her shoes. Matilda grinned as she made eye contact with Mrs. Rodgers, who was giving her instructions with her hands from underneath her own chair. “So did you find anything at the store?” Mrs. Rodgers asked. “Yes, I found some diapers made for night time along with some extra padding to go into it. Sorry it took so long, I had to go to several stores.” Miss Honey frowned as she looked down before picking up her chair and moving forward again away from the still oncoming stream. Matilda and Mrs. Rodgers grinned at each other. “I hope it wasn’t too expensive for you. Let me know if you need me to pitch in for anything.” “No! Carol, you've done so much for us already! I’m just trying not to ruin all your furniture. I mean, we can always just go back home so you don’t have to deal with any of this.” “No,” Miss Rodgers said with a frown. “I don’t think that would be wise; it’s too soon.” Jennifer bit her lip in embarrassment and averted her eyes before her frown increased. She picked up her chair once again and walked it to the dry side of the patio. “Just give it a few more days; at least until we know something’s seriously not wrong with her. It’s a lot for you to take on by yourself.” “I don’t know how I could ever thank you for helping us through this.” “You can thank me by not looking down.” Mrs. Rodgers said with a chuckle. Miss Honey’s eyes fell and she let out a startled yelp. “It’s chasing me!” Matilda and Mrs. Rodgers let out howls of laughter. Miss Honey looked between the two of them confused before the pieces of the puzzle clicked. “Matilda!” Jennifer said, jumping to her feet. She pointed to the pattern of wet cement and how one particular stream zigzagged and seemingly changed direction. Even Whodini seemingly let out a hoot of laughter. “Huh, they really didn’t level this patio very well.” Carol said between chuckles. Matilda was smiling from ear to ear, before letting out a yawn. The pain medicine had completely taken hold and now she felt exhausted. “I thought you were on my side.” Jennifer said with a shake of her head. “C’mon, let’s get you ready for bed.” She bent down and picked Matilda up, but as soon as she did, Carol burst into another fit of laughter. “What?” “The chair was a little dirtier than I thought, she’s got dirt stripes all up and down her backside.” Miss Honey sighed. “Into the bath with you.” After a quick bath, Matilda was carried to the back bedroom and laid out on more disposable pads. She scowled when the new diaper was taped up. “I can’t even come close to closing my legs.” she mumbled through the haze of sleep. “Maybe these will help you feel dryer longer.” Jennifer said, before lying on the bed herself. “Come here.” She pulled Matilda into her arms and let her rest her head on her chest. “I’m sorry for what I said to you this morning.” Matilda said, closing her eyes and melting into Jenny’s touch. “You’re a good mom. The best.” she said before sleep overcame her. “I love you.” Jenny whispered as she rubbed Matilda’s back. “Even when you act possessed.”

Jennifer paced back and forth from the kitchen to the living room. After a few minutes of back and forth, she tried to sit down on the living room sofa, managed to stay still all of three minutes, and resumed her trek. She could feel Carol’s eyes watching her wearily from the kitchen. She glanced at the grandfather clock in the corner for the tenth time in the last hour. Had enough time passed to let Matilda out? Would she be civilized now or would she still be ornery? She had to have peed by now; she must be wet and cold. “Jen, come make yourself a cup of tea and sit down. All that pacing is making me nervous.” Carol called from the kitchen. Jennifer apologized and reluctantly joined her at the table. “You can’t take what she said personally.” Miss Honey bit the inside of her cheek. “Kids can be brats, even the well behaved ones.” “But not Mat-” “Yes, even Matilda.” Carol said, cutting her off. “She’s five, she’s in pain, and she’s not getting her way. It’s like the unholy trinity. It has the power to turn children into demons.” Jennifer winced at the word “demon”. Was this what all the other moms’ felt when their kid threw a tantrum in the supermarket? She should have removed anything breakable before setting her loose in there. She hadn’t expected Matilda would throw such a fit over a time out. “I am so sorry.” Jennifer said for the hundredth time that morning. “I’ll replace anything that’s broken.” As soon as she had shut on the door, there had been a series of loud bangs, and ear splitting shrieks of anger. It had taken Jennifer so off guard all she had been able to do was stand rooted to the spot as she stared at the closed bedroom door in horror. It had only lasted a few minutes, but still. She would never have expected Matilda to act in such a horrendous way. Carol waved her hand in a dismissive gesture. “I’m serious. I just can’t believe she’d act this way over being grounded.” Jennifer admitted. “She’s normally so level headed.” “I doubt it’s about being grounded. Those weren't ‘I’m mad’ screams.” Carol said. Jennifer raised an eyebrow. “Those were coming from a much deeper place I suspect, and I believe it’s been building inside her for a long time. These last few days were probably enough to push her over the edge.” “I don’t know whether to ground her longer, forget the whole thing, or call in an exorcist.” Jennifer said, letting her head fall into her hands. “She was never really grounded in the first place. I was going to drop the whole thing once I was confident she wasn’t bleeding. I was just trying to kill two birds with one stone; dissuade her from using her powers against people and make sure everything was looking good and healthy without her knowing.” “You know you’re an open book. I think she would have realized something was up if you kept staring into her used diapers like they contained the answers to the universe.” “I am not.” Jennifer said, although she could feel her cheeks begin to warm. “I just didn’t want her to be angry with herself if the medication caused her setbacks. It’s no fun to hate your own body, I think I'd rather her be angry at me than herself.” “Bullshit.” Carol said, bluntly. Jennifer looked up at her stunned. “ That’s not why you decided on this.” Jennifer stumbled to come up with a response. “You want to know what I think? I think you want her to be angry at you. You’re still punishing yourself.” Jennifer opened her mouth to argue, but found her mouth had gone alarmingly dry. “No,” she finally managed to croak out. She could feel the sting of fresh tears and averted her eyes. “Yes,” Carol said. “Stop bottling it up, Jennifer, and come clean.” “There’s nothing to come clean about.” “Then why are you crying?” “I’m not crying!” Jennifer insisted, despite feeling the moisture on her cheeks. She buried her head in the crook of her arm and flinched when she felt Carol grab her hand and begin stroking the top of it with her thumb. Jennifer could feel the goosebumps rising on her body again and shivered. “If I didn’t know better, I’d swear the two of you really were biologically mother and daughter. You both have the worst coping mechanisms I've ever seen.” Jennifer half chuckled and half sobbed before stiffening. She could hear Carol dragging her chair around to her side of the table. She felt her breath catch in her throat when a hand rested on her back and began to rub small circles. She felt frozen in place. This was much more touching than she was used to. Her limits were a handshake here, and a quick hug there, a longer one if the person in question was under the age of ten, but this was different. It was as if Carol had picked her up and thrown her far outside her comfort zone, yet she couldn’t get herself to pull away or tell her to stop. Oh god, was she actually enjoying this? “It’s okay, Jen, breathe.” Carol whispered. The palm rubbing circles on her back had stopped and had been replaced by the tips of her fingernails running up and down her back. “You’re safe here; I promise.” Jennifer let out her held breath. “There you go. There you go. Take some more deep breaths.” Now there were two hands running up and down her back. There was an unfamiliar tingling sensation spreading from the top of her head, down her torso and up her arms. “Now take this thing you’ve been hiding inside and let it out.” Jennifer shook her head. “I can’t.” Jennifer whispered. “Yes you can; You have to. It’s eating you alive; I can see it.” She tried to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat, but it had refused to go down. “I-I-I’m-” “You can do it, go on.” Carol whispered. “I’m so…so…pathetic. A five year old felt like they had no other choice than to step up and save me.” Then everything was a blur. She was sobbing, no, bawling into Carols’ shoulder. How had they gotten to the couch? Why was Jennifers’ arms wrapped around her as if this woman was the only thing keeping her on this earth? Was she really being rocked back and forth? Why was she telling her all these secrets she had long since buried? “That’s it. That’s it. Let it all out. It’s alright. It’s alright.” “...and the worst part of all…I-I” Jennifer said. Now she was crying harder than she had ever cried. “Say it.” Carol whispered. “Get it out in the open; get it off your chest once and for all.” “I…I… had a…a…” Jennifer stammered. She couldn’t get the word out. It was stuck. “I can’t say it.” “An orgasm?” Carol offered. Jennifer nodded her head into Carols’ neck. “Is that what you’ve been so ashamed of?” Jennifer nodded again and felt Carol pull away from her. “Sweetheart.” Carol tucked a strand of hair behind Jennifer's ear. “It doesn’t mean what you think it means.” “How could it not?” Jennifer cried. “How could it not mean that I liked it like she said?” She shut her eyes. She could feel Carol wave a hand through her hair and shuddered. “Of course she would say that, Jen. She was manipulating you.” Carol let out a deep sigh. “How old were you?” “F-f-fourteen or f-fifteen.” “Oh, baby, no.” “It had been happening longer than that, but it was the first time I had ever… She said I had lost the right to say no since I obviously liked it, and that’s when she started burning me with the cigars. When I refused to…” “Oh, Jen.” Carol whispered. “It doesn’t mean you liked it.” “Why?” Jennifer croaked. “How?” “Think of it like an involuntary response to stimulation. Say for instance, if you were ticklish, and I ran my fingers up the bottoms of your feet, you’d probably laugh. But would you think it was funny?” “N-no.” Jennifer admitted. “Your body was most likely doing whatever it could to protect itself. That doesn’t make you dirty, or damaged, or a monster. Whatever it was she said to you to justify her actions; It was a lie.” Carol grabbed one of her hands again and squeezed. “You did nothing wrong. You have nothing to be ashamed of. It doesn’t matter what you had to do or convince yourself of to survive. You’re the victim. You. Did. Nothing. Wrong. Now say it.” “I-I-d-did…” “Go on.” Jennifer took a deep shaky breath. “I d-did n-nothing wrong.” “Yes.” Carol said before giving her a gentle warm smile. “How do you feel now?” It was like the bomb in her chest that had been nearing closer to 0:00 everyday had finally been diffused. She let out a weak, and shaky laugh. “B-better.” “I don’t expect you to magically be cured, but I hope this has helped clear some of the rubble so you can begin to lay a new foundation in your life, and maybe you can start to finally heal.” “Thank you.” Jennifer whispered. Her eyes went wide in surprise as a pair of lips pressed against the top of her head. She had never been shown so much affection and kindness from an adult before. She briefly wondered what it would have been like to have grown up with a mother, but shook the thought away. “Damn it, Matilda!” Carol said, suddenly sounding angry. Jennifer sat up in a panic. What had she done now? “I want to kill that woman, but she already beat me to it!” Jennifer let out a shaky laugh. “Now go make things right with her; I think she can handle the truth.” …… Jennifer poked her head in the spare bedroom and took in the room. It was a disaster. All of their things she had brought from home were scattered on the floor. She looked for damage in the walls, and in the decorations Carol had throughout the room, but apart from her and Matilda's things, everything was in their place. Jennifer let out a relieved breath of air. She scooted a pair of pants, the ones with large metal buttons on the front, with her foot. They noisily scraped across the floor. So that had been the source of the noise, she thought. And there, lying on top of the bed was the perpetrator, now fast asleep with a towel covering her like a blanket. Was that the cause of the mess? Was she only looking for something to cover up with? Maybe it wasn’t the pants, maybe it was dresser drawers opening and closing. But the screaming… She looked to the dresser then back to Matilda. Had she tried to force herself up to look in the drawers? Jennifer stood and tried to mentally put the pieces together. Say Matilda peed in her diaper which made her cold. She tried to get under the covers, but couldn’t. She screams in pain trying. She opens the dressers and closet looking for a blanket, but she can’t see, so she has to take everything out of the drawers, which explains the mess… The closest thing she can find is a towel. She wraps herself up in it and goes to sleep. Maybe she hadn’t thrown a tantrum after all… She couldn’t completely give her the benefit of the doubt though. She had said some cruel things. Well, Jennifer would have to see what the defendant had to say for herself. “I’m sorry,” came a tiny quiet voice before Jennifer had even made it to the bed. Oh, so she was awake after all. “Quite the mess you’ve made.” “It was hurting my eyes, and I was afraid of breaking Mrs. Rodgers’ things.” Then in a much softer voice full of emotion. “I wet the bed. I’m sorry.” Jennifer bit her lip. So the medication was going to affect her like this. “It’s alright. It’s not like I left you any other choice, did I? It’s not your fault.” “But I need to go again.” she whimpered. “Really bad.” Jennifer could see her legs jiggling under the towel. “It’s okay, go on. There’s a pad under you in case it leaks. You won’t hurt anything.” “It’s already wet.” Matilda mumbled. Jennifer frowned and removed the towel. She was greeted with a blast of ammonia. “Oh, sweetheart.” Jennifer said. She was soaked, the pad under her was soaked, even the blanket was damp, but she wasn’t 100% positive. So this was what she meant when she said she had wet the bed. She took in the squirming girl. She’d soak the bedding if she wet again and it wasn’t theirs. “I’ll go get the bed pan.” “Hurry.” Matilda moaned. Jennifer darted out of the room. Matilda was desperate. She wasn’t even begging to be taken to the toilet. Where was it? Where was it? Where was it? Why couldn’t she find it? “Everything okay?” Carol asked. “She’s soaked through everything in three hours, and she still has to go.” Carol whistled. “I might need to wash the bedding, I’m sorry.” She spotted the package of bed liners and grabbed one. This would have to do. She hurried back and spread the new liner out on the bed a little ways over. “You’ll have to pee on this. Ready?” She grabbed Matilda under the arms before she could respond, sat her up and quickly moved her over. Jennifer was a little surprised Matilda wasn’t scowling or protesting. She just sat there with a sort of dazed look on her face as her clenched body began to relax. “There’s a good girl; I’ll set you in a nice warm bath once you’re all done.” Jennifer tried not to make it obvious as she peeked into the discarded diaper Matilda had peeled off in preparation for the bed pan. She breathed a sigh of relief. No blood. “I wouldn’t have been scared.” Matilda said quietly. “Did you hear us talking?” Jennifer asked. Matilda nodded. “I guess you’ve figured out what the extra medicine does.” “I think I may have an idea. Can I take a bath now?” “All done?” Matilda nodded with a grimace. Now there was the disgust she had expected. Once she got her situated in the bath, Jennifer came back and lifted up the pads with a groan. She sighed. She shouldn’t have bought the cheapest ones. She stripped the bed and carried everything to the washer before going back to the bedroom and prying open the window to air out the room. She’d have to go back to the pharmacy and pick up better supplies. She’d need something a lot thicker, and maybe some pads to go in it as well. Jennifer wasn’t sure what to do. It wasn’t like she could just leave her in the bathtub to sleep at night. She had a funny thought of letting Matilda camp out in the backyard pantless, but she’d probably kill Carols’ lawn, and just the thought of sitting in the grass bare bottomed made Jennifer squirm. They’d figure something out though. This time she’d make sure to get Matilda’s opinion.

Miss Honey slept uneasy that night, once again plagued by old childhood nightmares. They seemed to be filled with a small tinge of hope as her small frame stood in front of her bedroom window staring out with just a smidgen of expectation. Someone would come for her. They had to. She had written the most honest detailing of her life in this hell and had given it to the largest and strongest looking man she had ever seen. He had to come for her. If not him, then the police. Someone. Anyone. Jennifer could feel a tear begin to streak down her face. This false sense of hope was the cruelest of all because she knew the ending of this story in this lucid dream. No one was coming to save her. She began to sob before slowly coming back to reality. It took Jennifer a moment to realize the sobbing hadn’t been coming from her dream at all. Or from her. She willed her eyes to adjust to the darkness. She scanned the room, searching for the source. Her eyes fell on the lump on the couch, and she remembered all at once. Matilda! She struggled out of the armchair she had been sleeping in, flicked on the table lamp, rushed to her side and knelt beside her. “Hey, sweetheart, it’s alright. Are you in pain?” She felt little arms fling themselves around her neck. It had been a rough night in the recliner, but the moment she felt the trembling girl in her arms she knew she had made the right choice. Not even a child as brave as Matilda could be unfazed by waking up in pain in the dark, alone and in an unfamiliar place. “I’ve got you. I’ve got you. ” Jennifer whispered. Miss Honey let her calm down a bit before trying to get an answer from her, but even then it took her a few tries to make sense of Matilda’s whimpered responses. Matilda was still disoriented either from the pain or the medicine, or both. “Would you like something for the pain, dear?” “Huh?” Matilda mumbled. She gave Jennifer a thousand yard stare. “Are you in pain?” She slowly nodded her head and looked around the room with wide frightened eyes. “Do you need anything else while I’m up? An extra blanket, or a change?” She put a hand to Matilda’s forehead, relieved at the lack of warmth. “A change of what?” Matilda asked, before turning to look at her. Miss Honey gave her a sympathetic smile and wondered if Matilda would remember any of this in the morning. “Are you wet?” Now Matilda looked more confused than ever. Instead of looking down, she looked up at the ceiling. “Why would I be wet? Is it raining?” Jennifer was both concerned and amused. “No, silly girl, let me take a look.” She pulled the blanket off, but couldn’t tell with the low lighting. “I’m not sitting on the remote.” Matilda mumbled. “You’re right, you’re not on the remote, and you’re still dry.” Jennifer announced after feeling the padding for herself, something Matilda normally would have complained about. Now, she just stared at her curiously with a somewhat blank expression. “Of course I’m dry; I’m inside. Why would I be wet?” “Well, because I told you if you needed to go potty in the night to use your diaper, but it looks like you didn’t need to.” “Oh.” Matilda said. She looked down, seemingly noticing it for the first time. “I need to.” Jennifer let out a breath. Okay, this was good, she thought, her bladder must have woken her up. The muscle relaxant wasn’t making her wet the bed. She didn’t want to see Matilda getting discouraged about that again. Hopefully, she’d just have to pee a little more than usual, and that was it. “Alright, I’ll go get you some medicine while you go potty, okay?” Matilda’s eyes were still staring at something far off in the distance, but she slowly nodded her head. “That’s a good girl, I’ll be right back.” She gave her a quick kiss on the top of her head before turning to the kitchen to get the pills when she heard Matilda groaning. Jennifer quickly spun around. “No, Matilda, down!” Even drugged out of her mind she was still trying to get up. “You’re going to hurt yourself even more, lay back down.” Matilda frowned at her in confusion. “But you told me to go potty.” “Yes, but I meant,” Jennifer pointed at her waist. “You’re supposed to be resting, remember?” “Oh.” “Do you understand? No getting up, okay?” “Okay.” Matilda mumbled. Jennifer lingered a little longer this time to make sure she stayed put. Once she was sure Matilda wasn’t going to go anywhere, Jennifer was about to turn and go when she noticed a peculiar expression on Matilda’s face. Jennifer stared at her for a moment. It almost looked like she was strain- “Woah! Woah! Stop! Stop!” Jennifer nearly shouted. Matilda stared up at her even more confused. “Not that! You didn’t say you needed to do that!” “But you told me to go potty.” “I know I did, just hold on a second.” Jennifer searched desperately for the shopping bag. Where was it? She spotted it, sitting on the kitchen counter. She ran to it and produced her other purchase before coming back. Jennifer ripped the tapes off Matilda’s now wet diaper, praying it wasn’t too late. She breathed a sigh of relief. All clear. She lifted Matilda up by the legs as gently as she could before sliding the bed pan underneath her. “There, now you can go.” … Matilda awoke to the sound of cackling coming from somewhere behind her. She opened her eyes and looked around. This wasn’t where she last remembered being. She tried to think back. The last thing she remembered was being in the emergency room and then… nothing. How had she gotten here? And where was “here” exactly? She tried to sit up, but stopped when she was greeted to a world of pain. Matilda quietly groaned and grabbed her side. Ugh, Hortensia. No ten-year-old girl should be that strong. She tried to remind herself Hortensia had probably saved her life, but the pain in her ribs and side told her to curse her and all her descendants. “Aww what’s wrong Jen, don’t want to change a poopy diaper?” a voice said before cackling again. “It completely took me off guard. She throws a fit whenever someone suggests she pees in one. She’s only ever done the other thing twice and both times it was because she was violently throwing up. I’m so glad I bought the other thing, I was queasy enough dumping that out. I don’t think I could have handled scraping it all off her backside.” “You get used to it.” “Oh, are you volunteering?” “Hey, I did my time. You’re the one who tried to skip this phase and cheat.” “Mom?” Matilda asked. “Uh-oh, looks like she’s awake. You ready for an earthquake?” “Shush.” Matilda heard a chair scrape before light footsteps began to approach. Matilda felt nervous for some reason. She scooted as far back as she could against the couch’s armrest and away from the sound before throwing her blanket over her head. Why did she have the growing suspicion she was in trouble for something? “Good morning, Matilda.” She felt the blanket get lowered off her face. “How are you feeling?” “Like I want to curse Hortensia.” She grumbled back. “My granddaughter might be able to help you with that.” Mrs. Rodgers said coming into view. Matilda’s surroundings finally clicked into place. She had been here before for Christmas. It was Mrs. Rogers' house. Why were they here now though? “Don’t give her any ideas.” Ms. Honey said before turning back to her. “The doctor gave you some pain pills last night, I’ll get you one. Do you need me to crush it into something, or can you swallow it?” Matilda wasn’t sure. She had never tried to take pills before. “I think I can swallow it.” “I’ll bring you some water, and if that doesn’t work, you can try some applesauce with it.” Matilda sat herself up as best she could. She debated asking Mrs. Rodgers what had happened after she fell asleep last night, but the thought of opening her mouth and talking sounded exhausting. What she really wanted was to go back to sleep, but she knew Miss Honey would be on her case about getting ready for school. She had never felt less like going to school than she did at that moment. “Why are there three of them?” Matilda groggily asked once Miss Honey handed them to her. “The doctor said you need to take one of each every four hours.” Miss Honey said. “He said it will help you heal faster.” “It’s big.” Matilda said. She picked up the large white one in the palm of her hand and examined it. “That’s for the pain.” Miss Honey explained. “Do you need me to cut it in half?” “I don’t know.” Matilda mumbled, fighting to keep her eyes open. “I can give you some Tylenol instead, but this will work much better.” Matilda wrinkled her nose in disgust. Just the thought of the sickly tasting cherry syrup made her feel ill. She picked up the large pill and put it in her mouth before trying to flush it down with water. It took a few tries, but it finally went down, but not before semi dissolving in her mouth. She hurriedly drank more water in an attempt to flush the chalky bitter after taste from her mouth. “Did you get it down?” Miss Honey asked in surprise. Matilda nodded with a grimace before moving onto the next pill. It took her just as many tries, but she was relieved the capsule left no trail of substance in her mouth or down her throat. The last was the easiest of all. She tried to hand the half full cup of water back when she had finished, but Miss Honey was adamant she drink it all. “It’ll keep the pills from coming back up.” Matilda scowled. One taste of that pain pill was enough for her. “Give it about a half hour and you should feel better soon, but in the meantime, eat this and then we need to get ready to go.” Matilda ate her yogurt in silence while fighting against the urge to go back to sleep. She wondered if Miss Honey would let her sleep in class like the last time she had gotten hurt. “All done?” Matilda nodded and handed over her half eaten yogurt. Miss Honey looked down at it and frowned. “You need to eat more than this.” “I’m not hungry.” Matilda mumbled. “Two more bites.” Matilda stared at Miss Honey in mild disbelief as she scooped up a spoonful and held it in front of Matilda’s mouth. “Open.” Matilda opened her mouth to complain, but before she could get any words out, Miss Honey had taken the liberty of shoving a spoonful in. Matilda gave her a puzzled look before swallowing. This time when Miss Honey began to come forward with another serving, Matilda tried to take the spoon from her and feed herself, but Miss Honey ignored her outstretched hand. “I’m glad to see you’re more with it than you were last night. Are you sure you don’t want anymore?” Matilda waved it away. She felt too full from the large glass of water earlier. She watched Miss Honey, now feeling a bit apprehensive, as she scooped up more yogurt onto the spoon in fear of getting force fed again, but relaxed as she watched her finish it off herself. “Last night? In the hospital?” Matilda asked. Miss Honey’s sunny disposition faltered for a moment. “Do you remember waking up in the middle of the night?” “No.” Matilda said. Had she? She racked her brain trying to remember, but all she could recall was their time in the emergency room. “For the best. You weren't acting yourself.” “What happened?” Matilda asked suspiciously. Mrs. Rodgers let out a snort of laughter. “It’s…nothing, don’t worry about it.” Miss Honey said with a fake looking smile. Matilda forced herself up a little more, her desire for sleep now forgotten. “What did I do?” Matilda said horrified. “You didn’t do anything, sweetheart.” Miss Honey said. Matilda narrowed her eyes and looked to Mrs. Rodgers. “It’s more what you tried to do.” Mrs. Rodgers said. “Carol!” “What did I try to do?!” Matilda asked looking from Mrs. Rodgers to Miss Honey. “You were trying to leave your mom a present.” Mrs. Rodgers said with a snicker. “Carol, don’t tease her.” Miss Honey said before turning back to Matilda. “It was my fault. You woke up needing to go potty, so I told you to go ahead and use your diaper.” Miss Honey said before averting her eyes. “I didn’t realize you meant you needed to…” “I didn’t!” Matilda said horrified. She looked down, only now realizing for the first time she was wearing one. “You didn’t, don’t worry.” Miss Honey said. “I just noticed you were making a funny face, so I stopped you and got you situated in time.” Matilda stared at her horrified. “Why didn’t you just take me to the restroom in the first place?” She got another sad look in return. “Honey, if I set you on the toilet last night, you would have just fallen right off. You could hardly even make eye contact with me.” “Well obviously I didn’t since you had to take me there anyway.” Matilda frowned when Miss Honey avoided her eyes. “I didn’t, did I?” “No, you didn’t.” “See? Now can I take this off and go to the bathroom?” All the water inside her was making her front and sides ache. “ Because I didn’t take you to the restroom last night.” Miss Honey said. “And no,” she added before taking a deep breath. “You can’t take the diaper off.” Matilda stared up at her at a loss for words. “Okay, I’m sorry.” Matilda said before taking a deep breath of her own. “Can I please take this diaper off and will you please take me to the restroom?” Matilda frowned. There was that pitying look in Miss Honey’s eyes again. “No.” Matilda gritted her teeth. She wasn’t in the mood for puzzles and mind games. The building pressure was beginning to throb. She winced and held her stomach. If Miss Honey was looking for the right phrase or wording, she was cruel to use now as a teaching moment. She racked her brain, but she only had one idea left. “Will you please take this diaper off and-” “No.” Matilda gaped up at her. “I’m sorry, sweetheart.” Matilda could feel tears begin to sting her eyes. “Why?” “Matilda, please go so I can get you ready. I need to go to work.” “Mom, why?” Matilda croaked out. “Jen, if you plan to go through with this, maybe you should call out today?” Mrs. Rodgers suggested. “Hell, let's all three of us play hooky.” “Carol, I can’t, what about the kids?” “Jen, I think this kid needs you more.” Mrs. Rodgers turned to Matilda. “Do you want to go to school today?” Matilda adamantly shook her head. “See? Why don’t you explain what’s going on, and I’ll talk to Mr. Trilby.” Jennifer looked back between the two of them before reluctantly nodding. “I’ve missed so many days though.” Jennifer groaned. “Jen, have you ever considered going out on maternity leave?” “Maternity leave? Since when have we ever had maternity leave? And it’s not like I had a baby.” “We’ve always had it, but Agatha just terrified everyone too much to use it. Remember Rachel Davine? Agatha forced her to stay until the moment her water broke in the middle of class, then tried to bully her into coming back the next day. No wonder she quit.” Matilda watched as she picked the phone off of the wall and began dialing the school's number. “You don’t need to have a baby, it’s also available if you adopt so you can bond with the child.” “I never thought about it.” Miss Honey said. “Please,” Matilda said in a desperate voice as Miss Honey turned to look at her. “Please can I use the restroom? I’m not going to hurt myself and neither will you. You’re not as rough as Eve, please?” Miss Honey had indecision written all over her face. Just another push and Matilda was sure she’d give in. Mrs. Rodgers seemed to have the same suspicion though. “Stick to your guns, Jen. Don’t half ass this.” “I’m sorry, Matilda, but no.” Miss Honey finally said as she knelt beside her. “You’ll have to pee in the diaper.” “But why? I need to go to the bathroom anyway to brush my teeth! You’re just making it worse for yourself.” “No, Matilda, the only one making this worse for themselves is you. The sooner you stop arguing and pee, the sooner you’ll feel better.” Now Matilda could feel a tear escape and slowly fall down her face. “Why?” she tried to ask, but all that would come out was a squeak. “Because, sweetheart, starting today, you’re grounded.” Matilda’s mouth fell open. She had expected “for safety” or for “ease”, but punishment? Punishment for what? “Y-you put me in diapers to p-p-punish me?” Matilda asked, flabbergasted. She didn’t understand. This had to be a joke! She couldn’t be doing this to her! Miss Honey had always been reasonable and level headed, but this was anything but! “Don’t cry, baby, it’s only for a week.” “A week!?” Matilda nearly shouted. “I don’t understand why you’re doing this! Where’s the logic?” Miss Honey tried to grab her hand, but Matilda yanked it away. “You deliberately disobeyed me, Matilda. I told you she was dangerous. I told you not to rile her up, but you went behind my back and did it anyway. As a result, you got seriously hurt.” “B-b-but that was weeks ago! The Trunchbull had to be stopped, how could you expect me to sit back and not do anything when she’s killing kids. I know who Billy Reyes was, he was Hortensia’s friend. She killed him, didn’t she?” “We are not talking about that, we are talking about you using your mind and powers to purposefully hurt other people. That’s why you’re grounded. I know what you think you did was right, and I appreciate you wanting to stick up for me, I really do, but Matilda, if what you told me was true, that’s manslaughter, or worse, first degree murder.” “I-I-I just wanted to scare her!” Matilda said, breaking down into sobs, “I wasn’t trying to kill her!” “What if instead of driving off a cliff, she drove onto the sidewalk and seriously hurt someone? Or crashed into another car? What were you thinking? That was very irresponsible of you. I expected better.” “A-a-are you going to call the cops?” Matilda asked tearfully. “No, Matilda, I’m not going to tell anyone, but I want to impress upon you the seriousness of what you’ve done. I’ve given it a lot of thought, and I’ve decided the best way to let that message sink in is to take away the thing you value most. Your independence. You’re going to have to learn to trust the adults in your life to take care of things from here on out. I understand you’ve never had a good example of that, and I know I myself haven’t stepped up when I should have, but that’s going to change.” Matilda scowled. She knew she deserved it; the guilt inside of her had been almost as unbearably painful as the pain in her side, but to ground her from the toilet?! What was Miss Honey thinking?! “Couldn’t you take away my books or something?” Matilda mumbled. “I thought about it, but I decided that would be too cruel. You don’t have many options to pass the time and I’m not about to take away your one escape.” “You could ground me from the telly, that’s what Eve does to Hortensia.” Matilda offered. Miss Honey gave her a puzzled but amused look. “Nice try.” Miss Honey said. “Please, not this, Jenny, I'll do all the arts and crafts you want! I won’t even use my powers! Please!” Matilda begged, but this only seemed to make her frown. “I thought we were passed calling me Jenny.” “Fine, mom, mommy, whatever you want; I’ll do all the laundry, the dishes, I’ll cook all the meals…” Matilda pleaded. Miss Honey sighed before standing back up. “You’re missing the whole point. I’m not trying to make you grow up. Making you take on more responsibility is the last thing I want.” “But…” “The answer is ‘no’ Matilda, end of discussion.” Matilda silently seethed. “What kind of parent grounds their kid from the toilet?” Matilda spat. She could see Miss Honey stop in her tracks. “Do you want a time out on top of everything else?” She asked without turning around. “Because that’s what you’re going to get if you don’t drop this attitude right now.” “No, Miss Honey.” Matilda said through clenched teeth. She could see Jennifer stiffen in place before slowly turning around to face her. Matilda was expecting her to be angry, but instead she just looked sad. Matilda watched apprehensivly as she walked to the edge of the couch, grabbed something out of a bag and headed to the back of the house. A few seconds later she was standing in front of Matilda. “Sit up.” she ordered. “No.” “Have it your way.” Without another word, Matilda felt hands dig underneath her and lift her up. “Stop it; that hurts!” Matilda yelled. “Put me down!” “Then you should have listened to me the first time.” Matilda struggled to get out of Miss Honey’s grasp, but it only made the woman grip her tighter. “Stop moving, do you want me to drop you?” “If it gets me away from you, then yes!” Matilda yelled back. She tried to turn to see where they were going, but all she could see was the ceiling. It wasn’t until she had been deposited on a disposable mat on the bed did she realize she was in the bedroom Mrs. Roger's granddaughter had been staying in during the Christmas holidays. “You can come back out when you learn how to be a good girl.” Miss Honey said. “You can come back in when you learn how to be a good mother!” Matilda yelled back. Miss Honey turned and left, slamming the bedroom door behind her and leaving Matilda alone with her thoughts.

I really liked this! Thank you for writing it. It feels like more places are making it taboo to write from the point of view of a child, so more innocent nonsexual stories are getting harder to find.

The hospital was the same as last time. The same dreary atmosphere. The same white walls. The same nurse who stood at the foot of her gurney, hands on her hips, giving her a disapproving stare. “Miss Matilda, back so soon? What trouble have you gotten yourself into this time?” The nurse glanced at the chart. “Chest and abdominal injuries. Let me guess, slammed into your bike's handle bars?” Matilda shook her head with a weak smile. “Trampoline accident?” Matilda shook her head again. “Rollerskating while hanging on to the back of your mom's car bumper?” “Heimlich.” Matilda said. “Sort of.” Mrs. Rodgers threw in. “I’ve got kids in here almost every day with broken bones from skateboarding, trying to jump homemade ramps on their bikes, the list goes on, but you’re telling me you got hurt while eating?” Matilda flashed a guilty sort of grimace. She hadn’t wanted to go to the hospital, there was nothing they could do for her anyway. Matilda had begged Miss Honey to take her home every half hour that had passed in the waiting room without getting called. The hospital seemed to be packed today. Geriatric patients in wheelchairs complaining of chest pains and headaches filled the emergency room taking precedence over her cracked rib. Finally, after about three and a half hours, she had been called back. Miss Honey had had to carry her in. She was in so much pain from sitting up in the chair for so long she could hardly give her name and the reason for her visit. She had even ignored all attempts at small talk from the triage nurse up front who had taken her vitals in an attempt to reign in her psychic powers as they had a tendency to get away from her whenever she was hurt or upset. The last thing she wanted to do was cause a panic, although she wondered if she would be seen faster if half the emergency room left in fear of the place being haunted. “She’d also been tackled this morning by a larger child.” Miss Honey threw in. “Ah, the truth comes out, you were rough housing.” the nurse said. Matilda didn’t feel like correcting her. It sounded better than she had gotten hurt while eating and pooping, two supposedly mundane activities. “Well, let’s take a look. Go ahead and strip down and change into this gown with the opening in the front. Mom, if you want to help her.” She gestured down to Matilda, who could hardly move. By the time they had gotten her undressed, with many yelps and grunts of pain, Miss Honey decided the gown wasn’t worth the trouble of getting it on her, but Matilda insisted. If she was going to be in the hospital, she wanted the whole experience, patient identification on her wrist, oxygen monitor on her finger, and exposed bare butt in the open. She had regretted her choice the moment they had to sit her up. She had regretted a lot of her choices today. At least she was out of her wet pants, Matilda thought, hugging the dry gown around her front. Three hours ago they had asked her for a urine sample. Matilda had thrown logic to the wind (she blamed the pain) and insisted she didn’t need help. She had even snapped at Miss Honey when she had tried to follow her in. Matilda had run into her first problem right away as soon as she had closed the bathroom door behind her. She couldn’t get on the toilet. No matter, she had thought, she didn’t need to pee in the toilet, she just needed to pee in this cup. So instead of apologizing to Miss Honey and asking for help, she instead had the bright idea to use her powers and make the cup float in midair while she stood over it. Only, once she had finally managed to lower her pants enough and get into position, she found to her great disbelief, her plan had backfired. Instead of going into the cup like she had planned, it merely trickled down her left thigh and into her pant leg. When Miss Honey had come in to check on her, she found Matilda in tears trying to dry her pants under the hand dryer. Matilda had fully expected a scolding, she knew she deserved one. Instead of rubbing it in her face or lecturing her, Miss Honey had simply helped her clean up as best she could, before they had to explain to triage they couldn’t get a sample. “You’ll have to try again later.” When they got back to their seats in the waiting room, Matilda clung onto Miss Honey’s arm and held it against herself. It was the closest she could get to a hug at the moment. “I’m sorry,” Matilda mumbled. “I can’t believe I did that.” Miss Honey smiled gently at her. “We all do silly things when we aren’t feeling up to par. Let me help me you next time.” Matilda wasn’t happy about it, but she nodded her head in agreement. “Tell me when you’re ready.” It took a little over an hour before she thought she could try again. Miss Honey helped her down from the chair and stood her on her feet as Matilda whimpered. Unfortunately, they had lent out all their wheelchairs they had available, so she was forced to get up and down from the chair, each attempt growing more painful than the last. Now armed with a new specimen jar, Matilda hobbled over to the bathroom, Miss Honey now beside her. “Just pretend I’m not here.” Miss Honey said. Matilda pursed her lips. It was a little hard to do with Miss Honey crouched in front of her while Matilda sat with legs splayed open on the toilet. She’s my mother not my teacher. She’s my mother not my teacher, Matilda chanted in her head as she closed her eyes and relaxed. She hoped Miss Honey was able to catch it because there was no way she was doing this again. “Is that it?” Matilda nodded, still refusing to open her eyes. “It should be enough.” Then the worst possible thing happened. Miss Honey must have forgotten to lock the door because suddenly the door was forcefully swung open and in strolled another woman. Matilda thought It must have looked bad seeing an adult reaching their hand under a child's privates, because Matilda had never seen Miss Honey jump away from her so animatedly. The woman had merely apologized and left, but the damage had already been done. “Uh, mom, you dropped the cup in the toilet.” “So I hear you’re 0 for 2 on the urine collection.” the nurse said when she came back once Matilda had been changed into her gown. “Third times a charm.” Matilda could see she was holding another specimen jar. She shook her head adamantly. “I can’t.” Matilda said. Just the thought of trying to climb down off the bed was enough to break out in a sweat and feel woozy. It didn’t help that she hadn’t eaten anything since last night’s applesauce. “Still empty?” the nurse asked. Matilda nodded. She supposed she could have if she tried, it had been nearly an hour since the last attempt, but she had no interest in getting up and repeating the process. “We have ways to fix that.” Matilda watched her leave behind the curtain. She breathed a sigh of relief and closed her eyes. Finally, she could rest for a bit. At least that was what she thought. No sooner had the nurse left than she had returned carrying a cup of something. “Bottoms up.” she handed the cup to Matilda who looked inside and saw it was water. Matilda sighed and downed the cup before handing it back. Before she could even get comfortable, she was handed another. And another. And another. By the time she was handed a fifth cup, she could only take small sips. She felt so full and bloated now. “Ready to go yet?” “No,” Matilda lied even though she could hardly keep her legs from shuffling around. She refused to meet the nurse's all knowing eyes. “Matilda, how about we go try again?” Miss Honey suggested before lowering her voice, “you’re dancing around quite a bit.” “I don’t have to.” “Matilda.” Miss Honey said, much sterner sounding now. Matilda whimpered before motioning her to come closer. “I can’t get up; it hurts too much.” “Oh. Even if I carry you?” Matilda nodded. “Is there a problem?” the nurse asked looking between Matilda and Miss Honey. “Can you give her something for the pain?” Miss Honey asked. “She says it’s too painful to get up.” “Is that what’s wrong? We can work around that.” Matilda scowled when she returned with a familiar looking pink object. If they would just give her something for the pain, she could get up and do it normally. “Ready?” Before Matilda could object, she was physically twisted, lifted and manipulated in the blink of an eye until she was lying on top of it with her gown wide open. She really did need to pee, but this was too much. “Well?” Matilda stuttered out a weak objection. “Best to just get it over with.” Miss Honey whispered. Matilda silently grumbled. Why did this always happen to her lately? She felt like she was stuck in a never ending loop of getting hurt or sick. She stared at the ceiling tiles and tried to focus on the relief of the pressure ebbing away and not on the three adults watching her pee. Matilda made a disgusted face when she was done. She felt just as wet now as she would have if she had gone in a pull-up. Angles and gravity were not her friend today. “There, that wasn’t so hard now, was it? Just sit tight for a bit, the doctor will probably want to do some labs as well. I’ll bring you something for the pain in a bit.” It had only taken a few minutes for the nurse to return. Matilda thought it was odd she seemed to be avoiding eye contact with her as she put something into her IV, but in a few moments, Matilda was far from caring. She laid her head back on the pillow and sighed in relief. The world around her was fading and dimming. The pain, while still there, didn’t feel nearly as excruciating. She could almost even say she was comfortable. “My apologies,” Matilda heard coming from far away now, “I got distracted when I left your room earlier by another nurse. I sort of forgot what I had intended to do, and I flushed your urine sample. I’ll need another when you can.” . . . Jennifer stared at the prescriptions dropped off by the bedside. It was nearly ten at night and Matilda was out cold. She doubted the girl had even heard the doctor come in and talk to them. It was a broken rib, and just like Eve said, there wasn’t much anything could be done other than time and rest. But there was something else that worried Miss Honey. It could have been something, or it could have been nothing, the doctor wasn’t positive. It could have just been a blip on the film, but there was a possibility one of her kidneys could have been injured, and there were small traces of blood in her urine. It was invisible to the naked eye, but it had been detected all the same. Matilda needed to do another test with contrast to be sure, but it would be impossible tonight with the water she had consumed. The nurse from before came back with an appointment card a week from then and instructions on home care. A part of Jennifer was glad Matilda had slept through this. Would Matilda be scared to learn she needed to be on the lookout for blood? What kid wouldn’t be? If her at home remedy was to flush her kidneys, but she was scared of blood, would she try to put it off as long as possible? Even if the doctors had impressed she can’t put it off? So Miss Honey brought up her concern. “No, I mean, she really can’t, that’s why I’m writing her prescriptions for a muscle relaxant and an over the counter diuretic. Now if there is blood in the urine, or any swelling in her limbs, come back to the emergency room.” Then he started taking worse case scenario: Dialysis, Catheters, and kidney transplants. Miss Honey’s head was spinning. The car ride had been mostly silent until they had gotten a few blocks from Mrs. Rodger’s house. “How do I tell her?” Jennifer whispered. “She was so happy to be out of pull-ups, but this medicine makes it sound like it’s going to set her back.” “I mean her no ill will, but limited mobility, diuretics, and muscle relaxants.” Carol grimaced and pulled into a nearby parking lot instead of heading for home. Miss Honey frowned. Why were they back at the pharmacy? “Do me a favor? I know you don’t like to disappoint her, but, well, maybe pull-ups aren’t the answer?” Miss Honey sighed. “What if she won’t take the medicine if she knows what it’s going to do to her?” “Then don’t tell her. At least you can check for bleeding without her knowing.” “She’s going to demand to know why she’s in a diaper.” “Just tell her it’s the same reason Eve had her in one, so she doesn’t have to hurt herself getting up and down. If everything's good and well, and she’s not seriously injured, she’ll soak through the pull-ups, just letting you know.” “Okay, I’ll get some.” Jennifer said with a sigh. “If there is something wrong, what’s the first sign?” “Blood in the urine and retention. Peeing uncontrollably is better than not peeing at all. She can restrengthen her muscles, but she can’t regrow them.” Miss Honey gave one last look to the girl asleep in the backseat. “Sorry, baby.” she whispered before sliding out of the car.

Is that all you guys think about lol jk

“Look, this boy is clearly crying. Don't you recognize him?" "Yes, I recognize Billy Reyes." Matilda was lost in thought, so lost in thought even that she hadn't even put up a fight when Cynthia put her back in a diaper with only one of Hortensia's shirts to cover it. "Let's stay in your room." Matilda said. Hortensia looked at her hesitantly. "Only if you promise not to shit in my bed." Matilda rolled her eyes. "I believe you." Matilda said when they were left alone. "About your friend." The name had been driving her nuts. She knew she had heard it before, but she never connected it to the missing boy Hortensia had told her about. One of several, she remembered. "I don't think he ran away either." Hortensia perked up. "I knew you were smart." "When Miss Honey had her, um, episode, we were at her aunts house cleaning it out. She found a box full of dirty magazines and, uh, adult toys. One of them actually fell open on top of her, it was pretty hilarious." Hortensia wrinkled her face in disgust. "No wonder she had to go to the hospital. I would too if something that had been in the Trunchbull touched me. Miss Honey probably has leprosy now." "That's not how you get leprosy, it's not an STD, anyway, when she was putting them away-" "What's an STD?" Hortensia asked. "Oh," Matilda bit her lip. It was one of Miss Honey's cardinal rules-She let her learn about anything she wanted to, including human biology, but only on two conditions. She couldn't ask Jenny any more personal questions about her private life, and she couldn't share what she learned with the other kids. It was strictly for educational purposes only. "It's nothing, it's just a family of illness, like viral or bacterial." Hortensia narrowed her eyes at her. "You're lying." "Do you want to hear what happened or not?" Hortensia grumbled but waved a hand to go on. “When she was picking up everything off the floor they found a couple pictures. I didn’t see them, but then Miss Honey and Mrs. Rodger’s started freaking out and called the police. I may have, sort of been eavesdropping and heard them mention one of the pictures had been of Billy Reyes.” “Why would she have a picture of him?” Hortensia asked with a scowl. Matilda had a good idea why. The timing of Jennifer’s escape and Billy Reyes abduction was a little too coincidental. It also explained the crushing weight of guilt Matilda had been feeling via Jennifer. Miss Trunchbull was a woman who had demanded absolute control and having her live in play thing slip out of her fingers must have been a crushing blow to her pride. If Billy had been anywhere near as troublesome as Hortensia, what better way to feel in control again than to flex her power over a student she saw as a nuisance. “As a trophy.” Matilda said. Hortensia remained silent for a long time. If real life was like a cartoon, Matilda was positive she would have been seeing smoke coming out of her ears. “I knew it. I knew she’d accidentally kill someone some day. You can’t just throw kids out a window or over a fence and expect them to be fine.” Matilda didn’t have the heart to tell her it most likely wasn’t an accident. She had a feeling he was targeted. From what she had overheard, he was locked in Jennifer’s room, and he had been crying when the picture was taken. Matilda felt a horrible sick feeling. There was a reason the picture had been in that box. Matilda winced as she slowly situated herself into a more comfortable position. She didn’t want to think about this anymore. She didn’t need the reminder of what Miss Honey had gone through and how powerless Matilda was to help. Jennifer tried so hard to keep the truth from her, but Matilda knew. Matilda had always known. It was in the way the woman carried herself, and the way Miss Honey shied away from another’s touch. It was in the way she couldn’t make eye contact, and most of all, it was in her nightmares. The first time Matilda heard Jenny beg in her sleep for her aunt to stop, she had silently cried in bed next to her. “Would you read to me?” Matilda asked without looking up. “Uh, what? You can read just fine on your own.” Hortensia said after a long pause. “Just until I fall asleep. Please? It doesn’t matter what, I just don’t want to think anymore.” Matilda would listen to a microwave manual if that’s all Hortensia was willing to read. Without saying a word, the older girl got up and rummaged in her closet for a bit before coming back with a comic book. “X-men is one of my favorites.” Hortensia read awkwardly at first, but after a few minutes she seemed to forget she had an audience. Matilda was in and out of consciousness as she listened. At one point she could have sworn the door had opened, and a voice had said something along the lines of “adorable.” By the time Matilda had lifted her head, the door was closed and there was no one else in the room but her and a red-faced Hortensia. After a few more minutes, she was gone entirely. …… Jennifer was sitting at the kitchen table, her face resting against the cool wood. She had the worst headache she had ever had in her life. The lights in the kitchen were dimmed to only a small glow, and she had been nursing a cup of tea Carol had made for her. “What have we learned?” Carol asked with an amused look on her face. “You’re not a real nurse.” Jennifer mumbled. Carol chuckled. “I was going to say drink more water next time.” “No next time.” She felt nauseous and shaky. Jennifer had a hard time believing people did this for fun. “These will help.” Jennifer was reluctant to take anything Carol offered her at this point, but when she looked up, she was relieved to find it was just a bottle of Excedrin. She poured two tablets out and took them with her hot tea. “I was going to bring you some water.” “I’m not sure if it was from, umm, what we were doing last night or what, but have you ever had a memory, and you’re not sure whether it really happened or if it was just a dream?” Jennifer asked after a moment of silence. “Probably from what we were doing last night, especially if it was your first time, although those joints were the weakest things i’ve ever had. I didn’t even get high. I doubt you did either given how old they were. We most likely just smoked an empty wrapper and dust.” Jennifer frowned. Then why all the spinning? “Placebos are a powerful thing.” Carol said as if answering Jennifer's unspoken question. “Then I was just drunk?” “If you were, you’ve got the lowest tolerance to alcohol I’ve ever seen. That wine was only 4% alcohol.” Carol said amused. “I have no idea what that means.” Jennifer admitted. “A normal wine is around 13%. You drank the equivalent of one, maybe two light beers. You may have been a little buzzed, but certainly not drunk. Just enough to get you to drop your guard a bit and loosen up.” Jennifer scowled. “You tricked me?” “You think i’m going to bring you over and get you drunk and high after having a mental break-down? I didn’t even intend for you to get buzzed.” Jennifer hid her face in her hands. All those things she had told Carol, and she hadn’t even been under the influence of anything. A horrifying thought crossed through her head. “And the lotion?” “That was real. I wouldn’t give you anything to put down there that wasn’t meant to be. That’s a good way to get an infection.” Jennifer let out her held breath. “Why do I feel so sick if I didn’t do anything?” “Some people have a bad reaction to alcohol, even in small amounts. You could be one of them. So what was this dream you weren’t sure was a dream?” “I think,” Jennifer paused to try and remember more. She had been positive it had been a memory when she had woken up, but now it was fading back into her subconscious. “I think there was a time I did ask for help. I wrote a letter and gave it to someone.” Jennifer frowned. “I gave it to a giant.” Maybe it had been a dream after all. “A giant?” Carol asked. “Not a literal giant, I was a little girl then, and he was the tallest man I had ever seen. I must have given the letter to him because he looked like he could take my aunt. In my dream, or whatever it was, I had put so much hope in him coming to rescue me, but in the end, nothing had ever come of it.” “Where did you see the man? Out shopping, or at a bus stop?” “He was at school.” Jennifer said. “Although I don’t think I’ve ever seen him since.” “It could be a memory,” Carol said after thinking about it, “or a mix of both. The mind can’t make up faces in a dream. They’re always people you’ve seen before.” “We never did find what she did with the missing money.” Jennifer said. “Or the missing kids.” “I don’t think you should be thinking about that right now.” Carol said. “Mr. Trilby’s set up a meeting for tomorrow with the board of education to go over the missing funds. He wants to introduce me as next year's new headmistress.” Jennifer said. There was a sour taste in her mouth at the thought. “Or that.” Carol chirped. “How about once you’re feeling a bit better, we go pick up Matilda and play some board games here. Something to keep your mind off current events.” She felt another pang of guilt. She had forgotten about their fight. Fight? It was Jennifer who had shoved her away. Jennifer rubbed at her temples and sighed. Best to get it over with as soon as possible. Maybe she wouldn’t be too angry with her… she hoped. The memory of Matilda, tears streaming down her face while mouthing her safe word played over and over in her head. It was hard to believe it had only been yesterday. Jennifer had been so lost in thought she hadn’t noticed Carol get up from the table until she felt a hand on her shoulder. She jumped on instinct and nearly spilled her half drunken cup of tea. “Relax.” Carol whispered. She shuddered again when she felt something make contact with the top of her head, before gently sliding down. Jennifer sat in the chair feeling both on guard and puzzled. It took her a near solid minute until she realized what was happening. Carol was brushing her hair. She wasn’t sure how to feel. She felt irritated at the invasion of her personal space, and yet, she felt touched. No one had ever brushed her hair before. It was such an odd, yet intimate gesture. Jennifer was surprised to find she felt disappointed when Carol had finished. “Thank you.” Jennifer said quietly unsure of what else to say. “Scalp massages increases the blood flow and helps with headaches.” “Oh, I see.” Jennifer said, rubbing at her upper arms in an attempt to lower the goose bumps that had risen there. “Well, let me know when you’re feeling up to going over there.” Jennifer picked up her cup and downed the rest of its contents in three large gulps before setting it back down. “Let’s go.” When they knocked on the front door, Jennifer was surprised when a stranger, and not Eve, answered the door. She did a double take at the address to silence the intrusive thoughts which told her she really was high from last night, and was now standing naked in a random neighborhood inquiring about a daughter she didn’t have. She subtly padded her blouse just in case. “Are you here for Matilda?” the stranger asked before Jennifer could formulate a sentence. “Yes!” Jennifer said a bit too enthusiastically. She inwardly cringed and silently chastised herself to act normal. “You must be Miss Honey, come in.” The stranger beckoned them in. Jennifer wrinkled her nose when they stepped inside. The house smelled strongly of cleaning products. The stranger led them into the living room where three or four rags were laying on a large wet patch of carpet in front of the couch. “Sorry about the smell, there was an incident this morning.” “What kind of incident?” Carol asked. The stranger looked glum. “I’ve been trying to potty-train my youngest son, but he’s shown little to no interest until today.” The stranger shifted her feet, now looking more uncomfortable. “Matilda had a bit of an upset tummy this morning and couldn’t hold it until she got to the restroom.” “Oh no, not on the carpet.” Miss Honey said with a wince. “Umm, no. She ended up using my son’s training potty.” “Oh.” Poor Matilda, she must be sick again. “She must have been positive she wouldn’t have made it.” “And my son saw this, and, tackled her off.” The stranger admitted with a grimace. Carol let out a snort of laughter. “I’m sorry, I’m just picturing her getting blindsided by a baby.” Carol said. “He must have really caught her by surprise.” “He sent the whole thing flying, both the kids and the carpet ended up getting covered in…yeah.” she gestured to the rags and damp patch on the floor. “Hortensia’s been a big help with her today, got her all cleaned up and calmed down for me.” The stranger lowered her voice and leaned in. “I’m honestly still in shock, I haven’t seen this side of ‘Tens in years. I even walked in on her reading out loud to Matilda. It was adorable.” Jennifer smiled. Matilda had a way of getting past the walls people erected. Jennifer herself had always wondered what Matilda saw in that foul-mouthed troublemaker, but she must have seen past Hortensia’s hard exterior. Who knew the school bully would have a soft side? “She left on her bike saying she was going down to the corner store to get a ginger ale for Matilda’s stomach but,” the stranger looked at her watch and frowned, “that was nearly an hour ago.” “Where is Matilda?” Jennifer asked. She was growing increasingly anxious the more she put off their reunion. “She’s sleeping in Hortensia’s room. I’ll go wake her up and let her know you’re here.” Jennifer was tempted to go get her herself, but she felt going into one of the students rooms without them was crossing a line somehow. Suddenly, she felt an elbow bump her. She turned to see Carol pointing something out to her-no not something, someone. A very large someone. “You don’t suppose he’s the one who knocked her down, do you?” Carol asked. Jennifer stared at the massive child and felt a wave of worry. Looking at him from the back, she would have assumed he was nearly eight, but when he turned around, she saw he barely had any teeth and a line of drool and snot were trailing from his mouth and nose. The young boy turned and made eye contact with them. His eyes narrowed in a glare, and he stomped his foot. “MINE!” He yelled. The two women watched taken aback as he stormed past them, before turning around and giving them another dirty look. He stopped at the foot of the hall before dropping his pants and sitting on what Jennifer could only assume was the training potty the stranger had told them about. “Well that’s one way to mark your territory.” Carol said. “Possessive little booger, ain’t he?” “Oh! You’re using it without being reminded? Mommy’s so proud of you! You’ve made so much progress today!” they heard coming from the back of the house. “Mine!” The toddler shouted, still glaring at the two intruders. “You cheated.” Carol leaned over and whispered to her. “You got to completely skip this phase.” “You haven’t seen her when she loses control. There’s self-help books for the Terrible Two’s, but none for So You Adopted a Stephen King Character. I gave her detention once, and she shattered all the lightbulbs in the hallway.” Jennifer whispered back. Carol made a silent “O” with her lips. “I wouldn’t trade her for anything.” “Just don’t let her go to prom.” They stood in the living room for a few more minutes before Jennifer began to wonder if something was wrong. She could hear the frantic opening and closing of doors and footsteps pacing from room to room. “Is everything okay?” Jennifer finally asked when no one had emerged. Finally, the lady from before appeared with a deep frown and guilty expression. “I can’t find her, I just checked on her fifteen minutes ago, and she was sound asleep.” A knot began to form in her stomach. Matilda was hiding from her. She didn’t want to see Jennifer. “She’s still angry with me.” Jennifer said sadly. “Hey, she was probably just having too much fun and isn’t ready to come home yet.” Carol said. Jennifer shook her head. “I knew she could walk.” the stranger muttered under her breath. “Do you mind if I have a look?” Jennifer asked. Hortensia’s privacy be damned. “Where did you last see her?” “Down this way, Oh, I’m Cynthia by the way, Eve’s neighbor.” Cynthia led her down the hall to a bedroom in such disarray she wasn’t sure if it was robbed or her daughter had had another supernatural fit. “She was sleeping in the bed.” “She’s still in here.” Jennifer said. She didn’t know how she knew, but she knew just the same. “I looked everywhere. Under the bed, in the closet, in the other rooms.” Jennifer picked up the blankets before looking under the bed. Not enough room even for someone as small as Matilda with the storage bins underneath. She eyed the closet before letting out a sigh. Matilda was in there. She was positive. Matilda knew she hated small spaces, but even then, something was calling her to it. She couldn’t explain it any more than she could explain how Matilda could move things with her mind, but she knew what she had to do. Jennifer went to the door and opened it, ignoring the other woman telling her she had checked there three times. “Yeah, I guess you’re right, she’s not in here.” Jennifer said before putting a finger to her lips. She crept inside and closed the door behind her. She waited patently, standing as still as possible and listened intently. There, to her left. She heard something crinkle. “Come on out, Matilda. I know you're there.” Jennifer said softly before lowering herself onto an unknown pile of clutter. “Come on out and let's talk.” She sat in the dark and listened. There, in the far corner came a quiet voice. “I don’t want to leave.” Jennifer let out her held breath. Was that all this was about? Was it like Carol said? She was simply having too much fun? No… “You don’t want to go home?” Jennifer asked confused. She frowned even more when she heard a quiet sniffle. “I don’t want to leave home.” came the strained emotional reply. “Matilda, I don’t understand. Where are you? Won’t you come out and talk to me?” “I can’t.” More sniffling. Jennifer was sure now she was crying. “Why not?” “I’m stuck.” Jennifer stood and reached around blindly for a light switch. Once the closet was illuminated, Jennifer could see a tiny arm reaching out from a large pile of clutter. She brushed aside boxes of puzzles, clothes, stuffed animals and comic books before uncovering the small girl underneath. Jennifer eyed her up and down. She briefly wondered why she was in a diaper, but that didn’t matter much right now. “There’s my girl.” Instead of opening the closet and ushering her out, Jennifer scooted as much stuff out of the way before sitting down next to her. “Come here, sweetheart.” Jennifer patted her lap. “You told me not to touch you.” Matilda whispered. Jennifer sighed. “I’m sorry, dear, I’m really truly sorry. I wasn’t myself. I wasn’t in the present.” “Please don’t send me away.” Jennifer watched in confusion as Matilda dissolved into a wave of fresh tears. “Matilda,” Jennifer said softly. “I would never send you away. Why would you think that?” “You don’t want me anymore.” Jennifer let out another deep sigh and bent over to scoop her up but froze when Matilda flinched. Now it was Jennifer’s turn for her eyes to water. “Please don’t be afraid of me.” Jennifer whispered through her constricting throat. More slowly this time, she hoisted Matilda up by the armpits and set her down in her lap where they were facing each other. “I love you, Matilda. Nothing's going to change that. I’m your mother now, whether you want me to be or not. I can’t just send you away, nor would I ever want to.” “I want you to.” Jennifer’s heart sank. She was almost afraid to ask. “You want me to send you away?” “No, I want you to be my mother.” She could feel a wave of calm relief wash over her. “And I want to be your mother. Forever.” Jennifer repositioned the two of them so that Matilda’s head was resting on her shoulder with one arm under her cold and damp diapered bottom and the other on the back of her head slowly combing her fingers through Matilda’s hair. No amount of rocking, humming or soothing words seemed to comfort her though. Jennifer frowned in concern as she took in Matilda’s trembling frame. “What’s the matter, baby. Are you cold?” She put a hand to Matilda’s forehead to check for a fever and was relieved to find it felt normal. “My body hurts.” Came a pitiful sounding response. “Where does it hurt?” “Everywhere. When I heard you coming I panicked and crawled in here even though it hurt to move, and now it hurts even worse.” “Why did it hurt to move?” “From yesterday.” She felt Matilda pull away and lift her shirt. At first Jennifer didn’t see anything until she pulled up the T-shirt more. She let out a gasp. “Matilda,” Jennifer said. Tears were now blurring her vision. “D-did I do that to you?” Matilda shook her head. “Please tell me the truth,” she begged. She was terrified of the answer, but she needed to know. She hadn’t thought she had used that much force, but Matilda seemed to get hurt so easily. “No, it happened last night.” Matilda filled her in on all the details. Hortensia seemed to be full of all sorts of surprises lately. After taking a moment to process everything, Jennifer let out an exasperated sigh. “I swear I can’t let you leave the house without covering you in bubble wrap and making you wear a helmet. How is it you keep getting hurt?” “I don’t know.” Matilda moaned. “Well, I’ll have to take you to the hospital today.” “No!” Matilda said, burying her face into Miss Honey’s neck and crying anew. Jennifer rubbed her back feeling puzzled. Sure she had had a few rough visits, but this sort of reaction over seeing a doctor was new. “I need to make sure you’re okay, sweetheart. It looks awfully painful.” Matilda nodded in agreement. “The doctors can help you feel better faster, you know that, so why all the tears?” “That’s w-where y-y-you take kids you d-d-don’t want anymore!” “Matilda, where on earth is this coming from? I’m not going to abandon you, you understand? Look at me.” She could feel the girl bury herself even further down. What had happened to make her think Jennifer didn’t want her anymore? Was this all about the incident yesterday? Jennifer scrambled to try and come up with something that would calm her down enough to get her willing to talk, but her mind kept drawing a blank-except for one thing. There was a song she often hummed when the two of them were cuddled up together, but she had never outright sung the words, even though they encompassed the very thing Matilda made her feel. So with a shaky breath, Jennifer began to quietly sing. “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine You make me happy when skies are gray You’ll never know just how much I love you Please don’t take my sunshine away” She could feel Matilda violent sobs begin to ever so slowly ebb away. It was progress, so Jennifer sang it again and again, until Matilda’s wails were nothing but quiet sniffles. “Can you tell me what’s got you so upset?” Jennifer asked after a few minutes of silence. “Where is this line of thinking coming from?” She waited patiently, unsure if she would get a response or not, but a small muffled voice from her shoulder spoke. “Because of what I did.” Now they were getting somewhere. Relief rushed through Jennifer. It wasn’t yesterday, at least not entirely. “You’re feeling bad because of something you did?” A small nod. “Would you tell me?” Silence. “I promise, no matter what you did, I’m not going to abandon you.” More silence. “I bet you’ll feel loads better if you get it off your chest. It might not be as bad as you think. You know, the reason I had that issue yesterday was because I was carrying a lot of guilt too, and it finally caught up to me. I had a good talk with Mrs. Rodgers about it last night, and she assured me this bad thing I thought I had done had only been in my head. I probably would have gone on punishing myself forever if I hadn’t opened up about it.” “What did you think you did?” Matilda asked. “Well, I, umm, my aunt, you know, she did some inappropriate things to me, and I thought, I was doing the same to you, in a way.” “It’s not like you molested me like your aunt did to you.” Jennifer froze, unable to respond. “What?” “H-how do you know about that?” She could feel her mouth going dry. “W-who t-told you?” She had tried so hard to keep this from Matilda. She didn’t need to know life was full of monsters just yet. It was bad enough she had seen the scars of the years of physical abuse, but it was the sexual abuse which left the open festering wounds, only they were invisible to the naked eye. At least she thought they were… “I’ve always known. It’s not hard to put two and two together. You could have just talked to me about it, I would have told you you weren’t doing anything weird.” “You make it sound so simple.” “Maybe it is that simple.” “No, Matilda, it’s not. It’s like there’s an infected open sore inside me that refuses to heal. I can always feel it throbbing just under my skin and if I address it or acknowledge it in any way, the infection will spread. If I show it to you, it will only cause you to be infected too, that’s why I have to keep it from you. It’s nothing personal, I just can’t risk doing irrevocable harm to you.” “Mom,” Matilda groaned pushing off from her, so she could look her in the face. “If there’s an infected open sore inside of you, you’re doing exactly what you’re not supposed to do. You can’t just seal an infection and expect it to get better. It’s going to hurt, but you have to cut it open and work the puss out, or it will never get better.” “I didn’t mean there’s a literal infection inside of me.” “I know, but it’s the same idea really. Don’t let this eat you from the inside out.” “Enough about what’s eating me, I want to know what’s eating you? Out with it. What did you do?” Matilda looked away, mumbling something Jennifer couldn’t make out. She tried to bury herself back in Jennifer’s chest, but she stopped her with a palm to her forehead. “No, no running away, time to come clean.” “Only if you answer mine.” Jennifer bit her lip. That sneaky little… “Depends on the question.” “Mrs. Rodger’s said you pushed me because you thought I was someone else. Is that true?” Jennifer sighed. Carol had left her the perfect out, but she had a sinking suspicion Matilda would know if she lied and was testing her. “No,” Jennifer said after giving it some thought. “I knew it was you, but I had no intention of pushing you down to the ground and hurting you. I had what’s called a flashback. In my mind, I was eleven again, and Miss Trunchbull was telling me I was just like her, and I was going to do these very bad things to you. I wanted you to stay away from me, not because I didn’t want you with me, but because I wanted you to stay safe. Does that make sense?” “Yes.” Matilda said quietly. “Alright, my turn, does what you’re feeling guilty about have anything to do with what happened the last few days?” Matilda shook her head. “Hmm, then does it ha-” “It’s my turn.” Matilda said before she could finish. “Are you sad about your aunts' death, despite everything she did to you?” Jennifer should have known these wouldn’t be typical five-year-old questions like, “What’s your favorite color?” and “What’s your favorite dinosaur?” “I don’t know.” Jennifer answered honestly. “I don’t miss her, but it was very sudden, and I don’t think i’ve given it much thought. Ok, i’ll change it up before I go for the big guns. Did you wet the bed again? Is that why you’re wearing a wet diaper?” “That’s two questions.” Matilda said with a scowl. “No, I didn’t wet the bed. Are you afraid of being in this closet?” “As long as you're with me, no.” Jennifer said giving Matilda’s hand a squeeze. “Why are you wearing a wet diaper?” Jennifer laughed quietly as Matilda’s face began to turn a shade pink. “Because Eve and Cynthia think I’m a walking accident waiting to happen.” she grumbled. “I tried yelling for Cynthia like a hundred times to take me to the restroom, but she couldn’t hear me from out there. Okay, this is going to sound weird but, were you drunk last night?” Jennifer sputtered. The question had caught her so off guard she began to choke on her own saliva. “Why are you asking me that?” she finally managed to get out. “Were you?” Matilda asked again. “I, umm, wasn’t drunk, I was just, well, I had a couple glasses of wine. How did you know?” “Because I swore I woke up today with a hangover. My head was pounding, I was nauseous, my stomach was upset.” Matilda narrowed her eyes. “Since when do they serve wine at the hospital?” “Since the person who took me pretended to be my mother to break me out and took me back to her house to talk.” Jennifer said with a guilty expression on her face. “They let me go last night, but Carol wanted to talk just the two of us.” “You mean I could have avoided being tackled by the Not So Friendly Giant out there?” “Sorry.” Jennifer said with a pained expression. “Alright last question before I ask you the main thing. How would you have a hangover if I drank alcohol?” “Because I can somehow feel what you do, if you feel it strong enough.” Matilda said with a frown. “You already knew that.” “Yes, but I didn’t realize it was also physical sensati-” Jennifer stopped. Oh no. Oh no. If she knew she had been drinking, did she also know she had… “Matilda, did you…umm.” Now it was Jennifer’s turn to grow a shade darker. “Did you feel anything else strange, last night?” Matilda’s eyebrows shot up. “Were you doing something else at Mrs. Rodger’s besides drinking?” “N-no, I was-I mean, I didn’t mean to, it just sort of-” Jennifer sighed. “Pass.” “Oh, no no. No passing.” Matilda said with a grin, now a flash of her usual self shone in her eyes. “You only get this flustered when someone brings up s-” Matilda’s eyes went wide. “No. No. No. Not that.” “With Mrs. Rodgers? And you?” Matilda asked, face scrunched in confusion. Jennifer’s face felt like it could light the bulb in a lighthouse. “NO!” Jennifer said firmly. “We. Did. Not.” “I was going to say… she’s kind of old.” Matilda whispered. “Alright, alright, enough of this. Spill it. What made you think I was going to leave you at the hospital?” Matilda gave her a pained look. “Come on, it can’t be that bad.” Matilda took a deep breath. “I- think, I think.” She stopped and took another breath. “I think I’m the one who killed your aunt.” she whispered. Jennifer’s eyes went wide. She stared at Matilda. What? “I didn’t mean for her to get hurt…badly! It was just a prank to scare her! I was so angry when you were in the hospital and-” “Slow down. Start from the beginning.” Jennifer said. She listened intently as Matilda told her story of the spiders and the cotton ball that wasn’t really a cotton ball. “Are you mad at me?” Matilda asked once she had finished. Jennifer sighed. It was a lot to take in. It wasn’t likely the cause but… maybe they should keep this between the two of them just in case. “No, I’m not mad at you, Matilda, but I am disappointed in you. I told you several times not to mess with that woman, she’s dangerous. It’s probably why she had it out for you in the hospital. If anything had happened to you, I don’t know what i’d do. I thought I taught you better than that. Revenge is never the answer.” “She had to be stopped.” Matilda mumbled, head back in between Jennifer’s chest. “Yes, she did, but that was the police’s job, not yours.” “I couldn’t let her keep hurting you.” Matilda said. “I didn’t mean for her to die, just get sick like you did. I thought, maybe there was a genetic link between you two. I couldn’t stand to see what she did to you. How could I not fight back?” “Matilda, you have a brilliant mind, and abilities that shouldn’t even be possible. Don’t ever let me hear of you using either one to hurt someone else again or you’ll need that diaper just to sit comfortably. I know you had good intentions, but this didn’t involve you-” “How can you keep saying this doesn’t involve me?” Matilda said, tears streaming down her face. “I feel everything you do. I feel your anger, your guilt, your disgust, how much you hate yourself. I feel it all, and I don’t know why. It does involve me! I watch you have nightmares almost every night and there’s nothing I can do to help! I have abilities, but I’ve never felt so powerless.” “You do help me.” Jennifer said, placing her forehead against Matilda’s. “I’d still be in that shack alone if I hadn’t met you. You think the old me would have hit her with a chair? As for the nightmares, every time I wake up and see you, I know I’m safe. Just having you in my life has been the biggest help of them all. Now come on, let’s get out of this closet, my legs are falling asleep, and I’m afraid to know just what we’re sitting in.” “If you’re hungry, I found a snack.” Matilda said with a slight grin as she held up a moldy sandwich. Jennifer wrinkled her face in disgust before giving Matilda a kiss on her forehead. “Still not getting rid of you.” Jennifer whispered.

Pound. Pound. Pound. Matilda winced. Why could she feel her heartbeat in her head? She was still halfway in and out of consciousness, only barely aware of disembodied voices somewhere off in the distance. She swallowed, immediately repulsed by the sour taste that had formed in her mouth overnight. "So is she special needs?" a voice Matilda didn't recognize asked. "Something like that." a more familiar voice said after a pause. "Very intelligent, but..." But? But what? Even her semi-conscious mind knew they were talking about her. There was another long pause. Matilda's ears were burning, almost daring Eve to finish that sentence. "I've only just recently met her a few weeks ago mind you, but she just seems different." "Different how?" The stranger asked. "I can't explain it, not off, just a little odd. She's a sweet girl, very intelligent like I said, but a bit slow when it comes to social cues I'm starting to learn, that, or she just has incredibly selective hearing. " The stranger giggled. "Eve, you said she's five. Of course, she's not going to listen. Since when has your daughter ever listened to me?" Now it was Eve's turn to laugh before letting out a groan. "That's more because 'Tens has no respect for authority. Good lord, if I get one more call from her school, so help me!" They both giggled now. "No, Matilda isn't intentionally disobedient from what I've seen, unlike someone else we know, she just doesn't act her age." "Oh? Still in the toddler stage? Is that why she's still in diapers?" "No, no, quite the opposite, I'd swear she thinks she's 30. If she wasn't hurt, she'd probably try vacuuming and making you lunch instead of the other way around. It's like she has no idea what it means to be five. Her foster mom, no wait, it's a little more complicated. Her year one teacher adopted her." "Really? Talk about taking your work home with you." More giggling. "That woman has the patience of a saint with young kids. She says Matilda was neglected, so she has a hard time trusting people. She's very independent, but she doesn't really know her limits. You'll have to keep a close eye on her, so she doesn't make it worse." "Make what worse?" "Ahh, it's really my fault. She was upset last night about her mom being in the hospital again and wasn't talking or eating. She tried to tell me in her own way she couldn't swallow, but I wasn't paying attention and made her eat. She ended up choking and I just sat there. It was 'Tens who ended up giving her the Heimlich, albeit very badly. She managed to cough it out, but not without cracking a rib. She's not very mobile at the moment. That's why she's in diapers." "Oh, the poor thing." "She's still trying to get up and go to the restroom on her own. Please make sure she doesn't. She's going to hurt herself even more. She doesn't want to use them, and i'm sure you don't want to change them, so if you want to work something out with her, feel free to use your best judgement. I just put them on her to get her through the night, unfortunately, she didn't seem to get the memo and still woke us all up at 3 in the morning to try and get someone to take her to the restroom." "I wish some of that determination would rub off on Chuckie. Sounds like i've got one extreme and the other today." "Still no luck?" Matilda tuned out their conversation now that they were no longer talking about her. She felt like she could sleep for five more hours. She wished they would stop talking. Every word seemed to reverberate through her skull and her stomach along with her mouth felt sour. She didn't need this today. She was miserable enough without a -. Matilda frowned in confusion. The first word she had thought of was "hangover", but clearly that wasn't it. She had read about them sure, but she was hardly in a position to be drinking alcohol. She was five. What did someone do? Spike her milk? While she was in the middle of taking stock of what body parts hurt where, she felt something wet land on her face, forcing her to open her eyes for the first time. It took a second for things to come into focus, but when they did, she let out an involuntary scream. There, right above her face stood a boy towering over her. "Matilda, are you alright?" Eve asked emerging from the kitchen. Matilda looked back at the older boy standing over her and frowned. The boy let out a dopey looking grin. Now that her bearings were slowly coming back to her, Matilda took in his baby face, and nearly toothless smile. He wasn't an older boy at all. He was just the biggest toddler she had ever seen. "You must be Chunky." Matilda said quietly once she managed to catch her breath. She wiped at her face and stared at the liquid on the back of her hand, then back to the giant toddler. Her stomach began to somersault. He had drooled on her. "Are you alright?" Eve asked again. "Yes, he just scared me." Matilda said. She tried to swallow and tasted more of the sourness. Her mouth was watering, filling with the taste. "Eve, I don't feel good." "What's wrong? Is it your side?" "I don't feel good." was all Matilda could think of to say before putting her closed fist to her mouth and swallowing again. "Oh no, not now." Eve groaned. "You've got to be kidding." She ran back into the kitchen before re-emerging with a large mixing bowl and a little cup of pink medicine. "Can you sit up?" Matilda slowly propped herself on her elbows and inched herself up until she was in a somewhat sitting position. The mixing bowl was thrust into her hands, and before she could process anything, the tiny cup of medicine was dumped into her partially open mouth. She could feel a streak of it running down her chin. "Swallow." Fighting against her gag reflex, she swallowed the Pepto down, before making a face and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. "If Cynthia asks, tell her you ate something bad." Eve whispered in her ear. Matilda was clutching the bowl with both hands, trying to will her stomach into submission. "She's the germaphobe. The one I couldn't ask to use their restroom." Matilda said between deep breaths. "Yes, exactly. If she thinks you're sick, she'll pack up and leave. I can't afford to miss any more work, but I also can't get anyone to watch you on short notice." "Hortensia's here." Matilda mumbled. "Yes, that's what worries me." Eve said. "She's not bad. I like her." "That also worries me." Matilda smiled weakly. "We won't get into trouble. I'll sleep and she'll watch tv." "Mm hmm, and what about the problem you found yourself in last night? She can't help you, and you'll be stuck in the same diaper until someone picks you up. I don't think you'll be very happy about that. If you think she'll help you change, you're barking up the wrong tree." Matilda scowled. Even if Hortensia was willing to help... She shuddered. There's no way Matilda would let her. There were boundaries friends didn't cross. She'd rather be left naked in the grass. "She'd break my leg trying." Matilda said. Eve laughed. "She doesn't know the first thing about changing a diaper, she'd probably try and fit it over your head." Matilda gave another weak smile. "I said I'd try and walk you to the bathroom before I left for work. Are you up for it?" Matilda shook her head. She'd probably puke if she tried to stand up. "I'm glad to see you're not willing to hurt yourself more over this. I'll be back later to sort you out." Matilda closed her eyes and rested her head on the back of the couch once Eve retreated back to the kitchen. Her mind couldn't put two and two together. All she could focus on was not getting sick. It had felt like only a second since she'd left, but Eve was already back. She handed Matilda a bottle of water. She gratefully accepted it and took slow, tentative sips. It seemed to help ease the nausea a bit. "Have you gone potty yet? I've given you ten minutes." Matilda stared at her. Had she been supposed to? Matilda shook her head. "I just want to sleep." "Okay, if that's what you want. Cynthia will be here if you need anything. I hope you feel better." "Thanks." Matilda mumbled. She set the mixing bowl on the floor, relieved she hadn't ended up needing it after all, and inched her way back down. When she awoke again to the shrill sounds of a toddler screaming, she let out an audible groan. "Give it back you little-" Hortensia was running through the house chasing Chuckie, who had taken the remote. Matilda sat up and rubbed at her temples. She didn't think it was possible to feel worse than she had this morning, but she did. At least she didn't feel in danger of throwing up. "Good morning sleepy head." The unfamiliar voice from earlier said. Matilda turned to find one of the largest woman she had ever seen sitting on the opposite end of the couch. She wasn't fat, just incredibly tall and strong looking. She wondered if she was Samoan. It would explain the size of the kid. Matilda felt a pang of relief. This woman would have no problem picking her up. "Hi," Matilda mumbled. She reached down for her water bottle and took a few sips noticing that the mixing bowl she had been given to be sick in was now filled with popcorn and sitting in Cynthia's lap. Her stomach gave another twirl of disgust. Either Eve had shoved the nearest container in Matilda's lap in a panic, or Cynthia was now eating out of the family barf bucket. The Wormwoods had kept theirs under the sink, but no one had ever brought it to her. She had been expected to fend for herself for as long as she could remember. It had been months now, but it still felt surreal. The very concept of someone bringing her medicine when she wasn't feeling well would have been unheard of. Maybe if Jenny threw her out Eve would take her? Or maybe Mrs. Rodgers? It would be a steep decline in her quality of life, but they still showed her more kindness than she would have imagined possible months ago. A sharp cramp in her abdomen snapped her from her train of thought, followed by a familiar heaviness. No, no, no. Not now. Not like this. "Is something wrong?" Cynthia asked. "Could you take me to the restroom, please?" Matilda asked through clenched teeth. Another cramp had nearly doubled her over. She couldn't let Cynthia know. "Of course, sweetheart." Suddenly, there was a loud bang followed by a crash coming from the kitchen. Chuckie began wailing and Hortensia was yelling at him. Cynthia let out a groan. "Hold that thought, I'll be right back." Matilda wanted to beg her to stop. She didn't have time for this, but Cynthia was up and out of her chair before Matilda could open her mouth. "You! You need to settle down right now!" Matilda heard her yell. "What did I do? He's the one who ran into the table!" Hortensia yelled back. "You were chasing him!" "He stole the remote!" Matilda was beginning to panic. The weight on her backside was growing heavier and heavier. There was no hiding she had diarrhea. Her only hope was getting to the toilet and hoping it sounded watery enough to be urine. Matilda could flush the toilet before Cynthia saw anything, that wasn't the problem. The issue was air. But as more and more time passed with Cynthia dealing with whatever was happening in the kitchen, the more Matilda doubted she would make it far enough. She was just about to give up completely when she noticed something sitting in the other room behind her. Was that what she thought it was? There was only one way to know for sure. Matilda focused her eyes on the white bulky object before motioning it over with a finger. It soundlessly slid across the carpeted floor until it came to rest by the couch next to her. She stared at it feeling more elated with every second. They must have brought it for her, there was no other explanation. It was half the size of a kitchen mop bucket with a toilet seat on it. It was the most beautiful thing Matilda had ever seen. The only question was how to get on it. With a grimace and moans of pain silenced by a closed fist to her lips, Matilda managed to scoot herself to the foot rest of the recliner before tearing the tapes off the diaper and pressing the button to lower herself down to the portable toilet. With a bit of adjusting and a lot of pain, she had managed to situate herself correctly just in the nic of time. The feeling of letting go without soiling herself was near euphoria. She could have sworn her eyes had nearly rolled into the back of her head. She felt like the luckiest person on the planet, that was until the Amazon sized toddler strolled into the room and saw what she was doing. "MINE! THAT'S MINE! GET OFF!" he screamed. Matilda saw him run back into the kitchen and shuddered when she heard him whine, "My potty! She's on my potty! Get her off!" Her heart sunk when she realized what she had done. It hadn't been for her at all. Of course a regular training potty wouldn't fit that behemoth. She let out a soft whine of embarrassment as she heard footsteps approaching. She would have curled into a ball if she could have. "What are you talking about? Where is your potty? I left it over here." "GET OFF!" The toddler screamed. "Chuckie, what are you-oh." Cynthia seemed to freeze at the sight of her. "Matilda," she asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "are you going potty or are you just sitting there?" Matilda buried her face in her hands. What kind of question was that? Why else would she be sitting on it? "Get her off! It's mine!" Chuckie whined. "Shush, honey. Go play." "It's mine!" he whined again before bursting into tears. "I know it is, but Matilda needed to use it. Can you share with her this one time? I can't get her off until she's done." The following shrieks and screams told Matilda that was a "no." It was no wonder Hortensia couldn't stand him. She had to uncover her face in order to plug her ears. `"Sweetheart, you could have just gone to the restroom by yourself if you needed to go that badly. You didn't need to wait for me." "Can't get up." Matilda mumbled. "Hurts too much." "Well you must have gotten up in order to get on this." Matilda shook her head. "I sat on the edge of the chair and rode the recliner down onto it." She could see Cynthia doing the mental gymnastics to see if that was even possible. She gave Matilda a sort of sympathetic smile. "I know Eve can come off a bit strong without meaning to. You just didn't want to get in trouble for getting up by yourself. I understand, you can tell me the truth. I won't punish you." Matilda scowled. "I'm not faking being injured." "Honey, I'm not saying that at all. I know Eve said you can't get up and use the restroom by yourself, but I'm saying, if you really need to, and I'm not around to help, feel free to just get up and go." It would have been nice, if she could actually get up by herself. "Are you done?" "No," Matilda moaned. She had been fighting back a second wave ever since they had come in. "Could you go in the other room?" she mumbled. "Please?" She must have sounded desperate enough. "C'mon, Chuckie, let's give her some space." Cynthia said. She had managed to push him halfway out the room before the toddler let out a primal and enraged sounding scream. Matilda whipped her head around just in time to see him charging at her like an enraged bull. She tried to throw up her hands as a shield, but it did her little to no good. The next thing she knew he had collided with her, knocking her onto the floor. Someone was screaming. White-hot searing pain was all she could comprehend. She had landed on her good side, but he had slammed into the injury. Who was screaming? She had the faintest notion it was her. "Holy shit! Ma's going to go nuclear." It was Hortensia. She was standing over her taking in the room. "It's all over the carpet." "Yeah, well, go get the carpet cleaner and a rag and start scrubbing." Cynthia said. "No way! That's disgusting!" "Consider it your punishment for swearing." "No! This is your fault. You weren't restraining your kid. I saw him tackle her!" "Hey, I never told her to get up and use his potty. I said I was going to take her to the restroom. If she had to go that badly, she should have either used the diaper or just gone to the restroom on her own. She obviously has no problem getting up." "No, she can't!" "I put his potty in the hallway like I always do since your mom won't allow it on the carpet. She's the one who got up and dragged it over." "No, she didn't! She can barely move!" "That potty didn't just grow legs and walk over. Now will you, for once in your life, do what I tell you?" "I ain't scrubbing shit out of the carpet because you can't control your spoiled brat." "What have I told you about swearing? You can either scrub the carpet or scrub a kid. If you don't help out, I'm telling your mom you're misbehaving." Hortensia made a disgusted noise. Between the blur of Matilda's tears she could just make out Hortensia looking down at her, the anger quickly dissolving from her face. "Put her in the bathtub and i'll do the rest." Hortensia said with a growl. "I can't pick her up without hurting her." There was a pause. "Really? You will?" "Because you obviously don't care." Hortensia said under her breath. "That's not fair, I do care! She's just in shock. She'll calm down on her own in a minute." "Does this look like shock to you?" Matilda felt her shirt get lifted. "Oh Jesus." Cynthia said quietly. She felt another figure bend down next to her. "Oh sweetheart, I had no idea." "Didn't Ma tell you?" Hortensia asked sounding doubtful. "I mean, she mentioned she had gotten hurt, but I figured it was something minor. Little kids tend to exaggerate, you know?" "She's not like that. You see how hurt she is, if she actually got up and dragged that thing over, she did it for you, despite how much pain she's in. We told her you don't like germs, so she probably thought it would be easier on you to empty a bucket rather than carry or change her. I can't believe you're over here blaming her for this." Cynthia let out a pitiful whimper. If Matilda wasn't in so much pain she would have laughed. Way to lay on the guilt. "Oh, baby, I'm so sorry." She felt Cynthia wave a hand through her hair, but Matilda couldn't stop crying enough to tell her to keep her hands off. "Don't you worry, your big sister Hortensia's going to make it all better." Big sister? Ha! "Shh, shh, it's going to be alright." Matilda felt herself get lifted into the air as if she were a bride getting carried over the threshold. A very stinky and messy bride that was. The moment of impact had caused her watery bowels to empty, and she doubted it had made it into the bucket. A bucket of which had been knocked over onto her, Chuckie, and the carpet. She could feel herself getting rocked in the air. Matilda fought, scratched, clawed, screamed and lashed out in any way she could, even if it only compounded the pain. This woman had the nerve, no, the audacity, to blame her for this? No wonder Hortensia didn't like her. "Matilda, please, try and calm down." Cynthia begged. "I know you're in pain, but you're only going to make it worse if you keep moving like that." Pictures on the walls were beginning to wobble and shake. There was a loud crash as a glass fell off the table and shattered onto the floor. She was losing control again. Matilda heard Hortensia swear before taking a step back and making a run for it. Fine! Matilda didn't care. Go on and leave! Go on and leave her like everyone else in her life did! Her parents didn't want her, Jenny didn't want her. Why wouldn't Hortensia leave too? She was starting to wonder if she would bring the whole house down on top of them when something was forcefully shoved into her mouth with instructions to bite down. All at once, everything went still. "Put her in the bathtub!" Hortensia said. Matilda stared at her. She had come back? Was it her who had forced this object in her mouth? What was it? It felt familiar, but it couldn't be. It was much too large and filled her whole mouth. She couldn't cry or scream. Only silent tears fell from her eyes as she bit down on what felt like rubber. "Try sucking on it instead, you might feel better." Cynthia whispered. Matilda wanted to do the exact opposite of anything she said out of spite, but curiosity had won out in the end. By the time she had been lowered down in the tub, she was sucking on it for all she was worth. There was no question now on what it was, but she didn't think they made them so big. She didn't want to admit it, but it was a welcome distraction. The more she fiddled with the thing in her mouth, the more down to earth she felt. It was like breathing in a bag. She hurt, yes, oh god she hurt, but she could see through the pain. There was a world on the other side and the more she sucked on the knob in her mouth and counted in groups of twos, three's, four's, and five's, the more in control she felt. And then, all at once, the world seemed to slam into picture perfect focus, and she realized she was stark naked, sitting in a tub covered in her own feces with the closest thing she had to a best friend dumping cups of warm water on her. "Do you hear that?" Hortensia asked. Matilda listened. She could hear Chuckie wailing in the other room. "YOU DO NOT SHOVE OTHER PEOPLE TO GET WHAT YOU WANT!" Cynthia yelled. There was a loud hollow thump sound followed by more sobbing. "I've waited so long to hear that." Hortensia said, before dousing her with another cup of water. "He's a little shit." Matilda pulled what looked like the largest pacifier she had ever seen out of her mouth, and took a few gulps of air before answering. "I noticed." Matilda said weakly. "So is she." Hortensia said much more quietly. Again Matilda said, "I noticed." "This is taking too long." Hortensia complained. "Knock the shower head down, I can't reach it from out here." "What makes you think I can? You're taller than m-oh, right." Matilda said, feeling a little embarrassed. It still didn't come naturally to her. She still found herself hopping up on chairs to reach tall places. Then there was the time her stomach was hurting and Hortensia had to get Jenny because she couldn't bend over to pick up the pull-up. She could have just willed it in her hand. "How do you forget you have powers? I'd never get off the couch. Oh, and the pranks! What you did to Mr. Larson was great and all, but that was small stuff." "When Miss Honey came to get me from my parents, I convinced them I was possessed. I made all the furniture fly around the room. You should have seen how scared they were." "So that's how you came to live with her?" Matilda nodded. "If you can make furniture fly around the room, how come you can't get a shower head down?" Hortensia asked skeptically. Matilda was breathing heavy now, concentrating as hard as she could, but all she could manage was to gently jostle it around in its holder. Matilda broke the contact, too exhausted to keep trying. "I was angry then, really, really angry." "Didn't you want to live with Miss Honey?" Hortensia asked, stepping up onto the rim of the bathtub, so she could manually pull down the shower head. "I did, but it's one thing to think your family doesn't want you, and another to see it's true. I know why Miss Honey talked about me the way she did, but it still stung. The whole conversation, it was never about giving me a better life, it was about how much their lives would be better without me. They traded me for the idea of owning a parking lot. When I saw how easy they were willing to give me up, I just snapped. I doubt they'd take me back. You think your mom would let me live here when Jenny throws me out?" "What?" Hortensia said dumbfounded. "Miss Honey ain't throwing you out." "I don't think she wants me anymore." Matilda said, before sputtering on the blast of water sprayed directly into her face. "Hey!" "I told you! She ain't giving you up." "How would you know?" "She always gets this weird sappy look on her face whenever she sees you, like she's looking at a puppy or something. Personally, I don't see the appeal, if you were a puppy you'd probably shit yourself less." Matilda stared at the shower head in Hortensia's hand and twisted a finger, making it turn in her hand and spray its holder. "Hey! Hey! Quit it! I'm doing you a favor here! " By the time she released the power in her eyes, Hortensia, and the bathroom, were soaked. There was a knock on the door. "Everything okay in there? I hear screaming." Cynthia said. Before either of them could respond, the door swung in. "What in the word?" She eyed Hortensia up and down before raising her eyebrows. "What happened to you? Did you fall in?" "I think I picked the wrong kid." Hortensia said. She wiped her wet hair back with a hand before blowing up at the semi dry strand that refused to stay. "We're done here anyway." "Not my fault you sprayed yourself with the shower head." Matilda said with a snicker. Hortensia scowled, picked up the pacifier off the edge of the tub and shoved it into Matilda's mouth. “Thank you,” Cynthia said. “It’s nice to see you still have a sweet side. I haven’t seen this side of you since your little boyfriend ran away.” Matilda yanked the pacifier out of her mouth. “Hortensia had a boyfriend?” Matilda asked with a laugh. “He was not my boyfriend.” Hortensia growled. “And he didn’t run away.” “‘Tens,” Cynthia said, “I thought you would have grown out of that by now. You know the police found evidence of him wanting to run away in his room.” “That doesn’t mean he did! I’m telling you, the Trunchbull got him.” “Hortensia, your headmaster was not some monster who went around murdering children. Sure, she was a bit eccentric, but she was just some grouchy old lady who liked to scare disobedient troublemakers.” “Who are you guys talking about?” Matilda asked as she was wrapped in a towel after being set on the bathmat. “He was a friend of mine when I was younger. I told you about him, here.” Hortensia sprinted out of the bathroom leaving Matilda alone with Cynthia. “The police say he ran away to go live with his dad. His parents were going through a nasty custody battle. Hortensia’s never been able to accept it.” “Did he ever turn up at his dads?” “He says no, but then moved to the States soon after, so it's assumed he was hiding him and smuggled him out of the country somehow. Most missing children cases are the result of one parent taking off with the child to spite the other.” “Oh.” Matilda said. It was true. She knew most child abductions were because someone didn’t get their way in court and almost 70% of the time, it was the father. “Here, this is him.” Hortensia said pointing to a photo in a yearbook. Matilda snickered at a much younger Hortensia, hair done in pigtails with her arm around a small boy. “Nice hair.” Matilda said with a grin before the teasing smile was wiped from her face as she read the caption. Hortensia Strickland (L)and Billy Reyes (R) .

I have absolutely no idea what your talking about…. *whistles innocently*

Thanks. It’s barely cannon. Like maybe a 10th of it. In the book she mentions she was her aunts slave. At In the Movie, her aunt says “I’ve broken your arm once Jen, I can do it again.” Hortensia only has like one talking scene. Mrs. rodgers and eve are made up.

“That dirty pig!” Jennifer nearly spat. She clutched the list he had made her write out in her fist. “That quack! That slimeball!” Mrs. Rodgers stared at her, a half amused, half curious expression on her face. She had gone for coffee while the Dr. had come in to give her privacy and what his treatment option had been had left Jennifer stunned and fuming. New medications? Fine. Good. Great. Mandatory Psychological Assessment. Understandable. But to suggest she…she… Who in their right mind would give that man-pig a license to practice medicine!? “I feel like I missed something here.” Mrs. Rodgers said, but before Jennifer could reply, another person came behind the curtain. “Hello, Miss Honey, so the Dr. says since you said you live alone with just a young child with no available support options, he’s requested you be placed under an involuntary 72 hour hold since you noted on your intake form you felt you were a threat to yourself or others.” Jennifer stared at the middle-aged woman with the clipboard. “B-but he gave me medicine and said I could go. I can’t stay here for three days, I have a daughter waiting to be picked up!” Jennifer said. If she left Matilda with Eve for three days, there’d really be no hope she’d ever forgive her.” “I’m sorry, it looks like he must have changed his mind.” Jennifer ground her teeth together. “Well, wait. What do you mean by, ‘no support options?’” Mrs. Rodgers asked. “Like family to stay with.” “Nonsense, go tell the Doctor she’ll be staying with me.” Mrs. Rodgers said. “But-” Jennifer tried to say but was cut off by a quick hand gesture telling her to zip it. “Oh, umm, are you family? Because she can only be released into the care of a family member and Miss Honey stated she had no close living relatives.” “Yes, she probably thought you meant close by distance. See, I live out of state, but I’m in town visiting, isn’t that right, Jenny?” Mrs. Rodgers sent her a look that said, “agree or else.” Jennifer gulped before nodding her head. “I see, and how are you related?” “I’m her mother.” … “My mother? Really?” Jennifer asked as they walked back to the car. “It worked, didn’t it?” Mrs. Rodgers said with a laugh. Jennifer bit her bottom lip. Maybe she should have let them lock her up. What if she really was a danger to Matilda like her aunt-okay, hallucination of her aunt-said. “Stop that, you’re making your lip bleed again.” Mrs. Rodgers said. Jennifer dabbed at her lip with the back of her hand and stared at the blood. “Here’s a tissue.” “Thanks.” Jennifer held the tissue to her lip and climbed into the passenger seat. “Let’s get Matilda. I hope she’s okay.” And hasn’t blown anything up this time, Jennifer thought. “Later,” Mrs. Rodgers said. “First, let's get your prescriptions filled, and then we’re going back to your place to get your things.” “My things? What things?” she started to ask before it clicked. “Mrs. Ro- Carol, no.” “Yes, You’re staying with me, and I’m not taking no for an answer. Something's going on with you, and I’m not letting you out of my sight until I know you’re safe.” “I’m fine now, really.” “No you’re not! Something scared the living shit out of you today. What did the doctor have to say?” “That pig!” Jennifer growled. “Why do you keep saying that? What happened?” “He told me to…to… I can’t even say it!” She looked around the car as if someone else might be listening in before leaning in close to Carol and whispered, “He told me to…touch myself.” “Like right then and there in front of him?” Mrs. Rodgers asked. “Well n-no, but still!” Jennifer said, face now flushed with embarrassment. “He made me write out a list of things I think might set off another episode, so I had written out a few things, and one of them was, umm,” Jennifer mumbled the last part, “sex”. “Ohh, that makes more sense. Jen, you scared me, I thought you were going to say he did something inappropriate like make a move on you.” Jennifer stared at her wide-eyed. “How was that not inappropriate? The only kinds of women who would do such a thing are perverted sicko’s like my aunt!” She watched Mrs. Rodgers purse her lips together until they all but disappeared. Huh? Was it something she said? All she had said was… A knot began to form in the pit of her stomach. “No, no, no, no! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that!” Carol’s eyebrows shot up. “How else would you mean it? You just compared millions of women, myself included, to a raging psychopath.” “M-millions?” And oh god, and did she just say her? Is this what a normal sex drive did to people? She couldn’t imagine ever wanting sex, let alone wanting it so much she’d touch herself. “I take it you haven’t had many close female friends to discuss it with?” Carol asked. Jennifer shook her head and stared out the window. Sex was an uncomfortable topic. At least Carol wasn’t five. “Well, I can ease your mind about one thing at least. He didn’t suggest it because he’s a pervert. It sounds more like a type of exposure therapy so when the time comes, maybe you won’t be so anxious.” Jennifer shuddered at the thought. There would be no “when the time came” for her. “No, thank you,” she mumbled. “You can’t just avoid sex your whole life.” “Why not? It’s worked well for me so far.” Carol shook her head. “Don’t you think maybe that’s what’s gotten you into this situation in the first place?” “Not having sex? I don’t think they hospitalize people for that.” “Why take the chance?” Carol said with a wink. “I’m kidding, I’m referring to you avoiding your problems instead of facing them. It’s like you bottle everything and pretend it’s not there.” “No I don’t.” Jennifer said. Usually. “You’ve been avoiding the question all day. What happened?” “I told you what happened. I had a flashback.” “Why did you push Matilda away? And that look on your face… did you not realize it was her?” Jennifer looked back out the window again, hiding her face and the stream of tears threatening to fall any second. The guilt had returned, now more suffocating than ever. “I don’t want to talk about it.” “Yes, we need to talk about this. We’re not leaving this parking lot until you tell me the truth. You’ve been released into my care, and now you’re my responsibility. You can’t keep carrying on like you have been.” “Look, it’s not- I mean, she was,” Jennifer let out a frustrated sigh and hid her face in her hands. “C’mon, just take a deep breath and then start again.” “Carol, I’m scared.” Jennifer said, looking at her now through the blur of tears. “I know you are, but why?” “I’m scared I’m turning into a monster, just like her.” Mrs. Rodgers stared at her a moment, at a loss for words. “Why on earth would you think that?” “Because I think I- I’ve been, I think I’ve been grooming Matilda this whole time.” Jennifer said before breaking down in sobs. She could feel Mrs. Rodger's body stiffen in the seat next to her. “I don’t want to hurt her! I didn’t realize until today, and just the thought makes me feel so sick to my stomach.” “I think, I think we should go back to my place and talk about this. I’m calling Eve and telling her they’re keeping you overnight.” The ride to the pharmacy had been a quiet one, and by the time they had pulled up to Jennifer’s place, she was shaking from anxiety. Maybe she shouldn’t have said anything. She debated just slamming the door closed behind her and locking herself in until Carol left, but she seemed to have read her mind. She stayed by her side like a prison guard escorting a dangerous inmate. After she threw together a few outfits for herself and Matilda just in case, she tossed them in Matilda’s suitcase. She felt kind of silly packing herself a bag with butterflies on it, but it was the only suitcase they had. Her hand went automatically to the bag of pull-ups and stopped. Matilda had been good about not having accidents lately, even at night, but even so, if she was going to be sleeping in someone else's bed, might as well pack them just in case. By the time they made it to Carol’s, Miss Honey was a nervous wreck. “Go sit at the table, I’ll get us something to drink.” Carol said. Jennifer nodded and sat. She felt like a kid whose parents had told them “we need to talk”. “Here, this’ll help you relax.” Carol set a wine glass in front of her filled with a dark red liquid and sat across from her, sipping from one of her own. Jennifer took a tentative sip, she had never had wine before. She had to resist making a face. She hadn’t expected it to burn. “Let me ask you something.” Carol said after a minute of silence. Jennifer felt her stomach clench. She took another sip of wine. “Are you having sexual fantasies about Matilda?” Jennifer nearly spat out her drink. “No, of course not!” “No desires to touch her anywhere inappropriate?” “No!” Jennifer insisted. “And you’re not asking her to touch you anywhere?” “Carol! No!” “Then why did you say you’re afraid you’re becoming a monster? And you said something about grooming her. I need you to explain what you meant.” Jennifer took a larger gulp of the wine. It was starting to taste all right. “You remember when Matilda was sick?” Carol nodded. “She had asked to lay on my chest without my night gown on. I did it as a one time thing, because maybe my skin felt cooler than hers with her fever but, even after that, she’d ask after a hard day, and we’d lie in bed holding each other.” Jennifer drained the remaining liquid in her glass and waited for the disgust. “And once I had even offered.” “And what were you feeling? Turned on? Excited?” “N-no, just, it-it felt nice to hold her.” “Just nice, not anything else?” Jennifer shook her head. “I don’t understand.” “I got undressed and in bed with a child.” Jennifer whispered. “And then held her and let her get on top of me, and I liked it. When I had that… episode in the bathroom, my aunt was there reminding me that’s exactly how it started. She used to climb in bed with me naked when I was Matilda’s age, and now I’m doing the same thing.” Well not completely naked, they both had their underwear on, but close enough. “Let me ask you another thing.” Jennifer gripped her empty glass, but nodded. “Did you ask your aunt to do that?” “No.” “Did you want her to do that?” “No.” “Jennifer, look at me.” She hesitated before slowly meeting Carol’s eyes, surprised to find a soft smile on her lips. “It’s not the same thing.” “How is it not the same thing?” “Your motivations for one.” She watched as Carol got up, grabbed the bottle off the kitchen counter and refilled both their glasses. “Your aunt got into bed with you uninvited. You didn’t want it or ask for it. I think it’s safe to say she didn’t have your best intentions at heart. You on the other hand were just trying to comfort your sick daughter with no ulterior motives. You followed her lead, and you were just trying to be a good mom. And that feeling you described, that’s called love. It may have been a long time ago, but I still remember how it felt to hold my son in my arms. You’re not a monster, Jennifer, you’re a mother.” “Thank you.” Jennifer said with a sniffle and wiped her eyes with the backs of her hands. “I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear that.” “Now I just have one more question for you. It’s very important.” Carol held up something in her hand. Two somethings. “Are these what I think they are?” Jennifer padded her back pocket, it was empty. She grimaced. “Matilda found them in my old room. I had a copy of Anne of Green Gables cut in the center to hide things in. They were my aunts.” “Jenn, you little Klepto.” Carol laughed. “Fitting book.” Jennifer gave her a sheepish grin. “So… got a lighter?” “Carol! They’re like eight years old!” “Just how the Trunchbull liked them.” “Carol!” “Sorry, sorry, bad joke. I blame the wine.” Jennifer dug in her other pocket and placed the lighter on the table. “Now we’re talking!” “Ugh, this is disgusting.” Jennifer said between coughs, “I can’t believe we’re doing this.” “But do you feel better?” Carol asked, taking another hit. Jennifer’s head was swimming, but she was surprised to find she did feel tremendously better than she had earlier that day. “I do.” she admitted. “See, mother knows best.” Carol said, cracking them both up. “Oh, I need to call Eve.” “Oh, let me.” Jennifer stood up, but suddenly the whole kitchen was moving. She quickly sat back down and put her head in her hands. “Umm, better not. You are far from sober right now.” Carol said with a chuckle. “Some mother you are.” Jennifer groaned from the table and held her head. She had never been drunk or high in her entire life and here she was practically both! She watched as Carol began talking into the receiver but frowned in concern as a puzzled look crossed Carol’s face. “No, we didn’t give her anything. That’s odd, can you put her on? No, no, just let her sleep, she probably needs it.” “Tell Matilda I love her.” Jennifer mouthed. “Umm, Jennifer is…under sedation right now. Should be released by tomorrow. We’ll call you if anything changes.” They talked for a few minutes more, but Carol’s voice had dropped and Jennifer could no longer hear what she was saying. “What happened?” Jennifer asked when Carol got off the phone. “Eve said Matilda was acting a little loopy and off balance. She asked if we had given her anything to calm her down. I said we hadn’t.” Jennifer frowned. That was strange. They hadn’t given her anything, and she was too smart to have to worry about her getting into things she shouldn’t. “Well, she’s sacked out on their couch now, I told her to let her sleep and passed on your message.” “Thank you.” Jennifer held her head. The room was swaying now, she didn’t like it. She gripped the edge of the table to try and ground herself, but it wasn’t working. Her mind was jumping from one unfinished thought to another, each one making less and less sense, but leaving her with the feeling she was on to something miraculous if only she could see the bigger picture. And the deja vu! She had had this conversation with Carol before, hadn’t she? “I don’t mean to cut our conversation short, but would you mind if I laid down for a bit? I’m feeling a bit woozy.” “Oh, of course, just go down the hall and first door to your left. Oh and, I got you something at the pharmacy, but don’t be mad.” Huh? What was she talking about? And that look on her face could only mean trouble. Jennifer watched as Carol pulled something from her pocket and tossed it at her. She tried to catch it, but wasn’t even close and watched as a small bottle of what looked like lotion skittered to a halt on the kitchen floor. She bent down and picked it up before examining it. Jennifer read the label before eying Carol with pursed lips. “In case you change your mind.” Carol said with a wink. Jennifer didn’t feel like arguing right now, so she slipped the bottle in her pocket without a word and made her way to the spare bedroom. Once there, she collapsed on the bed and moaned into the pillow. The room was swaying back and forth. Was it from the wine or the expired marijuana? Did that even expire? All she knew was never again. Something was poking her waist. Jennifer slowly reached into her pocket and pulled out the bottle and eyed it darkly as she read the label. For clitoral stimulation. Why had Carol given this to her? She had no interest in doing that. It was dirty and shameful. Without thinking, she popped the lid off and sniffed it. It smelled odd. Besides, how would this stimulate anything? It was nothing but a placebo, she was sure of it. She squirted some on her finger. It felt just like regular lotion. She rubbed her fingers together. It was a placebo, it wouldn’t work unless she wanted it to. She could probably put it on and nothing would happen. Would that prove she wasn’t interested in sex? Then would Carol drop this line of thinking? The next thing Jennifer knew, she was wiping it off on herself. It went on cold, and slimy. There, she tried it. There was a knock on the door. Jennifer quickly put the bottle back in her pocket and sat up as Carol walked in. “Hi, sorry, thought you might want an extra blanket and a bottle of water.” “Thank you.” “Are you alright?” Carol asked, looking over her with a questioning glance. Jennifer could feel heat rushing to her face, along with somewhere else. “Yes, I’ll be fine,” Jennifer said, forcing a pained looking smile as she shifted in place. It was getting warmer now. Why on earth had she gone and done that for? She had no intention of following through! “Are you sure? You look a bit uncomfortable.” Jennifer was sweating. It was too warm! Too itchy! Too…too… “Ah!” she sprung out of the bed and pumped her legs in place. “What is this?” she pulled the bottle out of her pocket and held it up. Carol stared at her wide-eyed for a moment in shock before bursting into laughter. “How much did you use?” “I don’t know! I was just smelling it and next thing I knew it was in my palm and-” Jennifer let out a groan. “It burns.” “You only needed a dab.” Carol said through her laughter. “You can wash it off in the shower.” Jennifer followed her to a closet, fidgeting all the way. There she was handed a towel, and given instructions on how to use the shower's knobs. She closed the bathroom door behind her and groaned into her hands, still hearing Carol’s giggles retreating down the hall. She didn’t even wait for the water to warm all the way before jumping in. Jennifer had to get this stuff off her. She grabbed a washcloth that was hanging on a handrail and used it to wipe herself. Ugh, slimy. She wiped again. Still slimy. How was it possible it was getting warmer? She began to frantically scrub, desperate to get it off her skin. Jennifer was starting to panic. Her heart was racing. Her breaths came in short gasps. Then the next thing she knew, there was an electrical current running up her belly. Her lower half began to pulse and throb. She stopped scrubbing as a wave of relief washed over her. What the hell was that? It almost reminded her of the time she had… A sinking shameful feeling began to form in the pit of her stomach. No! She hadn’t been trying to! She hadn’t meant to! “Keep telling yourself that, Jen. Just like you keep telling yourself you didn’t enjoy those nighttime visits.” No! No! Not again! Jennifer slowly turned and looked out through the glass shower door. She could see the blurry outline of a figure standing in the bathroom. “I didn’t.” Jennifer mumbled weakly. “Oh really? Your mouth says one thing, but your bedsheets always said another.” “No! Stop it!” Jennifer moaned. Her hands were covering her ears. She didn’t want to remember. “If you didn’t like it, you wouldn’t have cum.” The shame. The self loathing. She was sinking. Drowning in the memories. Or she would have been if not for the sudden, intense pain in her side. It was as if someone had taken a baseball bat to her. She bent over, moaning. She was seeing spots, but just as sudden as it had started, the pain vanished. Jennifer stood bent over underneath the stream of water and tried to get her bearings. She looked up. The blurry figure behind the glass was gone. She slowly straightened up and felt along her side. Nothing. No pain, no tenderness. What in the world? Was it a stomach cramp? Whatever it was, she couldn’t have asked for better timing. It had snapped her out from her spiral and back to reality. When Jennifer emerged from the shower, she made her way back to the spare bedroom, put on her night gown and crawled into bed. No matter how much she had washed herself, she still felt dirty. She didn’t want to think about what she had done. What she wanted more than anything was innocence. She wanted to be in her classroom. She wanted to see the light and joy in children's eyes. But what she wanted most of all was her innocence, even if she knew it was something she could never have. The last thing she thought about before sleep overcame her was her daughter. She hoped Matilda was having a better night than she was. If Jennifer couldn’t have her innocence, then the least she could do was watch out for Matilda’s.

Thanks, I think I figured it out

Thanks ^^ How do you link your stories under your name like that?

Matilda watched as Hortensia appeared in the living room carrying the biggest bowl of ice cream she had ever seen, before joining her on the couch. “You should choke more often.” Hortensia said, beaming at her as if it had been something they had planned together all along. “You didn’t have to drop me on the floor after.” Matilda rasped out, voice barely over a whisper. She had the feeling Hortensia had been in utter shock when the piece of pork chop had actually dislodged itself that she forgot she still had Matilda hoisted into the air and had simply let go. Hortensia shrugged and began to pile ice cream in her mouth as if those minor inconsequential details didn’t matter. Matilda supposed they didn’t really. Being sore was better than being dead, and it was much more than her mom had done for her. Eve had been fussing over her ever since, asking if she wanted anything every couple of minutes. Matilda was content with the cup of applesauce she had been given. It was much easier to swallow and eased her raw and aching throat. Matilda guessed it was her way of apologizing. Hortensia found it amusing whenever she ran in the room every time she heard a cough, she had even coughed on purpose just to see if she’d run in. What she did not find as amusing was being showered in praise. Matilda noticed she looked very uncomfortable whenever Eve had thanked her for her quick reflexes and thinking on her feet. It was clear to Matilda that Hortensia didn’t know how to take a compliment. “But I wasn’t thinking. I only knew because of a scene in a comic book.” Hortensia mumbled when Eve had finally left the room for the 8th time in the last hour. “What if she expects me to know what to do next times there’s a problem?” “I think she’s just surprised you beat her to it.” Matilda said. “She didn’t even realize I was choking until you said something.” She was even more surprised than Eve. Hadn’t she just been fanaticizing about smacking her for not paying attention to her surrounds? And speaking of smacking… Matilda gingerly rubbed at her upper belly and grimaced. While some of the thrusts had hit their intended target, others had not. Two of Hortensia’s blows had been too high and to the left, landing themselves directly into the bottom of her rib cage. Instead of keeping her fists in place, Hortensia had essentially assaulted her stomach and ribs with a barrage of punches followed by her lifting Matilda into the air in what Matilda could only guess was an attempt to crack her like a glow stick. Yet the physical pain she was in was a welcome change. It gave her mind something else to think about. Now the lump in her throat had all but disappeared, and she had been able to find her voice again. When Eve came into the room again a half hour later, the longest she had gone without checking on them, Matilda asked if she had heard anything from Miss Honey. It was getting late and Matilda wanted nothing more than to climb into bed. “Oh, yes, Mrs. Rodgers had called while you were asleep earlier. They’re keeping her overnight for observation.” Matilda was about to ask why she hadn’t been given the phone, but Eve chimed in answering the question before the words could leave her mouth. “She told me not to wake you.” Her heart gave a small twinge of pain as the voice in the back of her head reminded her she was being left out again. “Did she say anything else?” “Miss Honey wants you to know she loves you.” Matilda’s head shot up. “You talked to her?” “No, Mrs. Rodgers said she was under sedation.” Matilda lowered her head. “Oh.” she said, feeling disappointed. “Then it wasn’t really her who said it.” “She told me a little bit of what happened. She said you walked in on Miss Honey having some kind of episode, and it scared you.” Matilda looked away. She didn’t want to talk about this. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself before changing the subject. “Am I staying here?” “Yes, I’ll make a spot for you on the couch. Let’s see, first things first,” Eve flipped up Matilda’s shirt, in what Matilda could only guess was to check the diaper, but she saw eyes begin to travel up. “Can you take this off?” she asked. Matilda eyed Hortensia, the idea of being seen in nothing but a diaper was about as appealing as trying to eat another piece of pork chop, but the older girl's attention was transfixed to the tv screen. When Matilda began grimacing in pain, Eve stepped in and helped. “Ooh,” Eve said with a grimace of her own. She looked Matilda up and down. “Was that from earlier?” Matilda nodded. It was about the only body part she could move without causing her core to ache. “How am I going to explain this to your mom?” she groaned. “She’s going to think I beat you. Does it hurt?” “It’s a bit sore when I move. OW, no, don’t touch it!” Eve let out a sigh. “Somehow you always manage to get hurt here. I don’t think you’ve broken anything, I think it’s just bruised. Even if you do have a cracked rib, there’s nothing that can be done for it but rest and time. At this rate, I’ll feel fortunate to give you back with all your fingers and toes.” “Better than being dead.” Matilda said. “Yes, very much so, but you’re not supposed to look like you’ve been given chest compressions from abdominal thrusts. The saying ‘If you’re not breaking ribs you’re not doing it right’ is only meant to refer to CPR.” Matilda hissed in pain and smacked Eve’s hand away when she began pressing on the purple raised spot again. “It’s like I got CPR from the back.” “What? Like ass to mouth resuscitation?” Hortensia said with a snicker. “You better watch that mouth of yours.” Eve said with a shake of her head. “Cynthia’s coming over tomorrow morning to check in while I’m at work. You remember what happened last time?” “Ugh, why?” Hortensia complained. “It was her stupid fat kid's fault.” she grumbled. In the midst of arguing with her daughter, Eve proceeded to rip the tapes off Matilda’s diaper. While quite glad to be out of the sweaty thing, Matilda did not appreciate being stripped naked in the living room for all to see. “Hey!” she shouted, quickly bending to cover herself before immediately regretting it. “Sorry, dear, I keep forgetting you’re not one of my patients.” “Don’t you work with old people?” Matilda asked skeptically. “Yes, but they're not always with it. Some have dementia, some have hearing loss, so you have to be very firm and direct with them, or they won’t hear or understand you.‘Tens is always after me to use my inside voice. And none of them bat an eye when they come strolling out to dinner in their birthday suit. What?” Matilda was gripping her side in pain, but she couldn’t stop laughing. All this time she was afraid Eve had been treating her like a baby, but it was the exact opposite. She was treating her like a geriatric. She couldn’t stop picturing herself bent over with a walker and searching for her dentures, which only made her laugh more. “You broke her.” Hortensia said. “Says the person who tried to snap her in half.” “G-get off my lawn!” Matilda said shaking a fist before doubling over from the pain of laughing as she gasped for breath. “Yep, she’s broken.” “Alright, I’m glad you're feeling better, but let's calm down before you hurt yourself more. Do you think you can make it to the bathroom on your own or do you need help?” “I need my walker!” Matilda said, now silently shaking from the effort of holding in suppressed giggles. “Okay silly, I’ll be your walker, give me your hands, up we go.” Matilda groaned in pain as she was lifted to a standing position, all thoughts of modesty gone. “Go potty, then I’ll give you something for the pain. Do you need help?” Matilda shook her head and slowly hobbled over to go take care of business, not fond of how much it hurt to get on and off the toilet. Once she was done, she peeked her head out the bathroom door. She didn’t care for the thought of streaking back into the living room, so she yelled out she was done. “Meet me in ‘Tens room. I’ll be there in a minute.” came the reply. When Matilda got to the bed, she discovered a problem. She couldn’t pull herself up. The more she tried, the more sharp pains greeted her with every breath. Matilda stood awkwardly to the side, and waited for Eve to get her something to wear. She eyed a towel on the ground she could cover up with, but she quickly found bending over was as impossible as pulling herself up. She let out a growl of frustration. When Eve finally made her way back, she was carrying the diaper from before in one hand and a small medicine cup of red liquid in the other. Matilda quickly downed it without hesitating before making a face. Children’s Cherry flavored Tylenol. She recognized the taste from the last time she was here with a fever. “I wish my patients were as good about taking their medicine as you are.” Eve said taking the cup from her. “Now let’s get this back on you. Hop up on the bed.” “I can’t. It hurts too much. Can’t I go without it? I don’t need them anymore, I swear!” Matilda said taking a reflexive step back. “Tell you what, put this on tonight, and you can take it off in the morning. You’ve had one disaster after another today. In fact, it wouldn’t surprise me one bit, previous bed wetter or not, if you didn’t make it through the night. I wouldn’t blame you one bit, so how about we save both of us the stress of ‘what if’s’ and you just worry about getting a good night sleep. ” When Matilda didn’t answer, Eve added, “They're all the rage at the nursing home.” causing her to crack a smile. “Fine.” Matilda grumbled. She knew even if she said no, Eve was just going to do it by force. She whimpered from the pain as she was picked up and laid down. “The medicine will kick in soon.” Eve said to reassure her as she pinned the old diaper back on with bobby pins. “There, all done. I’ve made you a spot to sleep on the couch.” She offered a hand up to Matilda, but she hesitated. “Can I sleep here?” Matilda asked softly. The thought of trying to get off the bed made her break out in a sweat. “No, sorry, I can’t have Hortensia sleep out there, she’ll stay up all night watching tv.” Matilda pointed to the tv in her room. “It doesn’t get the channels she watches. You didn’t have a problem sleeping on the couch earlier. What’s wrong?” “I can’t get down. It’s my arthritis.” Matilda said with a slight smile. “Very funny.” Eve said, before bending down and scooping her up behind her neck and knees and carrying her fireman style back to the couch. “You’ve got water, pillows, blankets, anything else you need before I turn out the lights?” Matilda shook her head and nestled underneath the blankets. “Hortensia! No, turn off the tv, and go to your room.” “But it’s not even nine!” Hortensia complained. “I can’t sleep this early!” “You don’t have to go to bed, just go in your room, so Matilda can sleep in peace. Go read one of your little picture books you like so much.” Matilda buried her face in the blanket to hide the snicker while Hortensia ground her teeth. “They’re comic books. Com-ics!” “Yes, yes, whatever.” Eve said while following her daughter down the hall before flicking off the lights, leaving Matilda alone in the dark. “Good night,” she heard called out before two doors closed. Matilda laid there for a moment lost in thought. How long had it been since she got to sleep alone? This was kind of nice. She closed her eyes and listened to the sound of…nothing. No one was breathing next to her, or sleep talking. No one was hogging the blankets. When was the last time? The Trunchbull’s crazed face as she tried to strangle her entered her mind. Matilda eyes sprang open. That was the last time she had slept in an empty room. Now Matilda didn’t feel so alone, and not in a good way. She scanned the darkness for threats. “Think about the good things,” she whispered to herself. No bed hogs, no fighting over blankets, no Miss Honey trying to attack her in her sleep. Matilda frowned. No Miss Honey to hold her. No Miss Honey to talk about her day with. No Miss Honey. Matilda forced her eyes closed, ignoring the moisture now spilling from them, and quietly cried herself to sleep. When Matilda awoke again, the room was still dark and empty. She turned her head and stared at the digital clock on the VCR. It was only 3:30 in the morning. She shuffled her feet as she realized what had awakened her. Matilda quietly groaned in annoyance. She had to pee. Couldn’t it wait till morning? She tried to go back to sleep, but found it was impossible. Fine, you win, she thought. The sooner she got up and went to the bathroom, the sooner she could snuggle back under the covers. Only, when she tried to sit up, she was met with an excruciating stab of pain that made her sink back down on the pillow at once. It took Matilda a moment to focus on her bearings. She slowly tried to inch herself back up but froze. The most she could do was get herself into a sitting position by leaning her back against the arm rest before the pain won out. The Tylenol had clearly worn off, and now she sat unsure of what to do. She really needed the bathroom now, but she couldn’t get up without help, and help was still sleeping. Matilda looked again at the clock. What time would they get up on a Sunday? 7:00 am? 8:00 am? What if they slept in? Four more hours at best. Matilda began to panic. She couldn’t wait that long! It was actually starting to hurt to hold it in. She’d have to figure out a way to get herself up, but try as she might, the pain was only getting worse each time she hoisted herself up or tried to turn her torso. It left no other choice. She’d have to call out for help and hope someone heard her. Would Eve be angry if she woke her up? Matilda gripped the front of the dry diaper and squeezed. She couldn’t hold it in this way like she could with regular underwear. There was too much padding. There was another thought. She could just pretend she wet the bed. Eve had said she wouldn’t be surprised or angry. Miss Honey had made her use them before. It would be easy enough to just…let go. Matilda made a face of disgust. What was she thinking about? She loathed sitting in her own urine. Besides, she had to prove she didn’t need these things anymore, and there was something even more shameful about having an accident while she was awake. “Hello?” Matilda finally moaned into the empty air. “I need help!” She waited, but no one came. She tried again. Nothing. Now she was starting to sob. “Please! Anyone!” Finally, she heard a door begin to creep open as heavy footsteps began to approach. “Is that you making all that noise?” A half asleep Hortensia asked. “I need the bathroom, but I can’t get up on my own.” Matilda said. “Why not?” Hortensia mumbled. “Because my side hurts!” Matilda said. “Pull me up.” Matilda let out a howl of pain as Hortensia tried to get her up. “Stop! Stop!” Matilda begged, clutching her side. “I’ll get Ma.” Hortensia said before shuffling back down the hall. Matilda waited and squirmed in place, but instead of Eve, only Hortensia emerged looking sheepish. “She told me to give you some more Tylenol.” Matilda watched her pour out the medicine before coming back and handing it to her. Matilda downed it and handed the cup back. “Is she coming?” Matilda asked. “No,” Hortensia said avoiding eye contact. “But I need the bathroom!” Matilda nearly cried. “Yeah, she said if you’re in that much pain to just, umm, go in the diaper.” Matilda let out a horrified whimper. “Sorry,” Hortensia said. “Maybe you’ll be able to get up once the Tylenol kicks in?” Hortensia was about to leave, but Matilda stopped her. “Don’t leave!” Matilda nearly shouted before she could stop herself. “Could you stay and try and get me up again if I can’t?” “I’m tired.” Hortensia complained. “I want to go back to bed.” Matilda dangled the tv remote in front of her. “Fine.” she grumbled. Matilda had her hands balled into fists at her side as she tried to focus on the screen. Each attempt to get up every five to ten minutes was only met with more pain. Hortensia kept looking from the screen back to Matilda. Finally, Hortensia sighed and turned off the tv. “Dude, c’mon, it can’t be that bad.” Hortensia said. “You broke my rib! Yes, it hurts that bad!” Matilda said with tears running down her face. “I didn’t mean that, I meant, uhh, you know…” Hortensia mumbled. “Wouldn’t it just be easier to…” “No!” Matilda hissed, shooting her a death glare. “Try and pick me up again.” “Dude, no, I’m just going to hurt you more.” “Please, I- I can’t-” They both jumped when they heard the other bedroom door swing open. “Hortensia! You better not be out there watching television! Get back to bed!” Eve shouted. Hortensia flashed an apologetic look before shuffling back down the hall. “Get the wipes and a clean diaper from your closet while you’re at it.” Matilda gritted her teeth as Eve approached. She didn’t need a new diaper, she just needed up! She had to cover her eyes as Eve flipped on the light switch. Eve was standing there in a brown bathrobe looking as bleary-eyed and exhausted as Hortensia had been. “Alright, let’s get you situated, so we can all go back to bed.” she mumbled. “I just need help up!” Matilda said with urgency as she squirmed underneath the blankets. “Matilda,” Eve said sounding a bit annoyed. “Didn’t ‘Tens tell you what I wanted you to do?” “No,” Matilda moaned. “‘No’ ‘Tens didn’t tell you or ‘No’ you’re not going to do it?” Matilda glared at her defiantly. “You better wipe that look off your face, young lady.” “Why won’t you help me?” Matilda cried. “I’m trying to help you, but you’re making this very difficult.” Eve said sounding very tired. “This isn’t helping! All I need is to be put on my feet!” “And then what, hmm? How do you expect to get on and off the toilet if you can’t get on and off the couch?” “You helped me earlier.” Matilda said looking away. “Matilda,” Eve said before taking a breath and running a hand down her face. “This is why I had you wear a diaper during the night, because I didn’t think you’d make it to the morning.” “I don’t wet the bed anymore.” Matilda said. “I told you that!” “You’re supposed to be the genius here, I didn’t think I needed to spell it out for you. When I said It was okay if you did, it was supposed to be an invitation, not a challenge to prove me wrong. I had you wear it for this very reason in case you woke up and couldn’t manage by yourself, so you could just relieve yourself and go back to sleep. ” Matilda wrinkled her face in disgust. “Then you’d just think I wet the bed.” “Matilda, I wouldn’t have cared as long as there wasn’t a mess for me to deal with.” “I’d care, especially if you told Miss Honey.” Matilda mumbled, “but it’s not like she wants me anymore.” “Is that what this is all about? You don’t want me telling your mom?” Matilda sniffled before slowly nodding her head. Eve sighed. “And if I promised this stays between us? Then would you go? Please? I can’t keep picking you up, I have a bad back, and it’s really acting up tonight.” “Why didn’t you just say that to begin with?” Matilda asked. “I would have done it if I knew you were in pain.” “Why isn’t your own pain motivation enough?” Eve asked with a shake of her head, but Matilda could tell she looked much less annoyed. “Because I’d rather hurt outside than inside.” she mumbled, before hiding herself underneath the blanket. She tried to relax, but her body refused to listen. Matilda let out an annoyed huff. She had been on the verge of losing control mere seconds ago, but now that it was okay, her bladder refused to empty. No one would listen to her. Not even her own body. She couldn’t seem to do anything right. “You don’t need to cry, shh, come on out, and I’ll help you get cleaned up.” Matilda stayed where she was. Crying seemed to be all she was good for. “Matilda.” She felt the blanket getting lifted off her head, but it only made her cry harder. She wanted to curl into a ball, but she couldn’t. “Are you all done going potty?” “I c-can’t!” It was hurting to breath. “I want to, but I can’t, and it hurts, and I don’t want to make you mad, but it’s all I seem to do is make people mad.” Now she could feel all the blankets getting pulled off. “Hey, it’s okay, I’m not mad, see? Try and take some deep breaths for me, okay? Maybe you’re just too upset now.” She could feel Eve brushing her hair back. She wanted to pull away, but there was nowhere to go. Matilda batted her hand away. That was Miss Honey’s thing she did for her and now…and now… Was this the disgust Miss Honey felt when looking at her? Is this what she felt when Matilda had touched her? Matilda couldn’t take this feeling anymore. She needed to feel something else. Anything else! She forced her torso and legs around into an upright sitting position and yelled out in pain. “Matilda, what are you doing!? Stop it! Lay down, you’re hurting yourself!” “It’s better.” Matilda said, still sobbing. “No, it’s not! What are you talking about?” “It’s better than the other pain.” she moaned. “What other pain?” Matilda pointed at her chest. “Well of course your chest hurts.” Matilda shook her head. “I don’t understand. Is it your heart? Does your heart hurt?” Matilda slowly nodded. “Did someone break your heart?” Matilda nodded again. “Who?” “Miss Honey.” She hadn’t planned on telling anyone about what had happened, especially not Eve, but the next thing she knew, she found herself pouring her heart out, from being locked in the room, to the look of disgust in Miss Honey’s eyes, to the absolute terror that consumed her at the thought of going back to the loveless life she had lived after being shown how wonderful it could feel to be wanted. “That’s certainly not like Jennifer, but Matilda, I can absolutely promise she loves you. I don’t think anything is ever going to change that.” Eve said after quietly listening to her lament. “But you weren’t there! You didn’t see the look she gave me!” “You’re right, I wasn’t there, but Mrs. Rodger’s said she was having some kind of episode. I don’t know what she meant by that, but it’s clear to me, she wasn’t acting like herself. She may not have been aware of her surroundings, or who she was talking to. If it’s anything like the ‘episodes’ I see the patients go through, there’s no telling when or where she thought she was.” “I guess.” Matilda mumbled. “I promise. She is not going to send you away. All we can do is hope she’s getting the help she needs right now, so you don’t get caught in the crosshairs again. I can see this has deeply affected you. I know it’s easier said than done, but try not to take it personally. We’ve all done things we didn’t mean to when we were scared or upset, even adults.” Matilda turned her head and stared at the newly replaced back patio door feeling a pang of guilt. She had done plenty of things she hadn’t meant to under emotional duress. “Oww, don’t.” Matilda whined, blocking her stomach from the sudden invading prods. “Dear, not to change the subject, but I really need you to go pee. It's worrying me that you need to but can’t. Do you think it’s a mental thing? I know you don’t want to go in the diaper. Do you think that’s what the problem is?” Matilda shrugged in response and cradled her lower belly. The fullness was starting to ache. “Because I’d much rather it be a mental problem than a physical one. I can work around a mental one. I still don’t think it’s a good idea to take you to the restroom, because I may not be able to help you on and off the toilet without hurting you even more.” Matilda hung her head. “But, do you think you can walk if I manage to get you on your feet?” Matilda nodded eagerly. “Do you think you’d have an easier time if you stood in the grass out back?” Matilda could feel her face flush, but it was still better than peeing on herself. It always burned her skin and no matter how well she was wiped down, she never felt clean until she took a bath. “It might, but what about your back?” “I’d rather have peace of mind knowing it’s nothing more serious. I was more concerned about dropping you onto the hard toilet. At least this way, you’ll only fall back on the couch if my back spasms while lifting you.” “What happened to it?” “My back? I was hit by a car as a teen.” Matilda grimaced. “Make sure you look both ways while crossing the street, are you ready? Lift out your arms.” They both grunted in pain, but they managed. Yes! She was on her feet! And she was walking, albeit while holding on to Eve’s arm, but she was doing it! Just a few more steps and… no! No. No. No. Matilda let out a soft whimper. She stopped walking and crossed her legs. Not now, not after all that work of getting her up! “What? What is it? Are you in pain? Do you need a break or…” She saw Eve’s eyes searching for the source of the hissing sound until they stopped on her waist. She felt a hand give her shoulder a pat. “Just let it happen, dear, it’s alright, uncross your legs. There’s a good girl. ” “I’m sorry!” Matilda groaned before averting her eyes. With a grimace, she stood as still as a statue, helpless to stop the flow of urine now surging out like water from a pressure hose into the rapidly expanding padding. She wasn’t sure whether to feel relieved or disgusted. Would Eve be angry she had gotten her up for nothing? Clearly there was diddly squat keeping her from peeing now. “There isn’t anything to be sorry for, you go on and finish.” It felt like one of the awkwardest minutes of Matilda’s life as she stood there, legs now forced apart from the swollen garment. Was she done? She couldn’t tell. The noise had stopped, but everything was just so warm and wet against her skin. Ick. She hated this feeling. Eve was rubbing circles on her back now. At least she wasn’t angry. “All done? Ready to go back?” Matilda nodded her head and gave one last scowl towards the backyard. She couldn’t have held it another minute? “Gross. Gross. Gross.” Matilda chanted with every step. “I’ll get you fixed up and into something dry. I’m just glad you were able to go. Maybe it had to do with the way you were sitting and walking loosened up your muscles.” “I don’t want to do this again.” Matilda complained as she slowly lowered herself back on the couch with Eve’s help. “I know you don’t, and hopefully you won’t be in as much pain. It’s going to be up to Cynthia tomorrow though on what to do. You need to be a good girl for her and do as she says, even if you don’t like it.” Matilda shuddered as her bottom half was exposed to the cold air. “If she wants you to use diapers, I don’t want you arguing with her. If she can help you get to the bathroom, that’s fine, but I’m going to ask her to stay in there with you.” “What? No!” Matilda protested. “Honey, no offense, but I’ve never met a more accident-prone child than you, and I’m not talking about what comes out. I need to give you back to Miss Honey in one piece and so far, we’re off to a terrible start. Brace yourself this is going to be cold.” Matilda grimaced as she felt herself getting wiped down. No matter how many times she went through this, it never got easier. “I don’t want some stranger watching me use the bathroom or changing me.” Matilda grumbled. “Would you rather ‘Tens do it?” Eve asked, eye-brows raised. “NO!” Matilda nearly shouted. “I didn’t think so.” she said with a smirk. “There, all done, was that really so bad?” “Yes,” Matilda said, arms crossed over her chest. “Oh, stop pouting, you’ll be fine. A few wet diapers won’t hurt you.” Eve said as she spread the blanket over her. Matilda wanted to argue, but all she could manage was a large yawn. “Go back to sleep, I’ll check on you in the morning before I leave for work.” Matilda sighed as the lights were flicked off, and she was left alone once again. There was something about being in a diaper that made her feel so small and helpless. She felt like she was stuck in a never ending cycle of getting hurt or sick and ending back up in diapers no matter how hard she tried to stay out of them. Did other kids go through the same thing? She never heard anyone mention it before, but maybe it was just one of those things everyone went through but no one talked about. Matilda couldn’t be the only one this unlucky. Hopefully she wouldn’t be in this much pain come tomorrow. She let out another yawn, glad to be comfortable once again, and looked at the time. It was 3:50 in the morning. She was asleep before the clock struck four.

Thank you! The last couple of weeks I've been having an hour commute to work, so lots of time to daydream about the story.

Matilda stood at the black gate in front of Hortensia’s house feeling stunned as she watched Mrs. Rodger’s car drive away. “Pumpkins.” she mumbled as a new wave of tears fought for escape and blurred her vision. “What was that?” Hortensia’s mom asked. Matilda shook her head. Eve stared down at her looking unsure of what to do or how to approach her. The last time they had met, Matilda had sent them all to the hospital by blowing up their glass sliding door out of anger. Now Matilda had been dropped off on their doorstop in tears with no warning and little explanation other than, “Her mom’s ill, please watch her, I’ll call you later and explain.” Matilda followed her inside, hiccuping along the way. “I know you’re upset, but let’s try and calm down. You’re going to make yourself sick. Why don’t you join ‘Tens on the couch, and she can put on a movie for you.” Matilda made her way into the living room where Hortensia’s attention was glued to the screen with her left hand in a bag of potato chips. She looked away as Matilda climbed up, seemingly noticing her presence for the first time. “Hey, what are you doing here squirt?” Hortensia took one look at her face and added. “And what did ma do to you? MA!” “What?” Eve said, hands on her hips. “What did you do to make her cry?” “I didn’t do anything, she came this way.” “Well, what happened?” “I don’t know.” Eve said shaking her head. “Someone from the school just dropped her off in a bit of a panic. Said Miss Honey was ill, didn’t say with what.” “From the school? On a Saturday? Ohh, that must be Mrs. Rodger’s.” Hortensia pursed her lips. “You’re not sick too, are you?” Hortensia scooted as far to the other side of the couch as she could and made a cross with her fingers. “Stop picking on her; she’s upset. Actually, come here ‘Tens.” “What did I do?” Hortensia scowled. “I was just joking!” “Just come here, I want to talk to you.” Hortensia let out a loud annoyed huff as if she had just been told she had to clean the entire house by herself before following her mom into the hallway. Matilda sat awkwardly by herself, trying not to think about anything. She stared at the television without really seeing it. “Ma, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” she heard Hortensia say from the hall. She had clearly not mastered the art of keeping her voice down. “You’re going to make her more upset than she already is.” Matilda had the distinct impression they were talking about her, even if Hortensia wasn’t making it obvious. Whatever it was they thought would upset her was fine. She didn’t care. Nothing could possibly make her feel worse than she already felt. When Hortensia came back, she leaned over and whispered, “I tried.” “Matilda, dear, would you come back here for a minute?” Matilda stood and before making her way down the hall, met Hortensia’s eyes. Sorry, the older girl silently mouthed. She walked down the hall, searching for where the voice had called her from. She found Eve sitting on Hortensia’s bed. Matilda stopped in the doorway, head down and shoulders slumped. “Come have a seat.” Eve said, patting the spot on the bed next to her. Once Matilda had sat, Eve continued. “What’s got you so down? Do you want to talk about it?” Matilda shook her head. “Is there anything we can do to make you feel better?” Matilda shook her head again. “Are you worried about Miss Honey?” Instead of responding, she just sat there taking in the disaster that was Hortensia’s room. She didn’t want to have this conversation. She didn’t want to think about it. “I SAID DON’T TOUCH ME!” Matilda hid her face in her hands and began to bawl. “I told you not to do it!” they heard coming from the front of the house. Eve stood up and closed the bedroom door before sitting back down. “Your mommy’s going to be just fine, there’s nothing to worry about, honey. Did she get bit again?” Matilda shook her head. What had happened in those two minutes she was gone? One minute she had been telling her she loved her and the next… “I TOLD YOU NOT TO TOUCH ME!” What had she done wrong? Miss Honey had never yelled at her like that, let alone shove her away. A sinking feeling began to grow in the pit of Matilda’s stomach. It only left one option. Miss Honey knew. Tiny legs crawling over the upholstery. Tiny legs crawling over the Trunchbull’s arms, her legs, her back, her face. The Trunchbull losing control of the car. Crash. Matilda continued to violently sob. She didn’t know how to handle this…this guilt. There was so much. I killed someone. I killed Miss Trunchbull. So many spiders. So much guilt. She hates you for killing her aunt. That’s why she looked at you with such disgust. She let Eve hold her. Part of her was still angry at Eve, but it was buried so far down and away from the surface it didn’t matter. They sat together in silence until Matilda’s sobs became dry hiccups. “Why are you covered in dirt?” Eve asked, after pulling an arm away to find it black. “It’s even in your hair, and all over your arms. Have you been crawling under beds?” And into air vents, Matilda thought with a sniffle. “You're taking a bath young lady.” Matilda sat numbly in place and watched as Eve began to untie her shoes and slip them off before doing the same to her socks. She let herself get led to the bathroom by the hand and watched as Eve began to fill the tub. “Get undressed.” Eve ordered. Matilda just stood there. Her arms felt too heavy. Her whole body seemed to suddenly feel too heavy. Besides, she could do this herself in private, but right now, she just didn’t care. Fighting Eve just felt like too much work. “Not feeling very independent today, are we? That’s alright, let me help you.” Matilda felt her shirt get pulled over her head before Eve tugged her pants and underwear down in one swift motion. “Step out.” Matilda lifted her leg up obediently, but felt herself start to stumble back. Eve caught her before she could fall and stared at her, eyes now full of concern. “Are you feeling okay?” Matilda shrugged. “You’re probably just exhausted from all that crying. A quick bath and then I’ll put you down for a nap on the couch before dinner. Do you want to try going potty before your bath?” Matilda shook her head. She had to draw the line somewhere. “Well, how about we just try.” She felt herself get picked up and set on the toilet. What was the point of asking her then? Eve was staring at her expectantly now. If it was any other day she would have said something, but she felt too apathetic, so she just averted her eyes and did as she was told. The roar of rushing water from the bathtub made it easy at least and masked the tinkling sound of urine. "All done?" Eve asked. Matilda nodded. She reached for the toilet paper and pulled off a couple squares, but frowned when it fell from her hand and onto the floor. "Don't worry about it, you're going in the bath anyway. Just sit tight until the waters ready." Matilda had nearly nodded off before Eve told her she was ready for her. When Matilda hopped down from the toilet, she began feeling lightheaded and stumbled a bit. "Woah," Eve said with a frown, "careful now." She thrust out a hand to keep Matilda from crashing into the wall. "Are you sure you're okay?" Matilda nodded, but Eve didn't look convinced. "I think I'll stay here with you. I don't know how I feel about leaving you alone like this." Matilda shrugged. "You sure aren't feeling very talkative today, are you?" Matilda looked away and stared at the blackening bath water. She really had been dirty, no wonder Eve threw her in the tub. "It's alright, you don't have to say anything if you don't want to. I must admit though, you're being very well-behaved. You must have been so ornery last time because you weren't feeling well. Ten's is worried you'll be angry with me for this next part, but I don't think you'll give me any trouble, will you?" Matilda saw Eve reach for her and had to fight back the slight impulse to bite her hand. She had hardly been the ornery one on their last meeting, Matilda thought as she felt her head get dunked under the water. Once Eve had finished scrubbing her down head to toe, Matilda felt even more lightheaded and out of it than earlier. When she stood on the bathmat she had needed to grab onto Eve's waist for support. "At least you're clean." Eve said with a grimace, staring down at her now wet outfit. "Just a little bit longer, and then you can lay down in front of the TV." Matilda was breathing a little heavy by the time she got back to Hortensia's room. She had had trouble standing in place without swaying while Eve dried her off with a towel. She had been so tempted just to sit on the floor. "Go ahead and hop up on the bed while I find you something to wear." Matilda wasted no time. She laid down on her back, feeling snug in her towel and closed her eyes while Eve rummaged through the closet. She was fine just staying here like this. It wasn't until she felt her towel getting tugged away did she open her eyes. Eve was standing over her with a t-shirt and, Matilda would have scowled if she had the energy. "You've been so well-behaved today, you're not going to give me trouble, are you?" So that's what Hortensia had meant when she said she tried to stop her. Matilda tried to shield herself as a way of saying, "no" but Eve just brushed her hands away. Eh, she tried. "Yes, Matilda, you've been a very upset little girl today, so let's just cover all our bases, just in case. Besides, you're going to sleep anyway." Matilda should have told she didn't need them anymore since they had "unplugged" her, but honestly, she found she didn't really care all that much. She laid back down without further protest and felt Eve pat her thigh. "Thank you. Since you're being so good, I think I'll even let you have some ice cream. How does that sound?" Matilda shook her head. She didn't want any ice cream. She just wanted today to never have happened. "You really are feeling out of sorts." Eve said as she taped the diaper in place. She offered her a hand up before helping her into an over sized T-shirt. "Come get me if you need to go potty, and I'll pin it back up when you're done, just like last time. Now let's get you to the couch, I'd let you stay here, but I'd like to keep a closer eye on you. Something's off." Matilda hung on to her neck as Eve picked her up. "It's going to be okay, really." Eve whispered. Matilda felt her eyes begin to water again. Why did she always cry when people told her that? "Shh, shh, no more tears." "Sorry," Hortensia said once she was set down on the couch and Eve had left. "Please don't be angry." Matilda could tell she was scared. She shook her head. She didn't have anything to be scared of. Matilda couldn't blow anything up right now even if she wanted to. "Please don't break the telly." Of course, she'd be worried about that. She wanted to tell her she wasn't angry, but every time she tried, the words kept getting stuck in her throat, so she just gave up and shook her head again. Hortensia frowned and stared at her more closely. "MA!" she yelled. "Did you drug her?!" Eve came back from the kitchen. "No! I did not drug her!” “Then why is she acting like a zombie?” "Then maybe they gave her a Benadryl to calm her down or something. I offered her ice cream, but she didn't even want any." Hortensia stared at her and gave her a look as if she was deeply offended before letting out a deep sigh. "I guess I have no choice, Ma, I'll have to eat it for her." Hortensia said. "The hell you will!" Eve stopped and stared at her for a minute before a smirk appeared on her face. "Actually, sure Tens', you can have some ice cream." Hortensia perked up. "Really?" "Of course, all you have to do is let me put you in a diaper for the evening." Hortensia's shoulders slumped, and she made a disgusted sound. "Tease," she grumbled under her breath. "And don't you even think of egging her on!" she added to Matilda, but Matilda had already curled herself into a ball and shut her eyes, burying her face into her folded arms so no one could see her cry. All it took was another ten minutes before the sounds of the television she so despised were completely gone. The next thing Matilda knew she was being shaken awake. "Sweetheart, it's time for dinner." A voice said softly in her ear. Matilda slowly lifted her head, feeling even more disoriented and unaware of her surrounding than before. She wiped at her mouth with the back of her hand, vaguely aware she had been drooling. How long had she been asleep? She craned her neck and stared out the window. It was dark out now. "Wow, good job! You're dry even after that long nap. I'm impressed." Eve said in a high falsetto used exclusively for very young children. Matilda struggled to focus her eyes until the three Eves that were holding up her shirt and peeking at her waist became one. "MA!" Hortensia yelled from the kitchen. "Cut it out, she's in my year! It's weird." "You don't mind, do you?" Eve asked her without waiting for a reply. Matilda had planned on telling her she wasn't hungry and going back to sleep, but Eve had scooped her off the couch as if she was a rag doll. If her mind had been working, she would have thought Eve was rather enjoying her current state, but the only thing going through Matilda's mind at the moment was relief that she didn't have to walk. "You can tell her to stop." Hortensia whispered to her once she was set down in a chair at the table. "She's treating you like the toddler next door." Matilda shrugged and closed her eyes. “Dude, what's with you? You'd be loosing your shit right now." She'd rather this than someone else be angry with her. The thought made her heart ache. She touched the place Jennifer had touched, her spirit. Is this what she had meant about her spirit breaking? If she explained she hadn't meant to kill her aunt and apologized, could they ever go back to the way they were? “What have I told you about swearing?” Eve said with a scowl. “What? You cuss all the time! Just this morning you burned yourself and was all F-” “Little ears are present.” Eve said, cutting her off. If she thought Hortensia swore too much, she’d have an aneurysm if she spent a single afternoon with Harry down at the shop. It’s not like she caved easily to peer pressure either, although there was the time Hortensia had bet Matilda her pudding if she could say at least 15 cuss words in thirty seconds. It had been a delicious pudding and Hortensia had walked away with the knowledge of how to say “fuck off” in three new languages. She wrote one of them now on the condensation of a glass of water that had been set in front of her and showed Hortensia, who snickered. Matilda brushed the glass with her fingers and wiped away the words. She doubted Eve spoke any German, but just in case. She preferred Eve thinking it was her daughter that was the bad influence instead of the other way around. If she had even the slightest inkling of how much Matilda knew about the things Miss Honey said she had “no business knowing about” Eve would be trying to convince Jennifer to ship her off to a reform school in Antarctica or something. Matilda felt another twinge of regret. Would Jennifer get rid of her? That look of utter disgust ran through her mind one more time. There was no love in those eyes, only revulsion. Maybe she could convince Jenny when the time came to send her to boarding school in Switzerland instead of Antarctica, where her only friends might be penguins. “Do you want me to cut up your pork chop for you?” Eve asked before looking away and dicing the meat before Matilda could respond. Yes, she supposed “Pork chop” would be a cute name for her future waddling friend. She imagined trying to sneak it in to her dorm room without anyone noticing. Maybe it would even let her hold him at night like a big stuffed animal to keep warm. Matilda gritted her teeth when she looked down at the food set in front of her. She had let her imagination get away from her and now when she looked down at the cut up meat all she could see was diced penguin. Now she felt sad all over again. She really did ruin all her relationships, both real and imaginary. “Are you not hungry?” Eve asked her. Matilda shook her head. She hadn’t been hungry even before imagining the life, and death, of her made up companion. There was a lump in her throat that made swallowing difficult. Just the thought of trying to force solids down made her feel like she was choking. “Well I want you to try.” Eve said. “I don’t want your mom thinking I didn’t feed you while you were here. She thinks I was too harsh with you last time, and I’d rather not make her angry again.” So that explains why she had gone from one extreme to the other. Eve wasn’t coddling her because she was upset, she was doing it because she was afraid of Miss Honey’s wrath. Matilda looked over at Hortensia and blinked in surprise. She had only gotten her plate of food three minutes ago, and it was already nearly gone. Watching Hortensia eat never ceased to amaze her. She was like a squirrel stuffing her face with acorns, but a more accurate description to Matilda was a leviathan sea monster or some other Lovecraftian being chowing down on…penguins. What was with her and penguins tonight? “What’s that look for?” Hortensia asked. “She must be disgusted at your table manners.” Eve said in a teasing tone. “You eat like you’ll never see food again. Slow down, and you might even be able to taste it.” Matilda had been wishing they had a dog, so she could sneak it bits of food, but who needed a dog when you had Hortensia. She clapped her hands together in a silent prayer and mouthed please help before pointing at her plate. “What, you don’t like it?” Hortensia asked out loud, drawing Eve’s attention. Matilda wanted to smack her, Hortensia really had no sense of her surroundings. “Matilda, I hope you don’t think I’m dumb enough not to see what you’re trying to do.” Eve said. Matilda quickly shook her head. She could hear a bit of Eve’s customary sharpness underneath the fictitious warmth. “Good, because I had really hoped we could continue on this path of good behavior.” Matilda nodded and stared at her plate of food, which at the moment, seemed as appealing to her as if it really was diced penguin. She picked up her fork before piercing one of the pieces of meat, only to end up dropping it with a loud clang as it landed against the porcelain plate. Matilda cringed as she hastened to pick it up. The last thing she wanted was Eve to think she was stalling. When she finally got it into her mouth, it really wasn’t bad, but when it came time to swallow, it was as she feared. The lump in her throat refused to let anything go down. No matter how much she chewed, her subconscious wasn’t sending the message to the rest of her body to do its job. She reached for a napkin and tried to spit it out as subtly as possible, but Eve wasn’t having it. “Swallow it, chewing isn’t the same as eating.” Matilda took a deep breath through her nose and forced herself to swallow. “Four more pieces, and if you really don’t want anymore after that, I won’t force you.” Matilda looked down at her plate, then back to Eve. She tried giving her the universal choking sign, but Eve just sighed. “I know you're upset, sweetie, but let’s try and be a big girl and use your words now.” Matilda violently shook her head and crossed her hands over her throat again, only to realize it wasn’t getting her anywhere. She looked desperately to Hortensia. Wouldn’t someone realize what was happening? She was running out of air! “Ma, I think she’s choking!” Hortensia said. Matilda nodded and clawed at her neck. It hadn’t gone down all the way, it had only managed to get halfway before lodging itself in her throat. She tried coughing, but couldn’t get enough air to force it back out. “Water! Drink some water!” Eve said thrusting the glass into Matilda’s hands. Matilda tried to swallow a mouthful, only for it to immediately come back up and out. “Try again!” She repeated the process, only for the same thing to keep happening. She was beginning to panic now. Matilda jumped to her feet, unsure of what to do. The next thing she knew, she felt herself being lifted into the air as hands forced themselves right below her ribs and began thrusting over and over. Five times, six times, seven times. Just when she thought she couldn’t take anymore, on the eighth thrust, she felt the piece of meat dislodge itself. It flew from her mouth and onto the floor where Matilda collapsed next to it, panting and gasping for air. Eve stared in shock, not at Matilda, but at Hortensia. “And no one thinks I pay attention in class.” Hortensia said. “I think you just earned your ice cream.” Eve said. ……………………… Jennifer sat in silence in her hospital bed in the emergency room counting the ceiling tiles for the fifth time - there were 128 of them. Mrs. Rodger’s, Carol she kept reminding her, had been sitting next to her in a chair the entire time. “Jen,” Mrs. Rodger’s said, breaking the hour-long silence. “What happened?” Jennifer’s eyes met hers, before hastily darting away. “I don’t know.” She mumbled. “Why did you push Matilda away like that? That wasn’t like you.” “Is she okay?” Jennifer asked, slowly meeting her eyes. “Physically, yes, but if I’m being honest, I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so upset.” Jennifer groaned and hid her face in her hands. Here she had made this big speech about not wanting to hurt her and less than five minutes later Matilda was pulling out her safe word. “Talk to me, Jen. What happened?” Jennifer let out a deep sigh. “I had a flashback. I have them sometimes, but this was so,” she paused, trying to come up with the best way to describe it before finally settling on, “vivid.” She glanced up at Mrs. Rodger’s, who sat patiently waiting for her to continue. “I was looking in the mirror at my childhood self. It was a memory from the night she finally convinced me to reciprocate-” “Coerced.” Mrs. Rodger’s interjected. “You do not ‘convince’ a child, you ‘coerce’ them. Do you understand the difference?” Jennifer bit her lip before nodding. “No matter what she got you to say or do, you didn’t consent. This wasn’t your fault.” Jennifer nodded again before continuing, “Afterwards, I washed my hands until patches of skin peeled off. When I still didn’t feel clean, I burned them with hydrogen peroxide.” Mrs. Rodger’s winced. Jennifer let out a dry, humorless laugh. “I remember when I was very little, I scraped my knee and my father poured some on it. He told me the stinging means it’s cleaning.” “Was this memory, this flashback, what made you ill?” Jennifer slowly shook her head. “What then? What you described sounds awful enough.” “You’ll think I’m crazy.” Jennifer mumbled, feeling the sting of tears. “And it’s not very appropriate, it’s not like I can tell Matilda even though it involves her. I know she wants to know these things, but she’s only five, and it’s not like I have anyone else to really talk to.” She felt Mrs Rodger’s grab her hand and gently squeeze. “You have me, and guess what? I’m not five.” Jennifer sniffled and gave her a weak smile. “If you’re sure.” “I am.” “Why have you been so kind to me?” Jennifer asked. “You’ve taught me to drive, you’ve taken me all over town, you invited us over for Christmas, you’ve stayed in the hospital with Matilda, you’re sitting in the hospital with me now…” “Well, why were you so kind to Matilda?” Mrs. Rodger’s asked. “You were only her teacher, you didn’t have to get so involved.” “How could I not? She’s the most amazing, sensitive, intelligent child I’ve ever met, but when I looked into her eyes, all I could see was this lonely little girl who needed someone to step up and show her she wasn’t alone.” Jennifer felt her hand get squeezed again. She looked up. “Matilda’s not the only lonely, little girl I see. I think it’s pastime someone showed you you’re not alone either.”

What side of the tracks are you from? I've never heard some of these expressions before.

Um, I think that would be true for most forums ?

Omoroshi.org No big loss, those guys will jack off to anything, but I’ve been posting stories there for almost 10 years and have never had an issue.

Alright, this story has gotten me banned from one website already. The reason for the ban says use of underage characters. … Pretty much all my stories follow underage characters and they aren’t meant to be taken sexually. I had a lot of bathroom related, uh, issues as a kid, and it caused a lot of shame and humiliation for me from adults in my life. All I wanted growing up was for one adult not to shame and belittle me. So I channel that into my writing, and I find it very therapeutic to write about. It’s not a kink for me. I post stories here because I think “who’d want to read stories about people having accidents?”

Right? I've always thought so too. You can't just adopt a kid and expect to live happily ever after.