Meidekind

Who's Bubba? Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Hi DLenforcer, I think it's great you're helping your girlfriend like you do! It seems everyone has already mentioned practically every option worth exploring. There's a few things that I thought of when reading through the topic. First, I was wondering how heavy a wetter she is? I couldn't figure it out based on what's been written: you mention somewhere that she's got a 70% success rate with pull-ups. That's not much better than nothing at all! The mattress is still going to be spoiled in no time. I think pull-ups leak even with light wetters. Especially in bed: you might have a bit more success during the day with those things when you're vertical As others suggest as well: I'd try the medical options of course. I realised that don't want to go on chasing a possible cure until the cows come home: you could easy fill your entire life trying to fix it and, at the very end, look back on a life as full-time patient. There are always options that you haven't tried, new treatments, new diagnostic methods etcetera. I think you should make a wise and informed choice what to pursue and what not to pursue. Realise also that being bladder inco isn't the end of the world. It's essentially not much more of a handicap than being nearsighted is. Realise that a large part of the problem is the stigma that surrounds it. Try to grow a defence against that. I manage with a combination of good humour and refusing to feel any less in a diaper and plastic pants than the average Mrs. Dry-knickers. If exploring DL feelings helps in that way, go for it! Try to do something positive with your builtup experience - like helping others with a similar issue. I'm a primary enuretic with no control at all, at least when asleep. On too of that, my body doesn't go into nighttime standby pee production mode, so there's a constant dribble adding up to, well, a lot. The only thing is that there are hardly any sudden floods to deal with. So I mostly need a lot of absorption capacity. Here's what worked for me by way of protection. Disposables at night are always a bit tricky when you sleep on your sides. There's always the chance for leaking, so do use plastic pants with them. If they're plastic-backed, possible leaks won't be re-absorbed into the disposable. You can deal with that by using some additional absorbing something covering the disposable (underneath the plastic pant) - even a regular pair of knickers might work because leaks usually don't contain as much by far as the main amount you lose. It's just to keep the spills under control so they won't eventually find a way out of your plastic pant and into your new $1200 mattress. If she's not such a heavy wetter, she could try reusable / washable incontinence underwear like "underwunder". Some of it is pretty good I've heard, but not suited for heavy wetters. Cloth diapers are the best though: because the liquid immediately disperses through the whole diaper you're much safer from leaks than with disposables. You won't need the backup trick with them. The simplest is the best: diapers that you have to fold yourself and pin on are very easy to clean and cheap, too. The shaped and prefolded and whatnot need more work to properly clean, lest you get buildup of ammonia inside them. I've never had that with regular diapers. My experience with those combined diapers, having waterproof layers on the outside is NOT good. They are expensive, hard to clean and dry. And they leak because they're stiff and less flexible, creating folds when you turn over sleeping, opening up opportunities for eager pee droplets that are dying to visit the Legendary Mattress World outside the diaper. Incidentally, cloth isn't that much more work compared to disposable once you get into the routine. Just drop the whole thing, plastic pants and all, in the shower tub in the morning. While you shower, treading the diaper as in an old-fashioned grape press, the diapers will get an automatic first rinse. Then optionally sprinkle a few drops of vinegar on them (to neutralise possible ammonia and throw them in the washing machine to spin dry while you have breakfast. Usually, the diapers are then already 90% clean and don't smell at all. Keep them in a plastic bucket until it's laundry day (max 3 days or so). You can also rinse out your plastic pants under the shower. I let them drip dry on the shower head. At night they're usually dry enough to put on again or I just move them to a drying rack. And as suggested: protect your mattress. Use a pad and vinyl sheets (under the regular sheets). Some minor tweaks: don't tuck anything under a plastic pant. Especially with cloth diapers. That will very effectively turn your pyjama shirt into a diaper extension I don't want to wear anything over plastic pants, in bed or outside, unless discretion gives me no alternative. I've found to have many more leaks even wearing thin, loose-fitting pyjama pants over them. Or even long shirts. It's also more comfortable to not cover them up, leaving them more airy (if they're not too tight anyhow) It's also essential to find a good plastic pant. Which is hard, or at least I find it hard. It's also a matter of personal preference I suppose. That's a long story for another post Oh yes, re water intake: I've always been warned by parents, friends and every doctor and nurse I met to NEVER even think of cutting back liquid intake. While it might reduce the amount you lose, you'll pay it back in the urine being more concentrated, smelly and rough on your skin and diapers - and in case of leaks, everything else. And I'm not even mentioning the long term damage of kidneys, general health and increased risk for UTI's and other pleasantries. In short: don't. Ever. I always try to drink enough water. Even if I'm not thirsty at all, I'll fill it up to the recommended amount. For me it's even more important because my body produces more pee and dehydrates quicker than the average person. That's why I hardly ever have any skin issues (diaper rash etc) despite being (very) wet every single night, and part of the days as well. Better take a diaper one absorbency level up Hey, something completely different: there was one thing that confused me a lot when reading the topic. It's this: on one hand you tell about your girlfriend having this bedwetting problem and how you want to help her finding the best solution, to support her etcetera. In that light I don't understand what you mean with statements like the ones below. I hope you don't mind me asking ... I don't mean to be judgemental, I merely want to make sense of it. It all sounds as if she has no influence on what happens; as if you decide everything. I mean, if you state "I'm going to keep her in proper diapers" - why research other options if you've already settled on that? It's the contrast between "wanting to help her" at one hand, and "deciding FOR her" on the other hand that I don't get. It makes me wonder what SHE wants? And lastly: Why was she kneeling? Was she praying, or being desperate, or something like that? Sorry of it's a silly question but I couldn't figure it out.

I get lost a bit in the replies, working my way backwards now... Well thanks, I like to write indeed. But I never wrote anything larger than a couple of pages. Maybe I should try that once. Maybe it's more "finding a place where you can talk openly *and where wearing diapers isn't the only thing you share*". That's always hard because people differ in what they want, in the way they accept themselves, their background. Some are friendly, some less. For all sorts of reasons. I never would have guessed that! From everything I've read I thought that my situation was rather unique. Maybe not even so much in the situations and objects but certainly in how I I experience it? There's no problem with the regular, everyday part of dealing with incontinence. But there's two areas that I would love to be able to talk about with others: the (non-sexual) feelings that come with being inco / needing diapers etc; and practical issues with diapers and plastic pants. I'm especially concerned about how incontinence products are marketed. I think that because inco people don't exactly stand up for themselves and tell what they need, that the suppliers can pretty much do as they please to maximise profit. I don't think that that necessarily results in better products. Take for instance the recent change to "cotton feel" disposables: I'll be damned if the idea came from an actual user, or even if any user was consulted in this decision. Call me cynical, but I think the only reason for this switch is that some clever bozo has calculated that they'll sell more diapers that way. Of course it's marketed as having the Great Advantage of being "breathing". But is there anyone who really believes that a diaper can be both breathing and still be waterproof (or worse, stink-proof if you have the misfortune of being bowel inco)? I've got a tiny spark of hope that by at least talking about these things the chance increases that there will be some opposition against developments that threaten to only make it more difficult to find the right products to manage our condition with. My biggest gripe has always been the free fall of the quality of plastic pants. Maybe it's not so obvious to people who haven't continuously been using them for more than 30 years, but it is beyond me how a highly technologically advanced civilisation manages to forget how to make a good, comfortable plastic diaper pant. I seriously don't know if I should laugh, cry or become angry when I think of how those horrid PEVA garbage bags or ridiculously overpriced red glossy see-through pvc clown pants from the online fetish store compare with what you could pick up in any department store for five bucks - up to about 1990. But it's too sad for words really. So yeah, I try not to dwell on that too much. But I wish I could do something about it.

I still don't understand that bit, though? That depends on what you mean by 'normal' of course. If it means 'what's most common' it's definitely not normal - although it might be very healthy. Yes, I'm also completely crazy about softnrdd's! Especially the green ones with those adjustable plugin knurdings that go "Nrfdd! Nrfdd!" unexpectedly on awkward and embarrassing moments (Just goofing around )

It's just me being a bit uncertain because of the unfamiliar territory I suppose And thanks for the compliment, but I'm not great - just regular, maybe a bit weird. A bit like a female version of Moss of the IT Crowd (that UK TV show). Except that I hate milk.

It is probably very different when it's a fetish. There's apparently lots of people who hugely enjoy it that way. For me it's nothing like that. I can't imagine what that would be like: from what I've read the feelings are much more intense and "inevitable" than whatever I experience. Maybe I should envy you, but it doesn't feel like that because I don't know what I'm missing. My feelings seem to be homely and uncomplicated, a bit naive maybe, compared to what I know about fetishes. As if you would compare "Green Eggs and Ham" to, say, Star Wars. So please don't feel offended when I say silly things about rubber! To me it's just material.

I'm not sure I understand this. Or actually, I *am* sure I don't. Just to make sure: I didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings with what I said about me not liking the idea of rubber pants. That's just how I feel about it. That doesn't mean that I think or feel anything in particular a about people who do like it or that I would put them down as a nobody ... though I don't know what that means. Did I really say something like that??It gets even more complex because - well, you say it's about sexuality. But for me it isn't; so anything that I say about it does not relate to sexuality but to other things such as comfort or just "does it work well?" I think most people do

Thank you! Actually, I've never heard of Fetlife! Oh, it's not that I would want to make as much noise as possible! I merely like this very particular sound made by embossed vinyl. I'm very queasy about plastic types ... I find PEVA horrid. Indeed, like a garbage bag: extremely unpleasant to touch. Rubber was also mentioned here: it sure is waterproof, but isn't that very rough and chafing on your skin? Rubber is a friction material; that's what it is often used for. My mother has a small rubber square thingy to open jar lids with. I'm trying to imagine wearing a pant made from that stuff: even when using full cloth diapers it would still squeak and stretch awkwardly when turning over in bed :(At least, that's how I imagine it, with the enamel-shattering sound of balloons being twisted and knotted forcibly into cartoon figurines (imagine having that as a job!) I've had those but don't like it either, because it's not really waterproof. At least that PUL stuff isn't. I found it leaks where it folds, and it is much harder to clean as PVC is. Indeed, though the term "vinyl" is never used over here for the sort of pvc used in pants. It is used as a term for a certain type of carpeting also known as "linoleum". I don't know if that is also made from pvc though. "Plastic" itself is a very vague term, indeed. A friend of mine is in the business of injection moulding, creating windmill propellor blades, ship hulls etcetera - he always corrects me for using the word "plastic" carelessly ... he uses the word "polymer" ("kunststof" in Dutch - literally "artificial stuff"). I've never found a good alternative for pvc. And why should I? It's practically ideal for this purpose. And it needn't be an environmental problem if you properly dispose of it or recycle the material (which is done a lot lately). Thanks!

I don't like plastic pants to be tight-fitting .. too hot and stuffy. Of course the ones in which you put a pad and that are worn in daytime shouldn't be tent-like! But even those I don't like too tight, I rather use one of those elastic net pants to keep them in place under the plastic pant. It's not ideal: it'd be best if those snap pants had something to fix the pad with, so that it doesn't sag. But 'not too tight' goes for most other clothes too as far as I'm concerned (apart from stuff like tights or leggings etcetera). Actually, I like that rustling sound a lot; I mean in that particular high-pitched "whee-oo" sound that embossed plastic makes when something slides across it, or when you handle the pant - and especially when a pad is being inserted or the panty's being put on or taken off, punctuated by the sound of the snap buttons. It's very comforting in a way: it must have been imprinted very early on because I can remember from when I was very young. It forms a kind of complete sensory impression together with how the somewhat slippery, cool creases of the plastic feels to the casual touch. I've always had a habit of automatically following one of those creases with my thumb and index finger when being lost in thoughts or watching TV. I still do that, it's like a tic. And of course that particular smell - it's somewhat different from talcum powder but similar. There are actually almost no particular sensory feelings "from the inside". That doesn't really register somehow. I find that also interesting because almost all DL people report that they love the feeling of wearing diapers ... but I don't know what they're talking about! It just feels normal or common What I find attractive or nice or sweet about it are all sensations from the outside. Maybe that's why it's not sexual to me? (Will finish later)

Thanks both for the very kind replies! Re. my username: it's an old nickname one of my aunts gave me. It's a kind of mock-old fashioned Dutch constructed word translating to something like "girl-child". Or maybe it was a real word once, I never looked it up yet.

Hi,