ReallyLargePenguin

Hey there. Well I can't say that I really enjoy anime, cartoons or comic books but computers are, from my persective, where its at ...not that anime, cartoons or comic books are bad, there just not what I was raised with. Anyways, welcome to DD and I hope you find it as helpful as I have.

@Dill_Pickle Oh I know about depression and its dangers. Having 'experienced' it before, studied it in education and an old friend lost his father to it, I know how destructive it can be. I'm no where near that place yet but left alone to my thoughts I nearly always find myself thinking about stuff and try as I might I can't seem to shake it off. So I've talked it though with a couple of people which is hard since I'm really not the 'heart on my sleeve' kinda guy. Every time I really get into it I start wishing for a glass that isn't there. It makes no sense but hey, I didn't think it would. Not anymore. Religion saved me last time so I'm putting my faith in god once again to bring me out of this hole I seem to have dug myself. And it's worked for the most part, I realised that I hadn't just stopped for a long time now and something about singing hymns relinquished a sort of peace. Say what you want about religion but never question its ability for healing, I can personally vouch for it.

This is a little late since I've post on few threads already but here I am now aways so... I'm living in the UK with my mum, dad, brother, dog and cat although I was born in Bloomington, Indiana (Shout out for Indiana). I'm currently studying a dedicated ICT course with applications to universities for electronic engineering and computer science courses or courses to a similar effect. I like skating (the board kind), heavier types of rock but not metal (screaming makes me not like) and alternate rock. What kinds of music do you like and listen to, if at all? I'm very much a DL with AB invoking very little intreast for me. I'm a pretty normal guy if a bit excitable and just the tiniest bit nerdy (hey what can I say, I'm a tech guy). I'm also not obese in anyway just in case you were mislead by my account 'persona'. So anyways HELLO

I'm using the iPhone 4 with no problems... Well sometimes when looking at threads it'll say its loading over the top of them and not go away. I can still tap on stuff though so its not a problem. @http://www.dailydiapers.com/board/index.php?showuser=21098 Really not the time or place to have a fanboy rant. And anyway light leakage affects the camera not the normal operations.

I'd say its part of who I am for sure, of course it is. But I wouldn't say it is really part of my everyday me, the part people actual see. It's seperate from them and I very much intend to keep it that way. And of course I'd be offended if someone insulted ABDL not knowing its significance to me. Hell if someone judged everyone whose a pedophile I'd be offended. I'd probably qoute "We're quick to judge but slow to understand" at them. Cos it's true.

I REALLY need to find someone to love. I crave it. But I just don't know what conditions need to be met to enable that to happen. I'm scared that I'm going to places like drepression and alcoholism and can't see an escape route. I'm trying to make changes and I've been thinking about talking to some friends about it but I just can't muster the strength. Something needs to change cos otherwise something in me gonna break, I can feel the slow inevitability.

My mum approached me about around about six months ago after noticing me wearing .I always suspected they were a little suspicious since they found little bits of evidence here and there, nothing like an actual diaper though. Turns out she had basically no idea, thinking it was some kind medical problem. I explained, she was excepting (as I always knew she would be) although I really don't think she understood very well but eh, she dosn't need to understand exactly. She then told my dad and I've heard nothing more about it... Apart from once when I forgot to throw away a used diaper and my mum found it. She just mentioned that I'd "Left something in the bathroom which I think belongs to you". It probably helps that she took psychology as a major. So she knows how weird but actually normal people can be

Well that's the problem. I don't really understand who I am. I seem to randomly develop interest in people and then that intreast seems to fade away. I've tried developing a relasionship myself but nothing came of it. I liked her as a friend but as much as I tried I couldn't get her to be anymore than that. I'll meet a person, have no interest in them at first, then slowly become interested just to get cold feet and the feeling goes away. I can't get to feel natural with a person if its anything more than a friendship and pressuring it seems to have very much the negative effect. I'm tried of running around in circles and what I really need something to work out but I can't see anything in sight. And It's really REALLY starting to bother me...

Thanks for the replies. Ive had alot of trouble with this and any support is appreciated. Everything's a bit mested up and I find myself drinking more and more to deal with it. I haven't found did definitive answers yet but working on it

Now I short time ago I finally came to the conclusion, after years of struggling with my sexuality, that I'm a-sexual. If you don't know that simply means that I lack sexual interest in either sex. I'm not really sure what took me so long to figure it out but it took me the best of four years to do so. Sexuality has not been a particularly fun ride for me, not only being a strong DL but self-perceived homosexuality which caused depression and a subsequent keeping of a tight lip and only recently actually taking to anyone about anything ever, about just under a year ago. I believe I'm a-sexual for multiple reasons, I've spent what must be hundreds of hours, many of which is lost sleep, thinking about it and here’s an overview: From a very young age, like single digits, I've been 'interested' in DL. Its been a strong, potent, omnipresent attraction which I'm content with and understand, I've never had even a shadow of the same attraction to another person, object or act in my living memory. Many times I've been asked questions like "What’s your top three hottest people on the planet" and I really don't have a top three ten or one. Its just not something I've ever really thought about. In response I normally just rattle out a couple of the common ones like rihanna blah blah blah.