It's not nosey.
My band doesn't know about my ab side, but they do know I'm trans* and are fully supportive of my transition, in fact encouraging me to play shows in clothes I'm more comfortable in rather than trying to be this hardcore rocker dude which is really awesome of them.
My bass is an Epiphone Goth Thunderbird, solid mahogany. It's very heavy sadly, but it has a deep, rich tone. My band plays in drop C, so the extra richness is actually a slight downside, because my low-end gets muddy unless I'm playing through a really good amp.