It may not be as bad as you think. I had never told a soul about my desires including my wife of ten years. Like you, I dropped subtle hints on occasion that resulted in responses that made me feel I could never come out with the truth.
A couple of months ago on our tenth anniversary, I decided to tell her and stop living a lie with the person I love most in this world. When I did finally get the nerve to tell her, I made it sound like what I had to tell her was something so horrible (not intentional, but I was frightened) that when I said I like to wear diapers, she replied "is that all, you had me worried it was going to be something bad". She had questions about my desires that I really was not able to answer as I have never put any real thought into why I like what I do. So we will work on answering her questions together.
Remember that even if she is accepting, she may not want to participate. That is fine. While my wife shows no interest in parricipating, she has no problem with me wearing. She does at times like to playfully tease and sometimes if I am in a mood she will tell me to go put a diaper on.
I love my wife!!!
BC