Snugglebear

I for one would never cheat on my wife with someone else no. I'm sure there are those who wouldn't consider hiring a "mommy" for ABDL play and breastfeeding cheating; personally once you start going to someone else besides your spouse for intimacy that's cheating in my books. As for your statement "I think she should put out . . . . ", leaving aside that ultimatums rarely turn out well couldn't she just turn around to you and say, " I think you should grow up or well I don't know". If you start down that road it's a dangerous one. I just wonder, when did you tell your wife about your ABDL interests, before or after you got married? Snugglebear

It's a lot easier when you take some time to meet people on an adult level first. It gets even easier when you take some time to present your likes and dislikes and invest some time rather than throwing out a short 3 line "I want" post. Let's be objective, what incentive did you provide for anyone to contact you? You're looking for someone to be involved in a very intimate activity and immediately jump from "I want" to "I'll pay for". I just can't see a woman jumping to respond to that. Just one person's opinion. Snugglebear

To the OP, the sad reality is the people who will read your post to the end are those that understand your point already. Those who really should read your post will probably ignore it. That being said my wife and I both agree with what you posted. It's exactly what we did when we got together and we've now been together for 10 years, married for 8 and love each other both in and out of the bedroom. Snugglebear Snugglebear

Just some food for thought, "mommies" aren't a commodity you purchase off the shelf. They are people with personalities, their own life goals and attractions. Putting out an "I want a mommy post" the way that you might say "I want a new pair of shoes" or "I want a coke for lunch"may not get you a whole lot of responses. You are looking for a partner for an intimate relationship, not some random inanimate object. Try treating them as the people they are. Trying telling them something about yourself. Consider being multidimensional because there are a lot of people who want the same thing you do. Personally I found it far easier to find the love of my life (married 8 years and she's very much involved) and then introducing diapers to her once we had a relationship (but well before marriage). That being said the route you take is up to you but remember, "I want" posts seem to have a very low historic success rate, not sure yours will buck the trend. Snugglebear

I think the point they are trying to make is that they believe people are forgetting they are adults first and instead of behaving as such are behaving in an immature fashion. AB's are still adults whether they like it or not. This is an interpretation and is neither an endorsement nor criticism of the interpreted point of view.

Not to be pessimistic but it really sounds like you have a "catfish". Based on your early emails everything just sounds so perfect, I.e. she didn't want any payment, she's good looking, she wanted to take you to your favourite place, she was understanding of ABs and not just understanding but also wanted to actively participate. Then you add in the reasons not to meet and add the lack of common social media. It just really feels like someone playing games. Hopefully for your sake that's not the case but it just feels " off". Snugglebear

Being more comfortable with one gender over another doesn't automatically make something sexual in nature. A lot of people feel more comfortable getting a massage from one gender or the other and that isn't sexual. If clients can feel more comfortable with a specific gender service provider why can't a service provider have the same preference? Just a thought.

Lol, I'm not angry, just trying to give some constructive advice. After you've sent 1 "I want ad" you've seen them all. You can do whatever you like with advice, ignore it, use it or anything in between

Just a thought but what incentive have you given any woman to message you? You say absolutely nothing about yourself. You don't give any idea about your likes, interests or anything else AND you want women in a limited age range to message you to meet. Do you honestly think this is going to work? Maybe if you want to meet people try putting in some effort. Just a thought. Snugglebear

There are quite literally hundreds of posts from people asking for a mommy or daddy. The vast majority of those posts have not resulted in a positive outcome for the posters because they don't take any time to showcase what the poster has to offer. Let's take your post and look at it from a constructive perspective. You barely describe yourself at all, you say nothing about your interests, you don't describe what you can offer to another person, you don't describe what traits you are attracted to in another person and then you state you're on disability and want someone to take care of you 24/7. Your post makes a daddy look like a commodity you are shopping for rather than another person you are looking to have an intimate connection with. Ask yourself, based on your post why would someone pick you to get to know over any of the hundred of other posters? Try connecting with others as human being first, develop a relationship and then see where it goes. There's nothing wrong with stating what you want up front but if it's not very descriptive or is just about you don't be surprised if the result isn't great. Best of luck to you, Snugglebear

Well, considering my wife and I don't define ourselves by one part of who we are, add the fact that we aren't 24/7 nor do we want to be, plus we dont feel any urge or compulsion to engage in public displays, mix in that we aren't looking for play partners and don't have any desire to see others in diapers, add the fact that we can buy pretty much any product or accessory we want online and the result is that for us an "ABDL" city doesn't really appeal. That being said I couldn't see us moving to any kind of "specific group community". It just feels too limiting in terms of getting the chance to live a life with a broad variety of life experiences which is what we want. Each to their own though, I'm sure it would feel like a paradise to some Snugglebear

Personally I would never ever cross a hard limit with someone after they've been drinking, it just violates my concept of informed adult consent. It's one thing to indulge in kinks that have been discussed but it's entirely another to cross a hard limit when the person has been drinking our using any kind of recreational drug. My wife and I follow a simple rule, "if either of us wouldn't do it sober we sure as hell aren't doing it while intoxicated". By following that rule we've never had next day regrets of a sexual nature. Snugglebear

That decision is up to you, part of the ADULT part of being an AB. Once you know what YOU want to do then others may have suggestions on the how.

I wouldn't say I'm lucky, rather I have a wonderful wife and we have a great marriage with strong communication, great mutual support and we've put a lot of time and effort into getting where we're at

There really is nothing like getting an out of the blue surprise from your spouse. I woke up this morning to my wife checking my diaper and then changing me. She told me that she knew all the travel for work has been stressing me out so she took me shopping for a new stuffy (a pink horse with purple hooves), two new hello kitty sippy cups and a cute pink fuzzy blanket with bows, hearts and castles on it. She then took me home for another diaper change before taking me to go see Divergent. After the movie we came home for another diaper change and story time. During the story she surprised me again by opening her blouse, showing off a new nursing bra and having me suckle while she finished reading the story. After we cuddled and she told me she really hoped I enjoyed the day and that she hoped I was less stressed before leaving next week for another 2 weeks. Honestly I love my wife more and more every day. All in all a great surprise and confirmation to me why it is so important to trust and be honest with your spouse. Well, I have to go and think of a name for my new pony and give my wife a thank you massage, a treat for both her and me Snugglebear

There are quite a few of us from Ottawa actually. There is a group over on Fetlife specifically for Ottawa too. You can drop my wife and I a line if you want. We're a bit older, being mid thirties, but still young at heart.

One big bit of advice if you decide to have an honest conversation with your wife is not to treat it as something shameful or embarrassing. Be confident when having the conversation. Too many people do themselves a disservice when talking with a loved one because they present it either as negative or shameful when it really isn't. I told my wife 9 years ago and since that time we've had diaper sex many many times, she's worn diapers as part of foreplay, she's changed me multiple times and we generally go diaper shopping together (currently 8 or 9 different brands in our bedroom closet). That isn't even the biggest benefit which is I'm not lying to my wife, we have strong and honest communication and I don't have to sneak around behind her back. Pros of being honest - too many to name. Pros of lying - none Just a thought.

You may have better results if you actually share something about yourself. Another "I want a mommy" post really doesn't self yourself and with 100's of others posting the same messages you may want to put in a bit more effort. Describe yourself, your likes, your interests AND what you have to offer as well. Just a friendly suggestion.

There's a few of us around and more over on Fetlife as well.

Well, hiding it from your wife always makes it much more complicated especially considering most of the higher end diapers can only be ordered online. You will have much more flexibility and options to buy the diapers you want if you tell your wife but that's your choice. Being that my wife knows, is accepting and participates, all the options I could offer won't work for you based on your current situation of hiding things from your wife. I really recommend not lying to your wife about a harmless desire but each to their own. You do need to realize though that taking out online purchasing is REALLY limiting. I wish you the best of luck.

It's really all about personal choice about what feels best. Once you decide on disposable or cloth people can give suggestions about where to buy.

Step 1: Find someone with whom you share similar interests, life goals and who you find attractive. Step 2: Spend time together really getting to know one another. Step 3: Make sure you know whether you want a partner who accepts your interests or participates. These concepts are VERY different so be sure you aren't confusing the two. Step 4: Have an open, honest, two way conversation where you demonstrate confidence. If this doesn't work return to step 1. Critically important is not lying to them or yourself at any point. Is it easier said than done . . . . . depends on the person I guess but considering pros versus con's why wouldn't you do it? Snugglebear

Seeing as it's almost s certainty my wife will outlive me I'm not concerned at all.

Absolutely, 100% what Willow wrote.

I have a small brown bear named Baxter who goes with me when I travel. He goes on vacations and work trips alike and stays on the bed in my hotel room. On one of my work trips in the Fall my coworkers came back to my room and saw him. Were there jokes, yep, was there laughter, sure. Was it a big deal in the end, nope. Heck the hotel staff even tucked him into his own little sleeping bag when they made up the room. Made for such a cute picture. I just explained the truth which is my wife bought him for me and sends him with me as a memory of home. When you're on the road for consecutive weeks it's nice to have a reminder.