Emp

I enjoy the animalistic feeling of having to force out a log of shit into something (diaper) that is meant to be used as a portable bathroom. I love the idea that I have a log in my colon ready to be relaxed out in between my buttcheeks for me to either walk around with enjoyfully or sit in. Plus the thrill of wearing a diaper for that intended purpose adds to the idea that I could be forced to wear diapers just for the feeling that I was meant poop because I was diapered. I like teasing myself with a full log... Imagining I'm in a dungeon like bondage sitaution and am at the point of thinking of soiling myself because I can't hold it in anymore. When I get my own house, I'm going to diaper up either 24/7 so I can poop as feely and often as possible, and walk and sit around my house as messy as I want. I also like dropping a moderatly small log, just so much that it just becomes a ball of feeling betweenmy buttcheeks, not so much poop to leak out the sides of the thigh bands and not too much to have a really disgusting cleanup to make. It's more like, you drop the perfect poop to know you dropped enough poop to sit in your own mess for hours, enough to still get the stimulating feeling of having soiled oneself pridefully, and it's just comfotable, all ith the feeling of knowing you pooped yourself. Those are kinda rare though because as much as I would like to do that all the time I get too greedy and end up emptying most of my poop in a diaper anyway, for the feeling that I just had to go like being bondaged.

I've always had a thing for messing when I was a toddler, right fter I was potty trained I still enjoyed diapers. I'd poop in my mother's Maxi pads and hide them, not knowing what to do with them. Later on when I reached pre-teen hood, I got the drive to start enjoying the soil in between my butt cheeks, because I'd feel the animalistic drive to enjoy soiling myself. So I would wrap up toilet paper and poop while squeezing it between my butt cheeks. This is what really began to give me the idea that it was a secure thing to soil myself and enjoy it. Coincidentally it was around the same time I began experimenting with masturbation, but the connection to masturbate after soiling did not connect yet, it just felt good, I didn't know where to go with it. Around the same time, I was too afraid to buy adult diapers, so I began to create makeshift diapers. The first time I really did it was when I folded a lot of paper towels together and put them in my underpants, then let it go. It was an okay experience, I just felt embarrassed and insufficient being in a paper towel makeshift diaper. I later ended up looking around my house for things that were more comfortable to wrap around my waist, like old towels and old shirts. I'd pin old shirts up like a cloth diaper.

I enjoy sitting in it for long periods of time, as if I were nonchalantly watching television, playing a video game, etc. I like to imagine myself as having been kidnapped and forced into a diaper, forced to soil myself and revel in it. I like to take hallucinogenic drugs, and act like I couldn't control myself any longer, or however it goes. Just poop once the fun stuff starts, and stay in it the rest of the trip, especially with a friend. I love to sleep in it too, that also adds to the idea that I've been kidnapped and forced to sleep overnight in my own poop. Or sleep in it after a night of good drugs, very comforting. I'd do it in public if I were 24/7 and taking chlorophyll.