WriteAndLeft

Also, try to show more instead of tell. I rewrote your story and will send what I wrote to you in a private message to illustrate how it is done. I am sending it to you privately. Expand on it and have fun.

You got to pick a point of view. First or Third. Pick one and only one. Don't do third person omniscient on your first story. It is extremely hard to do omniscient well. Do first person or third person selective. You switched from third person to first person. Please don't do that. You also changed tense. You started in present tense, a tense I hate. Most stories are written in past tense. Verbs use the -ed ending in past tense. You also switched to past tense when you switched to first person. I also like quotation marks and capitalization. It makes it easier to read. I am not trying to be mean, I am trying to help. I've written hundreds of thousands of words of fiction and I am not yet a very good writer. However a story chapter should contain at least one thousand words. Two thousand would be better. Keep practicing though. The only way you can become a better writer is to write.

So does this beverage have a diuretic effect?

I like the story, but it is a bit disjointed and hard to read. I wold like a bit more detail though. I will keep reading.

You know, I am picturing a bear at the post office wrapping her in brown paper and sending her flat rate.

I am still having trouble reading this. It looks like you used voice recognition software to write this story. Nothing wrong with that, but you do have to edit and put in proper punctuation.

Because, what she is doing is wrong. She needs to get in trouble for violating her position as a teacher. Anyway, we need you next chapter please, Sophie and soon. I know you start class Tuesday, so please hurry with the final chapter.

Oh cool. Another chapter. Maybe Miss Ellis will get in trouble then.

Nice ending. I just wish Miss Ellis got her comeuppance.

We waited over a week for the last chapter. We can wait an extra day for the next bit. I think this is about novelette length and that is fine. Keep writing. Although disappointed not to see your chapter tonight, I will look forward to it more tomorrow.

I am certainly not bored with the story. Short story length is based on word count, not number of MS Word pages. Word pages is not a good measurement unless you do special formatting. I have mine set up to double space and give me 25 lines per page with once inch margins and use Courier as a font(any fixed length font will do.) I estimate that I get 250 words per page, so the last long story I wrote was 282 word pages which would give me 70K words. I was counting white space though, so Word only counted 66k words. The difference is due to the nature of dialogue. If a character says, "No." by itself on one line, then word counts it as one word, but I count it as ten words. I digress. It is still a short story until you pass 7500 words I am starting to feel sorry for poor Brooke and I want it to end so she can get on with her life. I also want teacher to get her comeuppance. However, write at the pace you think the story should go. Don't rush because we want you to end it at the right pace. I look forward to more.

Yay. One more day I guess. Can't wait until the next section.

Please continue this story. It has been almost two weeks since your last installment.

I have an idea. How about you make her sit down and write another installment of A Week Less Ordinary. I've been waiting for a new chapter. I'd even be happy to chip in on the diapers if there were an anonymous way to get the money to her.

[motivate]Ass in chair; ass in chair. You can do it. You can write the next chapter.[/motivate] I like this story so far. Keep up the good work. Still what Miss Ellis is doing to Brooke is so wrong on so many levels. I hope Miss Ellis gets in trouble. I bet Brooke did perfectly fine on her exam and Miss Ellis is just taking advantage of her position of authority.