palmd84

I've met goths from Malaysia of all places. Over there they don't go all out though, usually just paint their nails black, dye their hair deep black, wear black t-shirts/skirts/shorts, and put white power over their skin. Also it's not as socially accepted around there so they change in and out of it for serious occasions. But you'd be surprised by the climates you can find goths living in. Also I bet it would be just as uncomfortable wearing a bulky diaper in those climates (you'd sweat like mad). I don't dress up like a goth but I have gothic leanings. Some people have natural leanings for darkness or perhaps even genetic conditions that lead to the lifestyle. For example my eyes are quite sensitive to bright light, I long for cloudy days and prefer to go out at night and tend to prefer dark artwork. I've had many instances of depression for most of my life so tend to relate to most of my gothic friends. The individual stuff is BS though I believe most goths start living the lifestyle for community acceptance not individuality. Then you have the happy-go-lucky people who dress up like goths just for the fun of it but dance around to britney spears and love disney movies but I wouldn't really consider them gothic.

I've always wondered what the findings would be if a world-wide study was done of ABDLs. It seems like more ABDLs are men than woman by a large margin but it's hard to tell where the largest proportion of ABDLs could be found. I'd imagine ABDLs are largely a developed world phenomena for practical reasons so I wouldn't expect to find many in Africa, South America, or undeveloped parts of Asia. I wouldn't be surprised to find a large number of ABDLs in eastern Asia though (specifically Japan/China); there seems to be much less culture stigmatism to diapers over there. From what I've seen people around there are more than ready to throw on a diaper for convenience and most asians I've talked to have talked about diapers in a fun or cute way at one time or another and never explicitely negatively. There's obviously a large number of us in Canada/US but it is so stigmatized here that I wouldn't be surprised to find a much larger number throughout Western Europe. I wouldn't expect to find many in Eastern Europe/Russia given the region's recent history and any in the Middle East are few and far between and probably feel intense pressure over it. I wouldn't be surprised if the proportions are not to different from proportions of other more visual dress-up activities like the gothic trend throughout the world. What does everyone else thing? I just took a guess so prove me wrong.

Yeah, I suspect regardless of how serious I try to be with her when I finally tell her the truth the situation will evolve into silliness. Also she doesn't speak English as a first language which will make explaining to her all the more complicated. She speaks English well but since she's only had limited exposure to fetishes no matter what I do and regardless of how it sounds to me it would probably sound hilarious to her. Good idea about taking the angle that she is very special to me to know this (she'd be the only person that personally knows I'm a DL); I guess in a way it could kind of give her power over me but I don't really care because our relationship is built on a solid committment. We've had to endure many months apart from each other which has just been painful but it has strenthened our relationship in many ways. I mean she always says to me she loves me for all my imperfections and "will fight to make sure nothing drives us apart when we stay together". I've thought about writing a letter or telling her over the web cam but it just feels like something that has to be done in person. It is the type of thing that prevokes follow-up questions, examples, etc. Plus she still lives with her parents and I wouldn't want to put her in the awkward position of having to keep such an unusual secret as soon as she walks out of her bedroom door and spending most of her time around people who definitely should NOT know. Although I sometimes do wish I had told her on one of our previous summers before we got married but we can't change the past.

Nice to hear from another in my situation. The food thing was really just to say when all else fails we have been able to make compromises (food is very important to her); just a part of marriage. But yeah, growing up as a DL is a hard fought journey. It can be hard enough to accept it on yourself let alone expect another to accept this side of you. I've been conflicted with it for years now. Good to hear you've decided to tell your wife. I do believe if a relationship is strong enough to enter marriage something like this really shouldn't make a difference. Best of luck to you. It'd be nice to hear how things go with it; I'm still 3-4 months away (this is the sort of thing that must be said in person not phone or webcam) but seeing how well its worked out for others definitely instills a little more confidence in me.

Thanks for all the advice everyone. It seems the consensus (100% of you) believe the best thing for me to do is tell her and sooner rather than later. Because of the type of relationship we have and our living arrangement when we live together there's absolutely no way I could hide this from her; I'd basically have to come clean to her about it or never wear a diaper again. It would be impossible to sneak anything as she is very involved in my life and doesn't have friends or family around here or any intention of going out (plus we live in a pretty small apartment). So we share basically everything, the DL thing is my last hold out because until now it wasn't difficult to hide (I just turned it off while she lived with me) and I've been too embarrassed to tell her. The hardest part is figuring out how to bring it up in the first place at the appropriate time and in the appropriate way. I do feel a deep shame for being a DL and this makes it even harder. It feels like a huge contradiction with who I am as opposed to a part of who I am. Outside of this world I'm a very hard working motivated individual; I tend to feel much of society is too materialist these days and there is far too much focus on sex, sports, and celebrity which will some day lead to our demise as opposed to working for a greater good. I'm also often quite serious or ideological and tend the prefer darkness over light maybe even with something of a gothic leaning (but my ex was a goth so that's a big no-no). But in this DL world I suddenly feel weak and immature; it's hard to believe I have this side that contradicts so much with who I usually am and who I truly long to be. My wife definitely introduced some sillyness into my life so I've adapted but the DL thing still feels like too much to swallow. I'm pretty selfless in this relationship so I tend to sacrifice my interests at the expense of hers in many things. So I'm not too interested in her wearing a diaper herself or putting one on me unless she wanted to of her own initiative (I only get turned on by her getting turned on by stuff) but if I did keep this lifestyle it'd be hard to avoid her seeing me in a diaper regardless of her feeling about it; but we have made concessions in the past, particularly about food (we get urges for very different delicacies - I'm disgusted by hers and she is by mine).

Thanks guys, yeah I've become more aware that the DL side of me is most likely never going to leave. But like Radioman said it may take a back burner for awhile after my wife moves in. This might make it hard to explain it to her initially since it's hard to explain your interested in something that you're not interested in at the moment and don't want to be interested in for the future. It's going to be difficult to find the right time/way to tell her too. I've been going through scenarios in my head. She is the type of girl that gets extremely jealous. I kind of regret telling her about a short-lived past relationship (the only relationship I ever had before her). She saw a photo of me and that girl hugging at the start of our relationship and still brings it every now and then to test that I don't have any feelings towards that girl. So my idea was I'd tell her I've been keeping a big secret from her then let her dig it out of me. She will automatically assume it has to do with another girl and turn serious and suspicious. After letting her know how ashamed I feel of myself and how hard it is to tell her; I will reveal that I'm a DL. This would certainly come as a huge relief to her compared to what she was preparing to hear and she'd be in a serious enough mood to take it in an understanding relaxed manner. I mean alternatively I could explain it as a fetish thing during foreplay but like I said before she's the type of girl who would joking tease the heck out of me over it and it wouldn't be a serious enough time to explain myself clearly. Also it wouldn't explain the fact I like to wear for comfort/stress relief and make it seem like an explicitly sexual fetish.

Wish I had the power to get over this whole thing too. But I've come to the realization that the process many of us go through is not unlike the 5 stages of grief that usually occur in people who lose relatives or the terminally ill. For those of you unfamiliar here they are: (but instead of lose think of this as a conflict within) Denial and Isolation. At first, we tend to deny the loss has taken place, and may withdraw from our usual social contacts. This stage may last a few moments, or longer. Anger. The grieving person may then be furious at the person who inflicted the hurt (even if she's dead), or at the world, for letting it happen. He may be angry with himself for letting the event take place, even if, realistically, nothing could have stopped it. Bargaining. Now the grieving person may make bargains with God, asking, "If I do this, will you take away the loss?" Depression. The person feels numb, although anger and sadness may remain underneath. Acceptance. This is when the anger, sadness and mourning have tapered off. The person simply accepts the reality of the loss.

Hi All, it's been awhile since I've posted on here. Admittedly I never posted much in the past and of those times I posted I believe most were related to my attempts at quiting the DL lifestyle. Of course if I was really successful I never would have come back to post on here. Instead I've learned to control the DL side and shut it off immediately when I've had more serious issues to deal with or was faced with possiblity of another discovering this side of me. Up to now I've spent most of my adult life alone in an apartment and rarely see my friends outside of class. Faced with loneliness and the stress of an intense engineering program, I guess a situation a lot of others on here face, I often find myself in diapers (I suppose as an escape from reality). So now things are about to change big time. I met my wife about 4 years ago but since we go to different universities far from each other I've only actually lived with her for 3 month periods during the summer during which it's been easy for me to put away my DL side and enjoy the time with her. There were a few stressful moments I had the urge to be diapered as I otherwise would have, but I managed to surpress that urge so she still has no idea about it. This fall we finally decided to get married and after we both graduate this April we are going to permanently live together. So now I find myself facing a bit of an awkward moment wondering whether I should tell her about this side of me (and if so when and how?) or hope that over time my DL side will disappear. My loneliness will be gone but I still will face stressful situations and I've almost trained myself to feel that urge to wear when faced with stressful or uncomfortable situations. I've opened up completely to my wife about everything but the DL stuff and we are very silly and playful when alone together. I know my wife won't be disgusted or upset about it instead she's the type of person who would more likely get a kick out of it and try to play me or tease me with it to the point of embarrassing me. I guess I could say I'm more worried about her getting carried away and leading us into awkward situations around other people more than anything; this would probably be ok for many ABs but for me I prefer to stay about 90% professional 10% silly. Alternatively if I don't tell her and my DL urges come back I may feel overwhelming guilt or be extremely uncomfortable in a situation I would otherwise have no problem with; worse I'd be keeping a secret from my wife and secrets destroy relationships. On the other hand were I to tell her now she may wonder why I waited so long and whether I'm keeping other secrets from her (which I'm not); I need her trust to make this marriage work. For every reason I can think of to tell her I can find an equally convincing reason not to tell. Has anyone else had this experience? If so how did it work out for you and your marriage? Did the urge to wear go away after marriage? I'd really appreciate some advice here as I figure I'd be best off either telling her early on in our marriage or putting it away forever.

Thanks for the suggestions. So here's my situation, my girlfriend doesn't know that I wear diapers and I'm not too keen on telling her. I'm 100% sure she won't leave me if I told her because she is very committed and very open about everything. However, if I told her this secret I would never hear the end of it she'd tease me about it all the time and it would be pretty embarrassing, she loves teasing me about stuff so this would be a gold mine. I have lived with her before but only for months at a time and not long term yet. I figured I could substitute my desire to wear diapers with something kinky in bed if I ever got the urge. I'm probably not being practical here though, it does sound pretty convincing that I'll get the urge time and time again. I guess we'll see what happens, I still haven't thrown anything out yet.

Thanks to everyone for the support and advice. I've decided to keep my diapers for a few more months now then get rid of them before I'm married. Not too sure of the exact reason I've hit a low right now, I guess it could be because I'm facing some more serious issues in my life. I'm fortunate to live alone and also have a good lock safe to keep them in for which only I have the key, so I have little to worry about in terms of getting caught. Not to mention I don't get many visitors. Before this I was living with my girlfriend for 5 months and hadn't worn any the whole time, then I got the urge to wear again a few weeks after she left. But I suddenly found wearing this time just wasn't the same as it had been in the past, it felt very inconvenient and uncomfortable compared to what I remember. Heck maybe they changed the diapers or who knows, but anyway from what everyone's said it does seem likely I'll get the urge again. If I do I wonder if I'll get this same feeling again after a night or two of wearing. If this is because of the uncomfortable diapers I wonder if finding and wearing the most uncomfortable diapers available could turn me off them altogether?

For quite awhile now I've really enjoyed wearing diapers, and always felt excited to see or buy them. So now I have some and I enjoyed them for a little but suddenly I've grown very bored of them. Heck I'm even using the toilet now instead of grabbing a diaper. I haven't worn for over a week and still feel no desire to wear. I'm not sure what's up, is it possible to grow out of the diaper phase? Maybe it's my hectic schedule of late which has caused it. I've been under a lot of stress with work and I'm taking night courses to desperately finish my computer engineering degree. Normally diapers have been my outlet for stress to help me relax, now they just feel like more work (putting them on, taking them off, washing up...). My new outlet has become depressing music and hacking. I have lost passion in other areas to I suppose but I never thought I'd sick of diapers. Now I'm in a conflicting state of mind wondering whether I should throw them away, it seems so wasteful though. Has anyone else experienced this. Or more importantly has anyone heard of anyone breaking the diaper phase? I have a gf now; I may get married soon so I'm at an inroads, and ideally I don't want her to ever know about the DL thing, on the other hand if it comes back I'd rather she know before we got married than later.

I wonder if McCain wears diapers, he's so old it seems if he did get elected he'd undoublable end up in adult diapers. Obama is young and into the internet, and seems more open new things and change. I'm sure all AB/DL like the feeling of being changed. I'd be interesting to know who has the most friendly AB/DL policies.