Aria Rift

Well, when I was around four or five I used to sit in a hole in our backyard and pretend that it was a mother figure and that it wouldn't let me go. It was more of a nurturing feeling and not at all sexual. Later, when I was around ten or eleven, I let my friends tie me to a chair. One friend's older brother then decided he wanted to burn some of my hair. I remember that experience not really being sexual either. The thought of BDSM sure is now though. I've tried some self bondage, but didn't really have the right equipment to do it properly and I've never had the courage to actually go to a professional. Part of me really gets off on the thought of relinquishing all control, while the other half is repulsed by the idea.

I'm one of those so-called "hard core" type guys. I hated showing emotions because I was always a sensitive kid and was relentlessly teased for it. So I buried my feelings, and they're pretty much still there. I have no doubt that I have mother issues. Both my parents always worked, and then they had their hands full with my delinquent teen-age sister. I was pretty much neglected most of my life except for the occasional beating from my father. I remember recognizing my need for a mother figure as early as age four. I think one reason for the diapers and feminine clothing is that, in place of the healing I needed, I decided to try and become something that was the furthest thing from what I was. I know that deep down I still desperately crave to be mothered, but I've accepted the fact that my healing will probably have to wait until the next life. Still, I'm glad to have a place to try and put my feelings into words. I don't know if that helps

I got a similar response from my significant other when I told her. She said she didn't want to see me like that. So I choose to wear when I know I'll have the house to myself for a few hours. It's definitely better than nothing. The rest of the time may require some self discipline on your part. However, if you get to the point when all you can think about are diapers, then you may be developing an addiction. You may want to think about trying to back off for a bit.

Nothing against therapists in general, but all the ones I ever went to only offered "cures" while helping themselves to my wallet.

I agree with the thoughts that my desires have helped shape who I am. However, I would probably be inclined to choose to still like wearing diapers, but I would remove the sexual aspect of it.

My fetishism does not define who I am, it is merely a part of me. I told my then fiancee about my desires a few months before we were married. She didn't want that in our lives, so I put it away and only engage every now and then when she is not around. I can always hope that someday she'll bring it up and we can explore those elements, but if not, then I haven't lost much. We are very happy together and so the compromise is worth it to me.

Or maybe a Leoplurodon? Hehe. Anyway, welcome to the DD community.

Hello and welcome to the community.

Hey there. I hope you enjoy your stay.

Hello and welcome to the community. Hope you enjoy it here.

Perhaps. However, it's not his fault. It isn't anyone's fault. I can only hope that my experiences will help me better empathize with those also facing similar issues. Compassion is not a curse. It's a quality you could certainly use.

I can only share my own experiences with this situation and tell you that it gets easier as time goes on. My sister was the nosy one in our family. When I was a teenager I had some panties and whatnot. The first time she found me out was pure dumb luck and I was able to downplay it. The second time I went a little crazy and didn't hide the items as well as I should have and she found them easily. This time it involved a dress, a bra, panties, and a maxi pad. Even worse was that she showed all of my friends during a sleepover. Then I had to face my father, not fun. The third time it was actually our dog who found some underwear I'd lazily hidden under my bed. Had to face dad again. It hurts for a few weeks and you get really paranoid, but it goes away. After a few years I wonder if anyone even remembers those episodes. Luckily my dad never found out about my diapers, but I don't know what's worse. Having a son who likes female clothing, or diapers?

The invention of the self checkout stand has made buying a whole lot easier and less nerve wracking (unless you want to feel like you're going to vomit on the clerk). I always used to buy at Rite Aid and Payless. They used to carry the original Attends and Depends. I went into a medical supply store once when I was in college. There were three girls working there at the time. I actually tried to make conversation with them about the diapers (size, tapes, capacity), and made up a story about how I was an RN student at the school and needed them for class. I managed to keep a relatively cool head, bought the diapers, and left. Nowadays it's all online shopping for me.

I've tried many times but I just can't get a good night sleep when I'm diapered or wearing feminine attire.

Welcome to the board. I too suffered abuse growing up. Lots of moving, physical beatings, and neglect. When I was little I was so desperate for nurturing that I would sit in a hole in the backyard and pretend that it was a mother figure who wouldn't let me go no matter what. I feel kind of pathetic when I think about it. Most of us come here not looking for sympathy, but healing. Hopefully you will be able to gain strength in the knowledge that you are not alone. Again, welcome. ~Aria