tk11

Thanks for the response, yea it's interesting how it came about. It started as a huge embarrassment watching pull up commercials as a very young kid. And I did have some bedwetting problems but nothing past 13 or 14 (which I guess might be a little bit old). A lot of it is really just coming to terms and being okay partaking or not partaking but not stressing out about whatever decision you make. Being able to discretely wear or be productive while wearing has actually been a blessing cause I don't feel so isolated at home or feel like I am wasting time just wearing. It has definitely become more attainable and wearing more and more instead of denying has made me feel so much better. I'm not quite at 24/7 but I am feeling like that is in my future because life is too short to deny it. I get less and less of that tired feeling of trying to stop and it just feel better and better and more normal to be in diapers more often. I don't entirely know why. Maybe it is knowing there isn't much time, or I've gotten over some kind of hurdle, or just my attraction and desire to be in diapers has grown and I am tired of ignoring it. I don't think i could tell my parents, but I wonder if me wearing diapers would be a surprise considering I still had a wetting accident at nine and as a teenager and I know I wet the bed a lot when being potty trained. Maybe they even saw something growing up about my tendency to be ABDL, I don't know. But yea if a stranger sees something I could not care less.

I’m in my mid-thirties and the desire to wear and use diapers has only gotten stronger over the years. I still have great life balance and financially more freedom than ever. Dating, friendships, work, and hobbies I enjoy are great and I am able to really pursue what I want, but I have noticed a real increase in almost needing to wear diapers. It’s not a bad thing at all but I find it curious, hot, and interesting that the urge to wear is getting harder to ignore and I’m giving into it more. It isn’t a medical need but an emotional, mental, and sexual need. I think part of it is I do live by myself and a lot of the hang ups I had about it have dissipated. Even wearing a diaper under my clothes and going to the store or out on my own hasn’t gotten less scary. While I wear for pleasure I can also still be productive in my diapers and I’m figuring out ways to enjoy them and still lead a full life. It is starting to feel more right to be in diapers than not. After a stressful trip or experience putting on diapers and baby clothes relax me. They make me feel almost secure. Wetting and even messing feels incredible. Wearing a warm wet diaper comforts and relaxes me but also feels incredibly pleasurable. I like how they look on me and they just feel right for me. It’s not getting more boring, it’s honestly feeling better than ever. I know a lot of this is just becoming more comfortable and embracing diapers and realizing it isn't that big of a deal. It is almost normalizing and conditioning myself after admitting it's okay and I want to wear them. But it does feel like a rolling snowball effect. Over years saying it's okay to not feel guilty, wearing and using more and more often, loving the good feelings I'm getting, then wearing more and more at home and feeling even more comfortable wearing them out of my house, using them outside of my house, to starting to realize I'm wearing them more than not and not resisting it. Like the desire and urge to wear and need to get them on only is getting stronger every year. Is this the natural path for an ABDL or a diaper lover? Like it went from a curiosity in childhood after some bedwetting and embarrassment of diapers, to an intense sexual fantasy in my teen years, to slowly dipping my toes in and buying and wearing diapers, baby clothes and supplies in my twenties, to a gradual increase of wearing more and more in my thirties. I’m starting to think at some point in the next ten or twenty years I’ll want to just be in them all the time. In a sense that is hot, sort of succumbing to my lifelong desires and becoming emotionally and physically dependent on them. Like I’m starting to really feel like a truly full fledged diaper boy (maybe I already am?). So I’m just curious for this group, should I continue to expect my need and feelings for my diapers to grow the older I get?

Just wanted to say how much I loved this story. The perfect blend of submission, helplessness, and affection.

I'll hang in there, again I'm not like depressed or anything, just curious with why I am the way that I am. If the past year was any indication I've become a stronger person and have branched out more in possible romantic relationships. I think their was another post concerned about attention seekers and those asking for advice just to get sympathy and attention, just want to say that this isn't one of those posts and I hope it isn't looked at as that.

I'm not even 21 yet, have honestly not been with a girl or a guy, so I'm still a virgin. At times I think I'm straight, other times gay, and other times bisexual...yet even sometimes asexual. I have two very strong fetishes that I've had for as long as I can remember (and started to develop around 2nd grade or at least that was when I first realized I wanted to be diapered and treated like a baby). I know the exact moment and from what I remember I have no traumatizing experience, wanting to wear diapers at a young age, or any parent issue. I just feel like I've always had this fetish. When I went through puberty I didn't really think of sex but really just thought of wearing diapers (and that still continues today). However it has developed (and I've discovered) that it really is the need to be dominated. I want a man or woman to have control over me and diaper me and be in control. I've been rather frustrated with myself. Lately my fantasies and ideas have developed that sex could be involved but only after I was dominated, but I don't think I would enjoy being abused or handcuffed or more of the normal dominatrix ideas. I guess I'd rather almost be humiliated by my sexual partner, to basically not be treated like a regular adult. However again I can't see to get sexually aroused without my fetishes (which makes me think I'm asexual). Yet I do have fantasies that always involve another person (which makes me think I'm not asexual) and again I can picture myself having sex but only after the initial foreplay. I am only 20 so I'm not to worried at this point about not having sex, but I also think time to time what if nothing happens in the next 20 years and I'm still single and a 40 year old virgin. I have no problem being gay, bisexual, or straight...yet being asexual seems kind of sad. Many people on here seem to enjoy sex with diapers as a second aspect. However mine is the other way around. Or at least it might be. I also wonder if I am just so into diapers and my fetishes that I screwed myself up somehow around 13 and 14 and didn't think about partners until recently and that I somehow stunted my sexual preference to having a partner. I've thought of going to a sex therapist to maybe help myself become more excited with actual intercourse, but I feel like I would be embarassed. Quite frankly I get a tingly feeling when I think about it but cannot get aroused. I'm not one of those people who sign on here trying to get rid of this fetish, because I don't, but I'm just curious as to what makes me tick (which I know is personal for everybody). So my question is am I kidding myself for thinking I could have a partner? Is their anyone who have been in healthy relationships who think of being diapered or treated as a baby first before the sex aspect comes in? And do the asexual people on here think about other people when they get aroused? This was very tough for me to write, I usually just lurk, but hopefully I can get some helpful thoughts or advice.

I'm confused about the bananas do you just really stuff them up your bum or actually try to get them inside of you (which I would think would be slightly dangerous to ones health...)? If it isn't though I might try.