SanguineReader

I agree, i will get a lot of use out of it, thank you. also i think that was a typo. I meant 150k.

writing conventions?.... and this is why i posted on daily for helpful things like that. I am very good with constructive criticism, so no worries and thanks. writing conventions? really don't know what that is. i know how to express my self just find, but grammar, spelling, English, just has never been my thing. i don't know how to structure text to make it easier for reader. im on discords and a few people have been kind enough to help me out here and there. But honestly, i dont know what i am doing, its baffles me that you think that what i shared was good. its a surprised to hear, though i got told that a few times this week on discord. the two scene i shared i probably my best work. as for the technicality of writing goes. i have other scene that i hope invoke the emotion that i am going for, the way i feel when i read them i want others to feel them to. i actually think of them as my best work but i have some editing to do over there. but there close, mostly just the dialogue. My strengths are in math in science, but i have this story i want to tell and i have been writing non stop since i got committed to putting it on paper. any hints would be appricated

spent the last few hours checking it out and other ai tools. I can see why you like it, should save me quite some time seeing how grammar is the bane of my existence, lol. Sounds like an intresting story. what i am writing, so hard to explain. but its my answear to the Diaper dimension, which i found to be to cruel for comfort. My story takes place here in this world, there is a gentic componet to this but essentially everyone in the world as a gene that sometimes flips on. some people become bigs, others littels. anyway, the MC is a dl. kind of freaked out that his love of diapers will get him to be triggered or that he might be a surpressed littel. Head space, is like a condition in the book, casuing you to regress mentally to whatever age. Suprisingly the story is not really about being babyied or diapers either. its about finding family. The real conflict centers on the MC past, what he supressed, a lot of truama from when he was a kid. the second MC, is a big, but they both develop a platonic friendship as they talk out the fears, and just live life. at some point things are so bad for the MC that he takes robert up on his offer to try living like a littel for a month, seeing if he gets triggard. about finding out who he is suppose to be. Other character come into. A mommy like figure, and a little girl, who becomes like a sister to him. the babying is rely a form of therapy form him as he becomes more and more vunerable. in time you learn about his past and he finlly starts to heal and grief many people who had died in the past. the book is called Littel or not. and it ends with the conclusion of what he discovered from the babying/ thereapy. i leave it as a cliff hanger but technically you should be able to figure it. then there is a sequel and some oter stuff i am working on. I Mostly focuse on cuddeling, simply being held is like my favorite thing. you dont always have to dress up all the way to get what you need. and in te end the MC just wants to have a family again. its ment to be touching if i can write it that way. tons of diaper and all that, but it really is about physical affection with people you love, not in like a dirty way. I could be more expressive on this to make this sound way cooler, but i am leaving that to my self for now i have like 250 pages currently, sigh, so much work to do and i dont even want to think about the editting.

sculpting, sounds about right, i imagine trimming a hedge. But grammarly, i am intrigued. i will look into that. i know i will stay have to write it, but having something to shake out the clutter would be nice Sounds like a cool project you are working on, hope it turns out well.

My method is close to yours spark, say i never wrote anything done when the story came to me, i am doing it after the fact(so much regret over that). Its just that i can go so deep inside my mind, I live out my thoughts in my head. I began last summer, after being inspired by something, i just thought about it. i got so engrossed in it that i spent 6 weeks of all my off time just staring off into space, in my head i was living it, feeling it, hearing the dialogue in my mind. It was a lot of fun, but eventually i made the decision to write it down. The story i was making met a lot to me and i never wanted to forget. I am not a writer, i used to be a math teacher if that tells you anything lol, major learning curve. but i have been forcing myself to relearn things they teach you in school. I have been writing like a mad man, i don't have a structure to this, its just all in my head. and i write one scene as i remember it, then another. and latter in the editing process i have to figure out how to connect everything. not the best method i know, but its what i got. and i do the read aloud function to. I am getting close to a major shift in the story, and will have to structure that out carefully. and i plan on learning as much about how to do that before i get there. and hopefully sticking to that method in the future.

yeah that could work, and your not wrong. there is not a lot of understanding of where josh, Robert, and the drunk are. i can see how that would be confusing.

Its one of those things where your context is limited because i did not post the whole scene. It supposed to begin with robert leaving work and then you switch to josh perspective that leads up to the crash. i was thinking if i kept it short i might get more people to read it. maybe i should of just posted the whole scene. Why Robert swerved, he was suppose to do it because there is a drunk guy in the road, but that would not make much sense considering the setting so i was wanting to re imagine that, as for the AI. He disengaged it prior to the scene, its like 4 pages before what i posted. i might not want to say AI because that implies that the car should of acted on its own. will have to think on that. hey thanks for responding, means a lot. i think i am just going to post the whole scene.

I like that a lot of people have seen this, but really could use some feed back. be brutally honest if you want. I have over 200 pages in the works and so much more to write. If i need to step up my game i will, but i need to hear that from you all, so please if you read this, say something, it was bad, it was good, take an extra minute and add what you liked, or did not like. i no this is missing context but that's on purpose dont want to spoil things down the road.

I am working on this car wreck scene, Hoping for some feedback. Have never written any thing like this before, was trying to capture the dynamic action. Ill leave out the proceeding 6 pages to be concise, though it does give more context. Having found some of his nerve, he noticed the rain; it had picked up while he was inside. And his gathered nerves slipped through his fingers. Not wanting to drive in this kind of weather, if he could have avoided it, he would never drive. But his supply had run low, and he still had to get to work, he did not have a choice. And memory came back to him, His new job; “started in less than an hour” he thought, wishing he had the day shift. Taking a deep breath again, he walked quickly to his car, regretting parking so far away. With one hand clutching his purchase, as his other reached for his keys. His new job, he could not be late. It took everything he had to find the courage to include on his resume that he had a medical issue and had to wear protection Standing in front of the car door, it was hard to see the keyhole, but on finding it he pushed the old key into the lock. “Screeeeeeeeeech” Josh reacted to a terrifyingly familiar sound as rubber screeched nearby. And as he looked up, for a moment he saw beams of light rolling in the darkness failing to pierce the shallow fog on the street as the beams scattered. Then the booming clang of metal echoed uncomfortably close into the long cold night. Then his world went black. Robert Passing the recently built subdivisions catered to the more affluent, and not too far from his house he approached a familiar intersection. (not a place for a drunk to be, change the setting) Robert was still semi daydreaming, waiting, and hoping for the eventual day he longed for, when he could be a true and proper daddy in his own right. His mind distracted, in the happy thought; then his instincts noticed; through the windshield, fog, and rain the silhouette of something, no, someone in the middle of the street. INSTINCT, that part of his mind that saw more clearly and reacted faster reached for the control center of his brain. His instincts fully engaged, taking control over his body, forcing his consciousness away. Adrenaline surging, he used all his might to jerk the steering wheel as hard as he could towards the left. While simultaneously slamming on the brake; causing a dreadful screech to fill the night. Losing control, the rear wheels lost their grip on the road as they spun out and hydroplaned over a puddle. A disorientation of unease formed in the pit of Roberts stomach as his body rose in the air and like a corkscrew turn on a roller coaster was yanked back down over repeatedly. The centrifugal forces of the role slammed Robert’s head into the glass of the window. Time slowed down as he began to crash and ricocheted through the street and into a parking lot. Contorting and crunching of metal, violent vibrations stabbed at him knocking the air from his lungs. The vehicles airbags deployed on first contact with the street, creating a protective cushion of air inside the cabin, though the side bags malfunctioned. Roberts arms flailed against the window, roof, and dash; unable to bring his arms to his chest, unable to find purchase or something to brace against. Helplessly strapped to his seat, terror overcame him as he was forced to endure the merry go round from hell. Thank goodness for the fire hydrant that slowed and altered the path of the rolling car. Thank goodness for the adjacent parked Toyota as it absorbed most of the momentum. The back end of his car, up in the air rolled over the Corolla, the front low to the ground. The back end rolled and fell, causing the front end to pop in the air. Partially slamming into the parked civic, bumping it a few feet as it continued to roll over the hood. And as he rolled across and off the hood, being pulled back down again he thought he saw a kid or a teenager from his elevated position through the window as he came crashing upside down for the final time, coming to a tittering stop as the car found a new center of balance. Robert never quite lost consciousness, but he was in a daze and in shock. “Ahhhhhh”, He groaned. He was not sure how long he hung there, his world upside down. Long enough to feel his heartbeat in his ears as his blood circulated into his head. Long enough to feel the fatigue of the straps anchoring him in place. Long enough to feel the aches in his body, the thumping in his head from being tossed like a ragdoll as a female voice drowned on over the speakers. For a long minute he just hung their panting as his sense of orientation came back to him. Causing his windshield to fog a bit as he did so. He raised his arms off the roof of his car bringing them to his face, needing to feel something as if the act would tell him he was ok. Instinct: “Wait, where’s The kid.” His instinct roared back to life looking this way and that. And there, seeing somehow into the dark outer periphery, through the passenger window the outline of a body overturned on the pavement. For a long moment his instincts recoiled from the daze of what it saw. It retreated long enough for Robert’s conscious mind to come to the surface to see what had made his instincts to retreat. “NO!” And past fears came to him, his nightmares realized. That it had happened. He had harmed, hurt, caused pain, he had killed…..”NOOO!” he screamed. Robert had feared this moment, ever since the instinct came to him when he was triggered in his sophomore year. The thought of what he might be responsible for came to him in a sudden flood of panicked terror, a desperation for it not to be so. And in a rare moment of clarity, in a moment of grim determination he and his instincts united as one inside his Big space. The combined effort was enough to ignore the pain and discomfort and a new shot of adrenaline fueled the duet that played inside his mind. Frantically, his body wiggled and strained to get free as he clawed at the latch of his safety harness. Finding the latch, he struggled with the release. Though he felt it, Robert ignored the new added injury as gravity pulled his large muscular body headfirst into the roof. “Please remain in the vehicle” the AI stated. “Distress call has been dispatched and emergency assistance is on its way.” The Ai continued to repeat itself as Robert struggled to pull his legs down and out of the driver’s alcove. Crawling over to the passenger side, the compartment now smaller from the crash; seeing again what he thought might be a teen or a kid laid out on the pavement. On his belly he reached and tried the door handle, though Robert had no way of knowing that the locking mechanism had been damaged. “Stupid computer.” Roberts mind whirled, “wait the computer.” (I may cut this) “System: Activate emergency door ejection” Robert yelled desperately. “Processing, denied. Please remain in the vehicle…” “There is a guy out there, I need to check to see if he needs help.” Robert tried again. “Please stay in the vehicle and try not to move. Initial diagnostic complete; damage to the driver is non-critical, please stand by for medical aid.” Taking a moment to breathe and think, “there is an injured person, and I need to render medical assistance.” “Processing, denied.” He tried again “the vehicle is in bad shape, there are hazardous conditions that will lead to my death if you don’t let me out. “Negative, no such conditions detected.” Growing frustrated at his inability to do anything but watch on he screamed “Fucking rich people and their stupid cars”. And then he tried again “your sensors are not working right; don’t you see the fire.” “No fire detected.” “I am going to suffocate or burned to death he howled If you don’t let me out, I can see hazards you can’t, “Processing. Considering. Denied.” Robert tried to turn his body, to get his legs under him to kick the passenger side window out but was unable to. Frustration continued to grow. Anger and explosive energy wailed up inside, coiling like a snake, enraged at the time he wasted on the AI, enraged by his lack of mobility. Robert found footing somewhere in the driver’s compartment to brace himself. He bawled up his fist and began to punch the window, over and over, until it shattered. Ignoring the bloody mess that was now his hand, he hauled himself through……….

Thanks Personalias, I took some of your suggestions still considering some others. Your discord channel is a lot of fun, filled with some wonderful people who don't mind helping out a new guy like me:)

This will be short because it’s my first upload and I just want to see how it goes, just the first part of the intro and I am curious what kind of feedback I will get. I have been trying to get better as an author, ideally so I don't have to spend so much time editing. I am new at writing, but a long-time reader and I have been writing since last summer. This story is a companion book to my actual book. Characters overlap, and this was an exercise to practice writing while a figured some characters out. Somethings I thought might be helpful. I am very fascinated by the Big & little dynamic. I find the concept of head space fascinating and that's what began my writing. There are other things I care about: processing trauma, healing from it, something as simple as being held and being told everything is going to be OK, and lastly, finding happiness in a world where bad things sometimes happen. I have mixed some things in to add to the world building that I think some of you might like. There is something about littles that is hard to articulate. In the way their faces light up when they smile, and the joy they bring with them wherever they go. You can see this in the way they play and laugh, in their naive and gullible natures, in their contentment with simple things. Whatever it is that makes littles so unique would be close to their purity of spirit. Adults have lost that purity, that innocence. And children will eventually lose theirs too, becoming adulterated by simply living in a broken world caused by flawed people. And that is what is so terrible about growing up. Your innocence is taken from you the more you experience life and the world. Perhaps that is what makes little so fascinating. Unlike children they won’t shed that purity, unlike adults they haven’t lost that innocence. That purity of the spirit is preserved for ever. There is a fierceness inside of Bigs and it’s seen through many words we use to describe them; here are some. Words like: “caregiver, protector, provider, and parent”. We sum it up in the words Mommy and Daddy. A name that when cried provokes great fierceness. Will it be hands that reach for you when you’re sad? A fist ready to fight for you? Strong arms to hold and comfort you? A gentle understanding voice that lets you know that everything will be, ok? Or eyes that radiate unending compassion to let you know you are loved? There is also a nobility of character inside of them. A fragility that is willing to risk, suffer, and give of themselves for the thing they care about. Hmm, how fitting is it they got to be the ones to watch over that purity of spirit that remains unchanging in a dark world. (working progress) - SanguineReader Sunny By me Being little is a beautiful thing. This was something Sunny knew. She was of course thinking back to a simpler time, before all the heartache and pain. Back when her family was still together, and things were good and simple. Back when she was not afraid to run to her mommy or daddy when she got scared or sad. They were all ways there for her, quick to pick her up and embrace her in strong loving arms. Back then when they paid attention to her, made her feel special, and loved. There was just nothing like being little back then. Having grown tired playing amongst the flowers, arranged to form a small 6ft tall maze, and spotting a large budding oak tree she carefully looked into the little park; looking this way and that, making sure that she could not be seen she made her way to the tree. Finding a comfortable place beneath the large oak tree to lie down, light beaming down through the branches as she looked up and caught the brilliant blue of the sky above peeking through the leaves. Her eyes had grown heavy as a gentle breeze blew and brought with it the comforting smell of newly budding flowers. Being little was beautiful, she thought one last time. As she fell into a gentle sleep whispering the words, “back then.” v Having grown up her entire life in a world of littles and Bigs, Sunny never paid much attention to those strange adults who were treated like children. She never hated them or thought bad of them. She just knew they were different and needed more care. And since she was not a Big or a little, she had little reason to think about them. Until her triggering when the family found out her dad had been cheating on her mom with a colleague from work when she was thirteen. Things got bad fast. “An honest mistake” he had tried to explain to her mom. But she was not having it. It did not help that his girlfriend demanded that he leave his family and marry her when she found out she was pregnant. Divorce is never fun, especially for a child. Not really understanding at the time, she just knew her mom now hated her dad. There was so much screaming back and forth, meanness, things thrown, crying, grief, depression, and rage. She withdrew within herself and made herself scarce as best as she could. She and her older brother Lucas somehow became forgotten in the battle that ensued. Caught in the middle, she and her brother watched on helplessly as the two people they loved the most in the world ripped each other apart. When at home she stayed out of their way, at school she pretended everything was fine, doing her best to not let her friends or teachers see how sad she was inside. But how could she be fine? She felt like a hostage to her parents, knowing by now to never give the appearance of picking a side. Things would never be like they used to be, she knew, knowing that something tore inside her heart. And, not knowing when a certain gene that had laid dormant deep inside had activated beginning to send new signals and chemicals to her brain. She began to feel this desire, not quite a compulsion but to play with toys meant for younger kids. To want to ask for hugs and kisses, to raise her arms with the expectation that she would be picked up. And though the feelings inside of her grew slowly, small signs began to appear by the time she was fifteen. Her growth had long started to slow, her breasts were underdeveloped, she would have accidents at night every now and then. And though she never told anyone, sometimes during the day too. There were other things of course. Rediscovering old toys in the attic and playing with them when she could. She recovered her old companion Bebe and even an old paci. There was a growing kind of focus that started to form inside of her. an attention span that was not quite normal that usually set in when she played or drew. There were developing changes in her mannerism, a diminishing of emotional fortitude. She found herself isolated from her parents, depressed and alone. If it was not for Lucas, she did not know how she could have made it through those tough times. When the shouts and yells would turn to screaming, and horrible words were said, and when his mother would attack her father trying to provoke him to do something she could use against him; she would always run to her room and hide. Sometimes under the covers, other times in her closet or under her bed. If Lucas was home, he would always come and find her. Lucas was two years older than her and such a sweet and caring brother. Fiercely protective of her, always going out of his way to make her feel loved and special. On one particular night, the fighting had gotten really bad. The night her father chose to leave and never come back, choosing the other woman over her mother, Lucas, and herself. That night she ran to her room and hid in the closet. She kept a secret in there. An adorable purple stuffed giraffe her parents had given her when she was born. Huddling under a blanket she held on to Bebe for dear life. That night, her brother came to find her, looking for her in her room, knowing there were only so many places she could be hiding. Not finding her immediately and checking under the bed and still not finding her. He turned and moved and checked the closet. Seeing her with tears falling from her eyes and seeing Bebe again in her arms; he crawled in under the blanket pulling the door shut behind him. It only took a second to pull Sunny into his arms, wrapping his arms tightly around her as she laid the side of her head on his shoulder. Lucas was tall enough to feel the weight of several dresses on top of him, as he moved her while in his lap to a more comfortable position; leaning and resting against the back wall of the closet. Through the walls the shouting intensified, and the sound of breaking, shattering, and general mayhem as unknown objects had been moved from their places as they had been thrown. And with each new crashing sound, Sunny would tremble or jump, giving Lucas the extra reminder that something in the house was broken and in pieces. “I don’t know how, but I promise that someday everything will get better. None of this is our fault, it’s not your fault Sunny. Mom and dad can’t seem to see us anymore, and I know that hurts. But we have each other, and I love you. I can’t prove it right now, but someday everything will be OK.” With a raised and gentle whisper into her ear. The Heighten screaming began to raise in tempo and tenor, as the sound of hurried bodies made their way to the front of the house. And, moments later a large bang that caused Sunny to Jump in Lucas arms, another signal that something was broken and scattered. Their family; as their father left for good. Lucas tightened his hold on her when she jumped at the sound of the loud bang. And she cried. And cried while he brushed his fingers through her hair and patting her back. Unable to keep the tears at bay any longer, Lucas let his pain flow gently down his cheeks, and then began to sing. In a soft and mournful tone, and with the occasional catch in in his throat; he sang slowly. “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are gray, you'll never know, dear, how much I love you, so please don't take my sunshine away.” He sang a few rounds, holding her, and feeling the warmth of her body grow in his lap. It pained him that his parents could not see them anymore. And the saddest thing of all was they could not see the changes in Sunny. He knew there was nothing he could do for her, he just wished he knew what to do, and he worried for her. He did not want to imagine his sister deteriorating to the point where he had to call little services. He was not completely sure she was regressing or if was a coping mechanism for the stress of all the fighting. He had noticed things for a while, but it was so slow. Speaking softly then Leaning in as he spoke, he kissed her on the head after a short pause. “If we have to be sad Sunny, at least we are together. I love you sunshine, I always will.” “I love you too Lukey.”