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Reddy

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Reddy last won the day on April 28

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    Incontinent
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  1. I guess I'll have to finally make a real effort to destroy my bowel continence through stretching.
  2. Unfortunately, bad news - From the clinic today: "The bowel surgeon has since retired and we currently don't have a replacement. I will keep you posted if anything changes."
  3. That's very interesting. I would like to try it on both internal and external sphincters.
  4. I haven't heard anything. I'm curious too. I want to know if anyone has had the surgery yet. Eventually I'll probably do a consult, but not soon because I wouldn’t get the surgery this year. Hopefully we hear something from somebody else, I'm very curious.
  5. Yes, I don't have guilt from wearing diapers. I have to wear them. I think your analogy for the surgery about looking back on something dumb you did in the past is appropriate, and will be accurate. Even if it's premeditated, it will still be true, because time will pass, and it will inevitably become your past choice that you've resolved in your mind and moved beyond. And so, you won't have chronic guilt. People wrote some pretty fancy posts saying I'd have to live with knowing I had chosen this, and will always feel guilty. But that's just not what happened. My surgery was already well over a year ago. On a day to day basis, I'm not thinking about it. What I'm thinking about is my daily reality, which is that I'm leaking pee whether I want to or not, and that I have to wear a diaper. I don't feel guilt from the actions required to continue on with my daily life. Guilt is just not something that comes up. I say that as someone who never wore diapers because it felt inconvenient, a hassle and honestly weird to me. And there are a lot of people I would have never in a million years worn diapers around because doing so when diapers were unnecessary would have felt kind of wrong in some way. Wearing the diapers anyway would have led to guilt, probably. Or at least, an overwhelmingly distracting internal dialogue about whether I should be wearing the diaper at all. Now, I suddenly have to wear diapers at all times. It's a part of me. That being the case, and then going on and living my daily life, does not generate guilt for me. I think you'd just end up happy.
  6. Sorry for missing this 🫨 - How has your day to day changed? I wake up in a soggy diaper, my bed is more often wet and smelling like pee, I can't be naked for even a minute after my shower. I have to put on a diaper right away. If I put on socks first, whatever I'm sitting on will get wet because bending to reach my socks makes me drip pee. My pants look puffier. Sometimes my diaper leaks at work. I have to change and make diaper sounds in the bathroom stall and people can hear me ripping the tapes. I am always, always, in a wet diaper. I'm dry for a minute, or I'm naked in the shower. All other moments, wet diaper is always around my body. - how do you carry changes while you’re out? Do you have a diaper bag? No but I bring a backpack everywhere (work, visits) and also have diapers in my trunk of my car (quick errands). Forgetting to pack diapers in my backpack is really really bad. Traveling on a plane requires a big medical luggage bag of diapers. - What’s your skin care process look like? Nothing really. I haven't had a diaper rash in a while and when I did I used baby powder until it was gone and I went back to forgetting about baby powder. - Any new unexpected challenges you’ve encountered and conquered? Always having a diaper bulge is weird and I can never ever avoid that now. Just having to pack diapers everywhere. Having so many diapers to throw away. Leaking into my pants at work if I don't change often like I should. - How is your sexual health now? Do you know if @BrownBobby experienced issues? My boners are a little softer sometimes. Orgasms were unsatisfying for a long time, but now they are amazing again. I get that beautiful feeling with each pumping motion of my prostate inside me again. - Have you been on dates or intimate with anyone? Any advice? Not really, but I want to. I've been working out and eating healthy and I want to get muscles and confidence and then try dating. - Is there anything you wish you knew before becoming incontinent/advice or warnings you’d give someone? No, not really. I'm happy with it. Diapers are a huge hassle, bulky, make you smell like pee, and sometimes loud. But I knew all of that. I never practically liked to wear diapers before, it was easier not to. Everybody said once you become actually incontinent, diapers suddenly suck. They don't. They're the same as before. If you've ever worn a diaper, then you know what being incontinent is gonna be like... it's like that.
  7. I'm good. Sorry for lack of update. I am incontinent. And I have started wetting the bed. I can't go to bed without a diaper at least. And it has to be a dry diaper, or I'll leak. Orgasms became amazing again. I'm happy about that. I keep thinking about the bowel incontinence surgery. I want to know more about how it would affect things overall.
  8. Yes that's correct. It does not continuously drain while I sleep. I have to wear a diaper to bed because my pants and bed will start to get really wet before I fall asleep, because even while lying down I pee with movements, with large intakes of breath, with coughing, sneezing, etc. But it fills up overnight or when I'm sitting for a long time. But overall in my life, I feel the need to pee a lot less. If I'm up and about my bladder never fills, my diaper just gets wetter. It's not worth it to try to make it to the bathroom because my diaper is always getting wetter no matter what. And my stream is so weak it would take a long time if I went to the bathroom and I would mostly drip everywhere and on my pants (it's hard to push enough to make pee go outward at all). And then, if I do feel any urgency, which I haven't for a long time, it's not uncomfortable because I would have peed long before I got that full. I remember constantly having to go to the bathroom so often all day long. Now that is just not part of my life. And that's kinda nice.
  9. I can hold the bulk of it a little while but drips and drops start to come out. I used to go to the bathroom when I felt full. But I had too many times where it just soaked my pants. Not worth it to get just part of it in the urinal after mostly filling diaper anyway. I never flood because my stream is too weak and even if I push it comes out slowly. So even if my bladder is really full if I start walking around it just slowly drips into my diaper. It only fills after sitting down and after sleeping in bed. If I am consistently walking then my bladder doesn't fill up as fast as the dribbles empty it so in those cases I never feel my bladder, just feeling a wetter and wetter diaper.
  10. Yes I do. Because I sit down at my job.
  11. I was just relaxing in bed after dinner. I use about as many diapers as I expected. 3 or 4 diapers every 24 hours. I don't really try to get maximum use out of each diaper, it just happens because I don't realize I need to change until I need to change. I don't wear plastic pants or cloth diapers. Although I'm not opposed to it. But I don't. I have never tried the penis clamps.
  12. Im not in a diaper. Its nice to take a break sometimes. And feel normal. But my pants and bed are wet now. Its probably gonna be really soon that im in a diaper again. But it was interesting being out of a diaper for a while.
  13. Wow, nice! I originally figured I would do it 6 months out or so, but moved it earlier and could hardly wait the 3 weeks lol. It becomes really exciting and hard to wait for.
  14. Yes, I usually pee when I'm jerking off, not always a lot, sometimes more especially if I'm spending longer with it. But 90% of the time I keep my diaper fully on and taped when I jerk off so it doesn't matter at all. Yeah, due to the procedure at the bladder neck it all shoots back into my bladder (retrograde ejaculation) and that will never go back to normal.
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