awake_maybe

Okay, so I'm wondering if I'm an oddball here or if any of you folks would agree... I used to look at porn a lot more often when I was younger, but found, the older I got, the emptier it felt. I'll still occasionally look around to help spur my imagination, but what I really am longing for...just isn't out there. Is it unusual that I am specifically looking for vids where the star of the show talks about her interest in the fetish or lifestyle, comments on how what she's doing makes her feel, or interacts with others on the subject? I'm not just seeking simple gratification - I like to relate to people and feel connected in all that I do (not just adult stuff), and, with the fetish, that means I want to be confident that the person I'm watching enjoys what they're doing and want to know a bit more about her experience(s) with it. I've been thinking about that a lot lately and would be curious what you all think?

The answers to this question are both fascinating and reassuring. I'm seeing quite a variety of people from all walks of life. I'm an atmospheric scientist - not important enough in my field to worry about naming the discipline. I'm just an in-the-trenches weather forecaster helping people the best way I know how (that I can monetize...LOL). I work from home (all those weather prediction models, analysis tools, and observations can be viewed from anywhere in the world, after all), so...at least that doesn't interfere with wearing.

I'm having a bit of a conundrum - not exactly like the original poster, but...sort of. I respect my wife's boundaries, one of which is that she doesn't want me to wear when I'm going to sleep with her (not sex...actual sleep) because she doesn't feel physically as comfortable coming into contact with them (and possibly because they trigger some bad memories from her youth). I do have to admit, this kinda bums me out, but it's not so crucial that I want to push for it and make her uncomfortable. The issue is...sex isn't just an activity for me...the thing that leaves me the most fulfilled and 'in the mood' is raw emotional intimacy - feeling understood and feeling like I understand someone else on levels that require a ton of trust. I'm having a lot of trouble finding 'the mood' at least in part because I don't think my wife can/will ever understand how omorashi and diapers make me feel, and in part because she has always been very uncomfortable exploring her own desires so...I spend a lot of time trying to connect with her by talking about what's going on in my head and it's a struggle to get anything back from her about what goes on in her head. I end up feeling constrained and somewhat lonely. I'll never stop trying, but...yeah I kinda get feeling unmotivated in bed.

My wife is supportive of my increased interest in diapers - even suggests I wear one if she sees that I'm extremely stressed or overstimulated and I'm at home because she's seen how they can help. But I have to admit, I feel really...really weird putting one on in front of her. Having one on under my clothes, not a problem, but putting one on does embarrass me a bit. Might be in part because the first time she saw me putting one on, she laughed a bit - I guess she thought the position I take to diaper myself was awkward looking? She wasn't being mean just...kinda caught her off guard seeing it.

Hi all, I have a more detailed profile description on fetlife (same username if anyone wants to know more about me), so I'll keep this brief just to say hello. I'm a relatively recent convert to full DL status; though, looking back on my life, the seeds were always there - just suppressed. I started in the fetish world on the omorashi/wetting side pretty much straight out of the cradle and started really exploring that at age 14. I even briefly tried diapers when I was 19 but never allowed myself to consider it beyond a first trial. I'm married for 9 years and love my wife deeply enough to explain my entire fetish journey. She doesn't share any of my particular interests, but is supportive as much as she can be. I'm on the autistic spectrum - high-functioning, but definitely have most of the same experiences others on the spectrum do, especially with sensory stimuli, pattern obsession, hyperfocus, and social fatigue. I'm an atmospheric scientist and definitely somewhat geeky, but too mundane to quite fit in fully with the convention-going diehards (e.g. I'm into Star Trek, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Marvel, board games, sports statistics, geek romance, and philosophy...but not really RPGs like D&D, cosplay, LARP'ing, fandom communities for even the things I love, conventions, fanfiction, gaming beyond the casual stuff, etc.). I find I do better making friends and connecting with like-minded people through forums and chats, rather than sites like fetlife or social media and was glad to see that a forum like this one still existed and had decent activity as, it seems like most of the internet chatter for people like me has shifted more to soundbite social media (Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr, etc). I used to be very active in watersports/omorashi forums and chat pages and really got to know a bunch of folks more personally as friends and I miss that. I'm hoping to get to know more folks from the ABDL space now that I've realized that's more important to me that I ever imagined.